Have I Got a Deal for You…

You know what I’m talking about… You’re working along, building your business, following your path, executing your mission, doing your thing, and all of a sudden you run across an inspiring individual who presents you with the deal of the century, as he says,

“Have I got a deal for you…”

Oh, this deal is so great, a real ground floor opportunity. You’re presented with “facts and figures” mixed with optimistic speculation, and it sounds like such a good deal. You’re reminded of all the rags to riches stories you’ve heard throughout your life, and you’ve though, “If only I’d been in the right place, at the right time.”

The pitchman assures you, “This is your chance to hit the big time, all in one fail swoop.”

You think about how hard you’re working, how diligent and faithful you’ve been to your own project, and sometimes, you must admit, it’s seems more like work than you thought it would be when you first signed on.”

If this opportunity worked out, it needn’t require all of your focus. You could just basically dabble in it for a while and use the financial windfall to fund your real project, pay for what you need to get to the next level, or answer your true calling.

Plus, you’ve made sacrifices. Sacrifices who have also cost those around you, the people you care about. You’ve been working late hours, not taken high quality vacations, or spent the kind of time you’d like to with family and friends.

This opportunity would make the world right; and it only costs $X.xx amount to get started. Not unlike any of the headlines of stories you’ve heard about others who made a modest investment, taking a chance on something unfamiliar to them, and they became rich beyond their wildest dreams.

If your payroll was $27,000 and all you had was $5,000, would you withdraw the $5K and risk it in an all-or-nothing gamble in Vegas? (Okay, maybe not a good example, because Fred Smith did that, and ended up saving a young FedEx from extinction.)

I know, you’ve heard a multitude of lucky gambles, and you might try something that bold, and end up losing it all.

This is nothing new, people following their path, diligently doing the work to build their thing, being faithful and earnest, often suffer from Shiny Object Syndrome, with the hope that some miracle will help them enjoy the fruits of their labor, without all the labor.

There’s nothing wrong with being involved in more than one project at a time. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to build your holdings exponentially. Keep in mind though that for those who have done so successfully, proceed with caution in succession. That means they,

Get One Done

They complete one project, and get it to a place where it is self-sustainable, then consider adding another project or property.

If you do not do this, it may be the death-blow to your otherwise successful career.

We all love entertaining the idea of shiny objects, or imagining how the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, and there is no doubt that spreading your investments over a wide range of cyclical investments can add incredible stability to your organization and increase your efforts exponentially. But you can’t put the cart in front of the horse and expect a prudent outcome.

Your horse is what you’re tending to now. Take care of your horse until it is healthy and able to be profitable enough to cover its own expenses, caretaker and vet bills. Then, you can think about taking on another horse, creating, inventing, or investing in something “shiny” to add to your holdings.

You will get many opportunities presented by folks taunting, “Have I got a deal for you…” Thank them for sharing, and stay focused on your dream. Don’t put your dream at risk by being distracted by other opportunities that might end up in the loss of everything you’ve work for.

You got this.

Angel Encounters

What are the chances you will experience an angel encounter in your lifetime?

Angels are around and keeping a watchful eye on you. They will not interfere, but they are there, always, even if you’re unable to be aware of their presence.

Most of us go through our whole lives without experiencing some of the most incredible details that surround us in this dimension. So, it is reasonable to assume that even a greater number of us are unaware of the existence of other dimensions, which we cannot see clearly.

Angels are very real in high forms and low forms. The lower forms of angels have default access to us, but the higher angels are always monitoring us, loving us, joyous for us, weeping with us, and comforting us. It is likely you may never be aware of their presence unless you explore your sensitivities enough to become aware of their presence.

Some people regard angels as artistically inspired fiction, while some believe they are messengers in service of a church or religious organization(s), others believe they are aliens. It doesn’t really matter what you believe. What matters is that they are there. They have always been there, they predate our existence on this planet, and many of us experience angel encounters.

Angel encounters have been well-documented for as long as we were able to have means of documentation.

Have you had an angel encounter?

Have you experienced an angel encounter recently? Yes, they have been appearing and continue to appear even today.

While accounts of their encounters are recorded in religious texts, angels do not adhere or subscribe to any religious preference. They existed before we (mankind) did, and it is we who created religions in an effort to increase our connection to God.

You may argue (as most religious believers do) that God has a religious preference, but the angels do not. That’s why it’s not surprising that angels appear to people from all walks of life, believer and non-believers alike.

One on One Angelic Encounters

Today, reports of angelic visitation include intervention by a person who suddenly appears (as if from nowhere) and redirects your attention to avoid a potential catastrophe, then vanishes just as quickly as they appeared. Others report seeing an angel dressed in white, or full winged regalia, appear and then disappear, reporting a strong sense of, love, peace, safety, and security, which some report as being in the presence of God.

St. Paul speaks of such an appearance in Acts, “For there stood by me this night the angel of God…” (Acts 27:23) and it still is happening today.

Angels Among Us

Also, you never know when a person whom you do not know, appears in your life, looking just like an ordinary person, but is, in fact, an angel. St. Paul cautions us, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Hebrews 13:2).

These visitations are the most difficult to confirm, as sometimes, the actual benevolent and random act of kindness of one human being to another, conducted anonymously may be confused with the intervention of an angel. Even so, erring on the side of the divine is my preference, and may God bless all those who make it a priority to support others without recognition or reward. Angels, or not, their actions are angelic in nature.

In the Arms of an Angel

It is not uncommon for people who would otherwise be at their wit’s end, in desperation, depression, or pain, to suddenly feel comforted, loved and at peace, who insist that they are being held in the arms of an angel, or wrapped in an angel’s wings.

Such accounts are well-documented in religious texts, such as, “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.” (Psalm 91:4).

These are the most common examples of angelic visitation, and there are also signs that angels use to allow us to be aware of their presence.

Angels in Concert

Other accounts of being in the presence of angels include an overwhelming feeling of spiritual elation, and feeling as though the presence of many angels are surrounding the visited and experiencing the exhilaration in concert with the person reporting the angelic visitation.

Reports of this nature include people engaged in praise and worship in religious contexts, or overwhelming awe and reverence among creation, such as in nature, or nature in combination with solar or nocturnal beauty.

The feeling of being surrounded by a large number of angels who are actively engaged in sharing the event in concert with those feeling their presence and sharing in the celebration.

In any case, there is no denying the existence of angels. They are among us at all times. Whether you actually get to see one, or not, they are still there, step by step, sharing your journey with you.

How to Be a Nicer Person

When you’ve had a particularly hard life, it can get you down. As you go through life, you can get stuck seeing life from its seedy underbelly. This view can help keep you down, but you can raise your perspective and take a stroll along the bright side of life by getting ideas about how to be a nicer person.

If your vibrational set point is set at this lower perspective, even after visiting the good things life has to offer, you are likely to return to what you’re used to, your normal setting of this lower vibration.

In this lower vibration, it’s not uncommon to feel like a lone wolf, with the inability to trust other people, and you may even start to feel more comfortable, the less people you have around you, which could lead to isolation. In this state of mind, being somewhat of a hermit might feel better than putting yourself at risk of risking the plight of integrating with others.

One of the things you could do to raise your vibration would be to become a better person. I’m not saying you’re not a good person, you’re a fantastic person just the way you are. There’s no one else on this planet who is just like you. You are amazing. But, don’t let your vibration keep you down.

How to Be a Nicer Person

You could be a nicer person by reaching out to others and being a friendlier part of the human element as a whole. You do this by connecting to others. But how can you connect to the people whom you feel isolated from?

Decide to Be a Nicer Person

Once you’ve made the decision to become a nice person, you’ve got to let go of how you look at other people. You need to stop judging them. Everyone is just another person, just like you are. They use the bathroom and put their clothes on just like you do. You must be able to wrap your head around the idea that we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.

Stop judging and stereotyping individuals by their appearance, their clothes, accessories or the car they drive. You have no idea what is going on inside that person’s life. Get used to the idea that you cannot tell a book by its cover, and stop trying to.

Let go of the idea that everyone is out to get you. No one is out to get you, unless you invite those to come and get you by psychically emitting the magnetic field of victimization by thinking thoughts, like, “everyone’s out to get me.” In that case, they will answer your call. So, stop doing that.

When you change the way you think about the people around you, the people around you change. You will see other people, those who you might have seen as potential threats, becoming nicer people as you are becoming a nicer person. When you learn to be a nicer person and follow these steps, being a nicer person is contagious.

Here are some ideas to ponder when thinking about getting closer to other people.

Do Something Nice

In our topsy-turvy fast-paced world, it’s easy to be distracted an not to pay attention to what’s going on around us in the real world, especially since more and more of us are checking our communication devices more often.

Being aware of your surroundings, you may be able to see someone whom you could bless with a random act of kindness. Like if you see someone who is height challenged (short in stature) trying to reach something on a upper shelf in a grocery store, just the simple act of reaching for the item on their behalf, can be a special small act of kindness on your part.

Nice people are often in the field of niceness and you find them doing nice things for others. Their attention to their surroundings keeps them alert for opportunities to do something nice for someone else. At the supermarket you could, grab a shopping basket and offer it to someone, allow someone to go ahead of you in the checkout line, or offer someone your parking space.

The idea is, no matter where you are, if other people are around you, there are opportunities to reach out and make someone’s day a little bit better. That’s what nice people do.

Get to Know Someone Else

It’s easy to get lost in your own world, especially if you’ve been spending a while in it alone. But getting to know someone means reaching out, inviting someone to share about themselves, then listen, like nice people do.

It’s easy to fall into picking up on other’s keywords, then interjecting stories and experiences about ourselves. When you’ve invited someone to open up, and they’ve raised the courage to open up, your interruption to interject your own experience or point of view, will shut them down. Good luck trying to get them to open up again. You will never get below the surface for a truly meaningful connection with this person.

Shut Your Trap

The best way, to connect with someone, to get to know them better, is to refrain from interrupting them telling about themselves. Let them speak about themselves. We all want to be heard, and if you’re willing to let them speak, people sincerely desire someone to listen to them (so much so, that they are willing to pay their hard-earned cash an hour for someone to listen to them).

People long to connect to other people, and they shouldn’t have to pay someone to do it. We all should be able to “be there” for each other.

So the next time someone begins to open up about themselves, do not interrupt them by talking about yourself. Just listen. You may actively listen, to prove to him or her your mind is not elsewhere by not checking your phone while they are speaking, looking them in the eyes, and repeating key points to them, confirming they have your full attention.

And when they’re done, before giving in to the urge of talking about yourself, ask them, “Is there anything more about that?”

You’ll be surprised how that simple invitation will give the person the permission and empower them to let you in even deeper. Again, resist interjecting, and when they’re done, ask them again, “Is there anything else?”

When they offer up, “No. That’s all.” Now, you can talk about yourself. If you’re asked, “What do you think about that?” Simply answer, “I understand what it must’ve been like for you.”

Be careful not to judge what they’ve just told you, or offer them advice, unless they specifically ask for input or advice.

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes

The other thing you can do, when someone is telling you their story, is to imagine what it might have been to be that person, living out their life, doing the best they can with what they have and having to deal with life’s challenges.

What might be no big deal for you, might be a huge catastrophe for someone else. Imagine what it might feel like to be in that other person’s skin at that moment. What would you feel like if you were that person, in that moment in time?

This is empathy, feeling another person’s feelings, that draws us closer and creates an emotional connection between two people in conversation.

Now that you’re connecting with others, you will find you are on your way to living a better life, possibly your best life, and now you can help make the world a better place.

People Click on the Darndest Things

While the Internet is one of the most amazing gifts of all time thanks to Tim Berners-Lee’s benevolent act of publicly releasing and not patenting his World Wide Web creation in 1989, which has grown virally since then giving us instant access to nearly unlimited data from around the world, it is proliferated with false information.

It’s a tough balance to maintain between data collection and free speech. We all agree (well, some of us) that someone should be able to think or say anything they want. Many of us use the Internet as a resource to access factual data, even events happening in real time that is not (could not have been, or might have been suppressed) by the media.

people click on the darndest thingsPeople Click on the Darndest Things

False Information Internet Narcissists (FIIN) stalk the World Wide Web scouring it to glean headlines, quotes taken out of context, and create photoshopped images to appease their addiction to obsessive click counting which send their dopamine system into orbit.

The quest for creating anything that “goes viral” on the Internet drives many non-malicious, twisted, thrill-seeking web surfers to create false information for the dopamine rush it provides (and maybe their 15 minutes of fame).

If you’ve ever posted something on Facebook that’s received a massive response, you know what the Internet-fueled hit of dopamine feels like. It’s a great high that makes you feel good, and it’s quite addictive. It’s what keeps us glued to our devices and clicking endlessly throughout our lives.

Not all of the fake news found on the Internet is spread in folly, some of it is posted and shared to manipulate the minds of Web-surfers. Before the present millennium, television, radio and newspapers were the media used to program and sway the minds of people to generate a particular mass mentality, and to separate us into manageable groups of polarized thinkers.

Now, the Internet provides us with a more effective access to each individual regardless of age. The programming starts as soon as a toddler is able to hold a device, and we all fall into line as it nearly becomes a demand that all individuals have access to a device connected to the Internet (though now, it is only a right, not a demand).

There are plenty of initiators of bad information with the malicious intent of controlling your thoughts or actions, as well as some who possess the well-meaning intent to sway the thoughts of others to align with their own perceptions and/or conclusions without malice.

When you are accessing information on the Internet, and you read something that seems quite fantastic, you might be better off doing a little fact-checking before joining the viral wave of fake news promoters.

We all do it. I even caught myself sharing a bit of falsified information because it was forwarded to me by a trusted friend. Because it was written in the first-person, I assumed it was written by my friend, whom I respected, and the message included a sincere request for me to share it on his behalf. (Which I’m embarrassed to admit, I did, without checking first.)

You cannot stop the spread of false information, but you can refuse to be party to its impact. Taking a few moments to do a little fact-checking before you re-post something can go a long way in slowing the spread of fake news.

All that Internet drama takes a toll on your physiology, causing cellular deterioration which can cause health decline for 8 hours following the emotional impact of a false news report.

Guarding your heart and your mind against getting sucked into a false media campaign will help you live a healthier, happier and longer life.

You’ve Been Deceived Now What?

You’ve trusted someone… and they let you down, cheated, lied, committed a criminal act, or otherwise taken advantage of you. When you’ve been deceived, your first instinct might be to ask the question, “How could I have let this happen?”

You need to cut yourself some slack as soon as possible because the fact is that we are surrounded by manipulative people who seek out good and honest people whom they can take advantage of. They can be quite crafty and covert and the fact that they chose you is a compliment to your character and an indication of his or her lack of character.

We all tend to project our own morality onto those within proximity. For instance, if you’re an honest, trustworthy person, you tend to see others as being honest and trustworthy, while liars see others as dishonest, and fear others are always hiding something and may deserve to be taken advantage of.

You’re somewhat in a state of shock because you wouldn’t think of doing this to someone else. Ready yourself to forgive yourself for falling victim to this circumstance, it was not your fault. You are not responsible for someone else’s misdeeds.

Of course, The kind of betrayal I am referencing is the misdeed with malicious intent, you must distinguish this type of activity from an honest mistake. Sometimes someone whom you’ve trusted does something that results in your feeling betrayed, but there was a distinct lack of malice, more likely they hadn’t thought things through far enough or realized that their inattention to detail would be offensive to you.

If someone has simply made the mistake of crossing you unwittingly, cut them some slack, and prepare to forgive them.

Be aware that there are people who may be looking to take advantage of others, but do not fall into the trap of living in fear. Many people may have the tendency to exploit others, and may include personality profiles such as narcissists, sociopaths and/or psychopaths, who are well-versed in building your confidence in them and grooming others for “the take.”

Once you’ve correctly diagnosed a person as one who would lie or otherwise take advantage of you, realize they are a snake. As much as they might beg forgiveness or try to charm you otherwise, a snake is a snake, and it will only set you up to bite you, even worse the next time.

Can people change? Yes. I am in the change business and I see it every day, but you have to learn how to deal with a liar, look out for you and take care of yourself and the others whom you care about. This is your responsibility. If this snake is a repeat offender, you have to do the right thing and take the action which is best for you and yours.

In becoming aware of the existence of individuals who may not have your best interests at heart, learn early detection methods of determining when someone might be being less than honest and pay more attention to potential warning signs early on when you are getting to know someone.

In the event that you are having a twinge, a sense that someone may not be as they appear, don’t be shy about checking out the details for accuracy. If you are uncovering holes in their stories and blatant inaccuracies, there’s no need to confront them about it, just place a safe distance between yourself and this person, and don’t let down your guard around this person.

Now that you are becoming more aware of people and learning how to see people as they really are, be careful not to fall into the trap of seeing everyone as a potential threat. Not everyone is out to get you, but once victimized, it can be easy to be absorbed in perpetual victim mentality (which will only attract more predators) so avoid the temptation to do so.

Remember the good and honest, trusting person that you were before this incident and embrace that part of you even more, only being aware enough to protect yourself in the future.

I Love You No Matter What

I talk about love, been in the love promotion business since I was a teenager, but what is love? Granted, love is many things and can be expressed and felt, imagined and contracted in so many ways, but what is love, really?

I mean, if you could aspire to find the highest and best love that could be shared between two people, that would undoubtedly be unconditional love. But what does it mean to love someone unconditionally?

I love the Jesus model of unconditional love the best, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). It doesn’t stop there. The unconditional Jesus-style love meant he was willing to sacrifice everything for anyone, even the people who didn’t like him, refused to treat him fairly, the ones who shunned and/or rejected him, no matter what.

And when addressing the love of a couple, Paul charges men to, “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).

In a world where divorce is big business and relationships are pretty much disposable, this seems like quite the burden to place on anyone who is contemplating a higher degree of love. Unconditional? I love you no matter what? It just seems too impossible.

Is it like those marriage vows that go like, “love, honor, and cherish?” Okay, sounds reasonable enough. “For richer or poorer,” well, okay… for a while, maybe. I mean how long can two live on nothing? And, “in sickness and in health.” Well, exactly how sick are you talking about? We all have limits.

The degree of love you have for someone else is based upon your limitations, for unconditional love is limitless, “I love you no matter what.”

I have friends in my life whom I love unconditionally, they can ditch me, turn their back on me, pitch a hissy fit, leave me stranded at the airport, even steal from me and lie both to my face and behind my back, and I love them no matter what.

Sure, my feelings may wain and falter, but my commitment to love them is unfailing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that people, no matter how well you know them, can be unpredictable at times, and of course this catches you off guard. Even so, their underlying strength of character remains, and if they are for real, they will return, when they have the ability to do so; or not.

I work with many people in relationships who are unwilling to even contemplate the idea of unconditional love because their partner is not good enough. Maybe their eye continues to wander, looking for a better deal, someone who is better suited for him or her, so their chances are better if they push all their chips onto the table, affirming they’re ready to be all in for unconditional love.

What if you don’t think your partner is capable of loving you unconditionally?

What if you once felt like you loved your partner so much, but nowadays, you’re, “just not feeling it.” Then what?

I like what Stephen Covey says, “Love her anyway.” He insists that love is first an action, and the feeling cannot help but follow the action. So, if you want to have the feeling of being in love, love first, and the feelings will come.

Does, “I love you no matter what,” mean that I love you even if you beat me or cheat on me?

No. In life, we all make choices and should have healthy boundaries. There is no vow which suggests that you agree to allow your partner to abuse you, and you will stay, no matter what. You have the inalienable human right to life, and to live in freedom and safety.

Following self-protection, you need to decide what your conditions for love are. But think about it before you do because if your love has conditions, could your love be unconditional?

No. Unconditional love has no conditions.

Are you man or woman enough to go there? To love someone regardless of who they are, what they do, if they hurt your feelings, occasionally break promises, treat you poorly, forget some detail(s), ignore you when you could use a little acknowledgment, lose their libido, etc. Or a million other reasons why your love might waver or fade?

Might you long for unconditional love?

Do you think you want someone to love you, whom you can love unconditionally?

Unconditional love raises the bar of love incredibly high. It is not for the faint of heart, for the heart must come before the head in terms of it.

Your mind is the enemy of unconditional love and cannot conceive of the concept of loving someone unconditionally. It will do anything it can to protect you from it, for the mind’s base emotion is fear. Loving from the heart is the only hope there is of having unconditional love, which embraces the idea that,

“I love you no matter what.”

Free Gas Thanks Mike

I pull up to the gas pump to fill ‘er up, when just as I’m about to put my card in the machine, a young man shows up waving his card and says, “I’d like to buy your gas for you today. Would you let me do that for you?”

I turned and looked at him and smiled, “Whoa, you’re paying it forward, a random act of kindness.” To which he replied, “Not really. I just want to share some of the blessings that God has given to me.”

I smiled, even more, stepped away and said, “Why certainly…” I paused and pointed to him… He said, “My name is Mike.” I continued, “Mike, you may pay for my gas.”

Now, Mike had no idea who I was. All he knew was that he wanted to do something unexpected, what we refer to as a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK) because God had blessed him. So, he was motivated to share a blessing with a total stranger, not expecting anything in return.

I thanked Mike and waved at him as we left the service station, knowing our lives may never cross paths again. But this RAOK was far more important to me than he could possibly have known.

Yes, the thought crossed my mind, to graciously refuse his offer to buy my gas because someone else might need it more than me… which would have foiled his attempt to do a “random” act of kindness. In that split second, I allowed him to proceed, so as to not break his stride, nor prevent his blessing me more than he could have imagined.

I have been promoting and encouraging others to do random acts of kindness for the last year-and-a-half (I also suggested it before then, but not as passionately), and started looking for ways to do something unexpectedly good for someone who wasn’t expecting anything regularly. I herald the people who do random acts of kindness as, “my favorite superheroes.”

If you’ve been doing this for a while, you might be surprised at how some people will refuse your offer to do something nice for them. Maybe when someone turns my offer away, I should be more persistent, explaining about why they should reconsider accepting my simple gift, but I don’t. I am more likely to graciously honor their declining of my offer, and seek out someone else who might be more receptive.

I know what it feels like to have someone reject your RAOK. No matter what the circumstance, you were moved to do a nice thing and you got shot down. I wasn’t going to do that to Mike, so I let him to pay for the fuel for my car.

Now, the whole Random Acts of Kindness-thing comes ‘round full circle. I am pretty sure that Mike had no idea that I’ve been promoting random acts of kindness as part of my personal ministry of making the world a better place. I realize there are many people, just like you and me, doing the same thing. Doing something kind for someone, for no reason, except to bless someone unexpectedly, and who knows? They might be encouraged to do something nice for someone else unexpectedly. Plus, while I had been surprise-blessing others for the last year-and-a-half, this was the first time anyone approached me. It was good to see this idea working, making me feel like what we are doing is making a difference.

Our little random act of kindness may not be life-altering but in terms of reminding people that there is good in the world and we (you and I) can make a little difference.

Mike’s reaching out to pay for my gas reinforced my enthusiasm about encouraging others to do something good for somebody else who you don’t know and likely would never see again. I know Mike didn’t want any recognition for sharing his blessing, but I just couldn’t help but tell the story about his doing so because it so blessed me to be a recipient of one of the very things I have been promoting.

Mike, I honor you for your faithfulness in sharing your blessings with others with no expectations as one of my favorite superheroes, who do the same thing: Sharing a little somethin-somethin’ with strangers, which exemplifies hope in a world where hope is so lacking these days.

Mike, you made my day and the days of many others who will read this. It is your small act of kindness bestowed upon a complete stranger at a random gas pump which will hopefully inspire others to join the wave of goodness that is spreading across the landscape of our planet.

If you are reading this, and what you do today defines you, then think about Mike’s example of making the world a better place by blessing someone with a random act of kindness today.

It is these small acts performed by a growing number of people that changes our world for the better.

God bless you, Mike, for all that you do to make the world a better place.

Disappointed When Friends Let You Down

As you get to know other people and open up to them, they take more significant seats in your circle of influence. You’re being more transparent and you’re trusting them more and more as the bond between you grows. Invariably, the time will come when someone lets you down. You thought you knew them better, thought you could depend on them, felt reasonably assured they would keep their word, but they failed you. It’s no wonder you’re disappointed when friends let you down.

When you allow people to enter your inner circle, you tend to size them up as to what significance they will have in your life, and how much you’re able to trust them. When they react (or don’t react) in a way that you expected, it’s easy to jump to conclusions and judge them, like, “If you’re not for me, then you are against me.”

Granted, your feelings are hurt. You feel disappointed, left out, hurt, betrayed, disrespected and discarded because someone you trusted, your friends let you down.

Immediately, you don a self-righteous attitude because you would not have done this to them, you’re of the persuasion that you live by the golden rule, you do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. You just wouldn’t betray them like that. You know they can trust you, why can’t he or she give you the same respect of being trustworthy?

You’re likely to take this incident to heart and make a sudden judgment about the person who let you down and let it gnaw away at you for a while dominating your inner dialogue, reducing your vibration, and making yourself even more upset.

As soon as you’re able to find a place of cognisense, you need try to figure out if their action (or inaction) was malicious in nature. Most people are not out to get you, nor do they have the intention of hurting you. Everyone has their own things going on in the lives and in their minds, and it’s impossible to know what anyone is thinking at any given time.

Just as you’re doing the best you can with what you have available to you to get through this life, so are other people doing likewise. Someone who possess a high degree or maral integrity, whose word is gold, may even waver from time to time depending on what’s going on in his or her life. For others, it might just come down to their particular personality traits.

There are certain types of individuals who are so concerned with their own lives, that they may never be able to set aside their own wants, needs, or desires, to accommodate your expectations of them. It’s just the way they’re wired. You can’t change them. The best you can do is to love them and realize that’s just the way they are.

So, what can you do when your friends let you down?

When someone lets you down, you could take it personally, play the part of the victim, judge him or her, get upset, talk behind their back, shun them, or push them out of your life altogether.

If someone has been there for you in the past, and you know you could have depended on them because of their track history, then forgiveness should probably be extended to this person, even if it feels like you’ve been stabbed in the back.

To do so, it’s likely that you’ll have to make some space in your life to think about this, contemplate the details about what has happened and to review how much this person means to you. What kind of person are they? Are they just telling you how they really are and what to expect in the future, or are they genuinely dependable and this was an isolated incident?

Before arriving at a conclusion, I always like to pose the scenario to a disinterested third-party in the hopes of gaining a better perspective regarding the incident, because it’s easy to get locked into my point of view.

This is your life. You need to do what you need to do to get by the best you can with what you have. Sometimes, it means cleaning the slate and starting over again with someone who brings value to your life, other times it includes recognizing a potentially toxic person in your life and making space for someone more deserving of your trust.

The decision is your, whichever way you decide, think about which way is the high road leading to your highest and best.

One POV vs Perspective

Wouldn’t it be nice if everything in life were black and white, everything could be known or perceived from one point of view (POV)? Nonetheless, life being what it is, is best interpreted from multiple perspectives and seeing something from someone else’s POV can be not only beneficial but can add so much beauty and clarity (and sometimes curious confusion) to the overall landscape of life.

One POV vs Perspective

We see this a lot in the court room. More often than not, the plaintiff is asserting their point of view, while the defendant defends their point of view. Rarely, if ever, does the plaintiff conceded to the defendant’s point of view, even though there is always another point of view.

Wouldn’t be easier if everything could be seen and fully understood or appreciated from one point of view? Absolutely, but unless you’re a character in a story book, that is never going to be the case in the 3-D world where we live.

Someone who insists on only seeing everything from their own perspective we consider as self-obsessed and we refer to them as being narcissists, and they insist on making the world match their point of view. The advantage of doing so is that you have the ability to structure your world in such a way so as to find comfort in your own limited view of your black and white world.

How nice would that be?

For the rest of us in the real world, life is a little more complicated.

What if you were raised with the black and white view that

“Anyone who kills women and children should be killed”

And you were so passionate about it, that left to your own judgment, you might want to kill his own wife and children in front of him prior your executing him.

We all could appreciate that point of view, right?

So, I am working with this person who was experiencing conflict in his life because this is the way he felt. When he came to me he was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and who wouldn’t, if that very same person while carrying out orders in service of the USA, killed women and children. This would create great inner conflict in anyone with a heart.

Left to his own devices he may have taken his own life, just like 22 military personnel who commit suicide every day. War is a nasty business, and it does take its toll on those who are not lucky enough to be sociopaths and/or psychopaths.

PTSD is a horrible condition that locks a person into a certain limited point of view. Victims are so impacted by a particular experience (often tragic) that they find themselves unable to escape. An important part of the process includes being able to lift one’s view from outside yourself, far enough to see things from other points of view gives us perspective, but when you’re so immersed, it just seems like it’s too much to even conceive of.

Life, law, liberty, finding ways just to make it through each day, the pursuit of happiness, it’s all so very more complex than we might like it to be. But we can make it through much easier by trying to see things from other points of view to gain a better overall perspective.

Even so, since you can’t really know what goes on inside someone’s else’s head and/or heart, if they are so inclined, they could share their point of view with you. If you can empathetically see and/or feel from their perspective, you may find yourself getting a sense of what it might like to be that person in that moment, in a sense, walking a mile in that person’s shoes.

It is then that one realizes that life is not limited to our own perspective. What looks like one thing to one person might look like something completely different to someone else. To see an automobile accident from the highway looks completely different to someone actively involved in the accident. Same thing, different experiences.

You could live a judgmental life, criticizing everyone who doesn’t see things like you do, maybe even ostracizing the dissidence, leaving you safely comforted by living your life like you want to, or you could consider becoming a part of the family at large.

It will take some effort on your part to do it, but it will be worth it, as you experience a greater connection with other people by integrating your life with theirs.

I know, the first objection from someone who’s already tried that interjects,

“I’ve done that before… and I got burned.”

Yes, that is the caveat; connecting with other people in a meaningful, transparent way will leave you vulnerable. You will be vulnerable, just as they will be. Once you start feeling a life with your feeling in tact and sharing those feelings with someone else, it allows your feelings to be hurt.

But it also opens the gates to love.

Trust me, love is worth it.

It’s up to you, though.

The Sound of Expansive Evolution

Where does all the weirdness come from? Images and scenarios that play out when you sleep, that feeling of Déjà vu, when you find yourself nowhere you’ve ever been before, yet have the knowingness that you’ve been here before, meet someone who seems so familiar, done or said something before, when you know better. Or have you?

There is a great field of energy that we all walk around in. It surrounds us and permeates every tiniest piece of everything that is, and even assists in the assembling and holding together of molecules and provides order so we can have the privilege of enjoying all matter has to offer, including the bodies we’re so blessed to inhabit.

The very thought of us, floating in space on a planet in a solar system, in a universe that contains millions of galaxies ever-expanding (if you thought you were feeling insignificant before, I apologize), but there’s good news.

If you allow your mind to consider the idea, you could access and meld with the intelligence that makes sense of all chaos and powers everything, everywhere, at all times. Yes, the same One that hung all the stars and planets in space, made our little blue ball and put us here to enjoy all the amazing things which surround us.

Obviously, attempting to define this intelligence and power in any intelligible manner, would be like trying to teach a worm how to build a Mercedes from raw materials. The only hope you have of getting any idea about what’s happening is to spend time experiencing this energy and allow our minds to expand enough to hopefully get some idea about what’s going on from the perspective of our human experience.

Now, this is not a new idea, and people are doing it every day. People from all walks of life wield this limitless energy every day. Some on purpose, some witness it’s power by accident, yet there it is.

Trouble is, when someone gets a glimpse of the power, and discovers a duplicatable method to predict a plausible result (that may well be unexpected at first blush) from accessing and deploying this energy, they’d like to patent it, if they could. Instead, they start a movement of some kind based on this very narrow scope of their discovery.

I am not discounting their discovery, God bless them for figuring out how to expand beyond the constraints of thought which keeps any of us other structured thinkers from doing so. Yet, this harkens to the idea that there is hope for those of us who see them embroiled in the ecstasy of their discovery, and have hope for ourselves.

Each and every discovery of this accessing and/or harnessing of this intelligent energy is but a spec, a very small sampling, like discovering a grain of sand among all the grains of sand all over our planet (and other planets, too).

The only hope of accessing this energy is to use a powerful tool we are all imbued with from the moment we are introduced to this planet, and that is your imagination. Your imagination is far more effective and powerful than any manmade weapon, and more effective, sensitive, and intricate than any scientific instrument ever conceived on this planet.

Expansion explorers are only scratching the surface of what the potential and power of the imagination is, but as much as we’d all like to release the information freely, we all realize there is a great opposition to the dissemination of discoveries of this type en masse.

We, all of us, you and I, have been programmed from birth to reject any of these magnificent high-level thought processes, to laugh at people who would dare think outside our comfortable little thought boxes. Some even go to school to learn how to diagnose, treat, or otherwise remove these energetic rebels from society altogether, for our own protection. To protect us from evolving past the limitations (and control) of our socialized humanity.

Okay, so there’s a growing underground movement that is slowly expanding and integrating with The Source of all that is, was, or ever will be. And while we may be few, our numbers are increasing, and one day, when this energetic evolution reaches critical mass, a very different world will emerge.

In the meantime, we will remain to be somewhat quiet about our expansion, while we continue to do so.

Shh… That’s the Sound of Expansive Evolution