davidmastersadmin | David M Masters

Looking for Love

Love is the power of life. If you are clever you can harness the power of love and have all the best things this life has to offer. Everything you want in life can be found in love. Love keeps you safe and secure. Love is the only thing that really lasts, gives meaning to life, and is the bond that holds us all together. Love is not a contract, a prison cell, or restrictive; no, love is supportive, knows no bounds, and sets you free.

Love is integrous, it honors you, what you want and what is important to you. Love wants you to be happy and desires to give you everything you want and so much more. Love gives you a glimpse of what’s on the other side, what is in store for you if you dare enough to love for it, and what is waiting for you when your life has run its course.

Love is the power that makes all this possible, everything you can taste, smell, see, hear, feel or experience is brought to you by the power of love.

Do not disrespect love. Don’t use the word to bring about a certain response from someone or outcome in a desperate situation. Instead, make sure everything you do in love is connected to your heart, your highest self, and God.

“I love you,” are the three sacred, most powerful words in this human experience. “I love you,” is the combination that disarms all locks and opens all doors for your highest and best, and is the most powerful force in the universe, when connected to your heart, your higher self, and God.

When you tell someone you love them, you are wielding the most powerful weapon in the universe. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna honor the love that is in you, or break weak and allow you, or how you feel, to dishonor love? If you utter the words, “I love you,” you better be willing and able to back it up with everything you’ve got, unconditionally, or keep your mouth shut.

And you say, “I’ve loved before, and it nearly killed me!” Oh, yeah, what you thought was love will hurt you, it will mess with your head and your heart, and it will take you to places where you thought you’d never go, breaking your heart wide open, and leaving you for dead.

When used for evil, love can be the most destructive force in the world. Yes, there are people who use the power of love for evil. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. And when someone does, don’t judge them. Sure, you can be hurt, devastated… Someone just hit you with more power than the most powerful weapon known to man.

Do not let them win by killing you, the love within you, or lure you to the dark side of life. No. You find the love within you. That small ember of love is there, focusing on it causes it to energize and flame on. And with that flame of love, and everything you have in love, you give that love to your aggressor. You don’t have to say the words (God bless you, if you can) but you can send your love to the person who has failed love and used it for evil.

You may have given up on it, and find yourself saying, “I’m not worthy,” No one could ever love me. I am too selfish, too wounded, too fat, too tall, too young, too old, too… too… too… You are never too anything!

The most painful and arduous quest in life is the search for true love if you do not have a grasp of what it really is. Love is not the elusive, weak-kneed, find-your-soulmate, “if I can find someone to love me, my life will have meaning” kind of love you read about in books or long to see in the movies. It’s even a step beyond the “I love you no matter what” kind of love.

No. If you look for love outside of yourself, you will never find it. Oh, you might see someone displaying love’s attributes, and if you’re like me, when you do, it gets you right here, in my heart, and I’m likely to shed a tear, because there is nothing more meaningful to me than seeing someone honoring love and with integrity, honesty, openness, humility, and transparency: Loving.

The love you seek is not some elusive thing, hidden out there for you to constantly be looking for. If you’re out there looking for it, you will never find it.

True love was placed inside of you in that magical moment of creation and it has been there ever since.

You may not know it, but if the love in you left your body, your body would fall to the floor, lifeless. Without love you are nothing. So, if your heart still beats and there’s at least one more breath in you, love is there.

You ask, “But what if I die?”

You and your love may leave your body, but your love never ends; it goes on and on and on… to infinity.

Are you ready for love?

Check out the: Awakening to True Love Workshop

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Psychopath, Sociopath or Narcissist

We all get excited about putting labels on people, especially when we’re trying to figure out why people have a tendency to hurt our feelings or act in ways that we think might be very different from the rest of us. This is a constant moving target for mental health professionals, armchair psychologists and victims of all kinds.

There is no definitive distinction about psychopaths, sociopaths, or narcissists, which everyone can agree on, so we all do the best we can with what we have. In fact, in the professional sector, they have abandoned these labels altogether in favor of adopting a wide spectrum appropriately labeled Anti-Social Personality Disorder, or ASPD. This seems to be a better way to describe the folks who don’t get along or play well with others.

People tend to get these three labels mixed up and use them interchangeably, and I am often asked what the difference is between them.

There seems to be a bit of confusion about psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists as I get asked about the differences between them and how difficult it is to tell them apart. So, I will take a shot at it, advising that this is how it goes in my ministry, it does not apply to anyone else’s practice (because to get a professional group of educated people to agree on anything is difficult, if not impossible, to do).

What makes it confusing is that psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists share some common characteristics. For the most part these people are attractive to us as we are drawn to their charm and attracted to their perceived friendliness, while they also maintain an inflated sense of ego. They also seem to possess a lack of empathy, which is counter-cultural (anti-social) and gives them the inability to connect with others in an authentically compassionate manner.

Psychopath

Psychopaths are charming, are daring, tend to take on risks that would normally intimidate others, are bold, fearless and have an extremely high degree of self-confidence. They are intelligent, are able to process large volumes of data and may have achieved high levels of education, and if not, can easily appear as though they are highly educated.

Psychopaths anti-social and have a limited worldview, as it’s hard to imagine anything more important than themselves, fail to possess the ability to maintain an authentic connection to other people, and are more focused on who can serve them or what can make them feel exhilarated. They are also prone to anger-fueled emotional outbursts.

In the employment or public service sectors, they are high achievers, are able to quickly move up the corporate ladder, and when they shine, we admire their devil may care attitude as they demonstrate their ability to tackle impossible challenges and come out on top of the heap (even though the heap may include devastation and dead bodies).

All the while, we admire them and can even be jealous of their ability to divide and conquer without the emotional filters the rest of us have, and they are friendly. We are attracted to their charm, often unaware they are not normal and are only manipulating us, as they play us like their private orchestra.

While they are adept at masquerading as being just like us in every way, this is all an act to control us and influence us in such a way as to be compelled to support them in any way we can, and they will use any methods to appeal to and manipulate our feelings to motivate us to do so.

While using the ability to interact with social media to attract support or lure potential victims, the psychopath will post photos of themselves, but their photos are less likely to be pre-meditated, precisely posed and appear to be more candid. They are not necessarily as obsessed about how they appear in their photos, as long as they’re not too bad. And their online vocabulary is likely to include foul language or words that would be thought of as negative or angry.

On the wrong side of the law, prosecuting attorneys tend to refer to these people as “evil” as they try to unmask them in front of juries who are shocked to find that such a good person could be so different when compared to their public persona.

Sociopath

Like psychopaths, sociopaths have little or no empathy, though are not as ruthless as psychopaths. They can be just as manipulative, but are more considerate of others, but will turn on you in a heartbeat, if it will get them what they want. In this way, they are stealthier and less likely to be identified early on.

They are more spontaneous and fun-loving and find it easy to blend in to a crowd, or belong to a group or movement.

While sociopaths are also quite friendly, their friends are for the most part not long-term (though they could have a very small number of long-term relationships), due to their inability to maintain the reciprocity necessary to continue a friendship for any length of time. They usually make friends with those who can support them in some way, then forget about you when you are no longer needed, or they’ve found some other way to satisfy whatever it was that you were providing them.

They are intelligent but not prone to enduring the long commitments necessary to complete higher levels of education and are likely to find other way to meet their needs.

Sociopaths may be as ruthless as psychopaths but often the underlying motivation is quite different. While a psychopath is motivated by fearless dominance, the sociopath may take unrealistic risks or measures that can negatively affect their peers for their fear of loss, thusly imposing their dominance as an act of perceived self-perseverance.

Sociopaths are less likely to actively engage in social media, due to their anti-social tendencies, though they may use is sporadically, tolerating social media exposure long enough to accomplish a specific goal or task, otherwise, they don’t see much need in it, unless it serves a particular purpose for them.

Carelessness may cause the sociopath to appear before a judge and jury.

A sociopath can be described as a person who remains nervous and is vulnerable to getting irritated very easily. These people are anti-social and often are uneducated, living on the edges of society. They can be called abstainers who are perceived as disturbed people by others. A crime by these people will often be instant and unplanned.

Narcissist

The narcissist is quite different from the psychopath and sociopath, but do share some similar characteristics. There is no doubt the narcissist is extremely selfish and may have the inability to have compassion for anyone else. The narcissist is the center of their universe which revolves around them, so to them, little else really matters.

Narcissists are unable to understand or perceive anyone else’s point of view, staying true to their own ideals, with having little regard for any other individuals. They are unable to be empathetic and are quite adept at manipulating of others.

They are easily categorized as being vain (check out the old Carly Simon song, You’re So Vain. Pretty much sums it up) they can’t help but check themselves out in a mirror or look at their reflection in a shop window, or post a lot of selfies on social media.

Narcissists are attracted to social media to express their tendencies to be an exhibitionistic, to attract the attention of others, and to promote their own agendas, or just to show off. The need the admiration of others to support their grandiose image of themselves, and are found very active on Facebook, amidst a sea of likes, posts, shares, profile updates, and followers. Since their face-to-face connections are superficial as it may be hard to get a word in edgewise, and they are likely to interrupt you when you’re trying to express yourself, they can express themselves continually on Facebook and Twitter without having to tolerate the interruption of others.

Mental health experts agree that a narcissist is easily identifiable by the frequency and type of photos or selfies they post on their Facebook profile. Their photos are less candid, always portray their best side, are often carefully posed or exposed and are likely to feature above average attire and expensive accessories. And on Twitter, they’re more likely to tweet about themselves or from their perspective using first person personal pronouns, such as “I” and “me” or the plural “we” or “us.” Photos are also likely to document their whereabouts, especially prone to posting “look at me,” (without actually using the words) when out and about or out on the (or out of) town.

Seeing themselves as superior to other people, narcissists may be more likely to judge others and see anyone else as lesser people, unworthy of their self-perceived higher social status. While they think their friends and followers are adoring their posts and tweets, in reality their viewers are more likely to be rolling their eyes in silent disapproval of the narcissistic selfish displays, and may even unfollow them at some point. No problem for the narcissist, they are certain there and hundreds (if not millions) of other people waiting in line to get a look at their latest post and these followers are certainly far more deserving.

Psychopath	Sociopath	Narcissist
Charismatic	Confident	Extremely self-centered
Confident	Friendly and polite	Seek admiration
Fearless risk takers	Can blend in	Less likely to care about others
Intelligent	Less highly educated	Prone to obssess in social media
Masters of disguise	More likely to break the law	Post a lot of updates and selfies
Dangerous	(less likely to get caught)	Most likely not dangerous

You might be interested in attending the Victims of Psychopaths Event

How to Turn Your Blues Into Blue Skies

Ever have one of those days when you’re feeling a little blue?

You know, you look around, and it appears to be a normal day. You see other people appear to be enjoying today, just like any other day, but you’re feeling a little off of your game?

Well, it happens to the best of us.

Thank God, we’ve been given all the tools necessary to get ourselves out of this slump. All we have to do is to use our head (for, “something more than a hat rack,” my grandfather used to say). You can adjust the focus of your thoughts, which have obviously veered off course. You’re probably thinking about things that are not putting you in a joyful state of mind. Chances are you’re thinking of someone less fortunate, something you might be hesitant or worried about, or any number of things that would affect your otherwise brilliant state of mind.

If you allow yourself to be distracted by negative thoughts, the frequency of your vibration begins to sink. This can dramatically affect your mood and perception of life all around you. Left unattended, your declining vibration could cause the loss of your enthusiasm, even activities which may have brought you joy to lack their sheen, and possibly lead to depression.

Staying in this trend of lowering your vibration can also affect the physical world around you, as you are at sorts with the more positive energies around you and you are attracting more negative energy flows and awkward circumstances.

It is so amazing that just by tweaking our thoughts, even the slightest bit, the whole world around us begins to change. What an incredible gift, the awesome power which has been bestowed upon us to change the world, even the whole universe, just with the energy of our thoughts.

A bit of positive physical activity can also help to get that stagnant blood moving and anything to engage your heart to take notice will help lift your mood and raise your vibration. You could try taking a brisk walk or a dip in the pool. Maybe just getting out in nature or feeling the grass beneath your feet and between your toes will do it; or you might try listening to your favorite music as you watch the sun go down. The whole idea , here, is to disconnect your thoughts from what is bringing you down and finding that peaceful place in your heart and mind to dwell in for a while.

Memories can be tricky to manage. If you think back to the bad times, your vibration can quickly sink to match where you were in that moment in your past. On the other hand, remembering an good memory can also take you back to the higher vibration you were in at this moment in your past. So, you could think about the good times with a special friend, happy times you spent with friends and family when you were younger. You could also remember those instances in the past, when you felt so blessed or your heart overflowed with gratitude.

After you’ve spent some precious moments reliving the best moments in your life, when you return to look at the day that you were having, the circumstances or challenges you were facing, it doesn’t look so bad; and now you’re on your way to getting your vibe back.

Keep a handle on how your feeling and check in with your inner self, your heart, and see where you are. Be aware and ready to recognize when you’re starting to feel your vibration slip downward. It can be such a slow and gentle decline that you might not notice it until you’re feeling bummed out. But if you’re looking for it, you can spot it early and cut it off at the path.

We all face challenges that can throw us for a loop, but it is best not to spend too much time fretting over things which are beyond your control. Just as accidents can leave a scar on your body, life can have its way with you and leave an emotional scar inside, that no one can see, but you can feel it. Just like any other wound, time does heal, though the rate of healing cannot be predicted. Surely, though, the more you focus on what is making you not feel good, the longer it will take for you to recover.

If you must be reviewing the incident or issues that are making you feel blue, try looking for the blessing, the lesson, or the hidden treasure in it. All adversity has something amazingly meaningful tucked in side, but you have to be sleuthfully adept at finding the hidden treasure. One thing’s for certain, if you seek it, you will find it. Be looking for the positive aspect and it will be revealed to you.

Often an unexpected circumstance or event can give you skills or insights that will be of great importance in an event that lies ahead of you, or maybe you’re becoming more aware of what to avoid, so that you don’t have to face another situation, like this one in the future.

When you’re feeling blue, this is not the time to take on new opportunities, sign contracts, or promise to do something that you might regret later. First get back into your groove by raising your vibration and are able to maintain it for a while, before taking on any important projects. Feeling blue can cloud your otherwise better judgment.

You might want to enlist the aid of a friend, confidant, coach or counselor to act as a sounding board. By telling your story to someone else who will not judge you for your sensitive thoughts, you can relieve some of the pressure and thereby raise your vibration. You can also achieve a higher vibration more quickly and easily by sharing your good time memories with your friend(s) or confident, because if they are enthusiastically joining in on your joy, your good vibrations will be magnified exponentially.

I know when I get down and lonely, I find that focusing on God, and all the blessings he has given me, the incredible life and love for my children and grandchildren, maybe pluck a little on my guitar and it’s not long when I can find myself with vibes fully restored on the mountain top, ready to tackle just about anything.

The Power of Oh Well and Not Caring Too Much

One of my mentors has a specific mantra that protects her from all things that might otherwise be frustrating or stressful. I told her she should write the book and teach her technique all over the world (if she does write the book, please think about picking up a copy for yourself to learn how…),

She has mastered the art of, “Oh well.”

She has associated her state of being to go to a calm and peaceful state any time she utters the words, “Oh well.” So, when she starts to feel a drop in her vibrational frequency, if she is able she utters the words, which immediately takes her to her safe place.

While this is an extremely effective way of centering herself in seconds, the effect on anyone else within proximity may not see the benefit and may even be offended by her ability to not engage in the proposed negative vibration or thought pattern.

How often do you see, hear or read about disturbing news that makes you feel bad?

How often do you report your negative findings to someone else?

Why do you do it?

Because when you feel bad about something you’ve just learned about, you have taken on the emotional weight of the bad news, lowering your vibration. You want to get rid of some of the emotional weight in an effort to raise your vibration, so you don’t feel so bad. You do this by reporting the unsettling information to someone else. If they feel bad about what you have presented to them, you feel better, because you have effectively transferred some of the weight of your negative emotional weight to the person you’ve told and you feel better.

When you’ve met someone who doesn’t take the emotional weight that you’re trying to ride yourself of by feeling badly, this doesn’t make you feel any better, and you are likely to take offense to their not receiving your negative vibration. In this case, you might even plead your case reinforcing your negative vibration about the bad news in an effort to convince the other person to feel obligated to feel bad about the negative news you’re trying to release.

If this person is positively resilient (like my mentor) you are likely to feel worse about the negative news, because you’ve sunk to a lower vibrational level in your attempt to convince the other person how bad this news is. This makes you feel hurt or angry and want to strike back at this positively resilient person who refuses to compromise his or her vibration. If you don’t say it, you’re likely to think that this person is an insensitive or uncaring individual. And if you’ve said something to that effect out loud to someone like my mentor, you may get a response, something like, “I care, but not too much,” which reinforces their positive position, and doesn’t offer you much comfort because they still are refusing to join you in your misery.

That said, a better approach is for you to not get so agitated, upset and angry at bad news to which you are exposed. This variety of negatively impacting data you are exposed to can be anything from your own personal experiences of being victimized and pent up frustrations about work-related or social injustices to watching the news or worrying about something you have little or no control of. Letting these things build up inside you will drain your personal resources, lower your vibration, and left untended to may lead to frustration, anger, feelings of helplessness, depression and possibly even suicidal thoughts.

What can you do about it?

You can take full responsibility for your own mental state, like my mentor does, by controlling how you feel about anything you are exposed to. Another thing you could do is to purposefully not expose yourself to undesirable information about things over which you could not possibly have any control over. Not submitting your emotional state to negative influences, can be as easy as turning off the TV, or especially avoiding the CNN (Constantly Negative News) feed.

There are other activities you can engage in that will support your vibrational state positively. Doing so will raise your emotional vibration and also your quality of life.
You can raise your vibration by learning how to find an emotional state of peace using relaxation techniques or meditation. Getting out, taking a walk or engaging in a bit of exercise for as little as seventeen minutes will raise your vibration and make you feel better.

Being mindful about the food and nutrients you are putting in your body will help maintain your positive personal natural resources, increasing your immune system and giving you the raw materials to respond better to stressful influences.

Pay attention to your emotional state, review how you are feeling, and if you’re not feeling on your game, take time out to make yourself feel better by engaging in an activity you enjoy or puts you in a more positive vibration.

If you’re feeling down, stressful, or sense your vibration sinking, put your hand on your heart, focus your attention on the area of your heart and take slow deep breaths as you imagine your breath going in and out of your heart, for seventeen seconds. This will help to center you emotionally and allow you to have a better perspective by neutralizing your otherwise negative emotional state.

When someone tries to unload their negative crap on you, learn to shrug it off with a little, “Oh well.” And if they protest, back it up with a bit of, “I care, but not too much,” and enjoy the benefits of your new heightened emotional state, and
Be happy.

Looking After Yourself

We all pretty much do look after ourselves to some degree. We exercise, try to eat better than we might if we didn’t care at all, try to treat others politely or with kindness, but often neglect the other part of us that need tending to as well. Maybe it’s about time to think about looking after yourself more.

Start off with looking at ways you can honor your vessel, the body you were given to experience all the good things this life has to offer. The least you could do is to treat it like a car that you love, or even better, like the priceless treasure that your body is. While you might take your car in for a nice detailing, your body might be worth a little pampering too. Think about treating it to a massage, or a visit to the spa.

Hold sacred space aside for you to honor yourself. Make time to relax and settle into a peaceful state of mind. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, even if it’s only 17 minutes out of your day. This seventeen minutes is your sacred time, without interruptions. You might enjoy just closing your eyes and practice deep breathing, getting in tune with your heart or inner self. Just try it and see how this little, sacred space in time can affect the whole remainder of your day and your life.

Inside each of us is a little child version of us who longs to come out and play every once and a while. Honor this part of you, there’s no need to deny him or her, he or she is a part of you, so invite him or her to come out and play with you. Try to find occasions to make time doing the things that you used to like to do when you were younger. Remember the things that brought you joy in your youth? It’s different for all of us. It could be anything from riding a merry go round to playing ancient video games, and anything in between. Make time for your little guy or gal to come out and play.

Find your safe place. It could be a physical safe place or a safe place you can find in your thoughts and mind, where you can immerse yourself in the comfort of security. It doesn’t have to be a safe room or stronghold. You might find this level of safety and serenity soaking in a bubble bath, curled up in a comfy blanket listening to your favorite tunes, inventorying memorabilia, or reading a book accompanied by the dancing light of a scented candle. Whatever it is for you, wherever it is. This is your safe place, make time for it.

Think about taking the time to dream, daydream, or creative visualization. Using the creative power of your mind and imagination, you can go anywhere and do anything. This is youthful and powerful art that is often abandoned as we get older. When you were younger, the whole universe was at your beck and call, using the power of your imagination, and it still is. Look for opportunities and take the time to rekindle the flame of your power of visualization.

Every once and a while, schedule yourself for a Me Day. Make this day (the whole day, or at least a nice, big, fat piece of this day) all about you. Set aside a specific start and end time, and just get away. No thoughts about the cares of life, things that get you down, worrying about this or that. Just take the day and allow yourself the mental break from anything that might hinder your possibility of having the best time with yourself, and have fun being you. No judgment, just have a good time. This is your day.

Take a break from procrastination. We all have stuff that we’d rather put off ‘til tomorrow, and we know for some things, tomorrow never comes. Not this day. Just like you would take a day for yourself periodically, same goes for something that you might be putting off. You will be surprised how good it feels to do that thing you’ve been avoiding. Now you don’t have to carry around guilt about it any longer. As a matter of fact, you could do the thing first and celebrate its completion with your Me Day.

Go to the park or the beach and kick your shoes off. Take a hike in the woods, or whatever is your fancy, but connect with Mother Earth. Find the time to take a break surrounded by her magnificence, the green grass, the pebbles or sand, the sound of lapping waves or birds chirping. Take a dog for a walk. Don’t have a dog? Borrow one from a friend or neighbor. This is a great way to put yourself in a position to receive energy from Mother Nature.

I hope these ideas inspire to spend time looking after yourself more. You will be amazed at how much this will raise the frequency of your life, and better prepare you to enjoy all the good things this life has to offer, and by all means, be creative and come up with even better ways to look after you.

Here’s looking at you, kid.

Loss Bereavement and Your Broken Heart

Every now and then, Wham! Life hits you right between the eyes with something so unexpected and shocking… it’s so hard to comprehend how something so horrific could happen to you. It’s not like you’re a bad person, you’ve done nothing to serve this, you’re a good person, and it’s not like it’s the first time. But, now? Really?

You’re first thought is that this will be impossible to survive, and you’re in so much pain, it’s as though your heart is bleeding, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it just stopped beating altogether. And if it did, at least this pain will have ended.

It could be that someone you love has passed on, you could be suffering from a heart broken by someone you loved dearly, or you may have suffered falling victim to some other unforeseen incident. Nonetheless, here you are in possibly one of your deepest, darkest moments, and you’re feeling bad, lost, isolated, and alone.

What are you going to do about it?

You basically only have two choices, to allow this life event to overtake you, to sink into depression’s bottomless pit, or to let this thing flow over you, get back behind the wheel and continue to live your life, taking back your control, expanding your mastery.

Grieve? Absolutely, let it out. Give yourself time to honor this event emotionally, then pull yourself together, and get back to the business of life.

You never know what life is going to throw at you, when, where, or to what extent. I mean, I’ve been fortunate to be living a long, eventful life, while I had to lay to rest a 20-year-old son. I’ve loved and lost, have known all kinds of betrayal, and for some reason, my life keeps going on. I’m not saying my life is better in any way than anyone else’s. In some ways, it doesn’t make any sense to me at all; why God would take Aaron and not me. But I owe it to Him, to keep on keeping on, honoring each precious moment that He gives me. So, I pick myself up, dust off the ashes, and keep moving.

When you’ve been hit by the loss of a loved one, you are going to experience the pain of loss, and this pain can be overwhelming. There is no doubt, your grieving will take time, and there is no limit on the time that will be necessary for you to grieve, only that you must, and only you will know how long it will take; most likely, not at the outset, but closer to the time when you begin to see the light at the end of grief’s tunnel.

Be aware that your emotions will run the gamut; everything from the initial state of shock, an isolated numbness and a foreboding fear, to anxiety, anger, and broken heartedness, just to name a few. All these feelings are part of the grieving process and are the gateway to the other side of grief. It is how we honor those who are lost, their impact on our life, while we heal the best we can, and find a way to go on. If you are fortunate enough to have someone who has offered their shoulder to lean on, please do. Sometimes people are brought to us, to be there for us in our hour of need. These are the unsung angels, respect them and lean into them, when you need to or when you can.

Another curve ball of life could find you face to face with a life-threatening disease for you or someone whom you may love dearly. This, too, can be a tragic, traumatic life event, that can send you reeling in fear and helplessness as your life spins out of control, and even denying any truth of the matter, until getting a grasp on the painful reality of it all. Denial can take many forms, and in fact, I have known people who have refused to accept any such diagnosis, and in this respect, the denial of the existence of the fatal illness actually led them to full recovery. It’s somewhat of a tightrope to walk, one the one side, you need to accept the severity of the situation you are facing, on the other, you need to take dominion of what ails you if you hope to conquer it. Either way, you will need to search deep within yourself as well as reach out to your network, your support system which has been attracted to you just for this challenging time.

And if you’re facing the tragic end of a romantic relationship, especially if you’ve been together for many years and may have children involved, it can definitely throw you for a loop. Even if you’ve only been together for a short while and there are no kids involved, you can still find yourself suffering traumatic challenges in finding ways to cope with the loss. Just like any other kind of challenge, you find yourself facing fear. Fear of what is happening, fear of wondering how this ending is going to play out, and fear about how this will affect your future. You’re likely to find yourself struggling with feelings of betrayal and abandonment issues. All this is not restricted only to romantic relationships, but could extend into other relationships as well, including family, friends, and co-workers.

Again, you have three things necessary to deal with these – or any kind of – unexpected crisis or life event.

1: Time. Time to work it out in your head and your heart.

2: You. All the tools and equipment that you need have been placed safely inside you, safely stored away, waiting for you to access them in your time of need.

3: Others. You will notice others who have been attracted to you in your life to be there at the right time and place. Please do not fail to keep an eye open for the unsung angels who have been brought into your life for just this moment in time. Reach out to them.

And have faith that all things come together for good, for you, in the end; if only you can make it to the other side. From this new vantage point, you will be able to see the blessing that was hidden from your view, while you were struggling with your challenge.

Find Greater Meaning In Life

It’s easy to go along in life, just going on about conducting the business of day to day life, not cognizant that you are part of an incredible grand scheme and the part you were destined to play, is absent from the performance.

Yet, the part, written especially for you, remains an integral part of the story waiting to be told; a historically significant contribution, without which the performance loses its sheen. It’s true, the show will go on without you, and someone might fill in, in your absence, but it’s just not the same, if the person for whom the part was written, will not play their part.

For the most part, you are not responsible for playing your part, because up ‘til now, you didn’t have any idea that you had a part to play. But, now, as you read these words you feel your calling awakening inside of you, and you have an inkling that there is more to this life, and more and more, you are having the feeling that there is something else that you could be doing.

You spend a third of your life (or more) working, a third of your life (on the good nights) unconscious, and the remaining third of your life trying to find some relaxation, entertainment, or method to pass the time, like watching TV, Netflix, playing interactive video games, engaging in social media, or getting lost amidst the information superhighway; and this is our life. Every day, somewhat similar to the day before ad infinitum.

But wait (you say), I do get a vacation every once and a while to do something else. Right? True, but even those brief sabbaticals don’t seem to offer the satisfaction for the smoldering fire burning within you. These embers, though forgotten and neglected, can never be totally extinguished, because it is the underlying reason behind your birth, the experiences you’ve accumulated ‘til now, and the mission that awaits ahead of you.

There is no fault in not finding the meaning for your life, as society is ill-prepared for handling any number of enthusiastic individuals seeking to fulfill their unique life’s purpose. So, this part of your psyches is muted by exposure to various toxins, pathogens, and social mores.

But every once and a while, an inspired dreamer breaks through the veil and asserts their passionate prose.

You can fan the flames of your inspiration by looking at spending some of that third of your life, when you’re not sleeping or working, engaging in activities that will help you find a deeper meaning in life.

Find a subject that resonates with you, some topic that you find exhilarating, and make yourself an expert on that topic. As you dig deeper and demystify this topic, you will gain a sense of satisfaction in self-exploration. Beyond the satisfaction of learning something new (and not being told how to think about a particular topic from someone else’s point of view), you are exercising your brain in a way that returns it to a more youthful state and you begin to re-engage your sense of wonder. These research activities could include learning new skills, engaging in a new hobby, or pursuing a different career path.

You can apply new relationship strategies and higher degrees of connection and love to your existing support system, while exploring your community, or the community at large, for opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals, like yourself.

While you may spend most of your life trying not to draw attention to yourself (this is usually due to a fear of failure, or lack of self-esteem), maybe now is the time to think about taking on a challenge that will stimulate you and give you an opportunity to exercise your voice of individuality.

Being willing and able to have the courage to take a risk, pays back satisfying rewards for daring to accomplish something that may have intimidated your peers. It is in these moments that we support our inner desire to reach outside of ourselves for something that may not have been otherwise possible.

This creation of opportunities to engage activities beyond what we might consider safe, often leads to supporting the greater good, helping others less fortunate, or inspiring others to reach for higher accomplishment or meaning in life.

Moving outside your comfort zone might even include getting out more, leaving town, and exploring life from different geographical vantage points. Exposing yourself to new experiences, in new places and seeing things from different cultural perspectives can lead to your expansion of consciousness.

Above all, be open, supportive, loving and kind.

Am I Too Stressed Out?

I think we all can agree that stress is not a good thing, yet we all seem to be exposed to it, and some of us give a great deal of attention and dedication to stress, and for these people they will have short, potentially miserable lives, with a long bucket list of items they regret having not attended to.

Even though we are all subject to stress, there is a spectrum of response to stress, with extremes on either end. On the one side there are those who simply shrug off any potential of stress and it has little or no effect on them. On the other end of the spectrum, are victims of stress who surrender to all the overpowering negative influence of stress to subject them to suffering and depression, leading to the demolition of the autoimmune system and a shorter lifespan.

The struggle and strain associated with just trying to get by, can be too much stress for the average human being to sustain a long life, and certainly keeping any hope of fulfillment or happiness at bay.

I don’t know if anyone is immune to stress, for there is situational stress which is the result of circumstances which have placed someone amidst and whirlwind of incongruent thoughts about a particular situation that significantly challenges a previously tightly held belief, or instant radical change in lifestyle. This is considered short-term stress, because it represents a specific moment in time which is not prolonged, but like being subject to a gun-shot, grenade, or a bomb, the exposure to the stress is certainly short-term, but the post traumatic stress associated with this single act, can have long reaching implications if one suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which can have far-reaching life-long negative effects on both the psychological and physiological health of such a victim.

Nonetheless, there is a general consensus among our peers, that if you are a victim of a situational circumstance exposing you to what would be short-term stress; you should just get over it, and move on. To people who subscribe to this category of thought, they believe the damaging effect of stress should be limited to the exposure to the stressor. For instance, if you were hit in a crosswalk by a drunk driver, the specific incident was brief, and would certainly subject you to stress. As a victim of this incident, you are allowed a reasonable time to recover from your injuries and the stress associated with this unfortunate event. Six to nine months is considered reasonable. Any pain or suffering beyond this time period is regarded as potential mental illness.

This is a disrespectful pile of crap. We are all different and we all deal with stress in different ways. This should be respected, and for someone on one end of the spectrum to mock someone else on the other end of the spectrum is not only immature and disrespectful, it defines you as barbaric, and void of human empathy.

Long-term stress (where the victimization or suffering has taken place over a prolonged period of time) is honored with more time to recover, recognizing the acute nature of being subjected to the stress over time affecting both one’s body and mind. This expanded exposure to stress can allow a disproportionate amount of anxiety, loss of self-esteem, depression, paranoia, and potential panic attacks. Though extra time is allotted for recovery, it is not proportionate to the allowance of recovery ratio bestowed upon short-term stress victims.

Stress	Exposure	Recovery
Short Term	Minutes, Hours, Days	6 to 9 months
Long Term	Years	1 year

It’s easy for someone on one end of the stress reaction scale to insensitively accuse someone on the other end of the scale of being “weak,” because they would just shrug it off as “no big deal”, or from the other end, “insensitive,” because to think the very incident which was considered as no big deal, would have been devastating to someone one the other end of the scale.

There are certain indications that you are experiencing the effects of stress in your life, which might indicate the need to take countermeasures to find a more healthy balance in your life, they include

Dry mouth
Clammy or shaking hands
Discomfort of pain in the area of your stomach
Attaining a calm state of peace is not likely possible
Changes in body temperature, from hot and sweat to chills
You’re feeling as though your head is being squeezed in a vice
You feel your energy levels are declining as motivation dissipates
Challenges with focusing on daily routines, or interactive communication
Itchy skin (or more severely, feeling like bugs are crawling beneath your skin)
There is a foreboding, ominous sense of something being very wrong looming over you
A feeling as though you’re experience a difference in heart reaction, i.e., slowing or speeding of heartbeat or beating harder or softer than normal
You experience sleepless nights, kept awake by relentless disconnected thinking, even though you are tired
If you manage to get a good night’s sleep according to the clock, you wake more tired than you were before going to bed
Activities and things that once made you feel good no longer do

These are just a few of the common indicators of stress getting an inordinate grip on you, and should have you thinking about finding ways to de-stress, and or start paying attention enough to consider trying to live a more stress-free lifestyle.

There is no dishonor in reaching out to someone who is equipped to help you on this part of your journey. We all need a helping hand sometime.

You are loved, and a brighter future is waiting for you. Your life has meaning and the world needs you, now more than ever. Do not let stress keep you from achieving your highest and best as well as receiving all this life is waiting to give to you.

What Do You Want More Than Anything?

If you’re anything like the people that I encounter in my life on a daily basis, you’re answer would be,

“I just want to be happy.”

With everything that we have today, tablets, cell phones computer, WiFi, facebook, Twitter, SnapChat and the many other conveniences we have. It wasn’t that long ago and none of this existed and if you would have brought it up in conversation, people would laugh at how preposterous the idea might be. Even after having gone to the moon, and watching the fantasy TV space-western, Star Trek, they still laughed.

Now, only a few years later, we cannot conceive of life without everything we have instant access to, how we are all connected, no longer separated by distance, geography or time zones.

Yet, it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you’re barely making it on a minimum wage job, or a multi-millionaire, if I ask you what you want more than anything, if you dared to be honest, you would say,

“I want to be happy.”

Happiness is that illusive state of heart and mind that few of us are able to entertain for any period of time. Sure, we’re able to find things which bring us happiness, it is not long and these things which once were so sparkly and exciting, lose their luster and no longer make us feel good, and we seek some other form of happiness, or after a while, we might even give up on the idea altogether.

After a while, if you’ve all but given up on the idea of having any degree of happiness, you might think that no one has your back, you’re unable to trust other people, if you see other people being happy, you think they are delusional or faking it.

It’s difficult to get a grip on the idea of happiness, because it means something different to every one of us. And then you might actually be quite happy, but aren’t afraid to perceive your own happiness. We’re so busy relentlessly running the rat race, that we can’t possibly slow down enough to smell the roses, or even have the time to think there are roses at all, except for some inspiration for romantic poetry.

The pace of life, the calling of technologies clamoring for our attention, the stress of the struggle to survive and just make it through this life as best we can, keeps us from enjoying what we do have and joy floats further and further away. You might be surprised, if you could take a sabbatical from these constant pressures of life, you might be able to find enough peace and calm, to appreciate what you do have.

If you are but a victim of life, you need to find a way to stop life from having this power over you… and this also looks very different to different people. You need to carve out a place for you to enjoy some peace and contentment, keeping in mind that the things that bring true happiness may not be as large, expensive, or far away to find great joy in them. If you had the time and peace enough to appreciate them, you might find (as others have) that happiness can be found in the smallest of things.

So, whenever you can find even the smallest sacred space to ask yourself the question (maybe now) ask yourself, “What makes me feel happy?” Or, if you dare, ask yourself, “What could I be doing, right now, that would bring me joy, and make me so happy?” The answer to the second question is your happiness wake up call.

If you want to be happy, you need to take responsibility for your own state of happiness. It’s up to you to determine what you want, where you are, where you want to be, and to take the action necessary to move you from here to there. No one else can make you happy (you may have learned that the hard way). You must do the work to get there; it is all up to you.

You know what happiness is to you, you know what makes you happy, just by the thinking of it. Your heart, your feelings do not betray you in your quest for happiness. These feeling are your compass that you can use to guide you to what your heart desires and brings you a great sense of meaning and happiness. And you might find that these things are neither expensive, nor difficult to attain, but you must take the action to vector in the circumstances and opportunities for you to be in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind to manifest and experience your happiness.

No fairy godmother can wave her want and magically make you happy (at least, not for long). Your journey to attaining your personal state of happiness is on you, and you alone, and within you are all the tools and resources you need to make it happen.

Find opportunities to be happy in all areas of live, including family life, work environments, in nature or in the adoration of a pet. Seek happiness and put yourself in the stream of it (as it is flowing all around you) and you will find yourself in the flow of it, instead of watching happiness flow all around you.

Your Superhero Story Part 1

(Insert your first and last name) was born to parents (mother’s name) and (father’s name) on (insert date of birth) in (insert name of place of birth). No one in (insert name of place of birth).was any the wiser, for on that date and time in that place in space everything appeared to be normal in every way. Although (insert your first and last name) seemed normal, no one had any idea (he or she) would one day save the world.

(Insert first and last name)’s world went on in the usual way, until the day (insert day, time, place of tragic transitional life event). On that day (insert your first name)’s life would change, never be the same again. And then, when no one could have imagined it, (insert life dream or life experience when you are visited by someone [or something] that reveals your superpowers to you). And (insert your first name) knew it was true, and (he or she) knew that if anyone knew of (his or her) special abilities, (he or she) or anyone (insert first name) loved might be at risk, so (he or she) decided to keep (his or her) special abilities a secret… for now.

When (insert your first and last name here) met (insert name of romantic interest), (insert your first name) knew this would be the highest and best love (he or she) would ever know. Now, (insert first name of romantic interest) was far above average in Certain areas of life, such as (list attractive attributes, brief resume, and examples of abilities that set this person apart from the rest of men and/or women in the community); with a heart of gold.

One day following (insert one of you major accomplishments that you may, or may not, have received recognition for), (insert romantic name) knew something was up and took (insert your name) to (a private location) and challenged (You: him or her) about the source of (his or her) ability to perform an event such as this. (Insert your name) felt bad about keeping this secret from (romantic interest’s name) all this time, so (You: he or she) decided to tell (him or her) the story about how (he or she) received (his or her) super powers.

(Followed by a brief recap.)

(Name of romantic interest) rejects the idea at first, praying to god, that this was some kind of superhero delusion, because (he or she) does not want to be burdened with being intimately connected with a superhero who could be called into action on any given day or time without notice. (He or she) reaches out and takes (insert your name)’s hand, looks (him or her) in the eye and says, “I don’t want you to be a superhero. I want you to be my (wife or husband) and I want it just to me and you. To love and live, have a life like normal people.”

(Insert name) said, “Can I have some time to think about it?” (Insert romantic interest’s name), responds with, “Yes. But I must know one way or the other in the next 72 hours.” They embrace (fade to black).

Just then, (insert name of enemy) while bicycling through a cemetery is hit by lightning. This lightning was not like any other lightning you’ve ever seen. It was if the lightning hit (insert enemy’s name) bounced off and into the graves of all the other people buried there, then reflected back hitting (enter enemy’s name) a second time. (Insert enemy’s name) crashes (his or her) bike and lays atop the unmarked grave of a dead serial killer. Lifeless, as smoke rises from the body.

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, (insert your name) and (insert romantic interest’s name) are walking down the boardwalk, hand-in-hand, having a romantic moment.

Meanwhile, (enemy’s name) rises from the smoldering lump as a huge, hulking creature, stands up and says, “I feel great!” Looking at (his or her) formidable form, saying, “I’m gonna need some stuff.”

While (insert your name) and (insert romantic interest’s name) are walking past a military surplus store, (insert enemy’s name) pushes them aside, and storms into the surplus store by smashing through the glass front door instead of opening it, like a normal person. (Name of romantic interest) an (insert your name) fall to the ground.

(Insert your name) looks at (insert romantic interest’s name) and doesn’t say a word. (Insert romantic interest’s name) looks at (insert your name), nods and says, “Well, do your thing.”

Inside the surplus store, (insert enemy’s name) has supplies and the cash register tucked under one arm with the store clerk held by the throat suspended in the air in the other. Seeing this, (insert your name) point a finger at (the enemy’s name) and says, “Put that man down and step away from the counter.”

(Insert enemy’s name) looks at (insert your name) point (his or her) finger at (insert your name)’s finger and a lightning bolt shoot out of (his or her) finger directly to (insert your name)’ pointed finger, and in a flash of light, (insert your name) falls to the ground unconscious. (Insert enemy’s name) laughs wickedly and takes off out the front door.

(Inset romantic interest’s name) takes (insert your name) in (his or her) arms and asks, “Are you alright?” To which (insert your name) replies, “Yeah, but my powers are gone.” (Insert romantic interest’s name) embraces (insert your name) in a loving embrace, and says, “I’m sorry.”

There, I’ve got your started…

You take it from there.

(Or I could help you some more if you ask nicely)