Organic Conversation

We are unique life forms on this planet, with the ability to conduct incredible internal processes of thinking and maintaining energetic connections and we are so blessed to be able to exchange thoughts and ideas with each other via interpersonal communication. While we are learning that everything living (and elemental, which does not appear to be alive) maintains an energetic communicative connection, we possess an expanded capability for maintaining connection and communication via language and conversational speech which increases our ability to have even more meaningful relationships.

The ability to converse one with another brings the world together, and when I meet someone from India in Las Vegas and we can easily communicate because we speak the same language, the idea that “it’s a small world after all” resonates so clearly in that moment.

So, doesn’t it make sense to use our skills of verbal communication as much as possible?

With the proliferation of cell phones and their ability to exchange texts and images, our ability to communicate via the spoken word is diminishing. It might be time to review what your cell phone use says about you and consider reaching out to others in the 3-D world, it doesn’t take much effort at all.

If you look up from your phone, you might be surprised to see the myriad of opportunities available to practice your gift and skills of conversation with another human being, even though the tendency is to look up from the phone and avoid connecting with another person, even if it means fake texting or communication via your phone (fubbing).

I mean, you could practice your skills of verbal communication with inanimate objects, like (and you might have to start there, or you already be talking to your) stuffed animals, trees or rocks but they’re unlikely to respond to you in conversation. If they do, that is a conversation of a different type we can talk about later. And while you can talk to your dog, cat or other pet, it is still unlikely you will be able to hone your skills of interactive communication much.

So, think about putting your phone away and look around. I was in line at the store yesterday, and everyone in line was on their phone except for a young man with an armload of spinach. I might not have even noticed the boy if I was engrossed in my phone waiting for my turn to pay the cashier for my groceries. It turns out he was an 11-year-old grandson, running errands for his grandmother so that he could earn money to get a new video game. When I mentioned that he and I were the only people in line without phones, he said the only reason he wasn’t on his was because it was in his pocket and his hands were full with spinach for his grandma.

You could spark a two-way communication with as little as a, “Hello,” spoken to another person, though you run the risk of being snubbed (or fubbed) if the person is on their cell phone. It can be difficult to break through to interactive verbal communication with someone who has developed a dependency with their phone.

How does this happen? It starts with having the basic need of feeling connected to other human beings, so we text someone, comment or post a status update on social media. When we get a response, view, like or share, a shot of Dopamine is administered to our nervous system which makes us feel good. The feel good part is good but the downside of Dopamine is that along with it comes a craving, a need to have more. This is how Cocaine, or any other addiction, works inside our physiology.

Thankfully, reaching out via interactive verbal communication does not carry with it the same addictive quality but does satisfy our need for connection, so it might be worth giving it a go. If you try it, you might like it.

Try taking advantage of the many opportunities you have each day to strike up an organic conversation with someone you pass by on the street, or have a bit of fun with the cashier at the checkout stand. I love watching the expression of cashiers who are surprised to have someone actually try to engage in a brief conversation while they are trying to conduct their business in a trance state. Often their job requires they greet you as part of their compulsory duties, little or no response is necessary or expected. It breaks them right out of their trance when you respond with a complete sentence, or better yet a question. Try this live, unrehearsed organic form of entertainment… plus you will have connected with someone (even if only briefly) and may have even lightened someone’s workload that day.

While it is difficult to compete with the addictive qualities of our electronic devices, finding healthy ways to reach out in organic conversation can help enrich the quality of your life and potentially have a positive impact on the life of someone else.

The key is in the doing of it. Simply decide to start small. Leave your phone in your car while you shop. It will be there when you get back. This is a good place to start, to see if it makes you more aware of the real world full of people looking to feel connection (not the superficial faux-connection offered by our electronic devices) and connect a little bit. Just see if you can make eye contact, smile and say, “Hi.” You can feel the connection, even if that’s all there is to it.

You can ramp up the intensity, if you dare, by finding something about them (or what’s in their basket) to comment or compliment them on. If they take the bait, now you’re exercising your ability to engage in organic conversation. Congratulations.

To increase the quality of your organic conversation, think about engaging the energy of your heart in the communication process. If you have a general feeling that you have concern and/or genuinely care about the person you are talking to, they will be able to feel it in your words. And if you can maintain eye contact and pause to intently listen to their words as they speak, this intensifies the connection even more.

All it takes is a little practice and, who knows? You may find yourself not bringing your cell phone to restaurants or meetings. The possibilities are endless.

We are the only life form on this planet with the ability to experience real connection in face to face interactions with organic conversation. Let’s not let technology take it away.

10 Questions for a Better Life

Are you ready for a better life?

If you are ready for a living a better life, you may find yourself asking yourself questions, like these:

1. What do I want?

When you’re reviewing your life, you may discover that you’re somewhat disappointed and you may think back to a time when you knew what you wanted, but have been overcome and overburdened by life to give it much thought lately.

Still, the day comes when you look around and realize that the life you are living does not represent what you want. So, what do you do?

Recall, record and get in tune with what you want. There is still time to get what you want, if you are willing to take action to line up your desires with your reality.

2. Should I change?

Am I the person I wanted to be? At the risk of being accused of morbidity, think about what your obituary might say about the kind of person you are today. Is that how you want to be remembered?

Oftentimes we hide the real identity of who we are deep inside ourselves, not allowing others to fully see us out of fear. Fear of not being accepted or honored for who we are. Fear of abuse or rejection.

Growth necessitates change. Maybe now is the time to readjust your life, how you live your life, integrate with others and offer value to the greater community.

With a pure heart, think about practices you can add to your life, the things you can do, that will impact the way others see you.

3. What’s the hidden treasure?

With hindsight being 20/20, looking back at your life can be an amazing adventure. If you’re able to look back at life’s situations and circumstance – especially the most difficult ones – you can find the hidden treasures buried beneath the surface of any negative experience.

No difficulty in life is experienced where there is not some hidden message or learning to be gained from the experience. Though it may not seem true in the moment, from a future vantage point you may have the wherewithal to see the data clearly enough to extrapolate the precious hidden treasure.

4. Do I love what I’m doing?

Living a passionate life in congruency with doing what you love to do is where life’s greatest satisfaction is found.

If you desire to live your best life, then you need to start doing the things you love and continue to do more and more of the things you love and less and less of the things that do not bring you joy.

Find ways to increase the doing of the things that bring you the greatest amount of pleasure, and outsource the things you’d rather not be doing, exponentially increasing your quality of life.

5. Do I love my life?

If you love your life, you often find yourself in a state of happiness and joy. You find yourself optimistically waking up each day with anticipation of what each new day will bring.

The more you find the best things in life permeating each and every day, the more goodness and things to be grateful for are attracted to the various moments of each day.

You get to set the tone for the day, so start each day with a smile on your face and say out loud, “I love my life!” and make it so.

6. Am I loved?

Love covers so many aspects of your life and (whether you’re willing to admit it or not) you desire to be loved. Do you feel loved?

Do your family, friends and peers love you? What about your significant other, or your children? Do you feel as though they really love you?

If you’re single, are you attracting the love you want?

The best way to have the love you want is to love others, like you would like to be loved. It sounds risky because you may have to be vulnerable and you might get hurt (yes, you may) but it will be worth it as you begin to receive the love you bestow upon others.

7. When is it my turn?

You may have found yourself always in the service of others, willing you sacrifice your own wants, needs and desires for the greater good.

Begrudgingly making your way through life self-sacrificially, as benevolent as it may be, is not your highest and best. You know you work and attention to others has been a worthy effort. Consider you are worthy of your reward.

Ask yourself, if now is the right time to start focusing more on the things that bring you happiness?

8. Do I want more?

Invariably, we find ourselves disappointed with our station in life, regardless of whether you live modestly or extravagantly, dissatisfaction is common, leaving us wanting more.

In many cases we find ourselves feeling as though we are undeserving, or unable to afford the things we desire, but nothing is further from the truth.

You can have whatever you want. Others are doing it who have fewer resources than you at this very moment.

That doesn’t mean to be irresponsible about it, taking out a second mortgage or pawning your wedding rings. No. Instead investigate and consider using the Law of Attraction to bring the things that you desire into your life without the sociological or financial trappings of debt accumulation.

Find ways to have all that you want out of your life’s abundance.

9. What turns me on?

What are those things by which you are enthusiastically motivated?

Make more time for the things that thrill and excite you. No need to rush off and try to do everything at once, just find or make opportunities to engage in those things that light your fire of enthusiasm.

10. What is my secret desire?

If you’re like me (and the rest of us on paths to live better lives) you have a secret desire, one that has been tucked away in the deepest recesses of your heart for some time, if not for your whole life.

You may have thought it not possible, you may have felt unworthy, but if you are reading these words and have the breath of life within you, there is still time.

Your secret desire is begging you to be realized and it’s up to you to bring it to life.

You’re asking the questions

You know the answers

Take action

And let today be the first day of the best of your life

Love Lies Why Lovers Lie

Why Do Lovers Lie?

When you enter into a committed relationship, an evolution takes place. As time goes on couples experience a metamorphosis as each of the participants grows and changes interdependently. Though they may be “one flesh” in the utmost romantic sense, they are still separate individuals both trying to do the best they can with what they have.

The only thing that truly bonds a couple together is the level of integrity and trust they have one for the other. If we can trust impeccably, be open and honest, we have the main ingredients of a highly successful and long lasting love life together. For if we do not have trust, what do we have?

As each lover evolves, there may be moments in time when they may be out of sync with their counterpart. What then?

Do you say, “This isn’t working for me; see ya,” as you depart with little concern for the former mate left behind?

Or do you lie and say, “I love you. Everything’s okay. You mean the world to me, nothing could come between us.”

Relationships are hard and no matter how we try to establish hard and fast rules for relationships, it is nearly impossible to have textbook answers for every conceivable scenario. We, as human beings, are far too complex for that.

While there are liars who selfishly lie to the extreme (we call them pathological liars) without regard to others (even if it appears to not be necessary to lie at all), alternatively we are talking about compassionate liars cohabitating in the space somewhere within the bounds of love.

While being totally open and honest are vastly important in relationships, being too open and honest can easily render a relationship null and void. Sometimes in a long term romance, the ability to lie is not only warranted, but may be a necessary component of romantic survivability.

Indeed, a long-term successful and loving relationship between two people consists or a delicate balance between truthfulness and deceit. Just ask any individual alone and off-camera who is part of a successful couple that has enjoyed a state of relationship bliss for many years what is the secret to their long-standing love affair? The answer (if conveyed honestly) will reference the delicate balance between truth and lies.

Why lie in a loving relationship?

For the sake of the big picture, in a selfless effort to preserve all that is sacred in a relationship, the occasion may (and often will) arise when the importance and reverence for the relationship exceeds the need to assert an opinion, fact or truth which might cause harm to the sacredness of the couple’s bond. Thereby justifying a bit of tale-telling to ease past what might have been a difficult situation that may have compromised the relationship or led to its dissolution altogether.

Let’s assume for a moment that the emotional spectrum of a relationship spans from love and acceptance on one end and anger and judgment on the other. Lovers often balance delicate of critical issues by where the consequence will end up on this spectrum. The unbridled truth may end up putting the relationship at risk by hurling it all the way into anger and judgment, while a love lie might not put the relationship at risk at all.

We learned this method of mitigating emotional-charged relationships in our youth. Where the truth may have sent our parents into a fury-filled emotional outburst with negative results, a little lie would sidestep the darkness and pain of disappointment and or impending punishment, and all was well.

I’m not saying it’s wrong or right. No two relationships can possibly be compared and everyone needs to find their own way. These types of “love lies” for the most part will go by completely unnoticed, except in the instances where the deception is interrupted by the otherwise naïve other lover. If we are honest, we would all admit that we do this to some degree without intent of malice.

In fact, we may tell a love lie because we love, honor and respect our mate so much, that we might do or say anything in support of the other and increase our love one for the other, even though our heart may not be totally vested at that particular moment in time. In most cases the love lie goes unnoticed and a greater love prevails.

When the one of the lovers discovers a love lie unawares, the couple needs to address the issue of the existence of this kind of deceit within the relationship. Each couple will have their own unique strategy for dealing with these types of inconsistencies.

The hardest road of all for a couple to attempt to maintain is that of complete and utter honesty regardless of the feelings of the other lover. In some cases this can work, but it takes a unique chemistry between two individuals who can manage such a relationship for long.

This is the emotional high road that if navigated correctly, with love and tolerance, without anger or judgment , we simply accept things as they are and allow each other to be without taking the unbridled truth personally or as an assault to be defended against.

For the rest of us, we try to set and manage boundaries for truth and honesty and believe that our love will survive the test of time, if we truly honor and value each other and the relationship as a whole.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Live Healthy Exercise and Eat

You’ve come to that point in your life where you know things have got to change for you to start living the life you want to live. You’re starting to change your thought processes, you’re getting more in tune with your heart and life’s purpose. This new sense of meaning creates an empowered perspective as you continue to find ways to optimize your human experience while you are here in the third dimension on planet earth.

As you make the necessary adjustments in your life, you’re living a better life and every change you make lights the way for new changes to allow as you evolve into the new, more advanced and enlightened version of yourself. Your attention is drawn to your reflection in the mirror.

While you’re feeling better than ever and your countenance has a certain glow about it, you’re thinking you’ve been given charge of your body, this earthly vessel referred to as the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) and you begin to think, “I could do better,” as you contemplate a healthier approach to honoring your earth suit.

If you’re like me (the author of Don’t Diet or Exercise) you may be somewhat resistant to the idea of exercising and eating right. While the New Year looms only days away, you consider looking for ways to enhance your fitness as your challenge of the year.

Looking over the vast array of a hugely monetary-infused industry, everyone has a different spin on what it takes to live healthy.

As my gift to you, I will demystify the healthy living challenge by reducing it to its simplest and most brief process, as follows:

Exercise

Unfortunately, this is where you have to start, but it doesn’t have to be as brutal as it might sound if you’re contemplating exercise for the first time.

Question: What can you expect from adding a little exercise to your weekly regimen? Answer: Increased energy, cognitive abilities, fat-burning weight loss and longevity, just to name a few.

In an effort to get right down to it, all you really have to do to optimize your health is to exercise and eat right. In term of exercise all you need is 20 to 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and 20 to 25 minutes of resistance training four times per week.

Eat

As far as the diet portion of your optimal health program for the next year, all you need to remember is this:

  • Drink at least eight 8-oz. glasses of water during the day
  • Eat numerous tiny meals (optimally four) and a couple of small snacks during the day
  • Limit your fat ingestion to no more than what’s essential for sufficient flavor

Balance your meals by including

  • palm-sized portions of proteins
  • fist-sized portions of complex carbohydrates
  • fist-sized portions of vegetables and fruits

Don’t Overdo It

No need to jump in over your head, just start with baby steps at the shallow end and work your way more and more into achieving your exercise and eating goals. Just start small and increase a little each week, or month, instead of overwhelming yourself all at once.

What to expect

Weeks 1-8: Feeling better and having more energy
Month 2-6: Losing inches and becoming leaner. Clothes fit better as you gain muscle and lose fat.
After 6 months: Losing weight more rapidly, looking and feeling better than ever.

 

You Are the Best

The least we can ever expect of ourselves and the most we could ever expect from anyone else is the idea that we are all doing the best we can with what we have. After all, we’re all in this life together, each of us doing the best we can and you are the best you can be.

One can’t help but look around and notice that some people seem to be doing a little better with their share than others. Aren’t we all born with the same inalienable rights? Most of us are fortunate to have the same number of limbs, fingers and toes. We all have the same potential for achieving our highest and best, yet for some it appears to be easier to achieve goals than others.

Any of us, regardless of family, fortune, sense of entitlement – or the lack thereof – can at any moment decide to live a better life. A life focused on maximizing our individual potential and achieving heightened states of satisfaction, well being, love and happiness.

If you choose to, you can be one of the growing numbers of individuals taking action to make their lives better and even affect our communities and the world at large in a positive way. If you’re one of us, you’re mindful about what the future holds while taking the steps necessary to protect, preserve and enhance the life you are living each day, living your life on your own terms.

While making your own way is your primary motivation, you honor those who have gone before and are making their own way at the same time. Respectfully admiring others who are also making progress along the way (those who may be steps or miles ahead of you) without jealousy raises your personal vibration, allowing you to make better progress in less time.

This is why we monitor and celebrate the successes of others achieving their highest any best. Not just because it encourages them to achieve even more, but it also impacts the way we see our potential increasing before our very eyes. And if we’re listening closely, we may even discover insights from others, making our individual journeys more efficient, less prone to the missteps of others who have preceded us on the path to whatever we desire to achieve.

Hidden deep within the recess of your heart is everything you need to achieve your highest and best, and if you listen, you can hear its harkening to you, encouraging you, taunting you, daring you to take the challenge of breaking away from the mediocre and mundane to launch toward the massively magnificent future that waits just beyond the veil; the veil that society has tried to hardwire within you to keep you from seeing the possibilities, the gifts and treasures that were meant for you to enjoy fully.

As you listen, this still small voice grows and becomes more reasonable as you consider this may be the life that you had intended to live from the beginning and you ponder the idea that your life may have meaning and purpose… and yes, you do; if you only knew.

So, you take action. A step – possibly a very small step – or a succession of steps and you begin to feel like. “Yes, this is really possible.” You keep moving. And you may even challenge yourself by setting a goal. It could be any goal, lose five pounds, make the bed, take a shower every day, or save twenty dollars a week, etc. It doesn’t really matter, you set a goal (whatever it is) and you achieve it.

How empowering!

You realize – in real time – that you are the master of your fate. If you could set one simple goal and see it through to completion, you come to the realization that you are the creator of your own life. You no longer have to reside yourself to just being a cog in the machine of life, you are beginning to understand you are in control, as your life’s purpose is beckoning you to grasp firmly and keep advancing.

You already know what it’s like to live a life devoid of meaning or purpose. Life loses its flavor, relationships are acceptable pieces of a mediocre life and nothing seems to satisfy any desire for accomplishment. You start to feel as though nothing good could come from your professional endeavors – no matter how hard you try – or from interpersonal relationships. Little turns out like you planned and even if it did, it just doesn’t seem to be all you thought it should have been. Any reward for your life’s accomplishment(s) just do not hold the shine that you expected and you ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”

Not to worry, it’s not your fault. Even though society doesn’t want you to realize it, you’re considering the truth of the matter. Your life – the life you live every day with all its qualities, challenges and confusion – is a direct result of the vibration of your projected energy field which is energized by your thought process. This electromagnetic field attracts the life that is a perfect match to your personal vibration.

The good news is you can change your vibration by changing your thoughts, thereby attracting a completely different kind of life.

This is the basis of the awakening which permeates the societal underground as one by one we start to understand there is so much more to this life than we were led to believe. You are realizing the whole, “get a good education so you can get a good job, married, a mortgage, raise a family, retire and enjoy your golden years” thing is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Now you’re coming around to the understanding of finding and following your life’s purpose is not only satisfying but so enjoyable as you align your life for a more significant and meaningful life, where each day is full of exciting opportunities to advance even further as you gravitate toward all the good things this life has to offer.

You’re not settling for second best or allowing anyone else to dictate the life you will live, and you understand that everyone else is, like you, only doing the best they can with what they have. You don’t need them to follow you along your path as you encourage them to find their own way, enjoy the moments (if any) where your paths intersect along the way.

Life is not a destination but a journey; your journey.

Listen to your heart, it will guide you along the way as you embrace your purpose and sing your song, enjoying a far more satisfying life and making the world a better place.

Self Destruct

Why do I have a tendency to self destruct? Am I my own worst enemy? Why am I so self destructive? What is wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?

It’s not just President Trump who has the power to destroy the world with the push of a button, we all have this power to destroy worlds within our own universe and bring the end of the world as we know it.

Sometimes, we burn bridges, pour gas on people whom we feel have wronged us, light the match and walk away. Occasionally we hit the self-destruct button or just nuke the whole shebang.

Why you would do such a thing is beyond me, and years of therapeutic process may (or may not) help to uncover the roots of one’s self destructive behavior.

Am I immune from having a tendency to self destruct? No, I don’t think anyone is immune from some form of self sabotage.

Regrettably, I’ve dropped a few bombs myself. I think we all do it when we’ve felt hurt, betrayed or disrespected. When your feelings are hurt, striking out in self defense seems like the best option at the time, so you hit the button… and in that moment, you feel better about yourself.

You feel better than feeling hurt when you’ve struck back. You might even feel really good… for a while.

You might even feel like your life will be so much better without this-or-that in your life at all, so you rationalize total decimation is not only warranted but acceptable or preferable. You are happy you pushed the button.

In the case of physical abuse, certainly methods of isolating yourself from others in a way that prevents further abuse are worth contemplating.

Do you have to destroy everything?

This is an important question to ask yourself before you push the button. When you’re considering lighting a match, pulling the trigger, pushing the button or dropping a bomb, asking yourself,

What are the far reaching effects of this destruction?

May be worth the momentary pause or distraction before you launch your attack (or counter attack), even if for consideration for the briefest of moments.

Oftentimes, the actions that we take – especially those actions conducted in the heat of the moment – do not serve us well in the long-run. At some time following the taking of such an action, we begin to realize this, start to feel bad (remorse), possibly even guilt, sorrow or depression.

We find ourselves struggling with our decision to lash out, often in ways that are irreparable as the damage was done, ever so effectively. What felt like self-defense at the time often leads to self destruction.

Is there a better way?

Yes. Self preservation is important. It is likely that you are the only person who is going to truly protect you or seek to defend who you are or what you believe. When it comes down to it, you’re all you’ve got.

So for god’s sake don’t do more harm than good.

Wisdom based on history and viewed through the eyes of love would dictate that in most (if not all) cases war is not the best option. Seeking inoffensive ways to protect one’s self are far more prudent and effective over time.

It’s hard to find balance between revenge and tolerance when our feelings are hurt or our ego is running amok.

Nonetheless, it is in these moments that we must find ways to retreat, find a place of solace or sanctuary, allowing us the repose necessary to ask the questions, “Is this destruction necessary?” and “What are the far-reaching implications?”

From a peaceful perspective and/or contemplative state, you may be willing to consider other options as you ask, “Is this truly in my best interest?”

Will this action lead to regret or self-destruction, or am I achieving my highest and best?

Is this my highest and best?

This is the life-affirming bottom line. If you are on a path to achieve your highest and best, is the action you are about to take helping you to stay on the high road, or have you somehow become derailed and are headed down a path leading to self destruct?

If there is any way possible, take the time to pause, re-evaluate and get back on track before you say or do something that you can’t take back.

Left Behind

You’ve loved and you’ve lost. Sometimes you suffer the most incredible loss of all: A loved one has passed on to the other side and you’ve been left behind.

There is no greater pain of separation. Familiar songs, scenic moments, thousands of triggers immediately smash through your heart and you can feel the blood flowing out of your life, crippling you as you drop to your knees in despair.

There is no darker or lonelier place to be as you are overcome with the thoughts crashing through your mind, the lost opportunities, things left unsaid and an endless repertoire of if onlies…

And no time of year is worse than the holiday season, when songs, shows and sounds instantly take you back to this dark place causing your heart to dissolve into hopeless nothingness, as it becomes never more apparent than this moment in time when may have never felt so abandoned and alone.

Yet, amidst all this pain of separation, your loved one is reaching out to you with everything they can, to let you know

You Are Never Alone

You are never alone and your loved one is not that far away.

If you could hear what they are trying to tell you, you could understand they have never been so happy and they do not feel the sense of loss that you feel because they are always with you. In fact, they’ve never loved you more than they do now, because on the other side they have an unlimited capacity to love, care about you and enjoy every breath you take and every move you make as they walk alongside you every step of the way.

It’s so hard for us to wrap our heads around such an idea because all we can feel is the pain of separation, yet nothing is further from the truth.

If you could just allow your attention to shift to the perspective of your loved one, you would see such a different scene.

You would see your happy, healthy loved one looking their best and feeling better than possible in the dimension where we live our lives. They are free to walk alongside us, see everything, all the while loving us more deeply than ever. Sharing every moment.

Occasionally, they are overwhelmed by your sense of separation and take you in the most heartfelt loving embrace, loving you and every cell of your being. You can’t see them, but they find ways to signal this loving embrace to you the only way they can.

A song comes on the radio, you find yourself in familiar surroundings, you hear their name, or think you hear their voice saying your name, the phone rings and there’s no one there, or a million other possible signs trigger a massive, overwhelming feeling deep within your soul.

And you are loved, so loved that it is unfathomable and not knowing otherwise, the only sense you can make of it is that you have been painfully left behind but you are loved, loved more than ever before.

But it all gets lost in translation because though they can see us, we cannot see them.

If you could just allow it for a moment, the next time you feel this overwhelming sense of feeling coming on, try to see the even through the eyes of your loved one.

If you’re like me, your tears of desperation change instantly to tears of admiration and joy as you are so grateful for your loved one reaching out and loving you in such a miraculous cross-dimensional manner.

Have something to say? They already know, but they are listening right now. Take this time to say it, they’re listening and loving you, waiting to hear your words.

Love and life keep getting better and even more amazing if you would just allow it.

If you’re allowing, here it comes…

Raise Your Love Vibration

Everything you experience in life is a direct result of – and attractive response to – your personal vibration. You can raise your love vibration. Your heart’s energy field emits a frequency which is always a perfect match to what you experience in the 3-D world where we live.

Many of us struggle with the idea that our love life has little to do with ourselves and more to do with the people whom we have invited (or who have imposed themselves) into our love lives and assume the role of a victim of love resulting in our broken hearts. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

Reduced to its simplest form, you attract love interests which are a perfect match to your love vibration or frequency. If you want to change the kind of lover you are attracting, change your love frequency.

Change Your Love Frequency

So, how do you change your love frequency?

You can change your love frequency, or vibration, by making adjustments in the way that you live your life and interact with others. Your love vibration is based on a combination of how you love yourself and how your love is expressed to others.

Fortunately, this is not as freakishly spiritual or “Woo woo” as it might sound (though there are hundreds, if not thousands of esoteric ways to accomplish a similar result). Lucky for you, there are 20 very basic practical adjustments that you can make to your life that can have a significant impact on your love vibration.

Here are 10 fundamental areas of your life you can tweak to change your love frequency:

1 Eat: Nutritious foods, avoid junk food and sugar. Eat when hungry and stop when satiated
2 Move: Get some exercise, take a walk, ride a bike, go to the gym
3 Organize: Keep your work and home environments clean and systemetized
4 Sleep: Get adequate rest and sleep, even consider taking a nap
5 Take Out the Trash: The media trash, that is. Limit your exposure to negative news, literature and conversation
6 Work and Play: Create a balance between work and recreation. Make sure you have time to complete work-related tasks, as well as time to learn, play, create or do nothing at all, if you like
7 Support System: Create a supportive environment of good people who love and care about you
8 Time Management: Be more conscious about how you manage your time. Arrive to meetings, appointments and events on time, paying bills on time, etc.
9 Love Yourself: Decide to practice self-care, be compassionate with yourself, without judgment or beating yourself up with negative self-talk
10 Balance: Create a balance between time spent alone and with others

Here are 10 ideas to affect changing your love vibration/frequency as it relates to others:

1 Kindness: Be kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
2 Edify: Resist putting others down. Lift them up with words of encouragement.
3 Supportive: Be less selfish, or automatically resisting what another wants from you. Be supportive, respectful and play nice.
4 Affirmative: Say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes.
5 Martyrdom: No more self-sacrificing, or just going along with something you don’t want to do.
6 Represent: Maintain your own sense of self without trying to change or control others.
7 Truth: Speak your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable. Take action for yourself based on your truth.
8 Stance: Take personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim or making others responsible for how you feel.
9 Tolerance: Accept your lack of control over others, accepting them as who they are without judgment.
10 Balance: Create a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.

Integrating these 20 tweaks to your life will raise your love vibration and help to attract the love you desire.

You can quickly and easily raise your love vibration by joining me in this brief Raise Your Love Vibration Meditation.

See also: Raise Your Love Vibration to Love and Above

 

How to Heal a Broken Heart

Heartbreak can be one of the darkest and most painful of emotional states. One who suffers from a broken heart can experience sever physiological pain, such as being punched in the gut and may lead to a sinking sense of helplessness and/or clinical depression. If you’ve ever suffered from a tragic loss, you already know why it’s important to understand how to heal a broken heart.

When undertaking the healing of a broken heart, there is no quick fix. Especially if you’re suffering deeply seated trauma with gut wrenching pain, healing your broken heart will take some time for the process to lead to a healthy recovery, but there are steps you can take to relieve the pain and stress of your loss.

As a natural process of healing from a broken heart, like any Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), time heals all wounds. So be patient and consider the following tips to help overcome both the psychological and physiological pain and discomfort from your broken heart.

1. Cry

You are going to feel like crap for the first few weeks. Depending how emotional of a person you are, you may feel like crying for days. Go ahead.

A significant change has occurred in your life; a painful change. There is no way to expect that you will feel a little sadness and be able to shut it off with a switch. It’s just not that simple.

Allow yourself to grieve for your loss. But not too long! Staying in the past for too long can only hurt you. See tip number 5.

2. Love Balloon Therapy

The Love Balloon Method is an effective method to mitigate the emotional pain associated with your broken heart.

This process only takes a few minutes and can supply you with the pain relief and wherewithal to give you the cognition to move toward healthy healing, while retaining the learning associated with the relationship and/or events which led to your broken heart.

3. Talk to Someone Close

Use the shoulder of someone who cares about you to get out your feelings. This is a way to purify your soul by letting someone in to share your pain. Let them listen, comfort you, and offer advice. You don’t necessarily have to take that advice, but sharing this comfort can make you feel better.

Make sure you only allow yourself to grieve and lean on someone for a time because you need to move forward.

4. Distract Yourself

Bring friends you care about back into your life. Maybe having the relationship was keeping you from spending time with your parents, or siblings. Maybe you hadn’t talked to your best friend in weeks. Surround yourself with this support network.

Getting things that need to be done around the house done is a great way to get lost in a project. Go to the gym. Organize your closet. Get out and take a walk.

Distracting yourself is a great stepping stone to moving on with your life. This brings us to tip number 5.

5. Look toward the Future; Forget the Past

Once you have allowed yourself the indulgence of grieving for a part of your life that is now past, look forward!

You need to be able to live a better life – your best life – and make the world a better place.

Now that you are past the sadness and anger, it is time for hope and renewal that will help you to move on.

Take time out for yourself; get to know yourself as a single individual instead of as part of a couple.

Replenish your soul by becoming you again.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

Map It Out and Do It

Today’s the day you’ve decided to take action and start living a better life. You’ve thought about it, even talked about it but today is the day your entire being, body, soul and spirit, is aligned with the idea of actually taking the action necessary to life a different, wildly meaningful life and contributing to making the world a better place as you humbly differentiate yourself from who you were yesterday.

Taking action unlocks the door to your new life.

What are you going to do?

Today’s the day, but what are you going to do to start living your new life? Then, after you’ve done it, what will you do after that? What about tomorrow or the next day?

While taking action has gotten you through the doorway to your new life, having a detailed plan is the map keeping you on track, getting you from where you are to where you want to be.

You’re taking action and each step (or action) that you take moves you a little closer to the life you desire. Every step is cumulative and moves you closer to where you want to be – if – the step you’re taking is in the direction of what you want. Steps taken this way, or that, are steps taken and are not without value, as these missteps often have meaning, education and knowledge that can be used when you resume your journey to your new life. Taking deliberate steps focused on moving you closer to your destination gets you there more rapidly.

Having a map is an invaluable tool in navigating your life, keeping in mind that you must allow your internal GPS allow for recalculating based on new information as it becomes available along the way. So, if you’re ready (and I know you are) let’s get to mapping out your journey.

Reduced to its simplest form, your map is based on my grandfather’s formula:

What You Want + What You Do = What You Get

Let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to start), according to grandpa’s formula, you need to know what you want.

What Do You Want?

Doesn’t really matter what you want, long as you know what it is. Whatever your destination is from losing 20 pounds to accumulating a million (or a billion) dollars, and everything in between, you must know where you’re going and have an idea about when you’d like to get there.

By knowing when you want what you want helps to make your thought more real as you move toward it and it begins to materialize. The “when” offers you periodic intervals to review your progress and can keep your observation skills honed on clues to see indications that you are nearing your destination. Without an estimated time of arrival (ETA), you could wander endlessly and be lucky if you ever arrived at all.

Once you have a clear idea about where you want to be and when, write it down. You have to take the idea from the invisible ethers and invite it into your 3D world by delineating it on paper. You can do it on your computer, but I think it’s better to create a physical map that you can hold in your hands as part of the conversion from thought to real world, as well as having a copy on your other devices, so that you can have access to it at any time on any device.

Now that you have a starting point and an ending point on your map, you can chunk your when into manageable sections, that can be reviewed and adjustments made if necessary along the way. Let’s say you wanted to lose 20 pounds in five weeks. Divided into weekly chunks, that would be a weight loss goal of four pounds per week. Every week you can weigh in and see where you are in comparison to where you want to be and decide whether celebration or buckling-down is more prudent for you for the next week.

[Wk 1: 4 LBS] – [Wk 2: 8 LBS] – [Wk 3: 12 LBS] – [Wk 4: 16 LBS] – [Wk 5: 20 LBS]

With manageable chunks or mile markers, you can have maps between each to optimize your advancement along the way. In this example, you might specify a particular diet plan each week to keep your weight loss goals moving the way that you want.

In this manner, each week could have a daily list of things to do to accomplish your goals along the way, such as eating meals of a particular content at specific times with healthy snacks in between and a 20 minute exercise break. At the end of every day you can review your daily progress and celebrate when you’ve successfully completed your daily to-dos, as well as each week’s celebration – including rewards for achievement – for meeting your goals.

Your commitment in the doingness – or taking action – to follow your map will assure you arrive at your destination. Keep moving and maintain a positive attitude. Use whatever skills and tools you have access to in making your dream come true. Use your imagination to visualize you, celebrating at the end of the road. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, smell like and taste like?

Keep On Keepin’ On

Keep it moving. Don’t let nay sayers dissuade you, knock you down or derail your journey. This isn’t about anyone else but you. Certainly things will come up and thwart the best laid plans and intentions, but don’t let it get you down and by all means,

Don’t Quit

To be the hero in your own story, stay focused on the prize even in the face of adversity. No broken hearts or spirits are allowed (for long) decide, “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break-a my stride…” For god’s sake, don’t quit.

You got this.