How to Talk About Love and Money

The key to the successful love relationship is to be able to get ahold of yourself, open the line of communication and how to talk about love and money.

In the romantic relationship, the issue of money matters is the number one reason for the relational breakdown and the decline of the love relationship, leading to a breakup, broken hearts, wounded people, dejection, and divorce.

Opposing points of view do not necessarily indicate an impasse.

When something presents itself to the relationship which is connected to the money issue, seek to be empathetic, to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, to understand, feel, or imagine what it might look like from his or her perspective, while compassionately expressing your point of view.

Even though how you feel about money is a closely guarded emotionally charged core value, do not be afraid to get to know what it is, in detail, and be willing to communicate and express the intimate details about how you feel about money to your partner in a safe environment. And don’t wait for a money crisis to do so. It may be too late at that point to have avoided a potential irreconcilable difference.

When reviewing your own money style, ask yourself if this way of thinking really serves you? Does it serve the relationship? Does it usher in the opportunity for abundance or a better life? Is your style of dealing with money restrictive or expansive?

Only you can determine what is the perfect way to feel about or deal with issues surrounding money. It will take some effort, work, digging deep within yourself, while learning about your partner’s money issues, too, and you can do this.

Once you have a handle on the issue, seek a way that you both can emerge from this as winners. For instance, if one of the partners wants to go on a vacation and the other wants to save money, keep talking. Even though it appears that these are on opposite ends of the spectrum, you can look for ways that you can take a vacation and save money at the same time: Win/win.

Don’t think of win/win as a compromise because it is not. It’s learning and growing through a potential challenge and emerging in a more elevated conclusion advancing your union further, while coming closer together.

Realizing and understanding that both parties bring to the relationship money values to which they are deeply connected. These are deep emotional connections which have developed over a lifetime, and truth be known, is more connected to familial influence or survival instincts, and may be rooted in a sense of lack.

The loving relationship can assist in the emergence of a truly independent and more advanced evolutionary approach to dealing with money issues which is a higher and more integrous concept of money and how to deal with it. Thanks to the relationship, if you can push through money issues and not walk (or run) away, you can develop your own independent money values, free from the past, while retaining the good stuff.

If you think about it, you can probably see the connection between how you feel about money and how your parents dealt with money issues, and depending on the age of your parents, when you were growing up and establishing your own money type, this probably had a huge influence on whether you became primarily a saver, or a spender.

It’s often a healthy idea for a couple to have three bank accounts, one for each partner, and a joint account representing the majority (say, 90%) of the joint income. This allows for each partner to maintain a degree of financial independence and freedom to exercise their own needs and desires without having to explain themselves every time they make an expenditure.

Remember, that when dealing with financial issues in a relationship, there really is no right or wrong way to approach money, just different ways, and they’re all okay. Don’t be too quick to judge your partner’s money type just because it varies from yours. It can often be helpful and advantageous for two different money types to be in a relationship together, bringing balance and harmony to the overall financial outlook of the couple.

Every couple is different, and their money solutions will vary. You have to figure out what works best for you and your relationship while expanding love and not letting it deteriorate.

It’s really all about trust. Trusting each other and yourselves.

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