Money Types in Love

The subject of money is the number one reason for relationship breakdown and divorce, probably because how we feel about money is a microcosm of how we feel about the important things in life. Money is just an easier way to express ourselves, rather than to dig down and do the deep inner work.

Our association with money and our particular money type say so much about who we are and where we’ve been. Yet, here it is, out on front street, wreaking havoc in our most sacred relationship, causing friction between you and your partner.

It’s important to know first what type of money person you are. Are you a Money Spender, Money Miser, Money Slacker, or a Money Hater? Then determine which type of money person your partner is. If you both are completely different money types, not to worry, successful couples are often different money types. It’s not so much about your money type as it is what you do about it, and the earlier the better, in a relationship.

There is no judgment or shame about which money type you are. There is no right, no wrong, and the same goes for your partner. As you may already know, since money is obviously a big deal, you could do your best to adopt your partner’s money type for the sake of preservation of the relationship. While this is effective while you are able to manage it, it is stressful and adds resentment to you. It is a terrible burden to bear, and at some point, your money type is going to express itself in an unlikely manner.

It’s better to be open and honest about your relationship with money because it is not likely to change over time.

How we approach, feel about, and deal with money is not something that has developed suddenly overnight. Our money types are based on a lifelong journey and are intrinsically part of our personality and it is linked to our parents, how we were raised, and based on our experiences with money over time.

Money is a very intimate and sensitive part of our overall personality and likely one that you’re not comfortable about talking about. That’s why most couples avoid discussing the subject of money, or more importantly, how they really feel about financial matters. Even though it should be one of the most important topics discussed, especially prior to marriage.

And if you’ve waited until you are experiencing money conflicts in your relationship, it may be too late to do anything about it.

Following are the basic money types:

MONEY SPENDER

You gotta love the money spenders, especially if you’re in a retail business. They love to have things, lots of things, nice, new shiny things. They use money as a therapeutic instrument if they’re feeling a bit out of sorts, buying something new will make them feel better.

The downside is they are less likely to pay attention to their finances, over-finance, have excessive debt and file periodic bankruptcies. They’re more likely to overspend and buy things they do not need or will not use. They have the spending part down, not so much the responsibility piece.

MONEY MISER

There is no other more frugal person than the money miser, who counts every penny, tucks away money in savings and retirement, is likely rarely buy, but when they do, they’ve clipped coupons in advance or only buy items on sale, seconds or at thrift shops.

The downside is their relationship with money is based on fear and lack. Afraid that at any moment the sky will fall, and they would be devastated. They will often have barely enough to get by and satisfy their need to hide some money in savings and investments in the hopes that one day, they can retire.

MONEY SLACKER

The money slacker avoids anything that has to do with money at any cost. Doesn’t mind spending it, but rarely knows if they can afford whatever it is they’re spending it on. They avoid balancing their checkbook, opening or paying bills, saving or investing money is not on their radar and retirement is, “whatever.”

The downside of money slackers is that it’s hard to even have a conversation about money with them, and dealing with money issues is so far removed from them, that they’d rather do just about anything to avoid opening an envelope to expose a depressing bill. To the money slacker, discussing a budget is considered a brutal attack.

MONEY HATERS

Money haters think there is something inherently evil about money. Those who have it are money-grubbing mongrels, punishing, stealing and living off the blood of the less fortunate and poor. They are not likely to spend money on nice things and see nice things as trappings of the greedy and oppressive wealthy, or the wannabe. They’re more likely to give their money away to good causes or to someone more deserving than themselves.

The downside for the money haters is that there is nothing for them to fall back on and they’re likely to self-perpetuate their poverty, which to them, is likened to a badge of honor indicating selflessness and martyrdom.

As all successful couples know, love is not enough to sustain a relationship over time. You need a strong set of love survival skills to get from the initial feelings of falling in love to a successful long-term relationship shared by two over time. Talking about money, how you feel about it, what it means to you, and finding ways to compassionately understand and integrate a lifestyle that honors your partner’s money type, as well as your own, is paramount to a successful relationship.

Waiting for True Love

Sometimes when we’re in search of our significant other, life partner, or soulmate, we can get sidetracked by the part of the process which represents the time necessary for the (metaphorical) alignment of the planets.

When you are young and ruled by your biology seeking a mate to fulfill that part of your life’s calling to “be fruitful and multiply” Mother Nature is running the show on your behalf to accomplish her mission. At this point in your life experience, there is far less clarity in the definition of “true love.”

In those early days, Hollywood’s definition of true love is sufficient. Later in life (or for few of us, this can take place earlier in life), you can come to a point where you realize that Hollywood (who serves Mother Nature) has lied to you, and we understand that you are more than your biology and impulses wrapped in meat. And you look for a better idea of what true love really is.

From this perspective looking for true love takes on a decidedly different appearance. When once you might have been satisfied with aligning yourself with another person who satisfies your desires sufficiently, now your expectations take on a whole new light.

When you first start looking for love, you are much more spontaneous. You don’t realize how this relationship will affect your life, the lives of all the people around you, and the community or world at large. These concerns are not even on your radar, you didn’t even give a moment of thought to reflect on how this particular coupling might affect your whole world. All you know is that you are happy with the feeling of the moment and optimistically have a degree of faith in the hope that this will last.

After you’ve had some life experience (or possibly you realized this earlier in life), you realize that things often are not as they appear, and your expectation and desires are more advanced. Now, you know more about what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship, and you’re willing to relax, resist your biological impulses, and create the sacred space to adopt an attitude of,

Waiting for True Love

Waiting for true love will have you carving out the sacred space and allowing that very special someone to show up who is uniquely matched for you to walk into the future hand-in-hand.

There is a train of thought which insists that it takes a year for you to have a better understanding of what a person is really like. This may not have held much importance when your hormones were running amok, but now you know that in the beginning of a courtship (normally) people are representing themselves in the best possible light. Some of these people might be pressuring you to make a heavy commitment early on because they know that you might be able to see them for who they really are, which might make you want to avoid entering into such a high level of commitment.

So, now you take the time to wait for true love to arrive.

While you are waiting for true love you are more keenly aware and looking for indications that you might be fairly certain that your potential partner possesses certain attributes which you desire and are important to your survival as a couple into the future.

The most important key components to be looking for in a potential partner include,

Trust

The most important component to have which is the keystone on a successful relationship is trust. You must be able to trust each other. When you are together, you know you can trust each other. You are not suspicious of your partner, and your partner is not suspicious of you because you know you have each other’s backs. You are connected and committed to each other and bulletproof if your trust in each other is unshakeable. You know that if you or your partner says something, you can count on it, and you know that neither of you would do anything to compromise the sanctity of the relationship.

Going the Same Way

If you are to have a longstanding successful relationship, you want to feel as relatively certain as possible that you and your partner are headed in the same direction in life. You will want to understand what things are important to your partner, and you want to be transparent about those things which are most resinous to you. They do not need to be the same things, but they do need to possess a certain compatibility to survive your journey together into the future.

You want to be going the same way, because you don’t want to wake up one day to find yourselves far apart from each other, on completely different paths, if it is your intention to have a co-creative life with each other that can survive the test of time.

Love Each Other

When you love each other, you make each other the priority and you celebrate your union as an extension of your combined energies. Successful couples are not just the putting together of two individuals, but the synergistic coupling of two powerful individuals which when combined create a greater entity together.

When you’re not together, you still hold a high regard for each other and think of each other often. When you love each other, you accept each other’s wants and desires and support each other’s pursuits, and are each other’s best friends. When you are confused, challenged, feeling awkward, or uncertain, you seek out each other to share openly and honestly, and you feel confident that your partner will support you and have your back.
Couples who really love each other anticipate being together and seek to experience new things together and create memorable events which can be looked back on, like a trail of breadcrumbs that lead to your expanded love together. Your love for each other is witnessed by your family and peers, and they respect and support your relationship, defending your right to successfully grow and co-create into the future.

If you are expected to find this special person, you cannot let yourself be distracted by someone else’s bells and whistles, smoke and mirrors, and you can only hope to do so if you are intent and committed to the idea of,

Waiting for True Love

Sending Love to the World 2017

Today is Veterans Day, which is also the launch date of Sending Love to the World 2017. The annual event which started in 2014 was an effort to allow peoples to gather in harmony in an effort to join energetically to send love to the world for Christmas.

Sending love to the world november through december 2012

You might ask why one might be concerned about sending love at a time when the world is teaming with joyous love in celebration of the holidays? The point is this: at this love-filled celebratory time while we are all happy and spending quality time with family, there are others with whom we share the planet with (some not far from us, could even be next door) who are taking their own lives at Christmastime. It can leave you wondering why do people commit suicide?

Sending love to the world on Veterans Day
The idea that Christmas could be the one day of the year most people have suicidal thoughts is just too difficult to fathom. As confusing as it might seem, Christmas is the best and the worst of times. This depressive holiday season starts on November 11th, a time of year we set aside to honor those who have served in the United States military. Veteran suicides make up a surprising 18% of the people who have suicidal thoughts and will kill themselves over the holiday season.

It is through efforts of events, like Sending Love to the World 2017, that those of us who are less likely to commit suicide can compassionately reach out to others who are less fortunate and/or struggling with lack of self-esteem, sadness, loneliness, or any other number of maladies which might tip the scale for someone to think that the feeling of being dead would feel better than the pain of being alive. It is in those moments that a person thinks about actually taking their own life, and it is a desperate place to be.

It’s so easy for us to get caught up in the intensity of the season and not have the wherewithal to set aside a few moments to think about what might be happening elsewhere. No one is blaming or judging you for this, but now that you know, you can make it right by doing something that can change (and possibly save) someone’s life.

You can make a difference by sending love to those whose hearts are lacking in a sense of feeling love. It is our hope that by your joining us to send these people love they will have a sense of relief, enough to survive the challenges faced by the holiday season.

Not limited to our intention to have the positive effect of decreasing the rate of suicide over the holidays, it also our intent to send love to others, including the creatures of the earth and the whole world.

3 minutes to send love to the world

3 Minutes for a Better World

All we ask is that you take a minimum of three minutes to send love to the world in any way that resonates with you. Your three minutes or more could have a huge impact on the lives of those who are struggling at this time or year.

Remember it is not just your three-minutes or more, but your efforts are joined by all the other people who are also taking a few minutes to send love to the world. Some people will be spending ten minutes or more each day sending love to the world. Still your three minutes, if that is all you do, makes a huge difference, and who knows? Once you send love for three minutes, you might enjoy the benefits from doing it so much that you might want to do it more often.

Benefits of Sending Love to the World

Not only are you sharing the positive energy of love to others, but engaging in this benevolent activity for as few as three minutes boosts your immune system for up to eight hours, promoting healing and better physical and emotional health. Plus, it fills your heart with even more love.

Isn’t caring and sharing love the theme we all want to see for the holidays?

How to Send Love to the World

Any method that’s right for you. You can pray, meditate, visualize, go to church, light a candle, whatever, just three minutes this year for a better world.

Whatever works for you, do that.

If you’re at a loss for how to send love to the world, feel free to try this 10-minute Sending Love to the World Guided Meditation video:

Click here for Sending Love to the World guided meditation video
 

God bless you and yours, for taking a few minutes this holiday season to help make the world a better place.

Love to you for all you do.

Rekindle the Flame of Love

How can it be? You’ve been together a while and everything was so good, you were both so connected but lately it feels as though what’s left of the flame of love feels like it’s going out. Before you think about cashing it in or looking for greener grass, think about taking measures to rekindle the flame of love in your relationship.

Be aware that all relationships have a tendency to experience this fading effect over time. It’s not just you. The couples who make it understand this and make it through, not just by mere drudgery and sticking it out whether one likes it or not, not out of fear of loss, but the most successful couples do so by rekindling the flame of love.

In case you’re wondering what these power couples do to rekindle the flame of love, following are some of the secrets to their relationships success. You might think about employing some of these powerful techniques yourself.

Remember when the flame of love was burning brightly? Chances are there were certain gestures and activities which you engaged in back in the day when your love was on fire. It doesn’t require rocket science to think that if you were to reengage in the gestures and activities which you did back then, that the embers of love might begin to burn once again.

Remember the small things. After a while you just sort of get used to someone being there and you forget to do the little things (or there may be the likelihood that you never did. If so, now is the time to start) the less expensive the better. Little things like setting a cup of coffee on the nightstand next to a waking partner. Leaving little love notes around the house, or whatever small concession which communicates to your partner that you haven’t forgotten about him or her and still regard your partner as precious.

Here’s a fun project you can do, and if your partner joins in, it can pull your love out of the slump by remembering all the good things you love about your partner. Make a list. Write down all those things that you think are (or “were”) so adorable when your love was vibrant and alive. Share them with each other. Sometimes you just need to remember why you feel in love in the first place. Also, things can change over time, and maybe something you thought was an incredible quality in the beginning ended up being a nuisance later (don’t put those on the list).

Another powerful tool to use when the love flame starts to dim is to find new interests in each other. There are probably some interests that your partner finds exciting (or at least, interesting) which hasn’t particularly captured your interest in the past. Try learning about or trying to understand what your partner finds so fascinating about this particular thing or activity which you may have avoided altogether until now. You may be surprised how getting involved in your partner’s activity can set your love flame ablaze. The same can also be true for trying any completely new activity together, like a dance class, or parachuting (okay, maybe not parachuting).

Set up a private rendezvous with each other. No need to book a fancy hotel, you can lock yourself in your bedroom without cell phones or other devices, have a private picnic, and just “be” with each other, whatever that means for you, no holds barred. This can be an incredible opportunity for the two of you to reconnect, spend uninterrupted time with each other in a safe and familiar environment. You never know, intimate passion may also visit your private together-time.

Find ways to be playful by creating your own special language, so that you can say a particular word or phrase in a certain manner in public, and no one knows what’s going on, only the two of you know what it means. Find ways to play games with each other that create and grow intimacy while having a little fun while you’re at it. A little playful role-playing in public can go a long way. Maybe pretend like you’re hitting on your partner in a public place, as if you’ve never met him or her before.

Okay, here’s the two-part doozie, “Know what you want,” and, “ask for it.” You might be surprised to know that in the most unsuccessful relationships, either one or both partners don’t even know what they want or need in from their partner or the relationship. So start there. Note this is an advanced tactic because there is so much to be said for presentation. Yes, you want to be able to express what you want, and you should give your partner an opportunity to give you what you want, but you want to do it in a gentle and mindful fashion, so as not to put your partner on the defensive.

Can you think of other ways to rekindle the flame of love? If so, enter your comments below:

The New Human Evolution

What are you talking about when you’re talking about evolving as a human being?

There are many ways to evolve as a human in this current stage of evolution. You may elect to be a part of the evolution by simply being open and allowing the evolution to take place. If you do, you will be adding energy to the evolutionary change that is spreading among the human race, even though the powers that be would rather suppress the expansionary evolution of humans.

You may not be able to see the effects of our evolution from the outside of our bodies, it’s not like seeing the disappearance of your pinky finger. No, this evolution takes place deep within the body and its connection to the source of all life, affecting your consciousness which encompasses your personality, emotions, power of thought and how these are demonstrated via your outward expressions.

This evolution does also have a profound effect on the human body by expanding the health and natural healing capabilities, increasing the immune system, resulting in the living of longer, healthier, and more productive lives.

This evolution is taking place in the psychological and spiritual realms of existence and the results can be measured in increased quality of life and longevity.

The trend is to evolve beyond the herd or mob mentalities and toward individual growth, increased human potential, and energetic expansion.

Expanding human potential encompasses looking at challenges (any challenges, even the most incredibly intimidating and/or frightening) and approaching them with the courageous intent to overcome them in a valiant effort to emerge victorious over the challenge.

This stretches both imagination and super-human ability to ma, e, what may have been thought to be impossible, possible. Once the impossible has become possible, due to the breakthrough of one person, it is now possible for all humans. One example to consider would be the breaking of the 4-minute mile in 1954. Prior to that the common consensus was that the human body could not possibly perform with the speed and intensity necessary to break the 4-minute limit, it was impossible. Once one human being, Roger Bannister, broke through that barrier, it has raised the standard for optimal or excellent human physical performance to expect to endure running 15 miles per hour for four minutes.

Before Bannister could break through the previously set human limitations, he needed to believe it was not only possible, but that he could do it. Belief is comprised of positive energy, rejection of nay Sayers, increased empathy, compassion and a courageous all-in commitment to overcome a particular otherwise insurmountable challenge. And do it, he did. He also enjoyed the benefits of overcoming the impossible limitation (those who overcome tremendous challenges become more resilient, ‘ere the saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”) and paved the way for others to follow because,

Once the impossible becomes possible, it becomes possible for anyone.

Making the World a Better Place

Compassionately evolving human beings are raising the bar for expressing gratitude and generosity in helping to make the world a better place for all creation. This benevolent attitude is an indicator of human evolution moving well beyond the survivalist mentality which predominated human culture for thousands of years.

Evolutionary Thought and Expression

Prior to this evolutionary expansion, humans were fairly predictable, as we could be categorized and defined by various personality traits and behavioral patterns. The evolution of human potential makes it possible to avoid being defined or pigeon-holed into well-defined personality types or diagnosis of a variety of psychological disorders.

Unfortunately, the system has developed a series of drug therapies and protocols, which will force you into a particular subset of personality definitions quite nicely.

Nonetheless, there are individuals who are expanding well beyond any formal definition and here’s the exciting (or “frightening” depending on your perspective) news: the evolutionary personality is constantly changing, growing and expanding. Therefore, the person that you are today can be very different from the person that you were yesterday, and tomorrow is another day, and potentially a newer version of yourself waits there for your arrival.

Brain Function

As the human being evolves, this evolutionary process affects the brain, and it is measurable by PET scans and other scientific measurements as active function moves from reptilian-based areas of the brain to more advanced and energetically intuitive areas of the brain, which leads to expanded,

Heart Function

Current science is seeing the evolving human being allowing and embracing the empowerment of the human heart to expand in consciousness. In fact, current scientific evidence is indicating that the heart’s consciousness is far more powerful than the brain, which was previously considered to be the powerhouse for consciousness. While this science is still in its infancy, we’re seeing the ideals of artists and philosophers who saw the heart as the seat of consciousness were more accurate than science had given them credit for.

You Are the Creator

You can take a proactive position in your evolutionary expansion and in essence become the creator of your own evolved self. You may be surprised to find how easy it is. What was not possible for you only moments ago is now possible for you now.

All you have to do is to think about the person you might like to be. Asking yourself, if you could have a particular attribute of any person you admire, no matter what it is, what would it be?

This is like, step one: “Who do you want to be?” What do you want to be like, feel like, look like, act like?

Then believe you can be that kind of person, use visualization techniques or affirmations, imagine yourself in situations where you can react in a fashion which is congruent with the type of person that you desire to be. See yourself as being that type of person (this is your 4-mintue mile).

Put yourself in real life situations where you can demonstrate your ability to be this kind of person, and do it. It may be uncomfortable or awkward at first, but practice will make it appear to be more natural, and sooner or later, it will be.

If you dare to chronicle your evolutionary process, start journaling every day and prepared to be amazed.

Why Would Someone Kick You When You’re Down?

Clearly, a psychopath would get a thrill from adding a little more pain to your misery when things aren’t going your way, but when you’re really down and out, why would people (some people you may have referred to as “friends” not long ago, as well as people you don’t know, or don’t know well at all) take pot shots at you, when you have little or no resources for recovering from the attack or wounds therefrom?

Why would someone kick you when you’re down?

There are people with low self-esteem who find comfort in knowing that someone is worse off than they are. We see this a lot in the personal growth arena, friends who encourage you to do better, something good, because they, “want only the best for you.” That’s all well and good until you start to do better than them, then they start confiding in you to caution and discourage you, because you’re heading into treacherous territory, in an attempt to dissuade you, to prevent you from some success which they find to be elusive for themselves. All the while, praying for your failure so that they can feel better when comforting you, once again, with their, “I tried to warn you,” or, I-told-you-so’s.

The people who would intentionally kick you when you’re already down, are few and far between, though it might not seem so when you are down and out.

What is far more likely, is that as your ability to influence or affect the lives of other people decreases, so does your significance, and if your significance continues to decline, you may appear to be invisible to the rest of society due to your lack of significance.

The Matryoshka Doll

Let’s take a look at the life of a predominant professor at a university whose youngest of three daughters was diagnosed with leukemia and given one year to live. The parents, siblings, and other friends rallied around her. The young girl, not wanting to impose or impede the lives of her friends and relatives took her own life during a sleepover at a friend’s house. This devastated all who loved her so much, the family disintegrated as each member blamed the other.

Looking for some way to make sense of it all and to find some way to feel better, the professor, now disenfranchised from his family, resigned from the university and cashed out his retirement to open a little trinket gift shop in his daughter’s favorite vacation community surrounding himself with the items which would have brought his daughter so much joy. One week into his third month of business, his shop burned down. He lost everything with nothing to fall back on, and sank into a deeper depression.

It wasn’t long and he found himself among the homeless wandering the city. One day, he is visited outside a mission by a young woman whom he barely recognized as the girl who had hosted his daughter’s sleepover on her last night. They embraced, cried, and the young woman gave him something that she his daughter had left at her house, a matryoshka doll (also known as a set of Russian nesting dolls). The young woman and the now homeless man parted ways, only now he possessed a priceless treasure (which he had bought her in that very vacation town) representing his little girl’s love for precious gifts. He could find peace playing with the dolls, just like his daughter must have, he felt connected to her, and safe, no matter where he was.

One evening while playing with his matryoshka dolls in an alleyway, tucked away in a doorway, a car barreled down the alley nicking the corner of a dumpster which swung around and nearly hit the man. He was shocked but relieved to find that he hadn’t been harmed, only his matryoshka doll was smashed to pieces.

Three days later, the man’s body was found clutching pieces of a broken matryoshka doll.

Unintentional LIfe Circumstance

To the man, he had suffered a countless succession of bad luck or personal attacks which piled one atop the other, appeared as though everyone was out to get him, or wanted to demonize him. Every time he saw a light of glimmering hope, his hope was abruptly shattered, literally, when the matryoshka doll was crushed. All these things were in reality, unintentional life circumstance taking place all around him with no malice intended. As much as we would all like to believe that the world revolves around us, we’re all just swimming around in the same swirling life soup.

What really happened was that the man had become invisible to society, unable to affect or influence the lives of others. What about his friends and colleagues? Where were they in all of this? In his growing depression he withdrew from otherwise active social circles and in our world today, when everything is so aggressively attempting to gain our attention in every moment of every day, out of sight means out of mind. If you are not reminding your people of your existence, the effect of your existence loses relevancy, except for the occasional story or nostalgic fable which you may have played a part in, in the past.

Feel Better

We, all of us, the man, his daughter, and other family members, friends, colleagues, people he knew and never knew, all are living our own lives from the perspective of our individual bodies, limited to what we can experience via our senses. And we are all looking for a way to find some way to feel better.

From this perspective, nothing exists in the world, except for that which concerns us. Until you read the story, a broken matryoshka doll had no significance to you whatsoever. While the man might have felt his life slipping from him as he asked God why someone would purposefully want to destroy the only thing in life he had to live for? While the joy-riding teenagers didn’t even know the man was there. Their only concern was to make sure the damage to the car from grazing the dumpster was not too noticeable, otherwise, they were just having a good time feeling better, celebrating life.

Same incident. Different perspectives.

In most cases, when it feels like someone is kicking you when you’re down, nothing is further from the truth. The truth of the matter is that people are only living their own lives, doing the best they can with what they have. We all have limited resources, and want to feel a little better. All of us. So, we traverse this planet with blinders on focused on trying to find ways to feel better.

Of course, there are other people with whom we share the planet with, and those who may the ability to influence or affect our lives garner the most of our attention. Our professor at the university, our parents, family members, and friends. Then there are the people who support our lives and our attempt to have a better life, the cashier, gas attendant, engineer, postman, police officer, etc… and those who are making their own ways by embracing negative energies, such as the people engaged in less than legal activities, as well as those who have little or no significance to us, as they fade away into the darkness.

And you take it personally when (metaphorically) someone drives by you in a Lamborghini, when you don’t even have a bicycle. You feel invisible, except for when you make a spectacle of yourself at the street corner holding your “Will Work for Food” sign.

Except for in the rarest of circumstances, people do not intentionally kick you when you are down. They are simply doing the best with what they have and may not realize the affect that their actions (or inactions) might have on the life of someone else. And while we all can try to be mindful about how every breath we take, step we make, word we utter, or dollar we spend affects the lives of everyone who could possibly be affected, to do so would be nothing short of impossible.

The man’s family separated, not because they all blamed him, or each other for the girl’s suicide (which also was not meant to hurt anyone. She was just looking for a way to not be a burden and to feel better herself), but because they had lives to live, and they found it too painful to do so surrounded by constant reminders of the girl’s decision to make her exit in that way, on the blinders went. And they all charged off into different directions, trying to make some sense of life and to find a way to feel better themselves.

Cut yourself some slack, everyone is not out to get you.

No one is kicking you while you’re down, but while you’re down there, find ways to reactivate your life. Don’t let yourself fade away into the nothingness. Find respectable and honorable ways to remind us that you are still here. Keep doing that until more and more of us take notice of you.

You are an amazing person, with a unique purpose, message, passion, and mission for your life. Your experience has powerfully equipped you to help others who may be struggling with the same issues as you have had to deal with. You don’t have to have all the answers, what you do need to do is not give up but get up, take what control you can and carve out a new life for you, a better life, possibly your best life, and make the world a better place.

This is my prayer for you,

-Amen

What Other People Think or Say

You know you’ve come to this planet with a unique Purpose, Message, Passion, and Mission (PMPM). Yours may not be hugely star-spangled and glorious with your name in lights and a guest spot on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday but yours is just as significant and meaningful, if not more so, because your intention and the effort you exert to communicate and engage with your calling helps to raise the vibration of our planet, encouraging and allowing others to begin to awaken and evolve.

All thanks to you and what you do, because all growth, expansion and inspired action has a cumulative effect on the world. Every inspired heartbeat, display of devotion, encouraging word, loving thought, meditation, smile, or tear shed increases the energy which positively charges our planet for our expansive evolution and makes the world a better place.

In many cases, fear will keep you from doing that thing you’ve been called to do. You’re intimidated by what other people might think of you, so you’re more likely to do what others want you to do, to look, act and try to feel like others expect from you. You’re likely to not pursue a track to your highest and best because of the people you love the most, your family, friends, co-workers, even people you barely even know, because of what they might think.

You spend your life in the service of others, adopting the people-pleaser mentality, for a meager sense of feeling as if you’re doing the right thing, as you neglect your own needs, wants, and desires, in a form of martyrdom. You’re probably engaged in work that is unsatisfying and feeling as if you are not respected or honored for the sacrifices you make on the behalf of others.

What Other People Think or Say

What if I told you that the most powerful people affecting the world for change and evolutionary expansion don’t really care what you, or anyone else, thinks?

If you want to do your thing, stop worrying about what other people think or say.

This is about you, your calling, your contribution to making the world a better place, even if in the smallest way, as you step into the inspiration and power of that which gives your life meaning and allows you to achieve your highest and best.

Loving Me Time

It’s time you carved out some sacred space for you to engage in some loving me time. As you may already have gotten wind of the idea that if you really want love, and to really love others, you have to start by loving yourself.

Dedicate your loving me time to loving yourself, everything about you, from the day you were born until now, and become your own best friend. The more you learn to fill you, your soul, and your life with an empowered higher vibration of love, the more you have to share with others, and the more love, the truest of loves, comes into your life. Turning you into a virtual love generator and love magnet.

From this powerfully love-energized position you are better equipped to positively charge and affect the world around you in your service to others. How much more effective can you be now, when you desire to care for and share with others, as your overflowing love cascades over everything you do?

What if someone puts me down?

When I was a young man, I found a way to make extra money by playing music in bar bands. As a tenor, I was able to harmonize with other band members and add value to the performance. I later decided to do my own music. Intimidated by what people said about my lack of professional singing voice, I surrounded myself with singers who could sing the songs I was writing.

This led to an endless rotation of singers, as well as other musicians, and any chance I might have had to establish “my sound” or make an impact with my music was lost. All because of what someone said about the quality of my singing voice (and my lack of self-confidence).

Later, when I got involved in the ministry, I was so inspired, nothing could stop me from speaking my piece, or singing my songs about God and our relationships with Him and each other. I had to come to the point that I would powerfully pursue my mission to spread love and help others achieve their highest and best, regardless of what other people thought or might say.

As my inspiration, commitment and resolve grew within me, as well as my love for myself and others, embracing my own unique gifts, skills and abilities, I had become bulletproof in my passion and in the expression of my ministry.

Your purpose, message, passion, and mission are your sacred birthright. Nothing anyone could say or do could make that untrue and the onus is on you to embrace your calling and forge your path being true to yourself, sharing your unique skills, gifts, and special abilities, which is the least you can do for being blessed with the opportunity to experience this life.

And,

what other people think or say doesn’t matter.

You are raising the vibration of our planet, encouraging and allowing others to begin to awaken and evolve.

Thank you for everything you do.

 

Love is All There is

Love is all there is. Everything else is illusionary lights, smoke, mirrors, bells and whistles. The truth is it is God’s intention for there to only be love, harmonious celebration of life and peace on earth. This is why we are here, to find and experience all the love, life, and peace that is waiting for out discovery and joyous celebration thereof.

On the other hand, we share the planet with a variety of individuals, all with their own experiences, perceptions, definitions, beliefs, and ideals, all purporting their own agendas, some willing to use force, even kill others or die themselves in defense of their perspective.

What we fail to see in every person, every thing, every disaster, every circumstance, situation or challenge, there exists a state of perfection. Inside every sick and dying person is a healthy vibrant person full of vitality and love in all of his or perfection in every way. Granted, you may not be able to see it from your perspective because, after all, we all inhabit bodies and are (somewhat) limited to what we can experience with our five senses and rationalize with our finite mind.

Knowing that there is more to life than meets the eye (and/or the other four senses) enables you, if you dare, to see things from a higher perspective; seeing the beauty, magnificence and divine nature of all things. Though we not be able to see these things clearly due to our varying state(s) of consciousness or expansion, there is a knowingness within that everything is in divine order.

Through it all, our calling remains clearly (if you can imagine) to experience and be love, to celebrate life in harmony with all mankind and creation, as well as having peace on earth.

If love is all there is, and everything else is illusionary lights, smoke, mirrors, bells and whistles, then God’s perfect design and will prevails, regardless of what it looks like on the surface.

While the base vibration of humanity is rising. Humanity’s base vibration is still basically low, rooted in fear, though it is raising in love. This vibration continues to rise as more and more of us are able to see this life through the eyes of love and continue to grow, expand and evolve into higher versions of ourselves.

Even so, our base vibration, representing the majority of people with whom we share the planet, makes our default setting for gathering and processing data search for what’s wrong with the world. Then we attempt to smash, ridicule, or fix that thing which we have determined is bad, cruel, or in conflict to our ego-centered desire to see a thing manifest in a certain way.

Invariably, we who are in human form, find that which we seek. If you look for the bad things in the world you find them, and if nothing exists that was bad (and it doesn’t) then we will find a way to create it, so that we have something to focus on which is negative. This is our default setting.
Alternatively, you may choose to shift your focus from fear (your default setting, which most of us have been programmed to do since birth) or seeking to find what’s wrong with the world, to love and seeking all the things that are right, even spectacularly breathtaking, in the world at any point in time.

Using scientific method and personal assertions we find and disseminate our findings to influence others to align with our point of view, whether it is based in negativity or positivity.

Where you resonate in your life, what you focus your attention on and feel is amplified and sent out to the world, proliferating the frequency which you resonate at while engaged in thought. If you are feeling bad about something you believe to be bad with a degree of intensity, this vibratory frequency is multiplied exponentially. Therefore, the more you feel good, or bad, the more your experience affects the world.

It hardly makes sense to focus on anything bad. Mother Teresa understood this concept when she said, “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.” She knew the secret to focusing her attention on that which is good, not on what is wrong. By doing so, she was able to influence the world in a positive way, staying true to her sacred calling and not allowing herself to be distracted by that which was undesirable.

You, like Mother Teresa, could be surrounded with pain and suffering yet positively focused on being the proactive solution.

To see things through the eyes of God is to see everything in the light of love, while to look at things through the eyes of men is to filter your sight by the veil of human existence and fear.

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to experience this paradigm shift from fear to love and to be a powerful generator for promoting love’s good in all things. Your positive attention, actions, and energy create a viral effect of spreading love, like a sacred virus throughout the land.

It starts with you. The one. You are the one being called into this sacred service.

Let today be the day you chose to, as Ghandi challenged, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Starting with you and your household, make the world a better place by focusing your attention on all that is good, and when your senses become aware of something not good, look for the good in it and you will find it, or see and/or be the solution.

The new world of love, joyous celebration and peace starts within you.

Help I Can’t Take One More

Aaahhh! I am so far over my head, “Help!” I don’t think I can take one more thing! Ever feel like you’ve had all you can stand? It’s as if the hits just keep coming, and you think about the saying that “God will not give you more than you can take,” and right about now, it feels like it’s a lie because you are well over your head.

You’re losing it. You feel like you have zero control of anything as your world crumbles all around you, and you ask yourself (or some deity), “What’s happening?”

Okay, you asked for it, so here it is:

This is all on you.

(Take a moment to express your disagreement with the idea that this might all be your fault, then come back and give me a chance to explain.)

Here’s the deal, when something happens that you don’t like, you have seventeen seconds to feel bad, after which if you don’t pull your head out, the eighteenth second begins to emit the frequency which matches the vibration of you are enveloped by. This energy (which is clearly negative) attracts like energy.

So, every second that follows while you are wallowing in the negative energy is calling more negative energy to you. More bad news is on the way; here it comes…

The only way to stop the spiraling whirlpool which is dragging you down and draining you of the possibility of having the best things in life is to stop the negative energy and start getting into a positive frequency. Even if it’s a low positive vibration it’s so much better than remaining in the negative, and it stops the attraction of more bad news.

You must get in touch with you, all the good things about you. You know you’re here for a reason and you were not called to be in this negative vibe. This is not your natural state. You are called to love yourself, embrace your power and continue to draw a line between what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad. You have the power to choose to feel good or to feel bad. When you are feeling good, you are in touch with the real you. You are attracting good things and not bad.

In this positive state of mind, you are thinking clearer, you are creative, resourceful, you are open to all good things as they unfold before you, you are able to find a sense of peace, and things are leaning toward increased clarity in your life.

You must cut out some positive space for you to separate yourself from the negative and immerse yourself in a positive vibration. Take a day off, disconnect from the madness, take a break. Take time to focus your attention on doing something, putting you in a place where you feel good; and the better you can get yourself to feel, the better.

Take a walk in nature, or watch a comedy film or a tear-jerker but find a way to release some pent-up emotion and embrace the cleanse. Count your blessings; get out a piece of paper and a writing instrument and start jotting all the things you can be grateful for in your life (even when things are at their worst, there are some good things that can be found, even if the process feel daunting at the outset). Write down the good things in life you can look back on.

I love you

Everything will be okay

If you’re like me, all you want to hear and feel is, “I love you,” and, “Everything will be okay.”

It’s up to you to put yourself in the state where you feel loved and assured that everything will be okay by no one or no other thing than you, yourself. This is your responsibility, as counter-intuitive that it might sound or feel at first, this is up to you and you alone. You need to accept this responsibility and start loving yourself, truly loving, appreciating, encouraging and empowering yourself.

Sure, someone else can help to make you feel these things, but this energy which comes from outside yourself fades, and when it fades, it requires finding another source outside of yourself to re-energize yourself.

Your source of energy from within is limitless and divine. It doesn’t depend on anyone or anything else. As long as there is life within you, that limitless source of energy resides within the recess of your heart, just waiting for you to call upon it.

When you are feeling better, reminded of those things for which you can feel grateful, loving and supporting yourself, you are at a much better place to look again at the challenges that you face.

From this perspective, you are able to see answers and have access to skills and tools which weren’t within reach when you were drowning in despair.

Congratulations.

You got this.

Partners More Powerful than Solos

Even if you’re feeling like you and your partner are not on the same page, be aware that partners are more powerful than solos. Sure, you could go it alone, but your potential is far greater when you work together with your partner for your highest and greatest good.

Partners more powerful than solos

You are a living breathing expression of life and the most exhilarating part of life, that part which adds pleasure, value, insight, and wisdom is the area of personal growth and expansion. While society may not be up to speed in terms of growth and expansion (and actually spends a lot of effort and any means possible to distract you and keep you from even doing more than entertaining the thought of it briefly) it is the one thing that brings a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment and meaning to one’s life.

This journey starts from within, getting to know who you are, and where you fit in the grand scheme of things, then from this vantage point charting a journey to beyond, possibly where no man has gone before… This is the exciting journey of growth and expansion. Be aware (and if you’ve already been on this journey, you’ve already discovered and know too well) things in this life are often not as they seem.

One of the greatest qualities in life comes from sharing it intimately with another, and you’re fortunate to find someone who cares about you, desires you, loves and accepts you for everything that you are (and those things which you are not). What if, in the process of your personal growth and expansion, you’re feeling a less than comfortable distance growing between you and your partner?

This can create a conundrum which can be difficult to sort out. It could drive a couple apart, or it could cause the growing and expanding individual to recoil, to withdraw from his or her personal advancement in an effort to salvage the relationship for myriad reasons.

Relationship are a complex part of the expansion process because it requires not the growth of separate individuals to take place in lock-step fashion but the liberty and celebration of each participant to grow and expand at his or her own pace, with style and grace, in their own time and place in space.

This means focusing on your journey and keeping on track, while supporting your partner’s journey in his or her own way, which may look not much like the way you are growing and expanding, and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, but it is a cause for celebration.

There are three parts of a relationship. There is you, your partner, and the relationship. In the combining of two individuals together the sum of their parts should be greater than the whole. The greatest teams of all time are comprised of two very different individuals and what they create together is astronomical. This is what a successful relationship should look like.

Think about the successful relationships which have brought great things to the world, such as Ben & Jerry, Gates and Allen, Jobs and Wozniak, Page and Brin, Hewlett and Packard, and a host of others whose names could fill volumes of books endlessly. Andy of these people could have done something great on their own, but paired with a co-conspirator, supporter, and perfect synergy of push/pull magnetic balance led to a brilliant magnificence.

Think about it, if you and your partner are pretty much the same, one and one make one, which is not a bad thing. If you have trouble getting along with other people or have been in difficult relationships in the past, a little “it’s easier to live with myself,” (even if it includes someone just like me), might be just what you need. It’s comfortable and it will get the job done.

If you are quite different, the possibilities expand exponentially, now one and one makes eleven. The possibilities when combining of these two individuals can create a hybrid composite energetic chain reaction which far exceeds the potential of each separate partner.

Please, don’t feel frustrated to see your partner growing in a different direction, this is the making of the perfect energetic cocktail which can explode in the most meaningful and transformative metamorphosis, where you find yourselves working together in perfect synergy for impactful life-changing effect on those around you as well as the world at large.

You, as a couple, may not be satisfied with the routine of daily life and might be looking for ways to work together and make the world a better place, and with such zeal and efficacy that there is no way in hell that you could have pulled this off by yourself. Your relationship has expanded and exploded with a vitality and power that is nothing short of phenomenally miraculous.

And you thought you were getting frustrated about how your personal growth and expansion might be affecting your relationship negatively?

Stop looking at only the two parts (you and your partner), look at all three; you, your partner and the combination of the two of you in partnership, relationship. Step back and look at the possibilities of what the two of you could do together, what that could look like…

If you find yourself (either of you or both of you) faced with an obstacle or challenge, find a way to retreat into your inner counsel, inside yourselves and with each other in concert. This is a partnership and when the going gets tough, the two of you need to run to each other and find or create a way to slay the dragons or the demons who might be preventing you from achieving your highest and best.

This could be, and should be, a sacred union between two, a bond that cannot be broken.

Sure, it will take work. None of those famous partners would have achieved any success had they not looked adversity in the face, and struggled to survive and dominate over the challenges they faced, but they did it together.

And you will find or create a way to do so, together, arm in arm, you are unstoppable.

You got this.