Living in a home run by a single mother is no easy task, yet we do the best we can with what we have. If you were raised in a fatherless home, it’s easy to fall into your statistical inheritance. Chances are, if you were raised without a dad, you’re more likely to drop out of school, have emotional problems, run away from home, and have a criminal background; three to five times more likely than your peers.
In fact, being raised by your mother only may prevent you from growing into adulthood at all as you are five times more likely to commit suicide before you turn 21.
Times have changed. Back in the day, families staying together was a matter of survival. In modern society, much less importance is placed on the family as it is easier to walk away with few consequences if any, though mothers are more empowered to leave relationships that could be potentially abusive or dangerous.
More and more the growing number of us are being raised by single moms.
As children who were raised by a mother-only household, as adults, you’re more likely to be financially disadvantaged, have poor educational and social skills, be prone to alcoholism, illicit drug use, and continued trouble with the law.
In adult prisons, 39% of men and 42% of women were raised in homes without a dad.
Moms, thank you so much for what you did for us. We know you sacrificed and did the best you could, and we love you immensely for it, even if things didn’t turn out the way you hoped or had planned. We honor you and hope that our lives will reflect our gratitude for the life you gave us.
Not having a positive father figure can leave a hole inside you that if left empty will leave you longing for something… a loving father… or something else to fill the void.
The good news is that you do not have to let yourself become a statistic. At any time in your life, you can make a choice to carve out a life for yourself independent from what society may expect from you, as many others have.
I am one of those statistic-breaking individuals. Of course, I didn’t do it alone. Everyone makes their own way through life in their own way, and though others may have broken through the confines of societal expectation in ways similar to the way I did, everyone’s story is very unique.
For me, I discovered sanity and solace in God in my senior year of high school. I became so enthralled with the idea that I threw myself into religious activities full-heartedly. Billy Graham told me that I was blessed to not have a father because it allowed me to have a direct connection with God, without having to submit to my father.
I took his words to heart. I studied, engaged in the ministry, turned 18, married, and started a family.
After a while, even though we worked together in ministry, our marriage ended, and I started to notice things in organized religion were not as they seemed. My heart broke in many ways, but continued my ministry outside of strict religious confines, in the form of coaching, counseling, and consulting, which allowed my effectiveness in the world to grow.
Along the way, I felt like I made the best decisions to support my ex-wife and children at every opportunity with varying results, confident about my vision for long-term effects.
I also dabbled in musicianship, teaching, mentoring, entrepreneurialism, law enforcement, absorbed a myriad of helping and healing modalities to benefit my clients as well as myself and continued my personal exploration, expansion, and evolution.
At times, I thought the whole world was chaotic and crumbling all around me, but as I persisted to grow and be open to emerging awareness as I was able to perceive them beyond the veil of what would be considered widely held beliefs, I would experience a personal growth spurt.
It wasn’t long, and I noticed other people who were also going through a process of awakening.
While it sounds like a great idea, in the beginning, it is a difficult path to choose for one’s self, because this endeavor is not an easy path to pursue. It’s much easier just blindly going through life comfortably numb, that to face the challenges that lay ahead for awakening expansion explorers.
For me, it meant being in the world but not of the world. Being open to all the possibilities, ever consciously aware of my friends, relatives, and clients (or anyone, for that matter) to be wherever they were on their own individual journeys, regardless of whatever I, or anyone else, might think.
I could be fully empathetic, engaged, and offer only love and support for them, without judgment.
This has been my life’s journey, sharing and serving, and I am so excited about every day that I have left to fully experience even more in this life.
All this to say, you, too, can make a choice to not be a statistic.
Maybe you have been a statistic up to this point. You may feel as though your experience ‘til now limits or defines you. This is a lie. This is the lie that is propagated by society, that statistics are what they are, and there is nothing you can do about it. You are a lost cause.
You are not a lost cause.
You came to this life fully prepared, endowed with special gifts and abilities which are unique to you. You have a divine purpose for which you were called, and the world needs you to discover who you really are and is in dire need of the emergence of the real you.
Now it’s up to you. What will you do to change the who, who you are, to be who you were meant to be?
And all the experiences you have endured up to this point have been keenly offered to you as blessed education which has prepared you for this moment.
This is your time.
Your time is now.