Difference Between Therapy and Friendship

There is a difference between therapy and friendship. Whether you are a coach, consultant, counselor, or member of the clergy, there is (or should be) a clear line between the therapeutic relationship and that of being a friend.

If you’ve been professionally trained in therapy and are licensed by the State or some other governing agency, more likely than not you are held accountable to uphold a code of ethics which assumes certain boundaries be maintained throughout the therapeutic relationship.

Then there are unregulated forms of therapy, such as peer counseling, life-coaching, religious counseling, and spiritual consultation, among others. For these therapeutic relationships, the lines of boundaries can blur, be crossed, or violated.

Some may say in religious therapeutic relationships that due to the separation of church and state, that no professional boundaries be maintained or enforced, and we see where that has gotten us. All you have to do is to look for the news stories of clerics in compromising positions for not maintaining boundaries to make you think twice.

The ACA code of ethics is an accepted guideline which sets forth a prescribed set of boundaries to protect both the therapist and the client. It helps to maintain a positive therapeutic environment for effective counsel and reduce the risk of compromise.

Of course, the first thought that comes to mind it that of sexual conduct. The agreed standard that intimacy or any sexual conduct in nature not be engaged in at any time during the therapeutic environment, nor for a period of five years following the completion of a therapeutic relationship.

There are other boundaries which help maintain a professional relationship between therapist and client, like not going to the movies, out to lunch, exchanging gifts, attending birthday parties, or other social events.

Yet, as in all things, these boundaries which should be enforced by all people helping other people, whether regulated or not, are amidst a spectrum, left to the interpretation of the therapist or the company they keep.

On one end of the spectrum your therapist might meet with you in an office with no amenities, there is no physical contact between counselor and client, not even a handshake. If you meet your counselor in the aisle in a supermarket, you will find him or her unapproachable. Even if you’re amidst a serious emotional outpouring, when your time is up, the session is over. If you can’t pay, the fee is non-negotiable, and there is no out of office or after-hours support.

On the other end of the spectrum, your counselor may offer you tea, may begin your session with a handshake and conclude with a cursory hug. If you meet this counselor in public, he or she may smile, stop, and engage in conversation with you for a while. You may run over your assigned time limit if reasonable or necessary, and there may be some flexibility in making payments and/or additional connection methods or support outside office hours.

There is no right or wrong way to do this as different modalities and schools of therapeutic thought interpret these boundaries differently. There is no judgment here, but the primary goal is to unequivocally protect and support the client.

Transference is a normal occurrence within the therapeutic relationship and it’s up to you to find the boundaries which work best for you, preserving this sacred, safe space.

If you are sitting in the seat of the coach, consultant, or counselor it is up to you to make clear your boundaries at the beginning of the therapeutic relationship and remind your client periodically when it appears, he or she might be approaching a boundary.

If you are the patient, it is on you to adhere to these boundaries and be certain to tell your counselor if you have boundaries of your own which need to be respected. If you feel like any boundary is unreasonable, talk it through with your counselor.

Talk to your counselor about your feelings and don’t keep them bottled up lest they explode. Negotiate your therapeutic relationship and make it work for both of you, or it may be time for a change.

WHY = STOP + Reverse

You’re on your way, making your own way on your path in life amidst your spiritual journey, you’re making good progress, then you encounter a challenge or obstacle, and ask, “Why?”

Exercise caution when asking why. Be aware that asking why, and trying to figure out the why of a thing can stop all forward motion and is likely to promote a journey backwards into the past.

“Why,” is the detour on your journey which will cost you your inertia as all forward momentum is halted.

Asking “why” is a powerful method of interrupting your hurling yourself in the wrong direction, and is appropriate when you’ve taken a detour and may be headed in the wrong direction.

When someone asks you why you are doing a certain thing or have chosen a particular path on your journey it can be beneficial to step out of the flow for long enough to examine your whereabouts and check in with yourself to find out if you are in alignment with your purpose, message, passion, and mission.

When you are moving forward in with your personal power fully engaged, are maximizing the inertia of being in the flow of your calling and maximizing your efforts, you are bound to encounter the occasional bump in the road or challenge.

You can quickly outmaneuver any obstacle by trusting it is for your highest good, maybe swerve a little and masterfully get around it or you can ask “why” = stop. Reverse your direction and lose valuable time in making incredible progress.

As you and I work with others it is important to wield the power of “why” as masterfully as possible.

Sometimes asking why is necessary to help someone stop and take time to review and evaluate where they are in their life from another perspective, just to check-in and see if they are on track.

I know in my life, if I catch myself getting wrapped up in trying to figure out the “why” of a challenge, as quickly as possible, I reacquaint myself with my “All things work together for good,” mantra and trust that regardless of the “why” this is for my highest good and something far better is waiting for me on the other side of this.

In a therapeutic setting, sometimes a life struggle will justify the need to ask why and taking the time to dig deep down in the details of one’s past and healing old, festering emotional wounds is necessary to enable someone to move forward fully and healthfully empowered. This is the deep inner work.

Other times, its best just to keep moving forward.

If you are in the love vibration and are making strides in achieving your highest and best, society (including your best friends and family) will try to thwart your forward progress by stopping you and asking you why you are doing a certain thing.

If your journey is not running parallel to theirs, there’s a good chance, no matter how hard you try to explain yourself, they will not be able to hear or understand you because they cannot understand the language or simply the idea of where you are and what you are doing is so divergent that they have no frame of reference.

You don’t owe anyone else an explanation. Do the best you can, staying true to you and your divine calling.

This is your journey. Make the best of it.

If you find yourself off-course, no problem. Check in with yourself, recalculate and chart a revised course. You’ve got this.

Don’t let yourself or anyone else keep you from achieving your highest and best.

Are You in Love?

Are you in love? Not the giddy schoolgirl kind of love, but the love vibration. You know the love frequency when you’re in it because you feel good, great, amazingly warm, comfortable and impervious to anything that is not love.

How do you know if you’re not in love?

When you’re not in the love vibration, you know it because you don’t feel good.

Since most of the world is not in the frequency of love, it will try to draw you down to its vibration, in a sense, calling you home to the everyday drama and chaos of, “normal.” The world will use every method available to lower your frequency.

What can you do?

When you are not feeling good, when your love vibration has been altered by some force, whether it be from within (like your own thoughts) or from external sources (like someone coaxing you or media you’ve been exposed to), ask yourself,

“How can I apply love to this?”

Love is the most powerful force in the universe. When applied to anything, the miraculous begins to be released and love uncreates everything that seems to be contrary and only love remains.

You, as the love practitioner, are learning how to apply love to every situation and circumstance that might cause your love frequency to falter, for the more you are able to maintain the higher vibration of love’s frequency, the more you are making love your default setting, like the set-point on your thermostat.

As you practice the love application process, you start to understand that everything that is not love isn’t real. What “normal” people think is real is nothing, but an illusion built and constructed in the prison of their own minds. Of course, you can relate to their point of view because you were also programmed to believe in such things.

Let’s say you are in a situation which is challenging your love vibration, like standing in line at the check out counter at the supermarket. You strategically picked the shortest line. You’re third in line to check out, and the person who is currently being waited on pulls out an invalid gift card.

Now there are six people lined up behind you and you can hear their murmuring.

The murmuring of others is the normal vibration of the world, and you feel the urge to feel upset. You can feel the indicator on your emotional setting begin to dip and you ask yourself,

“How can I apply love to this?”

You notice the woman in the front of the line has three kids with her. The cashier calls for the manager, and you notice the kids are pretty much aware of the fact that the woman they are with (it might not be their maternal parent) is holding up the line. You say something, like,

“Oh, my gosh! You guys are so adorable. How’d you get to be so cute?” They smile, and the woman breaks contact with the cashier long enough to look at you. You smile. She smiles back. You say something, like,

“How did you end up with such a handsome group of young people?”

The two of you exchange pleasantries, you might even comment on how you like her bracelet or some other detail that others overlook, but you mention how charming it is. Then the manager shows up and breaks the news to the woman about her card being no good.

She shuffles through her purse to find an alternative form of payment, and you empathize with her about how you hate it when that happens. She’s embarrassed but you’ve expressed compassion, which helps her feel less uncomfortable in this awkward situation.

The person between you and the woman has left to go find another line to wait in, as have several of the people behind you.

Before you know it, you are next in line, and you have made someone’s day a little better. Not just the woman, but the cashier and the manager appreciate your application of love to this awkward circumstance.

You could have easily joined in the murmuring of your contemporaries standing in line, but you didn’t. You found a way to apply love to the situation, your love frequency was supported, you did not falter, and in that moment, you made the world a better place.

Admittedly, this is a minor incident to practice applying love, but the same applies to circumstances of enormous conflict, or anything that might disrupt your love vibration.

Before reacting in your flesh and lowering your vibration, finding the wherewithal to interrupt any potentially negative pattern with, “How can I apply love to this?” can make all the difference in the world.

This is not to deny the gravity of any situation which might have to be dealt with regarding boundaries, injustice, or any other real conflict. The key for you as the love practitioner is to break the negative state and apply love to the circumstance as soon as possible.

Everything that is not love dissolves or fades away.

Then, you can deal with the issues that remain empowered by love.

In some cases, you will find that even the significant issues which were valid, even potentially violent, no longer remain, and maybe you don’t even need to deal with anything as there is peace and harmony as you are enjoying life being in the now.

How to Help Sending Love to the World

How to help Sending Love to the World December 25 who what when where why
Who

Sending Love to the World is an even that is open to all peoples without discrimination or judgment. Anyone is eligible to participate and everyone is encouraged to not only participate but to share with and invite friends who might also like to share in sending love to the world.

What

Sending Love to the World is an even where the energies of all people participating are focused at a particular time and place for a period of time to send a powerful love vibrationally charged force to effect the world in a positive way in an effort to make the world a better place.

When

The current event is scheduled from

Midnight November 10th to Midnight January 1st.

Participants are to engage in sending love to the world by prayer, meditation, focusing their attention (or any other method that they are versed in or comfortable with) on sending love to the world.

Where

This is non-physical-location participation. You can participate at any time, at any place that is convenient for you. All love energies will be combined to benefit those less fortunate and the world at large for the greater good.

Why

Starting November 11th through the 1st of January, and peaking out on December 25th, there is traditionally a huge spike in crime, hospitalization, depression, suicide, and death among all age groups and across all social demographics.

We believe that by combining our efforts in sending love to the world at this fragile moment in time, that we can help to affect those suffering to feel love and have hope for a better life.

How

Commit to donating at least 3 minutes of your day to purposely and mindfully with all your heart’s ability in sending love to the world. (Many will be led to much longer periods, but all we are asking for is a 3-minute minimum commitment.)

Use any method that is comfortable for you.

There will be a meditation video stream on the homepage of sendinglovetotheworld.com to use as a guided meditation for those who would like to join in that manner.

Feel free to share your comments below for others of ways that they can focus their love and send it to others.

Thank you

It is with the deepest gratitude that we appreciate you sacrificing your time to reach out and help others with your love-focused intention.

May you be blessed as you bless others.

sendinglovetotheworld.com/send-love-2014/how-to-help-sending-love-to-the-world

 

Sending Love to the World Starts November 11 2018

The holiday season is a glorious time of love, laughter, giving, sharing, support and represents a time to celebrate family, friends and loved ones in all their many forms.

While many people are surrounded by others with whom they will celebrate this time of love and everything that is precious, others may be spending the holidays alone due to changes in life circumstance or other reasons.

For instance, on November 11th, we honor all those who have served our country in military service. On Veterans Day, the very day we honor those who have served, veterans are taking their own lives, not just on Veterans Day, but every day of the year.

During the year people commit suicide every day, 18% of these suicides are veterans who have served in various branches of the United States military. There is a significant increase in suicides during the holiday season beginning on November 11th through January 1st.

The concept of Sending Love to the World 2018 is not focused on being an anti-suicide campaign. The increase in suicides is only a signal and a sign indicating a greater underlying problem of the deterioration of mental health and love, during a time when most of us are feeling full of love. It is such a dichotomy, for you to have your heart so filled with love at this time of year, yet your neighbor is so severely lacking love that he or she might be considering suicide.

Many people whose hearts are filled to the brim and overflowing with love during the holiday season may not have an avenue to set their love free, to share it with another and bask in its glow.

To-all-the-love-filled-hearts-all-alone-this-holiday-season-i-love-you

Love-filled hearts without a venue to share this love can lead to a degeneration of the love vibration; alternatively, the sharing of one’s love causes the love vibration to increase exponentially.

Click here for Sending Love to the World guided meditation video stream
Sending Love to the World 2018 is an excellent opportunity for anyone to share their love vibration with the world. Imagine many people pouring out love for our planet and its inhabitants during a time when there exist extremes; on the one hand, peace, love, and happiness while on the other hand or end of the spectrum sadness, depression and loneliness.

The economic decline, post-traumatic stress, feeling hopeless, helpless, and a vast variety of issues lead to the rise of poverty, depression, domestic violence, theft and other crime all steadily increasing since November 11th.

The most staggering data shows that the loss of life also spikes during the holiday season especially on December 25th and again on January 1st.

The purpose of Sending Love to the World 2018 is two-fold.

To offer those heart-filled individuals – especially those who would otherwise be alone and not have an ability to share and give their love at any time from November 11th through January 1st – and anyone else who would like to join the outpouring of love to have an opportunity to support and bathe the world in unconditional love.

And to send this love out to heal others who are struggling during these tough times, our country and the world at large.

Bound together with like-minded purpose, we can help to make the world a better place.

Join us, here – on this website – for a streaming guided meditation to heal and love those in need… Together we will be sending love to the world… that by all means, we might save some.

Bookmark this site.

Share it with heart-filled friends.

The meditation stream will be running from November 11th through January 1st. Feel free to join at any time and spend as long as you desire to love.

Love, love, love, and love to you.

For more information, see: sendinglovetotheworld.com

God’s Spark in You

Deep inside you, there is a burning ember which is God’s spark in you. Without God’s spark in you, you would no longer be living flesh. You would cease to be if God’s ember were to go out completely.

Having God’s spark in you is what makes you human. You are created with this internal burning ember which is the key to enjoying all this life has for you and living your life to its fullest.

You were born with all this power and potential if only you were allowed by family, peers, and society to fully fan the flames of your God spark and release it in all its glory.

Once you begin to awaken to see there is much more to this life than you could have possibly imagined, you become aware of God’s spark in you. Even if the idea of your having a “God spark” is uncomfortable because you are not cozy with the word, idea, or concept of “God,” it is still there. Without it, your lifeless body would collapse onto the floor.

This God spark is your connection to the infinite source of all love and life allowing you instant access all knowledge (known and unknown) unrestrained by time and space as we (our living bodies and awareness) are.

There is a growing body of scientific evidence which supports the idea of the God spark, which you should investigate on your own if you so desire.

Hidden within your heart is the God spark which enables you to access infinite love and wisdom. It may be difficult for you to fathom or believe it, but nonetheless, it is there. Even if ever so tiny, it continues to burn, if you are alive.

In what I have referred to for many years as The Greatest Conspiracy, “society” controlled by the “powers that be,” is doing everything possible to prevent your fanning the flames of the God spark within you.

You probably think you are just a human being trying to make the best of this life until you die and nothing more. Even so, there is a part of you who yearns for something more. This is the still small voice of God’s spark in you, yearning for release. If you’re like most of us, you disregard your desires for a far better life as childish fantasy, brush away the idea, and settle back into the slavery of humanity.

You have an inner knowingness that your life was meant for something more than the life you’ve been living. You know just like everyone else, yet you are also aware of things that come easier for you than other people, and you notice this about others. It’s as if we all have come to this planet with innate skills and abilities which come naturally to us and make each of us unique.

Often, if you listen to the greatest minds of our time, they have at various times referred to a source from without themselves where they received the most original thought(s) which led them to fantastic ideas, discoveries, creations, and inventions.

The God spark has been attributed as the source of authentic creativity, drawing on information which is not available to the masses.

Deep inside you resides your unique purpose, message, passion, and mission (PMPM) waiting to be embodied by you and released to the world, while you are blessed with the desired of your heart. The reward for your courageously answering the call.

While you may not realize it, the God spark is growing amidst all humanity as we enter a new evolutionary age of the human being.

Not only is the God spark growing, but you may notice a growing population of terrestrial angels who also possess the angelic spark besides.

The world is changing, and so are you.

Terrestrial Angels Are You One?

There are many types of angels. Commonly recognized are angels in heaven (celestial angels), fallen angels who may include demons or spirit beings of malicious nature, and then (among others) there are the terrestrial angels. Are you one?

Terrestrial angels are natural born human beings who are of both human and angelic decent. These hybrid beings are coming into our world at an ever-increasing rate. They are assisting in the expansion and evolution of us into the next generation of humans who will populate our world in the future.

In this most exciting of all times of human existence, this evolutionary transformation will take place as new generations are born who are more evolved, or the metamorphosis from Human 2.0 to Human 3.0 can take place amidst any human’s lifetime.

The growing influence of terrestrial angels is more prevalent these days and we can see the changes taking place before our very eyes as we notice the vast difference between the primitive contemporary humans who dominate our world’s population, and the emerging more advanced, heart-centered individuals who naturally embrace a higher consciousness.

You can easily tell the difference between the less evolved human and a human who possesses angelic DNA (so to speak). They are fully human but are fairly awkward at trying to fit in as society exerts all its efforts to force them to conform to Human 2.0 standards.

All the efforts of our planet’s social engineers are focused on the dumbing down of naturally-born Human 3.0’s and no expense is spared in the prevention of this evolutionary process. Nonetheless, terrestrial angels, the evolution and expansion of the human race continues.

The evolution of the human race cannot be stopped by human beings.

Terrestrial Angels
Are You One?

Terrestrial angles and those who share their genetic expanded consciousness and spiritual nature are coming into the world at a more rapid rate and we are seeing them appear as some of them are labeled as Indigo or Crystal children. They are categorically and naturally less interested in all the social programming and drama associated with it and are resistant to being controlled by intimidation and fear tactics, unlike Human 2.0.

You can easily recognize them, not only by their inability to fit in, but their natural tendency to be attracted to more spiritual ideals. They are often attracted to the arts and have natural abilities to express themselves in the arts, which is driven by the expanded love-capacity of their hearts.

Their more highly-evolved capacity for love and heart-centered intuition helps to defend themselves against being manipulated or controlled by social engineers. This expanded awareness allows them to see the inconsistencies in what others have come to accept and believe as, “The way it is.” They have an inner knowingness that what has been presented to them is not the way it is, nor is it the “way it’s supposed to be.”

They cannot be easily fooled and are likely to voice their noticing that things are not as they appear.

You will feel like you’re from another planet, because… well, you really are. Even so, you are not an alien. You are more human with a greater degree of the divine in you genetic and spiritual makeup. You are more connected with your higher self.

If you have terrestrial angelic blood running in your veins, you have an aversion to any act of violence. Due to feeling as though you just don’t fit in, even though you’re trying, you find yourself apologizing a lot to those around you.

You are likely to trust most every other human you encounter, and you will be very surprised to discover that any human could be untrustworthy, as you learn to make your own way through the maze of this earthly life.

Your increased capacity for love may have you finding yourself in awkward romantic relationships due to your ability to accept others and love unconditionally.

You are not perfect. That’s for sure. But you’re making progress as you try to maintain balance between your humanity and your divine nature. It is awkward, to say the least, but you have a conscious confidence that you know you can do this, and that your existence is necessary (even in the smallest way) for the further evolution of those who inhabit this planet.

You are highly sensitive, probably don’t like being in crowds or be the focus of attention but will often find ways to rise to the occasion if for the betterment of others.

Those who are terrestrial angels or their descendants who carry the evolutionary structure are probably heavier in weight than those who are lesser-evolved and highly influenced by society’s dictating of what should a beautiful (skinny) body should look like.

You will find them gravitating toward occupations which are nurturing and supportive in nature, such as nursing, teachers, coaches, counselors, consultants, and are often interested in natural health alternatives and healing practices. They are compelled to offer help to  others who are struggling with life’s issues.

They want to encourage others to embrace the best things in life, find peace and joy, let go of life’s entrapments and chains of the past, and live a better life in more freedom and love.

Onthe other hand, terrestrial angels often have a dark, difficult, or traumatic past, which causes them anxiety that needs to be tended to, so they do not suffer needlessly from past wounds. Left to themselves, these wounds could fester and spread disease throughout their body, causing them to degenerate, devolve into Human 2.0, or die prematurely.

To all the terrestrial angels and their descendants:

You are love
You are loved
You are welcome here

And we are grateful for your participation in the evolution of our people and this planet.

Default Deterioration vs Longevity

We know that life has a certain curve of wellness which declines into deterioration after reaching its peak of performance. The is the natural default deterioration which accompanies life. Whether you are a rock, a flower, a tree, or a human being. When you have served Mother Nature by utilizing her resources for your peak years of procreation, she begins to allow your physical form to deteriorate to make way for younger procreators.

Default deterioration is the natural order of life as the endless cycle of transforming from dust to life, from life to dust, ‘round and ‘round it goes, where it stops nobody knows.

Then there is you. You have the ability to change the natural tendency to restrict your life to a limited degree of potential, deteriorate and die to make room for others. You can, if you so desire, take a proactive approach to living a healthier life, continually growing and expanding in consciousness, awareness, and ever-increasing longevity.

In the last 50 years, life expectancy in the United States has increased from 70 years to nearly 79 years of age, there is a growing community of Americans who are seeking to extend their lives by taking better care of themselves, being more conscious about what they put in their bodies as raw materials, and staying active and productive well into what might be considered advanced age.

I have the full intention of living to be 120 years old, and there are many others who are on the path of doing just that. It is said that by the time those of us have reached 120 years old, there is a very good chance that we can go form there to 200 years old.

You have to be careful who you have this conversation with because the initial reaction of those who hear that you want to live to be 100-years or more will violently protest, raising their voice to ask,

How long do you want to live?

Followed by 100 reasons why they would not want to live that long. For those people, they associate aging with decrepitude, they’ve aligned themselves with the idea of the default deterioration so much, that they resign themselves to embracing the idea of looking forward to an early grave.

To them, the idea of living very long means not being able to care for themselves, to rot away in a home as their body shuts down. This is the price they see for persisting to live and extend their lives on planet Earth. Too high a price for them to consider.

Yet, every year, more and more Americans (nearly 90,000 at present) are living to be more than 100 years old. While there is the genetic anomaly, the growing number of these people referred to as Centenarians, have extended their lives with intention, purpose, and a variety of proactive approaches to healthy living.

Of course,

you have to want to live.

You need good reason(s) to live. Finding the joy of life and living a better life, adding value to family and community. Having so much fun with an ever-expanding joy, happiness, and appreciation for each breath you take. Every day you awake you know blessings are expected as you keep moving forward through another exciting day.

For the people who are living beyond what was previously seen as impossible not that long ago, they are not spending their extended years in wheelchairs or hospital beds. The ones I know are out walking on the beach, gardening, dancing, working out at the gym, hiking, climbing trees/mountains, riding bikes, racing motorcycles, practicing yoga, taking the boat out, and savoring every drop of life they can from each moment.

They take full responsibility for their own health and wellness, in ways that might frighten someone who has decided to live to be 78 to 79 at best, hoping that their time comes sooner rather than later, hopefully, while they’re asleep.

Not everyone is created the same, but as you look around, you will notice a go=rowing number of people who are aging in ways that would shock their peers.

Of course, if you’re going to live a long life, you must wrap your head around the idea that you are probably going to outlive everyone you know and love. You have to find a way to make peace with that, allowing others to do the best they can with what they have without judgment.

For the idea of advanced longevity, many are called, but few will do the work it takes to effectively extend their lives as they project themselves into the future.

What about you?

How long do you want to live?

More importantly,

Why?

October 2018 Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of October, here’s a quick screenshot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

Twisting Your Words to Make You Look Bad Gift Giving Fading Fear
Conscious Confidence Being in the Now Helping someone who hasn’t asked for it
Truth Continuum Hospital Inside You How Dare You Disrespect Me
Treatment-Resistant Depression Allow Unto Others Cosmic Speakeasy
Rejecting Love Your Higher Self Have We Met Somewhere Before?

Changing Bad Habits into Good Ones

Everything is Going Wrong in My Life

Twisting Your Words to Make You Look Bad

Don’t you just hate it when someone twists your words, gets all heated up, and attacks you – using your own words – to put you on the defensive or make you upset. What’s happening? What can you do when someone’s twisting your words to make you look bad.

First of all, this is a common practice in the media because it creates the best soundbites, which causes people to tune in to your news show, radio program, media event, or a potentially viral meme on social media. In this arena, it’s called “spin,” and it’s an acceptable practice covered by free speech and parody, especially in public venues. Nonetheless, your words can be a very powerful weapon to hurt, harm, or disable any potential for good someone might have had in the world.

Far more common is the way someone in your social circle might twist your words to make you look bad. This is a tool used by many individuals who are not self-confident, have been severely victimized in the past, or live under high degrees of oppression, stress, or fear.

Twisting your words to make you look bad is an effective defense mechanism utilized by someone to project ideas hidden deep within their heart or psyches onto you, which releases the emotional pressure from unresolved emotional wounds left to fester and grow.

Such a person is not likely to be open to your suggestion of this fact. If wounded people are looking for demons, they will find them everywhere they look, until they awake to the idea that they might have some negative repression that is happening inside, and are willing to not only look at it but do the work of dealing with these issues to resolve them.

In the meantime, they will twist your words to make you look bad, which can have a huge negative impact on you, making you actually feel bad. When used effectively, the damaged individual twisting your words will make you feel bad, and this causes the sufferer to feel better, as they have transferred their pent-up emotional pain to you. This offers them relief. That’s why they do it.

He or she will continue to project these ideas onto you because his or her reward is feeling better about his-or-her-self by twisting your words to make you look bad. So, they are highly motivated to engage in this assaultive and potentially abusive activity.

In normal circumstances, you would be motivated to defend yourself against this attack or false accusation. It is a normal reaction to defend yourself if you’ve been falsely accused. The only problem with reacting defensively is that it creates more momentum for the breeding ground of this unfortunate circumstance which you’ve found yourself in.

Understanding this might offer you enough emotional space to not react defensively. Instead of adding more energy to the confrontation, which causes an increasing cycle of adding energy to an impossible situation, because no amount of your defensiveness or rationale will slay the emotionally injured person’s demons.

Plus, you can have some compassion or empathy for the person who is twisting your words in an accusatory fashion, because you know they are wounded and suffering inside, being careful not to feel sorry for them, because that would insinuate your superiority. Instead, you realize that if you were him or her, having lived the life he or she has lived up to this point, you would have reacted in exactly the same way.

A simple and calm response, such as, “That’s not what I meant, but you’re entitled to your own opinion,” might be enough to side-step a potentially volatile situation. If you don’t want to make things worse, it’s best to just avoid any conflict in this situation.

No one can make you look or feel bad unless you empower them by adding fuel to their fire and being defensive. There is no need for you to respond to anyone’s ridiculous false accusations or attempts to make you look bad.

Simply do not respond to anyone’s attempts to attack or discredit you, whether they are twisting your words, or concocting their own, unless you choose to offer clarification, for any part that may be true. But if you do offer clarification, try to find the space to think through the ramifications for doing so, because you may be offering up even more ammunition for them to fire back at you with even more word twisting.

If you are masterfully self-aware and tolerant, you might offer yourself up as a shock absorber for this person to release as much of their pent-up frustrations as possible. To do so effectively, you must have the ability or skill of letting someone verbally attack or abuse you without being emotionally engaged. A martyr might do so in lieu of having the ability or skill to avoid suffering the emotional consequences. Unless this is your calling or part of your life’s purpose, this will likely not apply to you.

So, we’ve discussed why people in public venues and media might twist your words, and why those who are emotionally wounded, or low self-esteem might do so, but we haven’t talked about why a psychopath or someone on the predatory end of the anti-social personality spectrum might twist your words to make you feel bad.

Their motivation is to undermine or destroy you and/or your credibility altogether. This is an entirely different subject, yet your response should be the same. Do not add fuel to the fire by defending yourself, walk away, and find someplace safe to be, where you can avoid the psychopath or sociopath.