The perfect relationship looks like what?
If there were such a thing as the perfect relationship it would be the joining of two people who love unconditionally, honor, and respect each other fully for what they have in common, shared goals, individual goals, and passions, celebrating each other’s differences and helping each other do the deep inner work.
While the previous paragraph seems acceptable on the surface, it is a challenge which only the chosen few can even conceive of let alone accept or attempt to embrace.
Imagine what it might be like to love unconditionally. That means, “I love you no matter what.” No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I love you. Marianne Williamson calls it, “Love for no reason.” There is no, “I love you if…” for that is love for a reason. Unconditional love is just that: Unconditional.
When approached with the idea of authentic unconditional love, today’s contemporary independent thinking woman might immediately respond with a resounding, “Hell no.” and who could blame her? If that sounds like your first knee-jerk reaction to loving no matter what, realize that is your head talking. On the other hand, your heart might yearn for such a love. Consider listening to your heart, what does it say?
Don’t you long for someone to love you unconditionally, no matter what? Of course, you do. But for some reason (probably because you’ve had your heart broken in the past) you can’t imagine allowing yourself to be vulnerable to loving someone, like that, again.
How can you want what you’re unwilling to give? Because of a combination of unhealed emotional wounds from the past and the lack of self-love. I know, you feel like you love yourself well enough, but do you love yourself unconditionally?
Honoring and respecting what you and your partner have in common might be easy enough but truly embracing your partner’s differences, all of them, a lifetime of them, the good, the bad, the ugly… All of it, no matter what?
Remembering that you are, each of you, powerful individuals with your own unique and individual purpose, message, passion, and mission in life. Independently, you can live a better life, and make the world a better place, but together your efficacy can become more than the sum of its parts. Bound together in unconditional love your abilities are multiplied exponentially to live your best life together. Imagine the possibilities.
Supporting each other to do the deep inner work, in a sense mirroring your partner’s most tender sensitivities and challenges, can help to encourage the other to rise above his or her own demons, the deepest, most painful wounds hidden from life’s view.
This is the most difficult and messy work, and the person who is closest to you, the one with whom you share sacred space. The one who will not judge you when you are engulfed by your most vulnerable moments which may be full of a myriad of negative emotions. The one who will love you through this process “no matter what” can hold your hand and take you in loving embrace as you trudge through your deepest inner work.
This is the perfect person to be with, in your perfect relationship. Not a perfect person, by any means, for none of us is perfect, but perfectly matched for you, in all you share in common and everything that makes each of you, opposites. The one you can trust with the most intimate details of your life.
It takes a lifetime to learn all there is to know about yourself, who you really are, how you tick… In the perfect relationship, you could do this work in half the time, leaving you much more time in this life to make the world an even better place, together, hand-in-hand.
You can have your perfect relationship. Whether you transform your current relationship to your perfect relationship, or start from scratch, you can do this, if you dare.