How to Get Over Betrayal by Family

Who would have thought you would be betrayed by your own family? These are the people you trusted, you grew up with, they’re supposed to have your back, not stab you in the back. Regardless, welcome to the real world with one hell of a wakeup call, so now you need to know how to get over betrayal by family members.

You must come to grips with the fact that betrayal by family members is quite common and has been going on for years. This is a key component of some of the greatest stories and melodramas of all time. There’s something terribly unsettling with not being able to trust your own family.

Who is better qualified to break you down and expose you for every weakness you have, or any misstep you’ve ever made but the people who know you best and have been the closest to you. Even the Bible warns of it, “your worst enemies will be the members of your own family” (Matthew 10:36) and if that wasn’t enough, try this on for size, “Even those closest to you–your parents, brothers, relatives, and friends–will betray you. They will even kill some of you” (Luke 21:16).

While you might expect to be the victim of betrayal of friends or most anyone, it never occurs to you that your family might be the ones who turn out to be the most toxic individuals, or your enemies, until it happens to you and you’re left having to deal with betrayal.

You can rack your brain and tear up your heart by trying to figure out why, so to put your mind at ease, so you can get on to the business of dealing with the betrayal by your family, one of the most common reasons you might be betrayed by family is jealousy.

If you’re in a position to enjoy life more fully and completely than your family member who feels he or she is more deserving, they might be tempted to throw a wrench into the machine to cause your potential success to fail. (You might remember this if you have siblings, as there is a constant struggle for familial support.)

A family member might want to knock you down a peg or two in an effort to even the playing field or even usurp their authority over you as if to prove you couldn’t possibly make it without them (and they will destroy you if they have to, to prove it).

Your parent, sibling, or another member of your family might just be a control freak and seek to control you and many areas of your life. Just try exerting your own independence and watch them rear their ugly heads to take notice and knock you down. Then kick you while you’re down there just to teach you a lesson.

Then there are the haters, those negative people who can’t help themselves, their first thought is to attack anyone, for no apparent reason, just to spread the hate. They are hardwired to be hatemongers and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Regardless of why you have been betrayed by your family, nothing hurts worse than being betrayed by those who are closest to you leaving heartfelt wounds and scars, and you must take steps to protect yourself from this kind of abuse.

Do not waste your energy arguing and fighting with the family who has betrayed you.

If you want to know how to get over the betrayal by family members, you have to distance yourself from the abuse. In a sense, you must disavow and relation to the members of your family who have turned against you. I don’t mean to lie to yourself, or anyone else about being related to them, but you must stop treating them like family if they have posted up to treat you as their enemy.

You must treat betraying family members just like anyone else who might abuse or betray you. You need to protect yourself from the abuse and not create opportunities for them to further abuse, trash, or attack you in any way.

When you are attacked by a member of your family, you must treat this person just as you would any other toxic person in your life.

There is life after betrayal. Bless them because they are your family, but walk away, and brush their dirt from your shoes. Don’t look back, and just keep walking.

A genuine family member would support you in all that you do and bless you as you make your own way. They want to see you become the best person you can be and enjoy the best life you could have, even help you in making it happen.

Real family loves and supports you no matter what you’re going through, in your best moments, and those less glamorous, and they love you just the way you are.

If not, you must protect yourself.

10 thoughts on “How to Get Over Betrayal by Family”

  1. Absolutely. My sister betrayed me and one of my children. Our last parent is ill and while our mother is alive I will be civil. After that I want that poison gone. Have told a few people what she has done to try and understand why. Why? I don’t like to think so but she sees my success as something she can never achieve because she is lazy. If she can’t achieve success she has to tear me down.

    1. May be she is upset with you with something. Betrayal happens when someone hurts someone. For eg. My brother whom I loved the most threw me put of house at 12.30 because he got married. Not only he stole my money, he mistreated me. Now, I wake up everyday wanting him to rot in hell. If I had a chance, and I will, I will do tit for tat. I will also emotionally hurt him by hurting his own family. These people should know what pain is.

  2. I’m crying after reading this. My whole life I tried to be the good daughter but the harder I tried the more my family beat up on me. I was the scapegoat. Every single success I had was met with name calling or criticism or beatings. Even as an adult, I was treated differently from my siblings. There was one point in my life where my sister betrayed me and my children then I found out through my father, so matter of factly, that he and my mother were also behind it. One could say I was conspired against. The worst part about this was I was just on the crux of ‘making it’ it a very competitive industry. They sabotaged me so badly that I was in financial ruin and couldn’t attend a huge presentation for one of my projects. I missed something so special to me. I had been working on it for years. But that wasn’t the end of it. Even from afar they would call people up and tell them what a rotten mother I was. My mother died recently and nobody bothered to tell me. Not that I shed a tear since I can’t imagine my worst enemy doing what she did to me throughout my childhood. But again, my siblings probably raided the house. She died without ever saying she was sorry or was proud of me or loved me. This happens to a lot with people. And since we still go by ‘honour your parents’, people don’t talk about the abuse and betrayal at the hands of their own family. This leads to self blame and a continuation of attracting sabatours. I told my doctor, I get better treatment from strangers than my own family. Knowing my history, she said she wasn’t surprised. In my case, I will probably never see any of my family again. Which, logically, I know is the right thing for me, but I still need to give up and truly mourn the dream of ever having a loving father and siblings.

    1. I know your pain all too well. I’m sorry that you are going thru this. 25 years ago my family decided to stop having contact with me because I chose to live a different life than what they had planned for me. I didn’t follow their rules. I was married and had a career and a home of my own. I was devastated and tried everything I could to communicate and ask why. I got no response for a year and then my sister called and said she missed me and we resumed our relationship. Fast forward to today. I found out yesterday that my sister, who I have trusted, has been lying to me. She has pretended to not having anything to do with my mother and two brothers. I haven’t heard from her in a week and went to her daughters Facebook page and found that my sister and family are on vacation with my brothers and mother. I’ll admit, it hurt. I now have no family. I’m not going to even accept her calls and I feel no need to explain myself. Sometimes the people whom we think are the safest aren’t. I’m 61 years old and seeing other people enjoying their families always makes me a bit sad. One thing I can advise is to take care of yourself. Know that you have purpose in this life and are loved. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care. You deserve only the best.❤️

      1. I feel for those of you who have been betrayed by family and I send you my Love. I now have no family either. Rather than accept the truth that my daughter is a self centred drug addict who cares nothing for my baby granddaughter ( I had care of her for months in last year while my daughter holidayed over the world) my mother , who is cognitively impaired, prefers to believe that I’m off my head. This is sadly supported by a sister who has always been jealous of me – a loner who cannot sustain a relationship with anyone,who at age 54 has never even had a boyfriend ( though she has trawled dating sights for decades.) I’m now having to go to court for CONTACT with that little girl I had sole care of. BTW said sister also took cognitively impaired mother to solicitor to have her will changed in her favour. It’s nort about money for me. It’s about integrity, honesty and decency. It has been extremely difficult but I now know I’m better off without them and I believe justice will prevail. Karma – what goes round comes round. The piper has to be paid. When ugliness leaves our lives there’s room for more beauty, joy and abundance to enter. Xx

    2. As long as we have a relationship with God, we have a family. God is so awesome, HE even allow us who have been hurt, to be family. Keep smiling! Stay encouraged and keep on trusting God! God Loves you and so do I!

  3. Having experienced betrayal, I truly feel for everyone who has been through a really difficult time and being betrayed by loved ones. From a vey young age if twelve I have always been there for my family always stood up for family when they needed me. After my parents died three years ago, I have been disowned and my sister and brother do not even call me. I see on the Facebook their families getting together on special occasions. Me, feeling so lonely thinking what did I do so wrong tha I don’t feel loved anymore. Recently after a year and a half, I found out that my niece who practically grew up in my lap gave birth to a girl. She is now a year and a half. Whom I trusted does not want to share here happiness as she texted me to say it’s because I did not go to her wedding. No one knows the true reason why I did not. Only god know. Feeling shut out from family is painful and depressing. I cried endlessly feeling why people hate me so much. I would never hurt others in the way my family have treated me. I am fifty now and also see other families having a good time. Loneliness kills as the same thoughts come in your head every minute of the day and despite to forget. You can’t. I sit down on my phone and pray to Jesus and ask him why am I so lonely? Only time will tell maybe god has better things in store for me. The heart ache and pain is destroying me, only the angels know how much longer I can last. I worry about my children and who will lol after them. God bless

  4. After reading all this, all of you have a place in my heart. For we have all experienced the same thing; betrayal by family. I’m 19, and I do not talk to one single person in my family except for my mother and we’re not on good terms right now. I’ve heard from just about everyone that forgiveness is important blah blah. It’s so refreshing to see that it’s okay to feel hurt. To see others share their hurt. I was molested by my Fathers Brother (my biological uncle) when I was 14 years old. No body believed me and I’m so convinced because no one tried to help me. I ran away and never looked back a week after the abuse took place and I still don’t talk to my family. Here we are 5 years later. I was so young I never understood how to deal with the problems after the sexual abuse. I lived with my mother ever since and she tries to insist that I wanted it to happen because I didn’t do anything to stop it. As if she even understands what it’s like being touched by a man whom you trusted literally all your life. A man who held me as a baby. How sick is that? as soon as I turned 14 he sexually abuses me. And I was betrayed by literally my whole entire family. And I’m fine now. Independent and powerful. They’ll never know what it took or the things I’ve been through. I’m waiting for the day that I marry, that way I can change my disgusting last name & finally put all this trauma behind me.

  5. I was always caring; almost to a fault. I loved my family and would do anything for them. Even my conniving sisters. But I soon found out that the entire family didn’t reciprocate when I needed them the most. Their response: “you’ve never done anything for us” said my parents who’s retirement home I paid for. My brother whose tuition I paid part off. My sister whose wedding I helped finance(a majority of). My brother who’s therapist I paid for(he attempted suicide). I could go one but you get the point. In doing all of this I never asked for anything in return. To this day I wonder what caused this. Was it jealousy, bitterness, etc… I cut ties with completely stopped financially assisting them. A few of them tried to visit my house to apologize but instead asked for another “favor ”. The audacity of these assholes is boyond comprehension. But in a way this is good now I’m more cynical of people.

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