Fear of Failure

I work with people every day (and have every day of my adult life) who second-guess themselves. Even you, reading these words right now; you have a dream… Something you want so bad you can taste it… but something keeps you from reaching out to grab what is already yours.

Fear of failure

I can tell you, right now, the only thing that is holding you back is fear of failure (atychiphobia). Fear of failure is the reason that most people (19 out of 20) do not pursue what is rightfully theirs.

Why do I boldly say, “what is rightfully yours?” Because Thought is Precognitive. That is to say, if you have the idea, you have the right to see its fulfillment; if you can overcome your fear and take action.

Certainly there are many methods to overcome fear and build courage, just as Uncle Albert (Einstein) is quoted as saying, “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” Which means that you must be willing and able to do what needs to be done, even if it’s not perfect or may fail altogether, to get what you want.

You learn far more from a strikeout than a home run. Innovation (doing something that has never been done before) comes from trying something in a way that might not work (so, there is some element of risk).

You must be willing to

#1 Take Action

and to do so, even if it means that you must

#2 Be Willing to Fail

Here are some things that can help to bridge the gap between the fear and the satisfaction that comes from doing the very thing that once intimidated you.

Visualize

Just like Edison’s light bulb (he saw it in his mind’s eye as being already completed) and after many attempts (1,000) the light bulb became a reality. You must visualize before you materialize. So, make a vision board, and utilize the gift of your imagination to see it in its completion, as if it is already done.

Dig Down

Sometimes its good to spend some time introspectively to see if you can uncover those things that exist inside of you that may be impeding your progress. Keep in mind, the deeper you dig, you could discover programming that goes all the way back to your earliest childhood. When you uncover these nasty weeds that are choking out your potential harvest, pull them out – roots and all. You may realize, when you find them, that they were silly in the first place, yet served their purpose to give you a sense of safety and security in those formulative years.

Create a Map

Make a map delineating where you are and where you want to be (your completed goal). Make sure to note all the towns you must go through (smaller goals or milestones between here and there) on the way to your destination. The more mile markers you can pass between here and there, the closer you are to what you want.

Remove the Fear

If you’re still feeling the fear, embrace it, then eliminate its emotional impact. Using your imagination, increase your fear, hesitation and anxiety to as high a level as you possibly can, then use the Penny for Your Thoughts routine to remove the emotional component.

What if I Fail?

Fail Forward

Stop looking at “failure” as failures. Look at them as stepping-stones, but give them all the honor and value they deserve. For instance, ask yourself these questions:

#1 What was the blessing?

Sometimes the interruption of your progress, changes your direction to something far better, other times (though you may only realize it later) you were able to circumvent a potential catastrophe. See the blessing.

#2 What did I learn?

You can learn far more from a failed attempt than a wildly successful endeavor that comes easily. Look for the Return On Failure. What were the (sometimes hidden) secrets that you now possess, having not succeeded in the manner that you anticipated?

#3 How can I do it better?

Armed with the knowledge of potential pitfalls (due to your own personal experience) what can you do the next go-round to make sure that the same outcome does not repeat itself.

Sometimes people ask me what I am afraid of? Regardless, I push-through to

Be Willing to Make Mistakes

I like to say,

“I make mistakes but I don’t make the same one twice.
I make new ones.”

This creates the necessary momentum to keep moving forward.

You Are Never Alone

I saw you sitting there, looking a little forlorn, by yourself.

I know how you’re feeling.

You feel like all of this – this world, this life – is almost too much to handle.

You’re thinking, “Why?”

Thank you for letting us do this life together you are not alone

Really? The answer is all around you. I think it’s so interesting how you can’t see it, when it’s everything that is.

You are the reason for all of this.

You are the why.

Every blade of grass, every grain of sand, every drop of water, every leaf on every tree, every flower, fruit and vegetable is here for you.

Every insect, every sea creature and fish; every bee, butterfly, bird, earthbound creature and creepy crawly-thing, all of it here for you.

Every living thing (and even the things that you think are not alive), all things seen, unseen, to be experienced and less likely to be experienced – all available to you.

You are the only reason why the rain falls, the wind blows and sun shines.

The air that is breathed would not be, if not for you.

You are the reason for all the peoples in all the lands in all their various types and styles… all of them in all their contrast and differences, all for you.

For you, and you alone, everything in this universe, the stars and planets – and all the universes that have been discovered – and all the universes yet to be known… all here because of you.

You are my eyes, my ears and thinker of my thoughts.

Without you, nothing that could be experienced, felt, thought of or known could ever be.

Without you, all of this – nothing – would exist.

I apologize for others who have made your life appear to be hard, there is much liberty and a certain randomness that is in the mix, to increase your experience of all that is.

What kind of life would you have, if there were no surprise, no love, no struggle, no loss; no contrast?

You have the opportunity to experience and learn all things, choose what path(s) to take, feel what you feel, think or do anything you want… and there are challenges.

Every challenge a new opportunity to maximize your experience of all that exists for your pleasure or pain… you get to choose your experience.

Every emotion that you feel is a choice.

All of this is for you; to have the full spectrum experience of all that is, has been or ever shall be.

Every nanosecond of every day of your life I am grateful for the life and knowledge you have given me.

You are never alone.

We share all of this – together you and I – for without you not only would none of this be, neither would I be.

I do not want to impact, disrupt or influence your experience in any way, but sometimes wish that you could see from our perspective, everything that you mean to us (you and me).

Then, you would not be sad.

You would savor each and every moment and opportunity to experience all that is and choose to feel good and live the best life ever.

Thank you for letting us do this life together.

Carmen is Safe and Secure

Try to imagine what it must be like for Carmen…

She has wrapped herself up as if swaddled and for the moment she feels safe. The life that is teaming all around her is going on, everyone doing his or her own thing but she is safe and secure.

She hears laughter but she also hears fighting, arguing and feels a potential sense of impending danger outside of her snug cocoon. “Safely I’ll remain, here inside,” she assures herself, better than having to deal with the potential threats that she can hear.

Time passes, sometimes she can hear – and even feel – compassion, love and tenderness, only to be interrupted by the stark contrast of selfishness, hate and cruelty. Almost tempted to exit this safest of places, thankful that she decided to wait for an, “All clear,” the sign that never seems to come… yet she waits.

Carmen is safe and secure Who is Carmen
Carmen is safe and secure. Who is Carmen?

“Water,” she thinks, considering a short escapade to risk exposure for a drink. Then, she thinks about the water; how it’s not the authentic water that she’d heard so much about. The water that quenches one’s thirst and satisfies; clean and pure. She realizes that she has no access to that level of hydration because the water has so many additives and toxins. Even thought it is somewhat palatable, it is actually quite toxic. Rejecting the idea of running the risk of certain death, she assures herself that her body has enough moisture to carry her through this time of withdrawal.

She hears the news of hate crimes and wars; can even make out the sounds of sirens, gunfire, warring aircraft and bombs exploding in the distance. Snuggling her swaddling around her even more tightly, she is safe and this level of solace and safety is far more pleasant than being exposed to the cruel world outside.

Continuing to wait, Carmen considers her need for nourishment. She thinks about what food may be available; she knows it’s not good. What with all the food originating from sources with faces, full of hormones, additives, genetically modified organisms (GMOs), with bacteria running rampant and potential exposure to radiation; Carmen reasons she’s better off spending her own natural reserves while she waits… and remains safe. Besides, there is so much starvation throughout the world, her portion would better serve someone else embroiled in the ensuing battle.

Carmen hears a familiar voice, a warm, calm voice that makes her feel even more safe and secure. Maybe it’s time to consider coming out, risking what the future may hold… she pauses… listens intently… hears only silence… What could it mean?

Suddenly the silence is breached with sound of mayhem and the strongest feelings that she is better of here, secluded, than exposed to possibly the end of the world, as we know it.

Carmen is feeling tired, weak and sleepy, as if the very life were passing from her… Never knowing if and when her current concern of thought might be her last…

If there is another life after this one, it must be better than this; Carmen considers this to be a better option as she feels the life slipping away… Clinging to her cocoon, she senses this is her end, as she feels compelled to embrace the light calling to her from within and/or beyond…

Carmen is safe and secure.

Who is Carmen?

Living Your New Stress free Life

Now that you’re getting back in the driver’s seat of your life, it’s time to do some serious driving.

There are certain things you need to do to ensure your life remains less stressful.

Stress free top 10 stress free life hacks

Top 10 Stress Free Life Hacks

#1 Start your day happy

Put on upbeat, happy music, feel free to dance, or have an upbeat comedy playing on the TV (no news). Feel free to laugh at the funny parts (even if it feel awkward, at first). Be looking for opportunities for creating more joy and laughter throughout your stress-free day,

#2 Dress and prepare for a great day

Shower, dress and get made up like it’s going to be a great day, because it is going to be.

#3 Remove stressors

As you progress through each day of your new stress-free life, look for ways you can reduce or eliminate stressors in your life, even if it means avoiding people in your life who make you feel stressful.

#4. Jot it down

Challenges

If you run into a situation that makes you feel stressful or overwhelmed, write in down in your little hand-sized notebook that you keep in your pocket or purse. Use the Penny for Your Thoughts routine, if you feel like you need to remove the emotional charge.

Gratitude

As you traverse through your day, record all the good things that happen (or thoughts that occur to you) into a similar notebook. You can make reviewing and updating this notebook part of your wind-down routine in the evening.

#5 To Do List

You don’t have to be super-organized to keep track of a simple (maybe 10 item) To Do List. Keep in mind that this is your stress-free to do list; that means no judgment or imposed self-punishment. If you don’t get a thing done today, transfer it to tomorrow’s list, if you want. If you don’t want to do it…

#6 Outsource

Anything that is unpleasant – that you’d rather not do yourself – outsource it. Trade, barter or pay someone to perform the tasks that you’d rather not do. Enjoy the benefits of doing less. Maybe consider…

#7 Take a 30-Minute Phys-break

Set aside at least 30 minutes every other day (start there, increase to 30 minutes daily, or up to an hour a day, whatever is more meaningful without adding undue stress) for some light exercise. Does not to be rigorous exercise or organized, like going to a health club or yoga class, but something to get you breathing, moving and heart beating.

#8 Hug or Snuggle a Pet

The target for optimal mental, physical health and stress reduction is eight hugs per day. If it is stressful trying to maintain the 8 hug per day goal, replace or intersperse 8 prolonged pet snuggles per day. You and you pet will benefit together.

#9 Treat or Reward Yourself

Try to avoid (or minimize) using food as a reward (for the obvious reasons)and you needn’t go shopping to reward yourself for the continued living of your stress-free life. Consider a bath with candles, do your nails, watch you favorite movie, play your favorite video game, etc…

#10 Recruit a Third-party

Get a counselor, therapist or coach to join you on your journey. Making huge transitions and transformations can be much easier with an accountability partner. Also having someone to bounce off ideas and share frustrations can help you make massive progress toward living your stress-free life.

Stress Free

You have the right to live your life stress-free. You understand the price that can be paid for not dealing with your stress, you have the tools necessary to deal with your stress, now it’s time to get down to the business of dealing with the root of your stress and

Do the Deep Work

Stress free

Define, Realize and Redefine

Get a piece of lined (or unlined) paper, draw two vertical lines down the middle of the paper creating three columns. Above the left-hand column title it “Stressors.” Title the center column “Blessing” and the third column “Affirmation.”

You’re probably rolling your eyes, right now, but stay with me…

In the left-hand column, define by listing all of the things that are stressing you out; the things that make you feel bad and cause you distinct anxiety.

Once you have done this, a quick review of the Stressors column will have you agreeing without these things in your life, you would be much happier and you would be able to life a stress-free life.

The items you have written down as stressors may have pain or discomfort associated with them. How do you feel when you read these statements out-loud? If you feel uncomfortable restating these items, disconnect their emotional impact by using the Penny for Your Thoughts ritual.

After you have disconnected their hold over you, you can state them without the bad feelings associated with them and begin to see them for what they are and further deal with them.

The next step (even though it might seem impossible, may seem a little more possible in this moment) is to write the blessing within the stressors. This could be the blessing hidden within the stressor listed.

For instance the stressor might be, “I don’t have enough money to pay the light bill.”

The blessing within the stressor, is, “It is a blessing to have access to power.”

In the right-hand column, list the opposite of the stressor. In this example, the opposite might be, “I have the more than enough money to pay all my bills.”

Armed with the Blessings and Affirmations, you are ready to experience an effective stress-free visualization exercise. Fold the left column toward the back, so as to expose only the middle and right columns.

Stress-free Visualization

Now (and possibly part of your wind-down ritual as you ready yourself for slumber), put yourself in a totally relaxed position and calm your body and mind by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing.

Breathe slowly and deeply. After you have to taken your first three of four deep breaths you will feel a greater sense of calm. Next we will ramp up your personal power by (visualizing) breathing-in white light from above through the top of your head and into your heart, as you exhale, imagine the white light passing throughout your body, permeating every cell.

Once you can see (in your mind’s eye) your body as full of white light. You can start with the first Blessing on your list. Feel the goodness of this blessing. Then repeat the Affirmation. With your eyes closed take a moment to fully engage all your attention on the highest and best manifestation of this concept. See yourself doing it and imagine with all your senses all of your desires fulfilled, as they are associated with your affirmation.

Visualize your affirmation fulfilled by hearing the sounds associated with it – including hearing and seeing your friends and loved ones congratulating you on your success in this area. Be sure also to engage your other senses of touch, smell, and taste.

When you’ve finished your list, give yourself a big hug… You’re about to begin living your new stress-free life.

Next Up: Living Your New Stress-Free Life

April Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of April, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

How to relieve stress eat right good nights sleep nutrition rest
How to Relieve Stress
Penny for your thoughts
Penny for Your Thoughts
Stressed out
Stressed Out
MIss More I Need a New Drug
Miss More I Need a New Drug
I am so sorry for your loss of a loved one and grieving
Everyone is Dying
Scientific experiment of life expereincing life as a science project
The Scientific Experiment of Life
How to be confidant self talk
How to be Confident Self Talk
Happiness how to be happy
Happiness How to Be Happy
Hurtful words when words hurt
Hurtful Words ~ When Words Hurt
Live and love like its all that matters because it is
Love Like it’s the Only Thing That Matters
End of the World if the world ends tomorrow
Are You Ready for the End of the World?
What is a Psychopath
What is a Psychopath?
7 Steps to Effective Marketing
7 Steps to Effective Marketing
Your Contribution is the missing piece
Contribution or Distraction
Conspiracy Theories The Truth area 51 aliens
Conspiracy Theories The Truth
Men dont kill other men... its just a game.
Men Don’t Kill Other Men
Till death do us part marriage divorce love you are not disposable
Are You Disposable?
What would you do with 20 million dollars
What Would You Do with 20 Million Dollars?
I cant trust anyone
Why is Everyone Always Bugging Me?
We coexist here there on the other side and other dimensions simultaneously
Is It Possible to Be in Two Places At Once?
Steve Martin Special Purpose Bernadette Peters The Jerk
I’ve Got A Special Purpose!
whats right with me are my strengths special abilities super powers
What’s Right With Me?
Judeo Christian businesses supported by God Almighty
Why Judeo-Christian Businesses Are More Successful
Thats not what he meant to say Miss Interpretation misinterpretation
Meet Miss Interpretation
They are watching you What do they know about you Lack of privacy
Lack of Privacy What They Know
Success what it really looks like
Dream, Team, Laser Beam
What does your superhero mastermind group look like
Is It Time for TEAM?
overcoming fear courage builders prayer visualization modeling tapping affirmations
What Are You Afraid Of?
Branding-You-dot-com-Connect-the-dots
Branding You dot Com

April 2016 wrap up images self help

How to Relieve Stress

If you’re suffering the effects of stress, there are two systems that need to be dealt with to ditch the stress and get you back in charge or your life. They consist of surface work (mitigating the damages of the symptoms) and deep work (getting to the root of the stressors).

The first thing to focus on is to get you feeling better and healthy enough to consider doing the deeper work.

Feeling Good

You must have the basic building blocks to regain your personal power, so starting with nutrition will equip your body and mind with the necessary components to get you feeling good enough to find joy and the wherewithal to tackle even more to increase your happiness by reducing your stress exponentially.

How to relieve stress eat right good nights sleep nutrition rest

Battle Stress with Nutrition

To start, review your diet. Are you eating balanced meals (three meals a day or five smaller meals throughout the day), taking vitamins and/or supplements?

If not, start here. Get to eating better and more often; usually a correlation is found between diet (which can throw your system out of whack) and stress indicators. Eat healthy food.

30 minutes prior to eating, drink a glass of water. Make sure your meal includes some fruit and vegetables. Think about adding fruits like oranges, strawberries, and grapefruit, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, cranberries, apples, avocados, cherries, pears, plums, pineapple, prunes and kiwifruit, which are also helpful in stress reduction.

Other stress-fighting foods include avocados and fatty fish like tuna, salmon, herring, and sardines; also red peppers, green peppers, baked potatoes, tomatoes, artichokes, broccoli, red cabbage and white and sweet potatoes, small red beans, black, kidney beans, pinto beans, walnuts, pistachios, pecans, hazelnuts, almonds, green tea, coffee, red wine, pomegranate juice, oats, flaxseeds or flaxseed oil and chia seeds.

I’ve been a fan of dark chocolate for years. You might be surprised to discover that it has valuable nutritional value (if not magical medicinal value) especially if it’s 65% or more cacao and the less processed, the better for battling stress. Remember to partake in moderation, 1 oz. After each balanced meal.

Add the minimum of a multivitamin taken daily can help get your biological system back on track.

Restful Sleep

Giving your body the restful sleep it needs is essential for winning the stress battle. Even if you feel like you don’t have time, you need to create a stringent schedule for getting the zees you need. Set specific times to go to sleep and get up as you put yourself back in the driver’s seat of your life.

How to wind down for sleep

You will sleep better if you prepare your mind and body for restful sleep a half-hour to an hour before turning in. Things you can do to get ready for a good night’s sleep include taking a nice, warm bath, dimming the lights, reading a relaxing book, playing some relaxing music, relaxation stretching exercises, focused breathing,

Things to avoid before going to sleep include eating, watching television, computer, social media, texting, processing paperwork, journaling (do that before preparing for bedtime), alcohol, coffee, tea and chocolate.

What’s Next?

Now, that you’re body and mind are ready, it might be time to consider

The Deep Work to Eliminate Stress

Penny for Your Thoughts

To use this process, you will need some privacy, a copper penny and the ability to reduce your discomfort to a single emotionally-charged statement.

A. The statement

An example might be something like:

Penny for your thoughts“I hate it when (insert name) disrespects me and treats me like garbage. He’s (or she’s) a dirty rotten (insert expletive)!”

Make certain to include his/her name and some inappropriate name-calling (even if you might not do it in front of anyone in real life) and make sure that when you speak the statement you muster up all the bad feelings you possibly can.

Say the statement out-loud just to make sure it is an emotional match to how hurt or mad you are.

B. Place and charge the penny

There are three location of your body that you will hold the penny flat against your body with your non-dominant hand.

The Places

1. Head
Just above and between the eyebrows against your forehead
2. Heart
Over your heart
3. Stomach
Mid-way over your stomach-area.

Starting with the head location, hold the penny flat against your forehead, repeat your emotionally-charged statement (you should feel the negative emotion as much as you possibly can) and charge the penny.

The Charging

As you repeat your statement, tap the penny at a comfortably rapid pace with a finger (or multiple fingers, if that is more comfortable for you) of your dominant hand.

This charges the penny with the electrical components of the emotional charge from your body.

Repeat as many times as necessary, repeating the phrase and charging the penny at the head, heart and stomach locations.

Usually three rounds of head, heart and stomach will yield a major reduction in your level of pain and/or discomfort.

C. Discard the penny

Smile. You feel better. You’re done with that penny and statement. You will find that you can now verbalize that very statement without feeling the emotional pain connected to it. Congratulations!

It’s so effective, you might like to get another penny and try another painful emotion that you’ve kept bottled up inside.

Stressed Out

When you feel stressed, it can be a clear indication that it’s time to take a look at your life and make some adjustments before things get worse.

Stressed out

Even the most successful and powerful people in the world can be the victims of stress, the oft’ ignored silent killer – or certain to potentially affecting greatly one’s quality of life – regardless of anyone’s station (or status) in life.

Stress, if left unattended and allowed to become worse or more intense, especially through long-term neglect or indifference, can have serious consequences. Stress is the leading cause of maladies leading to serious health conditions, illness and hospitalization due to increased likelihood of suffering from high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and cancer.

Stress can cause one’s autoimmune system to break down leaving you more susceptible to heartburn, indigestion, stomach aches, dizziness, diarrhea, weak bladder (leading to urinary tract infections), loss of breath, shallow breathing, hyperventilation, heart palpitations, headaches and leave one more prone to catching a cold or flu viruses.

Increase of body aches and pains expressed as muscle tension, back, head, shoulder and neck pain. Sufferers may also experience tired (dry) eyes, dry mouth, stiff (or locked) jaw, sweaty palms, cold hands and fingers.

Stress can be a healthy alert

If you are alert to the signs of unwelcome stress, you can more readily diagnose yourself as suffering from undue stress, assess and address the conditions causing the stress and take action to turn your life around, get back on track and have a more joyful and fulfilling life; full of health and vitality.

Early diagnosis

The key is to notice the indicators alerting you of your growing stress levels, because a person can only take so much before it starts to infect other biological systems. While the human body is the most magnificent creations known to us, one can only take so much.

In any case, you’ve noticed that you are no longer the person that you used to be.

Here are some clues that you might be accumulating too much stress in your life:

Are you jumpy or easily agitated?

An increase in irritability, feeling irritable, on edge, impatient or intolerant – especially if this is not your standard demeanor – could indicate that it is time to review your stress levels.

Parents get more intolerant of their kids, at work you’re less likely to overlook the actions of a coworker, are increasingly disrespectful to your boss (which could lead to losing your job, greatly exasperating your stress level) or you might find yourself snapping at the store clerk, for holding up the checkout line.

Those under too much stress can suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, panic attacks, anger, resentment, emotional instability leading to otherwise controllable outbursts, on the verge of tears, increased moodiness or nightmares; certainly an inability to find joy or laugh.

Stress can take a toll on your state of mind including racing thoughts, being more talkative. Dominating potential conversations, not allowing others to speak and interrupting them if they attempt to get a word in edgewise.

Loss of concentration, ruminating over the past, thoughts of overwhelm, reduction in decision making capabilities, a growing sense of fatigue and being tired all the time.

This growing intolerance in allowing others to participate in the fringes of your life can lead to isolating one’s self and becoming reclusive, withdrawing from society. This can lead to other behavioral issues, like becoming more aggressive.

You may be more prone to outbursts of anger, a reduction in cognitive function potentially blurring moral cues that could lead to an increasing potential of breaking the law and even criminal acts.

You may become more nervous, affecting your daily routine. Some people become a workaholic, while others take on other nervous attributes that could include hair twirling, biting one’s nails, teeth grinding, twitching, leg bouncing, foot tapping or excessive smoking.

If you are finding yourself experiencing higher levels of stress, and it is affecting who you are as a person, there is hope…

Tune in tomorrow for How to Relieve Stress.

Miss More I Need a New Drug

Ever really enjoy a certain thing so much that you just want to do it all the time?

Then time passes… you’re doing the thing that is so much fun – a lot – then it’s just not as fun as it used to be. You look for ways to spice it up, to add new life to your old source of inspiration and relight the fire… and it works… for a while.

MIss More I Need a New Drug - jetrelAs you single-mindedly focus on this activity that brought you so much pleasure, in the knowledge that participating in it always makes you feel good, you continue to regain those good feelings by doing it more or in different ways.

Disappointment leads to seeking other ways to satisfy one’s need to feel good and you find yourself in search of the services of Miss More. Miss More knows what you want and has the resources to help connect you with that which you seek.

I Need a New Drug

It’s no different than the life lived by a drug addict.

Our brain seeks pleasure; we want to feel good. Participating in an activity that gives our brain a surge of Dopamine gives us the pleasurable response of that feeling great experience that we all desire. If doing something makes us feel good, Miss More assures us that we will feel even better if we do it even more.

The Problem

As we engage in a similar activity over and over again, the neurological connections between the pleasure-seeking system and the Dopamine-producing components of the brain begin to deteriorate.

Just like the recreational user of drugs, like cocaine, who receives a huge surge of Dopamine when they take the drug, needs more and more of the substance over time. In many cases the user becomes increasingly more addicted to the substance, as previous doses achieve less satisfactory levels of joy.

Of course there are other things that spike Dopamine levels that make us feel really good too, like falling in love, longing to be intimate with a particular person, making out, consummating our affection physically, taking a chance with the possibility of great reward or enjoying the most flavorful foods.

All very good activities that create a natural neurotransmission of Dopamine, making us feel so amazingly wonderful. Is it any surprise that we embrace the activities that make us feel so good?

Even though we have access to the very best meal of all time – if it’s all you eat – satisfaction wanes, leaving you wanting more.

‘Ere the things that once brought us great pleasure lead us down a path to lust, infidelity, excessive gambling and other irrational addictive behaviors.

This also applies to other activities, like climbing the corporate ladder, entrepreneurial activities, investment strategies, greater learning and spiritual aspirations.

The Solution

The first rule in sustained joy is to maintain a more consistent level of the Dopamine molecule without running the risk of destroying the connection between the desire and the Dopamine neurotransmitter. So,

Do what you love

Engage in the activities that make you happy. These are good things (as long as they don’t impinge on the rights of others) whatever they are. Just don’t do it obsessively. When Miss More shows up with the answer, kindly acknowledge her affirmation of how wonderful you’re feeling, and

Do it in moderation

It really is as simple as maintaining the connection between what you want and the pay-off of pleasure.

Miss More shocked by moderation - jetrel
Miss More just can’t believe that you don’t have to have it now!

Do something else – in between – and do what brings you the most satisfaction with moderate frequency. Realizing, full well, that Miss More will be somewhat disappointed (something she’s not accustomed to) if you entertain her with moderation.

Use it as a reward

In this manner, you can increase your productivity by engaging in activities that are less satisfying (doing the things that need to be done that have little or no sense of satisfaction) then engaging in the Dopamine-producing activity after completion out of duty.

 

See, Miss More will still be on-board, just held at bay somewhat (she’ll get used to it) and you’ll be happier and have more satisfaction over time.

Love, love, love.