Wrapping up the month of January, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters
There seems to be a bit of confusion among all peoples, professionals and laypersons, about how to correctly label a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist or any of the other personality types clustered among the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.
In my work with victims of predators who clearly vibrate within the ASPD spectrum, we all get attacked by peers and predators who strongly disapprove or using any list of characteristics or labels whatsoever to identify a psychopath, sociopath, or narcissist. It is even more confusing when even the psychiatrists, psychologists and criminologists cannot agree on a particular diagnosis.
The problem? We’re talking about people. Regardless of their predatory tendencies, these warped individuals are people – just like the rest of us – who are each just as unique as the rest of us. In my work, I generally refer to these individuals with a basic set of extreme anti-social characteristics as “psychopaths,” because that was the clinical diagnosis of the individual who introduced me to the nature of these individuals. Prior to encountering this psychopath, I didn’t believe they existed.
Since then, no one can seem to agree on an effective means to qualify these people (if only there were a blood test or some other quantitative way to correctly diagnose where an individual is on the ASPD spectrum). Interestingly enough, every “expert” has their own method of diagnosis they are confident works well (or well enough).
As far as the differences between psychopaths and narcissists, most can agree on the following differences.
Psychopath or Narcissist?
As opposed to most narcissists, psychopaths are either unable or unwilling to control their impulses or to delay gratification. They use their rage to control people and manipulate them into submission.
Psychopaths, like narcissists, lack empathy but many of them are also sadistic: they take pleasure in inflicting pain on their victims or in deceiving them. They even find it funny!
Psychopaths are far less able to form interpersonal relationships, even the twisted and tragic relationships that are the staple of the narcissist.
Both the psychopath and the narcissist disregard society, its conventions, social cues and social treaties. But the psychopath carries this disdain to the extreme and is likely to be a scheming, calculated, ruthless, and callous career criminal. Psychopaths are deliberately and gleefully evil while narcissists are absent-mindedly and incidentally evil.
As Millon, in Personality Disorders in Modern Life notes, certain narcissists “incorporate moral values into their exaggerated sense of superiority. Here, moral laxity is seen (by the narcissist) as evidence of inferiority, and it is those who are unable to remain morally pure who are looked upon with contempt.”
Narcissists may not be considered evil, like psychopaths, and may lack the intention to cause harm. Narcissist are more likely to be indifferent, callous and careless in their conduct, which overflows into the way they interact with others. Their abusive behavior is primarily not considered to be as intentional or deliberate a psychopath’s.
Psychopaths really do not need other people while narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply (the admiration, attention, and envy of others).
“When the egocentricity, lack of empathy, and sense of superiority of the narcissist cross-fertilize with the impulsivity, deceitfulness, and criminal tendencies of the antisocial, the result is a psychopath, an individual who seeks the gratification of selfish impulses through any means without empathy or remorse.” ~ Millon, Th., Davis, R. – Personality Disorders in Modern Life – John Wiley and Sons, 2000.
Thanks to one of my clients, I have been learning more about doing business in China. For those interested in doing so, be aware you will be miles ahead if your intention to do so is predicated by Guanxi.
In China, Guanxi (relationship) is a complicated field. A special feature of doing business in China will be the Guanxi (relationship) which includes relationships with the government body, investors, partners and even relationships with your own staff. So, when doing business in China, it is important for foreign investors to learn to coordinate with the China government, especially establishing a good relationship with government bodies dealing with foreign trade and economic cooperation.
Governmental procedures for foreign investors in establishing investments in China is extremely complicated. If you are unfamiliar about the procedures, you will delay your business opportunities. Therefore, it is important for you to be familiar with the investment procedures before carrying out your investment in China. A safer and more appropriate way would be to seek help from local organizations familiar with the same field of business or consultant firms who are able to provide professional advice and assistance. Willpower and patience may be essential for an investor to be successful, however, it is necessary for you to get help from professional bodies to ensure that your success will be achieved.
You can start small by seeking a suitable local cooperative partner when developing the China market. Many investors had established Sino-foreign joint venture, Chinese-foreign cooperative enterprise, etc. as a stepping stone to enter the China market. You will have to figure out which investment mode to choose to align with the enterprise’s characteristics and will be the most suitable for developing the enterprise’s business into the China market. Some investors who have maintained investments in China for many years proposed to small and medium-sized enterprises to take one step at a time when making investments. They should not be too ambitious at the outset. It will be best if they establish cooperation with local partners so as to reduce their investment risk. Even though China’s investment environment is constantly maturing, domestic regional development imbalances still exist. Therefore, building cooperation with local companies will be the most ideal way to protect foreign investors’ interests and investments.
China’s labor market appeals to many foreign investors very much. This is because on one hand, labor cost is low, and on the other hand, through 20 years of reform, China’s workforce has become matured and their skills have been constantly upgraded, especially in the coastal cities. Educational development is undergoing at a tremendous pace in China. It is no longer difficult to hire a high quality labor force in China today. Many successful foreign investors have even credited their success in China to their Chinese local staff. One big problem that is causing problems for foreign investors is maintaining a good relationship (Guanxi) with the local staff. First of all, top management should cultivate the company’s vision and values into the employees because what the local people are taught under China’s educational system may crash with the foreign management system. Only by letting the employees understand the company better will allow the company to function better.
Chinese emphasize on courtesy and face-saving a lot. This is due to China’s traditional culture, and courtesy can be seen in every aspect of their business world. Being courteous to government officials, cooperative partners and staff is essential. Senior president of China’s Siemens Company has rated courtesy of top importance while summarizing his China experiences. Besides displaying courtesy on general commercial affairs, respecting traditional customs and practices is also vital. Chinese people are very hospitable, but their self-esteem is very strong and they pay a great deal of attention to how other people view them and their attitude towards them. This phenomenon can be seen greatly in Northern China, which is associated with ‘face-saving’.
While doing business with the Chinese counterpart or partner, it is essential to give face (respect) to the partner or the other party, so that in this way strong cooperation can be fostered and the business will be able to grow and last.
Many foreign corporations have strict requirements for their staff in their home country. In China, this management method would probably backfire. Past experiences have shown that this kind of strict management method may not be suitable for the Chinese’s gentle personalities. Employees’ morale will be affected and they may lose the willingness and motivation to work in the company.
Handling organizational relationship in a Chinese context is a necessary skill for foreign investors to acquire in order to handle interpersonal problems in the Chinese way. It is important for foreign investors to be flexible in their management and be sensitive to China’s culture in order to devise an ideal management system best suited for their companies’ organizational culture.
Any time you think about starting a business, also be prepared to have an idea about how you can sell your business, if you have any hope of increasing your business potential over time.
With this in mind, you can start small, build your business and make it profitable. Then sell it, and buy a better business, until you’re content with being your own version of Warren Buffet. In other words,
Begin with the End in Mind
Here are some ideas to consider as exit strategies for your business when you are ready to move on:
- Sell or give your company to a family member;
- Sell your business to one or more key employees;
- Sell to your employees (ESOP);
- Sell your business to other shareholders;
- Sell to an outside third party;
- Bring in an outside investor and keep a minority interest
- Go public;
- Hire a management team to take over and become a passive owner; or
- Liquidate your business.
Determining exactly which option is right for you is a challenge that many business owners put off until it is too late. Opportunities pass with time. If you wish to “leave your business on your terms and on your time table,” you need to be proactive about understanding your exit options.
It is recommended that you follow a four-step process to chart your path to the exit option is best for you. This process will ensure that your exit options are consistent with your personal goals and take into account the realities of your company and the marketplace.
Chart Your Path
1. Set Personal Goals
You need to identify your most important objectives; both in terms of financial goals (“How much money do I need from the exit to ensure my family’s financial security?”) and in terms of non-financial goals (“I want the company to stay in my family,” or “I want to my key employees to be rewarded during the exit”). Establishing well defined and written objectives is the first step in the exit planning process. Doing so in advance of your exit gives you and your advisers the time necessary to make your goals a reality.
2. Create Consistent Goals
With the help of your advisers you need to determine whether your goals are consistent with each other. Very often this is not the case. For example, many business owners want to receive all cash at closing when they exit their business. At the same time the owner may want to transfer the business to a family member or a key employee. Unfortunately, these two goals may be mutually exclusive. Family members and key employees often do not have sufficient capital to structure a transaction this way. A great deal of stress and heartache can be avoided by addressing these kind of issues early in the process.
3. Understand Value and Salability Issues
Once you have defined a set of consistent objectives, you need to understand the market value and salability of your company. This analysis is important in that it will provide you with further direction and can eliminate certain exit options.
For example, if the value of your company is below what you feel you need to support a comfortable lifestyle after your exit, you may decide to take some time to enhance the value of your business or to do further financial planning to ensure you clearly understand your financial needs.
In addition to understanding the value of your company you also need to understand how salable your business is. Value and salability are not always the same. Salability determines how quickly a business will sell and how much leverage a business owner will have when negotiating with a buyer. Salability depends to a large extent on external market conditions. External conditions are things that are out of your direct control like business, market or financial conditions. For example, the option of selling your business for cash to an outside buyer may be eliminated because of a downturn in your business or industry.
Work with an investment banking firm to determine the value and salability of your company. Only an investment bank that is actively talking with buyers can give you an accurate read of the marketplace and a “real world” sense of the value and salability of your company.
4. Understand Tax and Legal Implications
The final step in determining the best exit path for you is to a path is to evaluate the tax and legal consequences of the exit options that are available to you. This evaluation will include factors such as legal structure of your business entity, how its ownership is structured, exiting legal agreements, as well as any changes that must be made. For example, if a transaction involves a sale of assets and the company is a “C” corporation, there would be significant adverse tax consequences. Good advice from your CPA and attorney can help minimize the taxes you would otherwise have to pay.
Using this four-step process, you will be able to narrow the list of exit routes to determine which one is best for you. The important thing is to start at the beginning with the end in mind.
If you have a business, an online presence and campaign can benefit (and may be mandatory for) your continued financial growth and outlook into the future.
1. Get Your Domain(s)
When I’m working with a client, I usually make sure they have several domains in their quiver. If possible, and in order of importance, they are:
The Top 4 Dot Coms You Should Own
- Your name dot com
- The name of your business dot com, dot net and dot org
- What you do dot com
- The name of your leading product or service dot com
These are the top 4 dot coms you should own at the very least. First and foremost, your domain collection is about protecting you, your brand, who you are and what you do. There are thieves hiding amongst the landscape of the Internet looking for people and businesses, like yours, who will target domains associated with you and your business, by them and hold them hostage for a premium. And sometimes, it’s worth paying a premium for a dot com that clearly defines your product or service.
2. Post a Basic Site Presence
Let’s say you’ve covered the basics and have your domains safely tucked away in your GoDaddy account, what next? Start by minimally setting up small websites for each dot com. No need to panic here, you don’t have to spend a lot of time or money investing in a web team to get the job done. I walk my clients through a simple 7 to 10 minute process to quickly and easily get this done through their existing GoDaddy account. No need to fret over it, this is a simple DIY web presence. No need to hire it our when you can do it yourself.
3. Who You Are, What Your Do and Where
Of course, this is only the start. Next up, you must know and define what you do and decide where you will position yourself in the marketplace. This is the real work of preparing to launch an effective online presence. Depending on how confident you are and where you are in your business’ life span, this may create a bit of frustration or friction, but trust me, it’s worth it. The information and data gleaned from this process is invaluable and will keep you focused on your business goals.
After you’ve collected all the data from your research and documentation, there comes the moment when you want to integrate this information on your web site. This is where you say, “goodbye,” to your basic web site. Now, it’s time for an upgrade.
4. Upgrade Your Web Site
You may need to upgrade your hosting account with GoDaddy, who has an excellent reputation for call-in phone support (avoid any unnecessary upsells. Their support team can be very aggressive in attempting to sell you products and services that you don’t really need). So, give them a call and tell them you want to upgrade your hosting account and use a user-friendly web platform, like WordPress, for your web presence. WordPress is not only easy, but is extremely powerful and there are many pre-designed templates (themes) and plugins that you can use to make your life online easier; and the price is right: Free.
It doesn’t take long for me to bring my novice clients up to speed and soon they are rocking the Internet like a web superstar. I would say, try it yourself; if it seems too overwhelming, consider hiring it out. If you outsource your web development, be prepared to learn enough about what is going on behind the scenes to make certain that you’re not being taken advantage of and be prepared to take an active role as you build your web presence.
5. Add Content Regularly
As you continue to build your web presence the basic rule of thumb is, “Content is King.” That is to say, posting valuable content about you, your business and what you do on a regular basis will serve you well in the data-infested murk and mire of the Internet. It’s all about being able to be ferreted out in the swamp. Your content will help people find you.
6. Internet Marketing
You will also need to do some online marketing, minimally some Google Adwords, and have some social media representation, such as Facebook presence.
You hear a lot about Search Engine Optimization (some good, some bad), nonetheless, it is necessary to have an understanding of SEO and take advantage of it when and where you can. Effective marketing online campaigns should be your best marketing tool dollar-for-dollar, if done right.
7. Keep On Keeping On
Like anything else in life, don’t think of your online presence as a one-shot deal. Nothing will deteriorate your online presence more than stagnation.
Everything on the Internet is changing every minute of every day. What worked like gangbusters yesterday, could be a worthless strategy tomorrow.
It takes a village to run a successful village and your web team is a priceless asset. Yes, you can start small and do it yourself, but as you grow be thinking about ways you can expand your web marketing to catapult your business to the next level.
Inevitably, as I am working with business people the question comes up, “How much do I charge?” and remarkably the truth is, most businesses do not operate at an effective enough margin to achieve much more than a working wage, when entrepreneurialism should reward the savvy businessperson with an abundant lifestyle, not just a job.
In fact, if you’re an entrepreneur and your working for a living (basically trading hours for cash) you’re not doing it right. Although, if that is the lifestyle you want to live, then Bravo, more power to you. No judgment, here. Everyone gets to choose their own path and if that’s what you want, then, “Good for you.”
I attract business people to my practice who are intent on inviting more abundance into their life while offering products or services at a reasonable price. More often than not, what they think is reasonable is well below their potential. Much of this is due to fear. Fear of being competitive, fear of charging too much, fear of pricing yourself out of business, fear of loss, fear of change, fear of failure and most of all fear of yourself, your own worthiness to achieve your highest and best and reaching high levels of excellence.
When someone asks me for input on how much they should charge, just the asking of the question, “how much do I charge?” is a clear indication that they are charging too little. I’m serious. If someone asks me about their price point, I can guarantee that they’re probably generating half of the revenue they should be bringing in – minimum – and should be considering a plan to increase their business ten-fold.
Of course, making the leap to ten times your business revenue is likely going to take a more strategic approach than simply charging ten-times more for the same product or service that you’re offering today. No, you’re going to have to raise the value of your product of service ten times (or more) to reasonably achieve that feat.
The first fallacy in business is to assume that you can sell your product for a lower price and this will create competition for others in a similar business. If you choose this path, you are assuming that you can achieve higher volume sales while operating on a lower margin than your competitors.
In most cases (though not all) businesses who compete strictly in the low-pricing space are unable to compete long-term, and are less likely to break-through to the massive success they envisioned at the outset. When you’re operating on a tight margin, one wrong step could put you out of business. Without deep pockets, you may not be able to manage a misstep. On the other hand, if you are extremely well-funded, you may be able to weather the storm and achieve market domination (though this is very rare).
The Excellence Marketplace
You are far better off positioning yourself in the excellence marketplace, where high end products and services are offered to an exclusive clientele. Operating in the excellence marketplace, you are able to weather the storms that you may encounter along the way, and you are grateful for the lesser-priced providers of similar products or services for offering something of value to those who cannot afford your services.
If you encounter a potential client who is looking for a bargain price for you, your products and/or services, you can refer them to another provider who is better suited for their price point and expectations. You, your product or service is not for everyone (and if you tell me it is, we have a long way to go).
Let’s say you need to buy a new car, so you go shopping for the car you want and saunter into your local Mercedes dealership and select a C-300, an affordable entry level Benz. You love it and challenge the sales manager with your ability to get a Chevy Spark for a much lower price. (I will allow your common sense to follow this scenario to its logical conclusion.)
In any marketplace it is up to you to decide where you will position yourself in your industry. You can take the hard road and play in the excellence marketplace, or you can take the low-priced road in hopes that you might be able to survive in the long-run.
This is a decision that only you can make, and if it’s not too late, there is time for you to make adjustments and find the right marketplace for you to enjoy your future and all the best things this life has waiting for you; your reward for answering the call, whatever it may be.
Want to make the world a better place? Try sharing your love with others.
Whenever you share love with others, you’ll notice the peace that comes to you and to them. ~Mother Teresa
Sharing your love with others is the best way to feel love, because as love flows through you to someone else, the overflowing of your love soothes and satisfies your soul. It’s as if you have discovered the meaning of life in this benevolent act of sharing your love with others.
All of us (whether you are willing to admit it, or not) are hardwired to love and be loved. Some of us reject or deny love at all costs due to certain life experiences and/or a chemical imbalance in the brain, nonetheless you are designed and equipped to love and to share your love.
Sure, we all put on a façade to protect our vulnerable selves that reside beneath the skin, but the deeper we go inside ourselves, we find a longing for love that is often left unrealized. So, we covertly find ourselves in search of love. Occasionally, we find ways to satisfy our desire to be loved, like eating chocolate, listening to soothing music or soaking in a warm bath. Light some candles and combine all three of those for a solo experience which is better than the most common way to create the feeling of love, which is having sex (and an orgasm).
What do all these things have in common? Biologically, when you eat chocolate, listen to soothing music, relax while soaking in warm bathwater, or have an orgasm, any one of these things releases a chemical hormone called Oxytocin (also referred to as the love hormone).
When our brains release this hormone we enjoy the feeling of being loved or being in love but as the feeling fades a craving for more love develops. Sure, you could pet your cat, make a contribution to charity, or get a massage, three more ways to ramp up Oxytocin, but no matter how you try to cut it, noting satisfies more than experiencing unconditional true love that lasts a lifetime.
You might think that finding your soulmate might be the answer, “If I could just find someone to promise to love me ‘til death, then I will have the love I’ looking for.” If you’ve tried that one, how is that working out for you?
The truth of the matter is love, true love, comes from inside of you. It is the core of who you are. When you came into this world your heart was full of love, then life happened. As you grew and matured (this all starts not long after birth) you find your capacity for love decreases over time. Most of us are reluctant to love due to fear, or afraid to let someone love us for fear of losing the love we’ve shared with another.
And you couldn’t be more right because you will never find true love from another person. You, your life, your love must come from within. You must find love for yourself first, and the more love you can find and honor yourself with, the more love you will have to share with others. True love, the love that each and every one of us sincerely desires but cannot seem to find, lies hidden away inside us locked away and only you have the key to your treasure chest of love.
True love comes from within and sharing it with others allows it to flow from us to someone else and be reflected back to us creating a completed love-cycle that satisfies. While chocolate and sex satisfies briefly, sharing love from your unlimited source is more satisfying and can be savored over time without fading away, once you realize all the love you have inside of you.
Sharing your love is the most amazing way to feel your love, but for it truly to be meaningful, satisfying and long-lasting, you must have something to share. If you are giving love but don’t have much supply to share from, this can leave you feeling drained, reducing you to a caregiver, which satisfies for a while, but it is not long when your reserves of love begin to dwindle leaving you feeling used, resentful and burned out.
Alternatively, sharing your love from an unlimited supply of love from within fills you with love, peace and joy.
Fortunately, none of us are too damaged that we cannot find the love we seek within, because it’s always there, it’s always been there. You have the key, all you need is the courage to access it, and set it free. The problem is that often our individual treasure chest of love is secluded under layers of life experiences, so finding the lock may require some work.
You can do the work by reaching out and seeking ways to love yourself by taking full responsibility for your physical and spiritual needs and snuggling up with your inner treasure chest of love by any method that you can. I might suggest the book, The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz, or any of a hundred other books on finding big love deep within, or you could attend an Awakening to True Love Workshop, or similar seminar or retreat.
With your increased ability to love yourself and others, you can attract and achieve all the things in life that you’ve longed for while enjoying greater peace and happiness as your love overflows.
True love, the unconditional love that never ends imbues you with the ability to be bulletproof as you make your way through this life. You will find things that used to get to you, no longer have power over you because you are empowered with an unlimited supply of invincible unconditional love.
Your love is not limited by time and space; you can share your love anytime, anywhere, in person, over the phone, via email or even from a private, meditative state. Your love is an energetic force that emanates within and can be transferred to others.
You will find yourself not only loving yourself, your family, your friends and your mate but you will also find the ability to share your love with complete strangers as well as your enemies.
Holistic entrepreneurs are not only doing great work in the world, they are also cognizant of their own spiritual wellness. This is why I am blessed to be surrounding myself with creative triunistic (body/mind/spirit) conscious individuals who are ever evolving and expanding.
As my clients evolve, likewise their lives and their business environments change and adaptation is necessary to maintain congruency with the ongoing metamorphosis.
It becomes necessary to contemplate changing your brand (the representation of who you are and what you do) to embrace and harness the power of your expansion to allow further opportunities and expansion.
Your brand is not only what you say it is, it is what people think about you when they hear your name or the name of your business. If not tended to, your brand can be very weak. Given the proper attention people will recognize the impression you desire to communicate when your name comes to mind. It is a powerful but delicate balancing act.
We love doing the things we love, that is why we do what we do, but as we evolve those things we love – those things we are deeply passionate about – are also subject to change.
Upon conception of your foray into the public medium, you brand yourself initially as you see yourself and like to represent who you are and what you do to others. Often this is apparent when you first meet and/or greet someone, exchange pleasantries and introduce yourself. What you say in the first 30 seconds establishes your brand.
It makes sense that as you change, so should the way you introduce yourself to others (your brand).
So how do you establish who you are and what you do?
Periodically checking with your inner self and query where your passions are and compare them to where you were. Ask yourself is my brand (the way I have been representing/introducing myself) an adequate representation of where I am today?
If not, it may be time to revisit how you represent yourself to others and consider rebranding.
Making these changes as often as necessary (there are no hard and fast rules about when, only when you recognize you have changed enough to communicate the adjustments to others) will open doors and invite further expansion of your efficacy in the community and the world at large.
If you’re considering that it is time for a personal or professional review, ask yourself these questions,
Where did I come from?
How did I get here?
What offerings, tools, skills and special abilities do I have?
What was I most enthusiastic about in the past?
What makes my heart sing today?
Is something calling me, beckoning me to bring it forth?
Can I accept the challenge to expand who I am or what I do?
If so, what would that look like?
Can including this vision in my brand further my evolution or expansion?
The answers to these and other questions that might come to mind will help you determine whether it is time to make adjustments to your brand.
Are you ready?
Most of us realize by now (and science is catching up with the idea) that our hearts emit an energy field. What does this science mean and more importantly how does this energy affect us, the space we occupy on this planet and the rest of the world as we know it? What if we, each and every one of us, is a power cell for negative energy?
I think we can all grasp the idea that we are all surrounded by a degree of negative energy, and we can easily see the effects of the dominance of negative energy just by viewing a few minutes of any news show or channel. Evidence of this proliferation of negative energy can be witnessed almost any time anywhere, ad if not, it doesn’t take long to find it if you simply look for it.
Negative energy (or “evil” as some may call it) is all around us, but this is not a natural state of our planet. Nature does not maintain a frequency of negativity. You look at nature and there is no evil, there is only life, evolving, changing, growing and continually making way for new life. Yet, in the world which we live (and we have made for ourselves) negativity abounds.
Since negative energy does not originate in nature, then the question remains,
Where does negative energy come from?
The answer, if you could stretch your imagination to postulate for a moment, lies within each and every one of us.
We Are Power Cells for Negative Energy
It’s you, it me, it’s each of us sharing the human condition on planet earth. We are the source energizing the negative energy that we see all around us.
If our heart emits an energetic frequency – and if this energy is negative – it fuels the negativity which permeates our world, creating more and more negativity. We are the batteries that run the negativity witnessed and experienced in our world.
Negative energy which is based primarily on the emotion of fear is transmitted via its various forms of energetic transference to the world around us. Fear is the base emotion that is the foundation for so many emotional states such as anger, depression, disapproval, envy, grief, hate, rejection, sadness and worry that we find ourselves surrounded by most, if not all, of the time.
When we find ourselves engaged in these emotional states, we are turning up the power on our individual power cells to further fuel the negativity in our own world and the world around us.
Here are the top 40 negative emotions and their antidotes:
The Top 40 Negative Emotions and Their Antidotes
Negative Emotional State
Positive Emotional Antidote
How to Stop Charging the Negative Energetic Field
Fortunately, just as we hold the power to charge the negative energetic field that surrounds us, we also possess the ability, not only to cancel the negative energy, but to emit a more powerful positive energy which not only attracts more good things in life to us but in addition empowers the world for more good fortune.
The act of cancelling and producing positive energy not only benefits our own lives, but the lives of those within our social circles and the world at large.
While this may not be a widely help concept, yet, it is growing and people are making the shift from participating in (and promoting) negative energies and intentionally raising their frequencies in emotional states that are founded in love, not fear.
So when you find yourself experiencing any of the negative emotions via any of your senses, the sooner you catch yourself, stop the exposure and find ways to embrace the antidote, you can stop contributing to this negative energetic field.
Charging the Positive Energetic Field
The more you stop exposing yourself to the negative energy field and curtail allowing your body’s tendency to emote negatively, you can fully embrace more and more of the antidotes, or positive energetic frequencies, to further positively power the positive energetic field that is gaining power as more and more of us participate in this powerful action.
You have the power
You Are The Power
Use it wisely
Let’s face it, if you’re open to having an effective romantic relationship with another person, you probably already know you’re swimming in shark-infested waters. Still, we want to believe true love is possible – and I believe it is – so we continue to allow ourselves to be open and somewhat vulnerable because we know that is the only way to have a truly meaningful relationship.
The earlier you notice the warning signs of a potentially problematic or toxic relationship, the better. Although unfortunately we find ourselves in relationships and are only able to see the red flags after they have established a level of comfort and let down their guard. At that point you have to decide if it’s time for you to conduct your relationship ending to allow for a more healthy relationship to appear on the landscape.
15 Signs for Relationship Ending
1. It’s All About Me
If your partner is self-absorbed there may be no room for you in his of her life. Certainly, you might be invited to participate in their life but more as an accessory than a partner. You might be able to see signs of potential narcissistic personality disorder on their facebook or other social media accounts. Look for obsessive selfies and little else. If it’s all about them on their social media, it’s a good indicator that any relationship will also be about them, too. Look for someone with the capacity to have relationships with friends and family if you hope for them to have the ability to become a team player in your life.
2. Do This, Don’t Do That
If they have a long list of rules they expect you to follow and more often than not making suggestions to change you, this is likely never going to change, and you shouldn’t be expected to. This may also be a warning sign that you might be getting involved with a psychopath or someone in the anti-social personality disorder spectrum. If they’re expecting you to change to meet their requirements, consider changing prospective mates.
3. More Interested in What You Do
If your partner appears to be more interested in your career (and you have a good job with benefits, opportunities for promotions or influential in the community) then he or she might not be interested in you at all. It’s likely not just about liking what you do, but they’re more focused on what you can bring to the table for them. If it’s not about you, who you are as a person, it’s because they’re not interested in you and they lack the capacity to connect in a real way.
4. Not Interested in What You Want to Do
If you’re constantly trying to invite our partner to participate in activities that you enjoy and he or she is resistant to going along or could care less, how long could you live like that? Though, they might be quite expectant that you participate in their activities. If they’d rather you go alone and administer endless guilt trips for doing so, these are not signs of a potentially successful long-term relationship. It’s not up to you to always be the sacrificial lamb or the martyr. A true partnership includes a bit of give and take if it is expected to last.
5. Conversation Domination
Are they constantly talking about me, me, me and don’t seem to be interested in you? You can clearly see it when you’re trying to communicate with them. They rarely if ever ask you about you, and when you find yourself intimating details about you, your day, your life, they interrupt and make it about them. Try disagreeing with the. If they are more focused on defending their position than listening to your point of view, then what’s the point? Conversation – just like your relationship – needs to be a two-way street, if you want to be more in someone’s life than an audience member validating their sense of importance.
6. Doesn’t Keep Promises
Your prospective mate is armed and ready with a long list of excuses about why he or she was unable to d what he or she said they would do and may even look to blame you in some way for his/her inability to fulfill his/her obligation(s). This is not only shirking responsibility, but may be a clear indication that this person has no sense of integrity to bring to the relationship. How can you be expected to trust someone who won’t keep their promises?
7. Could Care Less About Others
If someone is self-centered, inconsiderate or rude, they may be borderline narcissists. You see it every day, the person who dominates the fast lane at low speed not aware of anything or anyone else being on the road, they stand in doorways unaware of others who would like to use the egress point, they talk out loud with their blue tooth device stuffed in their ear in public, are constantly checking their phones at inopportune times and places, holding up foot traffic or disrespecting other people attempting to engage with them. You are not likely to be truly seen by this person as the person you truly are, only a less than visible passer-by. Don’t hold onto the false hope of making a genuine connection with this type of person.
8. Pointing Out Others’ Faults
If your partner is constantly pointing the finger at other people, putting them down, disrespecting or making fun of them and/or their shortcomings, then they are nothing more than selfish nincompoops. There are deep-rooted reasons why someone needs to validate themselves by putting others down ranging from lack of self-esteem to psychopathy. Regardless of the root cause of this type of personality trait, it does not indicate an openness that leads to a long-lasting, meaningful relationship, knowing all the while he or she is monitoring everything you do for use as a comedy sketch in the future. Only fools hang with the foolhardy. Don’t be a fool.
9. How They Respond to Their Past
If your potential partner lies about his or her past – or worse yet – doesn’t talk about it at all, it does not reflect well on any potential relationship you might have with this person. Either they are a sociopath covering up their long list of casualties or they are too broken and timid to participate fully because they feel they have been victimized or afraid that you might leave, if you knew the truth. Unless you can freely and openly share the wounds and scars about your past with the person with whom you can be intimate with, there is no real possibility of making a connection of any significance. That onus is on you, too. You also need to be able to conduct a conversation about this person’s past, without ridicule or judgment.
10. Living With Their Ex- (in their head)
How can you be expected to have a quality relationship with someone who is still attached to their ex-? This person is clearly not ready to move on in any meaningful way. A little dialogue about exes may be helpful in getting to know someone’s capacity for relationships, but endless stories about the ex- go far beyond annoying. You’re participation in this person’s life may be relegated to being the rebound or transition person, making them feel better as they work through their grief of loss, only filling a temporary void until someone else comes along. Look for healthy recollections of the ex- and make sure he/she has had some time to disassociate and establish some independence.
11. No Same-gender Friends
If he or she doesn’t have any friends of the same gender and insists that they just don’t get along with individuals sharing the same sex, this could be an indicator of problematic social entanglements which could rear their ugly faces in the future. If his or her ability to have friends is predominantly relegated to friends of the opposite sex, he or she may not have the capacity to engage in a high level of friendship at all, and isn’t that what you want your partner to be, your best friend? You just don’t want to be one of his/her other friends (unless that is what you want). Some speculation could be made about the reasons why he or she is only attracted to making friends with the opposite sex, which could take years to unravel. A good partner has friends who are of both genders it exemplifies their ability to partner.
12. Tries to Trip You Up
Instead of looking out for you and celebrate your individual successes, if they’re more likely to downplay your wins, they ma potentially be destructive, looking for ways to make you stumble so that they appear to have the upper hand. This can be the case when a pair of successful people gets together, especially if one of them may have narcissistic tendencies. Look for someone who celebrates you, encourages you to do better, even helps build you up along the way to success, stay away from anyone who wants to sabotage your personal or professional growth in an effort to keep or tear you down.
13. My Way or the Highway
This potentially narcissistic person is more likely than not going to insist that you comply with their expectations, or follow up with a demand to, “Hit the road, Jack,” or issue a Dear-John letter post haste. If you don’t like it, leave it. They obviously don’t care about you as much as they do themselves. Take advantage of the invitation and just leave, you’re better off without them, cut your losses, leave now, because eventually they will just throw you out anyway.
14. Financial Infidelity
If your partner is weird about finances, keeping financial agreements, or may have undisclosed sources or hordes of financing options, be on guard and be looking for clues of someone who may not be honest with the way they conduct their financial affairs. Money issues are one of the most primary indicators of relationship troubles. You don’t want to be left holding the bag, while your partner scurries off to drain his or her next victim.
There are many discourses on catching the early indicators of a potential abuser. The last thing you want to be in is an abusive relationship. Even though predators are very stealthy early on in a relationship, you may be able to pick up on sings such as how they interact with wait staff, animals or children.
Keep in mind that all abuse is not relegated to only physical. Other kinds of abuse include verbal abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, manipulation, humiliation and/or substance abuse. Healthy relationships should be maintained as abuse-free as possible. And for god’s sake, never think that you can change a potential abuser. Is it possible? Maybe, but not likely.