Communication in Difficult Circumstances

Since we are sharing our planet with other people, all of whom are on their own individual journeys, many, if not all of them, are dissimilar in many ways in comparison to you. If you have chosen to start thinking for yourself and separate yourself from the masses, then you are becoming even more unlike them. Yet, the fact remains, we are all here, doing the best we can with what we have and must find way to use our words to bless those around us.

No matter where you are in the river of life, you need to find ways to integrate and communicate and play well with others. You must navigate and maintain a variety of levels of relationships. The key in maintaining effective relationships is finding ways to communicate and connect with others in such a way as to thrive effectively among the landscape of this life. A landscape sprinkled with a wide variety of opportunities to interact and commune with others in your family, with your friends, community, while pursuing your vocation, delivering your message, while sharing your skills and abilities, giving your gifts and blessing others.

How you respond to those who will challenge you, berate or threaten you will depend on your ability to communicate well and choose your words wisely, or to refrain from speaking altogether in a moment that would not benefit from your spoken word.

Find ways to find a place of love and peace within yourself, regardless of facing insurmountable odds or managing difficult situation or people, while maintaining the wherewithal to control your emotions and words when others might have fallen to lesser vibrations of prideful conflict.

You will never be free from the emotional challenges that face others, but you can live and manage your life in such a way to minimize exposure to and the impact of these challenges. Try as you might, you will occasionally face situations where you find yourself in a difficult situation. In these moments, you might find some of these ideas helpful, such as

Firstly, avoiding the lure of defending yourself, your ideals or beliefs about certain emotionally charged subjects, like religion or politics. You are not here to defend your beliefs or challenge anyone else’s. You honor everyone’s right to find their own way, and expect the same respect in kind, that is all. Listen, if you like, but do not debate. Debating only widens the gap between polarities, only love closes the gap. If it conflict looks unavoidable, leave the room, or otherwise excuse yourself or find another place to be.

Don’t attempt to change another person’s point f view, do not challenge their belief system, this will only trigger their base emotions crating in them the need to bolster up and defend themselves in a fight or flight reaction. In the fight-fueled combat, things can get very dicey, dark and evil, for at the most instinctual level, they will defend their position or fight (even if metaphorically) with their life’s blood. Your battle is not on the playing field of others, your battles are fought within.

If someone is in the habit of presenting you with conflict or urging you to defend yourself, do not fall in their trap or challenge to a duel. Some people derive a sense of power by causing others to falter or destroying them altogether. They will do whatever they can to throw you off track. If this is the case, find ways to establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself from such predatory abuse.

Above all live a live of tolerance, understanding that everyone’s world revolves around their own individual perspective and beliefs about how the world is. None of us has all the answers and we all are at various stages among our own quest in the pursuit of freedom, happiness and truth. Bless everyone at whatever stage they are and love them regardless of where they are on their journey, or what destination it appears they are enroute to. Do not measure your stage in comparison to anyone else’s. Every journey is a journey of one.

See only the good aspects of others, even if they are challenging or threatening you. Remember that their approach to you is based on a life of programming that has resulted in this attitude or outburst. It is likely that they are harboring a deep, dark past, and withholding emotions that has caused a chain-reaction, displaying itself in a moment of weakness. Do not pity them, but honor them for making it this far, and hope they find better ways to express themselves in the future. If not, bless them anyway.

Remember there are no good people or evil people, everyone is only seeing as they can through the eyes of the man or woman they have become, which is based on so much programming and life experience in varying degrees of positivity and negativity, every moment of every day is a constant struggle for survival, especially for the greater portion of our population. Love them, where they are.

Know your limits, and look for clues that it’s time to look for an exit. Better to avoid a battle than engage in it. For what good is it to risk your reputation or your well being, or to damage someone else’s? You have a higher ideal and calling. It is better not to engage, unless it is completely unavoidable.

Avoid finding the need to assign blame when you find yourself in difficult situations, and be gracious and kind even when facing someone who is enraged. Let them express themselves, and if it’s too much to bear, just walk away, loving them as you do so.

Sometimes a light-hearted sense of humor can break the negative state of an adversary. Some people are gifted with this mechanism of knowing a funny thing to say that is non-threatening but breaks the negativity enough to cause the other person to make adjustments to their tactic, possibly abandoning the conflict altogether.

Surround yourself with supportive, positive people to help you keep an even equilibrium in your social surroundings.

Life is a journey. Try to make the best of it you can by getting along with those around you. People are watching you. You may be the inspiration for others to try to get along with others in their lives too.

Loving first is always the best approach to any potentially negative situation.

How Do You Feel About Things?

How you feel about things in life greatly influences your general state of mind. For the most part, how you feel about things dictates what kind of life you will live, how healthy you will be and how long you will live. Mental and physiological health is keenly attuned to how you feel. The people who have control of how they feel about things, maintaining a more positive outlook, experience a more stable emotional vibration allowing them to have more happiness, good health, love and longevity.

If you are actively taking responsibility for living a better life, you are looking at your mind/body/spirit dynamics and taking care to optimize your life and lifestyle. You’re more conscious about what your relationship with your body is like and you’re more attentive of the food you eat, maybe you’re exercising more, spending more time with Mother Nature, you are taking a more proactive approach to how you conduct your life, but are you making the effort to control how you feel?

A healthy holistic lifestyle includes influencing, taking more personal responsibility and being conscious about your intellectual and social health, physical health and the health of your emotional state. How you feel about things, your emotional state, greatly influences the health of all the other areas of your life.

Life brings you a great deal of opportunities to negatively influence how you feel about things. There are our familial and social relationships and interactions with other people with whom we do not maintain a relationship as life goes on all around us. Other opportunities to affect how you feel include your vocation, finances, your health status, concern about your community, and the world at large.

If you are to get a grip on how you feel about things that are presenting themselves to your awareness, you are more proactive about taking responsibility for what you are exposed to, if you are able.

The amount of stress you are exposed to can have a huge impact on how you feel, so managing stress is a key component in feeling better about life in general. Stress reduction should be of primary concern for establishing a better emotional state and by exposing yourself to fewer stressful situations, you will feel so much better about what life presents to you.

Many techniques are readily available to reduce, manage, or eliminate stress which is felt physiologically including meditation, breathing exercises, positive affirmations and visualization. Only you can determine what best suits your personal taste and resonates with you.

Eliminate media exposure to things that make you feel bad about life, the government or your safety. Most media comes packaged with an infectious negative vibration which affects how you feel about things. Consider turning off the TV, avoiding negative news and Internet feeds, by taking a media hiatus.

Guarding your thoughts to prevent you from focusing on things that are negative will go a long way in feeling better about life. Avoid negative self-talk, which leads to poor self esteem and diminishes confidence, making you feel helpless, if not hopeless, about your life.

Start reprogramming your mind positively. Get into a routine of reciting positive affirmations, and honoring yourself by speaking words of kindness and love about you, who you are, how blessed you are, and how your life may be a blessing to others. As you retrain your mind to think more positively, you will feel better and your physiological health will also get much better. It is a fact of life.

Learning how to let go of negative emotions, like uncertainty, sadness or anger, is hugely beneficial because if you hold these feelings inside they deplete your immune system and you become more susceptible to failing health and disease.

Finding a confidant who you can trust and talk to, as well as writing out in a journal how you feel about things negatively in the past as well as in the present, or even things that may be looming in the future, can be an effective key to releasing pent up negative emotions.

These practices in self-care will make you feel better about living a better life:

  • Engage in stress reduction techniques
  • Eat food that nourishes your body and exercise
  • Wind down and calm yourself for a good night’s sleep every night
  • Limit or eliminate exposure to negative news and media
  • Don’t put off dealing with issues you face in life
  • Practice positive and loving self-talk
  • Do something fun, that you like, every day

And forgive yourself for everything, for after all, you are doing the best you can with what you have.

Overcoming Addictive Behaviors

As you grow and expand into a more evolved version of your formal self, there is a compulsion to separate the new you from the old you and the trappings which have enslaved you, because nothing satisfies more than overcoming addictive behaviors and being the master of your own life.

Now, compulsory thoughts, actions and habits are appearing to feel more like addictions than enjoyable activities or pastimes, and you’re intrigued with the idea of moving forward in search of freedom from anything that might enslave or imprison you.

There’s little else I love as much as seeing one of my clients and friends overcoming the rituals or habits that held them back from their enlightened independence, and to tell the truth, I am excited that you have decided to let go of a particular addiction that you have in mind, right now.

You’ve thought about it. You have it in mind. You may have even voiced your thoughts or concern about growing beyond this to your friends and family. That’s a good move, because it raises the accountability factor, putting a little added pressure to your commitment to successfully putting this habit or activity behind you. Hopefully, your family and friends will support you in this evolutionary process, and this can have an amazing impact on your success.

You may have to make adjustments to your lifestyle to avoid exposure to the triggers which initiate the addictive response. You are more likely to resist temptation by taking the precaution of eliminating the circumstances (persons, places, things) which creates the compulsory desire to engage in the thought pattern or activity you’d rather walk away from.

For instance, if you are more at risk for falling off the wagon by attending a party, don’t go to the party, at least at first. The same goes for any other setting or environment that might cause you to lose your resolve or falter.

If you are facing with a long-time addiction, one that have become more and more powerful over time and you are having difficulty with letting it go, it might be a good idea to enlist the aid of a coach or counselor to partner with for your progressive personal growth on this leg of your life’s journey. Seek out someone who has the skills and tools necessary to help you achieve your goals.

Depending on your condition, you may seek out a support group where others who are successfully in the process of overcoming similar challenges in their lives, or an intensive rehabilitation program might be considered to be appropriate. Regardless of the methodology, the goal is to put you in control of your body and brain’s will, not the other way around.

You would not engage in activities and behaviors which control us and could be harmful to yourself, or others, if you did not derive some benefit from it. In many cases, if you find yourself in a stressful situation, a particular activity may offer a sense of relief or more calm state by engaging in it.

Find new ways to put yourself in a peaceful state besides engaging in an addictive behavior. You may be surprised about how much more emotional control you can exercise by living a healthier lifestyle including positive activities, such as aerobic activities, walking, jogging, working out and yoga. Living a more active life and eating a healthier diet can give you the hormonal advantage to beat any addiction.

Adopting a positive attitude and approach to living will empower you with the courage to enable you to face and overcome any addictive behavior which might challenge you.

Remember, it’s all about control; your control over anything that controls you, which is not healthy or beneficial.

Once you have garnered control of yourself, and have control over the mechanisms that formerly controlled you, you can begin to let go of the control to continue an even greater expansion.

Congratulations to my friend, Tony, who has recently found freedom from his addictions. He, and others like him, are an inspiration to others facing what may appear to be insurmountable odds.

God bless you in your overcomings.

Natural Pain Relief

Chronic Pain Management
(the problem)

For many people chronic or persistent pain can be debilitating. It can render you incapable of experiencing the good life that abounds all around you. Doctors can medicate you in such a way so as to keep you in a mild state of pain, which further limits your ability to find joy in life, but as soon as the drug wears off, you rush to the pain medication again for some relief.

The thing with drug interventions for pain, especially long lasting pain associated with some physiological trigger, is that it can develop an addiction or dependence on an unnatural substance which leads to liver failure and a declining overall health of your biology. In other words, the pain medication, while it does offer relief, is making you susceptible to contracting other disease, bodily malfunction and deterioration, and quite frankly is slowly killing you.

There are options for natural pain relief

Throughout my life, I have had the opportunity to respond to people who have suffered from persistent and chronic pain and offered some impressive relief. Successful methods of eliminating pain which were not associated with drugs or other medical intervention included prayer, meditation, positive thinking, hypnosis, life change (living a better life), and Reiki.

All of these are sound eliminators of pain which had been suffered as a constant or persistent state for long term victims of pain. Prior to these interventions, chronic pain victims could only mask their symptoms by maintaining a medicated zombie-like state. Though this is not much quality of life, it is far better than living in constant pain. Yet, these same people were able to start new lives free of pain and were able to reverse the process of deterioration resulting from the pain and its medical management.

And it makes me wonder…

Why is it that these alternate methods of eliminating pain (instead of managing it with drugs, which have known side effects, including but not limited to resulting in death) are not taught in the colleges and universities responsible for training our health care professionals?

While our medical professionals are trained on the body’s neurology and biology, the only treatments offered as solutions include surgery and drug therapy. While these can be necessary and prudent in urgent interventions, are they all there is?

Where are the classes being taught about other known and proven therapeutic models, such as prayer, meditation, positive thinking, hypnosis, life change (living a better life), and Reiki? (a short list of all the possible healing modalities that can be found all around us, yet ignored, if not shunned, by the medical community).

While my life’s work has been more focused on the human ability to change one’s life in a powerful, transformational metamorphosis, the modalities and therapeutic sciences I have trained in and use as tools to effectuate massive changes in neurology often are effective and also used to allow sufferers of chronic pain to let go of the pain, and live highly productive lives without pain and in unexpected states of fulfillment, happiness and joy.

Eliminate pain without the threat of deterioration or death?

I don’t know about you, but to me, this is a much better potential outcome to therapeutic intervention than deterioration and death by patented medication.

I am tempted to develop a support system for alternative therapeutic models that maintain a drug-free alternative to traditional medical practices. I call many of these practitioners friends, and I so appreciate their answering the call to follow these practices and helping so many people find a better life, without pain allowing them to find fulfillment, happiness and joy.

We can do this together

If you’re practicing an alternative healing modality, contact me. I think I can help you better answer your call and help to make the world a better place.

Blessings to all the natural, alternative healers.

Thank you for all that you do.


Where is Your Credibility?

The time will come when you find yourself with the potential to be in front of a microphone and/or a camera, will you be prepared? Will you have the credibility to be considered as someone whose opinion should be respected when your 15 minutes appears? The best way to be considered to be an expertise is to establish your expertise in any given area. Whether you’re in business, or not, people will either respect what you have to say based on your credibility or not pay too much attention, because you’re just a regular guy or gal.

The truth is, if you have something to say, and you want to be taken seriously, it’s on you to establish yourself as a credible source, and it’s even more important if you’re in business, to be not just associated with your brand, logo, or public image, but to be considered as an authentic human being with something to say or contribute in making the world a better place.

If you are considered to be a thought leader in your business, organization, or community, creating a empowering, positive environment for your credible team of leaders who should also be contributing. Though not a do-it-once-and-reap-the-rewards sort of deal, aligning yourself with credible thought leaders, and seeking to recruit passionate thought leaders establishes your inhabiting and developing a higher vibration. Be forewarned, finding a credible cohort is a constant moving target and you must be educated and proactive to find, gain and develop trust among your fellow leaders.

How you conduct your business affairs will determine whether you might be considered a thought leader in the local community or the world at large.

Some things to look for that set your leaders apart from others may be easily recognizable in their promotional efforts by reviewing their online content. An authentic thought leader will have a history of producing valuable content. It doesn’t matter where it is found. If could be in social media, blogs, audio or video streams, or other content online. You will notice these people influencing their communities.

And they won’t just be posting. You will find them interacting with their audience. And effective thought leader engages in two-way communication, not only lengthy monologues. You’ll see them engaging with their audience, even when it gets dicey, when encountering someone with a different point of view.

Look for citations. If you’re looking at an authentic thought leader, he or she will have been quoted or cited in the media, or considered a respected source by other publishers, in print, broadcast or online, as well as being the recipient of awards or recognitions that have been bestowed upon him or her.

Authentic thought leaders are both approachable and accessible. They will have connection methods whereby their audience or media contacts can have access to them, whether it be by email, social media or via phone. This approachability offers access to those whom they can help or share information as well as builds confidence that he or she is authentic and is compassionate.

So, how can you establish yourself as a credible source?

Well, you’ve already had a peek at what to look for in identifying a thought leader, and it’s not as simple as it sounds. It’s one thing to be passionate about something but is an entirely different concept to take an influential stance and offering input and interaction to the community at large. This is how thought leaders make a mark on the world, by sharing and interacting, and now you have all the necessary tools to accomplish this heat in your hands.

These are powerful tools, so use them wisely.

For instance, you must have an effective social media profile. You must maintain an online presence which represents your thoughts and ideals in online social mediums such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, etc…

As you establish your presence and share valuable information and interaction, you will create an emotional bond with people whom you can help, influence or even attract potential clients. Your interaction must originate from your heart, and not just to gain a paying client. The more you give, the more you will receive, but you must go about the business of giving, even if it is without reciprocity in the beginning.

How to Establish Your Credibility

Begin writing your thoughts, goals, ideals and share your unique perspective by posting on a blog you create for yourself. Be genuine and authentic. Make a commitment to post regularly. If you post on your blog for a while, then stop, you will not establish credibility as you will be seen as just a flash in the pan, without any real relevancy. Also avail yourself to comments and support.

Join an online group. Find places online where people gravitate and share who have a similar point of view as you do. Then interact. You may already have found these types of sites, but have only practiced in a voyeuristic fashion. Do not stalk the people you find interacting online, that is just too creepy. Establish yourself as a concerned member of the community and post comments of suggestions. Try to stay congruent with your image, and don’t let anyone catch you losing your cool (unless, of course, being frank, boisterous and a trouble maker is consistent with your brand).

Get citations. Not to be confused with traffic tickets, citations are your quotes that can be found in the media and attributed to you. Contribute to publications and sites with valuable “quotable” sound bites. Keep track of when and where your quotes are used. These increase your credibility.

Do not attempt to engage in any of these activities half-heartedly or just to cash-in or gain notoriety. People can tell if you’re a phony. And if you are a phony, you will just fade away like all the other people who tried to manipulate the Internet for their own devices in support of their narcissistic tendencies.

Place importance on your message, your personality, what makes you real. Avoid selling yourself or your services and you will build your credibility as an expert in your field.

Keep it up and it won’t be long, and you will be perceived as an expert by helping others, offering knowledge, original thought, encouraging and adding value to the otherwise mundane Internet.


Inner Child Tantrum

And then, totally unexpectedly, you burst into fight-or-flight, in an over-reactive defensive emotional outburst. After a moment, your state of mind relaxes enough to notice the expressions on the faces of the people witnessing your outburst; they must think you’re crazy. As you feel your emotions subside you’re wondering if you’re crazy, too. You know you were out of pocket, and can’t figure out what just happened.

Say, “Hello,” to your wounded inner child, who is throwing a tantrum.

Your inner child can break through and expose itself at any time, and usually expresses itself defensively, fearfully, frantically, or shamefully, in a way that is inconsistent with your normal adult state of being. Most of the time your inner child occupies the space in your mind and your heart but sometimes it breaks out in a way that encompasses your entire being.

Your inner child doesn’t always express itself negatively, it can also revel in joyous celebration in the best of times, but in most cases, your inner child hides in fear of being hurt due to wounds you may have suffered as a young child.

Since your youth you have grown into a strong adult and as you grew and matured your inner child fractured and found a safe place to reside inside you, so the more aware and physically demonstrable you could mature as you found your methods of interacting with your adult world in the most effective manner. Meanwhile, your inner child took the back seat.

Your inner child is content in hiding safely away deep inside you, but every once and a while gets it’s feelings hurt or feel threatened by something happening in your present and asserts itself, feeling its life is at risk or pitches a fit.

The inner child is always in a heightened state of awareness looking for potential threats. When something triggers it, he or she panics, initiating our instinctive reaction to either fight for life or flee in hopes of finding a safe retreat. In that moment your inner child has usurped your ability to cognitively manage your adult life. As you review the over-reaction, you can see there was no apparent threat, but your inner child perceived some detail that caused you to instinctively react as if there was a real threat.

When we are young, we find it hard to rationalize or make sense out of the injustices we suffer as a child. It isn’t long and we often realize that if we protest, we suffer negative consequences, so instead we learn to find ways to bottle up those fragile emotions and that part of ourselves which feels small and powerless fractionates from our conscious awareness and finds a safe place to hide inside of us. All that part of us wanted was to be accepted, loved, and protected, and even now, that’s all it really wants.

Therein lays the key to resolving the conflict between the adult rational part of you and your inner child.

You can give your inner child the love and acceptance he or she longs for and invite him or her to have an honored and safe place to live in your current world, where you can share life in harmony, no longer fractionated, safe and secure, with no need to hide.

What is Love to You?

You wake up one day, look up at the sky and ask, “What is love?” To you, it just doesn’t seem to add up. It turns out, love is not what you thought it was.

Love is not something we can put in a box, wrap it up and give it to someone, with the expectation to receive the same in return. Love is an elusive, wild beast that you cannot capture, harvest, or do with as you will.

Out of mutual respect, or fulfilling each others’ needs, we try to love, only to discover love is not fair. You can’t measure it, you can only treasure it, whenever and wherever you can find it, because no one knows better than you, it may not be here tomorrow.

Sure, you can create a construct of something based on the idea of love and call it love or whatever you want. You can try to reduce it to its simplest form, a contractual agreement is substance and form, but this is not love. This is a self-imposed prison sentence.

Higher than a mountain, deeper than the seas, love is all around. A powerful force of nature which cannot be contrived tamed or forced into a box. Love is in and through all things and when all of this is gone, love is the only thing that remains.

We want it, we need it. We spend our whole lives seeking love, or at least our idea of what we’ve been told love is. If love all it’s cracked up to be, then when you think you’ve found it, why are you not happy? When you’re in it, shouldn’t you be happy?

But, still, there’s something missing.

Even when it feels like love is lost and nowhere to be found, love is there. In the laughter and adulation, the pain and isolation, love is there. When you can’t feel it, see it or even imagine it being anywhere, there it is, in every breath, every heartbeat, every tear that falls, love is there.

Love is not sex, the idea of it or the pursuit of it. Penetration is not love. You can pierce the heart of another, and not break the law, but you can break a heart and leave love bleeding as you walk away from the scene of the crime.

You can buy, sell or trade attention or companionship, as long as you can afford the retention of relationship. But not love. You cannot legislate love, but you can amass a fortune or lose one in the name of love before the magistrate.

Love is tender, honest, brutal and cruel, yet the truth is, without love we wither and die.

Love can be the most amazing thing, sending our emotions soaring or the most destructive thing, sending you sinking to the depths of despair. The fury, the power of love is an unbridled lion seeking to devour the hearts of those in its path. Attacking, ripping, tearing you to shreds, then lovingly caresses and puts all your pieces back together, and you are better than before. The new you, sealed with a kiss.

Love doesn’t care who you are or about the things that you’ve done to disregard it or earn its reward. Love is always there for you and can be found any time you look for it inside of you, all around you, in the air or the absence of it, love is there.

Know this: Love loves you more than you could ever know. Love will never leave or forsake you.

Love is not what you’ve been told it was.

You are love, find the love within and nurture it. Let it burn, like a fire, let its bright light show you the way, and light the way for others, too. Love in all its power and glory waits for you to unleash it from within you.

Want to get to know love better?

Host or attend an Awakening to True Love Workshop.

Are You a Curious Cat? Ask Questions

If you are a curious cat, ask questions.

As evolved as you might be, no one could possibly know everything, and if you’re like me, you have a lust for understanding, knowledge and seeing things from alternate perspectives. There are some things that are not offered as college classes, and the only way you could possibly have access to this information is to research it on your own and to query others who may have some knowledge or information about any particular topic.

Don’t be afraid. If you’re curious, ask questions. This is a powerful approach to higher learning.

Are You a Curious Cat? Ask Questions
Are you a curious cat? Ask questions.

If you’re of the persuasion to be more curious than your peers, the way you go about asking questions can make a difference. Here are some things to keep in mind that will support your curiosity, without being offensive to those who may have the answer to your questions.

Think about how you like to be approached by someone asking questions. Who gets access to the best information? If you’re like me, it’s the people who have a connection with and care about me.

Be Authentic

You don’t want to seem like you’re an underground reporter for the National Enquirer. People who have access to information or experiences that few of the rest of us have access to are used to being queried about the surface questions, dirty secrets or tabloid-worthy aspects of their particular area of expertise.

Since they are used to having people inquire about their area of expertise, they are normally somewhat on guard and have standard surface replies or sound bites that satisfy the people who ask them questions about what they do, where they’ve been, or what they know. If you want to get to the deeper knowledge or meaning, you need to connect with them and gain their trust.

What Are You Looking For?

Have an idea about what you’d like to know. If you have time, prepare by getting some basic information on their area of expertise beforehand. The Internet can be a powerful tool in preparing you with the basics, as well as possibly indicating questions that others may have about the topic.

If most of your opportunities are spontaneous, you can use this opportunity to honestly state upfront that you are a novice in their area a expertise, and first desire to know some basics.

Exercise Humility

Try to ask questions that come up along the way, while remembering to find was to relate their area of expertise to their personal life, without getting too personal. Once they have briefed you on the basics, you can dig deeper because you are respecting their position as the master, and you as the learner. They are more likely to divulge more than surface information to someone who sees them as more of a mentor. So, honor them with this respect.

Never exert your expertise or knowledge indicating that you are to be considered a comrade on an equal level. There’s no more certain way to get them to not let you in too deep. Don’t challenge them or appear to be adversarial, rather take on the perspective of a respectful student and you will learn more by being humble.

Give and Receive

Certainly, when you are the inquisitor, you are receptive to any information you might be able to gain access to, but seek to give even more. While you may not be an expert in their arena of knowledge, caring about them as a person, and also showing an interest in him or her as a person can help them engage more freely and openly.

One thing I do when I am in a powerful opportunity to exchange information is to add value to them by being open to the idea that the person I’m talking to, the keeper of the information, can learn something from me, or see something from a different perspective, from engaging in a conversation with me.

Even though I might know very little about their area of expertise, quite often, their own knowledge can somewhat expand, and they might even be inspired to dig deeper or start asking new questions as a light goes on inside their head or heart.

Listen and Connect

If you’re blessed enough to be experiencing an exchange of information with this person, then by all means be very attentive and listen to what they have to say. Feed their own words back to them and try to put your own understanding into it to gain a better understanding of what they are saying. This also communicates to them that you are interested in what they have to say.

Active listening creates a connection between people. This connection will indicate you are not just out to obtain data, or are merely passing the time away. Connected people communicate on a higher level.

Is There Anything You Can Do?

As you are exchanging information with this person, be thinking about ways you can support them, their effort (even if it’s just emotional support and empathy), or know someone who might be able to help their cause. You want to be supportive. Your support is not just limited to you, your skills, abilities, or personal resources; it also includes your network of family, friends and other connections. You might be able to refer them to an article or book you have read recently.

The more supportive you are to them, the more likely they will be to continue the conversation. By being interested in, and offering assistance to them and their cause, the more likely they will be to offer to help you out, quid pro quo.

Keep the Door Open

Once you have made a connection with someone, keep the door open. In this day and age everyone is busy, if this person reaches out to you, do not ignore them. Don’t let them monopolize your attention, but keep in contact, briefly (use your resources, such as email, text or brief phone calls). By keeping the door open and maintaining connection, this may come in handy and put you in an advantageous position to be invited to participate in something, or be referred to someone, you might not have otherwise had access to.

If you put them off or ignore them, your connection is lost.

Keep asking questions. Keep learning from others when you have the opportunity.

Are You a Curious Cat? Ask Questions.

Make an Impact via First Impressions

When people have been exposed to you and you have had the ability to interact with them, what do they do when you leave the room?

While people will make a decision regarding you in as little as 10 seconds, are there ways to influence what they think of you in a good way, given a few more moments? It’s up to you.

Wouldn’t it be nice, if after you left they said good things about you, or at least mentioned that you seemed to be different, insightful or inspirational, or maybe you made people think outside the box, if only for a moment? That’s what happens when you make an impact in public.

You’re not drawing attention to yourself, or demanding anyone’s attention but you’re giving the most you can in the few moments of exposure you have with people who may not know who you are or what you do and making a good first impression.

What Turns Them On?

Find out what excites them and ask them about it. Listen to them and ask questions. If that’s all you do, you will make an impact. If you like, you can work in a little networking if you can think of a story that relates what you do or might like to say in a way that relates to what turn them on.

Edify Others

When someone does a good job or earns some type of accolade, don’t miss an opportunity to edify them, introduce them to others or thank them publicly, honoring their efforts. If you are seen as someone who appreciates the efforts of others and takes the time to honor them and have their moment in the sun, you will be revered as an edifier or cheerleader.

Whenever you hear of someone’s good deeds, by all means, find ways to recognize them and lift them up for doing good, or helping to make the world a better place. This will have a meaningful impact on the person you’ve edified, as well as the people who will appreciate your efforts to acknowledge and honor someone’s good deed.

Tell Stories

One of the best things you do is to be a story teller. Story tellers don’t just spill out the facts all over their audience. No. They tell stories with dramatic detail that sparks the imagination of their audience. With a little practice, you too can become a story teller. Think of colorful ways you can spice up what you have to say and hone your skill of storytelling to make an impact.

Be Creative

You can learn all the skills about how to work a room, and do the best you can, but don’t be afraid to try something new, that may benefit the people you meet, yet leave a positive lasting impression. Especially if you’re sharing the space with peer who may also be trying to make an impact, you need to think about how you can still make a positive impact in a way that sets you apart from the other people who might be working the room.





Put On a Show

You’ve seen people who garner the attention of a room by putting on a show of sorts, multiplying their networking efforts by turning their interaction with one person (or a few people) into a spectacle that causes others in the room to break from the conversation and look to see what’s happening over there. While this kind of theatrics might require a certain level of self-confidence, with a little practice, you might think of ways you could turn an impromptu demonstration into a method of getting people to wonder who you are and what you are doing.

Make Things Happen

Think about accepting opportunities, or volunteering, to take an active role in putting something together, like a group function or event. If the even or function is a success, then you will be recognized as the go-getter who gets things done and makes things happen. This is excellent public relations (PR) for which you can humbly accept the praise for a job well done on the behalf of others. This will definitely make an impact and you will be remembered for your efforts.


Dress Appropriately

Looking good and fashion appropriate for any event can help gain the approval of others when you walk in the door while schmoozing with the folks at any event. Try not to over-dress for the event because you don’t want to appear to be snooty. And even though under-dressing might make you stand out, the effect might not be what you’re looking for, and it can make it harder for you to gain the confidence of your audience if you’re inappropriately attired.

After all, ZZ Top said it best,

Every girl’s crazy for a sharp-dressed man.


Who Do You Know?

Think about who you know, how have they made an impact on your life? Think about emulating the techniques used by the people whom you respect. You don’t have to parrot their persona or hypnotize yourself to act like that person. Simply note how they interact with other people and see if you ca add some of those attributes into your character.

You Are One-of-a-Kind

There’s no one else on this planet who is just like you, so celebrate your unique characteristics and maybe think of a way to let your individuality shine through without overshadowing others. People will love you if you can come across as a real person who is authentically unique and self-confident with humility and grace, always leaving a good impression and making an impact.

Part of You is Dying

You’re growing, changing, taking responsibility and charge of your life. You’re embracing love, couldn’t feel more powerful, confident, open, honest and vulnerable… then all of a sudden, you feel overcome with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, sadness, depression or unexpected fatigue.

As you search and review the areas of your life, you can’t seem to identify anything going on to make you feel this way, and you can’t understand why you feel this way.

Don’t worry, this is completely normal as you are expanding and evolving onto a better version of yourself. These unexpected challenges in your personal growth are normal as you are experiencing a vibrational detoxification.

You (your being, the person you are, all the parts of you en masse) are the result of a lifetime of programming which includes toxic thoughts, beliefs, feelings and experiences which have survived and thrived, hidden (sometimes, not so hidden) deep inside you.

As you are actively growing and expanding these deep rooted toxins are struggling for survival. They have so integrated themselves into your life and attached themselves to certain parts of your brain or body, where they have been safely stored for years. Now, they are no longer congruent as you are expanding and evolving and they are not being fed by your energetic attentions. They are shrinking and dying of starvation.

In the toxin’s struggle for survival, they will initiate thoughts and trigger the release of hormones which affect your sense of wellbeing and initiate sensations of negative emotions such as fear, paranoia, depression, or may even cause physical signs of sickness as they are dying off, in a last ditch struggle for survival.

You may find yourself suffering from headaches, even migraines, back pain or other body aches and pain and/or flu-like symptoms as manifestations of the toxin’s effort to distract and crush your hope for continued expansion.

This is a normal part of your evolutionary process, which also indicates a pending successive personal plateau in your expansive process is not far off.

It is always darkest before the dawn, and a new dawn is about to crest your horizon as the new you emerges.

When your negative emotions are running high for no apparent reason, and your’re finding it hard to stay on course, following the path to your new life, you feel as though all your energy reserves have been drained and you are finding it hard to believe you could keep going on,


Even if you’re feeling like your decision to take this journey is for not, and you’re experiencing nagging second-thoughts about the person you’re becoming, second-guessing whether the changes you’re making are real or just fanciful imaginative exercises. This is the time to keep going, in the absence of the feelings, of feeling as though you were doing the right thing, to stay on the path of your personal evolution, in stark contrast to the person you were before. That person is dying, and you are shedding the old you, not unlike a snake sheds its skin… Only your old skin doesn’t want to go.

A part of you has become so attached to your previous version of self, casting it aside seems like a painful separation, casting off, expulsion, a death of sorts, as you are dying to self. This is the time to keep going, even if you feel like you just can’t go on, stay the course.

But how can I, when I’m just not feeling it?

Keep going anyway. If you keep doing good things, only exposing yourself to positive information, media and influences, finding ways to think food thoughts, even if you’re not feeling it; stay on track, and that part of you that is protesting and struggling for survival will die off in the battle of old you vs. new you.

After the new you has survived this victorious process of growth and change, get ready. Something so powerfully new and amazing is waiting to take its place as the newer version of you expands and grows even more.