Month: June 2017

The Power of Oh Well and Not Caring Too Much

One of my mentors has a specific mantra that protects her from all things that might otherwise be frustrating or stressful. I told her she should write the book and teach her technique all over the world (if she does write the book, please think about picking up a copy for yourself to learn how…),

She has mastered the art of, “Oh well.”

She has associated her state of being to go to a calm and peaceful state any time she utters the words, “Oh well.” So, when she starts to feel a drop in her vibrational frequency, if she is able she utters the words, which immediately takes her to her safe place.

While this is an extremely effective way of centering herself in seconds, the effect on anyone else within proximity may not see the benefit and may even be offended by her ability to not engage in the proposed negative vibration or thought pattern.

How often do you see, hear or read about disturbing news that makes you feel bad?

How often do you report your negative findings to someone else?

Why do you do it?

Because when you feel bad about something you’ve just learned about, you have taken on the emotional weight of the bad news, lowering your vibration. You want to get rid of some of the emotional weight in an effort to raise your vibration, so you don’t feel so bad. You do this by reporting the unsettling information to someone else. If they feel bad about what you have presented to them, you feel better, because you have effectively transferred some of the weight of your negative emotional weight to the person you’ve told and you feel better.

When you’ve met someone who doesn’t take the emotional weight that you’re trying to ride yourself of by feeling badly, this doesn’t make you feel any better, and you are likely to take offense to their not receiving your negative vibration. In this case, you might even plead your case reinforcing your negative vibration about the bad news in an effort to convince the other person to feel obligated to feel bad about the negative news you’re trying to release.

If this person is positively resilient (like my mentor) you are likely to feel worse about the negative news, because you’ve sunk to a lower vibrational level in your attempt to convince the other person how bad this news is. This makes you feel hurt or angry and want to strike back at this positively resilient person who refuses to compromise his or her vibration. If you don’t say it, you’re likely to think that this person is an insensitive or uncaring individual. And if you’ve said something to that effect out loud to someone like my mentor, you may get a response, something like, “I care, but not too much,” which reinforces their positive position, and doesn’t offer you much comfort because they still are refusing to join you in your misery.

That said, a better approach is for you to not get so agitated, upset and angry at bad news to which you are exposed. This variety of negatively impacting data you are exposed to can be anything from your own personal experiences of being victimized and pent up frustrations about work-related or social injustices to watching the news or worrying about something you have little or no control of. Letting these things build up inside you will drain your personal resources, lower your vibration, and left untended to may lead to frustration, anger, feelings of helplessness, depression and possibly even suicidal thoughts.

What can you do about it?

You can take full responsibility for your own mental state, like my mentor does, by controlling how you feel about anything you are exposed to. Another thing you could do is to purposefully not expose yourself to undesirable information about things over which you could not possibly have any control over. Not submitting your emotional state to negative influences, can be as easy as turning off the TV, or especially avoiding the CNN (Constantly Negative News) feed.

There are other activities you can engage in that will support your vibrational state positively. Doing so will raise your emotional vibration and also your quality of life.
You can raise your vibration by learning how to find an emotional state of peace using relaxation techniques or meditation. Getting out, taking a walk or engaging in a bit of exercise for as little as seventeen minutes will raise your vibration and make you feel better.

Being mindful about the food and nutrients you are putting in your body will help maintain your positive personal natural resources, increasing your immune system and giving you the raw materials to respond better to stressful influences.

Pay attention to your emotional state, review how you are feeling, and if you’re not feeling on your game, take time out to make yourself feel better by engaging in an activity you enjoy or puts you in a more positive vibration.

If you’re feeling down, stressful, or sense your vibration sinking, put your hand on your heart, focus your attention on the area of your heart and take slow deep breaths as you imagine your breath going in and out of your heart, for seventeen seconds. This will help to center you emotionally and allow you to have a better perspective by neutralizing your otherwise negative emotional state.

When someone tries to unload their negative crap on you, learn to shrug it off with a little, “Oh well.” And if they protest, back it up with a bit of, “I care, but not too much,” and enjoy the benefits of your new heightened emotional state, and
Be happy.

Looking After Yourself

We all pretty much do look after ourselves to some degree. We exercise, try to eat better than we might if we didn’t care at all, try to treat others politely or with kindness, but often neglect the other part of us that need tending to as well. Maybe it’s about time to think about looking after yourself more.

Start off with looking at ways you can honor your vessel, the body you were given to experience all the good things this life has to offer. The least you could do is to treat it like a car that you love, or even better, like the priceless treasure that your body is. While you might take your car in for a nice detailing, your body might be worth a little pampering too. Think about treating it to a massage, or a visit to the spa.

Hold sacred space aside for you to honor yourself. Make time to relax and settle into a peaceful state of mind. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, even if it’s only 17 minutes out of your day. This seventeen minutes is your sacred time, without interruptions. You might enjoy just closing your eyes and practice deep breathing, getting in tune with your heart or inner self. Just try it and see how this little, sacred space in time can affect the whole remainder of your day and your life.

Inside each of us is a little child version of us who longs to come out and play every once and a while. Honor this part of you, there’s no need to deny him or her, he or she is a part of you, so invite him or her to come out and play with you. Try to find occasions to make time doing the things that you used to like to do when you were younger. Remember the things that brought you joy in your youth? It’s different for all of us. It could be anything from riding a merry go round to playing ancient video games, and anything in between. Make time for your little guy or gal to come out and play.

Find your safe place. It could be a physical safe place or a safe place you can find in your thoughts and mind, where you can immerse yourself in the comfort of security. It doesn’t have to be a safe room or stronghold. You might find this level of safety and serenity soaking in a bubble bath, curled up in a comfy blanket listening to your favorite tunes, inventorying memorabilia, or reading a book accompanied by the dancing light of a scented candle. Whatever it is for you, wherever it is. This is your safe place, make time for it.

Think about taking the time to dream, daydream, or creative visualization. Using the creative power of your mind and imagination, you can go anywhere and do anything. This is youthful and powerful art that is often abandoned as we get older. When you were younger, the whole universe was at your beck and call, using the power of your imagination, and it still is. Look for opportunities and take the time to rekindle the flame of your power of visualization.

Every once and a while, schedule yourself for a Me Day. Make this day (the whole day, or at least a nice, big, fat piece of this day) all about you. Set aside a specific start and end time, and just get away. No thoughts about the cares of life, things that get you down, worrying about this or that. Just take the day and allow yourself the mental break from anything that might hinder your possibility of having the best time with yourself, and have fun being you. No judgment, just have a good time. This is your day.

Take a break from procrastination. We all have stuff that we’d rather put off ‘til tomorrow, and we know for some things, tomorrow never comes. Not this day. Just like you would take a day for yourself periodically, same goes for something that you might be putting off. You will be surprised how good it feels to do that thing you’ve been avoiding. Now you don’t have to carry around guilt about it any longer. As a matter of fact, you could do the thing first and celebrate its completion with your Me Day.

Go to the park or the beach and kick your shoes off. Take a hike in the woods, or whatever is your fancy, but connect with Mother Earth. Find the time to take a break surrounded by her magnificence, the green grass, the pebbles or sand, the sound of lapping waves or birds chirping. Take a dog for a walk. Don’t have a dog? Borrow one from a friend or neighbor. This is a great way to put yourself in a position to receive energy from Mother Nature.

I hope these ideas inspire to spend time looking after yourself more. You will be amazed at how much this will raise the frequency of your life, and better prepare you to enjoy all the good things this life has to offer, and by all means, be creative and come up with even better ways to look after you.

Here’s looking at you, kid.

Loss Bereavement and Your Broken Heart

Every now and then, Wham! Life hits you right between the eyes with something so unexpected and shocking… it’s so hard to comprehend how something so horrific could happen to you. It’s not like you’re a bad person, you’ve done nothing to serve this, you’re a good person, and it’s not like it’s the first time. But, now? Really?

You’re first thought is that this will be impossible to survive, and you’re in so much pain, it’s as though your heart is bleeding, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it just stopped beating altogether. And if it did, at least this pain will have ended.

It could be that someone you love has passed on, you could be suffering from a heart broken by someone you loved dearly, or you may have suffered falling victim to some other unforeseen incident. Nonetheless, here you are in possibly one of your deepest, darkest moments, and you’re feeling bad, lost, isolated, and alone.

What are you going to do about it?

You basically only have two choices, to allow this life event to overtake you, to sink into depression’s bottomless pit, or to let this thing flow over you, get back behind the wheel and continue to live your life, taking back your control, expanding your mastery.

Grieve? Absolutely, let it out. Give yourself time to honor this event emotionally, then pull yourself together, and get back to the business of life.

You never know what life is going to throw at you, when, where, or to what extent. I mean, I’ve been fortunate to be living a long, eventful life, while I had to lay to rest a 20-year-old son. I’ve loved and lost, have known all kinds of betrayal, and for some reason, my life keeps going on. I’m not saying my life is better in any way than anyone else’s. In some ways, it doesn’t make any sense to me at all; why God would take Aaron and not me. But I owe it to Him, to keep on keeping on, honoring each precious moment that He gives me. So, I pick myself up, dust off the ashes, and keep moving.

When you’ve been hit by the loss of a loved one, you are going to experience the pain of loss, and this pain can be overwhelming. There is no doubt, your grieving will take time, and there is no limit on the time that will be necessary for you to grieve, only that you must, and only you will know how long it will take; most likely, not at the outset, but closer to the time when you begin to see the light at the end of grief’s tunnel.

Be aware that your emotions will run the gamut; everything from the initial state of shock, an isolated numbness and a foreboding fear, to anxiety, anger, and broken heartedness, just to name a few. All these feelings are part of the grieving process and are the gateway to the other side of grief. It is how we honor those who are lost, their impact on our life, while we heal the best we can, and find a way to go on. If you are fortunate enough to have someone who has offered their shoulder to lean on, please do. Sometimes people are brought to us, to be there for us in our hour of need. These are the unsung angels, respect them and lean into them, when you need to or when you can.

Another curve ball of life could find you face to face with a life-threatening disease for you or someone whom you may love dearly. This, too, can be a tragic, traumatic life event, that can send you reeling in fear and helplessness as your life spins out of control, and even denying any truth of the matter, until getting a grasp on the painful reality of it all. Denial can take many forms, and in fact, I have known people who have refused to accept any such diagnosis, and in this respect, the denial of the existence of the fatal illness actually led them to full recovery. It’s somewhat of a tightrope to walk, one the one side, you need to accept the severity of the situation you are facing, on the other, you need to take dominion of what ails you if you hope to conquer it. Either way, you will need to search deep within yourself as well as reach out to your network, your support system which has been attracted to you just for this challenging time.

And if you’re facing the tragic end of a romantic relationship, especially if you’ve been together for many years and may have children involved, it can definitely throw you for a loop. Even if you’ve only been together for a short while and there are no kids involved, you can still find yourself suffering traumatic challenges in finding ways to cope with the loss. Just like any other kind of challenge, you find yourself facing fear. Fear of what is happening, fear of wondering how this ending is going to play out, and fear about how this will affect your future. You’re likely to find yourself struggling with feelings of betrayal and abandonment issues. All this is not restricted only to romantic relationships, but could extend into other relationships as well, including family, friends, and co-workers.

Again, you have three things necessary to deal with these – or any kind of – unexpected crisis or life event.

1: Time. Time to work it out in your head and your heart.

2: You. All the tools and equipment that you need have been placed safely inside you, safely stored away, waiting for you to access them in your time of need.

3: Others. You will notice others who have been attracted to you in your life to be there at the right time and place. Please do not fail to keep an eye open for the unsung angels who have been brought into your life for just this moment in time. Reach out to them.

And have faith that all things come together for good, for you, in the end; if only you can make it to the other side. From this new vantage point, you will be able to see the blessing that was hidden from your view, while you were struggling with your challenge.

Find Greater Meaning In Life

It’s easy to go along in life, just going on about conducting the business of day to day life, not cognizant that you are part of an incredible grand scheme and the part you were destined to play, is absent from the performance.

Yet, the part, written especially for you, remains an integral part of the story waiting to be told; a historically significant contribution, without which the performance loses its sheen. It’s true, the show will go on without you, and someone might fill in, in your absence, but it’s just not the same, if the person for whom the part was written, will not play their part.

For the most part, you are not responsible for playing your part, because up ‘til now, you didn’t have any idea that you had a part to play. But, now, as you read these words you feel your calling awakening inside of you, and you have an inkling that there is more to this life, and more and more, you are having the feeling that there is something else that you could be doing.

You spend a third of your life (or more) working, a third of your life (on the good nights) unconscious, and the remaining third of your life trying to find some relaxation, entertainment, or method to pass the time, like watching TV, Netflix, playing interactive video games, engaging in social media, or getting lost amidst the information superhighway; and this is our life. Every day, somewhat similar to the day before ad infinitum.

But wait (you say), I do get a vacation every once and a while to do something else. Right? True, but even those brief sabbaticals don’t seem to offer the satisfaction for the smoldering fire burning within you. These embers, though forgotten and neglected, can never be totally extinguished, because it is the underlying reason behind your birth, the experiences you’ve accumulated ‘til now, and the mission that awaits ahead of you.

There is no fault in not finding the meaning for your life, as society is ill-prepared for handling any number of enthusiastic individuals seeking to fulfill their unique life’s purpose. So, this part of your psyches is muted by exposure to various toxins, pathogens, and social mores.

But every once and a while, an inspired dreamer breaks through the veil and asserts their passionate prose.

You can fan the flames of your inspiration by looking at spending some of that third of your life, when you’re not sleeping or working, engaging in activities that will help you find a deeper meaning in life.

Find a subject that resonates with you, some topic that you find exhilarating, and make yourself an expert on that topic. As you dig deeper and demystify this topic, you will gain a sense of satisfaction in self-exploration. Beyond the satisfaction of learning something new (and not being told how to think about a particular topic from someone else’s point of view), you are exercising your brain in a way that returns it to a more youthful state and you begin to re-engage your sense of wonder. These research activities could include learning new skills, engaging in a new hobby, or pursuing a different career path.

You can apply new relationship strategies and higher degrees of connection and love to your existing support system, while exploring your community, or the community at large, for opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals, like yourself.

While you may spend most of your life trying not to draw attention to yourself (this is usually due to a fear of failure, or lack of self-esteem), maybe now is the time to think about taking on a challenge that will stimulate you and give you an opportunity to exercise your voice of individuality.

Being willing and able to have the courage to take a risk, pays back satisfying rewards for daring to accomplish something that may have intimidated your peers. It is in these moments that we support our inner desire to reach outside of ourselves for something that may not have been otherwise possible.

This creation of opportunities to engage activities beyond what we might consider safe, often leads to supporting the greater good, helping others less fortunate, or inspiring others to reach for higher accomplishment or meaning in life.

Moving outside your comfort zone might even include getting out more, leaving town, and exploring life from different geographical vantage points. Exposing yourself to new experiences, in new places and seeing things from different cultural perspectives can lead to your expansion of consciousness.

Above all, be open, supportive, loving and kind.

Am I Too Stressed Out?

I think we all can agree that stress is not a good thing, yet we all seem to be exposed to it, and some of us give a great deal of attention and dedication to stress, and for these people they will have short, potentially miserable lives, with a long bucket list of items they regret having not attended to.

Even though we are all subject to stress, there is a spectrum of response to stress, with extremes on either end. On the one side there are those who simply shrug off any potential of stress and it has little or no effect on them. On the other end of the spectrum, are victims of stress who surrender to all the overpowering negative influence of stress to subject them to suffering and depression, leading to the demolition of the autoimmune system and a shorter lifespan.

The struggle and strain associated with just trying to get by, can be too much stress for the average human being to sustain a long life, and certainly keeping any hope of fulfillment or happiness at bay.

I don’t know if anyone is immune to stress, for there is situational stress which is the result of circumstances which have placed someone amidst and whirlwind of incongruent thoughts about a particular situation that significantly challenges a previously tightly held belief, or instant radical change in lifestyle. This is considered short-term stress, because it represents a specific moment in time which is not prolonged, but like being subject to a gun-shot, grenade, or a bomb, the exposure to the stress is certainly short-term, but the post traumatic stress associated with this single act, can have long reaching implications if one suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which can have far-reaching life-long negative effects on both the psychological and physiological health of such a victim.

Nonetheless, there is a general consensus among our peers, that if you are a victim of a situational circumstance exposing you to what would be short-term stress; you should just get over it, and move on. To people who subscribe to this category of thought, they believe the damaging effect of stress should be limited to the exposure to the stressor. For instance, if you were hit in a crosswalk by a drunk driver, the specific incident was brief, and would certainly subject you to stress. As a victim of this incident, you are allowed a reasonable time to recover from your injuries and the stress associated with this unfortunate event. Six to nine months is considered reasonable. Any pain or suffering beyond this time period is regarded as potential mental illness.

This is a disrespectful pile of crap. We are all different and we all deal with stress in different ways. This should be respected, and for someone on one end of the spectrum to mock someone else on the other end of the spectrum is not only immature and disrespectful, it defines you as barbaric, and void of human empathy.

Long-term stress (where the victimization or suffering has taken place over a prolonged period of time) is honored with more time to recover, recognizing the acute nature of being subjected to the stress over time affecting both one’s body and mind. This expanded exposure to stress can allow a disproportionate amount of anxiety, loss of self-esteem, depression, paranoia, and potential panic attacks. Though extra time is allotted for recovery, it is not proportionate to the allowance of recovery ratio bestowed upon short-term stress victims.

Stress Exposure Recovery
Short Term Minutes, Hours, Days 6 to 9 months
Long Term Years 1 year

It’s easy for someone on one end of the stress reaction scale to insensitively accuse someone on the other end of the scale of being “weak,” because they would just shrug it off as “no big deal”, or from the other end, “insensitive,” because to think the very incident which was considered as no big deal, would have been devastating to someone one the other end of the scale.

There are certain indications that you are experiencing the effects of stress in your life, which might indicate the need to take countermeasures to find a more healthy balance in your life, they include

  • Dry mouth
  • Clammy or shaking hands
  • Discomfort of pain in the area of your stomach
  • Attaining a calm state of peace is not likely possible
  • Changes in body temperature, from hot and sweat to chills
  • You’re feeling as though your head is being squeezed in a vice
  • You feel your energy levels are declining as motivation dissipates
  • Challenges with focusing on daily routines, or interactive communication
  • Itchy skin (or more severely, feeling like bugs are crawling beneath your skin)
  • There is a foreboding, ominous sense of something being very wrong looming over you
  • A feeling as though you’re experience a difference in heart reaction, i.e., slowing or speeding of heartbeat or beating harder or softer than normal
  • You experience sleepless nights, kept awake by relentless disconnected thinking, even though you are tired
  • If you manage to get a good night’s sleep according to the clock, you wake more tired than you were before going to bed
  • Activities and things that once made you feel good no longer do

These are just a few of the common indicators of stress getting an inordinate grip on you, and should have you thinking about finding ways to de-stress, and or start paying attention enough to consider trying to live a more stress-free lifestyle.

There is no dishonor in reaching out to someone who is equipped to help you on this part of your journey. We all need a helping hand sometime.

You are loved, and a brighter future is waiting for you. Your life has meaning and the world needs you, now more than ever. Do not let stress keep you from achieving your highest and best as well as receiving all this life is waiting to give to you.

What Do You Want More Than Anything?

If you’re anything like the people that I encounter in my life on a daily basis, you’re answer would be,

“I just want to be happy.”

With everything that we have today, tablets, cell phones computer, WiFi, facebook, Twitter, SnapChat and the many other conveniences we have. It wasn’t that long ago and none of this existed and if you would have brought it up in conversation, people would laugh at how preposterous the idea might be. Even after having gone to the moon, and watching the fantasy TV space-western, Star Trek, they still laughed.

Now, only a few years later, we cannot conceive of life without everything we have instant access to, how we are all connected, no longer separated by distance, geography or time zones.

Yet, it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you’re barely making it on a minimum wage job, or a multi-millionaire, if I ask you what you want more than anything, if you dared to be honest, you would say,

“I want to be happy.”

Happiness is that illusive state of heart and mind that few of us are able to entertain for any period of time. Sure, we’re able to find things which bring us happiness, it is not long and these things which once were so sparkly and exciting, lose their luster and no longer make us feel good, and we seek some other form of happiness, or after a while, we might even give up on the idea altogether.

After a while, if you’ve all but given up on the idea of having any degree of happiness, you might think that no one has your back, you’re unable to trust other people, if you see other people being happy, you think they are delusional or faking it.

It’s difficult to get a grip on the idea of happiness, because it means something different to every one of us. And then you might actually be quite happy, but aren’t afraid to perceive your own happiness. We’re so busy relentlessly running the rat race, that we can’t possibly slow down enough to smell the roses, or even have the time to think there are roses at all, except for some inspiration for romantic poetry.

The pace of life, the calling of technologies clamoring for our attention, the stress of the struggle to survive and just make it through this life as best we can, keeps us from enjoying what we do have and joy floats further and further away. You might be surprised, if you could take a sabbatical from these constant pressures of life, you might be able to find enough peace and calm, to appreciate what you do have.

If you are but a victim of life, you need to find a way to stop life from having this power over you… and this also looks very different to different people. You need to carve out a place for you to enjoy some peace and contentment, keeping in mind that the things that bring true happiness may not be as large, expensive, or far away to find great joy in them. If you had the time and peace enough to appreciate them, you might find (as others have) that happiness can be found in the smallest of things.

So, whenever you can find even the smallest sacred space to ask yourself the question (maybe now) ask yourself, “What makes me feel happy?” Or, if you dare, ask yourself, “What could I be doing, right now, that would bring me joy, and make me so happy?” The answer to the second question is your happiness wake up call.

If you want to be happy, you need to take responsibility for your own state of happiness. It’s up to you to determine what you want, where you are, where you want to be, and to take the action necessary to move you from here to there. No one else can make you happy (you may have learned that the hard way). You must do the work to get there; it is all up to you.

You know what happiness is to you, you know what makes you happy, just by the thinking of it. Your heart, your feelings do not betray you in your quest for happiness. These feeling are your compass that you can use to guide you to what your heart desires and brings you a great sense of meaning and happiness. And you might find that these things are neither expensive, nor difficult to attain, but you must take the action to vector in the circumstances and opportunities for you to be in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind to manifest and experience your happiness.

No fairy godmother can wave her want and magically make you happy (at least, not for long). Your journey to attaining your personal state of happiness is on you, and you alone, and within you are all the tools and resources you need to make it happen.

Find opportunities to be happy in all areas of live, including family life, work environments, in nature or in the adoration of a pet. Seek happiness and put yourself in the stream of it (as it is flowing all around you) and you will find yourself in the flow of it, instead of watching happiness flow all around you.

Your Superhero Story Part 1

(Insert your first and last name) was born to parents (mother’s name) and (father’s name) on (insert date of birth) in (insert name of place of birth). No one in (insert name of place of birth).was any the wiser, for on that date and time in that place in space everything appeared to be normal in every way. Although (insert your first and last name) seemed normal, no one had any idea (he or she) would one day save the world.

(Insert first and last name)’s world went on in the usual way, until the day (insert day, time, place of tragic transitional life event). On that day (insert your first name)’s life would change, never be the same again. And then, when no one could have imagined it, (insert life dream or life experience when you are visited by someone [or something] that reveals your superpowers to you). And (insert your first name) knew it was true, and (he or she) knew that if anyone knew of (his or her) special abilities, (he or she) or anyone (insert first name) loved might be at risk, so (he or she) decided to keep (his or her) special abilities a secret… for now.

When (insert your first and last name here) met (insert name of romantic interest), (insert your first name) knew this would be the highest and best love (he or she) would ever know. Now, (insert first name of romantic interest) was far above average in Certain areas of life, such as (list attractive attributes, brief resume, and examples of abilities that set this person apart from the rest of men and/or women in the community); with a heart of gold.

One day following (insert one of you major accomplishments that you may, or may not, have received recognition for), (insert romantic name) knew something was up and took (insert your name) to (a private location) and challenged (You: him or her) about the source of (his or her) ability to perform an event such as this. (Insert your name) felt bad about keeping this secret from (romantic interest’s name) all this time, so (You: he or she) decided to tell (him or her) the story about how (he or she) received (his or her) super powers.

(Followed by a brief recap.)

(Name of romantic interest) rejects the idea at first, praying to god, that this was some kind of superhero delusion, because (he or she) does not want to be burdened with being intimately connected with a superhero who could be called into action on any given day or time without notice. (He or she) reaches out and takes (insert your name)’s hand, looks (him or her) in the eye and says, “I don’t want you to be a superhero. I want you to be my (wife or husband) and I want it just to me and you. To love and live, have a life like normal people.”

(Insert name) said, “Can I have some time to think about it?” (Insert romantic interest’s name), responds with, “Yes. But I must know one way or the other in the next 72 hours.” They embrace (fade to black).

Just then, (insert name of enemy) while bicycling through a cemetery is hit by lightning. This lightning was not like any other lightning you’ve ever seen. It was if the lightning hit (insert enemy’s name) bounced off and into the graves of all the other people buried there, then reflected back hitting (enter enemy’s name) a second time. (Insert enemy’s name) crashes (his or her) bike and lays atop the unmarked grave of a dead serial killer. Lifeless, as smoke rises from the body.

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, (insert your name) and (insert romantic interest’s name) are walking down the boardwalk, hand-in-hand, having a romantic moment.

Meanwhile, (enemy’s name) rises from the smoldering lump as a huge, hulking creature, stands up and says, “I feel great!” Looking at (his or her) formidable form, saying, “I’m gonna need some stuff.”

While (insert your name) and (insert romantic interest’s name) are walking past a military surplus store, (insert enemy’s name) pushes them aside, and storms into the surplus store by smashing through the glass front door instead of opening it, like a normal person. (Name of romantic interest) an (insert your name) fall to the ground.

(Insert your name) looks at (insert romantic interest’s name) and doesn’t say a word. (Insert romantic interest’s name) looks at (insert your name), nods and says, “Well, do your thing.”

Inside the surplus store, (insert enemy’s name) has supplies and the cash register tucked under one arm with the store clerk held by the throat suspended in the air in the other. Seeing this, (insert your name) point a finger at (the enemy’s name) and says, “Put that man down and step away from the counter.”

(Insert enemy’s name) looks at (insert your name) point (his or her) finger at (insert your name)’s finger and a lightning bolt shoot out of (his or her) finger directly to (insert your name)’ pointed finger, and in a flash of light, (insert your name) falls to the ground unconscious. (Insert enemy’s name) laughs wickedly and takes off out the front door.

(Inset romantic interest’s name) takes (insert your name) in (his or her) arms and asks, “Are you alright?” To which (insert your name) replies, “Yeah, but my powers are gone.” (Insert romantic interest’s name) embraces (insert your name) in a loving embrace, and says, “I’m sorry.”

There, I’ve got your started…

You take it from there.

(Or I could help you some more if you ask nicely)

Relationship Skills for a Better Life

Since you do not live in a vacuum, you are surrounded by a wide variety of people who add color and depth to your human experience, how you manage these people (or how they manage you) are based on your relationship skills.

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes from spousal, cohabitation, familial, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Sometimes, family (our closest relationships) are the most difficult to manage.

Probably, the most important skill you can have in managing your relationships is communication. How adept or inept you are at demonstrating your communication skills can have a huge impact on the relationships you manage.

It’s pretty apparent if you possess pathetic communication skills. For instance, people constantly misunderstand what you’re trying to say, you are prone to get into heated debates (even though you may feel like you’re winning), and your emotions run high when you are talking to someone about something that is important to you (and more likely, not positive emotions). Is it any wonder people are less likely to want to be in your presence?

By building your relationship skills, you can develop deeper, more meaningful relationships, which promotes more success, abundance, and happiness in your life.

Some things you might consider in building your relationship skills might be,

When a conversation is heading into difficult territory, avoid bringing up the past. By staying current, you and the other participants are less likely to be defensive of fill like they’re being attacked.

Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What might it look like from their point of view, having lived the life they’ve lived? Sticking to your guns, and not allowing someone to see, think of feel differently, only causes separation, while allowing people to be who they are creates more affinity.

Pay attention to what they’re saying. Use active listening skills by repeating what they’ve said in your own words to acknowledge them and let them know you’re understanding what they’re saying.

When somebody says something that is contrary to what you might believe, or you’re feeling criticized or challenged, don’t ready yourself for a battle. Try not to be so defensive, and respond with an affirmative, “Oh, that’s interesting.” And if they try to pick a fight, don’t let them drag you into destructive banter. Stay your ground and remain positive.

Give up the idea of winning and seek ways you can arrive at compromise. Finding a way to compromise means “everyone wins.” Avoid win/lose conversations or situations, and don’t settle for win/lose compromise where one party is making all the concessions. Make sure both parties give-in and both parties get some of the important things they wanted.

If the conversation is getting heated and emotions are rising, take a break. Agree to do something else for a pre-determined amount of time and return to the subject at hand, after taking a break, when you are refreshed and can revisit the topic with clear heads and hearts.

Blaming someone never accomplishes anything but causing more division. Find ways to take responsibility for whatever you can. This helps to relieve the pressure, plus it gives you more control, the more responsibility you take. Why? Because you’re the only one who can control you.

If you think things are getting away from you, then seek a coach, counselor or consultant who can advise and act as a mediator to break through any barriers you may be facing.

Make time to cultivate your relationships. Don’t let texting or social media be your only connection method. There’s nothing that compares to authentic face-to-face time. Create opportunities for more in-person conversation, leading to a deeper, more meaningful connection.

It’s not just enough to be in the presence of someone, like at a movie, or a conference. Make time for a little face-to-face interaction before, after, or during breaks to communicate and interconnect directly.

If you’re not in the habit of it, be bold enough to freak out your friends and family by calling them via voice phone (no texting allowed, here) for no other reason, just to say, “Hi,” without any agenda, other than to let them know you were thinking about him or her.

If someone is important to you, let them know, even if only in some small way. Send them a note, or some small token of your affection, thanking them for being a positive influence in your life. These people help give your life meaning.

If your relationship is built on a foundation of love, don’t be afraid to let them know, if not by words, then by touching them appropriately while communicating with them, or greet them with a light hug or some other appropriate gesture.

How Can You Live a Life of Love?

If you want the best this life has to offer, you must find a way to love. Love more, love better, give love and allow yourself to receive it. This is your best and highest work.

Love is the spice that brightens up everything this life has to offer. Oh, you can be happy without it, but to experience the most joy from every bite of life, top it off with love, and it just gives everything that something special.

Love changes you and how you look at other people. You’re more understanding and empathetic. Looking through the eyes of love, allows your heart how it could feel like, had you walked a mile in his or her shoes.

When you live in love, you see it everywhere, in nature, in the city, in restaurants and at the bus stop.

It’s easier for some to love more than others, but easy love is not always the best love. The best, deepest, most meaningful love of all, is the love that is learned the hard way. Granted, very few people are up to the task. It’s easier do say, “Forget love,” or, “There’s no such thing as love,” and walk away.

Of course, love starts with you. Sure, we’ve all heard about how we are to love our self, but what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Well, it means many different things to many different people, because it’s not about anyone else but you, and we’re all very unique, but there are some similar characteristics among all of us, when it comes to loving our self.

You can learn to love yourself by letting go of the past, living in the present and moving forward in your life. This means forgiving others for what they might have done in the past. And it also means forgiving yourself for any missteps you have made along the way.

You also want to stop judging other people so harshly, and especially yourself as well.

When you make a mistake in real time, don’t beat yourself up over it. Step back, look at the facts, and look for the treasure. The treasure may be key information that you can take into the future that will keep this circumstance from repeating itself.

Giving an unsolicited compliment to someone is a loving way to be encouraging to another person. How about complimenting yourself, patting your self on the back for a job well done. Maybe even reward yourself if some small way. Think of ways to treat yourself nicely.

Loving words are very powerful. Start using them, with others, as well as in the mirror.

Once you start loving yourself, you will find it easier to express your love to others (though you may not want to throw the “love” word around too much, especially when you’re getting started, because it can freak people out.) Relatives is a great place to start.

Unfortunately (okay, actually, “fortunately”), loving, or learning to love, is going to involve other people. This can be uncomfortable for even the most privileged of us.

It will mean putting aside your negative thoughts about love (if you’re harboring them) for at least as long as it takes to get out and mingle a little bit.

Think about it, swing by a restaurant or night club after work. See what “Happy hour” looks like. These are like-minded individuals, meeting after work, and having a good time just enjoying each other’s company for a minute on their way home from work.

You might think to yourself, that these are just a bunch of phonies, but that’s just because you haven’t tried it, or can’t relate to it. To help you out in this area, you might need to make a few new friends.

Remember not to come on like gangbusters. Be conscientious and don’t turn yourself into the next love guru, but love in the best way you can.

Too much love can bring negative results. Like, if you see someone who is engaging in an activity that they love so much, with no regard for other people. This can be awkward, if not painful, and can alienate the other people who you would otherwise be encouraging or trying to express your love to.

So, love, but be mindful of others.

If you’re looking for true, it starts right here. Right now, with you.

True love is calling you.

Weave Your Own Web Around the World

We’re all here, players in each other’s life dramas. In some ways we’re all one and in others, there’s really no one but you. And it’s all true. How confusing is that? The best you can do is to play along at the best of your ability.

So, play along, reach out and be a connector. Find ways to connect with other people and find ways to connect others to each other. Be a web weaver of the world.

It all stats with you, so get out there and start networking (and overused word, but adequate). This is a great excuse for you to get out and start connecting. As you connect, try to get to know about something significant about that person, what is their gift, calling, or at the very least, “what do they do?” Care enough to get a way to contact them, even if you aren’t able to see a need of their services for you.

Because as you weave your web around the world you are able to connect people with one another, stretching your web of connectivity throughout the world. Being a connector is invaluable. Some of my favorite people are massive connectors. Be a connector.

Reaching out to people face-to-face is by far the best way to meet people because it helps you get past the superficiality of a person’s cover story. Certainly, there is a wave of acceptance that comes from social media interaction, but still this is only superficial. An authentic connection can only be made hand to hand, eye to eye. Even video chat can’t compete with that.

Think about it… Are you more likely to feel as though you know someone if you’ve met them face to face, or viewed their facebook or linkedin profile and exchanged a few messages or emails?

You want to make yourself available to the people you meet. Doing so without expecting anything in return. For instance, if you meet someone who needs a publicity agent and you introduce them to someone you’ve just met who is one of the best in their field, and you connect them. They go on to do great things in the world, and they don’t forget what you did for them.

This endears them to you, and they will feel a sense of wanting to return the favor someday. It’s just the nature of being a connector, if you’re not using your connectivity as a method to manipulate others, because this energy will be felt by heart-centered individuals, and this will actually repel them from feeling a sensitivity towards you and your cause(s).

When you’re fortunate to get to meet someone face-to-face, get to know them at a deeper level. When I am blessed enough to meet someone, I try to find out more about them than is represented on their business card, web site or facebook profile. You don’t get this chance every day, find out where their heart beats.

Connect like-minded people. As you get to know people better, you’re more able to interconnect them powerfully, heart-to-heart. People who are connected, working together, who share a similar vibrational resonance will far outperform non-like-minded individuals trying to work on a project.

Reach out to other connectors who are also building their own webs of connectivity. This can expand your connectiveness exponentially. Social media is an excellent method to find other connectors, but remember, if you really want to connect, seek a way to get face to face, and offer them your best, expecting nothing in return.

Connections fade away if they are not nurtured, so stay in touch and create opportunities to connect even more with your people. You cannot survive in a vacuum. Check in with them without being salesy or spammy. If you’ve connected with them authentically, your people will want to stay in touch.

As your network builds, calling on the phone becomes less efficient, and I think your people understand this, so it’s okay to reach out in less effective methods, like via email, or private message. They will understand, but still want to keep in touch.

If you’ve connected people, and things don’t work out, offer to lend a hand in making things right. This will turnaround a potentially tragic scenario into a massive, “save,” and you emerge the hero.

Be dependable, reliable, authentic and integrous in all your interconnectedness while web weaving all around the world.

Want to meet people? Be the creator of opportunities for face to face interconnections by creating your own social and networking events. Get out there and create your own events. Yes, you can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to put on a posh event, but you can charge or fundraise to support the overhead. Just make sure you over-deliver.

And once you start – don’t stop. Everyone is watching you, to see if you’re inauthentic, or just out to promote yourself or make a fast buck. No, give, give, and give… and keep giving. It takes a while to build trust among your people, especially those in the fringe, who are considering moving through the crowd to get to you.

Stay on the task and keep weaving your own web around the world.