Waiting for True Love

Sometimes when we’re in search of our significant other, life partner, or soulmate, we can get sidetracked by the part of the process which represents the time necessary for the (metaphorical) alignment of the planets.

When you are young and ruled by your biology seeking a mate to fulfill that part of your life’s calling to “be fruitful and multiply” Mother Nature is running the show on your behalf to accomplish her mission. At this point in your life experience, there is far less clarity in the definition of “true love.”

In those early days, Hollywood’s definition of true love is sufficient. Later in life (or for few of us, this can take place earlier in life), you can come to a point where you realize that Hollywood (who serves Mother Nature) has lied to you, and we understand that you are more than your biology and impulses wrapped in meat. And you look for a better idea of what true love really is.

From this perspective looking for true love takes on a decidedly different appearance. When once you might have been satisfied with aligning yourself with another person who satisfies your desires sufficiently, now your expectations take on a whole new light.

When you first start looking for love, you are much more spontaneous. You don’t realize how this relationship will affect your life, the lives of all the people around you, and the community or world at large. These concerns are not even on your radar, you didn’t even give a moment of thought to reflect on how this particular coupling might affect your whole world. All you know is that you are happy with the feeling of the moment and optimistically have a degree of faith in the hope that this will last.

After you’ve had some life experience (or possibly you realized this earlier in life), you realize that things often are not as they appear, and your expectation and desires are more advanced. Now, you know more about what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship, and you’re willing to relax, resist your biological impulses, and create the sacred space to adopt an attitude of,

Waiting for true love will have you carving out the sacred space and allowing that very special someone to show up who is uniquely matched for you to walk into the future hand-in-hand.

There is a train of thought which insists that it takes a year for you to have a better understanding of what a person is really like. This may not have held much importance when your hormones were running amok, but now you know that in the beginning of a courtship (normally) people are representing themselves in the best possible light. Some of these people might be pressuring you to make a heavy commitment early on because they know that you might be able to see them for who they really are, which might make you want to avoid entering into such a high level of commitment.

So, now you take the time to wait for true love to arrive.

While you are waiting for true love you are more keenly aware and looking for indications that you might be fairly certain that your potential partner possesses certain attributes which you desire and are important to your survival as a couple into the future.

The most important key components to be looking for in a potential partner include,

Trust

The most important component to have which is the keystone on a successful relationship is trust. You must be able to trust each other. When you are together, you know you can trust each other. You are not suspicious of your partner, and your partner is not suspicious of you because you know you have each other’s backs. You are connected and committed to each other and bulletproof if your trust in each other is unshakeable. You know that if you or your partner says something, you can count on it, and you know that neither of you would do anything to compromise the sanctity of the relationship.

Going the Same Way

If you are to have a longstanding successful relationship, you want to feel as relatively certain as possible that you and your partner are headed in the same direction in life. You will want to understand what things are important to your partner, and you want to be transparent about those things which are most resinous to you. They do not need to be the same things, but they do need to possess a certain compatibility to survive your journey together into the future.

You want to be going the same way, because you don’t want to wake up one day to find yourselves far apart from each other, on completely different paths, if it is your intention to have a co-creative life with each other that can survive the test of time.

Love Each Other

When you love each other, you make each other the priority and you celebrate your union as an extension of your combined energies. Successful couples are not just the putting together of two individuals, but the synergistic coupling of two powerful individuals which when combined create a greater entity together.

When you’re not together, you still hold a high regard for each other and think of each other often. When you love each other, you accept each other’s wants and desires and support each other’s pursuits, and are each other’s best friends. When you are confused, challenged, feeling awkward, or uncertain, you seek out each other to share openly and honestly, and you feel confident that your partner will support you and have your back.
Couples who really love each other anticipate being together and seek to experience new things together and create memorable events which can be looked back on, like a trail of breadcrumbs that lead to your expanded love together. Your love for each other is witnessed by your family and peers, and they respect and support your relationship, defending your right to successfully grow and co-create into the future.

If you are expected to find this special person, you cannot let yourself be distracted by someone else’s bells and whistles, smoke and mirrors, and you can only hope to do so if you are intent and committed to the idea of,