Twin Flames vs Soul Mates

Let’s take look at twin flames vs. soul mates. Having been in the relationship business both privately and professionally, I do get questioned by certain folks about the differences between soul mates and twin flames. Some people believe they are the same thing, some don’t care what they are.

Soul mates and twin flames represent key players in your quest for personal growth, change, and evolution. While they are thought of to be romantic partners, they can be represented by anyone, such as friends, relatives, co-workers, authority figures, strangers, even pets and other animals can be either soul mates or twin flames. They can play their parts in your journey as transitionary or life-long in their influence and presence.

The basic difference between soul mates and twin flames is that the soul mate represents peaceful growth and the twin flame encourages awareness and growth via strife and chaos in your life.

Twin Flame

The twin flames in your life are those who are like a cosmic slap upside the head. They are attracted to you along your life’s journey to be the wake-up call alerting you that something unresolved stands between where you are and where you want to be.

As romantic partners, you are incredibly attracted to each other, and you let down your guard enabling them to reach the most intimate parts of you. Once they have full access to your treasure trove of highly guarded secrets and your most intense feelings they use these as tools to expose your weakest areas in life revealing where personal growth would resolve these issues and allow you to move forward on your journey exponentially.

The twin flame is the method by which the source of all life gets your attention by presenting you with your greatest challenges in the most sensitive areas of your life using pain as the catalyst to break your current state of consciousness, increase your awareness, and consider searching inside yourself for significant changes which can be made.

All this to permeate the defenses of the ego, which is likely your worst enemy when it comes to personal growth and expansion because the ego will always recoil, attack and blame anyone or anything that even hints at the necessity of change. The ego prefers the status quo and the maintenance of things the way they are.

More often than not, the twin flame(s) assist in preparing you for your potential soul mate relationship, for it is generally accepted that you will not be ready for him or her until you have been broken and open to this type of expansive love.

The twin flame is in direct contrast to the,

Soul Mate

The Soul Mate uses a different approach to encourage personal growth and change. Your soul mate is often regarded as your most highly trusted friend, and while they are present at the most challenging moments of your life, they are supportive, celebrate your strengths gently help you navigate, manage or grow beyond your weaknesses, and help you to find peaceful resolution amidst those most difficult times in life.

You may have many soul mates along your life’s journey. They could be found at any social station in the center, or beyond the perimeter, of your circle of influence, may have angelic attributes (many have entertained angels unaware), and might be disguised as your pet(s).

Romantically speaking, your soul mate is often sought out as your divine mate, the elusive “one” or “other” part of you. Your perfect compliment. Not perfect, as none of us is perfect and we never have it done, but perfect for you.

While difficult times may come, the soul mate works with you, not against you (as is the preference of the twin flame) to achieve a positive outcome or higher vibration, leading to greater success, happiness, and helping you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Be aware, while the fantasy of the soul mate represents a single entity, your life will likely be visited by many soul mates.

Since your life may be entertaining more soul mates and twin flames (the more resistant you are to accept the truth and making the necessary changes in your life, the more twin flames you will have), the painful truth is,

Twin Flames and Soul Mates Come and Go

When a twin flame exits your life, it is generally amidst a torrential and emotional storm which rips and tears at the very fabric of your being, exposing every sensitive nerve and ushering in a flood of every possible sensitivity and emotion you have in all its painful glory. And if you didn’t get the message, there is another twin flame en route to you following this one’s exit. This continues ad infinitum until you get it.

When it comes time for a soul mate to leave you, it signals a time in your life when your growth and expansion would better be served without this particular soul mate. These separations are usually the most tender and heart-wrenching departures, though there is a knowing that a greater good is being served by the distancing. This is often necessary unless the soul mate is a life-long one, be forewarned that if you hold on too tightly to a temporary soul mate, insisting that he or she be your life-long soul mate, the eventual separation may be much more tragic.

Twin Flame Transformation

In rare circumstances, a twin flame may persist in your life beyond his or her season and miraculously transform into your soul mate via the most amazing metamorphosis. And while this all seems so incredible at first blush, in reality, this person was your soul mate the whole time, only paying the part of the twin flame to get you to face your self and your inner demons to prepare you for the soul mate relationship waiting to unfold.

Why Do I Keep Attracting Jerks?

Here we go again, the end of yet another relationship, and things have not turned out the way you wanted. You start to question what’s wrong with you and ask, “Why do I keep attracting jerks?” or the wrong lovers?

Here’s the answer. First off, there are some things in play, that once to recognize it, will help you get a handle on what is happening. This knowledge will help you make the necessary adjustments as you entertain the idea of finding a suitable love interest.

There is a lot of talk about chemistry between two people, which is likened to a like-mindedness or sense of familiarity which makes it easy to be attracted to or fall in love with someone with whom you feel this “chemistry.” While this sounds well and good, the actual chemistry that is going on is quite contrary to what you’re thinking it is.

Chemistry is not compatibility, chemistry is the chemical reaction that’s triggered by the release of the love hormone cocktail send rushing through your brain, hijacking your mind and your body. The same thing happens when you take a hit of cocaine.

You are high (literally) and understandably not in the proper frame of mind to make rational choices. Although, things will be exciting and fun for as long as the level of this chemical reaction is sustained at a fairly high intensity.

Unfortunately, the chemistry declines and fades over time, and at some point, you start to sober up and see things more clearly. This is when you start to notice inconsistencies that you couldn’t see earlier because you were basically love-stoned out of your mind.

What triggers your love cocktail?

Many things come into play for triggering the release of your love cocktail, normally it’s a combination of your survival instinct which is attracted to physiological strength and hints of financial and social success, either in his or her present state or projected into the future. That’s on one hand.

On the other hand, you are also triggered by your past, an attraction smoothie blended of childhood trauma, focus on unresolved issues with a dysfunctional parental relationship, and the history of your life. This attraction smoothie will have you triggered by the worst possible person for you.

What?

Okay, actually this is the best person for you; not for a love-relationship, but for your personal growth. When you feel the onslaught of your overwhelming personal chemistry engaging, it’s a pretty sure sign that something unpleasant is ahead.

People come into your life for one of two reasons.

As a Lesson

You attract toxic people who are necessary for you to learn something that you wouldn’t be able to see in any other way. If you close off the idea of issues that need to be dealt with or changes you need to make, the dysfunction increases until you crack.

Running, claiming you’ve been victimized yet again, and hiding yourself away only offers a temporary pause in the process. When you are ready to re-engage in life again, here he or she comes again. Why?

You can break the cycle by looking within, asking yourself why. If you’re unable to see any changes that would be beneficial for you to make within yourself and your own life, then inviting a third-party, a coach, counselor, or clergy to help you uncover the areas in your life that could be better.

The Lesson-people are there for your highest and best, even though it feels like the opposite at the moment when you are overwhelmed with the pain of the toxicity.

As a Blessing

Other people are attracted to you to be supportive, to help you maintain a level keel throughout the crazy that life throws at you. These are your (angels) friends who will be there for a season, as they move in and out of your life, while a select few will be there for longer periods of time (sometimes a lifetime).

So, instead of your first reaction toward someone that makes you feel bad, do not focus your attention on the act, situation, or circumstance which causes you to feel angst or as though you’ve been victimized, look inside yourself.

Ask yourself, “Why?”

“What can I do to deal with the issues of my past, or changes I can make in myself to neutralize this challenge once and for all?”

The answer is the key to your liberty, breaking free from the cycle, and a better self-aware life filled with love and happiness.

The greatest love of all awaits and starts with you.

Thin Line Between Love and Hate

The common phrase indicating there exists a “thin line between love and hate,” which proposes that feelings of love and hate are similar and could be separated by only a nanosecond in regard to romantic love. If you can concede that the idea is valid (and it is backed by science as intense emotions of romantic “love” and “hate” fire from the same energetic source inside the brain) then you can rationalize the idea of loving someone in one moment and hating the very same person in the next.

If you don’t believe there is a thin line between love and hate, peek in on any couple’s relationship session and listen in… Within moments, you will hear one or both partners expressing how the very same person whom they feel the closest to, the one that fills your heart with joy and love, also infuriates you and can easily set you off into a rage of hate and anger.

So, it must be true:
There is a thin line between love and hate.

If it’s true, then we can go on hurting each other, rationalizing our behavior, prolonging and enduring painful relationships, because it’s just the way it is, and there’s nothing wrong with that, because in most cases, we’re all just struggling to make it through life one day at a time.

The problem with this idea is that the definitions are incorrect.

If you were you correct the statement, it would be more appropriately stated as,

There’s a thin line between Lust and Fear

If you dig down into the definition of love in the phrase in question, it refers to an emotional bond based on sexual attraction with the hope of establishing a long-term satisfaction based on your mate’s performance. This is a more accurate definition of lust, not an accurate representation of love, especially not unconditional love.

If you look at the definition of hate, it is more accurately interpreted as, “I am afraid.” It is fear wrapped up in a blanket of anger. You feel like you hate someone when they have surprised you with their radical incongruence with your expectations, and your energetic brain system flashes into irrational fight-or-flight in an effort to defend and protect yourself. In this case, the word hate, should be replaced with fear.

If you can approach these ideas with honesty and openness, you will know this to be true.

What about love?

Precisely. Love as defined by St. Paul would suggest that real love is, “patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) He also encourages men to, “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25) and all the women said, “Amen.” LOL

Unconditional love is an entirely new version of love which far surpasses contemporary definitions of love. Love, today, is more adequately defined as, “I love you if…” while unconditional love is like, “I love you no matter what you say, no matter what you do.”

I love you no matter what is a whole new kind of love which is not even closely related to the contemporary definition of love in our society.

Just suggesting such a high definition of love generates an immediate response in either men or women, enthusiastically interrupting any further nonsense with, “HELL NO!”

7 Phases of Love

Followed by a long list of reasons why one would never put up with any of many mistreatments or disrespect in any way. “No one’s every gonna get away with treating me, like that.”

There you go. There is no love in that response. It is based on lust and fear, not love, which is fine. In this case, there is a thin line between love and hate. There is no judgment, here, after all, we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have, and God bless you for doing whatever is right for you.

Under no conditions, did anyone infer that anyone should submit themselves to any kind of abuse. If someone is abusive to you or using you as a scapegoat for their need to remain a victim, create a safe place for you and consider making a new decision about letting this person have any further access to you.

Unconditional love is lifting the bar to a whole new level. The fuel for the fire of true love comes from the source of all life, burns within you, and warms the hearts of all those around you. You must light the fire of love within you. If you’re interested in contemplating such a relationship you might want to attend an Awakening to True Love Workshop to see if it might be a good idea for you and yours.

Love you.

Hanging Out with Drunks

In an analogy in The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz relates an example of hanging out with drunks at a bar or party as a comparison of how most of us live life. You hang out with these people who are just like you, they are all numb and drunk, having a good time, and every once and a while someone breaks out in a vast drama, but for the most part, you and the rest of the group are smiling, laughing, enjoying yourself, the camaraderie and you’re happy hanging out with drunks.

Then, once you begin to awaken to a higher version of life and start seeing things as they really are, it’s like being the only sober person at the party. After you’ve become more aware about life in general and your own life, numbing yourself is no longer desired or necessary to help you get through this life.

You think this is all well and good, but you remember how fun it felt when you were hanging out with drunks, so you go out to spend the evening with your friends.

Only now, you’re not compelled to drink, and you are not drunk. From this vantage point, your experience of hanging out with drunks is very different. You see people numbing themselves because they are looking for ways to avoid the reality of living the life they lead. You see them all celebrating the fog they all share, and while they appear to be happy, there is no happiness in them.

After a while, they notice you are not drunk, you are not joining them in their drunken celebration of not having to deal with life, and they accuse you of having something wrong with you.

The drunks prefer you to drink and enjoy being drunk with them. When you fail to participate and turn down their offers to buy you a drink so that you can essentially be an active participant with the other drunks, they get paranoid about you, see you as an outsider.

The drunks feel your sobriety as a drain on the energy of the overall group, you’re a downer, spectator, spy, or judging them like a self-righteous goody two shoes, and while none of this is true, you don’t feel like you fit in with this group of people anymore.

You are less enthusiastic about hanging out with drunks. You don’t judge them or feel sorry for them (because that would be condescending). You realize we all are only doing the best we can with what we have, honor the time that you spent with this group as a necessary part of your journey, you love and bless them.

There comes a time when you start to look for other people to hang out with, people who are more resonate with your current frame of mind, people who do not feel the need to numb themselves and disassociate their connection to this life.

You keep your eyes open and aware enough to find people who are more like you with whom you can associate and socialize with.

Periodically, the drunks will notice your absence and seek you out to rejoin them in their drunkenness because they believe being drunk is an important part of life and they feel your lack of drunkenness is not good for you. They know how awful it would be for them to try to manage life without being drunk. Just the thought of it represents pain for them, so they want to save you by inviting you to come back.

All of this is perfectly normal and fine in all its awkwardness as you move from the day-to-day struggle for survival in everyday life, to enlightenment.

What Is Accepting What Is?

The idea of, “Accepting what is,” was introduced to our consciousness by contemporary spiritual leaders and thought leaders as a method of enhancing a higher vibration of life to be experienced by human beings who embrace the idea of accepting what is, rather than succumb to the feelings of sadness, worry, frustration, self-righteousness, disgust, anger, and hate associated with not accepting what is.

What is accepting what is?

Accepting what is, is the practice of filtering everything that is presented to your consciousness with a moment of conscious review, then to think, feel, and act accordingly in the present moment in a responsible manner; fully aware and as in control of your state of being as possible with as little negative impact as possible and responding with reasonable reaction to appropriately affect change, achieve resolution, or avoidance of further negative impact.

In its most basic form, accepting what is, means,

Accepting What Is and Let It Go

If you are not in danger, and this thing (person, place, situation, or circumstance) is not affecting you in real time, in this moment, take note of it, but do not let it upset you. If there is something you can do about it, take appropriate action, without losing your mind. If there is nothing you can do about it, let it go, and do not let it hold you back from loving, giving, and living your life in a more positive, higher vibration.

Accepting What Is and Take Action

If you are in danger, respond appropriately, without giving in to panic or over-reacting. Fight or flight are still appropriate measures if they are an effective way to respond. You should never willingly avail yourself to abuse or dangerous circumstances. Take the appropriate actions to maintain a reasonable degree of safety and security, but stay present in the moment, and do not allow your fear to overtake your ability to manage life day-to-day.

If you have faced an issue in your life, have taken action, and achieved no desirable results, this is a clear indication that Accepting What Is and Let It Go is a more appropriate course of action. Take the steps to back away, create a safe environment for yourself and focus your efforts in a more effective direction for promoting love, a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Not Accepting What Is = Death

As harsh as it sounds, equating not accepting what is with death, seems like an exaggeration at first blush. Nonetheless, resistance to acceptance promotes emotional incongruence, which overrides your ability to reason, causes people to overreact, and respond inappropriately, i.e. “overkill” (killing a housefly with a hand grenade).

In essence, you get so upset, you want to smash anything or anyone that you disagree with or doesn’t make you feel good. While this may eliminate the source of your disdain, it does not result in making you feel much better.

Plus, the negative impact of the feelings of sadness, worry, frustration, self-righteousness, disgust, anger, and hate take an incredible toll on the psychological and physiological state of the human body, depleting energy reserves, causing rapid decline of the immune system, leading to advanced aging, propensity to contract disease, and increasing the chances of experiencing premature death.

Where is the life in that?

There is no life in not accepting what is. In fact, not accepting what is keeps us, all peoples, separated from each other, fearful, and intolerant. This is not a sustainable way of life for long. Left to itself, not accepting what is, will eventually lead to extinction of humanity.

Accepting What Is

In contrast, accepting what is, allowing what it is to be (if we are unable to change it), without judgment or criticism is approaching life with the power of love.

In fact, you can only accomplish the feat of accepting what is, and allowing who or what it is to just be, with the power of love. It takes the most powerful force in the universe to accomplish such an act.

That is quite a high expectation to have for the world. The world changes to a more loving state moment by moment every time one of its people embraces accepting what is and allowing it to be and maintains a higher vibrational state of being.

Doing so, affects your life, permeating the energy field around you from three to five feet in every direction and creates a positive, loving energetic ripple effect throughout your community and the world.

One person can make a difference and have a huge impact on creating a better world for our planet and all its creatures.

Will you be a part of the change?

Love Talk

When you’re contemplating getting into a romantic relationship, you might consider having the Love Talk with your prospective mate, and if you’re already in a relationship and you haven’t had the Love Talk, yet, do it tonight.

Tonight is the perfect night to go out to dinner and have the Love Talk.

What should you include in the Love Talk?

Here are some ideas to include in your Love Talk tonight:

Where are we going?

Ask your prospective partner what he or she thinks this relationship is leading to? It may be awkward, but you should get your expectations about this relationship out on the table, and you want to know what your partner’s intentions are. If you can the two of you are going to be together, ask your partner, “Where do you see us in five years?” Then ask yourself as well.

What about the Benjamins?

Money is the number one reason relationships break down and fall apart. Talking about money issues at the outset of a relationship can help to avoid the pitfalls and incongruency about finances in the future. Know which money type you are and get to know about your partner’s relationships with the greenbacks. Don’t be shy about asking about bankruptcy, outstanding student loans, and other financial obligations.

Want to have sex?

You want to establish the parameters of your sexual relationship as soon as possible. If you are intending to be in a monogamous relationship you need to be open about this with your partner, and you both need to agree that your relationship is exclusive and includes monogamy. Otherwise, if no clear definition is agreed to, there is no injustice of infidelity if one of you engages in the sex act with someone else. Also talk about other things regarding sex, including expected frequency and fantasies (you don’t want to be surprised when your partner brings someone over to have a threesome). You want to be a match in the bedroom.

How are we going to communicate?

Communication, or the lack of it, is another leading cause of the deterioration of an otherwise healthy romantic relationship. Talking about how you might handle challenging or difficult conversations in the future can put you miles ahead of others who struggle to talk about things when the going gets rough. Create a safe process in advance. Make a plan that you can refer to in the event (when) the need arises to have an important but uncomfortable conversation.

What was life like growing up?

Talk about it now with your partner over dinner, or later in the therapist’s office at a high hourly cost, and possibly at the cost of your relationship, as the way we were brought up, our experiences with friends, relatives, and previous lovers, all have an impact on how we love someone else in our closest of relationships. Be open, compassionate, non-judgmental, and aware. This information can be invaluable in helping this relationship move forward in a positive energetic flow, or give you clues to seeing trouble ahead so that you can be prepared to handle things better if, and when, they come up.

Do you want to get married?

Knowing whether either one or both of you have a desire to marry someday can be important information to have early on in any relationship. Any way the balancing act goes, whether one does, and one doesn’t, both of you don’t want to marry, or both of you want to marry, just the establishment and knowingness of how it is can be extremely helpful. Even if it’s too early to know if you or your current partner are the participants in any given scenario, whether it includes matrimony or not.

You Know I Love You No Matter What You Do

The words we all need to memorize and speak to everyone as often as possible are, “You know I love you no matter what you do.” These words can change people and the planet we all inhabit.

How often do you look around and see what’s wrong with the world, what someone else is doing wrong, noticing things that just aren’t right, and you get frustrated?

You get acclimated to seeing things that are wrong at a very early age, when you were enjoying life, playing, having a good time… then all of a sudden, your parent bursts into your playtime and asks, “Did you do that?”

You could tell your parent was not happy about whatever it is. You didn’t do anything wrong, but your play did result in the thing your parent is questioning you about, so you nod your head and say, “Yes.”

Your honesty was rewarded by a scolding and you are promptly sent to your room. Your feelings are hurt because you didn’t do anything wrong, and you sense the injustice of someone you loved, depended on, cared deeply about, and trust is broken.

At the earliest of ages, you have become keenly aware that the world is a cruel place, full of people who may not be what you think they are, betrayal, and injustice, and you learn to lie, rather than to tell the truth, because you don’t deserve to be mistreated, like that.

Welcome to the world as we know it.

What if, instead, your parent said, “You know, I love you no matter what you do,” then asked you if you were responsible for whatever it was, and did not punish you for being honest?

What if, instead, your parent hugged you said, “That’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to do that. You were just going on about your life and having a good time. You didn’t even notice that thing. You are perfect, just the way you are. That thing can be fixed or replaced. You can’t. You’re precious.

“You know I love you no matter what you do.”

Instantly, your whole world changes.

The world at large changes, too, as you are offered this bit of love and kindness, instead of criticism or judgment, as the predominance of fear is replaced by the power of love, the whole planet is benefited from even the smallest act of it in the life of only one child.

What if that was the approach offered to many children? The impact would be exponential.

And it doesn’t stop there.

What if you were to apply this same concept to your partner? How do you think that might affect your relationship? “I love you no matter what you say, no matter what you do.”

What if you started treating your loved ones, friends and family the same way?

Try it at work…

You could go as far as applying this simple concept to every incongruent situation, circumstance, confrontation, situation, news flash, or negative thought with,

“You know I love you no matter what you do.”

Not followed by a, “but.” Just accepting that things are the way they are. The damage is done. You can’t go back in time and change it. You will have to fix or replace it, anyway.

You could go about the fixing of a thing, or scenario, and think of it as an upgrade, making it better than it was before, and celebrate the newness of it.

Or you could criticize and judge, just like you learned to, you were trained to do, and suffer the consequences of living in discomfort and keeping those around you in fear of not meeting your expectations.

For me and my house,

You know, I love you no matter what you do.

Getting Together in Love with Technology

When a couple decides to move forward and get together in love the relationship takes on a different look and feel. The relationship moves from dating to exclusive, from frivolous to more committed, from curious to loving, as the couple begins to get to know each other better.

In the digital age, contact can be more constant throughout the day which can increase the bonding between the couple, it also causes insecurities to arise because you cannot know what’s going on inside someone else’s head, and what goes on inside your own head can cause one to question the validity of your love. What about your partners?

Then there are your experiences… How will these affect your outlook on the possibilities for the success of this relationship? At every turn, you find yourself asking the internet for information and advice via Alexa, Siri, Echo, Cortana, or Google Assistant.

You want this to be a good experience, and you don’t want this to turn out like your previous relationships, the failed marriages, any dysfunctional relationships of your neighbors and friends, and you would do almost anything not to have the kind of relationship your parents had.

You are going to take the extra time to make sure that this is the right person for you before you move into marriage. You do not want to be another divorce statistic, so the coupling process is longer in the digital age and will likely include a trial run to test the waters prior to making a more solid commitment.

What starts out as sleepovers, turns into spending more time at each other’s abodes, and may lead to one of you abandoning yours, as frightening as that might sound, as you move in together.

Living Together

7 Phases of Love

In the digital age, most relationships test the relationship by getting to know each other better by cohabitating. You get to know each other better when you’re seeing your partner’s lifestyle around the clock.

What is he or she like when the evening tarries on and his or her energy systems begin to slow down? When he or she wakes, is enthusiasm abundant, is he or she bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, or is he or she barely alive and quietly nursing a cup of coffee for 57 minutes before uttering a word?

Since opposites attract, taking the time to see how someone lives, can help you wrap your head around the idea whether the sacrifices you might have to make to accommodate this person will be worth it, and while people can change, you know hoping for change, to accommodate your preferences may not be likely. Can you live with that?

Conflict

Whether you’re living together, or not, it is in this coupling phase that you will get to know each other better. You will start to see each other at your best, as well as your worst, and you will have your first disagreement.

Depending on how much the flow of love’s hormones are in play will dictate the severity of this first challenge of real life, but there’s a good chance that you will make it through with the ability to arrive at an acceptable compromise or agreeing to disagree.

Be aware that conflict is part of the game, and without it, there can be no growth, not individually nor as a couple.

So, get used to the idea that there are going to be times when things get a little dicey, and look at these difficult times as opportunities to learn and grow together in love.

Disingenuous Lovers

Disingenuous lovers include those who are insensitive, having little ability to possess or share the heartfelt love that you might have, and will also include partners who approach love from completely different perspectives, these are the survivors, manipulators, and predators, among others.

With all the attempts to try to find a suitable partner who can love you in the very same way that you can love him or her, still there can exist an incompatibility in the type and style of love and loving which you share. Sometimes you discover yourself unequally yoked with a disingenuous or fake love.

Probably the most difficult part of finding a vibrationally matched lover, one that approaches the idea of love in a way that is harmonious with you, is so elusive, sometimes we just give-in, compromise, and accept what is more attainable, then work out the details later in the relationship.

The earlier in your relationship that you are able to identify the energetic love vibration which is incompatible with you, the better. Regardless of when the identification becomes aware to you, and you or your partner take the action(s) necessary to lead to the relationship’s cessation, the process of disengagement and disconnection can be quite painful for either or both parties in the relationship which has become unmanageable.

Insensitive People

Those people who are less sensitive than the rest of us, may have limited capacity for love and the feelings which are associated with love and romantic relationships. While they are able to connect to another person, their ability to connect is somewhat limited, therefore they are not easily hurt when the relationship begins to uncouple or fall apart.

Insensitive people are not bad people, even though they can easily be demonized when the relationship begins to deteriorate, and they are not as moved emotionally as the other partner might be. It’s easy to assume they don’t care, are mean, or evil, even though their motives may be absent of malice. Lacking in capacity does not make them bad people, it’s just the way they are.

This type of coupling, the sensitive with the insensitive, is not uncommon as in the courting process, these opposites are generally attracted to each other. Insensitive people can change and become more sensitive over time, but the sensitive partner cannot change them (so give up on any expectation that you might be able make him or her more sensitive, this is a solo part of the journey for the insensitive).

Survivors

Survivors are those who will do or say anything in order to survive. This was a far more popular motivator in the acquisition of love and finding a suitable mate in our not too distant past. In a time when it was difficult for a single person of low or normal means there existed a great deal of importance focused on finding someone to cohabitate with or marry to prevent homelessness or being shunned by society.

Even though in modern times we embrace the idea of being able to survive (and sometimes thrive) as adult singles, there are still those who seek out a mate to enhance their ability to enjoy the basic necessities of life.

Manipulators

Manipulators take the idea of surviving to the next level. They desire not only to survive but to benefit greatly from their matchmaking efforts. They find suitable mates based on what they can bring to the relationship which is highly sought after by the manipulative love-seeker, who may also lean toward narcissism.

They have an uncanny ability to pour on the charm to persuade the object of their affection that he or she is indeed, “the one.” The answer to all your hopes and dreams in terms of love, and we all, regardless of our station in life, desire and long to be loved, therefore may fall victim to this type of manipulation in the courting process.

Predators

Predators are those who maliciously exploit the unsuspecting tender hearts to their benefit, using romance and the promise of love to defraud or abuse their love-prey for their own satisfaction. These are most likely the predatory sociopaths and psychopaths who are just out to exploit love-seekers for whatever they can get.

With the least ability to have compassion or feelings, they are especially gifted in their skills as users and abusers. They will only leave when your supply has been exhausted and you are no further use for them, or you have identified them, insulated and separated yourself from them.

Let ’em Go

Even though it can be painful and difficult to let the disingenuous lover go, let him or her go.

If your love is not recipricated and/or not a match for you, let him go. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship without love. Set yourself free and open for love.

Not to do so, is self-abuse and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Stay Open

Not to cast a dark could on your love seeking, because there are authentic genuine lovers who are perusing the landscape of people in search of you and your unique ability to love and be loved.

Stay open and aware that there are more people whom you are incompatible with than those with whom you are compatible with to varying degree in terms of your unique love vibration.

Don’t be in a hurry or try to rush things, as he or she may not be perfectly aligned with you at the moment. Your soul mate may be looking for you while in the process of working on his or her alignment, just as you are, in this moment.

When you are both a vibrational match, you will find yourselves looking into each other’s eyes.

I Just Got Dumped!

It happens… We get all enamored and create a connection with someone who has something else in mind and they announce the time has come for them to go (or they just disappear into the darkness) and you just can’t believe, “I just got dumped!”

Understandably, when someone you cared about deeply suddenly exits your life it is painful and may be complicated by the degree of surprise which might come into play if you didn’t see it coming.

Some other issues that might come into play may be due to the guilt which might be felt by the exiting partner. If there exists a high degree of guilt at play, there might be a flood of false accusations hurled toward you to justify the departure of the exiting partner. Just remember, if you are blamed for their leaving you, these accusations are highly over-exaggerated in an effort to make him or her feel better about bailing out on you.

Try not to take it personally (when little else could be more personal) when they try to blame you for everything they can possibly think of to make you look and feel as bad as they can possibly make you feel.

The good news is, this person just bailed out on you.

Now you know what kind of person this really was. You probably had no idea that he or she was the kind of person who would just walk out on you and leave you holding the bag, like that. Now you know.

Thank God, you know now, and are not finding out much later, when the stakes could have been much higher.

It’s not much consolation at the beginning of the separation when your feelings are running amok due to the fierce rejection and sense of betrayal which may be overwhelming in the moment.

Keep in mind that you are the best person you know. You know this because you would have never done this to him or her. You loved and trusted, got stabbed in the back, and discarded like yesterday’s trash. You are a loving, special, and adorable person and just because someone doesn’t want you, it doesn’t mean you’re any less the person that you know you are.

“If one person doesn’t love you, someone else will love you. There’s always someone else.” ~ don Miguel Ruiz

Obviously, he or she was not good enough for you. You deserve only your highest and best in a mate, someone who will love, care and cherish you just as much (if not more, which would be crazy) as you do. The best love is reciprocal.

You can enthusiastically be grateful for the opportunity to find your highest and best in a mate, your soul mate. Someone who is perfectly matched for your best life which is waiting for you. This soul mate will not be perfect, for none of us are, but this person will be perfect for you, even including his or her imperfections.

This perfect matching calls in the sacred opportunity to grow and expand together without causing each other harm. Instead, you hold each other up, celebrating everything about each other as heart-to-heart and hand-in-hand you traverse the various road conditions encountered along the journey of your lives both individually and together.

And you are blessed.

None of this would have been possible if you weren’t dumped.

So thankful he or she left.