Wrapping up the month of September, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters
Ever wonder why there are so many coincidence and accidents?
Think about it.
When was the last time you were thinking about someone, and they contacted you?
These types of “coincident” happen far too often to be reduced to mere chance, if so, then someone has stacked the deck, and it appears that you have the ability to influence the stacking of the deck in your favor.
I have observed – and you may have too – that when I am in a good mood, good things happen. When I am in a bad mood, bad things happen. When I am on highest of emotional peaks, I am unstoppable.
Not to disregard the inevitable, “Hey, I’m feeling great!” only to be interrupted by what seemed to be an unexpected tragic event, decimating my emotional high.
When was the last time that you were delayed due to some unexpected interruption?
Accidents happen, there is no doubt of that, but what are they really?
Let’s say you’re a singer scheduled to perform on the second night of a week-long special event in New York then travel to San Francisco, the next day. Unexpectedly, your mother has a stroke. The New York venue compassionately reschedules you for the first night, so that you can be with your mother.
So, Patti Austin flew from Boston to San Francisco on September 10th, 2001 and not on her scheduled flight on United Flight 93 on September 11th.
I could have gone my whole life without having to deal with a flat tire on the freeway, but there I was, running a few minutes late trying to make it up on my commute when suddenly my right front tire blew. I was able to make my way through the traffic to the side of the road.
My first idea was to call AAA, but I would have missed my appointment altogether, rather than show up late, so I reacted quickly and decided to change the tire myself. A few thoughts crossed m mind at the outset of the process, as it was evident that I was having to change a tire on the side of the road yet no one stopped to help, and there was no State Patrol or police car in sight.
Then I noticed the traffic crawl to a stop. Even with people stopped on the freeway, they still avoided making eye contact with me as they kept their attention forward. As I continued to change the tire, emergency vehicles forced those stuck in the fast lane to merge to the right and a Life Flight helicopter flew overhead.
As I finished up and merged back into traffic myself, I couldn’t help but think, “That could’ve been me in that accident, if not for this flat tire.”
When I showed up at the location, my first stop was the washroom to clean up my frazzled appearance, then to rush into the meeting which I was clearly late for. The company president promptly stated the obvious, “You’re late.” To which I replied, “You’re lucky I’m here at all.” And not missing a beat, jumped right in, as if I had been there all along.
Many seemingly random incidents interrupt or alter the remainder of your day, and in an instant, any one of these seemingly insignificant alterations can lead to a dramatic, life-altering change in your life.
Conclusion: There is no such thing as coincidence and accidents may serve a higher purpose than we are able to recognize from our vantage point on planet earth.
I am a dichotomy of psychological preferences. Part of me is very firmly grounded in science and technology and the other part of me romantic and mystified by the magnificence of a higher power.
More and more, as I am exposed to a growing collection of personal data on which to draw my own scientific conclusions of life, I find myself moving from Terra Firma to the divine.
There is so much more to this life than I had originally allowed myself to believe and the vastness of it expands beyond my cognition. The awesomeness of it is overwhelming, as I recline and observe it, taking in as much of its beauty as I can comprehend, in awe of its limitless grandeur.
How can you not pick up your sword and join me in the battle against (insert evil)?
Answering this question honestly might widen the social gap between you and the proponent of the warrior who has taken it upon himself/herself to wage a war against a particular evil or injustice.
The basic concept, which is hard for the self-righteous warrior battling against the machine, is based on the energetic principle,
Whatever you add energy to increases
Mother Teresa understood this principle. While she would not engage in a war protest, she would support a peace rally. Because she knew what when you focus your attention on anything, it gains more momentum and power. So focusing on the solution is far more productive than focusing on the problem.
If you declare war against a particular evil, it requires the evil to defend itself, therefore it increases in power. It collects support and momentum to protect, defend and offensively counter-attack in an effort to survive.
Everything (good or bad) that exists is in a constant struggle to persist and survive, threaten anything and the struggle to survive intensifies. On the other hand, if you are aware of something that is undesirable, unpleasant or evil and do not fight against it, it becomes weaker.
It makes it easier for a young man with a slingshot to deal the deathblow to whatever it is that causes you concern or discomfort.
This approach is found on the high road of promoting a better world, not declaring war against an evil or corrupt one.
Certainly, there are those who are called to be the warriors, the champions whose life purpose is to expose atrocities and to stand boldly in opposition against evil. They are hardwired for this disposition and we need them to defeat the giant, but few of us possess the calling or the skills necessary to assume we could perform this function for the greater good.
Evil is fully aware of the energetic principle of “Whatever you add energy to increases,” and the evil uses this to make itself more powerful.
This is why you see atrocities in the news, in magazines, on the Internet, just about anywhere you may focus your attention. The evil knows if you can be forced to focus on it with a negative emotion, it increases the negative energetic power of the evil itself.
For instance, when you view an atrocity on the evening news and the report makes you feel depressed, sad, hurt, anxious, angry or hateful (or any of the negative emotional responses) you increase the energetic power of the evil you oppose.
Add to your energetic response any action and the evil will push back (reaction).
A more effective energetic approach to dealing with evil in the world is not to post up in an effort to battle it, but to actively support any solution, like Mother Teresa would have done.
Be cognizant and mindful about how you share with others and interact within your social circle about the evil at hand. Most people do not realize that their disapproval accelerates that which they oppose, and they’re not likely to be open to your trying to explain the energetic principle while they are actively engaged in a negative state.
Just be aware of this not being the time to explain such a thing, but do make a conscious effort to not engage in the negativity or wrongness of the subject at hand. Instead, acknowledge the evil, then sway the conversation to the solution.
I really like being approached by someone all wrapped up in negativity (effectively promoted by the evil) complaining about some atrocity or injustice. I acknowledge and affirm their concern, and as quickly as possible simply ask,
“What could we do to change it?”
The whole world changes in that moment. The change of countenance in the person is immediately noticeable, and as the conversation focuses more and more about making a better world (instead of hating the one we live in) they add energy to the best things in life.
And I totally understand, and apologize if you are reading these words in a negative state and not open to the ideas proposed here. Please be aware that I am not saying how you feel about anything is wrong. You might be our champion. We need you.
It is not uncommon for people to struggle with issues and the aftermath of betrayal. The emotional wounds from these breaches of trust can inflict sufferers in physiological ways. The emotional pain from betrayal can be as devastating as being stabbed in the back with a knife (thereby justifying the origin of the saying).
Have you been emotionally, “stabbed in the back,” by someone whom you have trusted?
Betrayers come in a wide variety of flavors. Some can be relatives and/or loved ones, sometimes the most intimate love-relationship that one can have with another human being. You may experience betrayal by a friend, co-worker or mentor.
Because we all have different life experiences and personalities, we all respond to betrayal in different ways. A specific betrayal may be of little effect to one person, while another may suffer exponentially; this suffering can be primarily internal, or may express itself externally, or physiologically.
When betrayal has been recognized, the emotional open wound is fresh and the pain may be great. After a while, the pain fades and the emotional scar tissue begins to form. One’s mind begins to filter all information as being potentially harmful, and you may begin to take on the attitude that, “I’m not putting myself out there again,” in a fearful effort to isolate yourself from the possibility of experiencing a similar type of pain in the future.
It is one’s natural fight-or-flight response to protect one’s self from pain and it makes perfect sense… but the cost can be enormous.
The worst thing that can happen to someone suffering from betrayal of trust, is to run the self-preservation-routine resulting in embitterment and over-protecting one’s self in an attempt to prevent anyone from being able to hurt you in such a way again.
The problem with this is; you know, in your heart, that you have so much to give. The sensitive people have special gifts and abilities that help to make the world a better place; they increase the quality of life for others (some who may be extremely less fortunate). Building protective walls around you will also result in cutting off exposure to others who need your light and influence.
The bitterness and fading pain of betrayal breeds a more cynical outlook on life and also comes at a physiological price that may lead to autoimmune deficiencies, illness and a laundry list of diseases.
If left unhealed, little by little, the light of those who illuminate our local community begins to fade and as it fades dramatically, so does the overall general outlook for us (or the world) as a whole.
Since there is no law against betraying another person (although some laws may be broken in the process of the betrayal), those who are emotionally less-equipped to care about the feelings of others run rampant throughout our society victimizing the empathetic shining stars with little regard to the negative impact their actions might have.
You do not have to be a victim. Instead, you can learn from this event and turn it around. In fact, you may find that this event can hurl you into an empowered and optimistic future that can change the future of others and the planet in such a way to bring clarity and focus to your life.
Utilizing specialized skills, a good coach or counselor can work with you hand-in-hand to put you back in control of your emotional wellbeing. You might be surprised to discover that this episode has prepared you as a mentor to help others struggling with similar circumstances.
You can do this; without giving up on being a blessing to others, and continue to achieve your highest and best.
I was out having dinner with my friend, Norman, and he couldn’t help but notice the uplifted countenance of our server. Unable to help himself, he asked, “Why are you so happy?”
Somewhat surprised the he’d even notice, the server smiled and told us about her painting she had entered in the State Fair and that she’d just received a text on her phone that she’d won first place in her division.
Her exuberance was apparent. I remembered a song we used to sing with the kids that went like, “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…” No hand clapping was needed here. You could tell she was happy.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you can pretty much tell when anyone is really happy, even if they’re trying to conceal it, you can just tell.
So what makes people happy?
Good news, like hearing that you’ve just won an award for your artwork, would certainly make you happy, Even if you were depressed moments before, good news can fire up you happiness hormones and usher you into joy in a heartbeat.
Ever know someone who was happy all the time?
I know it’s harder to come by these days, but most everyone knows someone who is disgustingly perpetually happy. You probably think to yourself, “No one could really be that happy,” assuming that they must be faking it, have something to hide or are full of crap; all reasonable thoughts for a person who finds it difficult to maintain a high level of joy for very long.
Now, ask one of these annoying happy people the same question, “Why are you so happy?”
They’re likely to go on and on about how the whole world is comprised of beauty, kindness, benevolence and goodness… enough to make you think that either they’ve taken some amazing illicit hallucinogen or simply lost any sense of reality and their mind to boot.
They are also likely to be thinking about all the good things in life they are anticipating, as well as what they are doing to move themselves closer to the things they truly desire for themselves or their loved ones. How could they not be happy, thinking thoughts, like those?
You might walk away, shaking your head, thinking this person might be better off suited for a straight jacket.
Nonetheless, they aren’t hurting anyone – if anything, just the opposite – their positive and outlook directed at the right person at the right time might just save a life, or in some small way make the world a better place. The cumulative effect of happy people, like these, can have enormous impact on the planet and its peoples.
Yes, you think, but what about all the pain, violence, poverty, injustice, etc…?
The people who are happy likely know about and acknowledge all the evils of the world but choose to focus instead on all the good things of the world. For every bad thought you could think, there is a good one that you could choose to spend your time dwelling on instead.
One thing for certain: Bad thoughts make you feel bad and good thoughts make you feel good.
So, when it comes down to it, happiness is a choice.
And if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Ever know someone who took a half-assed approach to ANTYHING then complained about less than anticipated results?
You know the half assing type of person who tried to fast-track, short cut, or sleight-of-hand trick their way to their anticipated results.
Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret attracted a herd of half-assed folks who came up with the bright idea that they could think positive thoughts and the universe would magically make everything they could possibly dream of appear before their eyes in real life.
Now, at first, the half assing novices noticed some preliminary results indicating their dreams would come true. For instance, if they wanted a new BMW, and posted a picture of the Beemer on their mirror, desktop and other various places where their attention might land throughout the day and took at least five minutes a day imagining themselves driving the specific model they wanted, something happened.
They actually started seeing the BMW appear on the streets, driving by them on the highway; parking in the same parking lots as the car they were dreaming about, seeing them appear more and more all around them. Initially indicating the law of attraction is working and their own BMW was making its way to their driveway.
After a few weeks, no car appears in the driveway, so the disappointed half assing potential manifestor concludes the law of attraction is a bunch of hooey, and stops by the 7-11 to buy a lottery ticket, dreaming about how they’re going to spend the 37 million dollar prize.
How about half assing business?
The novice entrepreneur either saves (but more likely comes into a little extra cash from some other method, like an inheritance or insurance settlement of some kind) and decides to half-ass their way into the American dream.
They get a business license; rent a retail space, get some business cards, signage and phone installed (maybe put some business identification on their car) and maybe even alert the local newspaper and radio stations of their Grand Opening day.
On the opening day, a few friends and relatives show up and congratulate them on their new business.
Three months later, their back at the employment office looking for another job (or approaching their previous employer about getting their old job back).
You can’t really blame the half-assers, because our culture promotes a sort-of, “I can have anything I want and I don’t really have to do anything,” mentality of entitlement.
What are the top five ways to get millions of dollars fast?
When asked that question, most Americans answer:
1. Win the Lottery
3. Win a Large Lawsuit Settlement
4. Marry into a Wealthy Family
5. Have a Great Idea (Invention or Business)
Regardless of how you feel about the top five ways most people think you can get a lot of money quickly without much effort, it is the common consensus of general populace.
I was somewhat enthusiastic about finding out that the fifth most popular way to easily make a lot of money included business, but it actually did not include business (as in starting a business because that would involve work) instead it refers to simply coming up with an idea and you are handed millions of dollars for having the thought magically bestowed upon you.
Just because something is popularly believed (like the top five ways to get a million dollars fast) doesn’t make it true. Similarly, believing that you can use positive thought to make something happen or appear is also not true because all methods require a combination of thought (the more positive the better), planning (more the better), opportunity and action culminating at the time and place.
You might object,
“But I saw on the news,” (or heard a story about, or read a book, etc…) “that” this person or that person magically manifested millions of dollars without doing much of anything. “That’s what I want.”
Is it possible? Yes.
It is possible that you will win the lottery, inherit a million dollars, win a large lawsuit settlement, marry into a wealthy family or have a million dollar idea and get paid for it.
If you’re achieving half-assed results from your half-assed efforts, it may occur to you that if you were to give it your all, your results could be much more in-line with the results you desire.
You are more likely to actually achieve financial independence, make a million dollars, or millions of dollars, if you are willing to do the work. Note that the Law of Attraction and positive psychology works like a dream for those who do the work of embracing the entire process (not just the wishful thinking portion).
I find myself working with the doers on their way to success. Doers who are willing to do the work necessary to manifest the results they desire.
We are so fortunate to be living in the greatest country in the world bestowing upon us the opportunity to achieve massive success regardless of who we are, no matter what age we are.
By all means, keep dreaming…
Wishing you are blessed with only the best.
When I started communicating and telling others about The Greatest Conspiracy back in the eighties, the concept was relegated to the societal programming that encourages us to deny our individual gifts, abilities, purpose and message to deliver to the community at large.
Reduced to its simplest form these ideas comprised my definition of the greatest conspiracy.
That was then. This is now.
Since then, I have remained open and observant, slow to speak, but diligently aware as I continued to accumulate data. I have worked with people on the inside who have told me intimate details of things that are difficult to comprehend and even harder to believe.
My awareness of the greatest conspiracy years ago was but a pinprick in the fabric of the greatest conspiracy which covers everything we know, believe or have been told represents the truth.
Far from being an expert on the vastness of the greatest conspiracy (for who could possibly be?) there are many compelling individuals with first-hand knowledge who are sworn to secrecy, or face the consequences, to die prematurely of natural causes.
I have become privy to these unbelievable details directly from the individuals themselves who were careful to establish the clergy-penitent degree of communication prior to speaking the prohibited truth about factions, circumstances, events and the parts they played in explicit detail.
This is a great weight carried by all clergy as there is no greater non-disclosure agreement known to man and those of us who are charged with safeguarding the information are responsible to a court much higher than that of common mankind.
That said, I cannot possibly disclose the details of these seeming inconsistencies in the facts of life as we know them. But, I can conduct a bit of research on my own to see if there is any probability that their accounts are in line with any other data which could corroborate their stories.
It turns out, that there is much data to verify their stories, though most of it has been relegated to fanciful folly by myth busters (not the television show) who intimidate the masses into believing the “official cover stories” of the events, or be considered run-of-the-mill conspiracy fodder for the loony bin.
Even though everything that has been told to me in the strictest of religious confidence can be found via standard research channels, has been reported to the media (and scoffed at) by others who have shared their experiences. If the subjects were less than credible, they were laughed at and humiliated, while the more credible sources died of natural causes.
The media is seeded equally with truth and lies, only we are persuaded to believe the falsehoods and regard the actual authentic truth as hilarious ranting of the comically insane.
Don’t believe me, because I haven’t said anything about anything.
For me, I cannot allow myself to be distracted by such things as conspiracies, scientific discoveries or the media as it is important that I stay true to my life’s purpose and I shall. For those who are the warrior truth-seekers, be aware as you research, ask questions and collect credible data, keep it to yourself.
No one would believe you anyway, and least of all, it would be a great loss should you pass on due to “natural causes” needlessly.
The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) often has difficulty being accepted by peers who see them as so unlike the crowd, which is why I attract them because we rejoice in our being somewhat dissimilar when compared to the vast majority. Unsuspecting onlookers may even be unaware of the HSP’s secret super powers.
1. Learn by Osmosis
The highly sensitive possess an uncanny ability to absorb information, data and skills without having to be physically interactive with the training. A keen observation skill in combination with internal intellectual processing produces excellent skills without much exterior integration. Since they are highly thoughtful, they can process passive information more deeply than the average person, without the need to practice or have actual hands-on experience.
2. Attention to Detail
Due to the innate skills of the highly sensitive person, they are likely to be attracted to opportunities to excel as editors because they have the ability to quickly spot inconsistencies or errors. The can immensely focus more intently than the average person (though they may need a pristine environment to help maintain their focus).
3. Fine Motor Skills
Think about it, mix the aforementioned abilities with excellent dexterity and focused motor skills and you have almost unlimited potential. Depending on the individual persuasion of the highly sensitive person, they could be an articulate design artist, master painter or computer programmer, engineering circuit board or chip designer. They may excel in the arts, and industries that can benefit from their special gifts like law enforcement, snipers, machinists, musicians, jewelers, dentistry, cosmetology, robotics and electronics or watch repair, etc…
4. Intense Feelings
While they may not be highly expressive externally, internally they are processing incredible amounts of deeply felt feelings. They are highly empathetic (meaning they feel the feelings of others within themselves) which makes them the best counselors and coaches because their clients actually report they feel as if their empathetic counselor has virtually removed some of their ill feelings. And, in fact, they have assimilated some of the client’s pain and taken it on themselves. If they can manage releasing the emotions they take on from their clients, they can have a highly successful, long term practice.
Though those within the HSP’s social circle may not be aware they have much in the way of feelings at all. They are for the most part not likely to express their feelings externally, but inside they have a full range of emotion (that could be much more intense than their peers) and process their emotions more intimately. These vibrant inner forces allow them to maximize plugging in and turning on.
Since they spend a great deal of time reviewing their inner thoughts and how they are perceived in the world, they are excellent candidates for becoming more self-aware and interested in personal growth armed with their successful characteristics. While being highly introspective deeply feeling people, they are drawn to like-minded people and must find someone for whom they are well-suited for long-term romantic relationships.
Having a propensity to be more likely an active supporter or giver than a gracious receiver, as the compassionate highly sensitive person awakes, they are likely to feel an intense desire to help others, reach out to the greater community at large and embrace a lifestyle that will help to make the world a better place.
7. They Do It in Style
Highly sensitive people are the best doers. While others may train and talk about their potential or expertise, the highly sensitive person is many times more likely to actually engage and do what it takes to get from point A to point B.
They are manifestors and achievers who can accomplish most anything they put their attention on.
8. Excellent Leaders
While they might initially be reluctant at the outset, when honored with a position of leadership, the industrious highly sensitive person (HSP) will more often than not outperform even the best over-the-top Type-A personality if given the chance to create and manage their own culture.
The diligent HSP can oversee difficult projects with a high level of accuracy see challenges and obstacles before they are apparent to others and are able to deal with potential problems before they arise.
You gotta love ’em
I love working with HSPs and they are by far make up the majority of the individuals with whom I find myself working with while knocking out the most outstanding results.
And if you’re building your team, seek to include a highly sensitive person on your team.
Your interactions with other people can have a huge impact on how long it takes you to get from point A to point B at various junctures along your life’s journey. If you possess a degree of anxiety when interacting with other people regularly, it would behoove you to exercise your social muscles.
Strengthening your social muscles can be a little intimidating, at first and can be likened unto going to the gym. If you’ve never been to a gym, just getting yourself to go there in the first place can be a challenge. Once you step inside, you are greeted with a maze of equipment and people who are clearly more adept at using the equipment, especially considering you’re a complete novice. Nonetheless, you survey the landscape and select what you’ve determined to be the piece of equipment that might be the easiest for you to adapt to then as you build confidence, move onto other equipment. Before long, you’re engulfed in full circuit training.
Here are some tips to start exercising your social muscles while smiling (yes, by all means, smile.)
You may notice the first three steps in establishing rapport are commonly used by cashiers at the store. It is common practice for retail establishment to require their line staff to acknowledge their customers by greeting them with some form of “Hi,” following up with an inviting, “How are you?” and thanking them for their patronage.
You could start with any one of these first three interactions.
You could start by expressing gratitude. A simple, “Thank you,” will help to break the ice. It makes the person you’re directing it to feel appreciated (good) and your reward is receiving the sense that you can visually see and emotionally feel a change of countenance as his or her spirit is lifted, if even the only slightest bit. Good job.
Moving on, you can have a lot more fun with, “How are you?”
I find that most retail staff will say “how are you?” out of habit and generally do not expect a response. This is a great place to practice your social skills. A simple acknowledgement of your state of mind (which I prefer to keep positive) like, “I am having a great day.” Followed by, “How are you doing?” They are often surprised when someone asks them how they’re doing and may not have even noticed they asked you how you were doing first, because they do it out of habit in a kind of trance. Your showing an interest in them breaks them out of the trance. Its quid pro quo, they’ve asked you. You responded. Now, it’s implied that if you ask them, they must break state and think for a second in order to muster some kind of conscious response.
How much fun is that? You’ll be surprised at the responses that will be elicited, and if only for a moment, you not only exercised some social skill building for yourself, you have rescued someone from the doldrums of an otherwise unconscious/robotic state of mind.
Now, the third part – saying “Hi” to a perfect stranger – might be the hardest of the three initial components. Besides, weren’t we told since we were very young, not to talk to strangers? Well, you’re older now, and though I am encouraging you to speak to strangers, I still suggest that you not take candy from them or get in their cars, etc…
Some people are a natural at it, like my dad who greets everyone with a smile. He’s the best Wal-Mart greeter of all time because he’s so darned good at it. He has since retired and continues to hone his skills throughout the day, and enthusiastically at church.
Q: Why talk to strangers? A: Because you don’t know who they are.
If you’re on your path, going from point A to point B, the universe may be vectoring all kinds of assistance to expedite your journey, so they will begin appearing all around you. Since you may not know who these people are, they will likely be strangers.
If they were not intended to assist you – no problem – you may have made the world a better place, just by greeting a stranger. Your smile and brief interaction may have been at just the right time and place for that individual. It may save their life.
Want to kick it up a notch?
Use their name
In business environments, this is insisted upon for line staff in high-end environments. It is not uncommon for employers to send in undercover potential clients to look for these basic components. If an employee excludes one of the components, the employer may release him/her on-the-spot if they demand a high level of customer service from their employees.
Nothing is sweeter to a person’s ears than the sound of their own name. If you can obtain and use their name in even the briefest interactions, you will make the world a better place.
Okay, we’ve got your foot in the door of the gym. Keep on the lookout for more workout routines to come.
It’s one thing to be interested in how you are perceived by others, it’s another to be overwhelmed by wondering what people are (or a particular person is) thinking about you. Being consumed by what someone else is thinking about you indicates self-consciousness.
Which is not to be confused with being consciously aware of one’s self.
If you are self conscious, you are obsessed by what other people think about you and are threatened by their (perceived) thoughts, or even worse, if they actually voice the slightest criticism.
It may be of some comfort to realize that people are not as likely to think as much about you as you might like to give them credit for.
For instance, if you’re giving an important speech in front of peers at a formal affair, you’re introduced by the emcee and as you walk up to the podium you trip over the microphone cord. You don’t fall, but your misstep was painfully noticeable. You regain your composure, make your way to the podium and look out at all the faces staring at you.
The self conscious person assumes the entire audience is thinking something like, “what a klutz!” or that you’re, “so nervous,” you’re, “stumbling all over yourself,” and, “can’t even walk straight,” or they might be wondering if you’re drunk.
While the self respecting person (on the other end of the spectrum) would simply recognize the unfortunate cord placement which was nearly the cause of a full onstage fall, shrug it off, walk up to the podium and begin his or her speech as if nothing happened.
The self conscious person in this scenario might approach a confidant after the speech and say, “Did you see that huge mic cord stretched across the stage that nearly killed me as I was trying to make my speech? I tripped, nearly killed myself and must’ve seemed the fool, or people might have thought I was drunk.”
The confidant is likely to honestly reply, “Oh, I didn’t even notice.” As neither did most, if not all of the attending audience. The self-conscious create an enormous amount of self-imposed drama and internal dialogue based on ideas without merit: nothing.
Thinking is one thing, what about what someone says?
What someone says about you, or to you about you, doesn’t really have as much to do with you, as it does with them.
You might be introduced to a personal trainer who says, “You are amazing. You would be so much more amazing if you were to lose 15 or 20 pounds and firm up in a couple of target areas. I could help you with that.”
The self conscious mind machine goes into overdrive spitting out a mental ticker tape, asserting the trainer, “called me fat … said I was flabby … overweight … a big blob of jelly … I’m not as amazing as I could be because I’m a fatty …” and on and on it goes with the self criticism that could potentially lead to self loathing, “I hate myself.”
Self respecting people would ask for the trainer’s card and might say, “Thank you.” And if they’re not considering themselves a potential client, might offer the card to someone else who might be looking to spend more quality time at the gym.
What if you asked your partner, “How does my butt look in these jeans?” to which they reply, “Yeah… I wouldn’t be putting that butt in those jeans if I were you.”
Don’t worry about it. You have no idea what was going on inside the mind and body of your respective partner at the time you asked the question that made them respond like that.
Most everyone is self conscious to some degree, but to move from self consciousness to respecting yourself in all things is the goal of one growing in conscious awareness of one’s self. Not to deny anything is as it is, but simply to recognize that things are what they are, shrug it off and don’t let it (whatever it is) knock you off-track (even though it may knock you off-balance momentarily) and resume your life.
Stay tuned and I will give you some tips on how to overcome self-consciousness.