Wrapping up the month of December, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters
If you are attracting bullies (predators and less than desirable people who may be predisposed to victimizing you), it might be a good idea to take a look at what you might be doing to attract the attention of a bully and ultimately become a potential target.
Actually, when you think of bullying, your mind takes you back to the school yard, and media attention is being given to bullying among our youth today and its effect on our society. The truth is, it’s been going on for a very long time before all this media attention and the bullies of our youth, are now up to their same old tricks in adulthood.
Among adults, bullies are likely to most commonly rear their ugly heads in the workplace. Their attention is piqued by the same things as adults as they were in their youth, their radar is seeking out people who they do not like (for whatever reason) or are threatened in some way by.
Predators often look for good people who they feel compelled to take down a notch. They might feel threatened by your peace, cheerfulness and/or success and after noticing you think, “Oh, they think they’re so blessed, or better than anyone else, someone needs to teach them a lesson.” And they take it upon themselves to deliver your reality check.
From the point of view of the predator, this is their purpose in life, levelling the playing field and knocking well-doers off their pedestals, Even though the rest of us don’t see ourselves that way, this is how we are viewed by predatory bullies, as they are seeking out those who they could victimize or destroy next.
They are never satisfied by bullying one person. If you’ve been bullied and the bullying has come to an end, it’s not because the bully has stopped bullying, it only means his attention has been focused on a new potential victim, and if bored, the bully may come back to you, if you’re beginning to regain your composure and they feel you’re in need for another attitude adjustment.
So, you might be a potential target if you’re good at what you do, and may be better than them. They may see you as a potential threat to their success, or you may be what stands between him or her and their next promotion. Bullying coworkers is how they basically eliminate the competition. If they can discredit you by sabotaging you and/or your work to make you look bad, makes them shine in comparison. Taking out the competent competition at any cost is an effective tactic for the workplace bully. New hires at work always get the once-over by the workplace bully who can quickly evaluate the new employee’s potential to offer real value to the company organization. The newbies are easier to take out prior to establishing themselves and creating relationships. Inexperienced or older employees are also potential workplace prey.
If you are popular, successful and are well liked, you will find yourself a potential target, especially if the bully is lacking in self esteem or social status. Anyone who is more attractive, talented, has a natural inclination to be respected or celebrated by peers is seen as a potential threat and must be “taught a lesson.” If you’re getting attention – attention that the bully feels he or she is more entitled to – then, you may be at risk of becoming his or her next victim. They feel as though, if they cannot be the recipient of such attention, no one else will either… Not for long, anyway.
Intolerance fuels the fire of the predatory bully who sets out to humiliate anyone who does not share similar values or lifestyles as the bully. Folks that maintain high moral values and integrity are likely to become targets. Why? Because the bully cannot accomplish such feats or live an integrous life. The only way to make themselves look better is to force the perceived, “better than thou” target to fail (or at least to make them look the fool or failure to anyone that might be appreciative of their authentic integrity). These “goody goodies” also make outstanding targets because they are less likely to defend themselves, retaliate or fight back if attacked.
Let’s face it, these predators are small-minded and poor examples of being anything to aspire to become, but they are very effective at what they do best: decimating their victims. They harbor deep-seated inadequacies and jealousy that create their need to destroy others as the only means they know of to make themselves feel (or look) better.
More often than not, bullies do possess the talent and skills to be massively successful without aggressively laying waste to anyone or anything that stands in their way, if they could only use their powers for good, but their ego, insecurity and envious nature overrides the thought of doing the work necessary with their integrity intact.
People who know me today have no idea how shy and reserved I was throughout my early years. Life being what it is, I was invited to learn how to act as if I was not shy in certain situations, enabling me to thrive while others looked on. Now, no one could imagine my being shy, though I am still that shy young man inside, I am able to carry myself as though I am not.
If you’re like me, there is hope for you, too. Keep in mind that being shy is not a bad thing. In fact, just like these massively successful shy people, it can be your superpower. Like these celebrities, learning how to harness your presence in a way to not let your shyness hinder your potential is of great benefit in all that you do.
First of all, you have to understand that people who are looking at you are not as critical as you might think (this is a common misconception among shy people). While no one is suggesting that you not be shy at all, you will gain much self esteem and confidence from being able to master your shyness so that others need not even think that you are a shy person.
This gives you great confidence in challenging circumstances, and while you may have said, “Oh, I could never do that,” in the past, as you become more adept at controlling your public persona, you will find many opportunities unfolding before you as you hone your skills. Things that may have seemed impossible before, now are worth considering as potential possibilities.
This will take a degree of concerted effort on your part, just like I had to do, but know that it is so worth it.
Here are 7 techniques you can practice on how to overcome shyness:
1. Feel Great
Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud, “I feel great! I feel great! I feel great!” Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times every day until it’s ingrained into your subconscious mind. If you feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.
2. Look the Part
Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. Feel good about yourself. On its own, just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with those who see you in your day to day life, there are things about you that are worth getting to know.
3. Act the Part
We’re all pretty good at putting on our individual cloak of invisibility. I use a modeling technique where I put on an invisible cloak of the personality traits that I need to have for the situation at hand. I think of it as if I was hired as an actor to act out a part in front of cameras and/or a live audience. Before I go on stage, I simply don my cloak of the character I will be playing and proceed to play the part to the best of my ability. When I am finished, I can put the cloak away (which may be after the event, off-camera, depending on the circumstance) and re-charge myself from any stress or strain that may have been subdued during my performance.
4. Take Risks
Take a risk at least once a day. I encouraged my friends to dare me to do something they were afraid to do. It’s very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There’s nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.
5. Consider Disclosure
When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you’re shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.
Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty – say so – and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.
If you are finding yourself uncomfortable in a public speaking-type of venue, just announce that you are uncomfortable and inexperienced in the beginning and ask for people to consider not judging too harshly because you are so passionate, you want to share your message regardless of your public presentation expertise. They will honor your ability to take on such a challenge and listen more intently.
6. Reject Fear of Rejection
Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of whom you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.
7. Take Action
Engage in activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, dance, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons.
Volunteer for activities that you feel like you’re just too shy to consider. Practice, practice, practice. Do something that excites you and may feel a little risky.
Exploring things that you are passionate about or give you a sense of excitement is a great antidote for shyness.
We are unique life forms on this planet, with the ability to conduct incredible internal processes of thinking and maintaining energetic connections and we are so blessed to be able to exchange thoughts and ideas with each other via interpersonal communication. While we are learning that everything living (and elemental, which does not appear to be alive) maintains an energetic communicative connection, we possess an expanded capability for maintaining connection and communication via language and conversational speech which increases our ability to have even more meaningful relationships.
The ability to converse one with another brings the world together, and when I meet someone from India in Las Vegas and we can easily communicate because we speak the same language, the idea that “it’s a small world after all” resonates so clearly in that moment.
With the proliferation of cell phones and their ability to exchange texts and images, our ability to communicate via the spoken word is diminishing. It might be time to review what your cell phone use says about you and consider reaching out to others in the 3-D world, it doesn’t take much effort at all.
If you look up from your phone, you might be surprised to see the myriad of opportunities available to practice your gift and skills of conversation with another human being, even though the tendency is to look up from the phone and avoid connecting with another person, even if it means fake texting or communication via your phone (fubbing).
I mean, you could practice your skills of verbal communication with inanimate objects, like (and you might have to start there, or you already be talking to your) stuffed animals, trees or rocks but they’re unlikely to respond to you in conversation. If they do, that is a conversation of a different type we can talk about later. And while you can talk to your dog, cat or other pet, it is still unlikely you will be able to hone your skills of interactive communication much.
So, think about putting your phone away and look around. I was in line at the store yesterday, and everyone in line was on their phone except for a young man with an armload of spinach. I might not have even noticed the boy if I was engrossed in my phone waiting for my turn to pay the cashier for my groceries. It turns out he was an 11-year-old grandson, running errands for his grandmother so that he could earn money to get a new video game. When I mentioned that he and I were the only people in line without phones, he said the only reason he wasn’t on his was because it was in his pocket and his hands were full with spinach for his grandma.
You could spark a two-way communication with as little as a, “Hello,” spoken to another person, though you run the risk of being snubbed (or fubbed) if the person is on their cell phone. It can be difficult to break through to interactive verbal communication with someone who has developed a dependency with their phone.
How does this happen? It starts with having the basic need of feeling connected to other human beings, so we text someone, comment or post a status update on social media. When we get a response, view, like or share, a shot of Dopamine is administered to our nervous system which makes us feel good. The feel good part is good but the downside of Dopamine is that along with it comes a craving, a need to have more. This is how Cocaine, or any other addiction, works inside our physiology.
Thankfully, reaching out via interactive verbal communication does not carry with it the same addictive quality but does satisfy our need for connection, so it might be worth giving it a go. If you try it, you might like it.
Try taking advantage of the many opportunities you have each day to strike up an organic conversation with someone you pass by on the street, or have a bit of fun with the cashier at the checkout stand. I love watching the expression of cashiers who are surprised to have someone actually try to engage in a brief conversation while they are trying to conduct their business in a trance state. Often their job requires they greet you as part of their compulsory duties, little or no response is necessary or expected. It breaks them right out of their trance when you respond with a complete sentence, or better yet a question. Try this live, unrehearsed organic form of entertainment… plus you will have connected with someone (even if only briefly) and may have even lightened someone’s workload that day.
While it is difficult to compete with the addictive qualities of our electronic devices, finding healthy ways to reach out in organic conversation can help enrich the quality of your life and potentially have a positive impact on the life of someone else.
The key is in the doing of it. Simply decide to start small. Leave your phone in your car while you shop. It will be there when you get back. This is a good place to start, to see if it makes you more aware of the real world full of people looking to feel connection (not the superficial faux-connection offered by our electronic devices) and connect a little bit. Just see if you can make eye contact, smile and say, “Hi.” You can feel the connection, even if that’s all there is to it.
You can ramp up the intensity, if you dare, by finding something about them (or what’s in their basket) to comment or compliment them on. If they take the bait, now you’re exercising your ability to engage in organic conversation. Congratulations.
To increase the quality of your organic conversation, think about engaging the energy of your heart in the communication process. If you have a general feeling that you have concern and/or genuinely care about the person you are talking to, they will be able to feel it in your words. And if you can maintain eye contact and pause to intently listen to their words as they speak, this intensifies the connection even more.
All it takes is a little practice and, who knows? You may find yourself not bringing your cell phone to restaurants or meetings. The possibilities are endless.
We are the only life form on this planet with the ability to experience real connection in face to face interactions with organic conversation. Let’s not let technology take it away.
Are you ready for a better life?
If you are ready for a living a better life, you may find yourself asking yourself questions, like these:
1. What do I want?
When you’re reviewing your life, you may discover that you’re somewhat disappointed and you may think back to a time when you knew what you wanted, but have been overcome and overburdened by life to give it much thought lately.
Still, the day comes when you look around and realize that the life you are living does not represent what you want. So, what do you do?
Recall, record and get in tune with what you want. There is still time to get what you want, if you are willing to take action to line up your desires with your reality.
2. Should I change?
Am I the person I wanted to be? At the risk of being accused of morbidity, think about what your obituary might say about the kind of person you are today. Is that how you want to be remembered?
Oftentimes we hide the real identity of who we are deep inside ourselves, not allowing others to fully see us out of fear. Fear of not being accepted or honored for who we are. Fear of abuse or rejection.
Growth necessitates change. Maybe now is the time to readjust your life, how you live your life, integrate with others and offer value to the greater community.
With a pure heart, think about practices you can add to your life, the things you can do, that will impact the way others see you.
3. What’s the hidden treasure?
With hindsight being 20/20, looking back at your life can be an amazing adventure. If you’re able to look back at life’s situations and circumstance – especially the most difficult ones – you can find the hidden treasures buried beneath the surface of any negative experience.
No difficulty in life is experienced where there is not some hidden message or learning to be gained from the experience. Though it may not seem true in the moment, from a future vantage point you may have the wherewithal to see the data clearly enough to extrapolate the precious hidden treasure.
4. Do I love what I’m doing?
Living a passionate life in congruency with doing what you love to do is where life’s greatest satisfaction is found.
If you desire to live your best life, then you need to start doing the things you love and continue to do more and more of the things you love and less and less of the things that do not bring you joy.
Find ways to increase the doing of the things that bring you the greatest amount of pleasure, and outsource the things you’d rather not be doing, exponentially increasing your quality of life.
5. Do I love my life?
If you love your life, you often find yourself in a state of happiness and joy. You find yourself optimistically waking up each day with anticipation of what each new day will bring.
The more you find the best things in life permeating each and every day, the more goodness and things to be grateful for are attracted to the various moments of each day.
You get to set the tone for the day, so start each day with a smile on your face and say out loud, “I love my life!” and make it so.
6. Am I loved?
Love covers so many aspects of your life and (whether you’re willing to admit it or not) you desire to be loved. Do you feel loved?
Do your family, friends and peers love you? What about your significant other, or your children? Do you feel as though they really love you?
If you’re single, are you attracting the love you want?
The best way to have the love you want is to love others, like you would like to be loved. It sounds risky because you may have to be vulnerable and you might get hurt (yes, you may) but it will be worth it as you begin to receive the love you bestow upon others.
7. When is it my turn?
You may have found yourself always in the service of others, willing you sacrifice your own wants, needs and desires for the greater good.
Begrudgingly making your way through life self-sacrificially, as benevolent as it may be, is not your highest and best. You know you work and attention to others has been a worthy effort. Consider you are worthy of your reward.
Ask yourself, if now is the right time to start focusing more on the things that bring you happiness?
8. Do I want more?
Invariably, we find ourselves disappointed with our station in life, regardless of whether you live modestly or extravagantly, dissatisfaction is common, leaving us wanting more.
In many cases we find ourselves feeling as though we are undeserving, or unable to afford the things we desire, but nothing is further from the truth.
You can have whatever you want. Others are doing it who have fewer resources than you at this very moment.
That doesn’t mean to be irresponsible about it, taking out a second mortgage or pawning your wedding rings. No. Instead investigate and consider using the Law of Attraction to bring the things that you desire into your life without the sociological or financial trappings of debt accumulation.
Find ways to have all that you want out of your life’s abundance.
9. What turns me on?
What are those things by which you are enthusiastically motivated?
Make more time for the things that thrill and excite you. No need to rush off and try to do everything at once, just find or make opportunities to engage in those things that light your fire of enthusiasm.
10. What is my secret desire?
If you’re like me (and the rest of us on paths to live better lives) you have a secret desire, one that has been tucked away in the deepest recesses of your heart for some time, if not for your whole life.
You may have thought it not possible, you may have felt unworthy, but if you are reading these words and have the breath of life within you, there is still time.
Your secret desire is begging you to be realized and it’s up to you to bring it to life.
You’re asking the questions
You know the answers
And let today be the first day of the best of your life
Why Do Lovers Lie?
When you enter into a committed relationship, an evolution takes place. As time goes on couples experience a metamorphosis as each of the participants grows and changes interdependently. Though they may be “one flesh” in the utmost romantic sense, they are still separate individuals both trying to do the best they can with what they have.
The only thing that truly bonds a couple together is the level of integrity and trust they have one for the other. If we can trust impeccably, be open and honest, we have the main ingredients of a highly successful and long lasting love life together. For if we do not have trust, what do we have?
As each lover evolves, there may be moments in time when they may be out of sync with their counterpart. What then?
Do you say, “This isn’t working for me; see ya,” as you depart with little concern for the former mate left behind?
Or do you lie and say, “I love you. Everything’s okay. You mean the world to me, nothing could come between us.”
Relationships are hard and no matter how we try to establish hard and fast rules for relationships, it is nearly impossible to have textbook answers for every conceivable scenario. We, as human beings, are far too complex for that.
While there are liars who selfishly lie to the extreme (we call them pathological liars) without regard to others (even if it appears to not be necessary to lie at all), alternatively we are talking about compassionate liars cohabitating in the space somewhere within the bounds of love.
While being totally open and honest are vastly important in relationships, being too open and honest can easily render a relationship null and void. Sometimes in a long term romance, the ability to lie is not only warranted, but may be a necessary component of romantic survivability.
Indeed, a long-term successful and loving relationship between two people consists or a delicate balance between truthfulness and deceit. Just ask any individual alone and off-camera who is part of a successful couple that has enjoyed a state of relationship bliss for many years what is the secret to their long-standing love affair? The answer (if conveyed honestly) will reference the delicate balance between truth and lies.
Why lie in a loving relationship?
For the sake of the big picture, in a selfless effort to preserve all that is sacred in a relationship, the occasion may (and often will) arise when the importance and reverence for the relationship exceeds the need to assert an opinion, fact or truth which might cause harm to the sacredness of the couple’s bond. Thereby justifying a bit of tale-telling to ease past what might have been a difficult situation that may have compromised the relationship or led to its dissolution altogether.
Let’s assume for a moment that the emotional spectrum of a relationship spans from love and acceptance on one end and anger and judgment on the other. Lovers often balance delicate of critical issues by where the consequence will end up on this spectrum. The unbridled truth may end up putting the relationship at risk by hurling it all the way into anger and judgment, while a love lie might not put the relationship at risk at all.
We learned this method of mitigating emotional-charged relationships in our youth. Where the truth may have sent our parents into a fury-filled emotional outburst with negative results, a little lie would sidestep the darkness and pain of disappointment and or impending punishment, and all was well.
I’m not saying it’s wrong or right. No two relationships can possibly be compared and everyone needs to find their own way. These types of “love lies” for the most part will go by completely unnoticed, except in the instances where the deception is interrupted by the otherwise naïve other lover. If we are honest, we would all admit that we do this to some degree without intent of malice.
In fact, we may tell a love lie because we love, honor and respect our mate so much, that we might do or say anything in support of the other and increase our love one for the other, even though our heart may not be totally vested at that particular moment in time. In most cases the love lie goes unnoticed and a greater love prevails.
When the one of the lovers discovers a love lie unawares, the couple needs to address the issue of the existence of this kind of deceit within the relationship. Each couple will have their own unique strategy for dealing with these types of inconsistencies.
The hardest road of all for a couple to attempt to maintain is that of complete and utter honesty regardless of the feelings of the other lover. In some cases this can work, but it takes a unique chemistry between two individuals who can manage such a relationship for long.
This is the emotional high road that if navigated correctly, with love and tolerance, without anger or judgment , we simply accept things as they are and allow each other to be without taking the unbridled truth personally or as an assault to be defended against.
For the rest of us, we try to set and manage boundaries for truth and honesty and believe that our love will survive the test of time, if we truly honor and value each other and the relationship as a whole.
You’ve come to that point in your life where you know things have got to change for you to start living the life you want to live. You’re starting to change your thought processes, you’re getting more in tune with your heart and life’s purpose. This new sense of meaning creates an empowered perspective as you continue to find ways to optimize your human experience while you are here in the third dimension on planet earth.
As you make the necessary adjustments in your life, you’re living a better life and every change you make lights the way for new changes to allow as you evolve into the new, more advanced and enlightened version of yourself. Your attention is drawn to your reflection in the mirror.
While you’re feeling better than ever and your countenance has a certain glow about it, you’re thinking you’ve been given charge of your body, this earthly vessel referred to as the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) and you begin to think, “I could do better,” as you contemplate a healthier approach to honoring your earth suit.
If you’re like me (the author of Don’t Diet or Exercise) you may be somewhat resistant to the idea of exercising and eating right. While the New Year looms only days away, you consider looking for ways to enhance your fitness as your challenge of the year.
Looking over the vast array of a hugely monetary-infused industry, everyone has a different spin on what it takes to live healthy.
As my gift to you, I will demystify the healthy living challenge by reducing it to its simplest and most brief process, as follows:
Unfortunately, this is where you have to start, but it doesn’t have to be as brutal as it might sound if you’re contemplating exercise for the first time.
Question: What can you expect from adding a little exercise to your weekly regimen? Answer: Increased energy, cognitive abilities, fat-burning weight loss and longevity, just to name a few.
In an effort to get right down to it, all you really have to do to optimize your health is to exercise and eat right. In term of exercise all you need is 20 to 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and 20 to 25 minutes of resistance training four times per week.
As far as the diet portion of your optimal health program for the next year, all you need to remember is this:
- Drink at least eight 8-oz. glasses of water during the day
- Eat numerous tiny meals (optimally four) and a couple of small snacks during the day
- Limit your fat ingestion to no more than what’s essential for sufficient flavor
Balance your meals by including
- palm-sized portions of proteins
- fist-sized portions of complex carbohydrates
- fist-sized portions of vegetables and fruits
Don’t Overdo It
No need to jump in over your head, just start with baby steps at the shallow end and work your way more and more into achieving your exercise and eating goals. Just start small and increase a little each week, or month, instead of overwhelming yourself all at once.
What to expect
Weeks 1-8: Feeling better and having more energy
Month 2-6: Losing inches and becoming leaner. Clothes fit better as you gain muscle and lose fat.
After 6 months: Losing weight more rapidly, looking and feeling better than ever.
The least we can ever expect of ourselves and the most we could ever expect from anyone else is the idea that we are all doing the best we can with what we have. After all, we’re all in this life together, each of us doing the best we can and you are the best you can be.
One can’t help but look around and notice that some people seem to be doing a little better with their share than others. Aren’t we all born with the same inalienable rights? Most of us are fortunate to have the same number of limbs, fingers and toes. We all have the same potential for achieving our highest and best, yet for some it appears to be easier to achieve goals than others.
Any of us, regardless of family, fortune, sense of entitlement – or the lack thereof – can at any moment decide to live a better life. A life focused on maximizing our individual potential and achieving heightened states of satisfaction, well being, love and happiness.
If you choose to, you can be one of the growing numbers of individuals taking action to make their lives better and even affect our communities and the world at large in a positive way. If you’re one of us, you’re mindful about what the future holds while taking the steps necessary to protect, preserve and enhance the life you are living each day, living your life on your own terms.
While making your own way is your primary motivation, you honor those who have gone before and are making their own way at the same time. Respectfully admiring others who are also making progress along the way (those who may be steps or miles ahead of you) without jealousy raises your personal vibration, allowing you to make better progress in less time.
This is why we monitor and celebrate the successes of others achieving their highest any best. Not just because it encourages them to achieve even more, but it also impacts the way we see our potential increasing before our very eyes. And if we’re listening closely, we may even discover insights from others, making our individual journeys more efficient, less prone to the missteps of others who have preceded us on the path to whatever we desire to achieve.
Hidden deep within the recess of your heart is everything you need to achieve your highest and best, and if you listen, you can hear its harkening to you, encouraging you, taunting you, daring you to take the challenge of breaking away from the mediocre and mundane to launch toward the massively magnificent future that waits just beyond the veil; the veil that society has tried to hardwire within you to keep you from seeing the possibilities, the gifts and treasures that were meant for you to enjoy fully.
As you listen, this still small voice grows and becomes more reasonable as you consider this may be the life that you had intended to live from the beginning and you ponder the idea that your life may have meaning and purpose… and yes, you do; if you only knew.
So, you take action. A step – possibly a very small step – or a succession of steps and you begin to feel like. “Yes, this is really possible.” You keep moving. And you may even challenge yourself by setting a goal. It could be any goal, lose five pounds, make the bed, take a shower every day, or save twenty dollars a week, etc. It doesn’t really matter, you set a goal (whatever it is) and you achieve it.
You realize – in real time – that you are the master of your fate. If you could set one simple goal and see it through to completion, you come to the realization that you are the creator of your own life. You no longer have to reside yourself to just being a cog in the machine of life, you are beginning to understand you are in control, as your life’s purpose is beckoning you to grasp firmly and keep advancing.
You already know what it’s like to live a life devoid of meaning or purpose. Life loses its flavor, relationships are acceptable pieces of a mediocre life and nothing seems to satisfy any desire for accomplishment. You start to feel as though nothing good could come from your professional endeavors – no matter how hard you try – or from interpersonal relationships. Little turns out like you planned and even if it did, it just doesn’t seem to be all you thought it should have been. Any reward for your life’s accomplishment(s) just do not hold the shine that you expected and you ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”
Not to worry, it’s not your fault. Even though society doesn’t want you to realize it, you’re considering the truth of the matter. Your life – the life you live every day with all its qualities, challenges and confusion – is a direct result of the vibration of your projected energy field which is energized by your thought process. This electromagnetic field attracts the life that is a perfect match to your personal vibration.
The good news is you can change your vibration by changing your thoughts, thereby attracting a completely different kind of life.
This is the basis of the awakening which permeates the societal underground as one by one we start to understand there is so much more to this life than we were led to believe. You are realizing the whole, “get a good education so you can get a good job, married, a mortgage, raise a family, retire and enjoy your golden years” thing is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Now you’re coming around to the understanding of finding and following your life’s purpose is not only satisfying but so enjoyable as you align your life for a more significant and meaningful life, where each day is full of exciting opportunities to advance even further as you gravitate toward all the good things this life has to offer.
You’re not settling for second best or allowing anyone else to dictate the life you will live, and you understand that everyone else is, like you, only doing the best they can with what they have. You don’t need them to follow you along your path as you encourage them to find their own way, enjoy the moments (if any) where your paths intersect along the way.
Life is not a destination but a journey; your journey.
Listen to your heart, it will guide you along the way as you embrace your purpose and sing your song, enjoying a far more satisfying life and making the world a better place.
Why do I have a tendency to self destruct? Am I my own worst enemy? Why am I so self destructive? What is wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?
It’s not just President Trump who has the power to destroy the world with the push of a button, we all have this power to destroy worlds within our own universe and bring the end of the world as we know it.
Sometimes, we burn bridges, pour gas on people whom we feel have wronged us, light the match and walk away. Occasionally we hit the self-destruct button or just nuke the whole shebang.
Why you would do such a thing is beyond me, and years of therapeutic process may (or may not) help to uncover the roots of one’s self destructive behavior.
Am I immune from having a tendency to self destruct? No, I don’t think anyone is immune from some form of self sabotage.
Regrettably, I’ve dropped a few bombs myself. I think we all do it when we’ve felt hurt, betrayed or disrespected. When your feelings are hurt, striking out in self defense seems like the best option at the time, so you hit the button… and in that moment, you feel better about yourself.
You feel better than feeling hurt when you’ve struck back. You might even feel really good… for a while.
You might even feel like your life will be so much better without this-or-that in your life at all, so you rationalize total decimation is not only warranted but acceptable or preferable. You are happy you pushed the button.
In the case of physical abuse, certainly methods of isolating yourself from others in a way that prevents further abuse are worth contemplating.
Do you have to destroy everything?
This is an important question to ask yourself before you push the button. When you’re considering lighting a match, pulling the trigger, pushing the button or dropping a bomb, asking yourself,
What are the far reaching effects of this destruction?
May be worth the momentary pause or distraction before you launch your attack (or counter attack), even if for consideration for the briefest of moments.
Oftentimes, the actions that we take – especially those actions conducted in the heat of the moment – do not serve us well in the long-run. At some time following the taking of such an action, we begin to realize this, start to feel bad (remorse), possibly even guilt, sorrow or depression.
We find ourselves struggling with our decision to lash out, often in ways that are irreparable as the damage was done, ever so effectively. What felt like self-defense at the time often leads to self destruction.
Is there a better way?
Yes. Self preservation is important. It is likely that you are the only person who is going to truly protect you or seek to defend who you are or what you believe. When it comes down to it, you’re all you’ve got.
So for god’s sake don’t do more harm than good.
Wisdom based on history and viewed through the eyes of love would dictate that in most (if not all) cases war is not the best option. Seeking inoffensive ways to protect one’s self are far more prudent and effective over time.
It’s hard to find balance between revenge and tolerance when our feelings are hurt or our ego is running amok.
Nonetheless, it is in these moments that we must find ways to retreat, find a place of solace or sanctuary, allowing us the repose necessary to ask the questions, “Is this destruction necessary?” and “What are the far-reaching implications?”
From a peaceful perspective and/or contemplative state, you may be willing to consider other options as you ask, “Is this truly in my best interest?”
Will this action lead to regret or self-destruction, or am I achieving my highest and best?
Is this my highest and best?
This is the life-affirming bottom line. If you are on a path to achieve your highest and best, is the action you are about to take helping you to stay on the high road, or have you somehow become derailed and are headed down a path leading to self destruct?
If there is any way possible, take the time to pause, re-evaluate and get back on track before you say or do something that you can’t take back.
You’ve loved and you’ve lost. Sometimes you suffer the most incredible loss of all: A loved one has passed on to the other side and you’ve been left behind.
There is no greater pain of separation. Familiar songs, scenic moments, thousands of triggers immediately smash through your heart and you can feel the blood flowing out of your life, crippling you as you drop to your knees in despair.
There is no darker or lonelier place to be as you are overcome with the thoughts crashing through your mind, the lost opportunities, things left unsaid and an endless repertoire of if onlies…
And no time of year is worse than the holiday season, when songs, shows and sounds instantly take you back to this dark place causing your heart to dissolve into hopeless nothingness, as it becomes never more apparent than this moment in time when may have never felt so abandoned and alone.
Yet, amidst all this pain of separation, your loved one is reaching out to you with everything they can, to let you know
You Are Never Alone
You are never alone and your loved one is not that far away.
If you could hear what they are trying to tell you, you could understand they have never been so happy and they do not feel the sense of loss that you feel because they are always with you. In fact, they’ve never loved you more than they do now, because on the other side they have an unlimited capacity to love, care about you and enjoy every breath you take and every move you make as they walk alongside you every step of the way.
It’s so hard for us to wrap our heads around such an idea because all we can feel is the pain of separation, yet nothing is further from the truth.
If you could just allow your attention to shift to the perspective of your loved one, you would see such a different scene.
You would see your happy, healthy loved one looking their best and feeling better than possible in the dimension where we live our lives. They are free to walk alongside us, see everything, all the while loving us more deeply than ever. Sharing every moment.
Occasionally, they are overwhelmed by your sense of separation and take you in the most heartfelt loving embrace, loving you and every cell of your being. You can’t see them, but they find ways to signal this loving embrace to you the only way they can.
A song comes on the radio, you find yourself in familiar surroundings, you hear their name, or think you hear their voice saying your name, the phone rings and there’s no one there, or a million other possible signs trigger a massive, overwhelming feeling deep within your soul.
And you are loved, so loved that it is unfathomable and not knowing otherwise, the only sense you can make of it is that you have been painfully left behind but you are loved, loved more than ever before.
But it all gets lost in translation because though they can see us, we cannot see them.
If you could just allow it for a moment, the next time you feel this overwhelming sense of feeling coming on, try to see the even through the eyes of your loved one.
If you’re like me, your tears of desperation change instantly to tears of admiration and joy as you are so grateful for your loved one reaching out and loving you in such a miraculous cross-dimensional manner.
Have something to say? They already know, but they are listening right now. Take this time to say it, they’re listening and loving you, waiting to hear your words.
Love and life keep getting better and even more amazing if you would just allow it.
If you’re allowing, here it comes…