Love Like It’s the Only Thing That Matters

Many people when they come to the end of their lives regret two things: The things they neglected to do and the love that they neglected to give.

Live and love like its all that matters because it isThankfully, my life is full of life lived to its fullest featuring many accomplishments and lots of love – all kinds of love – always authentically given sometimes reciprocal others unrequited; all enormously incredible and without regret.

When having half a notion to consider tackling an idea or project, I have been in a position to launch with enough fortitude to give it the ol’ college try. The results have run the gamut, everything from hilarious failure to incredible success (and everything in between); never a dull moment in the life of Masters.

Some people who have witnessed the less than desirable results of some of my projects expected me to feel bad about the, “failure.” Though, I’ve never looked at any of them as failures, only lessons learned along the way, cumulative as I continue to move forward.

My clients comprehend this never-say-die attitude (even have some of it reserved for themselves), while other folks would have thrown in the towel long ago.

In regular social circles I humbly practice restraint so as not to appear to have such a vast degree of varied experiences (unless, of course, I’m in the company of one of my friends or clients who also have the same kind of personal portfolio).

In love, I practice the same regard for others. There is a kind of love that is relentless, like that which is shared amongst my children, siblings and extended family. Romantic relationships can be a little trickier. Certainly I can be all-in and love full on but that is not always the case for the other participant. I realize that we all are just doing the best we can with what we have. And though it may be painful in the moment… it is what it is.

For me, it is better to live a love without take-backs. That is to say, if I ever loved someone (as a lover or as a friend) I never disregard that love, no matter the circumstance.

I believe it is better to let bygones be bygones and just continue to love, even if the other has moved on. The pain and angst that goes along with holding a grudge or maintaining any level of bad feelings only hurts myself and dishonors the love and respect previously assigned to the individual.

Every relationship is an opportunity to better understand the human condition and each experience plays an intricate part in my continued training, giving me more insight to share with friends and clients who may find themselves in a similar situation.

I like that Dave Mason song lyric, “So let’s leave it alone, ’cause we can’t see eye to eye. There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy. There’s only you and me and we just disagree.”

I also understand that not everyone is called to a forever love and regard for others, and that’s okay, too.

We are all just trying to make it though this life to get to the others side; there is no right way, or wrong way. And if you’re hating on me now… Believe me, it’s all right. We will laugh about this on the other side.

If you’re struggling with the intimate details of a relationship that gone awry, a good relationship coach can help keep a grip on your own piece of mind, while maintaining a manageable level of damage control.

Live and love like it’s all that matters…

because it is.

Are You Ready for the End of the World?

There is certainly a lot of buzz about the end of the world as we know it, as well as its literal end.

Why are we visited by so many predictions of the end of the world? Traditional scientists and historians report the world has gone through the cosmic control-alt-delete hardcore reboot as the result of impact by a huge meteor hurling our planet into the ice age. It stands to reason that a similar event could revisit us at some time.

End of the World if the world ends tomorrow

But then there’s the Star Wars program to help us thwart any attack of meteoric significance, looks like we’ll dodge that one.

Then there’s the religious folks who propose our impending doom will come in the form of everything you can think of from natural disasters (wielded by God Himself) to the rise of Satan and the return of Christ.

Not to mention potential zombie apocalypse… and what does it matter when the earth is moving closer to the sun every day with impending collision is inevitable?

Even if we avoid being distracted by the threat of destruction of the entire human race, if nothing else our own sense of limited mortality looms over us, as we age we continue to see the lives of friends and loved ones come to their respective ends.

The fact remains, whether we like it or not, the world may come to an end but the end of our own life is inevitable. It is commonly reported that it is one of the two things that are certainties in this life: 1) Death 2) Taxes.

What if your world ends tomorrow?

They say we don’t know when the end of the world will be, likewise, we don’t know when we will take our last breath.

Having been there with many people in their last moments, many people (even the one’s that you couldn’t possibly imagine) have a host of regrets. It is my intention to avoid regrets by embracing this life enthusiastically. What about you?

Are you ready?

When I think about my own mortality, I ask myself three questions:

1. Did I love greatly?
2. Did I enjoy my journey?
3. Did I leave something behind?

I have always held fast to the idea that love is the most important component in this life. Loving others has been the most significant driving force in my daily life, preceded by my love of God (and both can be quite confusing).

I love expressing every last savory drop of experience while on my life’s journey. I have tasted the many flavors of life’s experience and continue to cherish every moment (even those moments that others may have viewed as less desirable).

I have picked up many tools along the way enabling me to find more and more joy from everything this life has to offer each and every day.

My desire to leave something behind sometimes creates conflict with the enjoyment of my journey because the creative process requires a certain level of commitment and dedication to follow a thought – or project – through to its completion.

Having an accepting degree of tolerance of my own limitations helps to keep me moving forward at a pace that is comfortable enough for me. I don’t let any lack of expertise to decelerate by momentum.

Case in point: Here’s a little ditty by my alter ego, If the World Ends Tomorrow.

What are your thoughts about

The End of the World

?

What is a Psychopath?

Okay, I have received some notoriety and obtained a level of expertise thanks to my interactions with a psychopath.

Believe me when I say, I would have rather avoided the whole affair and remained in my naïve little world concept believing that all people were basically good, with the capacity to love, if only given half a chance.

Because of my particular level of expertise people seek me out for information and support in the areas of psychopathy and dealing with predators along the Anti-social Personality Disorder spectrum (ASPD). In my work as a coach/counselor I will take on clients who are embroiled in the psychopathic struggle. Though I restrict my work with psychopaths and/or victims of psychopaths to a ten percent limit.

Limiting my work to 10% in regard to dealing with psychopaths and their victims keeps me from getting distracted from my main mission of helping others achieve their highest and best.

Doesn’t life seem to want to do that to us all? To throw us off-track and distract us from our life’s purpose?

It’s as if, when you’re just getting your life on the right path and everything seems to be just right, that something knocks you off kilter, derailing your train of thought (or life’s progress, altogether).

When I do engage in psychopath-work, I usually find myself in service to a particular segment within the psychopathic community. Victims of psychopathic predators are the people who need the most help getting back on their feet, though it is important to note that not all psychopaths are predators (even though this is their natural inclination) and victimizers.

I find myself also working with psychopaths who lead normal lives, serving the community at large in beneficial occupations and providing enormous value to the world. As hard as it may be for them, they continue to work hard at staying focused on living a “normal” life; they also, seek out people like me for assistance.

What is a Psychopath

Diagnosing a psychopath is difficult work. It can consume the lives of the psychologists and psychologists who work with them. For victims – or potential victims – of a psychopathic predator, it is of primary importance to

#1 – Identify the psychopath

So, I’ve devised a short list of attributes to quickly identify a potential predator who is a psychopath. Here is is the short list:

1. CHARISMATIC
2. SMART
3. NO FEELINGS
4. IMPULSIVE
5. WINNERS
6. NEVER WRONG

While this list is not complete by any means, it is an effective way to quickly identify a psychopath, enabling the victim to take action (which is the next step).

What if the predator is not actually a psychopath?

Does it really matter? Shouldn’t the victim take steps to protect themselves as quickly as possible to eliminate additional suffering and loss?

#2 – Take immediate action

The best way to deal with a psychopath is to take immediate action to protect yourself. Here is my short-list of steps you can take:

1. NO CONTACT
2. GET HELP
3. BE QUIET
4. STAY STRONG
5. DOCUMENTATION
6. FORGIVE YOURSELF

For more information, you can view my short video (below), or get my How to Deal with A Psychopath book. You can also visit my web site: http://psychopathvictims.com/

Stop the abuse and begin to live your life again to its fullest.

The best revenge is to live your happiest days ever, free from psychopathic influence as you achieve your highest and best.

7 Steps to Effective Marketing

Every day my clients get waylaid by a barrage of unsolicited “experts,” with the latest and greatest wiz-bang promotional doo-dads designed to rocket-launch their business into the stratosphere.

It’s free, a free-trial, a one time offer, specialized training, books, videos, streaming classes, free seminars, email tips, on and on and on ad infinitum…

At some point, you just have to let your clients take their own reins and responsibility for their own decisions. So, let go and support my clients as best I can with whatever they choose to do is the best I can do.

I can’t compete with the constant promotional efforts of those whose mission in life is to fleece individuals, promising unrealistic results and impossible guarantees based on improbable expectations.

That said, it is also a part of my job to stay on the leading edge of technology in particular areas within my realm of expertise. That means, that I, too, must subject myself to all the claims of latest and greatest tools and techniques, being careful not to be distracted by meaningless bells and whistles.

What it comes down to – the bottom line – is

What creates the best lasting results with the least amount of effort or expense?

Although much can be helpful – and not harmful – in your marketing efforts, but is it worth the effort or expense?

Marketing one’s business is important – it is likely more important than having the best product or service in the world – because what good is it to be or have the best if no one knows about it?

This is one of my areas of expertise and is why people seek me out to be a member of their team, but I am only a team member not the prime source of their marketing program.

Unfortunately, there is no black and white, step by step, marketing approach that works for every product or service every time. Marketing is a moving target that takes a lot of trial and error, experimentation and tracking costs and results.

If you have the following basic components, you will have a firm foundation on which to build your marketing campaign.

7 Steps to Effective Marketing

7 Steps to Effective Marketing

#1 Consistent Brand

You must have a consistent and brief summation of your product or service, something that reduced to its simples form communicates what it is you or your company is all about.

#2 Web Presence

You need a web site, or family of websites that creates a picket fence of protection for your product, idea or main marketing theme, message or product. (Remember brand comes first, domain name second, but they go hand-in-hand [Masters Branding 101]… Do not commit to a brand that you cannot protect with a dot-com.)

#3 Think SEO Google

At least for the time being Google is the best cost & effort for the results deal outperforming all the other methods of marketing. Focus on having some SEO (Search Engine Optimization) including keywords, images and best use of your family of domains offering regularly valuable content for Google’s spiders when they come by to scan your site. Add some AdWords campaigns and you’re good to go.

#4 Email Marketing

Create collection methods to get the emails of individuals interested in your product(s) and/or service(s). Offer them something significant in exchange for their email address and their permission to contact them at a later date via email. This is of vital importance to your marketing efforts, creating a relationship with your clients/potential clients. Be careful not to over-market to your email subscribers.

#5 Participate in Social Media

The strength and payback of social media ebbs and flows for each business independently. Only participating and tracking individual results can determine what will work best for you and your product or service. At the time of this post the bulk of my clients are getting their best results for their Facebook pages; plus Facebook offers advertising and promotional programs for a fee that can be quite effective.

#6 Multimedia Marketing

There are many ways to offer value with audio and video content making it available to your audience, via iTunes, podcasts, webcasts, vblogs, LiveCast (via cellphone), Skype (one-to-one live interaction & classes), Periscope, Vimeo and the king of all multimedia marketing (accounting for 99% of the results) is none other than YouTube.

#7 Expanding Sales Funnel

What good is it to market your product or service if you have nothing to sell… and always something more to sell your buyers. The fact is, if you give them something to buy –and they opt to buy – there is a good chance they will buy more, if you give them the opportunity. Expanding your sales funnel includes always have another upsell for your clients; ever give your people another way to invest with you, always.

There you have it.

The seven basic tools that you need to safely and effectively start your marketing efforts… The rest is research and development conducted on-the-fly tracking results meticulously.

Contribution or Distraction

Were your efforts today a contribution to the world or a distraction?

Although one might assert today’s efforts may have also been of no consequence whatsoever; but I find that hard to believe as everything – no matter how insignificant it may seem – has an affect on something that impacts something else.

Your Contribution is the missing piece

This is the main question I have to ask myself to keep me in check due to my special abilities. It is so easy for me to get derailed and run amok off on some harebrained shenanigans, only to look back and ask, “What did that have to do with accomplishing my mission?”

I feel humbled as I realize I have been given the greatest gift of all, an amazing life one could only hope for, the least I could do is to stay true to my reason for being here in the first place. Am I right, or am I right?

Because I work with authors – or would be authors – I believe it is a disservice to the community at large to withhold your words. They lay dormant in many people – some of the most amazing ideas and concepts – hidden away.

Now, more than ever, we have the opportunity to release our words in massive ways, yet many of us hold back.

Why?

Most likely, your hesitation to exercise your voice stems from one word:

Fear

Fear prevents us from accomplishing many things because it’s easier to just stay within the status quo disguised as Clark Kent, never exposing the Superman (or Wonder Woman) within. Fear is behind all the inadequacies that you feel are the reasons holding you back.

The common acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. That is to say, whatever you are afraid of (if it is not present life-threatening danger) is not real. It only exists as a state within your mind.

There are many ways to protect you and overcome your fears as you exercise your right to express yourself amidst the world, and there is nothing more satisfying. But you cannot enjoy the fruit unless you first plant the seed, nurture it and have the satisfaction of seeing it grow and bloom, then bear fruit.

Everyday, I hang out in the presence of real superheroes making a difference every day, and I am never more honored to be approached by someone who has not yet embraced their own super powers and asks me, “What about my special abilities?”

Of course, I cannot work with everyone one-on-one, face-to-face, but I am open and in the process of expanding my ministry to reach even more individuals with whom I am a perfect match.

One of my specialties is helping people not only to embrace their special abilities and learn how to effectively exercise them responsibly with confidence, but to help them express themselves through the printed word, helping them to write their book and communicate their message or cause through other media markets as well.

With, or without, me as your coach, you have no excuse for letting your words go to waste.

In your roughly 16 waking hours (give or take) you will take action and create something today that will have impact somewhere in some way: guaranteed.

Today will your efforts be a

Contribution or Distraction?

What about tomorrow?

You get to choose every day.

Conspiracy Theories The Truth

In my work with powerful individuals associated with leading edge technology and thought, I often find myself face-to-face with someone (or someone who knows someone) who knows the truth about varying conspiracy theories.

There is definitely a part of me that engages when someone approaches me with new information that is contrary to public opinion concerning what is highly regarded as truth. I think that history provides us with a valid foundation to logically predict that what we believe about some things in the future may not be what we believe to be true today.

Some of the most interesting stories I’ve heard from “experts” in the field of research in these otherwise unbelievable conspiracy theories include conspiracies, like:

Conspiracy Theories The Truth area 51 aliens

Roswell and Aliens

The crashed UFO reportedly recovered in Roswell, New Mexico complete with alien crash victims, and the ensuing cover up orchestrated by the United States and the connection to Area 51. More and more, the general consensus is the statement, “We are not alone,” is true.

Chemtrails

We all have seen it, planes flying through the air leaving trails of “something” resembling contrails, but is believed to be a sort of chemical spraying. The spray is associated with any number of purposes including DNA manipulation, spreading of disease, weather control and affecting the sensitive eco-system. Also known as aerial geo-engineering.

Medicine, Disease and Big Pharma

About 150 years ago patent medicine changed the landscape of medical treatment. Government regulators teamed up with corporations to allow them to synthesis natural cures and market them through medical universities to doctors who would presescribe the patented pharmaceutical medications to their patients in their practice. This wreaks of conspiracy may be the reason why we are seeing the proliferation of both designer drugs and designer disease.

Fluoride in the Water

We all know there’s widespread water fluoridation(and who knows what other additives are put in our water and what it’s purpose might be). We’re told npot to swallow toothpaste because of the fluoride in it, but there it is: in our main water supplies. TH fluoride in you water is actually hydrofluorosilicic acid. What purpose do you think that serves?

Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs)

My original thought was that GMOs were a good thing. Turns out: Not so much. As a matter of fact, could be really bad for us. Other countries refuse to have the stuff inside their borders, yet they continue to force-feed it to us and our kids… Then there’s Monsanto trying to protect their interests, but at what cost?

HAARP

It turns out that there’ this huge facility (the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) located in Gakona, Alaska that’s run by the U.S. Air Force, the U.S. Navy, the University of Alaska, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). Many conspiracy theories surround HAARP. Could be used for controlling weather, “natural” disasters or controlling the minds of human beings.

Government Conspiracies and Cover-ups

Thanks to whistleblowers, like Edward Snowden, we’re finding our government may be more suspect than we had previously believed. Big Brother is alive and well, is watching every move you make and listening to every word you speak. They hire large numbers of personnel and control the media to manipulate the minds of their citizenry.

9/11

The events of September 11th, 2001 have left so many unanswered questions, that it leads one to believe this particular incident has many hidden secrets that seem curious today. Even a normal (non conspirator) resident of the United States would scratch their head and the confusing information. Though it may not be fully disclosed, it is certain that the cover story is not very close to the truth, not unlike cover stories of Pearl Harbor and the JFK Assassination, which we know now to be contrary to the original reports.

Who Controls the World?

Are there a chosen few actually pulling all the strings? Are we being groomed for the New World Order? Is the U.S. Federal Reserve System and nearly all of the world’s banking systems run by a few (if not two) predominant families part of another plot to further shackle us and what part (if any) do secret societies, like the Illuminati, Freemasons, Skull and Bones have to do with it?

And that’s just a few of the many ideas I am privy to “inside information” on, which doesn’t even scratch the surface of more detailed information that I’ve been sworn to secrecy on.

So, you might ask, “How do you respond to that kind of data?”

Firstly, I am very interested in hearing the truth. I am hungry for it and desire to know it…

But I cannot let it distract me from my mission. I must resist the temptation to delve into the research, much like scientific discoveries, to protect and maintain the integrity of my special purpose.

So, I defer to others, of whom it is their mission, to ferret out the details and keep me informed.

What do you think?

Any other compelling conspiracy theories we should know about?

Men Don’t Kill Other Men

Okay, men do kill other men, but it is unnatural to do so. Man, just like other species, are hard-wired against killing their own kind, unless you’re predisposed to disregarding another human life as in the case of a psychopath which only accounts for 1 out of 25 men.

The other men and women who are placed in jobs requiring to take the life of another human being, like the military, law enforcement and other armed security positions, must be trained in an effort to overcome their natural inclination not to take a life, and retrained on a continual basis.

Men don't kill other men... its just a game.
Men dont kill other men… its just a game.

Our most effective military trainers are highly skilled motivators who most likely suffer from Anti-social Personality Disorder (ASPD) a spectrum which includes psychopathy, keenly enabling them with the innate ability to kill without regard to life and motivate others to do likewise. Even so, due to the incongruency of taking the life of another for any reason (even the best of causes) Veterans are taking their own lives every day.

One advantage that these organizations have, is that one might be more willing to take the life of another to save their friend, family or the community at large.

There was a time, while in law enforcement, that I had taken the oath to take the life of another to protect and serve. Thankfully, I was never in the position – in the right time and place – to know beyond the shadow of a doubt if I could have performed that detail of my function as an officer.

I believe that if I had to exercise lethal force, that I would have done so, reluctantly and likely regrettably because I had given my word.

I am so grateful that I don’t wok under those conditions anymore.

My son gave his life in combat in Afghanistan 2009. I was with him when he took the oath. We both wore flags on our arms and had pledged to exercise lethal force (though for separate entities). Aaron was called upon to fire on, “the enemy,” and was killed in battle fighting alongside his brothers in arms.

He was only 20 years old when we laid him to rest as a decorated hero of the armed forces.

There is a great deal of conditioning in our everyday life that helps to prepare young people for life-taking, in an effort to raise potential soldiers with a propensity to take the shot without regard to human life.

Our conditioning has advanced to the point of achieving excellent ratings. In the 1860s (during the Civil War), only 5% if infantrymen took the lethal shot, today, our military is proud to report kill shots administered by 95% of armed soldiers in combat.

An impressive improvement

That’s a 90% improvement in 150 years

far exceeding the 4% with the natural inclination to kill.

At what cost?

It’s no surprise that these service-people return with such high rates of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and suicidal tendencies, because the job they perform goes so against their natural instincts.

I totally respect their answering the call of duty to serve and their dedication to risk their own lives (and some do pay the ultimate price) for the greater good.

They deserve all the resources and support for volunteering to carry out the nastiest work on the behalf of our country.

In the meantime, I will believe and dream or a future for mankind with

no war

A sacred hope of things unseen.

Are You Disposable?

In the disposable society where we throw everything away when we’re done with it, it’s no surprise that we might take the same approach to dealing with other people in this manner.

In our society we are trained to accept the idea that all of our relationships are temporary; the teachers who instruct us, the sales people to help to provide us with what we need or desire, our friends, acquaintances and even our parents and other relatives.

Especially these days, we all have more independence than in the olden days. In the olden days (not that long ago) if you did not have a family to help protect and support you or part of a community that would help you to survive in a more primitive world, it was likely that you would not live very long.

In as little as 150 years ago, we were a more communal society; today, for the most part, we are all individual units fighting for survival one against the other. This individualism is being promoted 24 hours and day, 7 days a week in every type of media that we are exposed to.

As active members of this society we do our best to keep our relationships superficial enough to stay somewhat reserved or disconnected enough to be able to move on at the first sign of an open door leading to a new experience.

Yet, with all this programming, every once and a while, our conscious is awakened by being deeply moved by another human being; additionally, this part of our psyches can become energized by separation from a non-human interaction, possibly an environmental form of nature, like a plant, a particular view or activity in nature or even an animal.

In that moment, we acknowledge a deep sense of love and suffer varying degrees of sadness or depression from the separation, grieving from the loss. All making one consider, “Is there something more?” Only to be followed by the prayer, “Oh, dear God, please, no.” Begging the deity for protection from this type of connection again because the loss is too much to bear.

There is one relationship that society will nod a blessing to that is allowed to survive the test of time, if it’s possible. If you dare attempt such a relationship; and this is represented by the institution of marriage.

Till death do us part

Till death do us part marriage divorce love you are not disposableI have been in the business of uniting people in holy matrimony, and I still perform this ceremony on occasion under the right circumstances. How romantic it is to see two people standing before family, friends and the community at large pledging their love one to the other and promising to honor, love, cherish, respect and protect each other for life.

In that moment we all send as much support as we can muster in support of these two individuals… which, sadly, is not much.

Behind the soon-to-be-husband’s back, the bride is coached by friends and family to, do this, don’t do that; don’t let him make you do this, don’t let him think that’s going to last forever, and for god’s sake make sure you get the word, “obey,” removed from you vows.

Likewise, the groomsmen and coaching the soon-to-be-married groom, “You can back out now, there’s still time,” along with a litany of caveats and last-minute-romp offers from exes and others.

Not to worry, if you change your mind in time, you can get an annulment.

And divorce is a larger industry than marriage ever thought of being, so your word? It’s not worth much.

Then, as if the result of a miracle and against all odds, couples make it for the long-haul.

Unfortunately, as the officiant, I would like to think that all of the marriage ceremonies I performed lasted forever, when in fact, half of them ended in divorce.

To all the divorcees, I lift you up in admiration and thank you for being willing to play all in against the odds and assure you that

You are not disposable

And I pray that you find that everlasting love both within yourself and with the person with whom you can join for the remainder of this life’s journey; if that’s what your heart desires.

Love endures

I believe that an evolution is underway and as we evolve, we will return to love, loving each other and a tendency to begin to practice a love so great that in retrospect, the greatest loves we have known thus far will pale in comparison.

And we have loved… Oh, have we loved.

 

What Would You Do with 20 Million Dollars?

Okay, just for the sake of this exercise, let’s say that I have a philanthropic billionaire who wants to give you – yes YOU – $20 million.

What would you do with 20 million dollars

Of course, there’s a catch.

The billionaire wants to see that his $20 million goes to a good cause and will help to make the world a better place.

There are no educational or experience requirements to receive the money, just a good heart and a good idea.

You are not allowed to simply donate it to an existing organization. You must create a new non-profit organization that will help the make the world a better place.

This is not a contest, and there is not simply one block of $20 million, there are hundreds of blocks that he and his friends want to donate to regular people, just like you, who are in the trenches of everyday life.

So, you – if you decide to participate in his generous offer – must submit a simple one page description of how you would use his monetary gift to help make the world a better place.

The question is:

What Would You Do with $20 Million Dollars?

To help make the world a better place?

You might ask what how you will be compensated for your efforts of managing his financial gift?

What do I get?

You may hire yourself to work for your organization, if you like – but if you do – you will have to perform specific job duties from the office of your organization and you must work a 40-hour week, without benefits and/or vacation for a modest wage of no more than $1,200.00 a month. The salary limit applies to everyone in your organization; no one may ever be paid more than $1,200-a-month.

What’s in it for me?

The satisfaction that comes from doing a great service for both this philanthropist and the world at large by creating something amazing, that someone else may not have been able to accomplish without the combination of his money and your heart-centered vision… not much else.

So, to recap:

  1. You submit your idea.
  2. You get $20 million to manage.
  3. You can choose to hire yourself (or not) to manage the $20 million. If you do, you may only receive a $1,200 monthly stipend and you must work a 40-hour week without benefits or vacation time.

Question #1

Would You Do It?

Question #2

What Would Your Project Be?

Observation:

With my clients, every one of them immediately has an idea already in mind and enthusiastically produces a one-page description of their project… Just in case there is a philanthropist (and there may be) that wants to support their efforts to help make a better world, both in the now and for future generations.

I have also offered the scenario to strangers – people I don’t know and who don’t know me – and their reaction is very different indeed.

For all they know, I could be the philanthropist with a $20,000,000 check in my pocket (and when asked, I’ve neither confirmed, nor denied, such an idea).

Most of them shrug off the offer as a ridiculous proposition.

Many say, “I wouldn’t even waste my time thinking about it for that!” (referring to the $1,200 a month.)

Also, a very large percentage, have a response, like:

“I can’t think of anything that could help make the world a better place.”

And indicating that their life is okay, so what does it matter about anyone else?

What would you do?

Why is Everyone Always Bugging Me?

There are some people (usually people close to us, within our inner circle) who just seem to keep attacking us, talking about us behind our back, disrespecting us and getting on our last nerve. It’s just so frustrating.

In my work with people, it is not uncommon for me to meet someone who seems to be attracting a person (or more often numerous people) who are “always” mistreating them unjustly, setting up traps and making snide comments just to gaslight them; “It just makes me so mad.” Or if they’ve been betrayed, they assert, “I can’t trust anyone.”

I cant trust anyone

What I find most interesting is that if I am able to work with this person, more often than not, the person has accepted the role of the victim. Something has happened in this person’s past that has made them feel as though people are looking for opportunities to victimize them.

Whatsoever you seek, you will find

This applies to everything. You will find whatever it is that you are looking for. If you’re looking for someone to victimize you, you will find what you are looking for.

Even if it’s not true

In most cases (unless you’re involved with a psychopath) things are not always as they seem, and they appear the way do because we project our perception onto the situation or circumstance.

Paradigm Shift


For example, let’s say I’ve worked very hard to raise my children to be respectful and controlled in public. I’ve expended a lot of effort and commitment and my children are always well-behaved in public.

One day, following an intense day, I just wanted to go to a restaurant and enjoy a peaceful meeting on the patio, relax and watch the sunset; an effective method of centering and getting in tune with myself.

In walks this man with three kids that are totally uncontrolled, the kids are running wild, chasing each other crawling around under the tables, invading other peoples’ space, being noisy and disrespectful. With each passing moment, I am getting more and more agitated.

I decide I am going to confront the man and suggest that he learn how to manage his madhouse because he’s disrespecting me and everyone else out here, which I can see are also very annoyed.

“So,” I say, “That’s an active bunch of kids you have there…”

“Oh,” he responds as if he was just awakened from trance, “Yes. I suppose we’re all a little out of sorts at the moment.”

“I’d say so,” I say, as I’m trying to find the words to get him to take charge of his unbridled circus act, he continues…

“We just came from the hospital. Their mother – my wife – just died, and I suppose we’re all just a bit out of sorts and we just don’t know how to act, or deal with it all, at the moment.”*

What I thought was a personal attack on my right to a peaceful, relaxing afternoon could instantly reframe if I allow myself to be open to what is actually happening; if I allow enough space for more information.

If I have been in an abusive relationship, future relationships may suffer from my being on the lookout for any indication that I might be being set-up to be abused again. This can make us superbly sensitive to the slightest body language, voice inflection or gesture because we are on the lookout for these clues. Because we are seeking them, we find them (whether they are correctly interpreted, or not).

What a waste of effort, concern and potentially hurt feelings we put ourselves through in order to protect us from demons that may not exist.

If you go to a car lot and find a car that you like; you think, “Oh, what a wonderful car. This is so nice and unique, a great fit for me.” From that point on – though you’ve never seen one before – now you see people driving these cars all over town. This recognition triggers what is known as the reticular activating system or RAS and causes you to notice that thing that has been brought to your attention.

So if you’ve been with a controlling person – and have sworn off every being controlled again – the slightest gesture could be interpreted as an assault on your individual rights and you fight to defend yourself against your assailant.

When would now be a good time to be looking for the beauty in all things?

If you seek it – you will find it.

* = inspired by a Stephen Covey paradigm shift