As much as you love someone, you can never love them enough to make them love you. Someone will either love you or they won’t. You will be able to trust them, or you won’t. They will either stay, or they will leave and no matter how much you love them, you cannot make someone love you back.
Since people have been exchanging love one to another, unrequited love has been an issue. It’s nothing new, and it’s not likely to change any day soon.
The False Accusation Breakup
There is a growing trend of demonization that is becoming more commonplace in the breakup process. When someone is secretly planning a breakup, they start collecting words and phrases uttered by you dating back to the origination of your relationship.
Data will likely include decisions you made or actions you’ve taken, which all can be spun into wild false accusations which would make others, possibly even yourself, question your capacity for love or sanity, which could be considered as abusive.
The false accusation breakup model is designed to hurt you and make you feel better about this person’s departure.
Until recently, this was a psychological tool utilized by psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists. Today, this is more common in our contemporary culture. When something invades popular culture, like this, there is little you can do about it, so until this method runs its course, try not to take it personally (though nothing could be more personal than a personal attack focused on you and your integrity).
Your attacker (the person breaking it off with you) has had plenty of time to prepare, and there is no way for you to compete or respond appropriately to each and every accusation, which will be voluminous.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of such an attack, your best move is just to listen, try not to let yourself be offended by all the accusations, and just let him or her air all their issues. Try to listen and interject with the, “Oh, I’m sorry,” or, “I didn’t realize that.”
The key is not to become offended or defensive about these exaggerated charges against you. This whole process is far less about you than it is meant to appear.
Your accuser has already left and has likely already made plans that do not include you. He or she has already left, and this particular act of demonizing you is his or her way of justifying their recent actions and final disconnection.
Any attempt to reason with someone who is unjustly rapid-firing a long list of false accusations will only delay the false accusation breakup performance and its ultimate outcome. So, just let them do what they have to do, and let them go.
Will it be painful? Yes, it will because you’ve been blindsided. You didn’t see this coming and it’s shocking when it happens. And because this break-up method is becoming more and more popular, you’re likely to encounter it more than once.
Remember that when someone is done with you, they are done. When they’ve initiated your crucifixion on their own, acting as accuser, judge, and jury. There is nothing you can do about it but delay the inevitable.
You cannot make someone love you, who has already left and disconnected from you. He or she may return later after they have put you through this and accomplished whatever it was that motivated them to do this to you.
If he or she returns, you have to seriously ask yourself if this is the kind of person you want to align yourself with. There is the likelihood that you will have to suffer this again in the future, and it will be worse the next time.
No one can make this decision for you. This is something you have to work out for yourself and whatever you decide will be right for you, because all things work out for good, even if it looks unlikely at the time.
So, see it for what it is, and let him or her say whatever is necessary to justify him-or-her-self. Let them go and remember,
You cannot make someone love you.
See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.