Month: March 2017

Heal Yourself

There is a growing sense that all things medical may not actually be as presented by the current medical community. Increasingly people are starting to take full responsibility for their own healthcare. Even though it has been thoroughly beaten into every fabric of our being that to do so would not only be folly, but potentially suicidal to attempt to heal yourself.

There is that part of me that looks at the magnificence of the human body, and I feel coherence with the idea that this gift that I’ve been given of this body comes prepackaged with all the science and technology necessary to maintain itself for some 120 years or so.

Certainly, there will be times, when push comes to shove and something exposes a chink in the armor and something gets through that is incongruent with your body’s otherwise healthy state of being and intervention is necessary.

So what do you do, if you’ve taken responsibility for your own healthcare?

You try to heal yourself in any way that might be available. Fortunately, I know a PhD of Natural Medicine with whom I consult. Don’t tell him I told you this, but I always fact-check his advice on Google before jumping into any regimen he might suggest. And you know what?

Nine times out of ten, I could have just gone straight to Google. You might be surprised at how much genuine alternative resources are available with the typing on a few letters into a search engine. Keep in mind, that for as much valid information is available via the web, there is just as much misinformation, and sometimes, it’s impossible to determine which you’re looking at.

On either side of the fence you will find representations and exaggerations of otherwise commonly believed ideas supported by wild claims and/or death warnings for anyone who might even consider such a type of alternative approach to healing.

I might be much more cautious if I didn’t personally know of people who were given death sentences by Medical Doctors, threatened with certain death from unspeakable maladies if not offering to sacrifice their bodies on the altar of pharmaceuticals in exchange for a few more moments on planet earth, who did heal themselves.

Your body will heal itself if you love it with everything youve got You cannot chastise punish or poison yourself to health
Your body will heal itself if you love it with everything you’ve got. You cannot chastise, punish, or poison yourself to health.

Knowing hand fulls of folks who have successfully looked professionally prophesied death in the eye and decided to heal themselves, did just that. I mean, I couldn’t possibly disclose the details of these true life stories without risking being thrown in prison or at the very least being labelled a liar and a kook, here and everywhere else. The fact remains, these people are not only not dead, they are quite fruitful and are thriving healthfully.

And if you know someone, like that, it can’t help but make you wonder…

You might find me studying alternative therapies from time to time along my journey. To date, I have not been diagnosed with one of those frightening diseases that makes you feel like if you don’t submit to the full barrage of authorized treatment, the result will be certain death, so I can say for certain what my response would be. But since I know so may people who have done so, successfully, I would think I would give it a go.

I partake in some natural maintenance regimens, and tweak my own personal cocktails according to the natural response of my body, as well as a bit of research and checking with my inner circuitry to keep myself from falling prey to some nasty malady.

I also feel that I, along with all the others who are taking responsibility of healing themselves, are making a contribution to humanity in some small way, as though my self healthcare might be contagious.

I realize there are wildly opposing point of view on this pharma vs. farm-a idea of natural healing, but I can see both sides, and I am not – by any means – suggesting that someone not go to the doctor. I have both a primary care medical doctor and my natural health doctor that I keep open lines of communication with, so I feel I’ve got both feet on the ground, but I must admit, I am more inclined to seek a natural alternative rather than a pharmaceutical intervention, but if I need it, it’s there.

What about you?

Heal yourself lately?

How to Not Take It Personally

When you see that person who is calm, in a state of zen, and nothing seems to bother them, you think, “What the hell is wrong with that person?”

What you might find, is that they have mastered the idea that nothing is personal. They don’t seem to get uptight (much) and stuff just seems to roll off their back, as they don’t get overanxious or take things personally. They embrace the idea that things are as they are and that’s okay.

You, too, could begin living a life free from the angst of others, because, after all, people will disagree with you, even scheme to trip you up, or try to make you look as if you’re overreacting in front of peers or coworkers, just to prove they can.

Rather than react, you could opt to stop taking things personally and take away their superpower in an instant.

First of all, make a list of the things that piss you off (you know the people that piss you off have this list, shouldn’t you?). Next, review the list. What do yo find? Look for the key components that bother you (this can be an exciting journey in self-discovery, as you find the things that irk you the most often are related to key life moments in your past – or early childhood – torturing you in the present).

Try to look at the issue from other perspectives and think about how a particular thing or topic that carries with it a powerful negative charge and ask, “Does it really matter?” In the scope of the life and times of the human race, many a mountain has been made of molehills, just to cause division between peoples, when in reality, very little is truly meaningful. And when you think of it, nothing has meaning, except for the meaning that you give it.

 

Take a look at celebrities, politicians and other public figures that take massive stands, expecting others to conform to their point of view. How is that working for them?

I discovered long ago, you are more likely to get someone to see from your perspective if you love and accept them just they way they are without expectation, rather than entering into a heated debate or brow-beating them.

If community or global issues get you riled up, realize whatever it is, is not happening to your, personally. Position yourself as a supporter instead of a protester. Protesters (those who expend a great deal of energy in opposition to something) actually add more energy to the thing they are standing against, strengthening the very thing they don’t want. On the other hand, supporters put their energies toward what they do want (the solution) thereby increasing its effectiveness.

Remember that life is what it is. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round, and start making room in your psyches to allow others to be as they are. Take the position of the observer rather than the enforcer. It’s not your job to control others, so try to find opportunities to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

As you are growing into a more tolerant lifestyle, embracing who you are without having to have anyone conform to your personal standards, you may begin to see others doing the same thing. Finding opportunities to spend time in their proximity will make your allowance grow even more.

Does that mean life will be rosy? No, not really. You can wear all the rose-colored glasses you want, and still, people you trusted will fall short of the mark, those you love will hurt your feelings, and you will do likewise (either intentionally, or not). This is a fact of life. Do your best to realize that it is what it is, any tr not to judge others (or yourself) too harshly when it becomes apparent.

How can you disarm those who would like to attack you, or put you down?

Easy, don’t give them any ammunition. When you practice tolerance, there is no opposition. When you can wrap your head around that everything and everyone is perfectly fine just the way they are and no one is right or wrong, allowing for differing opinions, what is there to fight against? Nothing.

And what about your idea of truth? Do you find yourself being defensive, fighting for what you believe? Well, just sit back and think about it… Where did you get this idea of truth? Did someone plant the idea, or did it originate from within your own mind, with your own reasoning and rationale? Then review all the things you strongly believed in… Has your belief changed over time? In most cases, truth and what we believe does change over time, as new information becomes available. It’s inevitable. Things change. So cut yourself some slack and admit to yourself, “This is what I believe to be true at this moment in time.” Based on the information at hand. Who knows what you might believe tomorrow.

Have good intentions and hold yourself to the standard of the Hippocratic Oath, “to do no harm.”

Stop adding energy to the bad things that are brought to your attention. If you see something bad in the media, switch it off, change the channel, refuse to engage in it. Just the welling up of negative emotion within you makes those things that you dislike more powerful. Avoid all negativity.

When people are acting poorly, it is not up to you to try to change them, punish them, or make them feel bad. Do not talk about them behind their back or try to ridicule them for their actions, confront them or offer them advice.

If you find yourself in close proximity and a confrontation is unavoidable, try to speak your peace with lighthearted humor, remembering that it’s not about you. When someone is in opposition of you and you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, keep in mind that this person is acting out because of their own inner demons. It has nothing to do with you. In fact, it can be somewhat of a blessing that you were chosen to participate, because the more tolerant, new you, is less likely to fight and more likely to understand and have empathy for the person who is acting out. Try to put yourself in their shoes.

If you don’t like haters, don’t be one. How hard is that? Only share positive support and do not put others down, not for anything. After all, aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

If yo have an opinion or want to share some factual data, please do so, but share your information humbly, without the expectation that anyone should believe you or conform to your thought patterns. Think of it more like planting seeds. Share your information and allow it to take root and grow on its own, or not.

Practice the Golden Rule (Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Matthew 7:12) by treating others as you would like to be treated.

Congratulations, you are on your way to the tolerant new you, who doesn’t take things personally, because it’s not. Everything and everyone just is as it is, and that’s okay.

 

How Can I Allow Evolution?

Someone asked me, “Evolution? What do you mean? How do I allow evolution to happen for me?”

The answer is a little tricky because it’s different for everyone, but there are similarities that are shared among many who are allowing the evolution to take place in the life you are living in real time.

1. Evolution Is Calling

The first thing is to wrap our head around the idea that you – every part of you, from your mind to your body, right down to the DNA – is yearning to evolve, right now. There is an advanced being longing to experience all the best things this life has to offer, and beyond. And you don’t have to do much, except for to allow the evolution to take place, by preventing you from getting in the way of the impending expansion.

2. Avoid and/or Limit Impeding Distractions

There is an underlying conspiracy in our society that does not want you to evolve. There is a great deal of non-stop activity and programming that is designed to keep you distracted and resistant to the idea that this evolution is longing to release and allowing the new you to emerge. No need to try to explain or rationalize why this is happening, you can do this on your own. All you need to know, really, is that distractions abound to prevent your evolution and expansion. If you are aware of this, you can side-step the distractions and allow your evolution to take place.

What are the distractions to be on the lookout for?

Your life experience is hindered by many things designed to keep the frequency level of your life low enough that evolution and expansion is hardly possible what with the barrage of drudgery involved with everyday life, with our countless routines, and pressure from looming bills, our efforts to try to get ahead, our jobs, maintaining our abodes, dealing with the many levels of relationships that we manage on a daily basis, raising the kids, taking care of our pets, trying to fit in time for others, and on top of all this a constant overflowing of information via media and the Internet designed to keep you hovering at a low vibration. It’s no wonder so few of us are able to break-free enough to allow any expansion to take place. But if it is your time, you will be able to let this pressure subside as you make room to embrace your evolutionary process.

3. Be Prepared to See Things Differently

Expect to start seeing things differently. As your evolution starts to take place, you begin seeing things in a different light. You may start to realize that everything you’ve been told, everything that you feel is true and have sincerely believed in, may not be as you previously thought. When this juxtaposition begins to take place, over-analyzing the contrast between what you previously thought was one way and understanding that what you previously believed was true, you could find yourself bailing out of the evolutionary process. Why? For some, the idea of seeing things as differently is too much to imagine, and if so, that’s okay. It might not be your time to evolve at this time.

4. Find Your Own Way

What do I do next? This is entirely up to you. Your evolution will take place using any number of methods, just be open to what seem right and true in the moment that you are willing to let go of the distractions (of course, you may not be able to unplug completely, but just to give less importance to the pressure and more importance to your evolution is enough).

So, what will it look like? Whatever resonates with your willingness to be open and available to what is reaching out to you. Just have an open mind and allow your inner self to find the path that is perfect for you at this time. Some will lean toward prayer, religion or spirituality, while others may find submerging themselves in nature or meditative states or disciplines. You might be drawn to losing yourself in the arts or artistic expression, or find yourself in deep analytical study or contemplation. Whatever it is that you are drawn to, you will know that it is right at this time because it feels good. This is where your evolution begins to take place. Just be open for the method to change and shift over time as you evolve.

5. Allow Expansion

Allow expansion. As your evolution begins, you may find a comfortable place within a particular method of expanded presence. It is acceptable to enjoy this new vibrational state of awareness for a period of time, for the remainder of your life, if you so choose. This is your evolutionary journey, just know that for every plateau of awareness to which you arrive and enjoy, there is another one waiting to be discovered. If you allow it, the next level will begin to appear on the horizon. The choice to investigate or explore the even greater expansion is entirely up to you. Just know there is so much more out there waiting for you, and excited about your arrival.

6. Individual Tolerance

Don’t worry about anyone else’s journey. Just as your evolutionary journey is your own, anyone else’s is their own journey. It’s natural to get excited about your evolution, as it takes place, and want to share your expansion with others. Be aware that your path is not for everyone, in fact it is only for one: You. Allow anyone and everyone to find their own way. You might find some following the same path, or crossing your path along the way, allow the interaction to take place, and know that people will come and go as the new you continues to emerge along the way. Do not judge anyone, love everyone and wish them the best this life has in store for them.

Congratulations, for embracing the change.

It’s Just Not Fair Haters Gonna Hate

Someone, somewhere at some time planted the idea that life should be fair, and when we recognize that something is not fair, we utter the words, “But that’s not fair.” As if fairness was a default setting, and due to some breach of security an unfairness has slipped through the cracks.

When you feel as though you’ve been treated unfairly, something wells up inside you that makes you resistant to the idea. You do not like being treated unfairly. In fact, the whole idea of any unfairness just gnaws away at everything you believe about what is right and what is wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. When you’re treated unfairly, it goes against everything you believe in and you get angry.

The rejection of any idea of unfairness usually can be traced back to unfairness you experienced as a child. This is where the idea of the injustice of being treated unfairly is rooted, and the angst felt by a child is much more fierce than one might expect from an adult. Depending on where your feelings about being treated unfairly originate, the younger you were when you came across the idea, the more negative feeling you will have about it in the present day.

When you are criticized, you experience a sort of flashback, triggering those early emotions and you feel escalated negative emotion. After all, you’ve worked hard to accomplish this – or that – and how dare some disrespectful ingrate insult all your efforts to bring this thing to this point. And you get pissed because of this injustice hurled by an unrestricted hater. “It’s not right. I worked so hard…”

Although, it is right; it is the nature of the world we live in. When a hater releases an outburst of hate, it’s actually a good sign indicating you are doing extremely well. Haters are what they are, and they will spew their hatred at any opportunity, and if a particular target might seem to over-react, or get their feelings hurt, all the better for the hater. That’s what they want. In order for them to feel good, they must make someone else suffer and feel bad.

When you are experiencing a level above average in anything you do, the haters start taking notice. This is the cue haters are looking for, always on the lookout for someone’s success, indicating to them that it is their job to knock them down a few pegs. If you are having a great deal of success or happiness, the haters start swarming. It’s nothing new, just a fact of life on planet earth.

There are reasons to expect opposition, such as

  • Seeing things from a different point of view
  • Differing ideas about values or morality
  • Everyone struggles with their own inner demons
  • Someone may act out on a stereotypical basis
  • They might be jealous of your success
  • They could be responding to a miscommunication
  • They might be misinterpreting or spinning your story
  • Maybe they just hate everything at every opportunity

Haters are not hard to find, they proliferate the Internet and social media lurking and looking for opportunities to spread their hatred far and wide, while they cower safely behind their technology. You can bet, if you’re doing something good, the haters are taking notice as you show up as a new blip on their radar.

Don’t look at it as being treated unfairly; instead try to think of it as a compliment.

Haters gonna hate. It’s a fact of life.

Everyone is entitled t their own point of view, and just as you have freedom of expression, so do the haters. There is no right or wrong in opposing points of view. It just is what it is.

Some people are going to love you and the things that you do, others… Well, not so much.

When you make a stand for something you believe in and you are disrespected or attacked by haters, it’s okay. Understand that their hatred has nothing to do with you. It is only the haters doing the only thing they know how to do, that makes them feel a little better. This is the pay off for them. They are in a constant state of pain and misery. Hurting someone else’s feelings is the only way they know how to get some relief because making someone feel bad makes them feel better. That’s all they know. Can you blame them?

Stomping Baby Turtles

Put yourself in their shoes. If you were in a constant state of pain, and the only way you could find relief from the pain was to stomp on a baby turtle, if the pain was great enough, you might be compelled to do it. And if you did and it made the pain subside, you might be more inclined to do it again. After a while, you may discover that if you stomped on many of them, not only would the pain subside, but you might even feel exhilarated and happy.

Likewise, when a hater strikes out against you, it really has nothing to do with you, it’s all about them, looking for ways to make themselves feel a little better. It’s the only thing they know of that gives them a sense of relief.

And what if you, too, are a hater?

If you are trying to get people to see a thing from your point of view, even insisting on it, aren’t you doing the same thing? If you don’t like someone the way they are, do you try to get them to change? If so, you might be a clandestine hater (though more subtle in your delivery).

Just because you see something from a different point of view does not make you right or someone else wrong. Be confident enough to share from your perspective, but allow them to see it from theirs. Don’t try to change their mind. Only they can do that. Simply humbly plant a seed and let it go. It just is what it is.

Practicing tolerance, not judging people, allowing them to be what they are, honoring their right to believe whatever they want to, and understanding that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have, will keep you on track to a brighter future.

Top 10 Manipulations

People who have suffered manipulation by another person often jump to the conclusion that labeling the manipulator as a Narcissist, Sociopath, Psychopath, or some other diagnosis along the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum is warranted. While manipulation is used by folks who are antisocial, we all use manipulation to get what we want, even with the best of intentions. It really comes down to motive, like, was the manipulation malicious in nature, or not?

We all learn from a very early age how to manipulate parents, caretakers and playmates to get what we want. It doesn’t make a child with keen skills of manipulation a narcissist; it just means that the child has learned, “When I do this, I can get that.” That is what I want, and this is the way I can get what I want. Manipulation is a learned behavior by experimentation.

Then sometimes we manipulate others to change their behavior or get what we want with the best of intentions. Though we don’t think of it as manipulation, any reward or punishment arrangement is clearly manipulative.

Our entire social structure is incredibly manipulative. We are all programmed to act, believe or think in a particular manner via manipulation by parents, teachers, and peers, local, state and federal governmental systems.

Top 10 Manipulations

1. Quid Pro Quo

Quid pro quo is a tool used by manipulators where an agreement is made whereby you agree to something (an action or allowance) in exchange for something in return. In an integrous agreement this kind of give and take is reasonable. The manipulator bargains for something now from you, with a promise to provide their part of the agreement in the future. Manipulators often promise, but rarely keep their word for their part of the bargain, but are quite satisfied that they got what they wanted.

2. Just Do It

Manipulators often exercise their desires without prior approval because they see a potential negotiation as problematic. Their mantra is, “It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.” They are likely to either do something – or not do something – with little regard for others, insisting that “The past is the past,” and it’s, “My bad.” so just get over it and forgive me (or not).

3. Complimenting

Stroking your ego is a method employed by manipulators to get what they want by getting you to let down your guard. Most of us have a degree of low self esteem and we all want to feel good about ourselves and an unsolicited compliment can make us more amenable to manipulation while reeling from the praise (just enough to lower your guard) from the manipulator.

4. Conditional Performance

Conditional performance will find the manipulator rendering something promised, owed or otherwise due to you with conditions. They are using their expected and reasonable action as an opportunity to further manipulate you, with a covert indication that there may be a chance that the manipulator may withhold or not keep their part of the bargain.

5. Spotlight

A manipulator will put you on the spot by asking you for something in front of other people because you are more likely to agree in an effort to avoid any sense of conflict when other people are around.

6. Guilt

Guilt is an effective tool used in manipulation, whereby the manipulator suggests that you owe him/ her, have previously agreed to, or if you do not do what they want you to do might indicate you are noncompliant or lack morality.

7. Building Trust

Building trust to achieve a desired outcome is another manipulation tactic by setting you up for the manipulation well in advance. Through a premeditated succession of demonstrations creating affinity and trust, so that when they ask you for something, you are more likely to concede.

8. Fear

Fear of loss is used to manipulate you by making you believe that if you do not provide or do what they want, you will suffer some kind of loss. They suggest you will fall victim to some peril, punishment, or loss of personal freedom, whether the impending loss is factual or just a fanciful, unrealistic threat.

9. Compromise

Using exaggerated bargaining the manipulator will propose or ask for something over the top knowing that you will disagree to such a thing. Once you’ve adequately expressed your disapproval, the manipulator proposes a more palatable compromise, to which you are more likely to agree to, when the “compromise” is exactly what the manipulator wanted in the first place.

10. Not Asking

By not asking for something the manipulator uses the power of suggestion to get you to do or provide what they want. An extreme example would be the tearfully disturbed wife and mother says to her son, “My life is so awful, if only he were dead.” followed by a long, uncomfortable pause. The mother did not ask her son to kill her husband, but the son understands the underlying meaning and he replies, “I could kill him for you, but I wouldn’t want to run the risk of spending the rest of my life in prison.”

The hope is that early detection combined with a better understanding when you are potentially being manipulated, you can assert and protect yourself.

Even so, if you are a victim of manipulation, do not let it get to you. Try not to take it personally, because it doesn’t have anything to do with you. The manipulator is only doing what comes naturally to them. It has nothing to do with you. You were an innocent bystander selected only due to the fact you were in the right place at the right time (or the wrong place at the wrong time). If it had not been you, it could have been anyone. It had nothing to do with you, personally, even though you may feel the manipulation was targeted at you.

Forgive yourself, receive the learning hidden within the manipulation, and live a better life.