Seven Seconds to Change the World

When I change my world the world changes
Seven seconds at a time.

When you look around the world, it’s easy to get distracted by all the things in the world you don’t want or like. You focus on the things that upset you, the things you wish you could change but are not within your reach. When you focus on things that you cannot change, you add energy to those things, and they proliferate, gaining energetic advantage.

Your attentive disapproval causes those things you don’t like, which are outside of your circle of influence, to grow and become even more problematic.

What about the things in your life that you can change?

If you focus on the intimate details of your life, and those situations and circumstances within your circle of influence that you can change, you have the ability to change your own life, which in effect changes the world.

When I change my world the world changes

The key is the ability to affect change. If you simply observe and turn your attention to something you add to the energetic power of it. If you observe something that you can impact or change, and you take the action necessary to change a thing, it changes.

The result of changing anything you have the ability to influence in your life has a ripple effect which changes the lives of those within arm’s reach, rippling out to the local community, the community at large, and the world.

That little ripple from your change which may seem to have little significance to you picks up momentum as it ripples throughout the world, picking up energy, inspiring others to make these little changes.

In this way, one little change you make inspires someone else to make a change, which inspires someone else to make a change. On and on it goes, when one day you look back and see the whole world changes and this greater change had the ability to come to fruition thanks to your being a part of the change.

When something captures your attention, you can focus your attention on it making it more powerful, or if it appears to be negative and beyond your influence or control, change your attention to something you can affect, or something delightful.

Seven Second Delay

By focusing your attention for more than seven seconds adds energy to what is capturing your attention. If you can refocus from something negative to a positive thought within seven seconds, the negative energy is unsupported by your energy, and the new more positive thought is promoted for every moment which exceeds the seven-second delay.

When you change your attention to something that makes you happy or fills your heart with love, it increases. The more you focus your attention on the things that you like, the more powerful they become.

Adding energy to the things you love has a ripple effect which spreads throughout the community and the world, filling the energetic field with positivity making the world a better place.

Warriors who fight against what they abhor add energy to the very thing they are fighting against. They would yield greater results for their efforts by supporting the solution rather than focusing on the problem.

You can do it any way you want.

One person may not be able to change the world by making one small change, but if millions or billions of people made one small change, the world changes.

Let today be the time for change.



What Is Your Love Language?

When you express your affection to someone, you possess a certain style and method for communicating how you feel. Likewise, your partner has a particular method of expressing him- or her-self. Both of you also have certain expressions which you are particularly fond of that make you feel as though you are deeply loved. This method of giving and receiving love is a form of communication referred to as your “love language” as coined by author Gary Chapman.

What Is your love language?

Gary Chapman

In Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, he delineates five different communication methods or styles of communicating love. By reducing these into five basic categories, you can easily determine which love language(s) you and your partner are most aligned with.

According to the author, everyone has a primary and secondary love language. Most people tend to express their love for their partner using their own love language. If getting a gift from someone make you feel loved and cherished, then it is highly likely that you will express your love to your partner by giving him or her a gift because Receiving Gifts is your primary love language.

What if your partner’s heart speaks a different love language?

Here is the rub: You buy your partner gifts because this is meaningful for you but your partner’s heart speaks an entirely different love language. No matter how many gifts you give your partner to express your affection for him or her, while appreciated, your partner is not receptive to the sincerity and tenderness of your love’s message.

Learning what love language your partner’s heart speaks is a highly regarded tool for effective love communication.

Let’s take a brief look at Chapman’s five love languages. They are:

1. Words of Affirmation

If your partner’s love language is Words of Affirmation, his or her heart responds to certain spoken and/or written words which make him or her feel loved and appreciated, such as, “I love you,” “You are amazing,” “You look sexy in that outfit,” or, “I am so proud of you.”

Different words of affirmation work best for different people. What might be seen as a compliment to one person might be seen as offensive to the next. Taking your time to do a little research to find out which words and phrases your Words of Affirmation partner responds best to is effort well spent.

2. Quality Time

If your partner’s heart responds to Quality Time, he or she will revel in spending private and focused one-on-one time with you.

Could be anything from a quaint dinner out at a restaurant with enough privacy to talk and gaze into each other’s eyes to sitting on the sofa with the TV turned down and phones silenced, having one-on-one time. Attentive listening to your partner and giving him or her the uninterrupted space to express him-or her-self wile you look into his of her eyes and listen attentively could be done anywhere, anytime, if he or she is receptive to this type of loving communication.

3. Receiving Gifts

If your partner’s heart responds to gifts, keep in mind that they not all be expensive gifts. Simple gifts are just as meaningful, if not more so. A handmade card, presenting a freshly picked flower while taking a stroll with your partner, or giving your partner a monetary gift that he or she can contribute to his or her favorite charity.

Those who are prone to receiving gifts as a sign of being loved and cherished will desire a little something-something in between holidays to feel deeply loved. Fortunately for you, they don’t have to be expensive, only meaningful to your partner.

4. Acts of Service

Acts of service are those things that you do which make your partner feel loved and adored. Like all love languages, you will need to find out which specific acts speak to your partner’s heart.

Simple acts of service could include volunteering to perform a chore which your partner normally accepts as his or her responsibility, detailing his or her car, or joining in an activity your partner is engaged in to show love and supportiveness. Pretty much any assistance you can offer to “lighten the load” of any responsibility he or she might have would be particularly endearing to the Act of Service lover.

5. Physical Touch

People either like being touched or they don’t but if your partner’s heart longs for physical tough, then by all means, reach out and touch him or her, even if you are one who doesn’t like to touch or be touched.

Simple touching can be just holding hands in public, a little foot-play under the table at dinner, putting your hand on his or her arm or leg while deeply connecting in conversation or listening will go a long way with someone whose love language is Physical Touch.

Of course, sexual intimacy is assumed in the language of Physical Touch, but it need not be the primary form of communication to express sincere love.

For more information, check out The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

What is your love language?

Shock Absorbers

Victims of abuse are the superheroes who have come to this planet to experience and absorb the impact of abuse for the benefit of the world at large. Your experience exposes, educates and changes the world, and you are the conduit of the transformative change.

Shock absorbers - victims of abuse
Shock absorbers – victims of abuse

I am so grateful for the victims of the most abhorrent abuses in our modern society. While I would never wish any of the atrocities which have been suffered by these individuals, they have often (if not always and unbeknownst to them) pledged their service to the greater good, and their participation in this special calling is nothing less than heroic.

Sometimes, the act of submitting yourself to suffer abuse on the behalf of others is conscious, like in a hostage situation and the captor(s) are going to torture or kill one of the hostages, and you volunteer to be the first victim. How courageous is that? To sacrifice yourself for the sake of sparing the others. Even if you end up paying the price of your benevolent act of service requires paying the ultimate sacrifice and you give your life for the benefit of others.

In that hostage scenario, you absorbed the shock which faced the entire world in that moment. It was the worst of circumstances which involved and affected the whole world, not just you and the other hostages. It is also a tragic event for the captors, negotiators, law enforcement, reporters, witnesses, healthcare and mental health professionals. Not to mention friends and relatives of active and passive participants, and anyone else who may become aware of the abusive event.

An abusive event ripples through the local community and the world at large.

What about silent victims of abuse?

Placing yourself in harm’s way to absorb any abuse that might otherwise visit someone less equipped to take the abuse is also heroic, even if it takes place in secret and no one ever knows that you’re taking the abuse spared anyone else from having to suffer.

Until the world shifts from barbarianism to enlightenment there will be abuse and someone will have to suffer. And there are those who being a sufferer of abuse is a part of their journey. They actually decided or knew before they were born, that their journey would include this suffering to help make a difference, to change the world, and play an integral part in stopping the patterns of abuse our society turns a blind eye to or tolerates.

Sometimes, someone who has suffered abuse becomes a key component in exposing, reducing, or eliminating that particular type of abuse, while others take it upon themselves to reach out in support of other victims.

Often, a victim of abuse cannot imagine that anyone else could have suffered a similar type of abuse, so a survivor of abuse can be priceless in the rehabilitation process of any abuse victim.

Then, there are others who insist on silently hiding the abuse(s) they’ve suffered never letting anyone know and doing their very best to deal with it without saying a word to anyone or doing anything about it.

I would never advise anyone to subject themselves to abuse. If you have been a victim of abuse, you should see to the cessation of the abuse as soon and effectively as possible.

If you are one of those who has decided to take the abuse and remain in silence, you must do whatever you need to do any way you need to do it. There is no judgment for you here. You are a blessed shock absorber, any way you decide to do it, and you are a blessing.

We feel bad, because we want to help you. We don’t want to see you suffering, like this. Some of us are empathetic and can feel some of the feelings that you are going through or know how we would feel if what you were going through was happening to us, and we would do anything we could to help you.

There are others who know your pain. They have walked in your shoes. They have remained in silence while they were being abused, and they did find a way out. They are here, too, hoping you will reach out to someone. We are all here to support your choice, whether you choose to reach out or not.

No one is doing it wrong.

After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

May the shock absorbers of the world be blessed for all that you do and endure.

You are loved, the shock absorbers of the world, today.

You Are Always Right

Everything you believe to be true is true until that moment that you decide to believe something else to be true. You are truth, and truth is always changing and evolving, as you are exposed to new, or emerging information, which causes the truth matrix to shift and adapt to new paradigms. No matter where you are in the truth matrix, you are always in the matrix of truth, therefore you are always right.

Everything is truth which exists in the matrix of truth, so no matter what you think or believe, you are always right. You have nothing to defend. You never have to apologize for being in a different subsection of the truth matrix from anyone else. You are never believing in a non-truth, only in a truth location that is differentiated from another in the truth matrix possibly quite different than a previous truth coordinate where your attention may have been focused previously.

The truth matrix is always evolving and infinitely ever-expanding. It is not a stagnant, definitive, or limited set of data, as much as we would love it to be. There’s a comfort in having the fantasy that you can understand all there is about any given thing. This is impossible in the matrix of truth because every time you discover a new truth, a hundred thousand other truths are born in the expansion.

It can be somewhat confusing when you realize that other people, every other person, is at a different location inside the matrix of truth, and no two people can be at the same location in the truth matrix at the same time.

Truths represent specific coordinates inside the truth matrix. The truth matrix is not limited to 2D coordinates, such as longitude and latitude. Each truth includes a specific address with at least a 4D, WXYZ coordinate.

When you become aware of the truth matrix, it doesn’t make any sense to wrap your head around the concept of having any need to demand that anyone have a similar collection of truth addresses compiled to match yours.

Yet, there are the societal designers who exert a great deal of energy to keep us from understanding the vastness of the truth matrix and seek to use specific truths to keep us separated from each other.

You have been programmed from birth to believe in specific truths and defend them with a high degree of enthusiasm. You have been taught to challenge the beliefs or truths highly held by others and exert a great deal of emotional effort to persuade those who are not inagreementt with you to change their truth to match yours.

The narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths seem to dominate the positions of the persuaders who are the most effective converters of others by lording over or bullying others to subject themselves to their particular ideas, beliefs, or limited collection of truths. The idea of letting you think for yourself will send a persuader into a rage, and he or she might even be willing to exert berating, shame, disrespect, intimidation, restraint, or force, even lethal force, to punish others for not adhering to their set of truths.

It’s as if the designers of our social matrix would do anything to keep us as oppositely polarized as possible. Why might they want to keep us divided in any, and as many, way(s) possible? Because we are easier to manage either individually or in groups. These groups are often separated by specific compilations of truths or beliefs.

Easy to manage (control). Not so easy to control: seven-and-a-half-billion enlightened, empowered individuals.

The barbarian tactics of the predatory persuaders are unsustainable amidst the expansive light of growing evolutionary consiousness.

Everything you believe in the matrix of truth is truth and you are always right. Just as you have the right to resonate with the truth you’ve discovered, so should any other person have the right to hold their own truths they have discovered elsewhere in the matrix.

Nothing is more-or-less true, except in your own compilation of truth as you recognize and sort your discoveries for yourself, and your allowance and honoring of anyone else to discover their truth for themselves without judgment is the essence of true love.

Nonetheless, more and more of us are awakening every second of every day, and fewer and fewer of us are falling for the magic tricks of the social designers.

People, just like you and me, are beginning to ask questions, find their own answers, and explore the matrix of truth.

Who Do You Think You Are?

As you traverse your life’s journey, who do you think you are? You start asking questions about your identity, “Who am I?” Who are you? “Am I just an animated biological form helplessly trying to make my way through the rat’s maze of life?” If you are, “What’s the point of my being here at all?” So, you look for meaning in life, and I ask you,

“Who do you think you are?”

I present to you an exercise which might help you find clarity about who you are. You might be surprised that you are far more than you’ve ever given yourself credit for because most people think you are who you are, when nothing could be further from the truth.

When you come to this life, you are given a body and a name. This is who you think you are because that is how the whole world outside of you refers to you, so it’s no surprise that this is who you think you are.

You look in the mirror and you see the reflection of the person you think you are. You can see your body which is recognizable by the name you’ve been given. But this is not who you are.

This is your body which has been given a name which is associated with your body.

You can look at your hand and think that this is your hand, but it is not your hand, it’s your body’s hand. If you cut your hand and see blood dripping from it, you might express something, like “I am bleeding.” Only you are not bleeding. Your body’s hand is bleeding.

If you could take your hand off and put it on the opposite side of the room, and look at it, you can see that you are not your hand. You are still here. You can see your hand over there, yet you are still complete, so you are not the hand.

Continuing this exercise with all the parts of the body will help you to realize that you are not this body which has been labeled with the name which has been assigned to you.

You are something more.

Then you think, “Oh, I am thinking, therefore I am my mind.”

Yet, if you would dare to do it, you could consider continuing the exercise by removing everything that you think you are, all your experiences, thoughts, and beliefs, every thought, and you are still there.

You are something more.

When you’ve completed this phase of the exercise, you realize that you are not the mind. What you are is the conscious source of all life. You can put any label on this which suits your personal paradigm. For me, I refer to this as God because that resonates with me.

If this conscious source of all life were removed from the body with your name associated with it, your lifeless body would collapse to the floor.

Once you understand this, you can see that you are this divine consciousness which is present in all life on this planet, our galaxy, all the galaxies in the universe, and whatever is beyond.

In this manner, you realize that you are one with everything, but you are experiencing this life as a journey witnessed from the vantage point of your identity in your body, so enjoy this life’s journey for what it is.

You might not be able to identify with this exercise and that is perfectly fine. There is no judgment here, and you are perfectly correct in whatever you think about who you are.

Who do you think you are?

Toxic Relationship Much?

Unless you’re called to live the single life (as some people are), you are genetically designed and physically manifested as an individual who thrives as one-half of a romantic coupling with another. The benefits of this coupling are enhanced by joining together in the sacred bond of marriage.

Notably, there is a huge difference between the benefits of taking wedding vows for a good marriage between two people and the tragic toxicity of trying to manage a bad marriage.

In the best relationships, marriage is good medicine. There are at least 12 health benefits you can enjoy from being in a healthy love relationship with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be perfect by any means, just moderately meaningful, manageable, and positive for the most part.

On the other hand, even though you may enter a relationship with the best intentions, and pledged to be bonded for life, marriage can be very toxic, and thank God, if it is abusive or unmanageable, there is a way out.

If you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship this is a call to arms. You should look for insights within yourself, seek refuge, get out and be safe. No marriage or commitment to a relationship requires your being abused, ever. It only signifies your need to leave, learn, and move on.

For those of you who predisposed to looking for red flags in relationships, some early warning signs of relationships which could potentially go sideways on you might include keeping secrets or withholding (which is tantamount to lying).

Being dishonest, deceptive, sneaking around, and hiding things are signs of something deeper and darker which will show its hidden identity one day.

As you enter into a relationship, if you’re witnessing assertions of “this is yours” and “this is mine” attitude about a variety of things, be aware that this kind of division is counter-intuitive for genuine coupling where the focus should be on the “sharing” of most things.

While the yours-and-mine attitude is generally accepted as a healthy perspective, often supported by relationship professionals and the legal community, it fosters separateness and can be extremely problematic when fighting over what rightly belongs to whom in the process of dissolution which can be extremely traumatic and expensive.

If your mate is likely to spend time pointing out all your faults (or often accusing you of possessing his or her faults) it is highly unlikely that you will ever be good enough for this person, expect it only to get worse.

Conflict in a good relationship leads to resolution, while conflict in an unhealthy relationship demands compliance or sacrifice and often leads to chaos and abuse.

A mate who is unsupportive and selfish will not put forth the effort to put the work into making the relationship better, unless he or she is able to manipulate a relationship therapist or coach to support his or her agendas, as a method to manipulate and mold you for his or her benefit.

If you’re not the most important person in your partner’s life, his or her priorities are not in alignment with the goals of a healthy and happy relationship between two people. This is not to say that your partner should have a healthy independence and positive friends and social connections, only that you should be the most highly regarded person in their circle of influence.

A toxic partner will emphasize your missteps and hold grudges against you ad infinitum when forgiveness and creating a new normal is the order of the day in dealing with relationship shortfalls, loving through our imperfections, leading to a better healing day, moving positively into the future together.

Marriage is a celebration of the life of two people. It is a joining of two people co-creating a positive future together and upholds the sacred potential which surpasses the potential of either party without the other.

Toxic or abusive relationships indicate your need to look within to find why you might have attracted this life circumstance. Please look inside and find what lurks in the dark recesses of your soul because if you don’t, your next relationship will present you with the same problematic circumstances.

Only you have the power to stop this negative relationship cycle by doing the deep inner work and embracing all the love which resides inside of you. Only then, will you be able to move on in unconditional love, which is desperately waiting for you,

Parental Regret

Life is full of regrets, and in general mother and father, the parents in our modern society, espouse the most regrets of all having sacrificed all for the family. This is parental regret.

It’s that point in life when the father looks back at his life and the way he’s defined it, “I loved my family so much that I put them first. I worked so hard to give them what they wanted I was rarely home and when I was, I was exhausted.

I was in an almost constant state of panic, scurrying around trying to make the best life possible for my children. They meant that much to me that I sacrificed my all for them, my precious children, the light(s) of my life, whom I would sacrifice anything for, I love them so much.”

Working hard, spending countless hours commuting, working, educating yourself and volunteering so that you might be able to get a better job or move up the corporate ladder to better provide for your family which presents you with increasing financial challenges every year.

Then there is that moment when the children have left the nest and the mother lays back on the sofa in the empty home and thinks, “I loved my family so much that I put them first. I worked so hard to give them what they wanted, I never had any time for myself. Even if I could have, I wouldn’t have had the energy. I was exhausted.”

I was almost in a constant state of panic as I scurried around looking after everyone else without any thought of myself. They meant so much to me I sacrificed my all for them. Now that I have time to be myself, I don’t even know who I am without them.”

Mother and father express similar regrets with one marked difference.

In general, the stay-at-home parent/mother wins the adoration of the children because she “was there,” for them, when on the other hand, the father (or working mother) “was never there,” for them and they resent the father’s not “being there” for them.

In terms of the overall effect of parenting, the mother wins the love of the children while the offspring resent the father for his (or in the case of the working mother, “her”) lack of attention and constant absenteeism.

And if that wasn’t enough…

When the children grow up, no matter how hard you did the best that you could to give them the best life possible, they spend the rest of their lives in therapy because of you.

(In the best-case scenarios, the parents are left in the dark about the thousands of hours and dollars spent on their offspring’s therapy due to their genuinely inspired attempts at child rearing.)

… more parental regret.

So, what’s the answer?

As much as you might desire a do-over, the only hope we have is to look at the past and from this moment forward navigate toward a better future.

Fathers and mothers who are working hard away from the home to support the children better make it a priority to find and/or make time to spend with those precious children if you want them to value you and your sacrifice.

Also, if you’re a parent, it is important to take some time out to do a little something-something for yourself occasionally. You need this to re-charge your batteries and to better serve your family without resentment or regret.

Parents should also make time for private time spent celebrating each other. Without this, you will drift apart and lose that precious love-connection.

For the parents whose children have already left home to live their lives and consider the possibilities of starting their own families and careers:

Embrace the regret and reject the guilt of your past parenting shortfalls.

Regret allows inspiration to do better from this point forward, while guilt relentlessly punishes you repeatedly for something that cannot be changed.

The fact remains, you did the best you could with what you had.

If you recognize you could have done better, accept the fact that what is done is done, and from this point forward you can make a better life for you and your children, no matter how old they might be, by celebrating their lives with them in the now.

Even if you weren’t “there for them” in the past, you can be there for them now.

Starting now.

Want a Do Over?

Ever look back on your life and think, “I could have done that better,” and wished you could go back in time and have a do-over, kind’a like Groundhog Day? What? You say you want a do-over?

Who doesn’t want a do-over?

I can certainly think of things I’ve done in the past, that had I known then what I know now, I would certainly have done things differently.

I’ll bet you have some things you could have done better, and you’d like a chance for a do-over, too.

Unfortunately, you can’t wake up every morning to the alarm clock’s warning to start the day over, over and over again, until you get it right.

Even though, in a very real way, every day is another chance for a do-over.

Every day, you have the chance to tweak something in your attitude, the way you experience or interface with life, or change your life in some way for the better so that you can live your best life and have the potential to make the world a better place.

Since you can’t go back in time, you can always go back to the future. Every day is a new chance of changing the future by trying something a little differently than you might have done before.

If something has gone particularly poorly in the past, you can’t change it. There’s no use in stressing out of beating yourself up for something that’s already taken place, It is what it is, but you can make the future better and change the future in the now, one moment at a time.

You can wait around for the end of the world as you know it, or create a new, more exciting, and a better world every day. It’s all up to you.

Don’t be shy about trying something differently. When you do something different than you normally would, whether it be at home, at work, taking an alternate route, or changing up your routine a little bit, you change the whole timeline which affects not only your life but the life of others all around you.

Whenever you’re feeling like your life is beginning to fall into a rut, or each day is looking pretty much like the day before, this is time to shake it up and try something different, possibly even something for the first time. Trying something completely different can really change the future.

Do something good. Anytime you perform a benevolent act or engage in spreading love via random acts of kindness, you rack up credit in the universal bank of goodwill. What you give comes back around to you and those who you love.

Life moves and changes faster than the speed of light and every thought that you think, every move you make and action you take changes the world in an instant. And so, it is for every other person, thing, natural or unnatural occurrence.

Get used to the idea that people and things are just the way they are. Do not try to extend any extra effort in trying to change people or things. Accepting and celebrating things as they are, allows you to act and maneuver in the flow of life that is progressive and non-resistant.

Make sure that the people in your life who bless you and increase the quality of your life are appreciated by letting them know. If you don’t tell them or acknowledge them in some way, you could be better because you just never know when the last time you have to recognize or express gratitude to them might be.

If you’re looking for love, find the source of true love which resides within you and love yourself with everything you’ve got. By being the love that you want, you will attract the love you desire.

Finally, understand that you are the author of your story, and as such, you can change the story at ay particular point in time. Any time you do something different you change your story, the story of others, and the future of the whole world.

So, if you want a do-over, today is the day. Right now. This moment. Do something different and change the world.

If the world is a game, fine. Let you be the game changer.

Invisible Abuse

Ever notice the stuff that makes you angry about the world?

It happens every day, if not all day long, something captures your attention, spins you up, and you can’t believe this kind of stuff happens in our world today, yet, here it is.

You think (if you don’t say it), “Aargh!” and might add, “I hate it when that happens!” You feel your negative emotions swell up and they overcome your rational mind, even if nothing happened to you directly.

It’s as if you’ve been physically assaulted even though no one has touched you.

You are the victim of invisible abuse

The societal structure which is the containment method of those who seek to control and herd a massively growing population is formulated in such a way to use fear and belief systems as a method to invisibly restrict and harness its inhabitants.

Not unlike the electronic invisible fence method of placing a shock collar on a dog. The collar emits an electric shock when the dog gets too close to the perimeter, keeping the dog from making a break for it and running free. No physical fence which can be seen by the naked eye is seen, only a wire buried beneath the surface to trigger the shock collar is all that’s needed.

You are being invisibly controlled by your negative reactions (the electronic shock collar), just like that invisible fence method keeps the dog invisibly restrained.

This constant barrage of negative shocks (which really are represented as electric shocks firing inside the brain, flooding your body with chemicals that cause you to fear, panic, or get upset and angry) is the invisibly abusive control tactic wielded by those who are charged with seeing that you are controlled, obedient, and easily handled (manipulated).

This all seems quite normal. Just as it would appear to be a perfectly normal way of life for the dog, had the dog been fitted for a shock collar since it was birthed. Likewise, we accept this invisible abuse as a part of life and it keeps us easily manageable as we stay inside the invisible fence.

As effective as the invisible fence is, every now and then, you see a dog wearing a shock collar running free, admiring its ability to find a way to break free from the invisible abuse.

Our fence of invisible abuse is not one hundred percent effective. Every once in a while someone breaks free from the system and finds true freedom and liberty.

From inside the invisible fence, you could hardly imagine why anyone would want to be outside the invisible electric fence of negative emotional shock treatment. We’ve become so accustomed to it being the natural state of things, that we wonder why anyone would even think of anything differently. Even if you were inclined to dare to imagine what might be outside the fence of invisible abuse,


Your attention is interrupted with a negative shock to the brain, which distracts you from the passing thought that there might be a life outside the negativity as your body starts to react with rage, fight or flight, in the struggle for survival inside the fence.

“Look at what’s happening!” (Not at what might be on the other side of the invisible fence. Let the invisible abuse overtake you.)

This doesn’t even take into consideration, that you are surrounded by other people who have been trained by electroshock therapy to do whatever they can to keep you victimized by the negative electric voltage. They’ve become so used to the invisible abuse that they’ve learned how to create and disseminate their own form of shocking attention-grabbing invisible abuse to keep you restrained within the invisible fence of their own creation.

And so, it is.

But there are those who have made it outside the invisible fence of abuse who can see clearly what is happening from this vantage point of real freedom and liberty.

Increasingly, more and more people are awakening to the idea of the invisible fence of abuse and they are finding the courage to make a break for it, finding themselves on the other side.

Sometimes, they go back, because they can’t imagine living outside the invisible fence of abuse, while the others find new ways to live outside the fence.

The next time you find yourself “shocked” by negative thought and you’re thinking, “Aargh! I hate it when that happens!” what will you do?


Getting to Know You

When you’re getting to know someone, you are also letting them get to know you better. The best way to do this is to be open, honest, find common ground and communicate with each other as you build a relationship without judgment. Especially in the beginning, it’s best to avoid conversations which can lead to disagreement or conflict.

Not being quick to assume, accuse or judge someone can go a long way in building rapport, so just don’t go there. If you have some pressing thought, idea or question that might be offensive, wait until you have built rapport and get to know each other better. This will also help you to have a better idea about how to approach the idea or question in a way that is respectful of his or her personality and communication style.

If I am getting to know you as a person, you are no threat to me. I am investing my efforts to get to know you better, without you having to prove yourself worthy of my attention or friendship. As I get to know you better, I learn whether I can trust you. If I can, trust develops, and you move closer to my inner circle of relationships.

Invite those you are getting to know to ask questions if anything is unclear about what you are talking about, especially if it is in regard to you or the kind of person that you are. It is common for someone who is harboring an unspoken question to file it away as if it was asked but left unanswered. This figures into their matrix of understanding or judging who you are as a person.

There is no blame associated with this process, it is just how the human brain works. By being open and inviting invitations to query you, the unspoken questions may be addressed and clarified.

When I’m getting to know someone, I like to add value to the conversation by giving them something to think about, challenge them (without overwhelming them) or make them feel a little better than before we exchanged ideas. If it’s appropriate, I might suggest a little homework assignment and invite them to get back to me on how it turned out.

You never know which acquaintances might grow and develop into lifelong friends, so leave the door open for them to reconnect with you again. It might be a good idea to set a date and time for reconnecting at the end of this conversational exchange.

If it sounds like they are uncertain about their schedule or may not feel as though this might be more than what they bargained for, not to worry. Make sure you arm them with a manner by which you can be contacted in the future, if they are feeling like they might like to reconnect or get to know you better later, at a time when it is more convenient for them.

If you’ve been able to garner some valuable insight or nugget of truth from your interaction with this person, by all means, tell him or her. Every interaction between two people has the potential for enlightenment, acknowledging such opens the door for even more. Everyone feels good about lending value to another’s life, even if only in small, otherwise insignificant ways.

So, be on the lookout for something positive in each interaction and chances are you will find something beneficial, helpful, or a thought or idea which raises your enthusiasm or joy.

Take advantage of the digital tools you possess. Exchange email addresses or offer to hook up on social media. This helps to maintain contact or allow this person to reach out to you when the timing is better for him or her.

Not all the people you meet will be a good match for developing a deeper relationship with. In fact, some can even be disadvantageous or harmful. If the new person you’ve met becomes a drain on your resources, then know when to move along.

Some people can be like a black hole of negative energy, draining your and others whenever they are around. There is no judgment here because it’s just the way they are. You cannot change an energy vampire or prevent them from draining your energy but you must find ways to isolate yourself enough so as to not let them drain you and move on.

If you are sensitive and aware enough to identify this person as a potential energy drain at the get-go, there is no need to offer an opportunity to reconnect at a later date. Be polite, trust your instincts and proceed appropriately.

Be gentle with those you choose to move on and away from. Honor them and protect yourself. Be mindful of who they are as a person and have empathy for their plight without exposing yourself too much or offending them.

Many an offended person with low self-esteem has taken to the Internet with false accusations, negative reviews, and public forum bad-mouthing in an attempt to seek revenge for having their feelings hurt.

This is bound to happen occasionally but being mindful and cautious can help you in taking the high road to living a better life, while honoring others who are only doing the best they can with what they have, just like us.