Blog | David M Masters

Making Sense of Wasted Love

I know, you’ve loved with all your heart, just to have your heart broken over and over again. It’s as if all the love you’ve given was a waste. It’s up to you, whether your past love is a waste or an investment. Maybe the time has come for making sense of wasted love.

“I love. I love people, I love you. I seriously want the love of another in my life, ‘The One,’ but I keep attracting the wrong people. I mean, they’re nice enough, but I have this history of failed relationships when I only want one person to spend the rest of my life with.”

I hear it a lot, from clients and friends, pretty much the same sentiment, looking for an elusive long-lasting love; one that would last a lifetime. Many of us (even I) have longed for such a love.

The first thing to know is that you have a divine love affair with one person with whom you will spend the rest of your life with. That person is standing right in front of you, if you’re looking into a mirror. Your wish was answered before you were born. Your first, primary love affair is the one that you have with yourself.

This is the beginning of true love, because how can you truly love anyone or anything else, if you don’t love yourself first? The truth about true love is that it overflows from your love of yourself and your life onto and into others. This is true love.

That aside, your life is a story of your journey made up of many chapters. Each chapter unfolds the way that it does preparing you for the next chapter. The most exciting life stories have growth and change in many (if not all) of the chapters, with the occasional plot twist to add that unexpected/special something-something that makes it so much more exhilarating.

If your story is somewhat of a dysfunctional romance novel, keep living, keep reading… the best is yet to come.

The person who loves with all their heart, loving so hard that it hurts, and experiences tragedy and loss in their love relationships is being led through the greatest love story of all. It is hard, no doubt, but it will be worth it.

As with all things in love, learning true love is a process. You can tell if your journey of love has been difficult, that “love” is the major theme of your life’s story. You can move more quickly through this process of learning about true love, and loving truly, if you are quick to learn the lesson of your relationship training, which will prepare you for a greater love.

“But I keep attracting the same kind of person.”

“It’s as if my picker is broken.” Believe me, your picker is not broken. You are not selecting the same type of person out of some subconscious sadistic need to torture yourself. You will keep going ‘round and ‘round the merry-go-round (or even the “marry-go-round”) until you’ve grown in preparation for a greater love and learned your love lesson from this type of relationship.

If you have not extracted and processed the lesson, internalizing and nourishing your mind, your heart and your soul from the process of your last (or current) relationship, you will not be ready for the greatest love of all which awaits you.

In the moment that you had the thought in your mind and felt the desire for true love in your life, that spark lit up in the sky and your highest and best form of love was prepared for you, as was the course of study it would take to get you from where you are in life, to where you want to be, with all your dreams of true love are realized. In that moment, it was done.

Your prayer for true love has been answered in the best (almost sounding too good to be true, but nothing could be more exponentially worthwhile or true than truly fulfilled love) possible way. The love that awaits you is so good, in fact, that it supersedes your wildest dreams in terms of love.

The question is,

“Do I have what it takes to get from here to there?”

True love can be a grueling (if not seemingly cruel) course of study. Not everyone is called to seek a life of true love. Even though you feel like seeking true love is a yearning, a desire deep within every cell of your being to find true love, it is not as it seems.

The quest for true love is a divine calling.

It is clear that you have been called. The quest for true love is a major (if not the major) theme of your life. Are you ready to go on life’s journey to true love?

Then seek to learn, to grow in love. Once you’ve decided to do so, all the relationships you’ve been through ‘til now take on a new glow in the new light of expanded love. From this perspective, you can see the blessings and the lessons as your heart fills with gratitude for all those relationships which have gone before.

Want to learn more?

Think about attending my Awakening to True Love Workshop, coming to a location near you.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Forgiveness It Ain’t Easy

Want to know what the best thing you can do is? Forgive someone. When you forgive someone for something, your body heals, your love and your ability to love unconditionally grows. Forgiving makes you a better person, impacts your life, local community, and the community at large. Forgiving supports your living a better life, is part of living your best life and makes the world a better place.

Forgiveness, it ain’t easy – but there’s nothing better

Forgiveness is not for the faint at heart. It’s serious, meaningful business, and it’s not easy. It hangs in a delicate balance between good and bad, right and wrong, happiness and sadness, love and fear.

You spend your whole life trying to do the right thing while protecting yourself from things that make you feel bad. Though never seen by others, you are most sensitive to your emotions. They give your life meaning and are the most intimate part of who you are as a person.

In matters of the heart, you protect yourself with invisible walls of protection, an emotional force field. This protective force field consists of the elements of fear, to protect you from potential pain or danger, and may include self-righteousness, or a sense of superiority as well as disrespect, spite, anger, or hate. All in an effort to avoid the breaking of your heart.

If being emotionally hurt or betrayed is the worst thing that can happen to you, potentially wounding you far worse than any superficial wound on the surface which could be seen and treated on the physical body, the wounds suffered by your bleeding heart can be more painful, private and longstanding.

You can try to ignore these negative feelings, keep them bottled up inside, but all that does is allow them to fester, grow and eat away at you, like cancer. Left to their own devices, will cost you the potential of having a long and happy life. Harboring unforgiveness will be the death of you, and it is the invisible Grim Reaper for more people than could possibly be counted or imagined.

You are not an emotionless being. You were created to have these emotions, they are here not only to teach you, allow you to grow and flourish, but without them, you would never know all the beauty, grace, and happiness this life has in store for you.

The key is in managing and maximizing your emotions by learning to forgive, and the more you forgive, the more benevolent, loving, caring and enjoyment will be gleaned by living out your life in a higher vibration of love and tolerance.

You are more than your body, more than your emotions, more than what you see in the mirror. That higher, sacred part of you is your primary focal point in this life. Being able to take your eyes off your external experience and turn them inward and upward is your sacred gift.

Besides healing wounds held in the Fort Knox of your soul, forgiveness cleanses you from the specters of your past, helps you live freely in the now, and paves the way for your bright future.

Forgiveness is not as much about the other person as you might think. It is about you, your ability to forgive and move on in love, uninhibited by unforgiveness. There is no need to reconnect with the offender, especially if the offense was abusive in nature, no requirement to contact them, or notify him or her that you have forgiven them.

Forgiveness is your gift from and to you, affecting all the energies and people around you in the fields of love and light.

Forgiveness is a powerful force for good, banishing fear and promoting love for a better world.

As you learn to forgive, you will immediately see changes in the world around you. Your relationships will take on more meaning and grow deeper with an increased sense of connection. Your creativity will soar and love will abound.

The more you forgive, the more you can trust, and be empowered to experience greater degrees of freedom, health, and all the good things this life has to offer, wrapped in the warm blanket of love.

Forgiveness; it’s not easy, but it’s the greatest and most beneficial soul-work of all.

Fear not, and be willing to do the deep inner work for a better world.

Enjoy the Seventh Wave

You’re having a great day, you’re growing, changing and loving every minute of it. Know that your spiritual growth will come in waves and these waves come in cycles. Cycles of waves generally come in groups of fourteen, with a particularly long-lasting big wave halfway through the cycle. So, if everything seems to be optimal in your growth and performance, enjoy the seventh wave.

The seventh wave is always the biggest one, and when you first emerge on your spiritual journey, you have no idea which wave you are on when you start, so you ride the wave which presents itself to you. When you’re riding the biggest wave, you know it. Some people are lucky to catch the biggest wave their first time out.

Once you’ve experienced the big wave, you know the water will go out and another wave will come, it will not be as big as the last one, but another one is coming, and every so often (roughly every seventh wave) a big one comes; and when it does, enjoy the seventh wave.

Your spiritual journey works in waves. There will be times of great growth and expansion followed by a recession (the water going out, building for the next wave) and the diligent expansion explorer is preparing for the next wave during the lull.

Some people catch every wave, some try only to catch the biggest ones because they’re just more fun, and there’s other stuff you could be doing (like making out with an adorable sun-tanned god/goddess on the beach, or some other worthwhile distraction).

You have enjoyed the seventh wave, you feel like King Midas, everything you touch turns to gold, then the wave goes out… All of a sudden, you’re feeling more like King Dung. Get to know the cycles of life and energy, and realize that it comes in waves.

Jim Rohn said he can always predict the economic future, that

There Will be Expansion

Everyone gets excited about the thought that something good is coming; but he’s not finished with his economic prediction, he continues with

Followed by Recession

Everybody sinks and imagines losing all the money they’ve imagined making during the expansion. But Rohn has one more thing to add,

Savvy Investors Will Profit Wildly in Both

There was never a more accurate prognosticator of the economic landscape and your spiritual journey will follow the same rhythm. It is the rhythm of life.

The savvy expansion explorer understands this universal ebb and flow, rests, regroups, continues to learn, grow, and change during the lull (recession) while staying diligently aware and in a state of preparation for the next incoming wave.

In between the waves, this is the time to review and evaluate where you are on your spiritual journey. Take the time to look and survey the beach all around you. Are you on the right part of the beach, or is it time to move up or down the beach to find a better spot?

Maybe it’s time to take time out for planning, the maintenance of your equipment, restock supplies, or wax your board. If you’re tending to your camp or nest, it’s okay to miss a few waves in preparing for maximizing your next one.

Every hour of planning saves three hours of execution. That’s a 300% return on your investment. Strategizing between waves is not only prudent, it’s mandatory for the savvy expansion explorer.

No matter where you are, or what you’re doing right now, that seventh wave is out there waiting for you. So, don’t lose faith when you’re not surfing, or maybe nowhere near the beach. The beach and the waves will still be there. They are waiting for you.

The seventh wave, when you catch it, you are on top of the world, everything seems precious and priceless. You are empowered, strong, intuitive, purposeful, fearless and you wish this wave could last forever.

Know that the wave will subside and the surf will retract. Get out of the water and get ready by strategically planning your interaction and maximization of your next wave. Don’t get caught in the undertow.

Blossom Like a Rose

Wake up. Your soul is waiting to be set free and blossom like a rose. Society, your friends, coworkers, and acquaintances are expecting you to neglect your soul and keep it safely locked away. For the religiously-inclined, there’s a good chance that your leadership doesn’t want you to tap into your soul-source and set it free, blossoming into life, either.

The sociological system depends on the hierarchy of power and strong division between groups, thereby making the masses easier to control as they are led to believe that they “choose” one group or another. For the system, it doesn’t matter what group you are aligned with, only that you can define yourself, and that you are either a leader or a follower of a particular set of thought constraints.

But the times they are a changing. You may have noticed your soul expanding and you’re starting to see the divisions differently. How acutely wise was it for Groucho Marx to proclaim, “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”

While anyone who might have the individual strength of character to think of such a thing, risking being labeled a narcissist or potentially being diagnosed with individuality psychosis, there are those who are courageously backing away from the mob and group mentality and beginning to think, feel, grow and expand on their own.

That part of you that has been denied free reign, that sacred part of you, is coming alive, and you are realizing there is more to this life than you’ve ever had the permission to imagine.

When you start to embrace your true spirituality (not the heavily controlled ritualistic following of a prescribed notion of someone else’s insistence) you start to grow, expand and see things in a different light, from a spiritual perspective.

From this perspective, you can see your place in the universe as well as the parts others and our planet plays in the cycle of all things. This allows you to experience greater love and compassion for others, and the world, as it is. You are likely to explore ways to tap into your soul-connection to the intelligent source energy that surrounds and permeates all things, life as we are able to experience it, and beyond.

You are starting to experience a sacred respect for life and the role that you are so blessed to play in it. As your connection increases, you may find yourself experimenting with meditation and prayer, as that spirit part of yourself cries out for connection and expression.

There are a divine love and peace which resides within you. It has always been there and will always be there, you need only to tap into it and embrace your soul’s journey. Love and connection to others through relationship, emotional and spiritual connection is your primary concern as the concerns of this world grow strangely dim.

You develop a reverence for the beauty and elegance of our planet, and seek a connection with it, whether in taking a stroll along a waterfront, traipsing through the wilderness, exploring the sky, or watching the sun rise or fall.

You are connecting with that deeper part of you and you connect to life all around you and find a sense of peace and calm in knowing you are a part of it all. You know it when you stop and smell the roses, and you realize you are the rose.

As you grow and expand the things in life which seemed so important, the things that distracted you from tapping into your soul, the energetic powerhouse that laid dormant within you, and kept you from achieving your highest and best, those distractions lose their hold over you. Day by day, you are less and less, affected by those invisible chains that used to bind you and still enslave others.

You are a young rosebud, your petals are forming and expanding, as the light of love and life illuminates and furnishes you the energy necessary for your expansion. It’s not something you need to (or can) force. No one can dictate how it will happen. This growth and expansion only need to be allowed. The more allowance, the easier the unfolding expansion is.

It’s easier said than done because we’ve been programmed against such liberty and true freedom to evolve individually. It’s hard to just let go and let it happen, but one day, there you are, your rose bursts open in all its glory, and you are beautiful, thriving and free.

If you are wise, you will find ways to keep your growing expansion somewhat a guarded secret from those who might have no possibility of fathoming what life might be like if they were uncontrolled and allowed to evolve. These people have been programmed to respond to any such idea of evolving beyond structured thought patterns as folly, a serious mental condition, or potentially criminal behavior.

Do not waste your time trying to explain yourself to someone who cannot possibly hear or understand what you are trying to say. They will not be able to conceive of it until that sacred part of them starts to awaken, but many will not.

This is not about them. You are not here to rescue anyone, except yourself, and all you need to do is let go and allow…

Until that day, when the awakening populace achieves critical mass and the entire human race evolves. Then, the world will indeed be a different place.

Have I Got a Deal for You…

You know what I’m talking about… You’re working along, building your business, following your path, executing your mission, doing your thing, and all of a sudden you run across an inspiring individual who presents you with the deal of the century, as he says,

“Have I got a deal for you…”

Oh, this deal is so great, a real ground floor opportunity. You’re presented with “facts and figures” mixed with optimistic speculation, and it sounds like such a good deal. You’re reminded of all the rags to riches stories you’ve heard throughout your life, and you’ve though, “If only I’d been in the right place, at the right time.”

The pitchman assures you, “This is your chance to hit the big time, all in one fail swoop.”

You think about how hard you’re working, how diligent and faithful you’ve been to your own project, and sometimes, you must admit, it’s seems more like work than you thought it would be when you first signed on.”

If this opportunity worked out, it needn’t require all of your focus. You could just basically dabble in it for a while and use the financial windfall to fund your real project, pay for what you need to get to the next level, or answer your true calling.

Plus, you’ve made sacrifices. Sacrifices who have also cost those around you, the people you care about. You’ve been working late hours, not taken high quality vacations, or spent the kind of time you’d like to with family and friends.

This opportunity would make the world right; and it only costs $X.xx amount to get started. Not unlike any of the headlines of stories you’ve heard about others who made a modest investment, taking a chance on something unfamiliar to them, and they became rich beyond their wildest dreams.

If your payroll was $27,000 and all you had was $5,000, would you withdraw the $5K and risk it in an all-or-nothing gamble in Vegas? (Okay, maybe not a good example, because Fred Smith did that, and ended up saving a young FedEx from extinction.)

I know, you’ve heard a multitude of lucky gambles, and you might try something that bold, and end up losing it all.

This is nothing new, people following their path, diligently doing the work to build their thing, being faithful and earnest, often suffer from Shiny Object Syndrome, with the hope that some miracle will help them enjoy the fruits of their labor, without all the labor.

There’s nothing wrong with being involved in more than one project at a time. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to build your holdings exponentially. Keep in mind though that for those who have done so successfully, proceed with caution in succession. That means they,

Get One Done

They complete one project, and get it to a place where it is self-sustainable, then consider adding another project or property.

If you do not do this, it may be the death-blow to your otherwise successful career.

We all love entertaining the idea of shiny objects, or imagining how the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, and there is no doubt that spreading your investments over a wide range of cyclical investments can add incredible stability to your organization and increase your efforts exponentially. But you can’t put the cart in front of the horse and expect a prudent outcome.

Your horse is what you’re tending to now. Take care of your horse until it is healthy and able to be profitable enough to cover its own expenses, caretaker and vet bills. Then, you can think about taking on another horse, creating, inventing, or investing in something “shiny” to add to your holdings.

You will get many opportunities presented by folks taunting, “Have I got a deal for you…” Thank them for sharing, and stay focused on your dream. Don’t put your dream at risk by being distracted by other opportunities that might end up in the loss of everything you’ve work for.

You got this.

Angel Encounters

What are the chances you will experience an angel encounter in your lifetime?

Angels are around and keeping a watchful eye on you. They will not interfere, but they are there, always, even if you’re unable to be aware of their presence.

Most of us go through our whole lives without experiencing some of the most incredible details that surround us in this dimension. So, it is reasonable to assume that even a greater number of us are unaware of the existence of other dimensions, which we cannot see clearly.

Angels are very real in high forms and low forms. The lower forms of angels have default access to us, but the higher angels are always monitoring us, loving us, joyous for us, weeping with us, and comforting us. It is likely you may never be aware of their presence unless you explore your sensitivities enough to become aware of their presence.

Some people regard angels as artistically inspired fiction, while some believe they are messengers in service of a church or religious organization(s), others believe they are aliens. It doesn’t really matter what you believe. What matters is that they are there. They have always been there, they predate our existence on this planet, and many of us experience angel encounters.

Angel encounters have been well-documented for as long as we were able to have means of documentation.

Have you had an angel encounter?

Have you experienced an angel encounter recently? Yes, they have been appearing and continue to appear even today.

While accounts of their encounters are recorded in religious texts, angels do not adhere or subscribe to any religious preference. They existed before we (mankind) did, and it is we who created religions in an effort to increase our connection to God.

You may argue (as most religious believers do) that God has a religious preference, but the angels do not. That’s why it’s not surprising that angels appear to people from all walks of life, believer and non-believers alike.

One on One Angelic Encounters

Today, reports of angelic visitation include intervention by a person who suddenly appears (as if from nowhere) and redirects your attention to avoid a potential catastrophe, then vanishes just as quickly as they appeared. Others report seeing an angel dressed in white, or full winged regalia, appear and then disappear, reporting a strong sense of, love, peace, safety, and security, which some report as being in the presence of God.

St. Paul speaks of such an appearance in Acts, “For there stood by me this night the angel of God…” (Acts 27:23) and it still is happening today.

Angels Among Us

Also, you never know when a person whom you do not know, appears in your life, looking just like an ordinary person, but is, in fact, an angel. St. Paul cautions us, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Hebrews 13:2).

These visitations are the most difficult to confirm, as sometimes, the actual benevolent and random act of kindness of one human being to another, conducted anonymously may be confused with the intervention of an angel. Even so, erring on the side of the divine is my preference, and may God bless all those who make it a priority to support others without recognition or reward. Angels, or not, their actions are angelic in nature.

In the Arms of an Angel

It is not uncommon for people who would otherwise be at their wit’s end, in desperation, depression, or pain, to suddenly feel comforted, loved and at peace, who insist that they are being held in the arms of an angel, or wrapped in an angel’s wings.

Such accounts are well-documented in religious texts, such as, “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.” (Psalm 91:4).

These are the most common examples of angelic visitation, and there are also signs that angels use to allow us to be aware of their presence.

Angels in Concert

Other accounts of being in the presence of angels include an overwhelming feeling of spiritual elation, and feeling as though the presence of many angels are surrounding the visited and experiencing the exhilaration in concert with the person reporting the angelic visitation.

Reports of this nature include people engaged in praise and worship in religious contexts, or overwhelming awe and reverence among creation, such as in nature, or nature in combination with solar or nocturnal beauty.

The feeling of being surrounded by a large number of angels who are actively engaged in sharing the event in concert with those feeling their presence and sharing in the celebration.

In any case, there is no denying the existence of angels. They are among us at all times. Whether you actually get to see one, or not, they are still there, step by step, sharing your journey with you.

How to Be a Nicer Person

When you’ve had a particularly hard life, it can get you down. As you go through life, you can get stuck seeing life from its seedy underbelly. This view can help keep you down, but you can raise your perspective and take a stroll along the bright side of life by getting ideas about how to be a nicer person.

If your vibrational set point is set at this lower perspective, even after visiting the good things life has to offer, you are likely to return to what you’re used to, your normal setting of this lower vibration.

In this lower vibration, it’s not uncommon to feel like a lone wolf, with the inability to trust other people, and you may even start to feel more comfortable, the less people you have around you, which could lead to isolation. In this state of mind, being somewhat of a hermit might feel better than putting yourself at risk of risking the plight of integrating with others.

One of the things you could do to raise your vibration would be to become a better person. I’m not saying you’re not a good person, you’re a fantastic person just the way you are. There’s no one else on this planet who is just like you. You are amazing. But, don’t let your vibration keep you down.

How to Be a Nicer Person

You could be a nicer person by reaching out to others and being a friendlier part of the human element as a whole. You do this by connecting to others. But how can you connect to the people whom you feel isolated from?

Decide to Be a Nicer Person

Once you’ve made the decision to become a nice person, you’ve got to let go of how you look at other people. You need to stop judging them. Everyone is just another person, just like you are. They use the bathroom and put their clothes on just like you do. You must be able to wrap your head around the idea that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Stop judging and stereotyping individuals by their appearance, their clothes, accessories or the car they drive. You have no idea what is going on inside that person’s life. Get used to the idea that you cannot tell a book by its cover, and stop trying to.

Let go of the idea that everyone is out to get you. No one is out to get you, unless you invite those to come and get you by psychically emitting the magnetic field of victimization by thinking thoughts, like, “everyone’s out to get me.” In that case, they will answer your call. So, stop doing that.

When you change the way you think about the people around you, the people around you change. You will see other people, those who you might have seen as potential threats, becoming nicer people as you are becoming a nicer person. When you learn to be a nicer person and follow these steps, being a nicer person is contagious.

Here are some ideas to ponder when thinking about getting closer to other people.

Do Something Nice

In our topsy-turvy fast-paced world, it’s easy to be distracted an not to pay attention to what’s going on around us in the real world, especially since more and more of us are checking our communication devices more often.

Being aware of your surroundings, you may be able to see someone whom you could bless with a random act of kindness. Like if you see someone who is height challenged (short in stature) trying to reach something on a upper shelf in a grocery store, just the simple act of reaching for the item on their behalf, can be a special small act of kindness on your part.

Nice people are often in the field of niceness and you find them doing nice things for others. Their attention to their surroundings keeps them alert for opportunities to do something nice for someone else. At the supermarket you could, grab a shopping basket and offer it to someone, allow someone to go ahead of you in the checkout line, or offer someone your parking space.

The idea is, no matter where you are, if other people are around you, there are opportunities to reach out and make someone’s day a little bit better. That’s what nice people do.

Get to Know Someone Else

It’s easy to get lost in your own world, especially if you’ve been spending a while in it alone. But getting to know someone means reaching out, inviting someone to share about themselves, then listen, like nice people do.

It’s easy to fall into picking up on other’s keywords, then interjecting stories and experiences about ourselves. When you’ve invited someone to open up, and they’ve raised the courage to open up, your interruption to interject your own experience or point of view, will shut them down. Good luck trying to get them to open up again. You will never get below the surface for a truly meaningful connection with this person.

Shut Your Trap

The best way, to connect with someone, to get to know them better, is to refrain from interrupting them telling about themselves. Let them speak about themselves. We all want to be heard, and if you’re willing to let them speak, people sincerely desire someone to listen to them (so much so, that they are willing to pay their hard-earned cash an hour for someone to listen to them).

People long to connect to other people, and they shouldn’t have to pay someone to do it. We all should be able to “be there” for each other.

So the next time someone begins to open up about themselves, do not interrupt them by talking about yourself. Just listen. You may actively listen, to prove to him or her your mind is not elsewhere by not checking your phone while they are speaking, looking them in the eyes, and repeating key points to them, confirming they have your full attention.

And when they’re done, before giving in to the urge of talking about yourself, ask them, “Is there anything more about that?”

You’ll be surprised how that simple invitation will give the person the permission and empower them to let you in even deeper. Again, resist interjecting, and when they’re done, ask them again, “Is there anything else?”

When they offer up, “No. That’s all.” Now, you can talk about yourself. If you’re asked, “What do you think about that?” Simply answer, “I understand what it must’ve been like for you.”

Be careful not to judge what they’ve just told you, or offer them advice, unless they specifically ask for input or advice.

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes

The other thing you can do, when someone is telling you their story, is to imagine what it might have been to be that person, living out their life, doing the best they can with what they have and having to deal with life’s challenges.

What might be no big deal for you, might be a huge catastrophe for someone else. Imagine what it might feel like to be in that other person’s skin at that moment. What would you feel like if you were that person, in that moment in time?

This is empathy, feeling another person’s feelings, that draws us closer and creates an emotional connection between two people in conversation.

Now that you’re connecting with others, you will find you are on your way to living a better life, possibly your best life, and now you can help make the world a better place.

People Click on the Darndest Things

While the Internet is one of the most amazing gifts of all time thanks to Tim Berners-Lee’s benevolent act of publicly releasing and not patenting his World Wide Web creation in 1989, which has grown virally since then giving us instant access to nearly unlimited data from around the world, it is proliferated with false information.

It’s a tough balance to maintain between data collection and free speech. We all agree (well, some of us) that someone should be able to think or say anything they want. Many of us use the Internet as a resource to access factual data, even events happening in real time that is not (could not have been, or might have been suppressed) by the media.

People Click on the Darndest Things

False Information Internet Narcissists (FIIN) stalk the World Wide Web scouring it to glean headlines, quotes taken out of context, and create photoshopped images to appease their addiction to obsessive click counting which send their dopamine system into orbit.

The quest for creating anything that “goes viral” on the Internet drives many non-malicious, twisted, thrill-seeking web surfers to create false information for the dopamine rush it provides (and maybe their 15 minutes of fame).

If you’ve ever posted something on Facebook that’s received a massive response, you know what the Internet-fueled hit of dopamine feels like. It’s a great high that makes you feel good, and it’s quite addictive. It’s what keeps us glued to our devices and clicking endlessly throughout our lives.

Not all of the fake news found on the Internet is spread in folly, some of it is posted and shared to manipulate the minds of Web-surfers. Before the present millennium, television, radio and newspapers were the media used to program and sway the minds of people to generate a particular mass mentality, and to separate us into manageable groups of polarized thinkers.

Now, the Internet provides us with a more effective access to each individual regardless of age. The programming starts as soon as a toddler is able to hold a device, and we all fall into line as it nearly becomes a demand that all individuals have access to a device connected to the Internet (though now, it is only a right, not a demand).

There are plenty of initiators of bad information with the malicious intent of controlling your thoughts or actions, as well as some who possess the well-meaning intent to sway the thoughts of others to align with their own perceptions and/or conclusions without malice.

When you are accessing information on the Internet, and you read something that seems quite fantastic, you might be better off doing a little fact-checking before joining the viral wave of fake news promoters.

We all do it. I even caught myself sharing a bit of falsified information because it was forwarded to me by a trusted friend. Because it was written in the first-person, I assumed it was written by my friend, whom I respected, and the message included a sincere request for me to share it on his behalf. (Which I’m embarrassed to admit, I did, without checking first.)

You cannot stop the spread of false information, but you can refuse to be party to its impact. Taking a few moments to do a little fact-checking before you re-post something can go a long way in slowing the spread of fake news.

All that Internet drama takes a toll on your physiology, causing cellular deterioration which can cause health decline for 8 hours following the emotional impact of a false news report.

Guarding your heart and your mind against getting sucked into a false media campaign will help you live a healthier, happier and longer life.

You’ve Been Deceived Now What?

You’ve trusted someone… and they let you down, cheated, lied, committed a criminal act, or otherwise taken advantage of you. When you’ve been deceived, your first instinct might be to ask the question, “How could I have let this happen?”

You need to cut yourself some slack as soon as possible because the fact is that we are surrounded by manipulative people who seek out good and honest people whom they can take advantage of. They can be quite crafty and covert and the fact that they chose you is a compliment to your character and an indication of his or her lack of character.

We all tend to project our own morality onto those within proximity. For instance, if you’re an honest, trustworthy person, you tend to see others as being honest and trustworthy, while liars see others as dishonest, and fear others are always hiding something and may deserve to be taken advantage of.

You’re somewhat in a state of shock because you wouldn’t think of doing this to someone else. Ready yourself to forgive yourself for falling victim to this circumstance, it was not your fault. You are not responsible for someone else’s misdeeds.

Of course, The kind of betrayal I am referencing is the misdeed with malicious intent, you must distinguish this type of activity from an honest mistake. Sometimes someone whom you’ve trusted does something that results in your feeling betrayed, but there was a distinct lack of malice, more likely they hadn’t thought things through far enough or realized that their inattention to detail would be offensive to you.

If someone has simply made the mistake of crossing you unwittingly, cut them some slack, and prepare to forgive them.

Be aware that there are people who may be looking to take advantage of others, but do not fall into the trap of living in fear. Many people may have the tendency to exploit others, and may include personality profiles such as narcissists, sociopaths and/or psychopaths, who are well-versed in building your confidence in them and grooming others for “the take.”

Once you’ve correctly diagnosed a person as one who would lie or otherwise take advantage of you, realize they are a snake. As much as they might beg forgiveness or try to charm you otherwise, a snake is a snake, and it will only set you up to bite you, even worse the next time.

Can people change? Yes. I am in the change business and I see it every day, but you have to learn how to deal with a liar, look out for you and take care of yourself and the others whom you care about. This is your responsibility. If this snake is a repeat offender, you have to do the right thing and take the action which is best for you and yours.

In becoming aware of the existence of individuals who may not have your best interests at heart, learn early detection methods of determining when someone might be being less than honest and pay more attention to potential warning signs early on when you are getting to know someone.

In the event that you are having a twinge, a sense that someone may not be as they appear, don’t be shy about checking out the details for accuracy. If you are uncovering holes in their stories and blatant inaccuracies, there’s no need to confront them about it, just place a safe distance between yourself and this person, and don’t let down your guard around this person.

Now that you are becoming more aware of people and learning how to see people as they really are, be careful not to fall into the trap of seeing everyone as a potential threat. Not everyone is out to get you, but once victimized, it can be easy to be absorbed in perpetual victim mentality (which will only attract more predators) so avoid the temptation to do so.

Remember the good and honest, trusting person that you were before this incident and embrace that part of you even more, only being aware enough to protect yourself in the future.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal dot com.

I Love You No Matter What

I talk about love, been in the love promotion business since I was a teenager, but what is love? Granted, love is many things and can be expressed and felt, imagined and contracted in so many ways, but what is love, really?

I mean, if you could aspire to find the highest and best love that could be shared between two people, that would undoubtedly be unconditional love. But what does it mean to love someone unconditionally?

I love the Jesus model of unconditional love the best, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). It doesn’t stop there. The unconditional Jesus-style love meant he was willing to sacrifice everything for anyone, even the people who didn’t like him, refused to treat him fairly, the ones who shunned and/or rejected him, no matter what.

And when addressing the love of a couple, Paul charges men to, “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).

In a world where divorce is big business and relationships are pretty much disposable, this seems like quite the burden to place on anyone who is contemplating a higher degree of love. Unconditional? I love you no matter what? It just seems too impossible.

Is it like those marriage vows that go like, “love, honor, and cherish?” Okay, sounds reasonable enough. “For richer or poorer,” well, okay… for a while, maybe. I mean how long can two live on nothing? And, “in sickness and in health.” Well, exactly how sick are you talking about? We all have limits.

The degree of love you have for someone else is based upon your limitations, for unconditional love is limitless, “I love you no matter what.”

I have friends in my life whom I love unconditionally, they can ditch me, turn their back on me, pitch a hissy fit, leave me stranded at the airport, even steal from me and lie both to my face and behind my back, and I love them no matter what.

Sure, my feelings may wain and falter, but my commitment to love them is unfailing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that people, no matter how well you know them, can be unpredictable at times, and of course this catches you off guard. Even so, their underlying strength of character remains, and if they are for real, they will return, when they have the ability to do so; or not.

I work with many people in relationships who are unwilling to even contemplate the idea of unconditional love because their partner is not good enough. Maybe their eye continues to wander, looking for a better deal, someone who is better suited for him or her, so their chances are better if they push all their chips onto the table, affirming they’re ready to be all in for unconditional love.

What if you don’t think your partner is capable of loving you unconditionally?

What if you once felt like you loved your partner so much, but nowadays, you’re, “just not feeling it.” Then what?

I like what Stephen Covey says, “Love her anyway.” He insists that love is first an action, and the feeling cannot help but follow the action. So, if you want to have the feeling of being in love, love first, and the feelings will come.

Does, “I love you no matter what,” mean that I love you even if you beat me or cheat on me?

No. In life, we all make choices and should have healthy boundaries. There is no vow which suggests that you agree to allow your partner to abuse you, and you will stay, no matter what. You have the inalienable human right to life, and to live in freedom and safety.

Following self-protection, you need to decide what your conditions for love are. But think about it before you do because if your love has conditions, could your love be unconditional?

No. Unconditional love has no conditions.

Are you man or woman enough to go there? To love someone regardless of who they are, what they do, if they hurt your feelings, occasionally break promises, treat you poorly, forget some detail(s), ignore you when you could use a little acknowledgment, lose their libido, etc. Or a million other reasons why your love might waver or fade?

Might you long for unconditional love?

Do you think you want someone to love you, whom you can love unconditionally?

Unconditional love raises the bar of love incredibly high. It is not for the faint of heart, for the heart must come before the head in terms of it.

Your mind is the enemy of unconditional love and cannot conceive of the concept of loving someone unconditionally. It will do anything it can to protect you from it, for the mind’s base emotion is fear. Loving from the heart is the only hope there is of having unconditional love, which embraces the idea that,

“I love you no matter what.”

See: Awakening to True Love Workshop

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

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