It has been said that your level of success will represent the average level of success of the five people that you spend the most time with. These are your friends and associates; they support you, pay attention to you, tolerate you, listen to your troubles and laugh with you when you are happy.
Your friends and associates may be a challenge preventing your personal growth, especially if they view your desire to be successful as folly… It is not! Rise above the negativity by joining with others, just like yourself, who seek to be successful and are taking the steps to move above and beyond the negativity, to embrace a successful lifestyle.
We’re not talking about toxic individuals in your life so much as people who slowly drain your enthusiasm and drive to break-through to your more productive, abundant and blessed full expression of your life.
Does that mean ditching your friends?
This is a decision you need to make on your own. Are your friends holding you back? Maybe it’s time to consider making new friends…
I met a man by the name of Darnell, who was at 26 years old a felon and already served four-and-a-half years in two separate incarcerations of his adult life and had spent countless time in the juvenile system during his youth.
He came to me in a coaching relationship seeking a better life. The first words out of his mouth to me in our first session were, “My life’s a mess and it ain’t gonna change unless I change and I can’t change unless I change my life, where I live and ditch my best friends.”
These are the kinds of clients that I attract. Some people may call me a motivational coach, but it’s just not true because I don’t motivate anyone. People who are motivated to change their lives or uncover their life’s hidden treasures, discover and share their gifts with the world to make it a better place.
The people who work with me bring their own motivation when they seek me out. I love working with people committed to change, personal, emotional, financial and spiritual growth. I truly have the best job and attract the best clients.
Darnell knew – without me even hinting to it – that his current environment, life circumstances and friends (some who were lifelong friends) were holding him back. And any time that he might make the least amount of progress, the whirlpool of his life that he had come to know as his, “normal,” would suck him back down the drain.
Darnell needed to create a, New Normal, and he was self-motivated, committed to his goal and I was honored to be invited to watch his story unfold. He started a business and began the creative process of building the business, creating his brand and promoting his business, while working on his own lifestyle readjustments along the way but it didn’t happen overnight. It took a lot of work, dedication, cutting ties and building new relationships.
He relocated only half-an-hour away from the place that he felt held him back, giving him enough room to remain independent while still being able to interact with family with the option of being able to easily disconnect and drive home where he was building his new life.
While reinventing himself, he didn’t completely disassociate with his old life, but only visits occasionally, though due to his commitment to change, many of his former friends have lost interest in him. It’s been five years since Darnell sought me out and now he is enjoying his new life, new friends, was recently married and is starting a family.
We all could learn a lesson from Darnell. Maybe our current family, friends and environment… that part of life that seems normal could be the influence that is keeping us from achieving greatness, sharing our message, embracing our gifts or enjoying the fullness of our inspired human potential.
In business and in life, the people that you hang out with can make all the difference. It is one of the basic tenets of success. After all, we are who we spend time with. It may not be necessary to disassociate from others who might be holding you back, if simply making new – more positively supportive and synchronistic – friends and associates would do the trick.
Is it time to re-evaluate and make a change? Is it necessary for you to consider adjusting your social matrix, evaluating potentially unhealthy relationships (possibly using a T chart) to move forward into the better life that is calling you?