One of the many distractions that can keep someone from human evolution is one’s sense of self. Being extremely selfish or self-centered can hinder your potential evolution while keeping you separate from other individuals.
This can be a little tricky because to retain a sense of individuality, one must see that one’s needs are met, so there does need to be some degree of self-preservation to ensure a healthy environment for continued growth.
This can be perceived as being selfish to others who would rather you did not grow or expand as a person or in consciousness, but this is indeed self-care, which is a primary need, concern and component of your continued evolution.
There is an underlying theme of selfishness being promoted by society and the media which encourages self-centeredness to the Nth degree which not only staves off evolution but bolsters the corporate machine that profits from our lack of growth and/or expansion.
10 Signs You Might Be Too Selfish
Asserting this is your life (even though it is) and being insensitive to the participants or existence of others can make it appear as you are the only person that matters. If you find yourself talking loudly (you may notice people asking you to lower your voice) don’t mind standing in the middle of traffic on the sidewalk, not moving over making way for others in more of a hurry, blocking doorways, ignoring others while you’re on your smartphone or feel disrespected when someone doesn’t respond to your text immediately, you might be a bit self-centered.
2. You’re Excited About What You Like
Nothing wrong with being excited about the things that you like to do but what is your attitude about things that your partner or friends want to do? When you engage in an activity that doesn’t excite you on the behalf of others, do you go along as a wet blanket, refusing to allow yourself to see joy in someone else’s idea of a good time. People may see you as being easily bored or too lazy to be invited to play along with them.
3. You Get Your Way
Do your friends (or partner) allow you select activities to engage in, supporting you with the best of their ability without saying much? There’s a good chance (if you’ve shown a lack of enthusiasm for things that they might like to do) that they’re going along with you because they like (or love) you enough to want to see you happy but this support will wane after time because you will be perceived as being too selfish to have any sense of reciprocity (give and take). After a while, you may find yourself rearranging your entourage.
4. You’re More Important
Just because you believe that you may be more entitled to preferential treatment because you earn more money, surround yourself with status symbols, or contribute more to the local community or world at large doesn’t really make it so. Relationships must go both ways. An enlightened being edifies or lifts up others celebrating their good deeds, wants and desires, encouraging them to grow even more, without appearing to be self-righteous or more important.
5. You’re A Winner
Sure, everyone likes to win, but if you insist on having the upper hand most of the time, this can put a lot of added strain on your relationships and support system. Whether it’s enthusiastically defending your point of view on a heated subject, or deciding which restaurant to meet at, it’s better to allow other people to have a say, and consider supporting their right to want, believe or think in their own individual way.
6. Reluctant to Compromise
Even if you try to give in to someone else’s desire (as hard as it might be) in an effort to meet them halfway, you still have to one-up the person or people you’ve forced yourself to compromise for i.e., you get the better seat, larger portion, souvenir, etc… Or insist on adding restrictions, like, “I’ll go along if…” (fill in the blank).
Are people close to you asking you (or complaining about) certain things that you do that could be seen as out of balance or self-centered? Do the same kinds of things keep coming up? And if so, is your initial reaction one of accusing (or discretely thinking) them of being insensitive, rude or selfish? If so, you may need to consider looking at it from their perspective. If someone is stating their needs or expectations and you are unwilling to listen or compromise, don’t be surprised if they quietly walk away.
8. No Apologies
Uh, apologize? Really? Give me a break. Apologies are for babies. Just man-up and get over it, like any other adult human being worth his salt. If that sounds remotely similar to what goes on inside your head when you think someone might be expecting an apologetic response, then don’t be surprised when people think your insensitive or conceited. A humble apology (that isn’t delivered begrudgingly) goes a long way.
You’re less likely to trust your partners or friends, especially in terms of happiness because you can find happiness without anyone else’s support. Plus, who wants to develop a deeply open and honest, trusting relationship when they’re likely to just leave anyway? (You may not realize that you are actually encouraging them to leave.)
10. Emotional Manipulation
If you’re more likely than not to make your friends, relatives or partners “pay” for your not getting your way, by giving them the silent treatment, belittling or disrespecting them, not following through on your commitments, withholding emotional support or establishing a noticeable withdrawal from the emotional bank account, you are being selfish.