Raise Your Love Vibration

Everything you experience in life is a direct result of – and attractive response to – your personal vibration. You can raise your love vibration. Your heart’s energy field emits a frequency which is always a perfect match to what you experience in the 3-D world where we live.

Many of us struggle with the idea that our love life has little to do with ourselves and more to do with the people whom we have invited (or who have imposed themselves) into our love lives and assume the role of a victim of love resulting in our broken hearts. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

Reduced to its simplest form, you attract love interests which are a perfect match to your love vibration or frequency. If you want to change the kind of lover you are attracting, change your love frequency.

Change Your Love Frequency

So, how do you change your love frequency?

You can change your love frequency, or vibration, by making adjustments in the way that you live your life and interact with others. Your love vibration is based on a combination of how you love yourself and how your love is expressed to others.

Fortunately, this is not as freakishly spiritual or “Woo woo” as it might sound (though there are hundreds, if not thousands of esoteric ways to accomplish a similar result). Lucky for you, there are 20 very basic practical adjustments that you can make to your life that can have a significant impact on your love vibration.

Here are 10 fundamental areas of your life you can tweak to change your love frequency:

1 Eat: Nutritious foods, avoid junk food and sugar. Eat when hungry and stop when satiated
2 Move: Get some exercise, take a walk, ride a bike, go to the gym
3 Organize: Keep your work and home environments clean and systemetized
4 Sleep: Get adequate rest and sleep, even consider taking a nap
5 Take Out the Trash: The media trash, that is. Limit your exposure to negative news, literature and conversation
6 Work and Play: Create a balance between work and recreation. Make sure you have time to complete work-related tasks, as well as time to learn, play, create or do nothing at all, if you like
7 Support System: Create a supportive environment of good people who love and care about you
8 Time Management: Be more conscious about how you manage your time. Arrive to meetings, appointments and events on time, paying bills on time, etc.
9 Love Yourself: Decide to practice self-care, be compassionate with yourself, without judgment or beating yourself up with negative self-talk
10 Balance: Create a balance between time spent alone and with others

Here are 10 ideas to affect changing your love vibration/frequency as it relates to others:

1 Kindness: Be kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
2 Edify: Resist putting others down. Lift them up with words of encouragement.
3 Supportive: Be less selfish, or automatically resisting what another wants from you. Be supportive, respectful and play nice.
4 Affirmative: Say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes.
5 Martyrdom: No more self-sacrificing, or just going along with something you don’t want to do.
6 Represent: Maintain your own sense of self without trying to change or control others.
7 Truth: Speak your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable. Take action for yourself based on your truth.
8 Stance: Take personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim or making others responsible for how you feel.
9 Tolerance: Accept your lack of control over others, accepting them as who they are without judgment.
10 Balance: Create a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.

Integrating these 20 tweaks to your life will raise your love vibration and help to attract the love you desire.

You can quickly and easily raise your love vibration by joining me in this brief Raise Your Love Vibration Meditation.

See also: Raise Your Love Vibration to Love and Above

 

How to Heal a Broken Heart

Heartbreak can be one of the darkest and most painful of emotional states. One who suffers from a broken heart can experience sever physiological pain, such as being punched in the gut and may lead to a sinking sense of helplessness and/or clinical depression. If you’ve ever suffered from a tragic loss, you already know why it’s important to understand how to heal a broken heart.

When undertaking the healing of a broken heart, there is no quick fix. Especially if you’re suffering deeply seated trauma with gut wrenching pain, healing your broken heart will take some time for the process to lead to a healthy recovery, but there are steps you can take to relieve the pain and stress of your loss.

As a natural process of healing from a broken heart, like any Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), time heals all wounds. So be patient and consider the following tips to help overcome both the psychological and physiological pain and discomfort from your broken heart.

1. Cry

You are going to feel like crap for the first few weeks. Depending how emotional of a person you are, you may feel like crying for days. Go ahead.

A significant change has occurred in your life; a painful change. There is no way to expect that you will feel a little sadness and be able to shut it off with a switch. It’s just not that simple.

Allow yourself to grieve for your loss. But not too long! Staying in the past for too long can only hurt you. See tip number 5.

2. Love Balloon Therapy

The Love Balloon Method is an effective method to mitigate the emotional pain associated with your broken heart.

This process only takes a few minutes and can supply you with the pain relief and wherewithal to give you the cognition to move toward healthy healing, while retaining the learning associated with the relationship and/or events which led to your broken heart.

3. Talk to Someone Close

Use the shoulder of someone who cares about you to get out your feelings. This is a way to purify your soul by letting someone in to share your pain. Let them listen, comfort you, and offer advice. You don’t necessarily have to take that advice, but sharing this comfort can make you feel better.

Make sure you only allow yourself to grieve and lean on someone for a time because you need to move forward.

4. Distract Yourself

Bring friends you care about back into your life. Maybe having the relationship was keeping you from spending time with your parents, or siblings. Maybe you hadn’t talked to your best friend in weeks. Surround yourself with this support network.

Getting things that need to be done around the house done is a great way to get lost in a project. Go to the gym. Organize your closet. Get out and take a walk.

Distracting yourself is a great stepping stone to moving on with your life. This brings us to tip number 5.

5. Look toward the Future; Forget the Past

Once you have allowed yourself the indulgence of grieving for a part of your life that is now past, look forward!

You need to be able to live a better life – your best life – and make the world a better place.

Now that you are past the sadness and anger, it is time for hope and renewal that will help you to move on.

Take time out for yourself; get to know yourself as a single individual instead of as part of a couple.

Replenish your soul by becoming you again.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

Map It Out and Do It

Today’s the day you’ve decided to take action and start living a better life. You’ve thought about it, even talked about it but today is the day your entire being, body, soul and spirit, is aligned with the idea of actually taking the action necessary to life a different, wildly meaningful life and contributing to making the world a better place as you humbly differentiate yourself from who you were yesterday.

Taking action unlocks the door to your new life.

What are you going to do?

Today’s the day, but what are you going to do to start living your new life? Then, after you’ve done it, what will you do after that? What about tomorrow or the next day?

While taking action has gotten you through the doorway to your new life, having a detailed plan is the map keeping you on track, getting you from where you are to where you want to be.

You’re taking action and each step (or action) that you take moves you a little closer to the life you desire. Every step is cumulative and moves you closer to where you want to be – if – the step you’re taking is in the direction of what you want. Steps taken this way, or that, are steps taken and are not without value, as these missteps often have meaning, education and knowledge that can be used when you resume your journey to your new life. Taking deliberate steps focused on moving you closer to your destination gets you there more rapidly.

Having a map is an invaluable tool in navigating your life, keeping in mind that you must allow your internal GPS allow for recalculating based on new information as it becomes available along the way. So, if you’re ready (and I know you are) let’s get to mapping out your journey.

Reduced to its simplest form, your map is based on my grandfather’s formula:

What You Want + What You Do = What You Get

Let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to start), according to grandpa’s formula, you need to know what you want.

What Do You Want?

Doesn’t really matter what you want, long as you know what it is. Whatever your destination is from losing 20 pounds to accumulating a million (or a billion) dollars, and everything in between, you must know where you’re going and have an idea about when you’d like to get there.

By knowing when you want what you want helps to make your thought more real as you move toward it and it begins to materialize. The “when” offers you periodic intervals to review your progress and can keep your observation skills honed on clues to see indications that you are nearing your destination. Without an estimated time of arrival (ETA), you could wander endlessly and be lucky if you ever arrived at all.

Once you have a clear idea about where you want to be and when, write it down. You have to take the idea from the invisible ethers and invite it into your 3D world by delineating it on paper. You can do it on your computer, but I think it’s better to create a physical map that you can hold in your hands as part of the conversion from thought to real world, as well as having a copy on your other devices, so that you can have access to it at any time on any device.

Now that you have a starting point and an ending point on your map, you can chunk your when into manageable sections, that can be reviewed and adjustments made if necessary along the way. Let’s say you wanted to lose 20 pounds in five weeks. Divided into weekly chunks, that would be a weight loss goal of four pounds per week. Every week you can weigh in and see where you are in comparison to where you want to be and decide whether celebration or buckling-down is more prudent for you for the next week.

[Wk 1: 4 LBS] – [Wk 2: 8 LBS] – [Wk 3: 12 LBS] – [Wk 4: 16 LBS] – [Wk 5: 20 LBS]

With manageable chunks or mile markers, you can have maps between each to optimize your advancement along the way. In this example, you might specify a particular diet plan each week to keep your weight loss goals moving the way that you want.

In this manner, each week could have a daily list of things to do to accomplish your goals along the way, such as eating meals of a particular content at specific times with healthy snacks in between and a 20 minute exercise break. At the end of every day you can review your daily progress and celebrate when you’ve successfully completed your daily to-dos, as well as each week’s celebration – including rewards for achievement – for meeting your goals.

Your commitment in the doingness – or taking action – to follow your map will assure you arrive at your destination. Keep moving and maintain a positive attitude. Use whatever skills and tools you have access to in making your dream come true. Use your imagination to visualize you, celebrating at the end of the road. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, smell like and taste like?

Keep On Keepin’ On

Keep it moving. Don’t let nay sayers dissuade you, knock you down or derail your journey. This isn’t about anyone else but you. Certainly things will come up and thwart the best laid plans and intentions, but don’t let it get you down and by all means,

Don’t Quit

To be the hero in your own story, stay focused on the prize even in the face of adversity. No broken hearts or spirits are allowed (for long) decide, “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break-a my stride…” For god’s sake, don’t quit.

You got this.

Make a T Chart

A great method for determining what is in your best interest, using a T chart is an easy way to logically evaluate the weighing of pros and cons in any situation when making a decision and taking any particular resulting action may have far reaching results and/or consequences.

I use this method with my clients as well as in my personal life. It’s a good way to keep your linear wits about you when your heart and/or feelings may not be reporting proper resonance in the particular moment in time (which is one of my personal weaknesses).

Using a T chart is easy and can make all the difference both in the short run and the long run.

The only tools you need to use a T chart is a piece of paper and a writing instrument for weighing out the pros and cons of any situation, challenge or obstacle that you face.

On your piece of paper, simply draw one line across the top and a vertical line down the middle forming a T. On one side of the page list all the positives and on the other side the negatives. This can be immensely valuable when considering any upcoming action or decision that you might be facing.

Let’s say you’re offered a good job with benefits in another city and state requiring relocation. You proceed by drawing your T and writing “My New Job” at the top. On the left list the positives, on the right the negatives (or switch up left and right, whatever feels best to you). By reviewing your resulting lists, side-by-side, you are able to see which way you should lean in your decision-making process.

You could apply this method to anything such as

  • What would be the best kind of pet for me?
  • Where should I plan my next vacation?
  • Who should I spend my time with?
  • Where should I live?
  • What occupation is best for me?
  • How should I invest my money?
  • What should I do when facing a challenge?
  • How should I handle distractions?

The T chart is not the end-all-be-all in decision-making, it is only a tool used to evaluate and weigh the pros and cons in any given circumstance. It can also be used in other ways.

I used this method to create my Soul Mate List, where I utilized a T chart to review previous relationships.

The first list was a T chart consisting of all the things I didn’t like about my past romantic relationships, which I listed on the left-hand column. Then on the other side, opposite the negative items, I re-framed the negative into a positive attribute. For instance, if in the left-hand column it said, “Can’t be trusted,” opposite the negative statement, I would notate the positive virtue on the other side, like, “Can always be trusted.”

Using a T chart in this way helped me to re-frame and focus on the attributes I sincerely desired, not the negative ones which would only bring me more of the same.

Write the Greatest Love Story Ever

When you think about the greatest love stories of all time, certain love icons come to mind such as Romeo and Juliet, Lancelot and Guinevere, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra and Tristan and Isolde. While stories, like these, mesmerize the minds of many a lover over time to seek out relationship potentials similar to what are known as the greatest love stories, a closer look at these stories reveals they may not have been all they were cracked up to be and certainly are not really good examples of relationships to model in real life.

In case you haven’t noticed, the ends of these stories are more often than not terrifyingly tragic. Who wants to sign on for that? Don’t most of us lean more toward the idea of a happily ever after as a consequence of our greatest love of all time?

I think most of us could agree, if we were to write our own love story it would come to a glorious conclusion full of trustworthiness, faithfulness, shared vision, true love and happiness with a bit of adventure thrown in for flavor, leading to a happily ever after type of ending. This sounds much more appealing to me than those aforementioned heralded greatest love stories which did feature passionate love affairs (a necessary component to any tale of true love) but the story rapidly devolves into dysfunction and death not only of the love affair but the death of one or both of the lovers.

It is all so dramatic, as if the most sought-after love is so impossible that the only price to pay is to sacrifice one’s own life for hope of experiencing a brief passionate love. Really?

While we might reside ourselves to believe that God the Almighty writes the story which we all must follow or our fates are written in the stars, the truth of the matter is this:

You are the author of your own love story

So, you best start writing the love story that you want to experience. Your story can take a dramatic twist with the lover you are now engaged in a relationship with, or you can begin to attract the love you desire in any way you see fit as you are the author of your own love story.

First off, forget those famous love stories with all that drama leading to loss of life. This is your chance to write the perfect love story using characters already at your disposal or with an entirely new cast. The choice is yours.

You can write in all the passion and romance you’ve ever desired without all the drama. You can share a co-creative life experiencing all the best things this life has to offer and you can write the happiest of endings as you walk hand-in-hand into the sunset together in loving celebration of a life well lived.

To do justice to your new story, remember to retain the learning from your previous experiences without carrying the negative energy associated with your past. Though you may have gone through negative experiences keep in mind that these events were only put in your life to help you focus intently – not on what you don’t want (because that will only bring you more of the same) – on what you truly desire as you highest and best.

Start writing about your perfect lover; How will you meet? What will he or she look like? What will their life be like? What are the key characteristics to look for? So that when he or she appears in your life, you will know that he or she is the one based on the character study of your true love.

Keep in mind that while perfection may be too much to expect in this incarnation, allow room for characteristics which may be negotiable, while other may remain deal-breakers. Stay focused but have an open mind regarding the many possibilities which are even now approaching your horizon as you write.

Allow room in your story for unexpected changes and challenges as these lead to increasing the possibility of even greater love as you go through these experiences together, strengthening your bond and commitment. The key is to share the experience fully together, ready for any upset and able to do what is necessary to make it to the other side. What waits on the other side of these obstacles and challenges will exceed all your expectations for having the greatest love of all.

Your romance can – and should be – full of sustained enthusiastic joy and happiness. Happiness does not have to be a temporary state of mind, as you may have thought in the past or read about in other stories. You, as the author of your own true love story, have the advantage of holding the writing instrument firmly in your own hand, no one else is forcing you to write anything, write from your heart and continue to write until all your hopes and dreams begin to materialize.

When faced with a challenge, weigh all your options, make a decision based on what resonates with your heart and makes you feel good. What things are good, lovely, inspirational, expressing joy and happiness; use these criteria to base your decisions on.

In those love stories celebrated as the greatest, often includes betrayal as a key component which could affect your story in a negative manner. Your love interest need not be forbidden, in a relationship with someone else (even though there may be a degree of excitement associated with exercising a lurid affair), or promised to another. It may be in your best interest to attract someone who is authentically available and not involved with another. You can write your love interest as one who is pure and truly available to be yours and yours alone, if that is the true nature of your desire. This will assure a solid foundation for the fulfillment of your future love story.

Think on these things as you write your true love story and watch the details appear and play out throughout your life’s journey. Your story has been quite a ride up to this point, now it is time that you craft and experience the greatest love story of all time.

This love story is yours and yours alone and even greater than any love story told.

Save Your Business Ship

So you’ve jumped into the sea of business and you suddenly discover you’re in treacherous water and your abilities to navigate your business ship begin to come into question. It doesn’t take long and you realize you could have been a little more prudent before launching your maiden voyage to have a handle on what lies ahead.

Nonetheless, wherever you are on your business journey, you can start taking steps to track your business, analyze our time and optimize the processes and procedures which yield the greatest return on your investment dollar, thereby maximizing your bottom line.

Let’s face it, the longer you can sustain your foray into business, the more time you will have to tweak your systems and increase your likelihood of success in your venture.

Here are some of the things you may be able to take a look at, which can make subtle differences yet yield positive impact and increasing cash flow while optimizing the operation of your business in real time.

1. Opt out of services that have no positive impact on your business

As burgeoning business people, we enthusiastically tend to join organizations, enroll in programs and manage a number of subscriptions to services with the best of intentions, thinking that this-or-that will help to bring potential clients or increase our value in the community.

You may be paying for a service that you’re not equipped to take advantage of at the moment. No need to pay for it while you wait for the planets to align.

Take this time to review these types of programs which consume your valuable resources but offer no return on your investment.

You can always opt back in when you’re in a better position to take action and reap the rewards, otherwise, cancel.

You may also be able to streamline processes by grouping them into one service which encompasses the features of many services you are presently using. This type of consolidation is in the best interest of your business while reducing administrative costs by reducing the number of accounts being managed and increasing your bottom line.

Though it may make you feel uneasy at first, because you have been led to believe that you need a particular product or service, letting go of the dead weight will yield a demonstrable benefit to your organization that can be measured in additional resources, production and/or cash flow.

Once you start paying attention to the details of your business, you will be on the lookout for new products and services which will help to optimize your operations even more, as more and more service begin to appear on the horizon to replace outdated services which are not as optimized for your particular business.

2. Prepare to bail out or jump ship

Being in a state of alertness and readiness can maximize your business acumen as you are tracking and reviewing your business plan and efforts along the way, keeping you from getting stuck in a rut.

No one wants a leaky ship, so keeping track of costs vs. returns can keep your ship in tip top shape. You can make repairs when appropriate of jump ship altogether. Marketing and promotion costs are problematic and can easily spin out of control if not properly monitored and controlled, as well as other production costs.

Sometimes being immersed in the day to day operations can be overwhelming and may make it difficult to be perfectly objective, so be open to the idea of inviting someone to assist you in reviewing your operations from a different perspective. It may give you insights that you may not have otherwise had access to from your present perspective.

It is fairly simple to create a mathematical formula to evaluate our cost of doing business – or engaging in a specific activity or process – and determining its value to your ongoing business.

Always be aware and reviewing the many aspects of your business and always ask yourself, “Is there a better way?” Look for better ways to conduct your business and you will be surprised at how new ideas will present themselves to help streamline your operations. You will find that in most cases you can do more with less by cutting out the fat.

An effective business person is always looking for ways to improve their operations and increase the bottom line.

3. Continuing education for higher efficiency

Unless your business is so unique that it cannot be possibly related to any other business venture in existence (which would be extremely rare) you can find ways to learn how other businesses are increasing their efficiency and increasing their bottom line.

You might be surprised to find a great deal of information readily available by making a few queries on Google, finding there are other businesspeople just like you who find themselves struggling with the same (or similar) challenges.

You may even find groups, forums, blogs and membership sites where like-minded businesspeople congregate and share their stories. Often, if you are active with these folks and build a relationship with them, you can find them an extremely valuable source of information and resources.

Continuing education is your most effective weapon in battling for your battling for the survival of your business. Not being plugged in and being aware of trends and improvements will anchor your business in stagnant water, leading to its eventual demise.

There are so many resources available to keep you on the top of your game, it would be folly not to consider embracing them.

So, take advantage of subscribing to magazines, joining trade organizations attending trainings and conferences about our area of business and/or areas within your business that can greatly affect your bottom line.

This is not a one-size-fits-all answer, and even if you were the most knowledgeable person on the planet regarding your particular business when you opened the doors, all marketplaces are constantly in a process of ebb and flow. It is your responsibility to be in the know and position yourself in such a way so as to be able to make adjustments quickly to ensure your endeavor’s longevity and continued success.

Always be on the lookout for ways you can leverage your resources and cash flow for maximum returns.

Time to Do Your Own Thing?

Ever feel like just another meaningless face in the maze, just like everyone else in the rat race? Just scurrying around among all the other vermin for whatever reason, with only a brief memory of the inspiring ideal of there being cheese?

Some mazes are better than others, and if you’re lucky to be in a good one, you’ll go to college to earn a ticket you can use to ride the good job bus so you can rack up some retirement and if you’re lucky enough to be one of the five percent in this maze, at some point you can take a break, relax and enjoy the good

The vast majority of those on the college educated, hard working class – yes, ninety-five percent of them – struggle when forced to retire, dependent on social security, family and government subsidies to have any hope of surviving advanced age.

If you’re not one of the 180 million people who win the lottery, you might consider subsidizing your income with a life of crime and enjoy having a place to live out your years with cable TV, surrounded by plenty of friends and not having to worry about paying bills or wondering where your next meal is coming from.

Is it time to do your own thing?
Is it time to do your own thing?

This starts getting real as you age. When you are still young it doesn’t matter much, you believe all the hype about being a productive piece of the machine and have faith there will be something there for you in the future.

There is a small percentage of the population that figures this out early in life and look for ways to take responsibility for their own survival seeking to create something on their own, without having to depend on an employer. About seven percent of us seek some form of self-employment (about seven percent) and of those about half of them are employers who put other employees to work.

The other half are considered mom and pop enterprises, who are just trying to eek out a living the best way they can.

Between the ages of 45 and 64, Americans increasingly seek out ways to subsidize their income, most of them starting a business of their own. As the age of 65 hits, fourteen percent of women and twenty-two percent of men are self employed.

If you’re not one of the 5 out of 100 educated hard-working employees lucky enough to be working with a good company or organization with good retirement packages, then chances are you are starting to look around wondering what you are going to do.

Your fear is the only thing holding you back as you question your own worthiness and talking yourself out of taking full responsibility for your financial future with negative self-talk, such as,

“I’m not educated enough.”

Lots of people, just like you, have launched successful careers and businesses with little or no education and you might be surprised how many of the most wealthy individuals barely have a high school education, no college or dropped out of college.

“I don’t have time.”

Everyone has time to do the things that are important to them. You can see in our youth we have no time for seriously considering any form of entrepreneurship, but as retirement age closes in more and more of us are making the time to get serious about staring something new.

“I don’t have the startup capital.”

Fortunately, nowadays, you can start something with very little overhead or initial cash outlay thanks to the Internet and modern communications technology. You can use these to your advantage and start your business with very little money and no need to have the expense of a brick and mortar enterprise.

“I don’t have a marketable product, skill or service.”

Everyone who comes to this planet has their own inherit skills and abilities. There is something (probably many things) that you are able to do that many other people cannot. This is way our natural system was designed. We all are designed to help each other. You can start doing your part today.

“Someone is already doing it and I can’t compete.”

Really? As a consumer, you know that’s not true. We all like to have choices. We’re not too crazy about the idea of only having one restaurant, gas station, cell phone provider or brand of laundry detergent to choose from. Think of it more as encouraging freedom of choice instead of competition.

“I tried and failed. I just can’t do it.”

If you’ve tried doing something on your own unsuccessfully: Bravo!

Don’t quit. You are 95 percent more qualified to start up a successful business after having at least one failure under your belt, as rarely does anyone start a successful business the first go round.

What’s holding you back?

Love Balloon Therapy

If you’re having a heavy negative emotional response to any person, memory, situation or circumstance – one that causes psychological or physiological pain or discomfort – you might consider initiating the Love Balloon Method for relief.

Used in my practice, the Love Balloon Method, is a simple guided meditation technique that relieves the stress and trauma of a challenging life event while retaining the lessons learned. The Love Balloon Method can be an effective therapeutic process in your life and/or practice.

Equipment Required

  • A Penny
  • A Balloon
  • A Pin (optional)

The only props needed for this process is a penny (or any other small object to be used as a focal point, such as a crystal or stone, etc) and an unused balloon. I use a penny due to its conductive properties and they are readily available, but you could use anything of a similar modest size. The balloon is used for its insulation quality and also as an active part of the emotional release process and the pin (or any sharp object) to pop the balloon when appropriate.

The Love Balloon Process

Relax

Relax in a comfortable position and focus on the person, memory, situation or circumstance causing your discomfort. You may find the emotional impact from this event or thing disrupting your life or day at unexpected times causing you to feel uneasy, anything from mildly uncomfortable – to – sick to your stomach or other pain in your body.

Close Your Eyes

For this moment in time, you are simply finding a peaceful place in your mind to relax prior to starting the process as you hold the penny in your left hand, palm up, between your thumb and middle finger. When you have achieved a reasonable state of calm and peace you are ready to move onto recalling the event.

Recall

Using your imagination – with your eyes closed – recall every detail about the object of your discomfort. Ramp up all the emotional impact that you can so that if on a scale of 1 – to – 10, your emotions would be as close to a ten as possible, as if you were as hurt, angry or uncomfortable as if it were happening, right now.

Watch TV

In your mind’s eye, shrink the scene down so that you see the event in its entirety as if it were on a television screen. Now step outside of the television screen, so you can clearly see all the events taking place from outside the TV. Outside the television you remain safe from the event(s) taking place. You can view the entire scene and while it may be uncomfortable to watch it play out before you, you are separated from the scene as it plays out before you.

From this vantage point, you have the remote control, and see how you can pause the scene, fast forward, rewind, , zoom in, zoom out, play in slow motion and adjust the sound of the scene. In fact, you will be surprised and/or amused at how much control you have other the entire scene. Try it now.

White Light, Love and Joy

Imagine a beam of white light beaming down from above, right down through the top of your head, passing through your head to your heart, filling your heart with the light of love and joy. Let this light flow full force and spread its glow throughout your whole body and overflow out through your feet and into the earth below.

Let the television turn and spin as it is engulfed by the heavy flow of love and joy to shrink and follow the flow to the area of your heart, where it spins in the heart’s vortex of light, love and joy.

Hand on Heart

Place your right hand on your heart, creating an overflow of light, love and joy recycled as it overflows from the heart, traveling through your right shoulder, through your arm, out your palm and in the area of your heart where the TV spins even more.

Charge the Penny

When you are ready, right hand still on your heart, send the TV and this incredible love, light, joy and energy down your left arm and see it flow into the penny. See the penny glow in white light while the TV is locked safely inside.

Open Your Eyes

Penny to Balloon

Take the balloon now with your right hand and stuff the penny with your event trapped inside into the balloon. The balloon is made of rubber which acts as an insulator. Safely tucked inside, you can feel the penny but cannot feel any of the emotion. Inside the balloon, it is just a penny.

Blow Up the Balloon

In the knowledge that the flow of light, love and joy, still flowing through the top of your head to your heart and overflowing out through your feet, breathe in and see your breath filling the area of your heart glowing with the light of love and joy. Use this love and joy infused breath to blow up the balloon.

Repeat inhaling into your heart and blowing as your exiting breath filled with light, love and joy continues to fill the love balloon.

Filled Love Balloon

Once the balloon is filled with all that light, love and joy, you can either pinch it or tie it off and sake the balloon. You can hear and feel your penny bouncing and rattling around inside. Imagine how silly and amusing your problems seem bouncing around inside the love balloon. Smile and increase your joy as it bounces around, even allow yourself to laugh at how funny this all is.

Release with Love

After you have amused yourself sufficiently and realize you are ready to finally let go of the emotional impact of the event. Honor the event by allowing your mind to be able to find the goodness, the lesson and learning from having lived through this event as you release all the emotional control this person, memory, situation or circumstance had over you in love.

If you are pinching the balloon, release it with the grand, flatulent sound of sudden deflating and laugh or even cheer as it is gone. Alternative, if you have tied the balloon, pop it and your problem explodes along with the balloon.

Celebrate Freedom

Celebrate by uttering a vocal, “Wa-hoo!” or some similar phrase that makes you feel good. Do a jig and dance around the room. You are now free from the emotional impact or abuse from this person, memory, situation or circumstance.

Wa-hoo!

I love the love balloon.

Personality Disorders and Diagnosis

No two people are alike and for those of us in the people business, we try to quickly ascertain particular personality traits to give us a better understanding of how best to relate to a particular individual. I am not particularly fond of labels, but have always been fascinated by the four basic personality types and use my, “What kind of cat are you?” framework as a lighthearted tool.

Personality traits such as how a person sees and interacts with their life and others seem to fall into basic categories and most people are a combination of one or more of these temperaments.

Beyond particular personality traits, there are personality disorders which are considered undesirable and could cause problems in the life of someone struggling with a dysfunctional personality trait or negatively affect the life (or lives) of others.

Diagnosing personality disorders is really a very complex method which should be left to the licensed professionals specializing in this type of work. It is an ever-evolving science of psychotherapy which changes moment to moment and year to year as we accumulate data and as we as human beings amidst societal environments continue to evolve. It is a continual moving target.

Currently, the trend suggests there are ten basic prototypes used in the diagnosis of personality disorders. Even so, even with a correct diagnosis it is common for any two people with the same diagnosis to express their particular personality disorder completely differently. Again, this is because even though we all share some of the same basic temperament traits, we are all so uniquely separated by individual life experiences and influences which give us our astounding uniqueness.

That being said, the process of diagnosis is more likened to art than science due to the complexities and variances of each subject. At the moment there exists no scientific testing equipment that can be used to adequately diagnose a particular person (and I think that is a good thing) but the scientific community would like to embrace a scanning technology which could adequately report which people are likely to not have compassion or feelings, are likely to break the law, be manipulative and predatory, overly frightened or highly dependent on the system or others.

Not being an exacting science regulated to a series of yes or no criteria, we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have, and just as each subject is completely individual, so is each evaluator, which skews the process of diagnosis even further as data is scrutinized and perceived to arrive at an adequate conclusion.

As we continue to diagnose and categorize personality disorders, it causes concern about how these diagnoses will be handled in the future, because history depicts society as having a propensity to punish or banish people who express particular brands of individuality. I am not convinced this is a good thing.

In my work, I have found myself working with people and their issues among the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum, particularly those who have a propensity for being predatory or involved in criminal activity. In the past, these individuals were labeled as “psychopaths” which is the term that I use to categorize them, when working with their victims.

While these methods of categorization helps me communicate, deal with and integrate with this particular group of individuals, I struggle with the idea of reducing human beings to their simplest form(s) and see potential pitfalls in such activity.

Even you could be easily diagnosed with a particular personality disorder, which could be problematic.

For instance, you could be diagnosed as being a Paranoid, Schizoid or possess a Schizotypal Personality Disorder if you’re a loner, suspicious, assert that you have certain “rights,” ruminate over injustices; believe in magic, UFOs and government conspiracies.

You could receive a diagnosis of Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic or Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you lack empathy or compassion, are self-confident, aggressive, manipulative or feel as though you are above the law. This spectrum also includes those who might be attractive, sexual, suicidal, emotionally unstable and/or selfish in nature.

Then there are the Avoidant, Dependent, and Anankastic Personality Disorders which include individuals who are self-conscious, shy, subservient, are apt to display anxiety, fear of abandonment and may (or may not) have been a victim of sexual abuse. This group also harbors obsessive statisticians and workaholics who may lack a sense of humor and are likely to see things as black-or-white or good-or-bad.

What do you think?

Personal Adventurers

Do you see things in your life that ended up being less than what you had hoped for?

Are you okay with the idea that things are fine the way they are and might lead to something even better than you’d expected from your previous ideas?

Are you okay with others doing the best they can with what they have and it is not up to you to try to manage or change their life, in a sense allowing them to find their own way?

Do you love the person you are without having to seek approval or validation from others?

When your life is disrupted by an unexpected life circumstance are you apt to quickly adapt and look for the better thing that is coming to you?

If these questions resonate with you as ideas that you are embracing as you are moving through life, then like me, you are on a path of the personal adventurer. Personal adventurers are able to find value, the lesson, even reverent levity or happiness in even the worst of circumstances. When other people might self-destruct become defensive, strike out in fear, anger, or sink into a deep depression, you are looking to experience the situation from an alternative perspective, you find yourself looking for the treasure in every tragedy or challenge.

Let’s say you lost your job, found yourself in hard times and unable regain your balance. This might be a condition that would throw someone into the depths of depression, but you feel something good is headed your way. Then while taking a stroll down the street in the early evening someone approached you on the street with a stocking cap covering his face and a gun pointed at you asking you for your purse or wallet. There is any number of ways to respond to such a challenge, but you’re likely to smile and with uncomfortable levity, you might respond with, “Really? Did you pick the wrong person tonight, I should be holding you up,” and end up striking up a conversation with the would-be thief.

What would have been a life-threatening event in someone else’s life was an opportunity for you to reach out to another human being without losing the grip on your own life and/or emotions even in a personally difficult situation.

When faced with the most challenging of life circumstances, you are looking for ways to uncover goodness, mercy, understanding and value in the experience which empowers you to move into the futures with knowledge and power which would ether elude others, or may have been obtained via master level training. You benefit from every experience and continue to move ahead with your new found training locked in as a new tool in your tool belt for whatever lies ahead.

It is here that you find a sense of inner peace in all things.

No one can tell you how to think about or process the data presented to you on your life’s journey. Sure, you can be open to insight from others, but only you can apply the learning or appreciate the beauty and elegance of the uncovered treasure no matter how great or how small.

Philosophers and religious leaders present us with their view of a particular concept or ideal and there may be instances where you feel a common resonance with someone else who is on their own individual path and for a while (possibly for a long while) you may find yourself walking in lock step along similar paths at the same time. These times are precious as they foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie which is comforting, though for most of us, that tug from our heart to move forward begins to lead us into a different direction.

If this is you, you have an adventurous soul which seeks to find its own way and experience things that may not be available to others who travel in groups for long periods of time, and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, but really it’s the only way you will find peace, fulfillment and happiness; by making your own way. And who knows? You might be clearing a path for others as you grab your compass and machete and forge your own path. Certainly, you will have access to data that may not be available to others following the well-worn path.

Even though most of us like to feel a part of the greater whole, only the individual is able to see that his or her adventurous propensity is actually a part of the hugely greater whole that others may not be able to see or even consider from their vantage point on their path. We have a sense of taking the high road, one that may be more challenging, but the rewards are so worth it. We long for enormous views of aerial vistas that can only be imagined from below.

Society and the media try to designate who we should be, how we should act and think. This promotes a herd mentality which causes us to divide and to devise brother against brother, to judge other people for conducting themselves in a manner which you have been programmed to accept, “is not acceptable.”

But you have an inner sense of knowingness that you cannot change, control or take responsibility for another person’s actions, you are keenly aware that you are only responsible for you, your thoughts, ideas, behaviors and manifestations.

You are becoming more accepting or tolerant of people and things being what they are. While others are more apt to focus on the tragedies and injustices, you find yourself focusing on the beauty and elegance of all the good things that are taking place simultaneously. To maintain a positive perspective, even in the worst of times, is a blessing and the lever which releases real joy and happiness.

After a while, don’t be surprised if you find humor – even possibly giving way to laughter – in even the most tragic circumstances. While others might think your response is disrespectful and contemplate calling someone to have you sent to a loony bin, don’t take it personal. They have been programmed to have this sense of belief system, and that’s okay. They’re only doing the best they can with what they have. Maybe they will find their own way in the future, maybe not. Don’t take it personal, just give it a shrug and say, “Oh well,” and keep it moving. There is no need to defend your position, just allow everyone to have their own opinion and perspective and bless them as you walk by.

You live in a world where you are surrounded by others who do not have your best interests at heart, and only you can determine what is best for you, so don’t allow these individuals to threaten you or beat you into submission, unless of course, you have come to the conclusion that submitting (or feigning submission) may actually allow you the freedom to move on.