April 2017 Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of April, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

How Do You Know When You’re in Love? Your Growing Awareness and Others Change Your Life
Big Boys Don’t Cry But They Should Truth and Integrity Flip the Switch
The World’s Best Kept Secret Are You Hiding Your Treasure?

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

Finding Peace in Chaos How to Be an Expansion Explorer Living Dead and Resurrection
The Basis of True Forgiveness Why Is Love So Hard? Spring Cleaning Your Life

Ch ch ch Changes

Defending Your Self Join the Witness Protection Program
The Trajectory of Personal Growth and Change  Is Materialism Blocking Your Efficacy?

Signs of a Bad Relationship

10 Ways to Increase Your Performance

How to Work a Room

 

How Do You Know When You’re in Love?

You’ve been seeing this person for a while and things are going well. So well, in fact, that you start to ask yourself, “Am I in love?” If you start asking the question, there’s a good chance you may be falling in love and you start looking for signs you’re in love, but how do you know when you’re in love?

Signs You’re In Love

You think more about them than you think about yourself

If you find yourself going through the day thinking or day dreaming about them and find you are projecting them into your routine when they’re not around, then you might be falling in love. When you love someone, when you’re shopping, you might wonder what he/she might link about what you’re thinking about buying. Little things, like driving by a billboard will make you wonder what he/she might think about that, or passing a cineplex and you find yourself wondering which movie he/she might enjoy seeing with you. If you are finding yourself thinking about them in these little ways (without obsessing), there’s a good chance you are in love.

You’re love lab’s chemistry kicks in

There is no doubt that love is a science project on crack. If you’re in it, the mad scientist inside you is pumping all kinds of chemicals racing through your heart, mind and body, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopresson, creating the same sense of euphoria as taking a hit of cocaine. You really are high on love. You find yourself feeling happier and more confident when you are thinking about this person and find yourself feeling even better when you’re anticipating being in their presence as your chemical sense of attachment increases.

You put up with them, gladly

He or she may not be perfect, but you love them just the same. This is a healthy balance, being able to see their quirks and find them somewhat endearing, instead of putting them down for their flaws. You don’t think they’re perfect, only that he or she is just perfect for you, with all his/her shortcomings. If certain characteristics are less desirable than others, you are able to point them out to each other in a healthy way and help each other refine yourselves as you desire to grow and become better versions of yourself. And those things that make you smile or laugh at yourselves (because they’re so cute) as both of you stumble or find yourselves in awkward situations that could have been handled better, this is more positive than ridiculing or judging your partner and demanding change.

You are growing and changing

When people fall in love, they don’t just adopt the other person’s likes/dislikes. Instead, they each desire to become better versions of themselves as they begin to look at life with the support of their loved one and you begin to change. Your daily routine(s) and habits change noticeably. You find yourself more aware of how you spend your time, and you are finding better ways to maximize the precious moments you have available and are motivated to work on your own shortcomings and developing your individual characteristics. You are more comfortable with life, and are likely to find yourself finding ways to contribute to your community and make the world a better place.

You are more apt to compromise

Not only are you considering the thought of compromise, taking the thoughts and ideals of your loved one into consideration, but you’re not self-sacrificing or falling into martyrdom as you seek to negotiate to arrive at win-win solutions, so that you both get satisfaction from the resulting agreement. Being iin love with someone means you can actually feel good about the process of compromise and arriving at a mutually beneficial conclusion and being fair in your negotiations. One person should never be making all the concessions.

You enjoy celebrating his/her wins

When your lover gets recognized for doing good, or achieves a significant goal, they are excited. You find yourself celebrating equally (or possibly even more) when they accomplish something that even you may not have been able to do so well. This is in contrast to when you see someone else honored or rewarded, which makes you feel competitive or question their worthiness. You have a sense of pride in their success and are proud of their wins, having the same feeling(s) that you might have for your own offspring. It’s as if both of you are sharing the same accolades together.

You share mutual respect

When you’re in love, you love and respect each other, which is definitely a higher calling than just enjoying someone’s company. You are outgrowing the friend zone and are interested in seeing how far this relationship can go. When you have high regard for who they are as a person, you really like them and they are clearly feeling the same way, then you know you’re falling in love.

You miss him/her when he/she is not around

If you are feeling a bit less independent, desiring to spend more time with your lover, missing them while they are away, without going off the deep-end, you might be developing a bond with this particular person. How much you long to be with someone when they are not around might be a way to measure your love for this person as you are developing a committed relationship.

You want your people to like him/her

You are concerned about how your family and friends feel about your lover. You want them to accept him/her because you want all your highly regarded important people in your life to be happy with this person, welcoming him/her to play a more integrative role in your social circle(s). If you find yourself presenting your partner in a good light to your peers and defending their integrity, you are climbing the scale of love and developing a healthy attachment that may stand the test of time.

You might feel the occasional twinge of jealousy

As your relationship with this person becomes more desirable, your particular sensitivities towards them and their continued safety and well-being will make you more inclined to entertain a bit of jealousy based on your interdependence and trust. You are not inclined to mistrust them or be suspicious of their covert activity, more so you have a concern for their well being in a world that is unpredictable because you would hate to see them suffer any inordinate challenges, or be involved in an accident. Unhealthy jealousy, based on low self esteem and insecurities marked with suspicious activities such as checking their cell phone or browser history is not considered as love so much as it is obsession. If its love, you will maintain a healthy concern based on your trust, mutual respect and love for him or her, not entertaining the green-eyed monster because they might be sneaking around or someone might steal them away.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Your Growing Awareness and Others

A new day has dawned and you’ve found yourself on an expanding journey of personal growth and a blossoming inquisitive nature you could have never imagined as you were before you embarked upon this expedition. Along the way you’ve been beckoned by the universe to become a seeker or truth, which has rocked your world. The things that you once held as infallible truth are appearing to not hold up in the light of your expanding consciousness.

You’re learning more about yourself and the world around you (and possibly even vastly beyond these perimeters) and you’re finding meaning in your position in time and space.

As you continue upon your path to somewhere else, you notice the people who were in your life have chosen not to follow their path, have decided to stay behind, and they and their influence fades away. You know it’s probably better that way, because as you are peeling back the layers of thought and programming, they’d rather not hear about it anyway. You can remember a time when you, too, felt safe and secure in the dark murk and mire of socialized belief strategies, and today, it’s difficult to imagine trying to play the game, like that, anymore.

Life as we know it begins to take on new shape and form as our preconceived ideas are challenged and either strengthened or destroyed. Our relationships and friendships are subject to this new vibration and if the destruction takes a loved one you experience the pain of separation, but life holds something so much greater ready to emerge from the ashes. Loss, change and new life are all important components of your awakening.

Your interest is piqued by travelers who have forged ahead, documenting their steps in their journals and telling their stories giving you insight to your own yet unforeseen road trip. You pay attention, but do not follow, because you are forging your own path. Your journey is not based on anyone else’s journey as you understand to truly achieve your highest and best, you must find your own way.

You are aware that society uses a variety of devices to distract you from your enlightened exploration and ensuing expansion. While unbridled access to important information can accelerate your growth, it may also prevent it, especially if you can be overwhelmed by frivolous and deceptive data. Deceptive devices of the day include cell phones, tablets, personal computers and the Internet, with more devices being introduced on a regular basis to further impede human evolution.

As your consciousness is expanding, you should be developing your intuition which will help you to interpret data and add to your overall experience as you are becoming more in tune with the inner compass of your heart, as well as enhancing the connection between our heart and mind.

Love is a huge part of my life’s purpose and most (if not all) of us have a huge longing for love. This longing to be loved, or feel akin to another, can lead us into relationships that may not be in our best interest, including groups and individuals. This can also be a distraction from continuing one’s focus on their individual journey by trying to share steps with another traveler or group of travelers. This could lead you off your path, onto someone else’s, or could lead to your own stagnation.

Though you need not be the lone wolf, you can find like-minded people on similar paths and enjoy their presence, sharing information and edifying each other’s journey along the way, while being aware that self preservation is the key, which could have outsiders confused about who you are at any given time. Why? Because the thought police will find difficulty in determining your state of awareness and mental capacity as they are being trained to keep an eye out for folks who stray from the herd. Due to where you might be amidst your own personal journey you could be diagnosed with anything spanning from depression to narcissism. This journey is a process which can have any of us anywhere along the spectrum as we continue to learn and grow in faith and intuitive heart-connected awareness.

Celebrate your uniqueness and individuality and integrate with the herd as necessary along the way, while staying keenly aware of your own progress and those who may be inhibiting your growth and your progress can lead to achieving your highest and best.

 

Change Your Life

Are you ready for a life change?

I’ve seen many people who have led lackluster lives change their lives drastically. You may be finding yourself in a position of thinking that your life would be better off by making some significant changes in your life. Are you ready to change your life?

Do you really want to change your life?

Having a high degree of motivation in changing your life can be the fuel you need to make changes which may be well outside of your comfort zone. Let’s face it, change can be scary business. Changing your life is going to be a contrast to the life you’ve come to know and find comfort in up until this point, regardless of how dysfunctional it might be. When your desire to live a new life outweighs the comfort (complacency) and safety (we have a sense of feeling safe living a life where we know what to expect, even if it’s unhealthy for us, at least it gives us a feeling of being safe at home even amidst the familiarity of the chaos) of your old life, you are ready to try something new.

Why do you want to change your life?

Changing your life is going to take you into unfamiliar territory. It is unlikely that anyone would embrace making massive changes in their life if they didn’t think change would be beneficial. Wanting to take action to change your life is the opposite of complacency or accepting your lot in life. You have a knowingness there is a better life waiting for you on the other side of change, regardless of your motivation. You may find you motivation to change powered by an epiphany, a personal breakthrough, enthusiastic love, or desire to make a significant contribution to your community or the world. Or you might find yourself motivated by loss, economic struggle, battles with family, social conditions, addictions, trouble with the authorities, or by judge’s orders. Whatever your motivation, you’re thinking life will serve you better if you could find a better way to live it.

How much change do you want to make?

The combination of why you want to make changes in your life (motivation) and how you want to change your life results in deciding what changes you actually want to make. Is it time to make Ch ch changes in areas of life, such as your demeanor, apparel, lifestyle, partnerings, friends, phone number or address? Has the time come for you to make such a drastic change so as to move far away from your old life and its location in order to turn over a completely new leaf, reinventing and exposing a new you that is in huge contrast to the old you?

What would a drastic life change look like?

Before you go making changes, it’s a good idea to have an idea of what your new life might look like, though in some cases, you may not have the chance to plan for it, because sometimes you might simply wake up one day alerted by your consciousness that your are amidst a massive change, whether you like it or not. If possible get a good idea, or clues, about what your new life will look like. After you start making changes it’s good to be looking for markers or indicators that you are on the right track which will get you to where you want to be.

Make the change

You have the awareness and you’re take action and making changes. You’re eyes have been opened and you’ve embraced a new outlook on life. You’ve taken control of your life and changed it for the better. You are moving forward, enjoying and tracking your progress as you go. From this vantage point you can look behind you and see where you’ve been, then look forward to see your trajectory of personal growth and change. The contrast between our old life and your new life is clearly impressive and you are proud of the progress you have made. It feels so good to have embraced the change and you have great confidence in, and appreciation for, the great turnaround you’ve made. You’re to be commended for making your courageous change.

How do you know your life has changed?

As you look around you, everywhere you look, everything looks so dissimilar to the life you lived in the past. Your whole world has changed. The thoughts which preoccupy your free moments are different and your internal vibration has changed, so the people who are appearing in your life also share a similar vibration. Your home looks different, if you haven’t moved altogether to a completely new location.

How long will the change last?

People witnessing your transformation are amazed at the noticeable difference. The people from your past are wondering where you are, what are you doing… and they’re wondering how long it will be until you return to your old life. Likewise, the new people who are supporting you in your new life will be hopeful that your new life will overcome any attachments that might be dragging you down, causing you to fall back into your old life. It doesn’t matter to you what they think as your self-assurance and confidence is high. Then something happens: You find yourself facing an unforeseen challenge. What will you do?

Fighting for lasting change

When you’ve decided to make significant changes in your life, invariably there will be occasions when you will find yourself amidst life’s battlefield, battling against forces that may cause you to retreat back into your old life. Though there may be forces your battling outside of yourself, your most difficult battles will be fought from within you. You will discover hidden underlying emotions bubbling up and demanding your attention, and you can try to push them back down, but the only will return with greater intensity. Lasting change will only come from overcoming your own demons though a succession of battles, which if you are victorious will solidify your new life.

Anticipate more change

Now, that you have emerged the victorious warrior, overcoming the hauntings of your old life, don’t get too comfortable with your new life because even at this stage an even better life is calling for you to live your best life which is yet to come, and you can make the world an even better place than it is today.

I wonder what lies ahead for you.

Big Boys Don’t Cry But They Should

Young boys are programmed not to show emotion as they are growing up, and this programming has been so effective that by the time they are adults, they have become rather emotionally numb and passé about things that might cause them to experience negative emotions, primarily sadness, as it signifies a lack of strength or weakness. To shed a tear is to expose your vulnerabilities, which is undignified, so we train our young men by instilling the mantra, “Big boys don’t cry.” And, for the most part, they comply.

The men in our world, at least 80 percent of them, don’t cry. They bottle up their sadness and lock it away inside to exude more strength, which is a virtue sought after by the opposing sex. This primal instinct makes men more appealing to women, who instinctively are attracted to signs of strength in a potential mate. This instinct hearkens back to a time in the early dawn of man and persisted until about a hundred years ago.

What happens when men withhold tears for years and possibly for a lifetime?

It’s no surprise that men who hide their emotions and pack them down into deep recesses of their mind are potentially walking powder kegs, that could explode at any moment, and many of them do. The explosive nature may express itself in extraordinary fits of rage, which can fuel a soldier to commit honorable acts of violence or create a domestic violence offender. To mitigate the growing pressure, these men may seek refuge in alcoholism or drug abuse to stave off pent up emotional outbursts.

Not crying comes at a great emotional cost and generally results in a shorter lifespan. Human beings who cry occasionally, live longer than their dry-eyed contemporaries.

In contrast to men, women cry more often and live longer than their male counterparts, but if they cry too much, they may find themselves at risk of being diagnosed with any of many neuroses, while women who do not cry might be considered as suffering from alexithymia.

Holding back one’s tears can be likened to willfully and slowly ingesting poison which will result in death, though abstaining from crying can be advantageous, especially in times of crisis. In emergent situations putting off the onset of tears can be hugely beneficial in crisis management and in such professions as military service and law enforcement. In these cases, an emotional release should be encouraged following the sounding of “all clear” or cessation of the crisis.

Refusing to cry and continuing to bottle up your emotions causes stress on the entire biological system and leads to a greater risk of heart disease and premature deterioration of brain function and health. Not crying will also make you more irritable and vulnerable to headaches, high blood pressure, and depression.

Crying is a good thing

The shedding of tears is an essential part of dealing with the wide variety of emotions that we all are blessed with. The ability to cry due to emotional triggers is what separates us from the other lifeforms on this planet, it is an exclusive human gift to be revered. Tears can be an important tool in processing excessive emotions and are likely to appear (if you allow them to be released) in both times of extreme emotional pain or happiness. The enormous outpouring of emotions such as love, compassion, reverent appreciation, or loss can also trigger a tearful emotional release promoting better mental and physical health and well-being.

Even though societal constraints or upbringing may make a tearful expression seem uncomfortable or awkward, nothing could be better for you psychologically and physiologically. Crying is an effective transitional response between emotional overwhelm and a sense of calm, or peace, following a good cry.

Crying allows the release of pent up emotional storages, which are harmful to us as tears release toxins in the body, leading to better health and longevity.

Maybe it’s time you let a tear or two fall, or enjoy a thorough release and let all those emotions careen down your face. It’s okay.

Big Boys Should Cry

and you are blessed if you can.

Truth and Integrity

What is integrity? What is it? How does it work and what does it mean to different people in their quest for truth?

Integrity and what it means can look very different, depending on who you are. Integrity is remaining congruent with that greater part of you while maintaining an authentic representation of your self with respect to your journey.

There are very few (possibly no) universal truths on which we as the human race can all agree. Nevertheless, you and I maintain truths that are apparent to each of us, and even these are subject to change as we grow and change. Even two people can view the same incident and report what they’ve seen very differently, based on their perspective and their own life’s experience and language patterns. Unless they have some nefarious motivation their differences are not considered untrue. Just because you’re interpretation of something is different from someone else’s does not mean either one of you, or anyone else is a liar.

It’s highly unlikely that two people could possibly write the same report word for word regarding any incident witnessed due to the fact that we are different people and we all see things differently based on who we are. Our lives, experiences and what is meaningful to us varies immensely among our population, The onus is on you to determine what is truth to you. Certainly there are people who have researched and specialized in different disciplines, but it is up to you what to adopt as truth to you at any given time, remembering that this is always subject to change due to access to new information. Therefore, what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you today.

Being true and congruent with what you currently believe while honoring the right of others to have a contrasting belief is the integrous approach to evaluating truth. You are not responsible for what another person believes. There is no need to change what they believe, as it is up to each person to make their own way and discover their own truths along their own individual journeys.

Your personal vibration and your intuitive heart-mind connection will help you to determine what truth means to you in any given moment, understanding that truth is ever-evolving, there may be moments of uncertainty during the reevaluation process. The more in tune you are with your heart’s frequency vibration, the faster the evolvement of your truth. As your personal vibration continues to raise, so will your perception of higher truths. Temper this personal growth with tolerance, allowing others to do the best they can with what they have without judgment.

An integral portion of your life’s purpose is to observe, nurture and maintain your expanding vision of truth, utilizing your heart’s connection to source to help you discern advancements and their validity to your consciousness.

As you adopt new revelations you may be compelled to share your new insights with others. By all means do so. But do not insist that anyone else see things from your perspective. Let others take what they resonate with as they plant and care for it in their garden of truth. Allow others to let your other seeds of truth which they are not ready for to fall on the ground. You never know which seeds left unattended on the surface will germinate and grow on their own.

Our world and our connection to it is changing. The archaic institutions and systems of control (including our imposed belief systems) are losing their effectiveness and validity. New, expanding and evolutionary thought is the key to the sustainability of our future. You are an active part of this evolution which is taking place at this moment.

Your contribution to help in making the world a better place is discerning your own truth as it emerges and becomes refined in your heart and mind. Being congruent to this process of revelation in integrity is imperative to your ability to contribute.

None of us holds the entirety of all the truth. Each of us maintain our own specialty and only together can we achieve a better understanding of emerging truths, and when we unite in love, together we can achieve a higher vibration and evolutionary expansion affecting the whole world.

Flip the Switch

When you find yourself amidst a bad experience, drowning in a sea of despair, sinking in helpless solitude and it seems as if all hope is lost, flip the switch.

I’m not suggesting a lackluster or empty parroting of, “look at the bright side,” that would be disrespectful. I do not disrespect your pain, I honor it. And so should you. It is in these moments that we are transformed into a higher version of ourselves. Not to sound cliché, we grow and expand through the pain, where we meet an enlightened, newer version of our self on the other side of tragedy.

A Tale of Two Vics

Vic is a forty-year-old Cancer patient, who lost his wife. She died last year of advanced liver disease which was undiagnosed until in its final stages. He confronts his son who is also reeling from the loss of his mother and encourages the reluctant youth to find joy in life and go to the prom. The proud father finances his son’s tuxedo and is happy seeing his son embracing life as he and his date go to the prom. That was the last time Vic saw his son alive, as they were killed in an auto accident. After laying to rest both his wife and his son, Vic all but left his life, as he hid inside his home, until his lifeless body was found.

Another Cancer patient also named Vic, whose wife committed suicide following his diagnosis, following his son’s death, killed by a drunk driver, found a renewed sense of purpose, answered the call and started a local crisis line, created a parent-founded limousine service for local high school students, and travels the country giving hope to those whose lives have lost any sense of reason… and his Cancer is in remission.

One Vic is the victim, the other is the victor. You choose which Vic you will be, even if you cannot find a way to resonate with such a thought when embroiled in the passion of the moment.

When you are in the eye of the storm, it is unlikely that you can see a way out, and it appears there is little hope of the storm passing.

If you are faced with life circumstances that appear to be insurmountable, this is the calling forth of the hero who lies dormant within you. This is that critical moment in time, will you fall victim to the circumstance or rise and find a way through the challenge to emerge passionately victorious, a light to others who would otherwise be lost in the darkness of the deepest moments of life’s night.

All of us face these moments. What will you do? Will you collapse in sorrow, a victim of allowing the victim’s mentality to overwhelm and engulf you until there is nothing left, or will you answer the call and emerge victorious?

All you need is a few precious moments to gain enough perspective and composure to attain enough balance to launch your process of dealing with and overcoming the challenges. You can do this. You were born to face this moment and you were given all the tools necessary to deal with every obstacle you encounter in this life.

All you need you have and it is available to you now in this moment. Do not disrespect the bad things, instead flip the switch and find that small ember and nurse it into your barn-burning celebration.

If we embrace the bad things that we encounter throughout our life’s journey, and move on through the transformative movement, we can be the lighthouse to others lost in the storms of life.

You are the lighthouse.

The World’s Best Kept Secret

You are the world’s best kept secret.

While you navigate and interact with the world as we know it, you do your best to understand other people whom you meet along your journey. You watch, listen and even try to put yourself in their shoes in an effort to understand them, and in some ways we can find ways to perceive or understand them, but you can never truly know them. How do you know? Because you are the world’s best kept secret.

No one knows who you are

When you think about it, no one can ever really know who you are. Even if you try to be totally transparent and open, revealing everything about yourself and going through rigorous efforts to try to get someone to understand who you really are and what you really think or feel, it is impossible to relate the totality of your personage to another person because

No one knows what you think

That part of you which is boundless exists and thrives in the intimate spaces between your words, actions, biochemistry, and other methods of observable communication occupied by you and only you are your thoughts. Nobody knows what goes on inside that head of yours; no one. You are the personification of the idea that, “Still waters run deep.”

No one knows what you feel

Everything that you experience or feel in this life is not simply the observation of life though your five senses. Your feelings, the way you feel about something, or the nearly unlimited array of feelings that only you can feel cannot be authentically understood, felt or known by another person. Not even the world’s most attuned, sensitive, empathetic being can know the breadth of feeling as can only be experienced by you.

You hide behind your disguise

You do, I do, and we all hide behind our respected disguises. We represent ourselves to our communities as we might like to be perceived. We allow different versions of our selves to be revealed (or more correctly “projected on”) to others depending on the level of intimacy we maintain with the recipient of each particular projection.

Still we try to know someone else

Even though each one of us holds our inner most thoughts so dear, never to be fully shared with any other human being, still in our desire to connect with others, we imagine we can see into the life, heart and mind of someone else, even when we know this degree of intimacy is highly improbable. We have impeccable knowledge of the impossibility of anyone else knowing us fully, yet we hold onto the illusion that we can know someone else and act surprised when we witness some unexpected personal revelation. This dichotomy is referred to as asymmetric insight among the mental health community.

And we want to be understood

There is a part of you that wants to be understood, yet no one could possibly know you. And if given half the chance, even if you could allow someone to see everything inside of you, you wouldn’t willingly allow it. But, you do have certain parts of you that you long to share with another person who resonates with your perspective; someone who would agree with you and support your point of view, if it could understood as you understand it without judgment. We all seek this harmonic balance with another being.

Tolerance is the key

So the key to this conundrum is tolerance. The idea that, “I am me and you are he and we are all together,” such as conceived by John Lennon in his cryptic song in which he dons the disguise of the walrus, refers to us. We are all what we are, that is all we can be and we can only do the best we can with what we have. We all suffer from the same human condition and the best we can do is to understand that we are all okay.

If you want to be honored for who you are, the only way to have any hope of being respected by anyone else is to first honor others with the same respect you might like.

No need to make it so complicated.
You are one. And so are we.
We can do this.

Psychopath Victims

In our complex and diverse society, psychopaths can be found among us, lurking in the shadows, preying on unsuspecting individuals. However, what often goes unnoticed is the minute and unique segment of our culture that comprises the victims of psychopaths. These victims navigate a challenging path to recovery, marked by distinct stages on the psychopath victim recovery spectrum. Unraveling the mystery behind these stages can empower us to identify potential victims and extend a helping hand in their journey towards healing.

The Psychopath Victim Recovery Spectrum:

Shock and Denial:

The initial stage on the psychopath victim recovery spectrum is characterized by shock and denial. Victims may struggle to accept the reality of their situation, clinging to the hope that the psychopath’s actions were a mere aberration. Identifying individuals in this stage requires a keen eye for subtle signs of distress, such as increased anxiety, withdrawal from social activities, or difficulty trusting others.

Anger and Betrayal:

As the shock wears off, victims often transition into a stage of intense anger and betrayal. They may grapple with the realization that they were manipulated and deceived. Recognizing a psychopath victim in this stage involves observing heightened emotional responses, outbursts, and a profound sense of injustice.

Grief and Depression:

The next phase involves grieving the loss of trust, innocence, and sometimes, financial or emotional stability. Victims may experience deep sadness and depression as they come to terms with the aftermath of the psychopath’s actions. Indicators of this stage include prolonged periods of withdrawal, loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities, and a pervasive sense of hopelessness.

Acceptance and Empowerment:

Progressing along the recovery spectrum, victims reach a point of acceptance and empowerment. They begin to reclaim their lives, rebuild their self-esteem, and learn from the experience. Identifying individuals in this stage involves observing positive changes in behavior, increased self-confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Identifying Potential Psychopath Victims:

Changes in Behavior:

Watch for sudden and unexplained changes in behavior, such as social withdrawal, mood swings, or a noticeable decline in self-esteem.

Isolation:

Psychopath victims may isolate themselves from friends and family, fearing judgment or believing they cannot trust anyone.

Hyper-Vigilance:

Victims may exhibit hyper-vigilance, constantly anticipating harm or betrayal, as a result of their traumatic experience.

Difficulty Trusting Others:

A profound difficulty in trusting others, even those close to them, can be a clear sign of a psychopath victim.

Assisting Psychopath Victims:

Provide a Supportive Environment:

Creating a safe and non-judgmental space is crucial for psychopath victims to share their experiences. Encourage open communication and active listening.

Offer Professional Help:

Encourage victims to seek professional therapy or counseling to navigate the complex emotions associated with their experience.

Educate on Psychopathy:

Help victims understand the nature of psychopathy, emphasizing that they were not at fault. Knowledge empowers victims and aids in the healing process.

Promote Self-Care:

Support the development of healthy coping mechanisms and self-care routines to foster emotional and mental well-being.

Conclusion:

The victims of psychopaths occupy a unique and often invisible segment of our society. By understanding the stages of the psychopath victim recovery spectrum, we can better identify and assist those who have endured the devastating effects of psychopathic manipulation. Through empathy, education, and a commitment to fostering a supportive community, we can contribute to the healing and empowerment of psychopath victims on their journey towards recovery.

 

 

Are You Hiding Your Treasure?

I have the privilege (if I can call it that) of knowing a few people who have an enormous amount of financial resources held in secret. These are people who have millions of dollars invested and hidden away from view of anyone. By examining their lives, there is no way you could possibly conceive of the idea that any of these people might have any more financial resources than you. If anything, looking at the way they live, you are more likely to think they have much less than you, and you may feel compelled to offer to buy them lunch, or offer them a few dollars to help them out, because while they are likeable and have a great deal of potential, they seem somewhat pitiful and you feel sorry for them.

Here are people who have millions (I refer to demonstrable wealth), yet they live the lives of those less fortunate. Why would they do such a thing?

It’s not unreasonable to judge them, or jump to conclusion about why someone might live such a life, because if it were you or me, we would be thinking about enjoying some of that hidden treasure. We think that it would not be unreasonable to live in a nice house, drive a nice car, have some nice clothes and a few baubles… a few modest luxuries would not even make a dent in this pile of hidden wealth. Not to mention the incredible good that could be done. How many people could be fed, housed, healed, or otherwise helped with some of these resources, which remain hidden from the world?

If we are aware of their state (or acting as if they are in poverty, but secretly maintain huge hidden financial resources locked away in a vault in a non-disclosed location), we might refer to them as miserly, or possibly consider them mentally challenged or deranged. If anything you might think they must be extremely fearful about money and its effect on the human condition. And to think of the consequences, these vast financial resources are so well hidden, that even in the passing of these individuals, friends, family, spouses or no other human would possibly be a potential beneficiary of their undisclosed wealth.

When I met the first person, living a incongruent life, like this, I thought he was probably the only person in the world with this particular disorder. But since then, I have met several others, some in my pastoral work and another through the results of an extensive private investigation.

What are your thoughts about this kind of individual?

When I see something in someone else that irks me, gets stuck in my craw, makes my skin crawl, or causes me to raise an eyebrow, maybe not initially but as quickly as possible I try to gain enough composure to ask myself if I am witnessing a metaphor of my own life.

Do I possess treasures that I harbor from my peers?

What skills, talents and ideas do I possess that I keep hidden from others? What am I fearful of, that if I disclosed or demonstrated it, might not be understood or valued (as much as I value it) by others? Is it possible to consider that the effects of what I might have to share (which I am reluctant to do) be less than possible for others to accept, or may have a negative effect in or upon the lives of others? Do these or other questions and/or fear keep me from sharing it with others?

This applies to you and I, and we think there is something so romantic about the idea of Clark Kent or Diana Prince. If only we could maintain a low profile secret identity, offering the ability to live a normal life, while being able to fully exercise our abilities as Superman or Wonder Woman (but we, too, are afraid, inhibited or feel unworthy).

The individuals on which this thought was based, certainly have mastered their secret identities, but have created identities that are as protected as are their hordes of financial cash, and there is a sadness that comes from seeing all that potential good go to waste, only to be inherited by an off-shore bank by abandonment. We think what a waste.

Likewise, what a waste it is for you or me to not share our hidden treasure(s) with our communities or the world at large.

Is the time now that you start to find ways to release some of your hidden treasure, to find ways to share it that may benefit others, possibly even positively affect or even save the lives of others?

If it is time, know this: There are people out there, like me, whose mission in life is to assist others in releasing their treasure and letting their light shine, like a beacon of hope to others.

You are not alone.

Do not die with your treasure hidden away, with no possibility of making the world a better place.

The world needs you now.