Religious Trauma the Invisible Disease

Religious trauma is an invisible debilitating disease which left to its own devices will reduce its victims to insanely obsessed hate-driven workaholic atheists on one end of the spectrum to barely functioning depressives with suicidal tendencies on the other.

The mental and emotional price which is paid by victims of religious trauma is just too much to fathom. So hard to comprehend, in fact, that society has little or no tolerance for it, unless it refers specifically to child sexual abuse, otherwise, any concerns one may have regarding religious trauma is seen as insignificant.

As far as society is concerned, just stop engaging with the religious organization which has upset you, find another one, or stop going altogether and take up a hobby to replace the void left by your vacating the religion. No big deal.

They have no idea the price which is paid for the total collapse of an entire belief system. It’s the kind of thing you could never be able to conceive of unless you’ve experienced it or seen it over and over again in your daily practice.

If you’ve been struck by religious trauma from the neck up, you’re confused, because your whole world’s been turned upside down. It’s hard to make sense of anything in the real world) if there were such a thing). I mean how can you know what’s right, what’s wrong, what should you do next? Especially in world that not long ago, any wrong decision or move, could end in sudden death, or even something far worse, like eternal damnation.

Your emotions are all over the map and you do your best to appear to be “normal” when you’re angry, hurt, unable to find joy in the simple things in life, lack or purpose, and suffering from unspoken grief of separation from community and “God,” for God’s sake.

You suffer the loss of friends and find it hard to trust anyone after you’ve suffered religious trauma, and you feel like a stranger in a strange land, surrounded by a million people whom you may have thought were “evil,” and trying to rectify the idea you’re now one of “them.”

And if you’ve been in the grip of an authoritative religion for a while (since childhood) God forbid! You’re lucky to have made it this far!

You are a super-mess. You have no idea how to function in the real world.

You have no concept of how to act “normal” and for those to try to fit in too soon, they often find themselves over-reacting, as if, since they no longer have any chance of being with God, then they should just engage in everything they’ve been told not to do, finding themselves suffering the consequences of really poor decision-making.

And if you’ve suffered mental, physical, and sexual abuse, in the name of God, you feel as if there is no hope for you, ever.

Those affected by religious trauma often find themselves diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and clinical depression. Along with a long list of mental disorders, including bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, anxiety, borderline personality, eating, social and anti-social, marital and sexual dysfunction, alcohol and drug abuse, suicidal ideation, trouble with the law, and criminal tendencies.

We read about the most extreme cases in the news, hear about it in the media, and online, after some poor victim has found themselves so far outside the idea of having any hope, their names are found anywhere from the front page to the obituaries, and the truth of their struggle with religious trauma may never be fully understood.

But there is hope.

Though help may not be easily found among the secular services which are commonly available via “the social system,” for there can be little empathy or understanding from those who have no idea what it might have been to suffer, as you have.

The bulk of this necessary work of recovery, healing, and charting a new path for you is primarily a solo journey, but there are many who do know what you’re going through, because they, too, have suffered in similar ways (likely not the same but similar). They know, and they pray for you.

They pray? They believe?

Yes, they have found their way to the other side of the trauma and abuse and have been able to realize that their suffering was at the hands of misled, possibly “evil” human beings falsely claiming authority of God, NOT by any deity.

They have not only survived, but they now thrive. So, yes, there is life, wonderfully abundant, joyful and loving life on the other side of religious trauma.

You can live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

See you at the Recovery from Religious Trauma Event in Olympia, September 21st

Religious Trauma Spiritual Abuse

Religious trauma is far more complicated a gnarly beast than you might think on the surface. Of course, the headlines are full of shocking reports of improprieties against the youngsters in devoutly religious families. These young people keep these deep, dark religious secrets until mid-life, after years of struggling with covering up and hiding the truth of the sins of those who they trusted to be God’s representatives.

There is no doubt that this would warp the minds, twist the consciousness, and cause psychological and physical manifestations which are extremely difficult to manage when attempting to integrate with other individuals in the adult world.

The bottling, pushing down, and hiding of it, cause it to rear its ugly head as dysfunction, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, or physical diseases, even cancer.

But there is a far more common type of spiritual abuse which takes place every day, in many (if not most) religious families the world over.

These types of spiritual abuse, or religious abuse, are not dissimilar to other types of abuse, except that they are propagated by religious leaders, their followers, fathers, mothers, and children of religious organizations all “in the name of God.”

Mental abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, all acts of God.

Or, at least, this is how it is represented, or received and/or understood by the victims of said religious or spiritual abuse.

These victims either succumb to the abuse as a necessary rite of passage into spirituality increasing their connection to God as they sacrifice their humanity as a benevolent offering or the abuse haunts and terrorizes them, until they break free from the organization, horrified that God would allow or condone such behavior.

There is no greater crime against humanity than using the highest power to manipulate, torture, or abuse another being, yet these criminals hide behind a protective barrier, which we call, “Freedom of religion.”

These victims, long after their abuse in a “do or die” last-ditch-effort to find a way to survive a life of religious trauma, are speaking out, holding their spiritual abusers accountable, and we read about their courage to do so in the headlines.

The most important thing to remember in all of this is that your victimizer was not God. No matter what he or she claims, God had nothing to do with these crimes against you. I know it feels like God is responsible, but there is no God involvement here, no matter what anyone says.

God is only love; that’s all. Anything that is not love is not God, and the perpetrators of these crimes against you were not representing God at the times when these atrocities were taking place.

And the next thought which occurs to you is, “Where was God?” Or, “How could God let this happen to me?” If your thoughts are left to themselves, following a brief pause, you may conclude, “There is no God.”

No one would blame you. And there are those who would be quick to agree with you.

Know this: God is love. God loves you more than anything, and you are God’s precious creation.

Religion is man’s attempt to reach out to, rationalize, and find God, but God is here, inside of you, all around you. There is not a God out there, hiding, waiting to be found. God is here.

Even when you feel like God is not here, God is here.

Now, it’s up to you, to find a safe place and protect yourself from further abuse, and seek your healing from vicious wounds and scars, both seen and unseen.

If you allow the crimes of this person, or these persons, to separate you from God, then they have exerted their prowess over you, and those who have victimized you, committed atrocities against you, they are the psychotic victors. They’ve won; because there is nothing they would like more than to have enough power over you to separate you from God. And in doing so, they endow themselves with god-like power.

A predatory religious psychopath is excited and finds extreme pleasure in the destruction of others. There is nothing that would please them more than you’re being depressed, miserable, in pain, constant struggle, and abandonment of any idea that there may be a creator or higher energy source that loves you, no matter what.

But, if you can find God on your own, in whatever way makes sense to you, to grow and expand faith and love in any way you can on your own terms, that person, or those persons, who sought to destroy you are rendered powerless, and YOU emerge victorious.

Becoming your highest and best version of yourself, living a better life, your best life, and making the world a better place in spite of all the horrors you have endured exemplifies that God is there, and those who sought to destroy you, failed miserably.

The road to recovery is not without its challenges, and you cannot do it wrong, but you can do this. This is your destiny, your calling. If you can survive this, there are others out there who desperately need to know there is hope for them, and you can help give them hope enough to make it one more day. And that one day can make all the difference.

You are priceless treasure.

Shine.

See you at the Recovery from Religious Trauma Event in Olympia, September 21st

Societal and Religious Programming

The biggest conspiracy of all time is the battle for the control of your mind. Everyone’s fighting for control of your mind, it’s a miracle if any of us can have a really original thought at all. Nonetheless, there is a growing number of people who are breaking free from societal and religious programming.

You can understand how truly miraculous any free thought could be, if you’re able to see how the cards are stacked against you from the moment you take your first breath.

The powers that be, those who desperately fight for control of you, will stop at nothing to make you believe what they want you to believe. The people (all humanity) is so much easier to manage en masse. So, societal engineers go about creating a wide variety of belief systems to herd the people into manageable groups. All this mysterious mental programming goes on behind the scenes so stealthily, that none of us (very few of us) are aware of it going on at all.

The system provides us with ample choices to select from which gives us the illusion of having freedom, and indeed, in this respect, we do have freedom of choice. To choose between this and that. To obey the laws or live a life of crime. To choose between to work for the State or private industry. To go to school to increase your ability to earn a living, or to find another way to support yourself.

To join a worthy non-profit service, fraternal organization, political party, or not. To work for the man or start your own business. To adopt a religious belief system (there are many to choose from) in a theistic manner, or not as an atheist, or anywhere in between.

So effective is this programming, that the system fully supports it in every way. Laws are created to enforce it and noncompliance is either a verifiable illegal act, or a mental disease or disorder which can be treated wither by restraint, drugs, therapy, or death by natural causes.

This is all done with the “best intentions,” to manipulate, control, and profit from all human inhabitants, but there are those who seek to exploit the individual members of these groups. These wolves in sheep’s clothing infiltrate all types of organizations under false pretenses to exploit its members.

Any of these organizations have varying degrees of built-in control mechanisms to further manage the details of the lives of those who participate within them. Religious organizations have the greatest degree of control for they “represent” the highest power in the world: God.
“God” and “Country” are the two largest contributors of premature death in the world.

Certain people (the majority of them) will gladly (or reluctantly) sacrifice their lives for either God, their country, or even more powerfully: both.

All this exercising of control is taking place while humans blindly follow and pledge their allegiance to these manipulating factions, while the religious psychopaths, and predators of all types who seek to victimize those who submit themselves to the dogma of the system, exploit the followers.

It’s no surprise the followers mostly from military or religious channels suffer from depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and have suicidal tendencies, for they have subjected themselves to drama, trauma, and abuse out of a sincere desire to serve either God or country.

To think that the very same people you have entrusted your life to, have taken advantage of you, tortured, and abused you in all manners, is an unfathomable concept. Yet, the truth of the matter is that it IS true.

As a regular common course of business, these victims visit the offices of coaches, counselors, and therapists every day in search of hope. We see them every day, and their painful stories would shock anyone.

So grateful are those of us who avail ourselves to them, that they have graced our offices with their presence before they either find themselves in penitentiaries or cemeteries.

This is in answer to our prayer.

Though we may not be able to help them all, we do our best in the hope that we might, by all means, save some.

Amen.

See you at the Recovery from Religious Trauma Event in Olympia, September 21st

Your Place in Space

If you might like to get a look-see under the hood to see the inner workings of your higher self and how you really fit in the cosmic sacredness of the perfect flow of the universe in all its divinity, you can come along with me as we clear our minds and begin to envelop ourselves in the unfiltered power of the universe.

If you haven’t done this before, be aware this exercise may well be outside your comfort zone, but if you’ll bear with me for a few minutes, you might be able to take a look beyond the veil of existence which you have sort of become accustomed to.

If you can see beyond the life you’ve allowed yourself to be restricted to and constrained by, you might be able to imagine what else is out there, and instead of asking, “Why me?” or feeling as though you’re not worthy or good enough to enjoy the best things in life in real and meaningful ways, you can start to ask yourself, “How much better does it get?”

To imagine the universe, as it is, and your sacred place within it, can be quite a stretch for you, so before we go there, let’s review what the universe looks like to you. Do you have a sense of how our planet is perfectly suspended in space, revolving around our sun, spinning at over a thousand miles per hour, amidst the stars and perfect synchronized clockwork of our ever-expanding universe?

Do you have a sense of curiosity, hopefulness, safety, security, or freedom when you look at pictures of space and the cosmos?

When you see aerial photos of Earth, can you see how amazing our planet is? From this vantage point, can you see how less significant your anxieties, challenges, and troubles are?

Can you see how very little matters from here, especially from a space-eye-view? From here, all the things that seem so important and meaningful to us, don’t hold much emotional impact as they do when our feet are firmly planted on the ground.

As you may have guessed, you will be joining me on a trip to this place in space, if you care to dare to.

To get ready for this little trip out to the universe, imagine a space-eye-view of our galaxy as it is, spinning perfectly in space.

With your eyes closed feel yourself, your conscious self, rising out of where you are sitting, right now, and rising above and beyond our planet.

Feel yourself soaring out into space, beyond the Milky Way, out into the vastness of space’s expanse, and allow your thoughts to expand into this space feeling as though you are one with all that is.

You are everything and everywhere out here in the universe, and ask yourself where you are. What is this place? In this place, who are you now? What are you now, in this moment?

Here, you are pure consciousness and love. From here, all those things which concern you so much from Earth, just don’t seem to matter anymore.

The media, the news, injustices what have occurred to you and others, the tragedies which plague our planet, society, religions, politics, all the drama, financial struggles, any stress and strain associated with life does not exist here, in this place. You are fully free and in the full energetic flow of all that is.

Allow your conscious to linger in the vastness of this place for a moment, try to take in the full awareness of all that is, without any limitations, and bask in the unrestrained expansiveness.

Now, slowly, allow your awareness to descend back to your awareness here on Earth, back to this room, this time and place in space, and the environment you’ve become so accustomed to that you call it home.

Allow a moment for your consciousness to reacclimate to your awareness of being home, then open your eyes.

Having had this very minimal fanciful excursion, how do you feel now?

Are you feeling more peaceful and serene than before the exercise?

If so, you are on your personal path to expansive evolution.

If you can allow yourself to engage in this exercise of basking in the presence of your place in space, even for just a few moments each day, you will notice things begin to change, things inside you, all around you, and all over the world, are changing in harmonic response to your new perspective.

You will find yourself reacting to life differently. Things that used to make you upset, lose their energetic control over you, as you become more aligned with your desire to feel at peace and experience joy in this life.

You are less likely to judge others, who (as you are increasingly able to recognize) are all doing the best they can with what they have, not unlike any of the rest of us.

This is a significant step outside of yourself as you begin your awakening process with the ability to see beyond the veil of existence, for life is so much more than simply existing for you, from this point forward.

May you be blessed on this new, exciting journey.

Where do you go from here?

I don’t know.

You tell me.

It’s Easier to Find What You’re Looking For

You might like to grow, expand, and evolve into your highest and best version of yourself. If so, you might expend a lot of thought, time, effort and financial resources in attaining such a desire. This may lead you to embark on a journey which leads you across the land in your pursuit, but there is a part of you to knows there are no great lengths that you must go through, no need to crawl on broken glass, walk across hot coals, or climb the highest mountain to find what you are looking for.

It’s easier to find what you’re looking for than you might think.

Everything you are searching for is inside of you. Even though you may feel like it is not, or if it is within, it must be deeply hidden and inaccessible. This is the lie. The biggest conspiracy of all time.

You can see this powerful light of light within if you look for it and will allow yourself to see it within. Finding it requires a journey, not without, but within yourself. This evolutionary journey leads to the exposure of you, all that you are, could have possibly imagined, and somehow knew was there all the while.

It requires some inner work, which will turn out to be your most important, deep, and best inner work which is necessary to unite yourself, the self that you’ve known until your awakening, with the you which is the culmination of all this life has offered you thus far, your most highly evolved self, and the unlimited treasure which awaits you as you become who you were meant to be in all your fullness in this life.

What, you might ask, is this deep inner work?

There is a tool which you were born with called your “imagination.” Your imagination is not the silliness of youth as you’ve been led to believe. The truth is THIS is the most powerful tool you have within you to access all the power and love of the universe to overcome and embrace any challenge you may have in this life, as well as opening all doors to your heart’s desires to you.

To overcome the programmed separation of your selves, you will need to go within, quieting the chatter of your programmed mind, using the power of your imagination. Doing so will allow you to view, even if vaguely at first, your highest and best self and the infinite power and possibilities which are available to you.

We call this process meditation, the quieting of your mind, looking to find solace in the space between your thoughts, enveloping your self in the nothingness. In this non-restrictive state of consciousness, you are able to access the pure power and sacred divinity of all that is, and begin to see yourself in the center of it all.

From this vantage point, all things make sense. Outside of it, well, all you can see are the inconsistencies and chaos of it all. Inside is quiet, calm, exquisite synchronicity, perfect timing, peace and harmonic balance in all things.

If you like, you may go into your place in space with me.

It’s Easy to Make the World a Better Place

When you look at the world as it is, it’s easy to make the world a better place based on what do you see, feel, do.

What do you see?

What you observe when you look at events that are taking place all around you or in the world, you do so based on where you are along a spectrum amidst the continuum of observation. On one end you might only be able to witness all the craziness and bad things that are happening. On the other end of the spectrum is only love, peace, and harmony in all things.

There is nothing wrong with seeing, and taking notice of, any of the things you are observing which resonate with you or cause you discomfort when you become aware of them. In fact, your having feelings about what you are witnessing is a key component in energizing the flow of that which you are an observant participant of.

What do you feel?

If you are a witness to a particular event which arouses certain good feeling vibrations, your energetic response supports and promotes the energy of the event taking place exponentially. At the very minimum, any area within three to five feet in any direction all around you is affected by the energy you feel about what you are viewing and participating in.

It doesn’t have to be live. The event you are participating in may be prerecorded, like viewing a video of a soldier coming home from war and surprising his son. Or your awareness may be piqued by your imagination, inspired by certain words you’ve read in a book. Whatever the source, you are observing, participating, and how you feel not only affects you but the world around you.

What do you do?

What you do next, based on how you feel, promotes what you’ve witnessed and how it made you feel a hundred-fold.

Let’s say you saw the video about the soldier’s homecoming who surprised his on Facebook. Seeing it made you feel good. So good, that your heart welled up with love and in the overflowing of emotion you wept tears of happiness. This immediately resonates within every cell of your body (boosting your immune system for hours) and everything around you.

Then inspired by the love you feel in that moment you take action and do something about it. You share it on Facebook. You’ve energetically promoted this powerful event with a hundred times the efficacy that it would have had, had you kept it to yourself. To add even more energy to it, you can promote it with even more energetic efficacy (2x) by adding any two personal words representing how you feel about it to the post. Four words, twice as much. Add two more (six words) double it again. ((100 x 2) x 2) x2. And on and on it goes.

Wow! You have a lot of power to promote good feeling vibrations and sending love to the world!

You. Just one person in the world.

And having done so, you have done a very good thing. You are a very powerful force for good in the world.

See, it’s easy to make the world a better place

It’s just as easy not to make the world a better place

One caveat: It’s just as easy to promote those things which you dislike about the world. If you can catch yourself within the first seven seconds, switch your state to the opposite and promote the positive, you can honor your observation of what you don’t want and make the world a better place.

Example: You see a news story about keeping people from crossing the borders and it upsets you. You could share the story along with a personal statement about how bad it is to do such a thing. You’ve just exponentially energized what you don’t want. Instead, if you can catch yourself within 7 seconds and share a positive story about how allowing loving and caring Americans to volunteer to sponsor or “adopt” those crossing the borders, can make the world a better place.

What Do You See?

How are you approaching life every day? When you observe your surroundings do you see drama and turmoil, or do you see divine synchronicity? When you start to awaken, to see things as they really are, not as you’ve been programmed to look at them, not only do things appear differently to you, but your attention and unique vantage point actually changes the world around you.

You could let the media influence your vantage point, allowing this data to pull your vibration into the muck and mire of it all, or you can see it from a bird’s eye view, to rise above and see the sacred, harmonious orchestra of life playing out all around you.

Everything perfectly timed and played out to perfection, and you can rest assured in the fact that you know, regardless of how things look at any particular time, that everything works out for good. Everything, every “thing,” whether it appears to be bad or good, each plays an integrative role in the whole of all that is.

And you know what? It’s all good.

If you’re not there, I know it sounds crazy the first time you hear it, but if you can find a way to bet there, you will discover, as so many other people are, as they continue to grow, expand, and evolve, a serene sense of calm strength, happiness, and peace in what others see as utter chaos.

When you look at the world, do you see a perfectly balanced group of really different people of varying races, backgrounds, ideals, hopes, and dreams, all trying to do the best they can given the options they’ve been given?

Or, do you see a bunch of people fighting for what they believe, trying to force others to be like them, willing to go to any extreme to force their particular view and compliance thereof on everyone else?

No matter which way you look at it, can you possibly conceive of the idea that this complex clockwork is all working together in perfect harmony to usher us into the new world that awaits?

Are you noticing the contrast? Does the contrast make you realize there must be a better way?

Is the contrast so great that you feel like if one person could make a difference? If only… Maybe you’re that one person who could make a difference?

Does this contrast make you want something different, something more?

Are you starting to see that things are not always as they appear to be?

Do you feel every cell in your body wanting to give in to the evolutionary process, empowering you, and any of us, all of us, to be more than we could ever imagine? If only we could break free from the invisible “cells” we’ve all allowed ourselves to be confined by.

This is true freedom. The freedom to grow, expand, to broaden your horizons, to be more than you ever allowed yourself to believe you could be.

Once you start to see this as a possibility for yourself, you might be able to understand there is an invaluable group of people all in the process of doing the same thing in their own way.

Now when you look at the world, you see it differently, as it really is, in all it’s sacred harmony, while you

Live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

You are an integral part of the evolution of humankind.

May you be blessed on your journey to achieving your highest and best.

August 2019 Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of August, here’s a quick screenshot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

Your Relationship is in Trouble Believing is Seeing Competitive Spirit
Are You Spiritual or An Ass? Spirit Guides Off-Grid Summit
Hope After Deceptive Love Making a Living from the Homestead What Did You Do Today?
Strong Not Broken Religious Psychopaths

 

 

Your Relationship is in Trouble What Can You Do?

It’s not uncommon for a couple to run into problems in a relationship because you really are two different people trying to live as a unified pair and it’s nearly impossible to pull that off without some inconsistency, suspicion, or misstep, for, after all, this is life, and very rarely are we able to move through life without challenge.

Challenges arrive in life to give us opportunities for growth. Without growth, we become mediocre and stagnant. While that may work for some who find survival and barely getting by as acceptable, you find yourself wanting more.

A little conflict opens opportunities for inviting something more into your life, and great conflict, even more.

Of course, no one is blaming you, but to respect your partner and the relationship you share will go a long way toward a bright future you can powerfully share together without allowing the fire of your shared flame to go out.

If your relationship is in trouble, what can you do?

Establish trust. When relationships get rocky, it normally is d to a deterioration of trust. Whether there has been an actual betrayal or not, one or both of the parties in this relationship is experiencing a lack of trust.

To build or rebuild trust, just try to be normal, reestablishing routine. You still want to allow room to grow and change but if you’re changing it up too much, too often, you may find your partner responding to red flags which do not actually exist, raising unfounded suspicions.

Try sticking to a predictable schedule so that your partner knows what to expect. This will make him or her feel more secure, but still, allow a little space for informed spontaneity. Switch it up a little bit every once and a while, just to breathe new life with a little unexpected joy into your relationship.

When you’re feeling awkward in your relationship, be open and honest about it. Otherwise, it will look like you’re covering something up (and you are, your feeling awkward, for whatever reason), and your uneasiness will be infectious. When your partner is left in the dark, it allows his or her imagination to go to some dark places. Be honest open, and invite the light of life to illuminate who you really are, including your quirks and inconsistencies, and don’t be afraid to share and ask, “What are your thoughts on this?”

Be congruent. Make sure you and how you present yourself is in alignment with what you really mean. Often, we find ourselves just going with the flow to avoid any potential conflict, but if your partner starts to pick up on your mixed energies, these could be misinterpreted as potential problem areas.

Being open and honest about who you are (I mean the real person you are beneath all your persona and façade) engenders trust. Being uniquely you, naked, afraid, needy, expressive, overreactive, and vulnerable is the biggest power move you can make in taking your relationship to the next level. Be you, and share all of you with your partner. When you’re holding back, you throttle your relationship’s potential.

We all bring stuff into a relationship, our inconsistencies, insecurities, trauma, and emotional wounds from our past, and some of us have better communication skills than others. This is not a competition, but a cooperation. If you find yourself in a situation where you have tried to express yourself and it was received incorrectly don’t panic or get defensive. Just try to be understanding and willing to restate what you were trying to say in a way that might be better interpreted by your partner.

If you are keeping secrets from your partner, you can expect trust to erode. I know, there are a million reasons to justify keeping secrets from your partner, just be aware that this energy will affect the relationship, and your partner will be aware that something is not right, even if you’ve been so careful to cover it up that he or she will not be able to figure out what’s really going on. You might be able to sustain a relationship long term while keeping secrets which are never disclosed but be aware that such a relationship will never achieve its highest potential.

As you move through life together, times change, you change, your expectations, needs, and desires change. Be open and loving about what you need, want, or expect.

Sometimes, you might feel like if there’s something that you want from your partner, you think that giving it to your partner will make him or her want to give it back to you. If you aren’t open about your intention and just expecting your partner to “get it,” don’t be surprised when he or she just thinks you’re being weird.

Be willing to put yourself “out there” enough to say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’d feel better about where we are and where we’re going if I could have a little more,” (fill in the blank). Of course, your partner might respond with, “Oh yeah, well I could use a little more…” No problem. This is an opportunity to get it out on the table and negotiate. Maybe there’s a way you can both get what you want.

Decline with dignity. If you find yourself giving in to things that do not resonate with you, start saying, “no,” to the things which do not serve you or do not make your heart sing. Keeping in mind also that it can be exciting to share something new, outside of your wheelhouse, just to mix things up.

If your partner is going through a self-destructive phase, you are under no obligation to participate. If you’ve come to the point that you cannot tolerate it, and you refuse to go down with your partner’s boat, there is no crime in getting off the boat. Just as long as you are open about removing yourself from the situation, which may include the relationship altogether. Then, be willing to walk away with your dignity intact.

Believing is Seeing

Wayne Dyer said, “You’ll see it when you believe it,” and he couldn’t have been more right. This is a cautionary concept that if you get the grasp of it, can set you free from the chains of belief which bind you.

Exercise caution in your beliefs because what you believe will present itself to you more and more. Your beliefs are unique only to you. Sure, people can try to stuff their beliefs into you, but only you control what you believe to be true.

Your beliefs are the most powerful structure in your life which determines just how happy, healthy, successful, and fulfilled you will be.

So, what do you want?

I’m still surprised when I ask someone what they want, and they just look back with that deer in the headlights stare, like, “What?” It’s as if they’ve never allowed themselves the luxury of even considering what might be their heart’s desire because it’s just too inconceivable that any good could be out there waiting for them.

Don’t let this be you.

Of this you can be sure: You can’t get from where you are to where you want to be if you have no idea where you want to go. Oh, sure, you can run off and end up somewhere, but you might be surprised at how familiar the new location is to your previous location.

Why? Because your beliefs are still the same, and this will determine your experiences.

Make a list of what you might like to see in your life, in your wildest dreams, and look at it every day.

Add some enthusiasm to support what you want to see in your life. Read books about what you want. Sing songs about your heart’s desires. Conduct Google searches about the life you’d like to live. Take courses and align yourself with others who have similar desires.

The more you can submerge yourself in the vibration of what you want and allow yourself to believe it is yours for the asking (and it is) the closer it comes to you.

When you see people having what it is that you want, reach out to them. Ask them, “How’d you do that?” Let them know that you love the idea that they have it, and you’d like to do it, too. They may just smile and walk away, or they might give you invaluable tips that might help you achieve the same.

You might be surprised at how well this works on social media, like Facebook. No need to be afraid. The worst that could happen is that they ignore your message. The best? If not purely an inspiration, they could become your mentor.

When you learn of ways that others have achieved those things in life which seem to elude you, keep in mind that whatever process worked for someone else may not work for you. While the information is invaluable, keep in mind that your journey to what you want will be unique in many ways, so find ways to reduce the gap between where you are and where you want to be which resonate with you, and you’ll find yourself going farther faster.

Keep focused on your heart’s desire, even if it appears to be so far off that you might think it might never come. Whatever you do, don’t give up on your dream, because if you do, you will definitely see what you believe. Don’t stop believing.

Stay steadfast in maintaining your positive vibration, finding the things in your life which bring you joy, and do more of those things, because the better you feel more often, the gap closes even more.

Believe in you, in what you want, and that you can have it, and it will come to you.

When you find yourself enjoying the anticipation of having whatever it is that you want more than the disappointment of not having it, there you will be in the midst of it all, and even more.