How can it be? You’ve been together a while and everything was so good, you were both so connected but lately it feels as though what’s left of the flame of love feels like it’s going out. Before you think about cashing it in or looking for greener grass, think about taking measures to rekindle the flame of love in your relationship.
Be aware that all relationships have a tendency to experience this fading effect over time. It’s not just you. The couples who make it understand this and make it through, not just by mere drudgery and sticking it out whether one likes it or not, not out of fear of loss, but the most successful couples do so by rekindling the flame of love.
In case you’re wondering what these power couples do to rekindle the flame of love, following are some of the secrets to their relationships success. You might think about employing some of these powerful techniques yourself.
Remember when the flame of love was burning brightly? Chances are there were certain gestures and activities which you engaged in back in the day when your love was on fire. It doesn’t require rocket science to think that if you were to reengage in the gestures and activities which you did back then, that the embers of love might begin to burn once again.
Remember the small things. After a while you just sort of get used to someone being there and you forget to do the little things (or there may be the likelihood that you never did. If so, now is the time to start) the less expensive the better. Little things like setting a cup of coffee on the nightstand next to a waking partner. Leaving little love notes around the house, or whatever small concession which communicates to your partner that you haven’t forgotten about him or her and still regard your partner as precious.
Here’s a fun project you can do, and if your partner joins in, it can pull your love out of the slump by remembering all the good things you love about your partner. Make a list. Write down all those things that you think are (or “were”) so adorable when your love was vibrant and alive. Share them with each other. Sometimes you just need to remember why you feel in love in the first place. Also, things can change over time, and maybe something you thought was an incredible quality in the beginning ended up being a nuisance later (don’t put those on the list).
Another powerful tool to use when the love flame starts to dim is to find new interests in each other. There are probably some interests that your partner finds exciting (or at least, interesting) which hasn’t particularly captured your interest in the past. Try learning about or trying to understand what your partner finds so fascinating about this particular thing or activity which you may have avoided altogether until now. You may be surprised how getting involved in your partner’s activity can set your love flame ablaze. The same can also be true for trying any completely new activity together, like a dance class, or parachuting (okay, maybe not parachuting).
Set up a private rendezvous with each other. No need to book a fancy hotel, you can lock yourself in your bedroom without cell phones or other devices, have a private picnic, and just “be” with each other, whatever that means for you, no holds barred. This can be an incredible opportunity for the two of you to reconnect, spend uninterrupted time with each other in a safe and familiar environment. You never know, intimate passion may also visit your private together-time.
Find ways to be playful by creating your own special language, so that you can say a particular word or phrase in a certain manner in public, and no one knows what’s going on, only the two of you know what it means. Find ways to play games with each other that create and grow intimacy while having a little fun while you’re at it. A little playful role-playing in public can go a long way. Maybe pretend like you’re hitting on your partner in a public place, as if you’ve never met him or her before.
Okay, here’s the two-part doozie, “Know what you want,” and, “ask for it.” You might be surprised to know that in the most unsuccessful relationships, either one or both partners don’t even know what they want or need in from their partner or the relationship. So start there. Note this is an advanced tactic because there is so much to be said for presentation. Yes, you want to be able to express what you want, and you should give your partner an opportunity to give you what you want, but you want to do it in a gentle and mindful fashion, so as not to put your partner on the defensive.
Can you think of other ways to rekindle the flame of love? If so, enter your comments below: