November, 2017 | David M Masters

Mood Enhancing Quick Fixes

As good a person you are, you’re reaching out and helping others, taking care of yourself, offering your best to your family and friends, and doing your part to make the world a better place. There’s no doubt you’re living the good life… Still, every once and a while you feel a little down, and you need a little mood enhancement.

If you’re feeling a little down, there can be a host of reasons why your mood takes a nose-dive every so often. When this happens to you there are some things you can do that can get you back on track and feeling better.

Shifting your mood can be done by making a few adaptations that do not take much time nor effort, and can have a profound and immediate effect on your outlook and make you feel even better in no time.

Mood Enhancing Quick Fixes

Some of the most rapid ways to affect your mood include getting your feet off the floor, put them up and take a fruit or veggie break. Dab a little mood-enhancing essential oil on your wrists and neckline, or refresh your favorite fragrance. Take a 5-minute funny break, read some funny comics, one-liners, or make funny faces in the mirror. Take a splash-and-dash (a quick shower) or splash cold water on your face.

If you have a little more time, you could read a few pages, possibly a chapter, of an inspirational book or magazine. Close your eyes and meditate or just listen to the sounds of nature (if you’re able to find some nature to listen to, otherwise silence is golden). Do some stretching exercises, or take a brisk walk to the mailbox or car and back, Pick a small designated area and clean or organize it. Make a green or fruit smoothie and enjoy it peacefully while you are taking a break. Think of all the things your grateful for so far today, boldly jot them down, and while you’re at it, think of people you haven’t contacted for a while; look them up on your phone and send them a text, or at least a smiley face.

With a little more time on your hands, you could get some noise-canceling headphones and listen to your favorite mix, just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet, or set the alarm and take a 20-minute power nap. Pick up the phone and talk to someone you haven’t talked to in a while, or write a letter and mail it. Take a walk down memory lane by creating a new, or going through your photo albums and re-arranging the photos.

Search for possible locations for your next vacation. Get out, take a walk, greet everyone you meet with a smile and a, “Hi,” maybe include a little shopping trip and get yourself a little something-something. Or, light a scented candle and take a half-hour soak in the tub.

You could search-out a new recipe on Google, and plan a little romantic candle-lit meal (could be for one, two, or more).

Have more, share below…

Entertained Angels Believe It Or Not

Regardless of what you believe about angels, the fact remains, many have entertained angels unaware (Hebrews 13:2), believe it or not.

There are many things in life which might seem illogical, unexplainable, or mysterious, like the existence of angels. There are religious texts referring to these angelic beings and if you’ve aligned yourself with or subscribe to the teachings of a particular text which discloses information regarding angels, then you have a particular view or idea about what an angel is.

Angels are not apparent to us in (our) real time due to their inhabitance of another plane of existence or dimension. Even so, just as we can make our presence known and influence the first and second dimensions for our plane of existence, the third dimension, angels can interact with us in our dimension from their higher dimension.

Also, just like consciousness which might inhabit the first and second dimensions might find it difficult to comprehend what we might try to communicate from the third dimension, even with the best intentions, likewise, it is hard for us to wrap our mortal heads around what angels might be trying to tell you.

Ofparticular interest is the fact that some angels have the ability to walk beside us, just as fellow human beings and interact with us, with us none the wiser. In this way, many have entertained angels unaware, believe it or not.

Unfortunately, intellectualism is prevalent in our society has for some time rejected the idea of the paranormal while focusing the attention of knowledge to what can be represented in the laboratory or evaluated via scientific method. This, of course, is a huge problem when approaching concepts, ideals, or facts which we are not able to have access to with any of our five senses nor can we control from the dimension to which our conscious awareness is limited to.

Though there is a conscious evolution taking place that is undeniable which is infecting all life as we know it, and the quest for knowledge and science is not exempt from the evolutionary process taking place.

The seat of this evolutionary process is in the human heart and the expansion of the consciousness, and those who are on the

Just as technology has five stages of adoption,
1. Innovators
2. Early Adopters
3. Early Majority
4. Late Majority
5. Laggards
the same is true for the evolutionary expansion of the consciousness.

The advancement of technology will not stop any day soon, and the eventual adoption of it will be inevitable. Some will resist it, nonetheless, it charges forward, with some people more open to the idea of embracing something new, and others not so much.

In terms of our awareness of angels, their existence, and our ability to interact with them, there also have been innovators, early adopters, an early majority (where we are now, with more people believing in angels than not), the late majority, and the laggards, who will reject the idea of angels, even when it is clearly apparent to the rest of the world.

Even so, evolution continues, and after a while, there will come a point when even laggards will no longer be represented.

In the meantime, angels continue to make themselves known to those of us who are sensitive enough to experience the awareness of their presence and maybe even be privy to understand some of their attempts to communicate with us.

Are angels correctly represented in religious texts? The answer is both yes, and no. The writers and linguists of the time were limited in their ability to understand and document their knowledge. In our present day, we possess a far expansive knowledge base to evaluate data considered as it is revealed to us. In this respect, those who have reported and/or documented regarding angels in the past, may not have been able to have as clear an understanding as we might be able to grasp in the present-day.

But if it were not for those innovators, we might not have any awareness of the existence of angels at all.

So where are you in the five stages of angelic adoption?

Are you an innovator, early adapter, or early majority?

Or are you still skeptical, resigning yourself to be a part of the later majority or among the laggards?

There is no right or wrong here, evolution simply is what it is, whether it is physical or metaphysical.

It is happening now, and you are free to decide where you will be amidst this expansive evolution.

Bless Those Who Have Hurt You

How can we, “Bless those who have hurt you,” (Romans 12:14) when you and I have probably experienced having interactions with other people who have been less than integrous, possibly even nefarious and/or malicious, but at the very least, dishonest; anything from deceitfully maintaining different versions of one’s Facebook account and sneaking around to physically abusing you or embezzling millions of dollars, everything in between, and more.

If you’re like me, your first reaction is to be offended and rush to playing the part of the victim, getting your feelings hurt and accusing the offender of disrespecting or hurting you by their devious acts.

Take the High Road

Now, you could wallow in self-pity and victimize yourself over this issue, allowing your mind, body, and soul to deteriorate, becoming susceptible to degeneration and disease, or you can take the high road and bless those who hurt you. If you can find the wherewithal to bless those who hurt you, you will expand your ability to strengthen your immune system, maintain a more youthful physiology, and enjoy a happier, more exhilarating lifestyle, and enhanced longevity.

Bless Those Who Hurt You

The meat of St. Paul’s letter to the Romans excerpt includes suggesting that we bless those who persecute us and refrain from cursing those who might have even intentionally and maliciously deceived or attacked us.

The power of your spoken response, lies in the ability of your vocal chords in conjunction with your cognitive and vocal abilities to produce a verbal response. The utterance of these words dictates whether your response is a blessing or a curse, and you know the difference.

To bless someone who has wronged you is not only counter-intuitive it is quite the opposite of how our society conducts itself and how you were raised. You’ve been taught that wrong-doers should be punished, and it is the first feeling that we have when someone has disrespected or hurt you either emotionally or physically. Your instinctual caveman or cavewoman response is to smash the thing that makes you feel bad. That more-evolved spiritual version of yourself is completely tolerant.

That means blessing that person, sincerely wishing for them that they find all the love and good things in life in any way that is a perfect match for them, whether you agree with their choice of methodology or not. Even if you are insincere, by going through the motions of forming the blessing with your ability to do so with your ability to vocalize the words, both you and the person who has caused you these ill feelings will benefit from your blessing.

Nothing good comes come from uttering a curse. Interestingly enough, a crafty, maliciously-motivated individual could spin those negative utterances against you, to cast an evil shadow over you, one of the most effective weapons wielded by the psychopath.

When you’ve used your tongue to cast a blessing rather than a curse, the power that creates worlds launches a wave of all good things coming to all participants.

St. Paul understood that you will get more of how you react in this critical moment in the cycle of abuse. Cursing will add more momentum to the negativity by you uttering a curse (or ill will) even if you are hoping that your response will initiate an equal (or greater) negative response, and will offer some form of retribution or justice. But Paul knew, that a negative response begets more negativity, and a positive response begets more positivity, and how much more positive can it get than to bestow blessings upon another.

This is a painful part of your human evolution, the letting go of your intention to demand punishment and revenge. I know, it’s against everything you’ve ever known, but it is a necessary component of your metamorphosis.

Even if it doesn’t feel right, be aware you will receive the same benefits, if you can only gain control of your tongue. The rest will follow in kind.

You have the power to control whether the energy vortex you’re living your life in is positive or negative in this critical moment.

Let love fill you to overflowing and empower you to initiate love’s response in all that is.

Let’s Do This Motivation

You want to, you get the best ideas, even get started on making your dream come true then, well, your best intentions sort of peter-out. What do you do then? Looking for some ideas to help you get back in the game?

Sometimes, just the need to get ‘er done is enough to get you through if your integrity is high and you are in the habit of meeting every deadline in your life, no matter what. If you’re not that self-abusive, you might need to find another way to rustle up some motivation to get you through.

You can look for keywords and catch phrases that get you over the hump. There are lots of quotes which you might find inspirational, search google and find the ones that resonate with you and your project. Review or recite them when your motivation needs a little boost, here and there.

Guilt can be a good motivator. When people depend on you, you might be able to find the wherewithal to follow through with a high sense of obligation to others.

Your sense of pride and integrity might be enough. In fact, many people’s humble sense of pride, the being able to set back and confidently ask yourself, “Did I do that?” Yeah, you did, and you’re very heroic in your effort. Well done, you can congratulate yourself for a job well done, and you pushed through even when the going got rough.

Want to make the world a better place? Your sense of making a contribution, to offer something meaningful for the greater good is an incredible motivation for doing the work necessary to have an impact and make a difference. If your project is congruent with performing your life’s work or accomplishing your life’s mission. Leaving something behind for future generations, having something significant to add to your resume, and possibly be a highlight of your eulogy.

A mastermind group could be huge, and many people report the mastermind being the secret weapon of their success tactics, alternatively any type of group which supports you and your project can help you get over the hump.

Intimidation can also be very motivational. If someone told you that you would never amount to anything, and you know that if you did this thing it would prove them wrong, or even a dare or a bet could be enough to keep you going. Success is the best revenge.

The threat of an undesirable alternative might get you from here to where you want to be. Like, considering what life might be like if you wouldn’t have taken this challenge or embarked upon this particular journey. What if you lost your job, had to take a demotion, got passed up for a promotion, had to take your old job back, or had to learn a new trade?

Setting small goals for mini milestones and achieving them along the way can be extremely motivational and keep you moving forward.

If you’re having a tough time imagining what it would be like to make it through this project to completion, try seeing it in your mind’s eye. Visualization is a powerful motivational tool, to fully see you on the other side of anything that might stand in your way can help give you the oomph you need to make it through.

If you’ve been down this road before and you’ve bailed or failed the last time you tried to put yourself out there, learning from mistakes you’ve made in the in the past can make you more determined not to give in to weaknesses or give you the ability to find more creative solutions this time around.

Review and count your wins. You’ve faced challenges before and made it to the other side, lots of times. Reviewing your success when the going gets rough, can make all the difference, reminding you about how good you are at breaking through.

You might be your own worst enemy unintentionally sabotaging your own success, getting in the way, or making things harder than they need to be. Lighten up, get a second opinion, ask for help, and outsource. You can do this.

Let’s get something done.

Avoid False Love

Have you ever fallen in love with someone only to find out he or she was not everything you thought they were? Who hasn’t? Most of the time if you’ve discovered that someone is not appearing to be congruent with what you thought he or she was it’s on you. You gave his or her the benefit of the doubt and wanted to believe the best about him or her, so you turned a blind eye to inconsistencies in the beginning. Other times, something more sinister is at hand and you may find yourself a victim of false love. Is there a way to avoid false love?

When a relationship which has one or both partners engaged in false love, the relationship is unsustainable, and it will not end well. The false lover asserts, “everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn’t end.”

What attracted butterflies and roses, in the beginning, has turned to trash attracting flies and decay. This happens to most, if not all, of us, as we learn that some things are only for a season and if you’re able to keep your wits about you, you can extract the learning, let go as quickly as possible and continue on your journey more knowledgeable and powerful than you were before finding yourself in false love.

The false love can be on either side. It could be that your partner is the one feigning love to achieve his or her intended purpose. He or she may have led you along, only to accomplish what he or she needed to do. Then, when you outlived your usefulness, he or she moved on, leaving you holding the bag of confusion, wondering, “What’s happening,” “Where’d you go?” or, “What did I do wrong?”

What did you do wrong?

You didn’t do anything wrong, except for to love someone who you thought was authentically loving, just like you were. How were you to know you were just being played?

On the other hand, you may have been the one who engaged the false love in the relationship. If so, you probably know that you had entered the relationship with little or no intention of following through. You have to do what is best for you and if you are unable to have an authentic loving relationship, good luck to you, and I hope for you that you find the love within you to experience greater love for yourself and others, and have more love to share with the world. If this applies to you, the least you could do is to be more honest and open about what the limitations are which should be expected in this relationship early on. To suddenly disappear in a dramatic display of accusations of your partner’s unfounded transgressions out-of-the-blue, is rude and does not reflect on you well. If you think about it, you could do better.

How do you know you were in a false love relationship?

When one or both of you are having false love in your relationship, things go well but the good times are unsustainable because one or both of you lack the depth of real love. Real love empowers he or she who possess it the ability to work through issues (even if they are difficult issues) that may arise in the relationship, while the false lover can easily disregard circumstances and situations which may not be in the best interest of the relationship. Why? Because he or she who is in false love can always leave if things are not going his or her way.

If you are in a relationship with a false lover, you will probably notice your identity begin to fade into a long list of compromises in an attempt to support the relationship. This is because you are in real love. God bless you for your real love, though, as you may know by now, your real love is wasted on the false lover.

A false love relationship is like an emotional roller coaster, and you might find yourself on pins and needles, in a constant state of alert, so that you can avoid any pending drama which may show up and disrupt your life, like an atom bomb, at any moment in time.

When you really need a bit of help and support from a false lover, you will rarely find it, even if you’ve given and supported your partner immensely, you find out that you cannot expect the same in return. This massive inequality is probably the biggest reason you must avoid false love.

When you’re in a false love relationship, you may have intimacy, and the intimacy may be incredible, but it leaves you thinking that something’s missing. Well, you’re right. What’s missing is the key ingredient: Love. Without it, there is no real connection which is required for real intimacy.

Real, authentic, love is not false; it is true love. You know this because you’ve either had it, given it away or had a glimpse of it sometime in your life. In all of the ways love can be given, received, or communicated, the highest and best form of love is unconditional.

Unconditional love is selfless, honors others, does not disregard them, and makes you want the best for, and to please, someone else.

Whatever you do for someone else, if it is not rooted in true love, there is little or no love behind it, only a false love, whether you use the word(s) or not.

True love awaits anyone with the wherewithal to seek it, though the learning curve may be steep, the process is worth it.

True love is waiting for you.

Avoid false love.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Your Highest and Best

I’ve been in the business of helping people achieve their highest and best since following high school. But what is your highest and best anyway? What does it mean to achieve your highest and best?

Your highest and best represents the state of being where you are in touch with and congruent with your authentic self. Knowing one’s self helps to make the impossible possible, which is the other basis of achieving your highest and best. While the first part, knowing yourself, facing and dealing with who you are, prepares you for the second part which is the achieving of potentials that may have seemed beyond your grasp previously.

The better equipped you are by getting in touch with your unique talents, skills, and special abilities, the more empowered you will be in attempting to take on challenges that will enable you to fulfill your life’s purpose, message, passion, and mission. Doing so is achieving your highest and best, enabling you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

The work of helping someone achieve their highest and best is fascinating for me because quite often I have the privilege of being in the presence of people when they experience epiphanies. There is no greater satisfaction in my work.

So, what is the work that is done in helping someone achieve their highest and best? Well, it is unique to every person. It is not a one-size-fits-all fill-in-the-blanks-type approach to personal growth. It involves finding that harmonious sweet spot integrating the best (and worst) from your past, exorcising your demons and exercising your unique strengths and special abilities, resulting in an empowered, more evolved, expanded version of your self.

It’s a process of dealing with, rectifying and eliminating regrets from the past while carving out sacred space to fully engage in the now. In this sacred space, you are able to do the work of finding clarity. The more precise your clarity in the things of life, your purpose, message, passion, and mission, the more succinctly you can achieve your most incredible potentials.

Everything you have experienced in this life ‘til now has represented a sacred course of study qualifying you for your fulfilling your life’s purpose by proclaiming your unique message with passion which is part of your mission (over the course of our life, you could be called to a variety of missions).

The goal is to integrate all this into an organized approach to do all this with the least amount of struggle and with the greatest possibility of success.

And who does all this work? You.

Often people come to me and ask me to take on their projects and make their dreams come true because to them, that’s what I do (helping people achieve their highest and best) looks like, offering to pay me handsomely to do it. Nothing could be further from the truth. That is not my ministry.

In my line of work, I am not the hero. All I am doing is to help you achieve your highest and best. You. You do the work. All I am doing is supporting you, and helping you see and avoid potential pitfalls and act as your accountability partner. I am not the magician.

The real transformative magic is all the work of you. Your work determines your ability to achieve your highest and best.

This is your mission, should you decide to accept it, to achieve your highest and best, live a better life, your best life and to make the word a better place. This is you. It’s who you are. It’s what you do.

This is you. This is your life. It all comes down to this.

If you’re ready to make the empowered shift from where you are to where you want to be, this is the time to take charge of your life and make all your dreams come true.

Friend Betrayal

What can you do about friend betrayal? You trusted your friend, you believed you could trust your friend, you felt confident that your friend had your back, and now you’ve discovered that your friend could not be trusted. You’ve been betrayed by your friend. You didn’t see it coming, and little feels worse. Your heart sunk and you feel like you’ve actually been stabbed in the back as this person, whom you’ve trusted has betrayed you and is twisting the knife, even now.

Friends can surprise us by doing the darndest things when they betray us. You could never have prepared for friend betrayal and they will betray you in ways you could have never even thought of.

Friends have broken trust with friends and betrayed their friends by having an affair with your partner, by sabotaging and keeping you from achieving your highest and best, rallying your other friends to turn against you, spreading rumors, gossip, dirty laundry, or telling others tales of sensitive information you shared in confidence, talking behind your back, breaking promises, assaulting your financial wellbeing, fronting you off in public humiliating you, judging you for circumstances beyond your control viewing you in a negative light, blaming you for something they (or someone else) did, aligning themselves with someone else’s false accusation(s) about you, and the list goes on and on… as the betrayal leaves wounds and scars.

How can you deal with the betrayal?

Review the betrayal but don’t ruminate over it endlessly, every time you imagine the betrayal, it creates the emotional response and damages your wellbeing. Reliving the betrayal reduces your immune system and causes emotional and physiological deterioration. Stop it.

Try to think about the betrayal from your friend’s point of view. Considering his or her life, what’s led up to this point of betrayal, what might it have felt to the betrayer? Ask yourself, is this a one-time event, or is it something you might witness again?

If you are able to look at the betrayal from a wider perspective, taking all things into consideration, could your friend have thought he or she was doing you a favor or helping you out in some way from his or her perspective? Intention may offer the opportunity to avail the benefit of the doubt, or was he or she deceptive or maliciously motivated?

Remember that your friend is more than this betrayal. There is a real person in there and the person who betrayed you may not have had any intent to do so, taking an action (or not taking action) without thinking through the consequences of his or her action or inaction. Review the good qualities your friend has and balance these against the betrayal.

Ready yourself for having a conversation with your friend about the betrayal. Find a centered and calm space within you for having this uncomfortable conversation, without accusing or blaming your friend. Simply and honestly tell the story from your perspective, let your friend know how you feel, and let your friend respond from his or her point of view.

As your friend explains his or her side of the story, try to listen without judgment, you might be surprised at how differently the situation looked from your friend’s perspective. Or, on the other hand, your friend may only be harshly defensive or defiant and unapologetic. Take the negative response under advisement as a red flag for maintaining a friendship into the future.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

If your friend has betrayed you once, you could give your friend the benefit of the doubt. If you’ve been betrayed twice by the same person, now you know that you can expect to be betrayed again.

Remember that your friend is not a bad person, but you must manage the sacred space which surrounds you. This is your responsibility to create a safe environment for you to live your life. You may have to change the relationship, proceeding with caution in the realization that your friend cannot be trusted with certain things, just understanding that your friend just is as they are, and you cannot (and you shouldn’t even try to) change him or her. Another option is to sever the relationship altogether.

Friend betrayal will certainly have an effect on the viability of your friendship over time, and it’s up to you to decide whether you can successfully manage a friendship which has suffered such a transgression, or whether you’re better off without having this person in your life at all.

Life is short. Create a life for yourself that leans toward your enjoyable, life-affirming better life, your best life, and find ways that you can live in a manner which can lead to making the world a better place with integrity and love.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal dot com.

Holy Sex Acts

Back in the day when a large part of my ministry was focused on religious couples counseling, often Mary and I would be called on to deal with a couple’s most intimate details of their life. We even conducted training seminars on the subject for groups of counselors, nationally.

Even today, the most advanced religiously-based couples still run into these issues, mostly due to rumor and the bent expressions of other religious people who surround them. While I am not specializing in the area of sex in relationships, these days, invariably, the topic comes up for couples (especially Christian couples) facing challenges in their relationship.

It appears that people have forgotten that God’s first charge for mankind was to have sex. Later (for whatever reasons, according to biblical texts), God restricted sanctioned sex to that which was confined to the marriage relationship.

The best news for a sexually active married couple, is that God blesses anything you might like to try, explore, celebrate and enjoy in the marriage bed, for this sacred space is considered “undefilable” for the couple bonded in marriage, according to St. Paul (Hebrews 13:4). This is your sexual playground, to be enjoyed to its fullest.

There are some things that, according to the Bible, should be avoided in the married sexual relationship, which are reasonable things to be avoided in a relationship. I know you’re anxious to find out what they are, so buckle up for what God doesn’t want you to do sexually when you’re married…

Sex Outside of Marriage

God is very clear about having sex with anyone outside the boundaries of marriage. Regardless of examples of infidelity in the Bible by some of the most respected characters and biblical heroes, this is not an indication of God’s blessing. And, pretty much, if all the details were known, adding additional sex partners to the marriage relationship, has led to less than desirable results. And even though the Bible is a 2,000-year-old document, it still contains valuable secrets of successful relationships and mental health, so consider having an open mind.

Incest

Many (including scientists and mental health professionals) people have proven over time that having sex with your family members is detrimental to having a positive impact on one’s life. So, again, the Bible hits the bullseye on this caveat to not engage in any sex acts with any family members. Just don’t do it. (Plus, there are laws against it, which vary state to state.)

Weird Sex

Okay, this is where people get all tied up (stay tuned, it’s okay to tie up your Christian wife or husband if she or he consents). Weird sex, according to the Bible, is sex that takes place outside the marriage relationship which is unconventional. This refers to sex acts with animals, which is prohibited, and prostitution. Including deviant sex acts with someone (or something) outside of the sacred marriage bed.

The Sexual Good News

Everything else is okay!

Think about the opportunities which are open to a marriage relationship and sanctioned by God: Everything.

Everything?

Yes, everything; as long as the husband and wife consent.

What this looks like to a husband and wife will look very different from one couple to another. There is nothing that is more intimately unique and private than that which takes place in the marriage bed.

By all means, establish “safe words” and experiment with each other to find out what works for the two of you.

Let go of all those old-fashioned restraints, which were not put on you by God, but by others with their own sexual hang-ups. Feel free to express your unrestrained liberty with each other as you explore all the magnificence, exciting, elegant, beautiful and consider being creative in your pursuit of this most intimate exploration.

Keep in mind that love is courteous and kind, so find ways to take your partner’s considerations under advisement. You would not want to do anything that is harmful, destructive, or traumatic for your partner. Be compassionate, gentle, and kind as you explore and if something is determined to be undesirable, avoid that particular sexual activity, but keep exploring.

Sexual exploration is part of the expansion and evolution of the contemporary human experience. This is not only available to you, it is God’s calling you to a deeper, more meaningful, and expressive relationship between a husband and wife.

Money Types in Love

The subject of money is the number one reason for relationship breakdown and divorce, probably because how we feel about money is a microcosm of how we feel about the important things in life. Money is just an easier way to express ourselves, rather than to dig down and do the deep inner work.

Our association with money and our particular money type say so much about who we are and where we’ve been. Yet, here it is, out on front street, wreaking havoc in our most sacred relationship, causing friction between you and your partner.

It’s important to know first what type of money person you are. Are you a Money Spender, Money Miser, Money Slacker, or a Money Hater? Then determine which type of money person your partner is. If you both are completely different money types, not to worry, successful couples are often different money types. It’s not so much about your money type as it is what you do about it, and the earlier the better, in a relationship.

There is no judgment or shame about which money type you are. There is no right, no wrong, and the same goes for your partner. As you may already know, since money is obviously a big deal, you could do your best to adopt your partner’s money type for the sake of preservation of the relationship. While this is effective while you are able to manage it, it is stressful and adds resentment to you. It is a terrible burden to bear, and at some point, your money type is going to express itself in an unlikely manner.

It’s better to be open and honest about your relationship with money because it is not likely to change over time.

How we approach, feel about, and deal with money is not something that has developed suddenly overnight. Our money types are based on a lifelong journey and are intrinsically part of our personality and it is linked to our parents, how we were raised, and based on our experiences with money over time.

Money is a very intimate and sensitive part of our overall personality and likely one that you’re not comfortable about talking about. That’s why most couples avoid discussing the subject of money, or more importantly, how they really feel about financial matters. Even though it should be one of the most important topics discussed, especially prior to marriage.

And if you’ve waited until you are experiencing money conflicts in your relationship, it may be too late to do anything about it.

Following are the basic money types:

MONEY SPENDER

You gotta love the money spenders, especially if you’re in a retail business. They love to have things, lots of things, nice, new shiny things. They use money as a therapeutic instrument if they’re feeling a bit out of sorts, buying something new will make them feel better.

The downside is they are less likely to pay attention to their finances, over-finance, have excessive debt and file periodic bankruptcies. They’re more likely to overspend and buy things they do not need or will not use. They have the spending part down, not so much the responsibility piece.

MONEY MISER

There is no other more frugal person than the money miser, who counts every penny, tucks away money in savings and retirement, is likely rarely buy, but when they do, they’ve clipped coupons in advance or only buy items on sale, seconds or at thrift shops.

The downside is their relationship with money is based on fear and lack. Afraid that at any moment the sky will fall, and they would be devastated. They will often have barely enough to get by and satisfy their need to hide some money in savings and investments in the hopes that one day, they can retire.

MONEY SLACKER

The money slacker avoids anything that has to do with money at any cost. Doesn’t mind spending it, but rarely knows if they can afford whatever it is they’re spending it on. They avoid balancing their checkbook, opening or paying bills, saving or investing money is not on their radar and retirement is, “whatever.”

The downside of money slackers is that it’s hard to even have a conversation about money with them, and dealing with money issues is so far removed from them, that they’d rather do just about anything to avoid opening an envelope to expose a depressing bill. To the money slacker, discussing a budget is considered a brutal attack.

MONEY HATERS

Money haters think there is something inherently evil about money. Those who have it are money-grubbing mongrels, punishing, stealing and living off the blood of the less fortunate and poor. They are not likely to spend money on nice things and see nice things as trappings of the greedy and oppressive wealthy, or the wannabe. They’re more likely to give their money away to good causes or to someone more deserving than themselves.

The downside for the money haters is that there is nothing for them to fall back on and they’re likely to self-perpetuate their poverty, which to them, is likened to a badge of honor indicating selflessness and martyrdom.

As all successful couples know, love is not enough to sustain a relationship over time. You need a strong set of love survival skills to get from the initial feelings of falling in love to a successful long-term relationship shared by two over time. Talking about money, how you feel about it, what it means to you, and finding ways to compassionately understand and integrate a lifestyle that honors your partner’s money type, as well as your own, is paramount to a successful relationship.

Waiting for True Love

Sometimes when we’re in search of our significant other, life partner, or soulmate, we can get sidetracked by the part of the process which represents the time necessary for the (metaphorical) alignment of the planets.

When you are young and ruled by your biology seeking a mate to fulfill that part of your life’s calling to “be fruitful and multiply” Mother Nature is running the show on your behalf to accomplish her mission. At this point in your life experience, there is far less clarity in the definition of “true love.”

In those early days, Hollywood’s definition of true love is sufficient. Later in life (or for few of us, this can take place earlier in life), you can come to a point where you realize that Hollywood (who serves Mother Nature) has lied to you, and we understand that you are more than your biology and impulses wrapped in meat. And you look for a better idea of what true love really is.

From this perspective looking for true love takes on a decidedly different appearance. When once you might have been satisfied with aligning yourself with another person who satisfies your desires sufficiently, now your expectations take on a whole new light.

When you first start looking for love, you are much more spontaneous. You don’t realize how this relationship will affect your life, the lives of all the people around you, and the community or world at large. These concerns are not even on your radar, you didn’t even give a moment of thought to reflect on how this particular coupling might affect your whole world. All you know is that you are happy with the feeling of the moment and optimistically have a degree of faith in the hope that this will last.

After you’ve had some life experience (or possibly you realized this earlier in life), you realize that things often are not as they appear, and your expectation and desires are more advanced. Now, you know more about what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship, and you’re willing to relax, resist your biological impulses, and create the sacred space to adopt an attitude of,

Waiting for True Love

Waiting for true love will have you carving out the sacred space and allowing that very special someone to show up who is uniquely matched for you to walk into the future hand-in-hand.

There is a train of thought which insists that it takes a year for you to have a better understanding of what a person is really like. This may not have held much importance when your hormones were running amok, but now you know that in the beginning of a courtship (normally) people are representing themselves in the best possible light. Some of these people might be pressuring you to make a heavy commitment early on because they know that you might be able to see them for who they really are, which might make you want to avoid entering into such a high level of commitment.

So, now you take the time to wait for true love to arrive.

While you are waiting for true love you are more keenly aware and looking for indications that you might be fairly certain that your potential partner possesses certain attributes which you desire and are important to your survival as a couple into the future.

The most important key components to be looking for in a potential partner include,

Trust

The most important component to have which is the keystone on a successful relationship is trust. You must be able to trust each other. When you are together, you know you can trust each other. You are not suspicious of your partner, and your partner is not suspicious of you because you know you have each other’s backs. You are connected and committed to each other and bulletproof if your trust in each other is unshakeable. You know that if you or your partner says something, you can count on it, and you know that neither of you would do anything to compromise the sanctity of the relationship.

Going the Same Way

If you are to have a longstanding successful relationship, you want to feel as relatively certain as possible that you and your partner are headed in the same direction in life. You will want to understand what things are important to your partner, and you want to be transparent about those things which are most resinous to you. They do not need to be the same things, but they do need to possess a certain compatibility to survive your journey together into the future.

You want to be going the same way, because you don’t want to wake up one day to find yourselves far apart from each other, on completely different paths, if it is your intention to have a co-creative life with each other that can survive the test of time.

Love Each Other

When you love each other, you make each other the priority and you celebrate your union as an extension of your combined energies. Successful couples are not just the putting together of two individuals, but the synergistic coupling of two powerful individuals which when combined create a greater entity together.

When you’re not together, you still hold a high regard for each other and think of each other often. When you love each other, you accept each other’s wants and desires and support each other’s pursuits, and are each other’s best friends. When you are confused, challenged, feeling awkward, or uncertain, you seek out each other to share openly and honestly, and you feel confident that your partner will support you and have your back.
Couples who really love each other anticipate being together and seek to experience new things together and create memorable events which can be looked back on, like a trail of breadcrumbs that lead to your expanded love together. Your love for each other is witnessed by your family and peers, and they respect and support your relationship, defending your right to successfully grow and co-create into the future.

If you are expected to find this special person, you cannot let yourself be distracted by someone else’s bells and whistles, smoke and mirrors, and you can only hope to do so if you are intent and committed to the idea of,

Waiting for True Love

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.