Author: davidmastersadmin

How to Know If You Can Trust Someone

Is He or She Trustworthy?

How to know if you can trust someone or, not? Is he or she trustworthy?

If you pay attention you can usually tell if someone is worthy of your trust early on. People are generally fairly transparent unless they have a form of psychopathy or are a highly trained government spy.

Early on, people give us clear signals which could alert us to whether they can be trusted, or not, though in most cases we overlook the warning signs because we desire to seek out and believe the best in people, especially those we may have the potential of developing a relationship with.

First off, you feel comfortable about the idea of trusting them. Now this may be a false positive, but it is rarely a false negative. If your first impression of a person is that they appear to be trustworthy, more often than not you will be right. On the other hand, if your first impression of someone is that they cannot be trusted, you’re probably right.

Observing how a person acts and reacts will help to give you more supportive information as to whether someone can be trusted, or not, such as do they appear to trust others, or are they more suspicious of others. There’s a pretty good chance, if they are unable to trust others, it is probably because they know they themselves cannot be trusted. If you can’t trust yourself, how can you trust someone else? An early indicator might be impulsivity. If they can’t trust themselves, their ability to control their own actions, then there’s a good chance your faith or trust in them may be misguided. People who are worthy of your trust are usually able to demonstrate an adequate level of self-control.

Trustworthy people are more compassionate and willing to compromise for the greater good, while someone who is unwilling to compromise might not be able to be trusted to do the right thing. These observations can be noted on the smallest scale and extrapolated out to the more important things of life. For instance, if you have an impromptu meeting after work with co-workers about a particular project and you invite the new hire along, if he or she declines the invitation because he or she is tired, you can reasonably expect that this person will opt out of more important obligations if they are not feeling up to it. Which in itself is not a bad thing, but what if you’re depending on this person to follow through on something of great importance? You will look back on this early warning sign, slap your forehead and say, “I knew it.”

If you can’t trust someone with the smaller details, then you probably can’t trust them with the big ones. If someone is not telling the truth about how long they took for a coffee break, or lie about where they went on their lunch break, even though these may seem inconsequential, they are early warning signs of someone who is comfortable with not telling the truth. Even though they might be white lies or they might have purposefully withheld particular details which may not be cause for alarm, these can be indications that trouble may be brewing down the line when the stakes are much higher. If someone can be trusted with small, inconsequential details, then there’s a good chance they can be trusted with more important details.

Making excuses, justifying their missteps, or blaming others could be early indications that someone can’t be trusted, for trustworthy individuals are far more likely to take full responsibility for their actions. You know what to expect from someone who can be trusted. If they say they are going to do something, they do it. If they give you a head’s up that they might not be able to perform to an expected level, and they do not, they were honest and forthright, giving you fair warning. While untrustworthy individuals are more likely to make promises knowing they are unlikely (if not unable) to keep them, then make excuses or blame someone or something else for their inability to follow through with their commitment(s).

The only real way to know if you can trust someone, or not, is to trust them with something small at first. Then sit back and see what happens. If they prove that they can be trusted with this, then you can move on to other, more important issues. Sometimes trusting someone allows them to raise their own personal bar of integrity, answering the call with trustworthiness. Giving them the opportunity to show themselves as trustworthy might actually make them worthier of your trust in him or her.

Happiness vs Joy

Wait-a-minute, Happiness vs Joy? Aren’t they the same thing?

Vibrationally, happiness and joy are so similar you can hardly tell them apart, somewhere around the mid-500 range. We get them confused because they feel the same, though they are quite different.

Happiness

Happiness is a feeling you feel passively, like if you think of holding an adorable new baby who is fascinated with your face, with its firm grip around your finger, or being in a room full of happy, celebratory children (who are not out of control), going to a (non-offensive) comedy show, or concert.

All these things (or whatever the equivalent is for you) make us feel happy by the brain’s administering the release of the happy hormones, oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. Who wouldn’t be happy after being injected with this happiness cocktail.

Happiness comes from external sources, whether they are imagined, witnessed live, or self-inflicted. That is to say, you can visualize something in your mind that you have witnessed live and still release the same happy hormones, you can watch a movie, post on social media, self-administer some substance, or otherwise trick your brain into releasing them.

However, you feel happy, it’s all good because knowing how to be happy and achieving the state of happiness is an awesome state of mind and it is so much better than not being happy at all. Happiness is a relatively easy state of mind to achieve if you want to feel better.

Good thing for us mere mortals, we can find ways to get ourselves into this happy state, particularly if we’re not feeling happy, or finding it difficult to find any happiness at all. We know there are things we can do to get a shot of the good stuff.

Joy

Then, there is joy, which releases the same hormonal cocktail, but it has a decidedly different feature of having an active component, which happiness doesn’t require.

Enjoying something is not a passive observance, it is an active participation, it includes the action of doing something to achieve the state of joy. For instance, for artist-types, getting lost in the creation process sustains the state of joy. For the sports enthusiasts, actually playing a round of golf, or taking a hike, or a little volleyball on the beach, whatever your thing is, doing it takes you to that place of joy.

For those with a motherly instinct (even if you’re a man), actually holding and interacting with a baby takes you to joy, while merely thinking about it makes you happy.

To enjoy something comes from within, the feeling in your gut which vibrates throughout your whole being when you are actively engaged in doing something you love to do. Joy is seated in your heart and lights a fire that spreads throughout your entire system.

The joy of enjoyment has a more self-sustaining mechanism due to having the activity associated with many psychological and physiological components. The more active and focused your various skills and attention is, the more sustained the state is, as well as more easily and effectively triggered via recall.

For instance, happiness will take a bit of imagination to re-establish the state and release the hormones, while recalling a joyous activity can trigger the release at the mere mention or thought of it.

Both happiness and joy are essential to achieving your highest and best while experiencing all the good things this life has to offer. Living a better life will have you experiencing both enjoying activities more as well as being happier most of the time.

Here’s to more happiness and joy for you,

-Amen.

Alternative Medicine and Natural Remedies

I know this is a tender subject. When you talk about alternative medicine and natural remedies, people start to roll their eyes and imagine you dancing with a rattle in a grass skirt, like some kind of cartoon witch doctor. A toast to the powers that be responsible for brainwashing the general population, hat’s off to a job well done. We’ve all been duped and we don’t even know. That is unless you do know…

If you do know, maybe you’re like me and you’ve seen in impact or natural holistic health modalities which embrace the idea of natural medicine as an alternative to patented designer prescription medications.

As a matter of fact, I’ve witnessed natural cures (I realize I’m not qualified to use the word, “cure,”) using simple techniques and herbal medicine that have far-surpassed whatever promises the medical community might make.

I’ve known many people who were given six months to live. For those who simply accepted their dire diagnosis, they passed away within a year.

For the others who sought to fight the doctor’s death sentence, with alternative medicine and natural remedies, guess what? You guessed it, and something deep inside you knows it’s true. They are all living their lives fully and joyously.

What do the doctors have to say about this when they are confronted by their self-healing now healthy beyond belief patients? They all have this response down pat, “It’s either a misdiagnosis or a miracle.”

There is nothing miraculous about the healing of themselves, except for this:

The miracle of the human body to heal itself while accelerating natural healing with what mother nature has provided for us. Our planet and its inhabitants are perfectly matched and attuned to work in concert for our highest and best outcome.

Everything you could possibly need was placed here on earth before we were put here. We experience life in the most comprehensive closed system, which is in itself is one of the most amazing miracles, confounding the highest thinkers of time since our introduction to this planet.

Nothing is more natural than having the ability to heal yourself; this is what your body was designed for.

If this is true (and you know it is), then why is it illegal to honestly tell your story? There are people who have boldly proclaimed the power of natural healing and natural cures. Where are they now?

The answer is so impossible to imagine that I won’t even attempt to offer any suggestions. Suffice it to say, in general, they do not continue their professing natural cures for very long until their voice slowly fades into the confusion of obscurity.

I have long been a supporter of natural healing, studied and practiced in various areas of alternative health care, though this is not the main focus of my personal calling. I was first so impressed early in my ministerial career, at how effective prayer was in initiating spontaneous healing, this sparked my interest in natural healing.

And believe me, if you’re seeking out natural remedies or an active participation in holistic health, consider spirituality as part of the comprehensive therapeutic approach. A little belief goes a long way. The integration and calling upon a higher power can make all the difference.

If we can agree that all disease affects three separate but unified parts of us, our body, our mind and our soul, then neglecting the soul can hinder your healing and wellness significantly.

Can natural healing be accomplished without spiritual integration? Absolutely, but the results are far greater and more rapid with your heart connected to the source of all life.

If you think you’re ready to take responsibility for your own health, the good news is, Google is a good repository for the otherwise hidden jewels for natural remedies. You can pretty much find anything you could possibly think of, though much of the information is anecdotal, and you will find a lot of people swearing that considering any of these natural cures is dangerous, if not lethal.

Be smart about it. Exercise your due diligence and see what dies. If you’ve been given six months to live, it may not be you, it might be your belief in what you’ve been trained to believe about health and medicine.

Love and Fear in Relationships

We already know that we bring baggage along with us into any relationship which contains ideas, fears, programming, and beliefs that hinder our ability to be honest, open and have a truly loving connection with another person.

Because we believe these ideas to be true, because in our mind and felt by our emotions, they appear to be even more real than the pain of life which might be felt in the real world. The construct in our mind has been so carefully designed and programmed since our birth that we believe it, more than we might believe something in real life that may contradict our programming.

The fears which we harbor from the past plays out in a dramatic portrayal, all the while supporting the underlying belief, i.e., I can’t trust anyone, all men are dogs, I will never know true love, to have love you must give up yourself, etc. We do this, even if we don’t like it because there is safety in knowing a thing is true. We are comforted by the experiential re-enforcement of our beliefs even if they are painful and untrue, which may not make it true but it does make it appear as though you are right. The question is, then,

Let’s face it, love and fear are polar opposites on the emotional scale, how can anyone expect to bring such a contradiction to a logical conclusion. Love and fear will always promote pain and dysfunction. For instance, if you have a fear which asserts that you cannot trust anyone, then this becomes your self-fulfilling prophecy. After a while in your relationship your partner will do something that seemed perfectly normal or “cute” in the beginning, but suddenly the same act triggers an emotional response making you feel as though you have been betrayed, he or she is sneaking around or hiding something from you, and the drama is played out.

Which would you rather have?

To be right, or to have love?

We tend to project our feelings and fears from our past onto our partner, and we are so good at it that our partner will have no hope in overshadowing your projected image or idea, no matter how well-intended and loving as they might be. This creates an environment which fosters difficulty in couple’s connection and conversation.

When something sets you off in an emotional tailspin, this is triggering a reaction based on some hidden fear which if identified and dealt with can engender healing and open up opportunities for unbridled growth and expansion in you, and untold possibilities for creating a deeper, more authentic and enduring connection with your partner.

If your relationship appears to be problematic, chances are if you heal your relationship to your self, you will also heal your relationship. I know, it can be a lot to try to wrap your head around because your first instinct is to say, “It’s not me,” it’s the other party who is causing all the conflict. The fact remains, if you are the one feeling the emotional reaction to the trigger, it’s you, not your partner.

Now, through a little investigative research, if you can ferret out the source of your reaction and deal with it in an effectively eliminating fashion, it will no longer have power over you, causing you to react irrationally. You, then, can focus on your partner’s issue (if it still remains) calmly, without accusation or judgment.

All you have to do is to open and allow for a deeper connection to be revealed to you, then do the deep work of exposing the root and eliminate it through a psychologically surgical process. The surgical process can take many shapes and forms and rarely does one procedure work on all people. Nonetheless, you can start this process, right now.

You can start by using a simple prayer,

“Reveal to me the ways that I am hindering achieving my highest and best that have anchors to my past. Help me identify them and heal them so I might enjoy life without being restrained by them. Let me see me and my potential for love more clearly.”

Then see what happens. Almost immediately, you will feel lighter as a new energy enters your sacred space and thirty-to-forty days, you will have access to this energetic power fully, as it strengthens over time as you send up this simple prayer daily.

You will also notice a shift in the energetic vibration of your relationship and your partner as well because as you grow and change, your relationship grows and changes also.

This energy will attract to you all the tools, knowledge and resources necessary to move you through the process. But you must be alert, attentive and willing to take action when you are quickened or when assistance is presented to you.

Your answered prayer will have things showing up in unusual ways, you will see themes and messages appear in media, internet searches, advertising, other people’s conversations, books which may be calling for you to read them, or even the message which seems to speak to you when hearing a song on the radio.

Check your motivation because you should be doing this for the right reason: You. You are not going about this work to save your relationship or to change your partner. You might find that your partner is changing along with you and that your harmonious journey will take you to unknown magnificence in true love and deep, meaningful connection.

On the other hand, as you do this deep inner work, you may discover that you and your partner really are not compatible and cannot continue on a single journey traveled by the two of you hand in hand. The time may come when you both send each other off to each continue his/her journey without you, as you continue yours.

Be open and don’t try to force a particular outcome, let the source of all life imbue you with everything you could possibly need to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Let your love soar.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Talk to Your Inner Child

We all have that inner child which resides within us. This child represents your younger self, and inner being who is very much alive, but for the most part hidden from your consciousness until you meet your inner child.

Once you’ve become acquainted with your inner child (refer to him or her by name, your name), it’s prudent to pay attention to him or her, and to maintain a tender, caring relationship with your little tike. Your inner child is just like any other child and longs to be acknowledged, loved and cared for.

You don’t need to pay a therapist to talk to your inner child; the power of your imagination, is all you need to access and interact with your inner child.

Using your imagination, allow your inner child to appear to you and periodically tell that little guy or gal how much you love and adore him or her.

“I Love you. I adore you. You mean the world to me, and I will never let you down. I am here for you. I love you with all my heart. I Love you so much. I love you.”

There are other things your inner child needs to hear from you. Here are some ideas to think about what to say to your inner child. You may use these words, or come up with your own, as may be appropriate.

Because your inner child wants to be heard and understood, it’s good to establish an open and understanding relationship.

“I hear you. I know you’re going through things and I care so deeply for you. I am listening to you. You can always come to me, no matter what. I want to know how you are feeling and I am here for you any time you need me.”

Due to their increased sensitivity, whenever an inner child has their feelings hurt (they can hold a grudge for a lifetime), whether it was the past, or even in the present, they need to hear your validation of their being wronged, acknowledging the injustice.

“That was awful. No one should ever treat you like that. You’re a pure, loving child, undeserving of any disrespect, abusive behavior or words. This is just wrong, and of course, your feelings would be hurt; anyone’s would. You did nothing to deserve this.”

Remember, your inner child (just like everyone else) is only doing the best he or she can possibly do in terms of how they respond to things based on the tools he/she has access to at the time. Don’t ever let him or her think they could ever let you down, or disappoint you. Over time, he or she may mature and you might be able to equip him or her with understanding and coping mechanisms. Empower them to be who they are, where they are, right now.

“I know you did the best you could and you’re doing the best you can, right now in this moment. I will not judge you. I love you and in my eyes, you could really do nothing wrong.”

It’s good to say you’re sorry, whether it’s about you’re not paying attention to or listening to your inner child, or when something has taken place which has made them feel bad; something from an outside source that wasn’t their fault, that they had no control over.

“I am so sorry that I didn’t listen to you. I’m doing the best I can and I know that you are, too. And I am sorry that person made you feel bad. No one should have the right to do that. I am sorry, I love you.”

Sometimes your inner child takes responsibilities for things that was not his or her fault, or has unjustly carried a grudge against someone or something for a period of time (maybe a long time). Let your inner child know that you forgive him or her and that you harbor no ill feelings or judgment.

“I know you feel bad, maybe even mad, but this was not your fault. I totally understand why you might feel this way, and I totally forgive you for feeling this way, or even making me feel this way. You are my cherished treasure and in my eyes, in my life, and in my heart, you are utterly amazing. I forgive you.”

Validate your inner child’s existence, thank your him or her for being there, for being a part of your life.

“Thank you for being such an amazing part of my life. You are the most important thing to me, and I love everything about you. Without you I would be more than alone. You help give my life meaning, purpose and someone to love, no matter what. Without you I would be lost. I love you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

This, by no means, represents the only chats you can have with your inner child. Just as with anyone else, your conversations could be limitless.

If you would like to share conversations you’ve had with your inner child, feel free to note them below.

 

Just Go with the Big Change

Sometimes in life things happen and you find yourself amidst a major change in your life, a natural disaster, an unexpected transfer, promotion, move, change in relationship status, health-related diagnosis, being a victim of a crime, loss of property, valuables, or investments, receiving a pink slip indicating the loss of your job, or any other variety of major challenges which could rock your world; just go with the big change.

I know, if you’re hanging out with me, you’re a mover and a shaker, you’ve got an incredible amount of things going on, running a pretty tight schedule. You’re growing, expanding, influencing others, and suddenly, without notice, you, too, get surprised by some major shift which could greatly affect your life.

Your first instinct is to resist, to try to push back or to try to control as much of the change as possible as details develop and are revealed to you. Yet, a better way to manage a big change is to find ways to

Let Go and Go with the Flow

You still have a lot of life to manage while all this change is going on, you know trying to micromanage the details would overwhelm you, so instead of trying to control all the details of the change which is unfolding before you, look at this as a divine invitation to further expand your being as you learn to let go and go with the flow.

Letting go of the details can be a frightening idea, especially if you’re like me; if I’m facing a change, I’m likely to start mapping things out, creating T-charts, To Do lists, flow charts and check lists, because, “How else you gonna get things done?”

If your life has a lot of control in it, and for high functioning deal makers, life- and world-changers, there’s a good chance there is a lot of control in your life, because that how you keep faithful to your cause, mission, and get things done.

But then, as you continue to grow and expand, your highest and best in its fullest degree needs no control, not by you anyway. I know, it sounds scary. It’s like you’re piloting a Boeing 787, and your instructions from the tower are to get up and take a seat in First Class and relax while God pilots the plane to its intended destination (which may not be the destination that was charted on your scheduled flight plan).

I recently found myself amidst a major change and I decided to apply the approach of,

Let Go and Let God

Letting go of my inclination to control all the details, just find myself in a particular flow or vibration, and let things unfold in a natural fashion. Very frightening indeed.

One of the advantages of letting go of all the details was that all the other details which I manage on a regular basis, which is a part of my mission and/or ministry, were uninterrupted by what would have been an unexpected and incredibly unsettling major change.

Already a huge advantage.

But then the most amazing things started to happen…

Opportunities appeared at just the right time and place. I mean, I could have never created a plan to create these things showing up, even with all my masterful coordination and doingness. It’s like something more divine was at work and whole series’ of life changes in other people and shifts and changes in environments taking place over months and years, all culminated in an incredible revelation, as everything just fell into place.

And my only job in terms of making all the adjustments necessary to accommodate this big change was to focus only on resisting resistance.

Resist Resistance

All I had to do was to resist resistance and allow things to fall into place, and they did; in ways I could have never imagined, far beyond any way I could have created the outcome with all my combined abilities and great concerted efforts.

Admidst by letting go and going with the flow, all I had to do is to when faced with a decision was to ask myself which option had the least resistance. In other words, to ask,

What’s Easiest?

Whatever appears to be the easiest option, with the least amount of resistance, led me to a higher vibration series of events or options.

The journey, which would have otherwise been tragic, became divinely orchestrated, simply unfolding before me, as if I’d been led, blindfolded, to my highest and best outcome, with little effort and without stress.

I challenge you, when you are next challenged with an unexpected major shift or change, rather than try to manage all the details of this life event, think about initiating a bit of letting go and letting the divine to unfold naturally, to see what happens.

Sounds scary?

Yes.

Worth it?

Indeed.

Disaster or Miracle Find the Blesson

Life is a crazy journey. It’s full of unexpected twists, turns, trials, and tribulations, with the occasional tragedy thrown in for flavor. What you get is a cocktail for disaster or the foundation for limitless miracles. The tipping point, the pivot which lays perfectly in the center of your life delicately balancing every situation and circumstance, is controlled by you. So, it’s up to you whether is is a disaster or miracle and to find the blesson

Every challenge you face comes with emotional weight on either side of life’s balance beam.

The slightest influence, what you feel, what you think, what you do, even the smallest bit of energy equivalent to the weight of a snowflake, is enough to upset the delicate balance, sending all that emotional weight tumbling on the side of either disaster or miracles.

No two life events are the same. Each has different degrees of emotional weight associated with it. Some have such little emotional weight, that whether it falls on the side of disaster or miracle the emotional impact is barely noticeable. In other cases, the emotional weight is so heavy that it could have life-threatening emotional impact if hurled on the side of disaster. On the other hand, if sent cascading on the side of miracles would be cause for incredible celebration.

In either case, the actual upsetting of the balance, the process of tipping it one way or the other, is shocking and unsettling. Even if very heavy emotional weight is sent crashing on the side of miracles, an uncomfortable period of adjustment may be necessary before the celebratory outcome can be felt or realized.

Curse or Blessing

It’s all up to you, whether every challenge you face feels like a curse or a blessing. You will feel the emotional outcome according to which side it falls on.

Turning Emotional Disasters into Miracles

What if all the weight shifted and crashed down on the negative side of disaster? Is there a way to convert negative emotional weight into positive, even miraculous, emotional weight?

The answer is, and will always be, unequivocally, “Yes.”

You can turn bad emotional weight into positive emotional weight, but it will take some inspired, attentive, and focused work to be done by you if you are interested in engaging this transformative process.

This is the work that my colleagues and I do every day when helping people overcome the emotional trauma experienced by individuals just like you who bear the burden of carrying a high-level degree of heavy negative emotional weight.

The very carrying of such emotional weight takes a toll on your body, mind, and soul. You feel the negative impact of it and carry it around with you wherever you go. Sure, you can find ways to mitigate the damages or stave off the effects for a while, but when the smoke clears from whatever method you’ve used to stop the pain, all that weight is safely stored and remains.

To move it from one side to the other will take some work on your part.

Whether it looks like medical intervention, therapy, counseling, consulting, coaching, or private personal or spiritual growth, there are many resources available for you to achieve the process of metamorphosis, turning your tragedy into priceless treasure.

Find the Blesson

The starting point is to find the blesson; the blessing and the lesson that was hidden amongst the pile of negative emotional weight which was represented by the specific event, situation or circumstance to which it is associated.

In this way, you can start the cleanup process. Some of the negative weight can be eliminated, destroyed, demolished and swept away or discarded, if necessary, while the rest (all the good, valuable and blessed weight) can be transmitted to the positive side of miracles. Following the period of adjustment, not only will you feel the relief from there being significantly less weight on the negative side (never having to carry it again), but you will also feel the positive attributes associated with moving weight to the positive side, which makes you feel better, satisfied, fulfilled, even joyous and blessed.

And your efforts of doing the work necessary to diligently execute this process are forever accompanied by a sense of pride in the knowledge of the fact that you did this deep and meaningful work on your own.

Be an Inspiration

Having gone through this process of personal discovery, healing and transmutation of negative emotional weight into positive, you have become an expert, like only you could be, regarding the challenges which you have overcome.

There was a divine purpose for your enduring both the challenge and the overcoming of it, and that is to offer hope to others who without your encouraging story of having been there, done that, and not only survived but thrived from having come out on the other side.

You have become the lighthouse, saving others from the potential dangers of encountering similar plights.

You are the lighthouse beaming your beacon of hope to the world; a world facing little hope of a positive outcome when facing unbearable odds and having little hope, if any.

My Love Life’s In Crisis

My Love Life’s In Crisis!

What Can I do?

Your relationship has been going on for a while, but there’s this one thing you thought would work itself out but your partner has continued to do something that just doesn’t sit right with you. You thought your love would be enough and your partner would let go of this thing or vice but instead, it’s gotten worse. Now what? You’re asking, “Is it time to confront my partner?” And, if so, “What’s the best way to confront my partner?”

You’ve probably been watching this thing go on, and you sort of thought it would just resolve itself, but it’s gotten worse and there could be consequences. Only you know how this is affecting your relationship and your partner just goes on oblivious to the impact this activity is having.

It could be an activity that leads to a loss of health and wellness, or is causing the breakdown of the relationship and could include anything from eating and drinking to gambling and other extra-curricular activities. Even worse, you know this activity, whatever it is, is causing you to lose respect and admiration for your partner. And left unchecked, could lead to the end of this relationship.

When it’s getting to the point where you’re contemplating leaving the relationship altogether, you’ve let it go on for too long, and is more likely than not, due to your codependency. Codependency is an addiction and the single largest contributing factor in relationship failure.

You have to come to grips with the idea that in reality, this is all because of you. For whatever reason, you didn’t say anything long ago and you might even have the inclination to ask, “How did we get here?” But in your heart, you know it was because you didn’t care enough about yourself to say anything when you first noticed, and now it’s escalated into all this. You allowed it and now it’s out of control.

Denial is a powerfully destructive emotion which could make you think this is all your partner’s fault because he or she is engaged in the actual doing of whatever it is, but it’s not true. You are the only one to blame because you turned your head and allowed this thing to grow and expand.

You must love yourself enough to speak up for yourself when you know something is happening that is just not right. Waiting too long, until a thing grows so hugely out of proportion that there can be little hope of recovery, is nothing short of criminal.

All is not lost

There is still hope, but it is far more complicated at this point to address the issue, after letting it go for so long.

Thankfully, there is an emotion more powerful than denial. In fact, it is the only emotion that may be more powerful and it is powerful enough to overcome any obstacle that stands in the way of your having the loving relationship you so ling to desire.

For your partner, there is no greater motivator than to preserve the love that he or she so greatly desires.

I know, men get a bad rap for being strong, in control, personally devoid of sensitivities, but in reality, they are longing to love and be loved, honored, respected, and adored just as much as you. They want to do the right thing and be appreciated for doing it, so give them a chance.

As much as you might think they could care less about you, if you ask them what is the most important thing in their relationship is, they invariably reply that it is “your happiness” which is the most important thing to them.

Even though you’ve let things get out-of-hand, you still have love on your side and because you have let this thing erode your affection for your partner to this point, the idea of losing everything could be a powerful attention-getting proposal for initiating change (even though this is not the best approach).

Waking up to the idea that one could lose one’s life as they know it, including family, kids, friends, finances, reputation, and most importantly, “love,” could be the best motivation for making rapid significant changes.

On the other hand, if not handled properly, it could signify the relationship’s breaking point and ultimate failure.

Our society holds our men to such a high expectation of being strong and powerful that we offer them little love and loving support and this is one of the contributing factors to such higher rates of suicide of men over women. A man is far more likely to take his own life as the result of relationship failure.

Often failed relationships and the lack of support for men is the leading cause of male suicide which outnumbers women four-to-one. When all they really wanted was the chance to love, be loved, and to please their significant other but were not allowed the chance to do it or make it right due to miscommunication or some other contributing factor beyond their control or knowledgebase.

The only hope of making through this crisis together can be found in

1. Establishing Sacred Space

The home, or at least someplace in it, should be defined as “sacred.” This activity will never breach this place. Also, this place is reserved for safe conversation and exchange, where the topic of this crisis can be discussed without judgment.

2. Allowing Time for Healing

Both the accuser and the partner engaged in the activity must agree to allow the time necessary to address the behavior, which may have become a growing addiction over time. Just as this issue has developed over time, it may take some time to change the behavior.

3. Being Open and Honest

It is incumbent for both parties to be both honest and open when communicating about this behavior which has gotten out of control. Yu need to express how this activity makes you feel, what your innermost thoughts are, where your mind goes, how it affects your heart, love and admiration. And your partner needs to be offered the same courtesy through this tough time.

4. Sincerity and Compassion

This is the time to be sincere and compassionate, not superior or demanding. No pointing of the finger, insisting, “You did this,” or, “You did that.” For heaven’s sake, don’t nominate yourself as the flawless almighty by accusing your partner of being any less human by asking, “Who does that?” as if no other human being on the planet would consider doing such a thing. This is the time to imagine what it might feel like to be in his or her shoes right now. What if it was your partner issuing you an ultimatum right now?

5. Get Help

If there is time, space and the ability to seek out a relationship coach, clergy, or counselor, consider reaching out for to someone for support and a fresh perspective. The relationship might not be salvageable but if it is, someone with a clear perspective and access to additional resources might be able to save all the good things your relationship represents.

Let’s face it. You didn’t get into this relationship for all this drama, even if you contributed to it. The truth is, you loved your partner, and the reasons you decided to align yourself with him or her are probably still there. Even though you might not be able to see clearly through the veil of the current crisis.

If this conflict was the result of your codependence, be aware that your next relationship will not be any better until you move through the dependence continuum from codependence, to independence, then onto interdependence, when you can successfully manage a healthy relationship.

Love can prevail over a crisis, but it will take action, not just words, motivated by pure love to get from here to there.

You can do this, if you want to.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Catch a Wave for a Better Life

How Did You Feel Today?

Tell me, how was today for you? What if every day could be like today, would that make you happy? Was today the best day ever, one of those days that was better than the days before, or was today very similar to the days of your life as one slowly merges into the next with little change or variation? How did you feel today?

Do you want to have another day, like today, tomorrow?
Would you like to have a better day?
What if every day could be better than the day before?

When you’ve decided to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place. You can say, “Goodbye,” to the same ol’ same ol’ routine of life, but you’re going to have to do some work to make it happen; you can’t just wish for a better life and expect to simply step into it. No fairy godmother is going to wave her magic wand and make it happen. If you want a better life, you’re gonna have to do something, maybe more than you bargained for, but it will be worth it if you really want a better life.

If you’re not going to do the work to live a better life, then that’s okay too. There’s nothing wrong with making the best of the life that you have, but there is a decided and purposeful difference between making the best of what you have and living your best life ever.

It’s all up to you, which would you rather do?

Make the best of the life that you have

Or

Live your best life ever and make the world a better place

There’s no right or wrong answer; it’s all up to you. What do you want to do?

If you want to live your best life and make the world a better place, it will take more than buying my book, and it will take more than reading it. It’s going take action, and it might not be easy. This might be too much to ask of yourself, so if it sounds too much like work to you, then you’re probably not being called to such a high level of excellence, and there’s no problem with that. You can always make the best of the life that you’re living.

If you’re looking to live a better life, be aware of the rare opportunities to catch a wave that could help to raise your vibration and ride that wave. But just like riding a surfboard, if you’re not making the effort to stay on the wave, it will go on without you.

If you missed that wave and it has left you behind, don’t panic; that wave was not meant for you. There’s always another wave. The next big wave could be bigger or better, maybe now, who knows, but one thing’s for sure: Another wave will come.

Inexperienced surfers are expected to crash and burn the first few times when trying to catch a wave, and that’s okay, too, because there’s always another wave.

No use in worrying about the one you missed because another one is on its way. Maybe the next one will be the one for you. Maybe, you will be able to exert the effort necessary to make sure it doesn’t pass you by; and if it does, no problem.

You cannot coast and do nothing and expect to ride the wave. It’s just not going to happen, and if you want to make the best of the life you’re living there’s no fault in that.

God is holding a treasure trove of blessings for you, no matter where you are in life.

Just keep loving and doing the best you can with what you have.

Love, love, love… love is all there really is.

Note: The seventh wave is the biggest wave

Make Your Dream Come True or Not

I know you’re hearing people tell you that you should, “Do what you love,” and the most optimistic encouragers might add, “and the money will come.” While a good part of my work is helping people find their passions and monetizing them, when you hear someone say you can make a fortune doing what you love (which is true) you may have noticed that while it sounds so good at first, something inside you is making you feel like this is not true. You can make your dream come true or not.

Both thoughts are right. While it’s true that you can do what you love and get paid handsomely for it, it is also true that you might not be able to make a dime doing what you love.

When I meet people and they have an idea about the work I do, most of them tell me they have this great invention, business idea, or unwritten book that will change the world and will make a bazillion dollars overnight. Great!

These are the kinds of people that I work with every day, but most of them disqualify themselves as a prospective client by answering the following questions:

1. What have you done today to promote your project?
(Talking to me doesn’t count.)
2. What have you invested in your project before today?
3. What other projects have you completed in the past?

If you don’t have passionately positive answers to these three basic questions, you are a dreamer. No problem with dreamers; we love them, we need them, life would be lackluster without the dreamers in our lives.

Not to be dissuaded by feeling like their answers may have disqualified them, they usually follow up with something like, “No, I don’t want to do it. I want you to do it; you can even put your name on it. I just want you to do it because you’re the master doer. You make things happen. Just do my thing and we’ll split the bazillion dollars 50/50.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are serial marketing money making masters who are always searching for the next thing they can exploit, make as much money as they can, then bail out and go on to the next thing. These are not the kinds of people that I work with (okay, maybe I do work with some people, like that).

My preference is to empower someone who is passionate about their project, mission, or message, and they’re actively doing something about it.

Make Your Dream Come True

You can make your dream come true; no doubt about it. I see it all the time, people making their dreams come true, and there’s little more satisfying for me than being able to watch the transformation take place in real time. But the key to making your dreams come true is found in the first (most important) word, “Make,” your dreams come true.
Just like you can’t just imagine a chocolate cake, or repeat the affirmation, “I am enjoying the chocolate cake which is materializing in hands,” and expect it to materialize before you, like magic (although, this can happen, it takes more than just imagination and affirming statements), so it is with your dream; you must “Make,” your dream come true.

The manifesters and creators are busy doing the work of making their dreams true. This is “the secret” to their success; they do the work of making their dreams come true every day.

Everything is Energy

Energy creates all things and if you’re a fan of Einstein, you know that Energy equals MC squared. M represents mass; that means you must have something to work with. C represents speed (the speed of light in a vacuum). So you need something physical to start with, and speed; moving in a particular direction… Squared. That means you’re actively moving twice the speed of anyone else. This is the formula for manifesting or creating anything from energy (which everything is).

Even when you hear about an overnight success, you have no idea what work went on that no one was privy to, going on diligently behind the scenes, laying the foundation for the sudden impact of the idea burgeoning into full expression.

There’s nothing glamorous about doing the work of building your dream when it appears to be fruitless. The law of sowing and reaping is never more clearly apparent than in your life as the manifester or creator. You diligently work your project until you reap the reward of your efforts, the juiciest and most satisfying fruit of all.

Or Not

“Oh, that’s too much work for me. I don’t need another job.”

Awesome. Instead, then, focus on your innate skills, what you’re really good at, and do that. If this is your calling, do that. We need you just as much as we need the manifesters and creators and by all means,

Keep Dreaming

You never know when your dream will fall into place, in the perfect planetary alignment, in the right hands at the right moment in space and time.