What can you do when someone breaks your heart?
When it comes down to it, you only have two choices: to try to salvage the relationship (or what’s left of it) or to walk away from it altogether.
The fact of the matter is that people in relationships do not always have the best integrity. They keep secrets, fail to disclose specific details about things – including their true feelings – and misrepresent their level of commitment and a host of other lies and deceit.
Two people, like that, are a perfect match for each other. The problems arise when you have one integrous person, and one who is not, in the same relationship. At some point the relationship will experience a great deal of conflict and some of the incongruency will be revealed, leaving the other feeling betrayed and suffering from a broken heart.
When it becomes apparent that you appear to be the victim of unrequited love, you find yourself looking at all the clues that you overlooked over the term of the relationship. Those little inconsistencies bear more and more weight in retrospect, and it’s easy to blame yourself, like, “Why didn’t I pay more attention to that when it happened?”
The reason is because you wanted to believe the love that you had for the other person was being returned in kind. You projected your love on the other person, when in reality he or she was unable to do so.
Why? Because of all the benefits that come from loving and being loved. We project our lovingness onto them because receiving (or believing that we are receiving) the love we are giving gives us the benefits of a feeling of belonging and being treasured which actually makes us healthier and happier enabling us to live longer, with higher quality of life.
Truth be told, most (if not all) participants in a romantic relationship (even the most integrous and loving ones) maintain some level of deceit. It’s as though there is a righteous kind of deceit that has no intended malice, but is an effort to honor the feelings of the other person. In fact, most successful relationships are comprised of a complicated blend of honor and well-intended deception.
In this respect, it’s easy to say, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Because even though you may have loved the other person with all your heart, chances are you, too, have not been completely honest and open. If you have… it is somewhat more tragic, nonetheless, you’re still at the same juncture.
If the other person has left, there is little you can do but to let them go.
There is a delicate thread that separates seeking reconciliation and obsessive stalking (which there are laws against that could carry legal ramifications including jail time).
If you are left alone, be mindful that true love is still seeking you (though you may not feel like it at the moment) and you will be rewarded for your diligence, if you become the love that you seek.
In the event the former lover returns in an attempt to re-establish their romantic relationship with you, proceed with caution.
Is it possible to establish trust again with someone who has betrayed you?