Love is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Surely there is no greater love than to experience that sweet connection between two human beings, separated by bodies but united in a strong love-connection that transcends time and space. This love can take many forms, like friendship, familial love, appreciative/respectful love, romantic love, eternal love, love for the others and the world, etc…

Being a love-child of the sixties (this is where I place the blame, though I realize the source could have come from elsewhere) I resonated with the love vibration that permeated the time. I was not attracted to – nor did I participate in – the “free love” movement that was prevalent back in the day, rather I embraced the idea of loving one another, accepting people for who they are and allowing everyone to find their own way, loving them all along their journey.

My sincere desire to participate in management of great love is likely why I was so attracted to ministerial work early on because the religious model that I was exposed to (then, in the late seventies) seemed to promote this kind of love. My fore’ into the business of religion did not turn into a life-long occupation, yet I continued in my personal work of helping others achieve their highest and best, while continuing to seek and promote higher forms of love and respect for others.

Throughout my life I always found it interesting (not only from a purely scientific viewpoint) that – even though I believed that each human was blessed with an innate capacity for love – some people seemed to be incapable of being able to truly connect to other individuals, experience compassion, empathy, or have a love-appreciation for concepts or things, like art. To witness the most beautiful sunset, or some other scene in nature, examine the details of someone’s art, see a heart-felt musical performance, see someone struggling for survival and to not be emotionally impacted; this surprised me.

Nowadays, I can wrap my head around the concept of someone who is devoid of an ability to love (as most the rest of us would define it), as is the case for most sociopaths, psychopaths or others at various locations along the anti social personality disorder spectrum; but otherwise “normal” people?

People with the inability to be moved to tears for anything except for pain or great fear…

Of course, I was raised under the tenet of, “big boys don’t cry,” like many of us (especially those of the male persuasion) and I maintained a tearless approach to life until the fateful day in 1982, following the viewing of E.T. with my young son, Nathanial. As the credits rolled, we both sat in silence, until he broke into the tearful sentiment, “I didn’t want him to go.” I joined in, and haven’t stopped since.

And I get that in our current societal structure, love is seen as weakness. In this respect it is understandable that one might numb one’s self to the idea of opening up enough to allow a wildly painful experience. These people had the capacity to love, but have taken extensive efforts to dismantle the ability in favor of self-preservation.

To complicate the landscape even more, there’s the whole “battle of the sexes” role reversal that figures into the picture of our love metamorphosis. In the past men were dominant over women, now women are exerting their dominance in an unlimited variety of ways.

Love is a terrible thing to waste shredder sign love waste
And still there are others who have never really had the ability to love… What about those people? Are they more inclined to use and manipulate other people serving their own selfish wants, needs and desires (but not in a narcissistic way)? Do they maintain relationships that are seen as highly disposable? And how does this all impact others who are authentic, loving people?

In my work (and in my life) it is not uncommon for me to meet people whose hearts have been broken by others who never had the capacity to return love in kind. Some of them heal and look for a more authentic love, while others allow their hearts to harden vowing to never love again.

To those with hardened hearts, I beseech you, consider learning to love again; the world needs your love now, more than ever.

I believe there is a progressive wave of love that is spreading throughout this planet as part of our human evolution.

What part will you play in this loving future?

See also: Making Sense of Wasted Love

3 thoughts on “Love is a Terrible Thing to Waste”

  1. Yes, love is a terrible thing to waste. It’s a shame when others have wasted the love that you have given and it is also awful if you disregard someone else’s love. Some people just suck.

  2. If there was no love, there would be nothing to waste. Stop loving, or at least love less. He who loves the least rules the relationship.

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