Broken Heart

What can you do when someone breaks your heart?

broken heart when someone breaks your heart

When it comes down to it, you only have two choices: to try to salvage the relationship (or what’s left of it) or to walk away from it altogether.

The fact of the matter is that people in relationships do not always have the best integrity. They keep secrets, fail to disclose specific details about things – including their true feelings – and misrepresent their level of commitment and a host of other lies and deceit.

Two people, like that, are a perfect match for each other. The problems arise when you have one integrous person, and one who is not, in the same relationship. At some point the relationship will experience a great deal of conflict and some of the incongruency will be revealed, leaving the other feeling betrayed and suffering from a broken heart.

When it becomes apparent that you appear to be the victim of unrequited love, you find yourself looking at all the clues that you overlooked over the term of the relationship. Those little inconsistencies bear more and more weight in retrospect, and it’s easy to blame yourself, like, “Why didn’t I pay more attention to that when it happened?”

The reason is because you wanted to believe the love that you had for the other person was being returned in kind. You projected your love on the other person, when in reality he or she was unable to do so.

Why? Because of all the benefits that come from loving and being loved. We project our lovingness onto them because receiving (or believing that we are receiving) the love we are giving gives us the benefits of a feeling of belonging and being treasured which actually makes us healthier and happier enabling us to live longer, with higher quality of life.

Truth be told, most (if not all) participants in a romantic relationship (even the most integrous and loving ones) maintain some level of deceit. It’s as though there is a righteous kind of deceit that has no intended malice, but is an effort to honor the feelings of the other person. In fact, most successful relationships are comprised of a complicated blend of honor and well-intended deception.

In this respect, it’s easy to say, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Because even though you may have loved the other person with all your heart, chances are you, too, have not been completely honest and open. If you have… it is somewhat more tragic, nonetheless, you’re still at the same juncture.

If the other person has left, there is little you can do but to let them go.

There is a delicate thread that separates seeking reconciliation and obsessive stalking (which there are laws against that could carry legal ramifications including jail time).

If you are left alone, be mindful that true love is still seeking you (though you may not feel like it at the moment) and you will be rewarded for your diligence, if you become the love that you seek.

In the event the former lover returns in an attempt to re-establish their romantic relationship with you, proceed with caution.

Is it possible to establish trust again with someone who has betrayed you?

See: Second Chances

Ultimate Pet Rescue

Saving Dogs and Cats for Pet Therapy

There is no doubt shut-ins, single people living alone, persons in advance age and those suffering from declining health conditions all benefit from the unconditional love from a dog or cat.

Although having a pet is like having another family member (which is a good thing). I know some people, when finances are running thin, the pets come first; the special food, veterinary services or whatever the pet needs for a good quality of life takes precedence. Not unlike the care and consideration one would have for ones own offspring. Feed the kids (and/or animals) the good stuff and I will sacrifice and eat from the dollar menu, when times are tough.

Not being able to financially take on and meet the needs of having a pet as a companion can prevent one from embracing the idea of adding a dog or a cat to their home.

While millions of perspective homes are available and human hearts yearn for having a pet as a companion, millions of dogs and cats are euthanized because we don’t have the resources available to house them and care for them while waiting for someone to adopt them.

Ultimate pet rescue matching at risk dogs and cats with pet parents in need

Recognizing the obvious connection between an abundance of available pets and the millions of people who could benefit immensely from adopting them, leads me to believe that the time has come for

Ultimate Pet Rescue

Why not rescue the animals on death row and the humans who would enjoy a higher quality of life with them?

I would love to see Ultimate Pet Rescue (UPR) buses traveling around cities all over the world.

The UPR buses would be modified and redesigned; removing seats and replacing them with pet transport cages. Busses would travel weekly, beginning their journey by loading up dogs and cats from death row onto the busses.

The busses would travel to locations where potential recipients are located. Good matches would be found for both pet and new pet parent.

The non-profit UPR organization would provide food and veterinary care to assure the quality of life for the pet, without burdening the pet parent’s resources.

Make the World a Better Place Challenge

This basic concept is ripe for harvesting today.

You can help to make the world a better place by initiating the Ultimate Pet Rescue program today.

I would do it myself, but my plate is too full at the moment and this action must be taken at this time as the lives of so many people and pets are at stake.

I am sure that the right person who has been called to accept this mission is reading these words, right now.

You are checking to see if ultimatepetrescue dot com dot net and dot org are available (and they are at the time of the publication of this post) and you are ready to take action.

And I will support your efforts to make the world a better place by answering the call.

God bless you for all that you do.

UPDATE

Once you have taken action and are ready to announce the Ultimate Pet Rescue to the world, let me know.

I will help you make your announcement and post an update to this post about your efforts.

(check back for updates)

Connecting with Friends

Ever notice how friends seem to come and go throughout your life, yet others… Appear and reappear at various intervals… and when you get together it’s as if no time has passed as you slip right into the loving and caring relationship where you last left off?

That’s the sign of a true friend

People don’t seem to create the same kind of lasting bonds as they used to.

What’s social media got to do with it?

Social media is dual sided

Sure, it can instantly connect us to family, friends, acquaintances, business associates and people from our past. In regards to connecting in this fashion, the medium is priceless. I even use it to be engaged in the lives of my family and kids, somewhat closing the gap of separation by geography.

The electronic medium is instant – and delayed – all at the same time. Someone can post something in real time, and the viewer can view and/or comment at a time that is convenient.

In these respects social media is a huge upgrade to our lives on planet earth.

On the other hand it leads to deterioration in the level of intimacy in social relationships.

Friendships are more superficial, as there is less one-on-one face-to-face intimate communication.

Plus, there is a technological separation – a barrier – which cannot be bridged by social media. It is easier for me to misrepresent, cover-up, be dishonest or lie via social media to my “friends.”

There is less opportunity to open-up, trust and remain unfiltered in true heart-to-heart communication. Which turns out to create a greater need for counseling, coaching and consulting; and even these areas are beginning to move from offices to streaming via electronic mediums.

Making Real Friends

Childhood friends can form meaningful deep friendship for life

My earliest friendships date back to my childhood; from frolicking and playing (Dog-pile!) with my young friends, out in the open, walking the streets, hiking trails, splashing in streams, playing in the woods… Having fun and exploring; bonding, without supervision, without fear (except the fear of getting in trouble for not honoring the rule of heading for home when the street lights turned on).

Other friendships were forged in between classes from grade school through college. While in-person training is still the accepted model in public schools, there is a growing trend amongst greater education (starting to infiltrate high school) to telecommute or attend via Internet. Not having downtime in between classes, does not allow potential for developing a deep level friendship.

Take a Look Around

The next time you go out to a night club, restaurant – or even a college cafeteria – and take a look around… Even in these public social environments, more and more people are on their phones and tablets, connecting with others, even each other. Yes, I witnessed (and you may, too):

Two men sitting at the bar communicating with each other via text and over social media.

I realize I’m sounding like an “old person” right about now, because the times they are a changing.

The changes have me concerned about the future.

From this perspective, I see the world moving to a place where meaningful relationships are much less meaningful and are superseded by a new model of social connection that – while very connected – is completely disconnected.

How will this affect the future?

Will our children’s children be less likely to have meaningful connections (true friends) with other individuals?
Will there be a growing trend for us to further imprison ourselves, crawling deeper into our homes and only connect electronically with the outside world?

I may only have a handful of true friends – the ones who I have forged impenetrable relationships with, standing the test of time – but they are by far among the most treasured the most meaningful components of a life that would otherwise be solitary, even though I am surrounded by thousands of people. I salute each and every one of you with an enthusiastic

I love you, man!

Now, I’m going to go check to see how liked I am by counting my Facebook friends… 🙂

 

I Found My Soul Mate!

Ever since I was a little tyke, I fantasized about one day finding my one true love and living happily ever after.

Then all my dreams came true; I was never so thrilled as to have found the woman of my dreams right after high school, fell deeply in love, shouted from the rooftops, “I found my soul mate!”

I found my soul mate

I got married, raised a family and lived happily ever after. (That is, if you can define “ever after” as being a limited amount of time.)

Even though I was armed in relationship training – and helped others find ways to prolong their relationships – I discovered individuals participate in relationships for different reasons (want more on those details? Don’t hesitate to ask).

While we might desire to find our soul mate, it appears the soul mate relationship is transient.

It’s one thing to enter a full-on relationship with the first pretty gal or handsome fella to pay attention to you, but if you’ve exerted a great deal of effort to find “the one,” you’d think it reasonable to expect a higher degree of relationship longevity.

As I witnessed the relationships of others struggle, change and disintegrate, I began to wonder why?

Even I, the devout love seeker and purveyor of love, could not seem to sustain a life-long relationship.

Is it possible to find the perfect person to live out the rest of your days with?

The answer must be, “yes,” because other people do it; or do they?

Certainly there are examples of relationships that are sustained over a lifetime… at what cost?

If you are in a position to allow the participants to be open and honest about their relationship, separately and together, you may discover most of them are not as lovely as they appear to be on the surface.

I reasoned there are different kinds of soul mates who make appearances throughout your life’s journey. Some are not going to play the “mate” part very long because it is their job to affect the growth and expansion of your “soul.”

Granted, it can take some time and effort to first imagine, and then realize, the blessing in each wild and crazy relationship entanglement; but it is there.

Friedrich Nietzsche blessed our vernacular with words that have become commonplace, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” These words ring true, unless you choose to let whatever-it-is destroy you, as you give up, allow yourself to deteriorate and finally cease to be.

You Choose

Every action has a reaction, but you get to determine in which direction the energy will flow – whether positive or negative – the choice is yours.

You Change

You also have the opportunity – at any given point in time – to change.

If the direction that you originally recoiled was southerly, toward the negative… that’s okay.

“I will never fall in love again.”

You can – now, whenever you are ready or now – change your direction to your northern-bound more positive destination.

“I am ready for the best love ever.”

Life is a journey; and exciting plethora of emotional experiences all designed to allow us to grow into the highest and best version of ourselves.

Is it hard?

Sometimes it is hard – and you may not be able to see it, in the tragedy of the moment – but as you review the tapes of the game (yes, this is a sports reference) you will discover how each misstep helped to educate you, giving you the opportunity to hone your skills and make you better (even better, thanks to slow motion and frame-by-frame review).

Is it worth it?

Nothing else is.
Are you ready to receive your soul mate now?

I believe You Can Get What You Want

Quit Now Don’t Quit

Most people have had a dream, maybe even pursued it or gave-it-a-go once… The virgin attempt did not go as planned, so they gave up; quit.

One might resign one’s self to the belief that some people were just destined to be pawns in the game of life, thinking

“If I thought for a moment that I might have been beckoned by a higher calling, answered the call, and failed; why wouldn’t I conclude that I was not one of the chosen ones and just give up?”

Dont quit

Do you think Paul M. Zoll just woke up in the middle of the night with an idea of building a mechanism that you could surgically implant into a human body that would shock the heart into beating properly when necessary churned out a working model on the first attempt?

How many attempts do you think it took Percy Spencer to come up with a machine that would heat your food using microwaves?

What if Wilbur & Orville Wright had given up the first time they crawled out of the wreckage of their first attempt at flight?

What if Josephine Cochrane quit after her first attempt to create a device that would free housewives from having to wash dishes in the sink failed?

What if Les Paul would have given up when his first experiment at trying to create guitar that could be amplified without a microphone went up in smoke?

I can tell you the answer to what if.

If these individuals would not have answered the call to see their vision come to life, and pursued it with such dedication to not let countless failures dissuade them…

Someone else would do it.

When an idea desires to be born into our reality, nothing can stand in its way. The idea appears in the minds of many individuals at the same time… Many people can participate in the birthing process… and it can go through many stages before someone answers the call and is willing to accept the commitment to endure the birthing pangs that will bring it to life.

Sometimes, the idea is born as a futuristic story, like the nonsensical science fiction which has become present day science. Things that could not have been rationally conceived of, were making themselves known via minds that could do nothing more than document their visions in fictitious stories.

When laser technology was making itself known, Arthur L. Schawlow accepted the challenge as did Gordon Gould and Charles Hard Townes, all at the same time.

How many times have you (or someone you know) come up with an original idea… thought it was a good one… only to see it appear in the marketplace, with no credit to you (or the person that you know who had the idea)?

That’s a perfect example of how the universe evolves.

Have you been given a vision that yearns to come forth?
Did you try previously and fail?
Is your idea still waiting, or have you been given a new one?

Fear of failure is the mechanism, more often than not, keeping us from wanting to accept the call.

Plus, there’s no real responsibility; if I don’t accept the call, it will just go to someone else. It’s not like the world will suffer due to my reticence.

Here’s the rub:

You have come to this world for a reason.

You have a special purpose.

Are you ready to live the life you were born to live, contributing your innate skills and talents to the larger community, proclaiming your message to the world?

Are you a part of the growing populace awakening to answer the call?

Isn’t now the right time to start singing your song?

What You See is What You Get

Two people look at the same scene, one person sees one thing, the other sees something similar but completely different.

What you see is what you get see the best feel good

This has always bothered me somewhat, especially in the light of my law enforcement experience, when the report representing what someone has seen determines a person’s future.

It’s also disconcerting when someone says “I’ll believe it when I see it with my own eyes.”

More and more I’m thinking that our sight is not all its cracked up to be.

If you add the audio portion, certainly that can add a more credible view… Then, again, someone can say a sequence of words, and I hear something quite different from what the speaker spoke, even though what I heard was a correct representation of the actual words.

I’ve had people thank me following a talk, for specific insights that they received from my presentation. I’m surprised when they echo my words back to me, and the impactful message that they received, was nowhere to be found in my notes or presentation.

Then, I hear people say, “Trust your feelings,” which I encourage people to trust, possibly even more than what they see. Yet, for me, my feelings often betray me, not correctly representing the facts.

It’s as though truly objective perception is impossible from within.

Any single witness may be better than no witness at all but with many witnesses (maybe a hundred) one might be able to extract a reasonable representation of an event… but then again, what is the intention of those reporting the incident?

The group, entity or individual(s) collecting the various reports and extrapolating the facts may have a particular expected outcome that skews the end result.

Shifting Perception

If you can conclude that anything has an incomprehensible number of various interpretations, is it reasonable to assume that you – and any point in time and space – can choose to see anything from a different perspective?

How to Shift Your Perception

Using your imagination, you can change your perspective by putting yourself inside the mind and body of the other person. What must it be like for them in that moment? Can you imagine (or maybe even feel) how they are feeling?

Shifting my view to an aerial perspective is often helpful, to imagine what this incident would look like from without myself, like from the view of an overhead news helicopter.

When Should You Initiate the Shift?

Your feelings can alert you that a change of perspective is in order. Ask yourself,

How am I feeling?

If you are not feeling good, it is likely the time for a change of perspective.

Feel good see the best perspective good feelings

Feeling good could very well be the secret to continued enthusiasm, success and bliss in life.

Isn’t it true, when you feel good, you feel as though you’re on the top of the world, you feel good; and feeling good attracts more feeling good.

How good can you feel?

If what you see is what you get, then choose to change what you see.

Accept this challenge:

Choose to find new ways to see only the best, in ways that make you feel good, and let those good feelings grow exponentially.

Feel Good

I see you feeling so good, so much better than you’ve ever felt before.

How much better does it get?

You tell me

Free Full Length YouTube Video 2 Hours

Let’s take a look at your life. Let’s see what it looks like if you reduce it to a 2 hour video on YouTube…

Free full length youtube video 2 hours you are the star best movie ever

I find it so interesting in hearing clients’ responses to:

If you could live this life anyway that you want
And could reduce it to a 2 hour YouTube Video
What would your life’s movie look like?

Granted, I don’t propose this idea to everyone that I meet. I am inspired to suggest this process when someone has mentioned dissatisfaction with this life, or has intimated that this life is just too hard.

One of the YouTube Videos that comes to mind:

I win $150 Million in the lottery. Buy a large house on 40 acres with my own private lake, surrounded by great walls with a huge garage filled with all my favorite automobiles, a plush indoor theater, where I can watch TV – all the channels throughout the whole world 24/7 if I want – or films on demand all on the biggest screen ever. All my meals – anything I want, anytime I want – delivered any time. All my bills are automatically paid, and I don’t have to deal with people. I can enjoy my life and do whatever I want whenever I want. And if there are people outside the walls clamoring for my money; too bad, they have to win their own lottery.

I asked, “What about your family?”
Response: “What about them?”
“Okay,” I queried, “What about love?”
Response: “No such thing. You can’t trust anyone, and I don’t need anyone.”

Well, there you have it.

And you might find it as surprising that I do, when I discover that most of the YouTube Videos that someone would reduce their perfect life to, would undoubtedly be

The Worst
Most Boring
Movie Ever

Who would even want to watch such a film?

Two hours of watching a film, like that, would not be far from brutal torture, and I’m pretty sure, that even though people might click on the YouTube Video to voyeuristically tune-in to see what someone’s life looks like, I doubt anyone would want to watch such a film for the whole two hours.

I’d click it off, and look for something a little more entertaining.

The greatest stories – the best movies – are ones full of excitement, ups and downs, unexpected twists and turns, a good soundtrack, special effects and good editing.

When you’ve watched a film that takes you on a journey through all your emotions – where you identify with the hero or heroine, having tearful empathy in the hard times and cheering joyously in the good times – after two hours, you’re fulfilled, your soft drink and popcorn tub are empty, and you’re satiated, a clear indication of the best stories.

Maybe, you want to see what happens next, asking:

Is there going to be a sequel?

My life has been the most amazing journey and I wouldn’t change one scene.

My wish for you, is that you can enjoy your life’s film as much (or more, if that’s possible) as I do mine.

The good news:
When something happens unexpectedly
I look off-screen and ask,
Who writes this stuff?

As I continue to ad-lib and play-out the scene to see what the director has in mind.

I didn’t have the chance to read ahead in the script, but who knows? Maybe this scene will be one of the best performances in the final cut.

Or it could end up on the cutting room floor, or at viewable in the DVD extras as outtakes. Who knows?

All I know, is that I am having so much fun and feel so blessed to be in the cast of – what I believe is – the best film ever.

Vive la Resistance

When you’re making the transition from your complacent life to your enlightened journey, you will begin to notice (either directly or indirectly) resistance.

Vive la resistance resist the resistance and continue to evolve

The resistance will come from without; other people will try to talk you out of your decision to forge your own path or ridicule you for doing so, even “coincidental” circumstances will create even more resistance, like thunderstorms, flooding, washouts, detours, flat tires, delayed flights or any other combination of distractions to disrupt your progress.

Resistance will come from within; you will begin to second-guess your decision to move forward and away from the mob, you will have thoughts of unworthiness, self-doubt, you will ask yourself, “Am I being selfish?” All due to your programming that started at birth to make you feel the best that you can do is to settle for upper middle class mediocrity.

There is an underlying baseline train of thought designed to keep us (the greater human race) minimalized and manageable. To have to deal with a world full of enlightened (and powerful) individuals would be impossible; how could a group of people ever be able to control such a planet?

These subtle (or not so subtle) forms of resistance are present to prevent you from allowing your body, mind and soul from evolving into your higher form of conscious human being. The tug that you feel in your heart and spirit is you being called forth by everything that is.

Something inside you tells you that this is true; you know there has to be more to this life than what you’ve accepted ‘til this point and there is a yearning to realize the “something more” in your life…. And there is so much more…

Still, things pop-up; you think, “I’m on this amazing journey… It should be easier.”

There is a way that you can circumvent the resistance.

Opt Out of the Resistance

You only have to choose to opt out of the resistance and embrace the change that awaits you. To effectively opt-out, it requires two parts.

#1 Decide to Opt Out

You must have made the conscious decision to not participate in the resistance and the drama associated with it. And I find it is helpful to create a trigger to mark the spot where you recognize the resistance and create a stopping point; in effect, drawing a line in the sane.

Your trigger could be anything you want. For me, I tap on my right temple (that area to the side of my right eye) or my wrist (if I feel the need to be more discrete) as I think (or say out loud, if I am in private), “Stop!” I recognize the resistance and I refuse to participate.

#2 Embrace the Change

A little practice may be appropriate at first, but it will get easier as you perform the embrace the change routine.

Resistance is frustrating and can engage all kinds of emotions running the gamut, everything from fear and anger to sadness and self-loathing. Some more stealth forms of resistance may recruit good feelings, like gleeful excitement, happiness and a sense of calm, making it more difficult for demarcation.

After, you’ve recognized it and put it on notice, the next step is to change it, love it, enjoy it and keep moving.

For instance, if you are on your way to a meeting that is part of your individual plan to move forward, and you get a flat tire on the highway. This is unexpected. You did not include time for a tire change in your travel plans. You may be mad, upset or feel like crying to the sky, “Why!?”

In that moment when you feel the rub, tap your temple (or whatever your trigger is) and shout (aloud or not), “Stop!” (#1)

Then change it; tell yourself a positive version of the story from a different perspective, like, “Wow, even though this looks bad, inconvenient and is holding me up, this… Yes, even this, flat tire is for my highest and best.”

Then continue, “I know the resistance meant this to discourage me, to keep me from my evolution, but it is actually for my good because there me an accident up the road that I am not involved in.” And keep stretching the idea positively forward until you’re actually grateful and happy about the mishap…

Then continue onto your scheduled if you make it to the meeting late, don’t beat yourself up about it. You looked adversity straight in the eye, resisted the resistance and continued to evolve on your own terms. You emerged victorious.

Vive la resistance!

Mothers Are the Gateway to Life

Where would we be without them?

There’s no doubt (unless you crawled out of an extra-terrestrial spaceship, and even then) you wouldn’t be reading these words, right now, if you didn’t have a mother.

Loving Mothers every day mothers are the gateway to life

I am so impressed with the role of the woman in the creation of life and propagation of the human race, that when I heard that in Europe men could be impregnated, carry babies to term and deliver via cesarean section in 1994 in the tabloids, I extended a certain degree of effort to research the idea with the intent of participating myself.

It turns out the tabloids used creative license, based on actual scientific reports, peer reviewed medical documents and urban myth. In fact, though impregnating a man is theoretically and scientifically possible, the risk to the man and the baby is too great at this point in time to actually go forward with a live experiment.

This is not to say, within the next 20 years, that it may be possible. Since 1994, I resolved my issues and am fairly certain that if I have the opportunity in 2036, I will not be tempted to try it.

You Can Pick Your Nose
But You Can’t Pick Your Mother

You can pick your nose but you cant pick your mother

Some people may not know the identity of their mother (or father, and this can be frustrating when searching for one’s identity and development of one’s self along our life’s journey), but most of us do.

Even Louise Brown (the first “test tube baby”) born July 25, 1978 (about the same time we were told to imagine that a man could fly via Superman: The Movie), owes her life to her mother, Lesley Brown (who passed four years ago).

Though it’s a cute, childlike refrain (you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your mother), allow yourself to consider that you deliberately did select your mother before you started your journey to this planet. If that’s the case, you really did pick your mother.

There is no doubt in my mind that I absolutely chose my mother to be my maternal parent and childhood best friend. She was young, full of life and we grew up together. She encouraged me to be and do anything that crossed my mind – and largely due to her urging me to tray anything – it did (with varying degrees of success).

I owe not only my biological life, but the wildly amazing life that I have lived and continue to enthusiastically enjoy, to her. None of this would have been possible without her. And I am so grateful for every moment… and I couldn’t have done it without her.

Love Your Mother

I see clients who struggle with issues that stem from unresolved issues with their mother, and though I do not go there, many therapists dealing with clients suffering from psychological stress look first at the relationship between the patient and his or her mother.

Regardless, once the chasm (if there was one) is able to be traversed by building a bridge, it is amazing how lives begin to fall into a sense of harmony with the world.

Mothers are the most important (and influential) force on this planet.

If you don’t love your mother with all your heart… build a bridge… find a way…

A Mother’s Love Never Ceases

If your mother has passed, she is loving you 24/7 (even if you don’t know who she is). She is right there.

Even if she wasn’t the best mother on this side, once she transitions to the other, she understands more (not being restricted by her focus on the physical world) and loves you more thoroughly and purely than possible while she was here.

So, as you remember and honor her today; she is aware of it and loving you in return.

To all mothers, here and beyond

We love you with all our hearts

And are grateful for everything you have given us.

I love you, Mom.

 

Are You a Victim of Spiritual Abuse?

In my practice, I meet many different kinds of people. Certain people are attracted to me because of my skill of dealing with people who have been victims of spiritual abuse. It is possible that my experience in the God business, as well as my continued spiritual growth is appealing to people along with my success in working with people who felt as though they were dealing with issues of spiritual abuse.

spiritual abuse

Based on my experience, one could conclude that there is no one way to define, “spiritual abuse,” as it takes on such a wide spectrum of issues. Without a clear definition, only the individuals can correctly diagnose themselves as suffering from spiritual abuse.

You know if you’ve been a victim of spiritual abuse

You probably have the idea that spiritual abuse comes from religious environments, like churches – though this is the most prevalent source – you might be surprised to find that victims of spiritual abuse come from all walks of life, both religious and non-religious.

Spiritual abuse can come from religious organizations, clergy, parents and other family members, husbands and/or wives, friends, neighbors, employers, counselors, therapists, doctors and coaches, just to name a few…

The implication is that pretty much anyone could be the source the source of spiritual abuse; not to mention the invisible spiritual abuse that comes from deep within (or without) one’s self.

This kind of abuse (like any kind of abuse) can show up in someone’s character in what would be perceived as negative (or abrasive) attributes, though this appears without cognitive effort from the individual who suffered the abuse.

If left buried and untreated, it will spread from an attitudinal presupposition to other areas of life, affecting relationships within one’s inner circle and lead to deterioration of health, leading to the spreading of disease, premature aging and death.

A true zest for life, happiness and joy can be more difficult to grasp while feeling oppressed by spiritual abuse. The happiest and most effective people on the planet have a pleasant balance between the things of this earth and those of the beyond (and this can take an unlimited variety of styles and colors).

There is no right way – and there is no wrong way – for you to find a healthy spiritual expression; and this can have a completely new source that has not remotely connected to the type and style of spiritual expression that may have been the source of the abuse.

I am not saying that people without any spiritual component cannot find happiness; I am just saying that – statistically – those who possess a healthy spiritual perspective (doesn’t have to be religious) are far more successful and happy.

Hidden Abuse

Spiritual abuse is more a taboo subject than sexual abuse because there is far more training focused on sexual abuse in current therapeutic curriculum. It is important to find a counselor or coach who is open-minded,non judgmental and will not further abuse the victim even more.

Treating Spiritual Abuse Can Be Spiritually Abusive

This is where the victim needs to get a grip on their own personal spiritual perspective; and feel free to defend it fervently while moving forward. Everyone will have suggestions, advice and prescriptions to help you discover and treat your underlying spiritual issues.

Only You are Responsible for Your Own Spirituality

Take responsibility for your own spiritual growth a pursuit. Don’t let anyone else tell you what is best for you. Let them listen and give you ideas, then you decide what to do with the information. Stay true to you – and be willing to change – when it serves you and feels good to you.

It’s a Process

Simply know – and resolve to be okay with – the idea that your spiritual journey is a process. There is no time limit, nor is there any limit to the variety of spiritual expression that is available to you.

Decide what is acceptable and good for you each day and be open to allowing other expressions to be revealed to you on your journey. Something that may not resonate with you today, may seem more like a more viable option in the light of a new day, as you continue to heal and grow.