Basic Social Skills

Your interactions with other people can have a huge impact on how long it takes you to get from point A to point B at various junctures along your life’s journey. If you possess a degree of anxiety when interacting with other people regularly, it would behoove you to exercise your social muscles.

Strengthening your social muscles can be a little intimidating, at first and can be likened unto going to the gym. If you’ve never been to a gym, just getting yourself to go there in the first place can be a challenge. Once you step inside, you are greeted with a maze of equipment and people who are clearly more adept at using the equipment, especially considering you’re a complete novice. Nonetheless, you survey the landscape and select what you’ve determined to be the piece of equipment that might be the easiest for you to adapt to then as you build confidence, move onto other equipment. Before long, you’re engulfed in full circuit training.

Here are some tips to start exercising your social muscles while smiling (yes, by all means, smile.)

basic-social-skills-practice-with-retail-cashier

You may notice the first three steps in establishing rapport are commonly used by cashiers at the store. It is common practice for retail establishment to require their line staff to acknowledge their customers by greeting them with some form of “Hi,” following up with an inviting, “How are you?” and thanking them for their patronage.

You could start with any one of these first three interactions.

You could start by expressing gratitude. A simple, “Thank you,” will help to break the ice. It makes the person you’re directing it to feel appreciated (good) and your reward is receiving the sense that you can visually see and emotionally feel a change of countenance as his or her spirit is lifted, if even the only slightest bit. Good job.

Moving on, you can have a lot more fun with, “How are you?”
I find that most retail staff will say “how are you?” out of habit and generally do not expect a response. This is a great place to practice your social skills. A simple acknowledgement of your state of mind (which I prefer to keep positive) like, “I am having a great day.” Followed by, “How are you doing?” They are often surprised when someone asks them how they’re doing and may not have even noticed they asked you how you were doing first, because they do it out of habit in a kind of trance. Your showing an interest in them breaks them out of the trance. Its quid pro quo, they’ve asked you. You responded. Now, it’s implied that if you ask them, they must break state and think for a second in order to muster some kind of conscious response.

How much fun is that? You’ll be surprised at the responses that will be elicited, and if only for a moment, you not only exercised some social skill building for yourself, you have rescued someone from the doldrums of an otherwise unconscious/robotic state of mind.

Now, the third part – saying “Hi” to a perfect stranger – might be the hardest of the three initial components. Besides, weren’t we told since we were very young, not to talk to strangers? Well, you’re older now, and though I am encouraging you to speak to strangers, I still suggest that you not take candy from them or get in their cars, etc…

Some people are a natural at it, like my dad who greets everyone with a smile. He’s the best Wal-Mart greeter of all time because he’s so darned good at it. He has since retired and continues to hone his skills throughout the day, and enthusiastically at church.

Q: Why talk to strangers? A: Because you don’t know who they are.

If you’re on your path, going from point A to point B, the universe may be vectoring all kinds of assistance to expedite your journey, so they will begin appearing all around you. Since you may not know who these people are, they will likely be strangers.

If they were not intended to assist you – no problem – you may have made the world a better place, just by greeting a stranger. Your smile and brief interaction may have been at just the right time and place for that individual. It may save their life.

Want to kick it up a notch?

Use their name

In business environments, this is insisted upon for line staff in high-end environments. It is not uncommon for employers to send in undercover potential clients to look for these basic components. If an employee excludes one of the components, the employer may release him/her on-the-spot if they demand a high level of customer service from their employees.

Nothing is sweeter to a person’s ears than the sound of their own name. If you can obtain and use their name in even the briefest interactions, you will make the world a better place.

Okay, we’ve got your foot in the door of the gym. Keep on the lookout for more workout routines to come.

What is Self Conscious?

It’s one thing to be interested in how you are perceived by others, it’s another to be overwhelmed by wondering what people are (or a particular person is) thinking about you. Being consumed by what someone else is thinking about you indicates self-consciousness.

Which is not to be confused with being consciously aware of one’s self.

what-is-self-conscious-meaning

If you are self conscious, you are obsessed by what other people think about you and are threatened by their (perceived) thoughts, or even worse, if they actually voice the slightest criticism.

It may be of some comfort to realize that people are not as likely to think as much about you as you might like to give them credit for.

For instance, if you’re giving an important speech in front of peers at a formal affair, you’re introduced by the emcee and as you walk up to the podium you trip over the microphone cord. You don’t fall, but your misstep was painfully noticeable. You regain your composure, make your way to the podium and look out at all the faces staring at you.

The self conscious person assumes the entire audience is thinking something like, “what a klutz!” or that you’re, “so nervous,” you’re, “stumbling all over yourself,” and, “can’t even walk straight,” or they might be wondering if you’re drunk.

While the self respecting person (on the other end of the spectrum) would simply recognize the unfortunate cord placement which was nearly the cause of a full onstage fall, shrug it off, walk up to the podium and begin his or her speech as if nothing happened.

The self conscious person in this scenario might approach a confidant after the speech and say, “Did you see that huge mic cord stretched across the stage that nearly killed me as I was trying to make my speech? I tripped, nearly killed myself and must’ve seemed the fool, or people might have thought I was drunk.”

The confidant is likely to honestly reply, “Oh, I didn’t even notice.” As neither did most, if not all of the attending audience. The self-conscious create an enormous amount of self-imposed drama and internal dialogue based on ideas without merit: nothing.

Thinking is one thing, what about what someone says?

What someone says about you, or to you about you, doesn’t really have as much to do with you, as it does with them.

You might be introduced to a personal trainer who says, “You are amazing. You would be so much more amazing if you were to lose 15 or 20 pounds and firm up in a couple of target areas. I could help you with that.”

The self conscious mind machine goes into overdrive spitting out a mental ticker tape, asserting the trainer, “called me fat … said I was flabby … overweight … a big blob of jelly … I’m not as amazing as I could be because I’m a fatty …” and on and on it goes with the self criticism that could potentially lead to self loathing, “I hate myself.”

Self respecting people would ask for the trainer’s card and might say, “Thank you.” And if they’re not considering themselves a potential client, might offer the card to someone else who might be looking to spend more quality time at the gym.

What if you asked your partner, “How does my butt look in these jeans?” to which they reply, “Yeah… I wouldn’t be putting that butt in those jeans if I were you.”

Really?

Don’t worry about it. You have no idea what was going on inside the mind and body of your respective partner at the time you asked the question that made them respond like that.

Most everyone is self conscious to some degree, but to move from self consciousness to respecting yourself in all things is the goal of one growing in conscious awareness of one’s self. Not to deny anything is as it is, but simply to recognize that things are what they are, shrug it off and don’t let it (whatever it is) knock you off-track (even though it may knock you off-balance momentarily) and resume your life.

Stay tuned and I will give you some tips on how to overcome self-consciousness.

Peace

I’m old enough to remember the sixties, when young, rebellious Americans protested in the streets clamoring for peace and a better world. While they were able to voice their opinion for the most part, sometimes their making a stand against the machine turned to tears and fears when met with violence which turned to anger and more violence.

peace will only come when we realize that it cannot be achieved by violence

Peace will only come when we realize that it cannot be achieved by violence.

That was then, this is now. So much has changed. We the people wield so much power held in the palm of our hand that we can potentially expose evil cloaked in righteousness or send love to the world by tapping a button on our cell phone.

This power can be used for good or evil; even in the quest for peace.

How will you use your power(s) to promote peace?

It is exponentially more effective to lovingly and peacefully promote peace than it is to battle against those who would stand in the way of the peaceful world you envision for the future.

Yet there are those of us who are called to do battle as warriors, some who are steadfast lovers or saints and those of us who are warrior saints, a combination of both.

It is the belief held by the steadfast lovers and promoters of peace that by maintaining a loving and peaceful vibration will enable you to enjoy a peaceful life but also to live a better life and make the world a better place.

How?

By example.

When the peace-lovers exemplify the living of a peaceful life less complicated, more abundant, filled with contentment and higher degrees of happiness, this cannot go on without others taking notice.

I’m not talking about flower-child hippies. I’m referring to enlightened individuals and holistic businesspeople in all stations and walks of life awakening to their destinies and achieving their highest and best in the most love-fueled dignified fashion. These are the counter leaders, those who lead by example not by dominance. They approach life, challenges, obstacles and celebratory opportunities with tolerance and enthusiasm, while maintaining an even keel, both in the boardroom and in everyday life.

This awakening is taking place right now as you read these words and its spreading like a sacred virus.

There is a dichotomy that exists in the stark contrast between the people who use their energy to promote lower level vibrations, and those who use their energy to lovingly promote peace. You can instantly tell which who is who by looking at their social media profile.

Where is the love?

Although to utilize love as an energetic component, you must have some love to work with. In many cases, when I meet people, I take a look inside their heart – as if it were a canister meant to contain love – I open it and look inside. More often than not, I discover it is empty.

We are all born with all the love we could possibly use, yet as we travel our life’s journey, we tend to squander our love, and as an act of self-preservation discard it. Many of us would rather have no love at all than to risk loving and having it unrequited.

Healing, embracing love and learning to live life again are key components to the awakening.

A better world awaits

It is a highly regarded belief that when this new awakening and subsequent enlightenment reaches critical mass, this new peaceful and abundant planet will emerge, celebrating all life and a better world.

You are an important piece in the proliferation of peace today.

Thank you for taking the high road for peace.

Dreams Can Come True in Your Golden Years

I hear it all the time

“If only I were younger.”

Although, there is some truth to the ageism that takes place as you pass middle-age, plenty of folks are pursuing their dreams in the fifties and beyond and becoming

Wildly Successful in their Golden Years

With people living longer these days, 60 is the new 40 when it comes to entrepreneurship.

dreams-can-come-true-in-your-golden-years-successful-people-who-started-late-in-life

Sure, you could live out the remainder of your years rocking away as Mother Nature prepares to move you out of the way to free-up resources for the new, young baby-makers as you think back and ruminate on all the missed opportunities or things that might have been, if only you’d taken action when you had the chance.

Or,

You Can Start to Make Your Mark Now

You may not give yourself enough credit, but now that you are more seasoned, your chances of becoming an amazing success are 100 percent better than someone less-seasoned (under the age of 38). That’s right, you’re twice as likely to be massively successful if you launch yourself full-force into your wildest dreams if you’re over fifty.

Here are some examples of folks, just like us, who struck gold after age fifty:

Charles Darwin
50
author On the Origin of the Species
Julia Child
50
wrote her first cook book
Jack Cover
50
invented the Taser gun
Harold Stanley
50
founded Mogan Stanley
Leo Goodwin
50
founded GEICO
Gordon Bowker
51
founded Starbucks
Tim & Nina Zagat
51
published Zagat restaurant reviews
Taikichiro Mori
51
founded Mori Building Company
Ray Croc
52
bought and grew McDonald’s
Carol Gardner
52
founded Zelda Wisdom greetings
Yoshisuke Aikawa
53
founded Nissan
Arianna Huffington
55
started Huffington Post
Ferdinand Porsche
56
founded Porsche
Wally Blume
57
Denali Flavors ice cream company
Adele Douglass
57
founded Certified Humane
Jill Boehler
57
founder Chilly Jilly
Kawasaki Shozo
59
founded Kawasaki
Amadeo Giannini
60
founded Bank of America
Daniel Defoe
60
author Robinson Crusoe
Charles Flint
61
founded IBM
Sam Teitelbaum
61
founded AllerAir
Bob Miller
62
founded Incredibly Edible Cookie Co
C. Kumar N. Patel
62
Pranalytica, electronic equipment and instruments
Harland Sanders
62
franchised Kentucky Fried Chicken
Gail Dunn
63
founded Women’s Automotive Connection
Countess Rosa Branicka
63
helped develop breast cancer surgical techniques
Patrick O’Brian
65
author Master And Commander sea stories
Laura Ingalls Wilder
65
published “Little House” books
Harold McMaster
68
founded First Solar
Lisa Gable
70
invented the Strap-Mate bra strap
Mary Wesley
70
author The Camomile Lawn
Art Koff
72
founded Retired Brains
Anna Mary Robertson Moses
78
first Grandma Moses painting
Jeanne Dowell
80
founded Green Buddha clothing
Sylvia Lieberman
90
creator of Archibald Mouse Books
Harry Bernstein
96
author The Invisible Wall: A Love Story That Broke Barriers
So what’s your excuse now?

Let’s face it; the time for feeling sorry for yourself has passed. There’s no better time for you to live your best life and enthusiastically seize your passion with all you’ve got right now.

It’s never too late to write your story, to use your life experience to help others, to invent, create or make marked improvements on something that could be better or easier to use, or allow others to pay you for doing what you love.

It has never been easier for you to create a massive, influential venture with the ability to make the world a better place than right now.

And you – with all your knowledge, experience, flaws and suppressed dreams – are locked and ready to fire as you launch your ambition into the stratosphere!

The time is now

And you are the chosen one

Energetic Exploration

Ever know someone who seems to be an over-achiever possessing almost superhuman abilities to go and go this way and that, with enthusiasm and energy that seems to never run dry?

Their energy generates a magnetic field that attracts new possibilities and opportunities they seize the ones appealing to them as they race past the others. They appear to have the best luck, achieve more than the rest of us and are generally happier most of the time.

energetic-exploration-magnetic-journey-iahulbak

And you think, “I want some of that,” as you try to reverse engineer it. Is it the Starbucks? Green tea? Working out at the gym? A magical supplement? Or you wonder if he/she made some kind of deal with the devil?

This energetic magnetic field is created when you spend more time exploring uncharted territory. This unprecedented stamina is the result of continually pushing forward into areas of life that are new, different, challenging and unfamiliar.

It doesn’t take any magic pill or concoction, what it does require is enough raw courage to begin the process of launching your exploration of the unknown.

There is a certain amount of comfort associated with the safety of keeping things the same, at an even keel, surrounded by familiar faces and circumstances (even though they might be undesirable at times) there is an uncanny feeling of security associated with our complacent lives as we continue to feather the nest around us.

Then there are those jumping out of the nest from tree to tree soaring and exploring the vast horizon.

All it requires is you willing to take the leap out of the nest of your comfort zone. Albeit, it doesn’t have to be all at once, you can exit the next the first time as awkwardly as possible. It’s likely that you’ve been in the nest so long there is no one to toss you out, so you’re going to have to do it on your own.

It’s reasonable to experience an amount of trepidation when first launching from the nest, in fact the first attempt may more resemble falling than flying, but it gets easier and you get better at it every time you do it.

I’m a big fan of baby steps. No need to bite off more than you can chew, just make progress between where you are and where you want to be – no matter how small – it still moves you closer to the things you desire and can have, if you close the gap between what you want and that which you possess.

There are some components which can make closing the gap more expedient and efficient; they are courage, determination, planning, commitment and reward.

Courage: We’ve already ascertained courage is required to initiate the process.

Determination: It will take a certain degree of determination – of overcoming the inner dialogue which is resistant to change – to move into uncharted territory. Resist negative self-talk and start affirming your impending better life.

Planning: This represents charting a course from where you are to where you want to be, with mile markers along the way. For instance, if you were travelling from Seattle to New York, you might have significant stops to make along the way, like Spokane, Glacier National Park, Fargo, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland and Pittsburgh, then your final destination of New York.

Commitment: It will take commitment to leave your home and head out for New York with your first goal of making it from Seattle to Spokane, then each other destination successively between where you are and where you want to be. With courage initiate the fortitude necessary to stay true to your journey.

Reward: Make sure to reward yourself and celebrate each charted milestone as a win bringing you closer and closer to the end result of everything you desire.

Of course, I’m using an example of a coast to coast road trip but any goal including subsequent goals can be used with this process.

Allow for the unknown: On any journey the traveler is likely to encounter unforeseen circumstances. Embrace the challenges appearing along the way, conquer them, retain the learning and resume your journey. No need to let a bump in the road to cause you to abort your travel plans altogether.

Ever notice how exciting it is to go on vacation or a road trip to some place you’ve never been before?

At the beginning 3,000 miles seems like a daunting challenge, but moving from milestone to milestone gets you there… and the trip is enjoyable, possibly with stories of challenges that needed to be overcome to get from here to there, but it was exhilarating.

You had more energy, excitement and attracted new possibilities along the way.

This is the life well lived, the secret ingredient, of the energetic explorer.
What do they do when they reach New York? Chart a new path. And you might be surprised to discover they are running many journeys concurrently, ‘ere their overzealous enthusiasm.

How much better does it get?

Viva Las Vegas

I love Las Vegas, though admittedly I haven’t been there for a while for I was waiting for my life to get to a certain state before venturing back there again. Nonetheless, the planets seemed to align and I found myself in my favorite town once again.

viva-las-vegas

It was a good chance to visit the city which is constantly in a state of change. Some of my favorite casinos were gone and even more magnificent monolithic architectural structures stood in their stead, while others were currently undergoing reconstruction. I try to make sure to spend time both on the strip and downtown on Freemont Street.

There is such a variety of culture and cuisine opportunities. Many geographical areas around the United States and the world are represented as well as their exquisite food which ranges from the basic foot-long hot dog and buffets to designer hamburgers and ornate French culinary artistry (and everything in between).

Always the fan of entertainment and celebration of the arts, I adore the wide variety of options ranging from street performers and nightclub acts to Broadway shows and the most extravagant venues imaginable.

If you have a hankering for sharing your talent or ideas wandering the streets of Las Vegas, you might like to know that there are no permits or licenses required by law to perform on the streets and it is one of the huge public venues where you truly have (nearly) unlimited freedom of expression.

Then there are the people. If you enjoy sampling the widest variety of individuals from all over the United States and the world, this is the place. Though it’s not as much a family-friendly environment as you might expect, the majority of the folks who come here are adults ranging from the newly-acquired adulthood to the senior citizen. Everyone is represented in the Las Vegas playground.

On this last trip, a young hip hop artist was giving away CD samples of his music in hopes that someone walking the strip might be able to “discover” his unique brand of talent. Passing by, I reached for the CD in his outstretched hand. He pulled it back and said, “Sorry, man. This is hip hop and you too old and too white for this shit.”

Interesting response, I thought. For all he knew, I could have been an A&R director for a big recording company. Nonetheless, a rude reminder that I am not the spring chicken I once was. Clearly I am older and plausibly paler, so he gets credit for observation of the obvious, and while I appreciate hip hop, I am not an enormous fan of it.

Later that night, a lovely young woman offered to spend some quality time with me, possibly including a sleepover. When I told her that I was holding out for my soul mate and wife, she offered to be both my soul mate and wife for the evening. I blushed, thanked her for the offer, and wished her good luck on her search for a partner tonight. It was a pleasant contrast to being too old and too white.

When you go to Vegas, don’t be surprised if you run into someone from your hometown, or find you are recognized by someone from your past. This happens to me almost every time I go to Las Vegas, a reminder that it is such a small world.

I so enjoy the hypnotic effect of all the neon, flashing lights, huge video displays and music playing on the streets (and that’s just outside), inside the casino hotels is another experience altogether.

And where else could you vacation, where thanks to the gaming, you could actually come back home with more money than you left with; and had so much fun doing it?

There is an implied level of confidentiality asserting, “What happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas,” but I don’t know, I saw a lot of cell phones documenting embarrassing events that were sure to be shared on YouTube.

I think the reason I am drawn to Vegas is because Las Vegas is a metaphor for me.

I am always growing and changing. There are all kinds of excitement happening inside me, and every type of emotional combination moves throughout my consciousness. The flashing neon synapses firing within dazzle the possibilities. I don’t mind dabbling in chance a little. I adore the arts and am deeply moved by articulate execution, ambitious performance or heartfelt prose.

This is my kind of town, because I am a little Vegas myself.

What Does Integrity Mean?

I talk a lot about integrity when I am working with people, and you’d be surprised to find that while people will agree about integrity’s importance, they may perceive its definition differently.

While the official definition of integrity might be:

“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.”

There is a deeper meaning among those who are on a path to enlightenment; a more accurate integrity definition would be something, like this:

“To have integrity means you hold yourself to a high standard of doing the things you say regardless circumstance or feeling.”

to-have-integrity-means-you-hold-yourself-to-a-standard-of-doing-the-things-you-say-regardless-circumstance-or-feeling

In other words, you keep your word, elsewise no one could truly put their trust in you. An old adage referring to integrity was, “A man’s word is his bond.” This translates to

“If I tell you something, you can count on it coming to pass.”

Back in the day, this standard of integrity only applied to the masculine sex due to their ability to make a thing so was far more likely due to the feminine’s lack of resources; this does not apply today, as women too have the ability to manifest a result just as equally (or more so) than their male counterparts.

The first objection to come to mind for anyone contemplating the heaviness of possessing a high degree of integrity and the meaning of integrity in general might be

“What if I change my mind?”

Change is a matter to be weighed any time anyone makes a commitment, gives their word or generally agrees to anything. It is a constant throughout time that things will happen, circumstances may change or additional knowledge may have been withheld at the time the affirmation was agreed to.

“So, what do I do, if I gave my word and now find myself in a quandary?”

Integrity also allows for the integrous individual to alter his or her word, without much loss of one’s value of integrity if it is handled with integrity.

An integrous person who is unable to keep their word must approach the active party/parties with humility and honesty, explaining their inability to keep his or her word due to whatever circumstances apply, then ask for feedback, solutions or alternatives to make things right.

The highest level of integrity would be to keep your word and follow through regardless of feelings, circumstances of even due to lack of integrity of other parities who may have been involved. The next best thing would be to enter a negotiation to see if all parties can agree on a compromise that they all can live with. It might not be ideal or completely integrous, but it is honorable to

Do the right thing

Which may mean considering changes in circumstances and renegotiation; though it can be problematic if after much deliberation no compromise can be found.

If no compromise can be agreed to there may be an inevitable loss of integrity as well as trust that may have been associated with it.

If you find yourself often unable to keep your word, you may find that you agree to things too quickly, without practicing due diligence or reviewing the ramifications of your commitment prior to agreement. In this case, consider enforcing your own hesitation to allow time for thoughtful consideration before agreeing to anything. This can help to preserve your integrity.

Recovery of a high level of integrity may be established after a time of demonstrating one’s level of integrity over time.

A small number of people within our population actually adhere to any level of integrity, as the majority focus completely on how they feel at any given moment, and this lack of integrity has led our society to where it is today.

On the other hand, there are people, like us, who choose to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

If nothing else, people know us by our ability to follow through and be counted on, regardless of circumstance or how we feel.

This is the definition of integrity.

Heal Your Life Symptoms

A

Abdominal Cramps: Fear. Stopping the process.
Abscess: Fermenting thoughts over hurts, slights and revenge.
Accidents: Inability to speak up for the self. Rebellion against authority. Belief in violence.
Aches: Longing for love. Longing to be held.
Acne: Not accepting the self. Dislike of the self.
Addictions: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love self.
Adrenal Problems: Defeatism. No longer caring for the self. Anxiety.
Alcoholism: Feeling of futility, guilt, inadequacy. Self-rejection.
Allergies: Denying your own power.
Alzheimer’s Disease: Refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and helplessness. Anger.
Amenorrhea: Not wanting to be a woman. Dislike of the self.
Anemia: “Yes-but” attitude. Lack of joy. Fear of life. Not feeling good enough.
Ankle: Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.
Anorexia: Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection.
Anxiety: Not trusting the flow and the process of life.
Apathy: Resistance to feeling. Deadening of the self. Fear.
Appetite, Excessive: Fear. Needing protection. Judging the emotions.
Arm: Represents the capacity and ability to hold the experiences of life.
Arteries: Carry the joy of life.
Arthritic Fingers: A desire to punish. Blame. Feeling victimized.
Arthritis: Feeling unloved. Criticism, resentment. – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Feeling victimized. Lack of love. Chronic bitterness. Resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Asthma: Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.
Athlete’s Foot: Frustration at not being accepted. Inability to move forward with ease.

B

Back Issues: Represents the support of life. Back Problems: – Rounded shoulders: Carrying the burdens of life. Helpless and hopeless. – Lower Back Pain: Fear of money or lack of financial support. – Mid-Back Pain: Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back!” – Upper Back Pain: Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. – Back Curvature: The inability to flow with the support of life. Fear and trying to hold on to old ideas. Not trusting life. Lack of integrity. No courage of convictions.
Bad Breath: Anger and revenge thoughts. Experiences backing up.
Balance, Loss of: Scattered thinking. Not centered.
Baldness: Fear. Tension. Trying to control everything.
Bedwetting: Fear of parent, usually the father.
Belching: Fear. Gulping life too quickly.
Bell’s Palsy: Extreme control over anger. Unwillingness to express feelings.
Bladder Problems: Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being “pissed off”.
Bleeding: Joy running out. Anger.
Blisters: Resistance. Lack of emotional protection.
Blood Pressure: – High: Longstanding emotional problem not solved. – Low: Lack of love as a child. Defeatism.
Body Odor: Fear. Dislike of the self. Fear of others.
Bones: Represent the structure of the universe. – Bone marrow: Represents deepest beliefs about the self. How you support and care for yourself. – Breaks: Rebelling against authority.
Brain: Represents the computer, the switchboard. – Tumor: Incorrect computerized beliefs. Stubborn. Refusing to change old patterns.
Breast: Represents mothering and nurturing and nourishment. – Cysts, Lumps: A refusal to nourish the self. Putting everyone else first. Over mothering. Overprotection. Overbearing attitudes.
Breath: Represents the ability to take in life. – Breathing Problems: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Getting stuck in childhood. Fear of taking in life fully. – Bronchitis: Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling.
Bruises: The little bumps in life. Self-punishment.
Bulimia: Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred.
Burns: Anger. Burning up. Incensed.
Bursitis: Repressed anger. Wanting to hit someone.

C

Calluses: Hardened concepts and ideas. Fear solidified.
Cancer: Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds.
Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.
Canker Sores: Festering words held back by the lips. Blame.
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Anger and frustration at life’s seeming injustices.
Cataracts: Inability to see ahead with joy. Dark future.
Cellulite: Stored anger and self-punishment.
Cerebral Palsy: A need to unite the family in an action of love.
Chills: Mental contraction, pulling away and in. Desire to retreat.
Cholesterol: Clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy.
Circulation: Represents the ability to feel and express the emotions in positive ways.
Colds: Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.
Colic: Mental irritation, impatience, annoyance in the surroundings.
Colitis: Insecurity. Represents the ease of letting go of that which is over.
Coma: Fear. Escaping something or someone.
Conjunctivitis: Anger and frustration at what you are looking at in life.
Constipation: Incomplete releasing. Holding on to garbage of the past. Guilt over the past. Sometimes stinginess.
Corns: Hardened areas of thought – stubborn holding on to the pain of the past.
Coughs: A desire to bark at the world. “Listen to me!”
Cramps: Tension. Fear. Gripping, holding on.
Crohn’s Disease: Fear. Worry. Not feeling good enough.
Crying: Tears are the river of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear.
Cuts: Punishment for not following your own rules.
Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.
Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”

D

Deafness: Rejection, stubbornness, isolation. What don’t you want to hear? “Don’t bother me.”
Depression: Anger you feel you do not have a right to have. Hopelessness.
Diabetes: Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.
Diarrhea: Fear. Rejection. Running off.
Dizziness: Flighty, scattered thinking. A refusal to look.
Dry eyes: Angry eyes. Refusing to see with love. Would rather die than forgive. Being spiteful.
Dysmenorrhea: Anger at the self. Hatred of the body or of women.

E

Ear: Represents the capacity to hear. – Ache: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Household arguing.
Eczema: Breath-taking antagonism. Mental eruptions.
Edema: What or who won’t you let go of?
Elbow: Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences.
Emphysema: Fear of taking in life. Not worthy of living.
Endometriosis: Insecurity, disappointment and frustration. Replacing self-love with sugar. Blamers.
Epilepsy: Sense of persecution. Rejection of life. A feeling of great struggle. Self-violence.
Epstein-Barr Virus: Pushing beyond one’s limits. Fear of not being good enough. Draining all inner support. Stress.
Eye: Represents the capacity to see clearly past, present, future. – Astigmatism: “I” trouble. Fear of really seeing the self. – Hyperopia: Fear of the present. – Myopia: Fear of the future.

F

Face: Represents what we show the world.
Fainting: Fear. Can’t cope. Blacking out.
Fat or Weight issues: Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment. – Arms: Anger at being denied love. – Belly: Anger at being denied nourishment. – Hips: Lumps of stubborn anger at the parents. – Thighs: Packed childhood anger. Often rage at the father.
Fatigue: Resistance, boredom. Lack of love for what one does.
Feet: Represent our understanding – of ourselves, of life, of others. – Foot Problems: Fear of the future and of not stepping forward in life.
Fever: Anger. Burning up.
Fibroid Tumors: Nursing a hurt from a partner. A blow to the feminine ego.
Fingers: Represent the details of life. – Thumb: Represents intellect and worry. – Index: Represents ego and fear. – Middle: Represents anger and sexuality. – Ring: Represents unions and grief. – Little: Represents the family and pretending.
Food Poisoning: Allowing others to take control. Feeling defenseless.
Frigidity: Fear. Denial of pleasure. A belief that sex is bad. Insensitive partners. Fear of father.
Fungus: Stagnating beliefs. Refusing to release the past. Letting the past rule today.

G

Gallstones: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride.
Gas: Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas.
Gastritis: Prolonged uncertainty. A feeling of doom.
Genitals: Represent the masculine and feminine principles. Worry about not being good enough.
Gland Problems: Represent holding stations. Self-staring activity. Holding yourself back.
Gout: The need to dominate. Impatience, anger.
Glaucoma: Stony unforgiveness. Pressure from longstanding hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.
Gray Hair: Stress. A belief in pressure and strain.
Growths: Nursing those old hurts. Building resentments.
Gum Problems: Inability to back up decisions. Indecisive about life.

H

Hands: Hold and handle. Clutch and grip. Grasping and letting go. Caressing. Pinching. All ways of dealing with experiences.
Hay Fever: Emotional congestion. Fear of the calendar. A belief in persecution. Guilt.
Headaches: Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear.
Heart: Represents the center of love and security. – Heart Attack: Squeezing all the joy out of the heart in favor of money or position. Feeling alone and scared. “I’m not good enough. I don’t do enough. I’ll never make it.” – Heart Problems: Longstanding emotional problems. Lack of joy. Hardening of the heart. Belief in strain and stress.
Heartburn: Fear. Fear. Fear. Clutching Fear.
Hemorrhoids: Fear of deadlines. Anger of the past. Afraid to let go. Feeling burdened.
Hepatitis: Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage.
Hernia: Ruptured relationships. Strain, burdens, incorrect creative expression.
Herpes Genitalis: Mass belief in sexual guilt and the need for punishment. Public shame. Belief in a punishing God. Rejection of the genitals.
Herpes Simplex: Bitter words left unspoken.
Hip: Carries the body in perfect balance. Major thrust in moving forward. Fear of going forward in major decisions. Nothing to move forward to.
Hives: Small, hidden fears. Mountains out of molehills.
Hodgkin’s Disease: Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no substance left to support itself. The joy of life is forgotten in the race of acceptance.
Hyperactivity: Fear. Feeling pressured and frantic.
Hyperventilation: Fear. Resisting change. Not trusting the process.
Hypoglycemia: Overwhelmed by the burdens in life.

I

Impotence: Sexual pressure, tension, guilt. Social beliefs. Spite against a previous mate. Fear of mother.
Incontinence: Emotional overflow. Years of controlling emotions.
Indigestion: Gut-level fear, dread, anxiety. Griping and grunting.
Infection: Irritation, anger, annoyance.
Inflammation: Fear. Seeing red. Inflamed thinking. Anger and frustration about conditions you are looking at in your life.
Influenza: Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.
Ingrown Toenail: Worry and guilt about your right to move forward.
Injuries: Anger at the self. Feeling guilty.
Insanity: Fleeing from the family. Escapism, withdrawal. Violent separation from life.
Insomnia: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Guilt.
Intestines: Represent assimilation and absorption.
Itching: Desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied. Remorse. Itching to get out or get away.

J

Jaundice: Internal and external prejudice. Unbalanced reason.
Jaw Problems: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

K

Kidney Problems: Criticism, disappointment, failure. Shame. Reacting like a child.
Kidney Stones: Lumps of undissolved anger.
Knee: Represents pride and ego. Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.

L

Laryngitis: So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.
Left Side of Body: Represents receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother.
Leg: Carry us forward in life.
Liver: Seat of anger and primitive emotions. Chronic complaining. Justifying fault-finding to deceive yourself. Feeling bad.
Lockjaw: Anger. A desire to control. A refusal to express feelings.
Lump in the Throat: Fear. Not trusting the process of life.
Lung: The ability to take in life. Depression. Grief. Not feeling worthy of living life fully.
Lupus: A giving up. Better to die than stand up for one’s self. Anger and punishment.
Lymph Problems: A warning that the mind needs to be recentered on the essentials of life. Love and joy.

M

Malaria: Out of balance with nature and with life.
Menopause Problems: Fear of no longer being wanted. Fear of aging. Self-rejection. Not feeling good enough.
Menstrual Problems: Rejection of one’s femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the genitals are sinful or dirty.
Migraine Headaches: Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life. Sexual fears.
Miscarriage: Fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.
Mononucleosis: Anger at not receiving love and appreciation. No longer caring for the self.
Motion Sickness: Fear. Bondage. Feeling of being trapped.
Mouth: Represents taking in of new ideas and nourishment. Set opinions. Closed mind. Incapacity to take in new ideas.
Multiple Sclerosis: Mental hardness, hard-heartedness, iron will, inflexibility.
Muscles: Resistance to new experiences. Muscles represent our ability to move in life.
Muscular Dystrophy: “It’s not worth growing up.”

N

Nails: Represent protection. – Nail Biting: Frustration. Eating away at the self. Spite of a parent.
Narcolepsy: Can’t cope. Extreme fear. Wanting to get away from it all. Not wanting to be here.
Nausea: Fear. Rejecting an idea or experience.
Neck: Represents flexibility. The ability to see what’s back there. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness, inflexibility. Unbending stubbornness.
Nephritis: Overreaction to disappointment and failure.
Nerves: Represent communication. Receptive reporters.
Nervous Breakdown: Self-centeredness. Jamming the channels of communication.
Nervousness: Fear, anxiety, struggle, rushing. Not trusting the process of life.
Neuralgia: Punishment for guilt. Anguish over communication.
Nodules: Resentment and frustration and hurt ego over career.
Nose: Represents self-recognition. – Nose Bleeds:A need for recobnition. Feeling unnoticed. Crying for love. – Runny Nose: Asking for help. Inner crying. – Stuffy Nose: Not recognizing the self-worth.
Numbness: Withholding love and consideration. Going dead mentally.

O

Osteomyelitis: Anger and frustration at the very structure of life. Feeling unsupported.
Osteoporosis: Feeling there is no support left in life. Mental pressures and tightness. Muscles can’t stretch. Loss of mental mobility.
Ovaries: Represent points of creation. Creativity.

PQ

Pain: Guilt. Guilt always seeks punishment.
Paralysis: Paralysing thoughts. Getting stuck. Terror leading to escape from a situation or person.
Pancreas: Represents the sweetness of life.
Pancreatitis: Rejection. Anger and frustration because life seems to have lost its sweetness.
Parasites: Giving power to others, letting them take over and life off of you.
Parkinson’s Disease: Fear and an intense desire to control everything and everyone.
Peptic Ulcer: Fear. A belief that you are not good enough. Anxious to please.
Phlebitis: Anger and frustration. Blaming others for the limitation and lack of joy in life.
Pimples: Small outbursts of anger.
Pituitary Gland: Represents the control center.
Pneumonia: Desperate. Tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal.
Poison Ivy: Allergy Feeling defenseless and open to attack.
Polio: Paralysing jealousy. A desire to stop someone.
Premenstrual Syndrome: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.
Prostate: Represents the masculine principle. Mental fears weaken the masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.
Psoriasis: Fear of being hurt. Deadening the senses of the self. Refusing to accept responsibility for our own feelings.

R

Rash: Irritation over delays. Immature way to get attention.
Right Side of Body: Giving out, letting go, masculine energy, men, the father.
Ringworm: Allowing others to get under your skin. Not feeling good enough or clean enough.

S

Scabies: Infected thinking. Allowing others to get under your skin.
Sciatica: Being hypocritical. Fear of money and of the future.
Scleroderma: Protecting the self from life. Not trusting yourself to be there and to take care of yourself.
Scratches: Feeling life tears at you, that life is a rip off.
Senility: Returning to the so-called safety of childhood. Demanding care and attention. A form of control of those around you. Escapism.
Shin: Represents the standards of life. Breaking down ideals.
Shingles: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and tension. Too sensitive.
Sinus Problems: Irritation to one person, someone close.
Skin: Protects our individuality. Anxiety, fear. Old, buried things. I am being threatened.
Slipped Disc: Feeling totally unsupported by life. Indecisive.
Snoring: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns.
Solar Plexus: Gut reactions. Center of our intuitive power.
Sores: Unexpressed anger that settles in.
Spleen: Obsessions. Being obsessed about things.
Sprains: Anger and resistance. Not wanting to move in a certain direction in life.
Sterility: Fear and resistance to the process of life or not needing to go through the parenting experience.
Stiffness: Rigid, stiff thinking.
Stomach: Holds nourishment. Digests ideas. Dread. Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.
Stroke: Giving up. Resistance. Rather die than change. Rejection of life.

Stuttering: Insecurity. Lack of self-expression. Not being allowed to cry.
Sty: Looking at life through angry eyes. Angry at someone.
Suicidal thoughts: See life only in black and white. Refusal to see another way out.

T

Teeth: Represent decisions. – Teeth Problems: Longstanding indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. – Root Canal: Can’t bite into anything anymore. Root beliefs being destroyed. – Impacted Wisdom Teeth: Not giving yourself mental space to create a firm foundation.
Throat: Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity. – Throat Problems: The inability to speak up for one’s self. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change. – Sore throat: Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self.
Thrush: Anger over making the wrong decisions.
Thymus Gland: Feeling attacked by life. They are out to get me.
Thyroid Gland: Humiliation. I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn. – Hyperthyroid: Rage at being left out.
Tics, Twitches: Fear. A feeling of being watched by others.
Tinnitus or Ringing in the Ears: Refusal to listen. Not hearing the inner voice. Stubbornness.
Toes: Represent the minor details of the future.
Tongue: Represents the ability to taste the pleasures of life with joy.
Tonsillitis: Fear. Repressed emotions. Stifled creativity.
Tuberculosis: Wasting away from selfishness. Possessive. Cruel thoughts. Revenge.

U

Urinary infections: Pissed off, usually at the opposite sex or a lover. Blaming others.
Uterus: Represents the home of creativity.

V

Vaginitis: Anger at a mate. Sexual guilt. Punishing the self.
Varicose Veins: Standing in a situation you hate. Discouragement. Feeling over-worked and overburdened.
Vitiligo: Feeling completely outside of things. Not belonging. Not one of the group.
Vomiting: Violent rejection of ideas. Fear of the new.

WXYZ

Warts: Little expressions of hate. Belief in ugliness. – Plantar Warts: Anger at the very basis of your understanding. Spreading frustration about the future.
Wrist: Represents movement and ease.

List of symptoms, compliments Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

Religious or Spiritual Abuse Recovery

There is hope for victims of religious or spiritual abuse. It is not uncommon for someone who has suffered at the hands of a religious organization, leader, spiritual mentor or counselor to recoil from the event in a negative way.

recovery from religious or spiritual abuse

Of course this type of abuse can take many forms… The abuse could be psychological or emotional in nature or physiological including everything from physical abuse to (thankfully more rare) sexual indiscretions. Primary psychological assaults include the loss of individuality or self-worth in an attempt to promote single-mindedness and ease of group management, loss of personal rights, intimidation and dominance.

Spiritual and religious organizations’ leadership rosters are often infiltrated by sociopathic or psychopathic individuals who are driven to exercise control over others whom they see as lesser or subservient. In the event that you have had the unfortunate encounter with such an overbearing individual; you must know that he or she may not be an adequate representation of the group or organization that he or she represents.

What happens if you ask questions or question authority? In a spiritually abusive environment one may experience ridicule for asking questions and you may sense an increasingly hostile response with threats of excommunication or threats of eternal consequences.

An extremely exclusive organization may promote isolation from outsiders, cutting ties to non-believers promoting an “Us vs. Them,” attitude. Other signs you might be subjected to potential spiritual abuse may include multiple markers indicating levels of spirituality (and/or entitlement), penalties for non-compliance and financial exploitation.

You may have been the victim of religious or spiritual abuse if:

  1. A religious organization or spiritual leader
    1. Defrauds via deception
    2. Manipulates
    3. Exercises forms of mind control
    4. Emotionally exploits
    5. Psychologically abuses
  2. A spiritually-based group that
    1. Has a dual reality (insiders vs. outsiders)
    2. Secret rites or insider’s only, “truths”
    3. Critically denounces outsiders
    4. Expresses dire consequences for non-members
    5. Enforces compliance
  3. An organization that
    1. Denounces criticism
    2. Maintains a false public image
    3. Requires donation of one’s personal belongings
    4. Claims to have ultimate “enlightenment”
    5. Practices an elitist perspective

risk of spiritual exploitation

Protecting one’s self from dangerous, compromising or litigious circumstances is completely normal and necessary for self preservation, yet our defensive response is in the form of overcompensation. It’s not uncommon for a victim of this kind of abuse to turn their backs totally on all things of a spiritual nature.

Believing in a higher power can be one of the most empowering forces in your life; to completely reject the entire concept based on a single episodic experience, could have a devastating effect one’s overall quality of life.

Regardless of the excessive intensity of your experience, you can be among the many survivors of religious or spiritual abuse, with your faith firmly intact. Although you may have isolated yourself from all things spiritual in order to put a stop to the abuse, you can reclaim your spirituality in a positive and life-affirming way.

Whether you are struggling with these issues from occurrences of this kind of abuse in the past, or if you are concerned about victimization that may be taking place in the present, there is hope for you to realize a continued spiritual life, free from bondage or pain as a result of the person(s), group or organization who may have, or may be exploiting you, either indirectly or maliciously.

Unresolved spiritual abuse can have continued negative impact on one’s life harboring resentment, lack of trust, difficulty in inter-personal relationships; blocking personal achievement, abundance, happiness and preventing you from achieving your highest and best.

You can heal from your abusive past so that you can go on with your life no longer being a victim. Take charge of your life, embrace your spiritual healing and don’t let this experience from experiencing all the best things this life has to offer and start your healing process today.

As you peel back the layers of your experience, you may discover this has prepared you for your ability to reach out to other victims as a mentor to help them deal with the same challenges you have survived.

Discover and Energize Your Innate Gifts

Everyone comes to this planet with a unique set of gifts or innate abilities to share with other inhabitants. The most successful people in the world know what their life’s message is and utilizing their special gifts make a huge contribution to society, humanity and/or the overall outlook of the earth.

Many adults when questioned about what their gifts, innate abilities, or life’s message is respond with something, like, “That’s not realistic,” or some other comment discounting the thought that they may have a higher purpose.

That programmed response could be the result of possibly the biggest conspiracy of our age.

Discovering and embracing your innate gifts

Many years of working with people to discover and embrace their gifts and life’s message has proven time and time again that early in a child’s youth, every child is in tune with their gifts and message.

Every once and a while you see a youth who is totally absorbed by their innate abilities, these are the young prodigies. They are revered, yet rare; yet every child is born a prodigy.

The conspiracy lies within our societal programming. In an effort to have a reasonable amount of control of the masses, those who maintain our, “safety and security,” have built into the structure of our society a strict set of checks and balances to ensure their ability to exercise this control.

So, we have public schools, and as our children grow we tell them that their dreams are folly as we try to replace those dreams with more, “realistic,” or acceptable aspirations, i.e., finish high school, go to college and get a good job with benefits. And that is exactly what the machine desires and needs; a majority of mindless parts that exist for the running (or benefit) of the machine.

Granted this analogy may appear to be an exaggeration, nonetheless, you know in your heart of hearts that you were meant for more than this. Something inside you knows there must be more to life than having a nice car, house with a picket fence, a huge cable/internet package, designer clothing and money (or credit) to spend on food and toys. That feeling that there’s something more is your innate gifts crying to be released.

fulfilling your lifes purpose leads to love peace joy happiness

For those I work with to get their gifts, talents and message(s) in balance with their physical reality are geared up for a significant life change. Discovery is just the first part of the task at hand.

The next step is finding ways to integrate your inner-self with your outer-self (the physical reality that everyone else now accepts as being, “you”).

Fortunate for society, not everyone seeks to fulfill their life’s purpose or dreams; only the select few who rise above the masses in an effort to achieve their highest and best and make the world a better place. Because if the masses were to capture this level of life congruency, we would be surrounded by the magic of success, abundance and our societal structure would disintegrate, as the free-thinking people began to change the world to fit their new realities.

You can enjoy extreme levels of peace, joy, happiness and fulfillment from being united with your life’s purpose; leading to a new, expanded, productive life filled with health, wellness, love, compassion and a brighter future. You, will begin to see all the issues in your life will begin to resolve themselves as you attune your life with your unique calling.

Become the master of your own destiny, transform your life, fulfill your life’s purpose and achieve your highest and best by harnessing your innate gifts.