davidmastersadmin | David M Masters

Got It You Can Do It

There is no doubt, you got this and you can do it, but what does it take to get from here to there? And how can I move more quickly and confidently towards what I want?

As you may have noticed, some people are more likely to attract the things they desire because, like Larry the Cable Guy, they simply git er done. But what makes them think they can do it?

The substructure that is the foundation of their can do attitude is a general feeling of knowing they have confidence to problem-solve and achieve. This confidence can come from a variety of sources, like:

Mastery, Witness, Social Empowerment and Wellbeing

Mastery of a particular skill or practice implies that you have performed this particular activity with a satisfactory result before. The level of mastery is dependent on how many times you have completed this task with a level of competency. The knowledge that you have been there and done that without fail gives you the confidence and competence to think that you’re likely to successfully do so the next time the opportunity arises.

The witness has seen a procedure from start to finish on one or more occasions and believes it is possible to reproduce a satisfactory result based on the fact that he or she has seen the process before.

If you have witnessed a process in action, obviously it’s not the same thing as having done it before but you have a huge advantage over the majority of people who have no idea about how to even go about performing such a task.

Social empowerment is magical, because it bolsters your confidence in your ability to perform something you may not be officially qualified to do. This would apply to something you have never actually done or even witnessed before.

You might find yourself in this situation, if others believe you are the person who has the ability to get things done, so naturally, they are drawn to you to tackle a particular project. Even though you have no history of doing it before, their confidence in your ability supports your belief that you can actually do it, which gives you the confidence to move forward (often with satisfactory results).

Then there is wellbeing. Wellbeing represents the raw materials necessary to get through whatever task or challenge you face. You must have the physiological wherewithal to move through all the necessary steps which may require energy, a degree of strength and/or stamina. A healthy person knows they have these reserves in check, ready to go for it.

The people who are in the habit of getting things done are likely not sickly or depressed, but if they are, they have the ability to push beyond their biological or psychological limitations for the duration of the project at hand.

Armed with any degree of any of these four categories of support Mastery, Witness, Social Empowerment or Wellbeing will give you the strength or courage to be able to view a particular project or task as an opportunity, rather than a threat. You will be able to rationalize, set and achieve the goals necessary to move through the project and navigate unforeseen interruptions as challenges and deal with them appropriately. And in the event that you have tackled a project full on and have not achieved a satisfactory result, you don’t take it too hard.

To you, there is no such thing as failure. You take the knowledge from your experience and file it away for use (or avoidance) the next time the opportunity arises to demonstrate what you can do.

You got this

You can do it

Got it

I Was Wrong

If you are the kind or person who is constantly blazing a new trail throughout your life’s journey, you’re likely to experience missteps when burrowing through uncharted territory; and this is a good thing.

Onlookers, casual spectators, doubters, critics and haters are watching every step you make and are likely to point out that you’re wrong to wander off the beaten path. It’s as if in the event that you suffer any damages that you deserve it because you’re not doing it right or as though something is wrong with you. The nay sayers may try to demean you, disrespect, try to discredit you or make fun of you. Their expectation is that you turn away from your cavalier exploration and return to the herd in an effort to save yourself from embarrassment, death or worse…

The truth of the matter is the haters and hecklers are not bad people, it’s just that they are incredibly frightened you might succeed and any mistake that you might make along the way, justifies their lack of taking a more proactive approach to their life. The more they exploit your mistakes, the better they feel about their own mediocrity, for at the very least, they are somewhat safe and no one is challenging their decision to remain in the life they’ve become comfortably accustomed to.

I applaud you for being one of the few of us who choose to take the road less traveled. It’s not so much that we develop a skin thick enough not to react to attacks by folks who are uncomfortable with our personal growth and progress it’s just that we wouldn’t let someone’s words throw us off track. At least they’re not using sticks and stones.

The best way to quickly recover and get back is to acknowledge you could have done better and get back to your work. If your accusers appear to have an attitude of genuine concern or reside within your inner circle of influence a little humility goes a long way. Humbly admitting

I Screwed Up

Will help people feel more empathetic to your cause if you are simply expressing your flawed humanity. No one can begrudge you for seeing us all as basically the same, all doing the best we can with what we have, even if some of us do it differently than others. On the other hand, if they are just hateful or disrespectful, you do not have to acknowledge their accusations at all.

Listen to Feedback

Occasionally, unsuspecting spectators can offer input or observations you were unable to see while entangled in the work that lead to your misstep. So, it’s good to lend an ear to those who have been watching from afar in case they may have insight that may prove to be helpful once you regain your balance and continue to re-engage your process. And you may be surprised to find helpful insight coming from hateful attackers (though it is unnecessary to acknowledge them, if it is your policy not to respond to people who are unkind), just file away the learning. In fact, for folks like us, there is no failure, only learning.

Learning from Mistakes

The most important component is that you extract all the knowledge obtained via your process of trial and error. The results give you a unique perspective which cannot be duplicated by the armchair observers as you move forward while taking responsibility for your actions.

You can spend years in college learning about all the best characteristics and techniques filling your head with practical concepts and knowledge, but the men and women on the front lines with their feet on the street actually doing the work and creatively approaching challenges as they appear on-the-fly and dealing with real-life circumstances which won’t show up in textbooks for years, they are the real heroes.

These are the innovators, not the imitators. They are setting themselves apart from the masses. To them it is better to create something from scratch, to bring value to the community for the greater good, even to aspire to make the world a better place, not just for themselves, but for the world at large for generations to come.

I am not condemning those who have opted to follow the path of academia. I applaud them for their efforts and discipline and find they make important team members. They bring skills and perspectives to the table that expands far beyond entrepreneurial street smarts, and they may well be innovators as well (and if they hang out with me for long, will find themselves spending more and more time looking outside the box, too).

Thanks for taking the high road.

We’re all on this journey together, yet independently.

-Carpe DM

Make Space for Something New

If you’re ready for something new, then you’re ready to create the space for something new.

Something old might need to be cleaned up or discarded to make space for something new.

The act of making space creates the energy necessary to increase the attraction of new things into your space. Create a vacuum and the universe will fill it.

Good things are coming to you… they are looking for space. Honor those good things by making the space for them.

Create space in your time. Are you always on-the-run? Schedule unscheduled time; make the space for something… anything and something will fill the space for you.

Frustrated about your wardrobe? Clean out your closet and see what apparel becomes more appealing, finding its way into those empty spaces.

Create space for a better life. Set aside an hour a day for your personal growth. Fill it with whatever comes, from meditation to hardcore personal research and development. This is your time.

Do an inventory of all the old things cluttering your life and bogging you down in old vibrations. A little housecleaning, garage sale, donation to charity or trip to the dump will ready you now only for a higher vibration, but might change your whole world as the things you’ve longed for have clear landing fields.

Where you are, right now, is a result of your vibration and the lack of space for something new. To expand yourself, you need a little elbow room, enough to make the space for new growth and expansion.

If you keep nesting in your old life, surrounding yourself with your old stuff because there’s a comfort in nostalgia which fuels the fear of the unknown, this may imbue you with a false sense of security. If this is so, you are likely to remain stuck in the life you’ve always known with some degree of compromise, comfortably numb. If you really are ready to begin your new life, make space for it.

It’s up to you to take the action, for if something did appear where would it go? If you have no time in your schedule, space in your home, office, closet, shelf space… It’s not welcoming the good things that long to bless you.

You might feel guilty about making space in your life. Many people find themselves compelled to put others before themselves, second guessing their potential for personal growth or change because it feels selfish in some way, or one might feel undeserving of anything good at all.

If you desire to move to the next level, you need to start saying goodbye you your old life of morbid mediocrity and making a concerted and conscious effort to move into the space where your personal best awaits.

Carving out an hour a day, a foot of closet space, cleaning out a section of the garage, making room on your bookshelf, spending less time with someone who drains your emotional reserves, whatever it is… this is the least selfish thing you can do.

Though your inner voice might condemn you about the pressing needs of your boss, clients, partner, children and friends who desperately need to consume every waking moment adding stress and strain to your already hectic pace, but the truth is

You cannot best serve or help anyone if your cup is empty.

Making space for something new is important self-care. You need to fill your cup to have more to offer those whom you love and care about.

Be bold enough to make it a priority to acknowledge your need and worthiness, while suspending disbelief long enough to dream a new dream and make space for your abundant metamorphosis.

If you do nothing, the weeds will overtake your garden, choking out any hope of new life. While you look at a distance, the patch of weeds looks green and lush enough to be pleasant. A closer look will lead way to disappointment as you consider the loss of potential fruit that could have occupied that very space, especially if you have desire or hunger for something besides the weeds.

A little weeding out the things that are restricting your new growth goes a long way, whether they are in your literal or metaphorical garden, which could be your schedule, home, office or may even include people in your circle of influence.

People in your life who are demanding your attention may be counter-productive to you accomplishing your goals or having the space for someone more supportive or beneficial to come into your life.

Now is the time to allow the opportunity for new growth, make space for it and all the good things that are waiting for you will fill the space you have created.

What Turns You On?

There is a wave moving across this planet awakening people to embrace their unique purpose and message and for the people who are bold enough and empowered to passionately exercise their gifts, talents and express their message, they are not only happier for following through on their purpose but often find they are rewarded financially, if given the opportunity.

How would you like to do that you love and get paid handsomely for doing it? This is one of the best benefits of living your life on purpose.

You can look for clues to uncover your purpose in life. You can discover your unique message and starting singing your song, just by taking a look at your life. For instance,

What’s that thing you love to do? That thing when time just seems to disappear when you’re immersed in a particular activity?

What’s the thing that you do – that comes easily for you – and not so much for others (and they’re likely to mention it to you or ask, “How do you do that?”

When someone complimented you on something you said or did, saying, “That was amazing!” what was it?

What is the thing that people keep coming to you for? What kind of advice, tip or type of encouragement are folks attracted to you for?

If your friends confide in you, is there a general topic that they seek you out and find comfort in your support?

What kinds of books, magazines, television shows or movies are you attracted to?

What talents and special abilities did you possess as a child?

What would you like to be remembered for, long after you are gone?

What activities would you engage in, if the doctor told you that you only had one week to live, and finances were not a concern?

The answers to these questions should give you an idea of what the universe is calling you to accomplish with your life.

Start writing, journaling; create a collection of words, writing down your ideas a feelings about what turns you on. Your words do not need to be masterful. You just need to start documenting your feelings about these things. As you do, you find a clarity developing.

Also consider asking yourself what extreme challenges have you endured and overcome (or are in the process of overcoming)?

You may be the only person whom others who are facing the same challenges can relate to. How can you reach out to help others in this area?

Start writing… keep writing… Writing not working so well? No problem. Get a recorder and start recording your words. Recordings can be transcribed (there are even programs and apps that you can speak into and they will type out your words for you).

Then just be open to the idea of allowing people who are attracted to you regarding your message to pay you for embracing your calling.

You can become a coach or consultant and start talking to people about your message or mission and charge by the hour. You can start a support group and charge a fee at the door.

You can write, publish and sell a book, ebook, emagazine, newsletter, membership site or fraternal organization.

You don’t need to work out all the details… Just doing the work and being open will attract opportunities and the right people to help you make it so, as you move forward in faith.

Don’t Should on Yourself

I work with people who come in covered head to toe in should. How can anyone have any quality of life when they’re covered in should?

I should do this, I should do that… There’s should over here, should over there. How can you get anything done when you’re so full of should?

don t should on yourself no should — Don’t Should On Yourself

Nothing good ever came from should.

Take a good look at your should, what do you see? A big, ol’ pile of should that is at the very least unsettling to examine if not totally disgusting.

Should is rooted in negative, guilt-ridden angst and needs to be eliminated from your life; otherwise it festers and piles up inside of you making you feel worse about yourself, doubt your ability to be productive, lose faith in yourself and can lead to self-loathing.

Should Elimination Cleanse

It’s time to take a big should elimination cleanse.

What’s on your Should List?

Get out a sheet of paper and write down all the things that you tell yourself that you should do on your should list. I should lose weight. I should write Aunt Emma. I should get a better insurance company. I should clean out the garage. I should get a better job. I should start working out. I should spend more time with my kids. Also include those things you feel you shouldn’t do, like I shouldn’t spend so much time with technology, I shouldn’t watch bad news, I shouldn’t drink alone, I shouldn’t show up late, I shouldn’t scream at the kids, I shouldn’t put others needs before my own, and the list goes on and on…

Look at the size of your should list. It’s overwhelming when you realize that you’re so full of should. We’re getting rid of your should list, although you get a chance to cull some of the things from the list and move them to another list.

To clean up your shoulds, get another sheet of paper, this is a list of goals. If you feel compelled to keep some of the shoulds, you may convert them to a goal only if you are willing to take action on it.

That’s the difference between a big pile of should that bogs you down and drains your enthusiasm and goals that inspire you to take action. Shoulds are the things that you don’t do and goals are the things that you do do. Shoulds feel bad because how long have they haunted you? They bombard you and overwhelm you with guilt and make you feel unworthy, that you’re not good enough or like a loser. If something’s been on your should list for more than a year: Really? That’s a lot of unnecessary self-abuse. But, if you’re willing to transfer it to your goal list, you’re only allowed to if you’re committed to taking an action on it within the next seven days. Otherwise, it’s gotta go.

You can revisit the eliminated should at a later date. If it is something you really would like to accomplish at some point, you can re-evaluate it when it’s more likely that you will take action on it and make a goal of it. In the meantime, there’s no more should about it.

Burn your should list. You’re done with that should. No should.

If you’ve transferred it to your goal list and not taken action on it in the seven days, take that should and burn it. Burn that should.

No more should.

You’re not taking any should any more. You’re shouldless.

And that’s just you shoulding on yourself. How often do you should on others?

You know what it’s like to be shoulded on. You don’t like to be should on, so stop shoulding on others.

And if people are shoulding on you, then put them on notice. They are not allowed to should on you again. You’re not taking any more should; not from you, not from anyone.

Enjoy living your new should-free life.

Love Is What Is Love

Sometimes in life, your desires for love fall flat compared to your expectations.

There are four basic types of love, such as

One World Love

There is an innate part of us that expects that all peoples can mutually respect, love each other unconditionally and live in harmony. We all want to love and be loved without division, no matter what. Yet, we are disappointed to find division prevails so predominantly that we are more often than not at odds with each other and peoples find themselves warring against each other.

Love Between Friends

You have grown up with someone or met someone with common interests and something in you reaches out to them connecting with them in an effort to appreciate them, feel an affinity, even love them for who they are, what they stand for and you feel compelled to protect the relationship between you. You hope that this friendship-type-of-love will last forever. It doesn’t take long to find out that people are often not who they appeared to be, as we project ourselves onto them in an effort to establish such a love, nonetheless, some deep friendship connections do withstand the test of time.

Love of Family

When a mother gives birth to a child there is a deep connection a love-bond that is possibly closer than any other bond between two people. This love connection can spread throughout a family with the possibility of establishing a love relationship amongst all family members. Some love among friends can grow to familial proportions. While some families are united in love, some family and friends are united by bonds fueled by other adhesives.

Even though we want to love our parents and want to be loved by them, often the love we desire is not the love we receive, so we are inclined to accept whatever love we can receive from parents and/or family members if we are able to receive any at all.

Romantic Love

Romantic love is the most potentially powerful love between two people. So powerful in fact that the participant (or participants) in this type of love are willing to risk with in the belief that the potential for living the highest quality of life is more meaningful and enjoyable when shared by two of the most intimate of partners. This love includes a deeply emotional and strong sexual attraction, the feelings that fuel this type of love often do not last long but the relationship can survive out of a sense of duty or necessity.

Why is it that most all the love we desire seems to elude us?

Try this:

Exude the love you desire to receive regardless of the circumstance or lack of reciprocity.

If you feel separate or different from the other people in the world, send love to the world, love all other people, even if they do not appreciate or love you. Love your neighbors and friends likewise, even if they mistreat you. Love your family members as if they loved you more than anything, whether or not you feel there is any evidence of their affection or support for you.

The love you seek would be a combination of all these types of love and you may be surprised to discover you will not find it outside yourself until you’ve found this degree of love within. Only then can you expect to attract the kind of person who also has the same capacity of love.

So ask yourself, “What would it look like if I loved all the people of the world, my neighbors, friends, family, and potential mate completely?”

Love like it’s the only thing that matters…

because it is.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Setting Boundaries

Are you ready to move your life to the next level?

It’s necessary for you to clearly define your work area. It’s the same thing as having an office at your workplace so that you can have the ability to close the door and concentrate on the important things that need tending to in an effort to maximize your effectiveness.

The same goes for your life. You need to create for yourself a safe area to do the work of planning, preparing, growing and expanding so that you can move to the next level. To accomplish this, you must create healthy boundaries.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Before you can go about setting boundaries to hold the sacred space for you to conduct your personal work, you might consider taking some time to go inside and discover within yourself where your boundaries ought to be located.

You know when someone in your circle of influence says or does something that doesn’t make you feel good. In fact, it may make you feel downright bad. Easy: draw a line in the sand right there. Write it down and keep going, until you have demarcated your personal safe zone.

But wait, there’s more…

Who are the people in your life who drain your personal reserves, toxic people who destroy your sense of wellbeing, who disrespect, hurt or abuse you? See them clearly for who they are, and begin to consider protecting your sacred space from these emotional (and/or physical) intruders.

Setting Boundaries

Find ways to either control the space between you and them or protect your personal space from their negative influence. Inform people what is acceptable and what is not acceptable as you define and protect your sacred space with love and respect.

This was an expensive step for me in my practice as I work with a lot of type A personalities who regularly disrespected me – not in an effort to berate me directly, but as a way to fully express themselves while we conducted deep work – while is it was effective, it didn’t make me feel good in those moments.

I had to establish a boundary and be willing to back it up. The day I drew the line in the sand, I called each person who would have crossed the line in the past, had I established it. I clearly communicated to them about my decision to set this clear boundary and enforce it. Enforcing it would mean severing our professional relationship. I had to come to the point where I valued myself enough, that I would no longer let people disrespect me, no matter how much they were willing to pay me to let them do it.

Some of the clients were offended and severed the relationship at the conclusion of the call. A few stayed but crossed the line and I promptly cut them off, and they departed disgruntled, while others continued to work with me, keeping their emotions in check when directed at me.

This helped me to create an exciting safe place for me to work, filled with love and mutual respect, empowering my clients and I to flourish within the space that we do our best work together.

Setting Boundaries

Once you establish a boundary, you must go about the work of setting boundaries by clearly defining them with the potential offenders, as they should be allowed the courtesy of honoring your boundary out of respect to you.

In terms of the more violent offenders, it may be counterproductive to approach them face to face. You need not face extraordinary drama or abuse when setting boundaries. In this case, it may be in your best interest to just create distance – a safe space – between you and the more difficult people in your life. You will be better off without them.

Enforcing Boundaries

Unfortunately, setting boundaries without enforcing them is folly. Enforcing the boundaries you have set can be the most difficult part of the boundary process. It may include saying goodbye to people you care for, love, admire, respect (or in my case, pay you good money). Nevertheless, if you’re setting boundaries, you must enforce them.

You will discover, as you define and protect your space, you will attract more centered, supportive and loving people to fill the vacancies left by those who moved away from your circle of influence and thrive as you continue to pursue the sacred work of you and achieving your highest and best.

Success Characteristics

You can determine whether someone has the innate characteristics of a person who is likely to succeed if you know where to look for clues revealing their potential for success.

Amidst the landscape of prolific achievers are wolves in sheep’s clothing who understand these attributes and find ways to appear as though they possess these qualities in an effort to manipulate or defraud their unsuspecting prey.

While predators attempt to play the part to take from others to achieve their goals, there are also the authentic and integrous successful people who always seek win/win scenarios and to do no harm in the process.

You will find clues to one’s true character by observing the following six areas of one’s life:

Intimate

Maintaining a level of intimacy that stands the test of time is an excellent characteristic that begins at birth and continues throughout life. Intimacy in relationships are not restricted to romantic relationships, though one’s romantic relationship does have strong indicators.

Being able to maintain intimate relationships indicates the ability to trust and be trusted, to make commitments, be at least somewhat dependable and willing to compromise in a give-and-take relationship.

Good

It’s more than good things happen to good people. Successful individuals have a strong moral compass and are empathetic. They can imagine what it must be like to walk a mile another man’s shoes.

A good person who can enjoy a high degree of success possesses a full range of emotions and has the ability to control them, so as not to let them interfere with the greater good of his or her project or quality of life.

Friends

While the most successful people may not have a lot of inner circle friendships, they do maintain friendships that stand the test of time. This indicates the ability to relate to others with a certain degree of social adeptness while indicating degrees of tolerance and endurance.

A lack of close-knit friendships are likely to indicate excessively self-centeredness, inability to play well with others and may be insensitive or rude.

Brilliance

While they might not be the smartest person in the room, they command an intellectual awareness and exude a certain confidence in their ability to think on their feet, problem-solve, access and process data efficiently.

They are good sports, have a propensity to look outside the box for solutions, possess the ability to convert their thoughts into actions and have a good sense of humor.

Initiative

They have an inner compulsion to do things. They have the habit of setting and achieving goals for themselves, supporting their ability to push through barriers and achieve success.

Their drive is not powered by sense of duty or in lock-step militaristic fashion. Instead look for the person who enthusiastically embraces challenges and pursues life with passion and independence. One who is likely to succeed regardless of nay sayers.

Happy

The person who is prone to being successful exudes a joyful countenance. They find happiness within and find it in meaningful relationships and simple things not materialistic keeping up with the Joneses.

They find pleasure in examining obstacles and find peace in resolution of challenging circumstances. The most successful individuals may be as fearful of engaging difficult situations but are willing to take the risk to enjoy the fruits of expansion and personal growth.

August Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of August, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

Perception Interpretation	How to Build Self Esteem	Top 5 Social Skills for Success
How Do You Feel About Yourself?	Free Things to Do	What Type of Money Person Are You?
What Do You Think?	Enjoy Life Feeling Good People	Fear of Loss
Plug In Turn On	Reinvention Masters	Expectation Imposition
ROFL Return On Failure Learning	Be Your Own Boss	Mediocre Personal Best
How to Write a Book about My Life	Find Friends	My Tiny Ad Obsession
Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover	Sabbatical Take a Break	Gossip Dirty Laundry
Soul Mate Draw	Only Visiting This Planet	Assemble Your Dream Team
The Best Things in Life are Worth Waiting for	The Best Story Ever	You Are Not Your Job
Attitude Adjustment and Vibration	New Thought Ideas and Inventions	Tolerate Much?
Demon Hunters and Ghostbusters

Perception Interpretation

How many times have you found yourself offended by the words and deeds of another person that may have been unwarranted? Even if you knew your feelings were likely unjust, still you found yourself filled with angst and fury and lashed out or made a rash decision based on the emotional whirlpool pulling you down to your lowest desperate state.

So you strike out, do or say something in your defense because in this emotional chaos, you can think of nothing more than self preservation at all costs.

You rationalize your thoughts and actions based on the truth you are able to extract from the all the data that you have access to. Using your perception you convert the results of your research and statistics to come to a cognitive conclusion justifying the torrential chaos you felt in that moment based on your interpretation.

This happens every day, and how can you blame anyone for perceiving everyday occurrences via their individual perception? You can’t. Why? Because we can only determine that is really truth from within. Only we know what is true for us based on our own interpretation of the information available to us at the time.

In example, take a look at Jasmine and Darnell. They are in their early thirties, recently involved in a romantic courtship and things are going so very well. They are professing their love for each other and even talking about spending the rest of their lives together.

On their six month anniversary, Darnell makes reservations for a quaint bistro, picks up a card and a teddy bear with a heart on its tummy and presents them to Jasmine when he comes calling to pick her up for their scheduled date.

Jasmine greets him at the door enthusiastically. Darnell holds out the bear and card to Jasmine, as her countenance immediately shifts to contempt and anger. She throws the bear into the street, rips the card into pieces and throws the pieces at Darnell’s face and kicks him off the porch while shouting disrespectful obscenities and slams the door as Darnell falls to the ground.

After driving away and pulling over to the side of the road, Darnell texts Jasmine, which does not go through, then tries to call to discover his number’s already been blocked.

Looking for emotional support, the couple reaches out to their friends in an effort to cope with the ensuing chaos. Jasmine tells her friends that Darnell is a manipulative predator, nothing short of a rapist, while Darnell spins tales of Jasmine’s severe mental disorders. Friends rally around the couple. Damages follow, some that are irreparable.

Knowing the details of Jasmine’s struggle with her past doesn’t justify her outburst and reaction to the otherwise innocuous display of affection. Issues she’s been battling within since childhood predicted her response with high-precision accuracy. Likewise, Darnell’s accusations of Jasmine’s mental instability were based on triggers from his past.

From their perspective they are both telling stories based on the truth they believe, as real to them as gravity, yet things aren’t always what they seem and neither of them have as much information as I have (purposely filtered) additionally I am certain there is much more information yet to be uncovered.

Jasmine would fare much better in the same circumstance today, because she has worked though many of the unresolved issues of her past and while she still tends to be quite impulsive, is training herself to pause (and count to three to herself) before responding, reacting or pressing “send” when she is feeling overwhelmed. This brief hesitation gives her just enough space to consider possibilities, and ramifications and helps her to manage her truth and consequences.

Don’t judge someone based on surface information because you may have no idea what lies beneath the surface. We all have lives consisting of a plethora of past experiences, beliefs, and misinterpretations the sum of which has gotten us this far. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. This is why we are cautioned to never judge a book by its cover.

If we are to have any faith in our ability to successfully share this planet with other inhabitants, we must find ways to stop dividing us one against the other, discover how to get along with each other and accept that we are all parts of the same soup, even though we all are so very different.

No one is blaming you or me for our perception or interpretation, because in heat of the moment it’s all we have to determine what is truth as it influences how i feel about you, how you feel about me and how we feel about ourselves.

In fact in all things perception is reality and subject to change pending accumulation of additional data.

Pausing in an effort to avoid making a rash decision or burning a bridge beyond repair like Jasmine does now, might be sound advice for all of us.

All you can do is to try not to judge or react too promptly, accept others for who they are and where they are at in their life’s journey and discover how to make yourself happy as you live a better life. A little tolerance goes a long way.

For me, I try to imagine what it must be like to the person who is reacting, put myself in their shoes and look for the love. While I haven’t perfected this method because I too, can react in self defense in the heat of the moment… but as immediately as possible look with empathy for love in the wings.

We’re all in process, for if we weren’t, we would not be. Let’s make the best of it.