Are You a Curious Cat? Ask Questions

If you are a curious cat, ask questions.

As evolved as you might be, no one could possibly know everything, and if you’re like me, you have a lust for understanding, knowledge and seeing things from alternate perspectives. There are some things that are not offered as college classes, and the only way you could possibly have access to this information is to research it on your own and to query others who may have some knowledge or information about any particular topic.

Don’t be afraid. If you’re curious, ask questions. This is a powerful approach to higher learning.

Are You a Curious Cat? Ask Questions
Are you a curious cat? Ask questions.

If you’re of the persuasion to be more curious than your peers, the way you go about asking questions can make a difference. Here are some things to keep in mind that will support your curiosity, without being offensive to those who may have the answer to your questions.

Think about how you like to be approached by someone asking questions. Who gets access to the best information? If you’re like me, it’s the people who have a connection with and care about me.

Be Authentic

You don’t want to seem like you’re an underground reporter for the National Enquirer. People who have access to information or experiences that few of the rest of us have access to are used to being queried about the surface questions, dirty secrets or tabloid-worthy aspects of their particular area of expertise.

Since they are used to having people inquire about their area of expertise, they are normally somewhat on guard and have standard surface replies or sound bites that satisfy the people who ask them questions about what they do, where they’ve been, or what they know. If you want to get to the deeper knowledge or meaning, you need to connect with them and gain their trust.

What Are You Looking For?

Have an idea about what you’d like to know. If you have time, prepare by getting some basic information on their area of expertise beforehand. The Internet can be a powerful tool in preparing you with the basics, as well as possibly indicating questions that others may have about the topic.

If most of your opportunities are spontaneous, you can use this opportunity to honestly state upfront that you are a novice in their area a expertise, and first desire to know some basics.

Exercise Humility

Try to ask questions that come up along the way, while remembering to find was to relate their area of expertise to their personal life, without getting too personal. Once they have briefed you on the basics, you can dig deeper because you are respecting their position as the master, and you as the learner. They are more likely to divulge more than surface information to someone who sees them as more of a mentor. So, honor them with this respect.

Never exert your expertise or knowledge indicating that you are to be considered a comrade on an equal level. There’s no more certain way to get them to not let you in too deep. Don’t challenge them or appear to be adversarial, rather take on the perspective of a respectful student and you will learn more by being humble.

Give and Receive

Certainly, when you are the inquisitor, you are receptive to any information you might be able to gain access to, but seek to give even more. While you may not be an expert in their arena of knowledge, caring about them as a person, and also showing an interest in him or her as a person can help them engage more freely and openly.

One thing I do when I am in a powerful opportunity to exchange information is to add value to them by being open to the idea that the person I’m talking to, the keeper of the information, can learn something from me, or see something from a different perspective, from engaging in a conversation with me.

Even though I might know very little about their area of expertise, quite often, their own knowledge can somewhat expand, and they might even be inspired to dig deeper or start asking new questions as a light goes on inside their head or heart.

Listen and Connect

If you’re blessed enough to be experiencing an exchange of information with this person, then by all means be very attentive and listen to what they have to say. Feed their own words back to them and try to put your own understanding into it to gain a better understanding of what they are saying. This also communicates to them that you are interested in what they have to say.

Active listening creates a connection between people. This connection will indicate you are not just out to obtain data, or are merely passing the time away. Connected people communicate on a higher level.

Is There Anything You Can Do?

As you are exchanging information with this person, be thinking about ways you can support them, their effort (even if it’s just emotional support and empathy), or know someone who might be able to help their cause. You want to be supportive. Your support is not just limited to you, your skills, abilities, or personal resources; it also includes your network of family, friends and other connections. You might be able to refer them to an article or book you have read recently.

The more supportive you are to them, the more likely they will be to continue the conversation. By being interested in, and offering assistance to them and their cause, the more likely they will be to offer to help you out, quid pro quo.

Keep the Door Open

Once you have made a connection with someone, keep the door open. In this day and age everyone is busy, if this person reaches out to you, do not ignore them. Don’t let them monopolize your attention, but keep in contact, briefly (use your resources, such as email, text or brief phone calls). By keeping the door open and maintaining connection, this may come in handy and put you in an advantageous position to be invited to participate in something, or be referred to someone, you might not have otherwise had access to.

If you put them off or ignore them, your connection is lost.

Keep asking questions. Keep learning from others when you have the opportunity.

Are You a Curious Cat? Ask Questions.

Make an Impact via First Impressions

When people have been exposed to you and you have had the ability to interact with them, what do they do when you leave the room?

While people will make a decision regarding you in as little as 10 seconds, are there ways to influence what they think of you in a good way, given a few more moments? It’s up to you.

Wouldn’t it be nice, if after you left they said good things about you, or at least mentioned that you seemed to be different, insightful or inspirational, or maybe you made people think outside the box, if only for a moment? That’s what happens when you make an impact in public.

You’re not drawing attention to yourself, or demanding anyone’s attention but you’re giving the most you can in the few moments of exposure you have with people who may not know who you are or what you do and making a good first impression.

What Turns Them On?

Find out what excites them and ask them about it. Listen to them and ask questions. If that’s all you do, you will make an impact. If you like, you can work in a little networking if you can think of a story that relates what you do or might like to say in a way that relates to what turn them on.

Edify Others

When someone does a good job or earns some type of accolade, don’t miss an opportunity to edify them, introduce them to others or thank them publicly, honoring their efforts. If you are seen as someone who appreciates the efforts of others and takes the time to honor them and have their moment in the sun, you will be revered as an edifier or cheerleader.

Whenever you hear of someone’s good deeds, by all means, find ways to recognize them and lift them up for doing good, or helping to make the world a better place. This will have a meaningful impact on the person you’ve edified, as well as the people who will appreciate your efforts to acknowledge and honor someone’s good deed.

Tell Stories

One of the best things you do is to be a story teller. Story tellers don’t just spill out the facts all over their audience. No. They tell stories with dramatic detail that sparks the imagination of their audience. With a little practice, you too can become a story teller. Think of colorful ways you can spice up what you have to say and hone your skill of storytelling to make an impact.

Be Creative

You can learn all the skills about how to work a room, and do the best you can, but don’t be afraid to try something new, that may benefit the people you meet, yet leave a positive lasting impression. Especially if you’re sharing the space with peer who may also be trying to make an impact, you need to think about how you can still make a positive impact in a way that sets you apart from the other people who might be working the room.

 

 

 

 

Put On a Show

You’ve seen people who garner the attention of a room by putting on a show of sorts, multiplying their networking efforts by turning their interaction with one person (or a few people) into a spectacle that causes others in the room to break from the conversation and look to see what’s happening over there. While this kind of theatrics might require a certain level of self-confidence, with a little practice, you might think of ways you could turn an impromptu demonstration into a method of getting people to wonder who you are and what you are doing.

Make Things Happen

Think about accepting opportunities, or volunteering, to take an active role in putting something together, like a group function or event. If the even or function is a success, then you will be recognized as the go-getter who gets things done and makes things happen. This is excellent public relations (PR) for which you can humbly accept the praise for a job well done on the behalf of others. This will definitely make an impact and you will be remembered for your efforts.

 

Dress Appropriately

Looking good and fashion appropriate for any event can help gain the approval of others when you walk in the door while schmoozing with the folks at any event. Try not to over-dress for the event because you don’t want to appear to be snooty. And even though under-dressing might make you stand out, the effect might not be what you’re looking for, and it can make it harder for you to gain the confidence of your audience if you’re inappropriately attired.

After all, ZZ Top said it best,

Every girl’s crazy for a sharp-dressed man.

 

Who Do You Know?

Think about who you know, how have they made an impact on your life? Think about emulating the techniques used by the people whom you respect. You don’t have to parrot their persona or hypnotize yourself to act like that person. Simply note how they interact with other people and see if you ca add some of those attributes into your character.

You Are One-of-a-Kind

There’s no one else on this planet who is just like you, so celebrate your unique characteristics and maybe think of a way to let your individuality shine through without overshadowing others. People will love you if you can come across as a real person who is authentically unique and self-confident with humility and grace, always leaving a good impression and making an impact.

Part of You is Dying

You’re growing, changing, taking responsibility and charge of your life. You’re embracing love, couldn’t feel more powerful, confident, open, honest and vulnerable… then all of a sudden, you feel overcome with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, sadness, depression or unexpected fatigue.

As you search and review the areas of your life, you can’t seem to identify anything going on to make you feel this way, and you can’t understand why you feel this way.

Don’t worry, this is completely normal as you are expanding and evolving onto a better version of yourself. These unexpected challenges in your personal growth are normal as you are experiencing a vibrational detoxification.

You (your being, the person you are, all the parts of you en masse) are the result of a lifetime of programming which includes toxic thoughts, beliefs, feelings and experiences which have survived and thrived, hidden (sometimes, not so hidden) deep inside you.

As you are actively growing and expanding these deep rooted toxins are struggling for survival. They have so integrated themselves into your life and attached themselves to certain parts of your brain or body, where they have been safely stored for years. Now, they are no longer congruent as you are expanding and evolving and they are not being fed by your energetic attentions. They are shrinking and dying of starvation.

In the toxin’s struggle for survival, they will initiate thoughts and trigger the release of hormones which affect your sense of wellbeing and initiate sensations of negative emotions such as fear, paranoia, depression, or may even cause physical signs of sickness as they are dying off, in a last ditch struggle for survival.

You may find yourself suffering from headaches, even migraines, back pain or other body aches and pain and/or flu-like symptoms as manifestations of the toxin’s effort to distract and crush your hope for continued expansion.

This is a normal part of your evolutionary process, which also indicates a pending successive personal plateau in your expansive process is not far off.

It is always darkest before the dawn, and a new dawn is about to crest your horizon as the new you emerges.

When your negative emotions are running high for no apparent reason, and your’re finding it hard to stay on course, following the path to your new life, you feel as though all your energy reserves have been drained and you are finding it hard to believe you could keep going on,

Persevere

Even if you’re feeling like your decision to take this journey is for not, and you’re experiencing nagging second-thoughts about the person you’re becoming, second-guessing whether the changes you’re making are real or just fanciful imaginative exercises. This is the time to keep going, in the absence of the feelings, of feeling as though you were doing the right thing, to stay on the path of your personal evolution, in stark contrast to the person you were before. That person is dying, and you are shedding the old you, not unlike a snake sheds its skin… Only your old skin doesn’t want to go.

A part of you has become so attached to your previous version of self, casting it aside seems like a painful separation, casting off, expulsion, a death of sorts, as you are dying to self. This is the time to keep going, even if you feel like you just can’t go on, stay the course.

But how can I, when I’m just not feeling it?

Keep going anyway. If you keep doing good things, only exposing yourself to positive information, media and influences, finding ways to think food thoughts, even if you’re not feeling it; stay on track, and that part of you that is protesting and struggling for survival will die off in the battle of old you vs. new you.

After the new you has survived this victorious process of growth and change, get ready. Something so powerfully new and amazing is waiting to take its place as the newer version of you expands and grows even more.

April 2017 Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of April, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

How Do You Know When You’re in Love? Your Growing Awareness and Others Change Your Life
Big Boys Don’t Cry But They Should Truth and Integrity Flip the Switch
The World’s Best Kept Secret Are You Hiding Your Treasure?

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

Finding Peace in Chaos How to Be an Expansion Explorer Living Dead and Resurrection
The Basis of True Forgiveness Why Is Love So Hard? Spring Cleaning Your Life

Ch ch ch Changes

Defending Your Self Join the Witness Protection Program
The Trajectory of Personal Growth and Change  Is Materialism Blocking Your Efficacy?

Signs of a Bad Relationship

10 Ways to Increase Your Performance

How to Work a Room

 

How Do You Know When You’re in Love?

You’ve been seeing this person for a while and things are going well. So well, in fact, that you start to ask yourself, “Am I in love?” If you start asking the question, there’s a good chance you may be falling in love and you start looking for signs you’re in love, but how do you know when you’re in love?

Signs You’re In Love

You think more about them than you think about yourself

If you find yourself going through the day thinking or day dreaming about them and find you are projecting them into your routine when they’re not around, then you might be falling in love. When you love someone, when you’re shopping, you might wonder what he/she might link about what you’re thinking about buying. Little things, like driving by a billboard will make you wonder what he/she might think about that, or passing a cineplex and you find yourself wondering which movie he/she might enjoy seeing with you. If you are finding yourself thinking about them in these little ways (without obsessing), there’s a good chance you are in love.

You’re love lab’s chemistry kicks in

There is no doubt that love is a science project on crack. If you’re in it, the mad scientist inside you is pumping all kinds of chemicals racing through your heart, mind and body, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopresson, creating the same sense of euphoria as taking a hit of cocaine. You really are high on love. You find yourself feeling happier and more confident when you are thinking about this person and find yourself feeling even better when you’re anticipating being in their presence as your chemical sense of attachment increases.

You put up with them, gladly

He or she may not be perfect, but you love them just the same. This is a healthy balance, being able to see their quirks and find them somewhat endearing, instead of putting them down for their flaws. You don’t think they’re perfect, only that he or she is just perfect for you, with all his/her shortcomings. If certain characteristics are less desirable than others, you are able to point them out to each other in a healthy way and help each other refine yourselves as you desire to grow and become better versions of yourself. And those things that make you smile or laugh at yourselves (because they’re so cute) as both of you stumble or find yourselves in awkward situations that could have been handled better, this is more positive than ridiculing or judging your partner and demanding change.

You are growing and changing

When people fall in love, they don’t just adopt the other person’s likes/dislikes. Instead, they each desire to become better versions of themselves as they begin to look at life with the support of their loved one and you begin to change. Your daily routine(s) and habits change noticeably. You find yourself more aware of how you spend your time, and you are finding better ways to maximize the precious moments you have available and are motivated to work on your own shortcomings and developing your individual characteristics. You are more comfortable with life, and are likely to find yourself finding ways to contribute to your community and make the world a better place.

You are more apt to compromise

Not only are you considering the thought of compromise, taking the thoughts and ideals of your loved one into consideration, but you’re not self-sacrificing or falling into martyrdom as you seek to negotiate to arrive at win-win solutions, so that you both get satisfaction from the resulting agreement. Being iin love with someone means you can actually feel good about the process of compromise and arriving at a mutually beneficial conclusion and being fair in your negotiations. One person should never be making all the concessions.

You enjoy celebrating his/her wins

When your lover gets recognized for doing good, or achieves a significant goal, they are excited. You find yourself celebrating equally (or possibly even more) when they accomplish something that even you may not have been able to do so well. This is in contrast to when you see someone else honored or rewarded, which makes you feel competitive or question their worthiness. You have a sense of pride in their success and are proud of their wins, having the same feeling(s) that you might have for your own offspring. It’s as if both of you are sharing the same accolades together.

You share mutual respect

When you’re in love, you love and respect each other, which is definitely a higher calling than just enjoying someone’s company. You are outgrowing the friend zone and are interested in seeing how far this relationship can go. When you have high regard for who they are as a person, you really like them and they are clearly feeling the same way, then you know you’re falling in love.

You miss him/her when he/she is not around

If you are feeling a bit less independent, desiring to spend more time with your lover, missing them while they are away, without going off the deep-end, you might be developing a bond with this particular person. How much you long to be with someone when they are not around might be a way to measure your love for this person as you are developing a committed relationship.

You want your people to like him/her

You are concerned about how your family and friends feel about your lover. You want them to accept him/her because you want all your highly regarded important people in your life to be happy with this person, welcoming him/her to play a more integrative role in your social circle(s). If you find yourself presenting your partner in a good light to your peers and defending their integrity, you are climbing the scale of love and developing a healthy attachment that may stand the test of time.

You might feel the occasional twinge of jealousy

As your relationship with this person becomes more desirable, your particular sensitivities towards them and their continued safety and well-being will make you more inclined to entertain a bit of jealousy based on your interdependence and trust. You are not inclined to mistrust them or be suspicious of their covert activity, more so you have a concern for their well being in a world that is unpredictable because you would hate to see them suffer any inordinate challenges, or be involved in an accident. Unhealthy jealousy, based on low self esteem and insecurities marked with suspicious activities such as checking their cell phone or browser history is not considered as love so much as it is obsession. If its love, you will maintain a healthy concern based on your trust, mutual respect and love for him or her, not entertaining the green-eyed monster because they might be sneaking around or someone might steal them away.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Your Growing Awareness and Others

A new day has dawned and you’ve found yourself on an expanding journey of personal growth and a blossoming inquisitive nature you could have never imagined as you were before you embarked upon this expedition. Along the way you’ve been beckoned by the universe to become a seeker or truth, which has rocked your world. The things that you once held as infallible truth are appearing to not hold up in the light of your expanding consciousness.

You’re learning more about yourself and the world around you (and possibly even vastly beyond these perimeters) and you’re finding meaning in your position in time and space.

As you continue upon your path to somewhere else, you notice the people who were in your life have chosen not to follow their path, have decided to stay behind, and they and their influence fades away. You know it’s probably better that way, because as you are peeling back the layers of thought and programming, they’d rather not hear about it anyway. You can remember a time when you, too, felt safe and secure in the dark murk and mire of socialized belief strategies, and today, it’s difficult to imagine trying to play the game, like that, anymore.

Life as we know it begins to take on new shape and form as our preconceived ideas are challenged and either strengthened or destroyed. Our relationships and friendships are subject to this new vibration and if the destruction takes a loved one you experience the pain of separation, but life holds something so much greater ready to emerge from the ashes. Loss, change and new life are all important components of your awakening.

Your interest is piqued by travelers who have forged ahead, documenting their steps in their journals and telling their stories giving you insight to your own yet unforeseen road trip. You pay attention, but do not follow, because you are forging your own path. Your journey is not based on anyone else’s journey as you understand to truly achieve your highest and best, you must find your own way.

You are aware that society uses a variety of devices to distract you from your enlightened exploration and ensuing expansion. While unbridled access to important information can accelerate your growth, it may also prevent it, especially if you can be overwhelmed by frivolous and deceptive data. Deceptive devices of the day include cell phones, tablets, personal computers and the Internet, with more devices being introduced on a regular basis to further impede human evolution.

As your consciousness is expanding, you should be developing your intuition which will help you to interpret data and add to your overall experience as you are becoming more in tune with the inner compass of your heart, as well as enhancing the connection between our heart and mind.

Love is a huge part of my life’s purpose and most (if not all) of us have a huge longing for love. This longing to be loved, or feel akin to another, can lead us into relationships that may not be in our best interest, including groups and individuals. This can also be a distraction from continuing one’s focus on their individual journey by trying to share steps with another traveler or group of travelers. This could lead you off your path, onto someone else’s, or could lead to your own stagnation.

Though you need not be the lone wolf, you can find like-minded people on similar paths and enjoy their presence, sharing information and edifying each other’s journey along the way, while being aware that self preservation is the key, which could have outsiders confused about who you are at any given time. Why? Because the thought police will find difficulty in determining your state of awareness and mental capacity as they are being trained to keep an eye out for folks who stray from the herd. Due to where you might be amidst your own personal journey you could be diagnosed with anything spanning from depression to narcissism. This journey is a process which can have any of us anywhere along the spectrum as we continue to learn and grow in faith and intuitive heart-connected awareness.

Celebrate your uniqueness and individuality and integrate with the herd as necessary along the way, while staying keenly aware of your own progress and those who may be inhibiting your growth and your progress can lead to achieving your highest and best.

 

Change Your Life

Are you ready for a life change?

I’ve seen many people who have led lackluster lives change their lives drastically. You may be finding yourself in a position of thinking that your life would be better off by making some significant changes in your life. Are you ready to change your life?

Do you really want to change your life?

Having a high degree of motivation in changing your life can be the fuel you need to make changes which may be well outside of your comfort zone. Let’s face it, change can be scary business. Changing your life is going to be a contrast to the life you’ve come to know and find comfort in up until this point, regardless of how dysfunctional it might be. When your desire to live a new life outweighs the comfort (complacency) and safety (we have a sense of feeling safe living a life where we know what to expect, even if it’s unhealthy for us, at least it gives us a feeling of being safe at home even amidst the familiarity of the chaos) of your old life, you are ready to try something new.

Why do you want to change your life?

Changing your life is going to take you into unfamiliar territory. It is unlikely that anyone would embrace making massive changes in their life if they didn’t think change would be beneficial. Wanting to take action to change your life is the opposite of complacency or accepting your lot in life. You have a knowingness there is a better life waiting for you on the other side of change, regardless of your motivation. You may find you motivation to change powered by an epiphany, a personal breakthrough, enthusiastic love, or desire to make a significant contribution to your community or the world. Or you might find yourself motivated by loss, economic struggle, battles with family, social conditions, addictions, trouble with the authorities, or by judge’s orders. Whatever your motivation, you’re thinking life will serve you better if you could find a better way to live it.

How much change do you want to make?

The combination of why you want to make changes in your life (motivation) and how you want to change your life results in deciding what changes you actually want to make. Is it time to make Ch ch changes in areas of life, such as your demeanor, apparel, lifestyle, partnerings, friends, phone number or address? Has the time come for you to make such a drastic change so as to move far away from your old life and its location in order to turn over a completely new leaf, reinventing and exposing a new you that is in huge contrast to the old you?

What would a drastic life change look like?

Before you go making changes, it’s a good idea to have an idea of what your new life might look like, though in some cases, you may not have the chance to plan for it, because sometimes you might simply wake up one day alerted by your consciousness that your are amidst a massive change, whether you like it or not. If possible get a good idea, or clues, about what your new life will look like. After you start making changes it’s good to be looking for markers or indicators that you are on the right track which will get you to where you want to be.

Make the change

You have the awareness and you’re take action and making changes. You’re eyes have been opened and you’ve embraced a new outlook on life. You’ve taken control of your life and changed it for the better. You are moving forward, enjoying and tracking your progress as you go. From this vantage point you can look behind you and see where you’ve been, then look forward to see your trajectory of personal growth and change. The contrast between our old life and your new life is clearly impressive and you are proud of the progress you have made. It feels so good to have embraced the change and you have great confidence in, and appreciation for, the great turnaround you’ve made. You’re to be commended for making your courageous change.

How do you know your life has changed?

As you look around you, everywhere you look, everything looks so dissimilar to the life you lived in the past. Your whole world has changed. The thoughts which preoccupy your free moments are different and your internal vibration has changed, so the people who are appearing in your life also share a similar vibration. Your home looks different, if you haven’t moved altogether to a completely new location.

How long will the change last?

People witnessing your transformation are amazed at the noticeable difference. The people from your past are wondering where you are, what are you doing… and they’re wondering how long it will be until you return to your old life. Likewise, the new people who are supporting you in your new life will be hopeful that your new life will overcome any attachments that might be dragging you down, causing you to fall back into your old life. It doesn’t matter to you what they think as your self-assurance and confidence is high. Then something happens: You find yourself facing an unforeseen challenge. What will you do?

Fighting for lasting change

When you’ve decided to make significant changes in your life, invariably there will be occasions when you will find yourself amidst life’s battlefield, battling against forces that may cause you to retreat back into your old life. Though there may be forces your battling outside of yourself, your most difficult battles will be fought from within you. You will discover hidden underlying emotions bubbling up and demanding your attention, and you can try to push them back down, but the only will return with greater intensity. Lasting change will only come from overcoming your own demons though a succession of battles, which if you are victorious will solidify your new life.

Anticipate more change

Now, that you have emerged the victorious warrior, overcoming the hauntings of your old life, don’t get too comfortable with your new life because even at this stage an even better life is calling for you to live your best life which is yet to come, and you can make the world an even better place than it is today.

I wonder what lies ahead for you.

Big Boys Don’t Cry But They Should

Young boys are programmed not to show emotion as they are growing up, and this programming has been so effective that by the time they are adults, they have become rather emotionally numb and passé about things that might cause them to experience negative emotions, primarily sadness, as it signifies a lack of strength or weakness. To shed a tear is to expose your vulnerabilities, which is undignified, so we train our young men by instilling the mantra, “Big boys don’t cry.” And, for the most part, they comply.

The men in our world, at least 80 percent of them, don’t cry. They bottle up their sadness and lock it away inside to exude more strength, which is a virtue sought after by the opposing sex. This primal instinct makes men more appealing to women, who instinctively are attracted to signs of strength in a potential mate. This instinct hearkens back to a time in the early dawn of man and persisted until about a hundred years ago.

What happens when men withhold tears for years and possibly for a lifetime?

It’s no surprise that men who hide their emotions and pack them down into deep recesses of their mind are potentially walking powder kegs, that could explode at any moment, and many of them do. The explosive nature may express itself in extraordinary fits of rage, which can fuel a soldier to commit honorable acts of violence or create a domestic violence offender. To mitigate the growing pressure, these men may seek refuge in alcoholism or drug abuse to stave off pent up emotional outbursts.

Not crying comes at a great emotional cost and generally results in a shorter lifespan. Human beings who cry occasionally, live longer than their dry-eyed contemporaries.

In contrast to men, women cry more often and live longer than their male counterparts, but if they cry too much, they may find themselves at risk of being diagnosed with any of many neuroses, while women who do not cry might be considered as suffering from alexithymia.

Holding back one’s tears can be likened to willfully and slowly ingesting poison which will result in death, though abstaining from crying can be advantageous, especially in times of crisis. In emergent situations putting off the onset of tears can be hugely beneficial in crisis management and in such professions as military service and law enforcement. In these cases, an emotional release should be encouraged following the sounding of “all clear” or cessation of the crisis.

Refusing to cry and continuing to bottle up your emotions causes stress on the entire biological system and leads to a greater risk of heart disease and premature deterioration of brain function and health. Not crying will also make you more irritable and vulnerable to headaches, high blood pressure, and depression.

Crying is a good thing

The shedding of tears is an essential part of dealing with the wide variety of emotions that we all are blessed with. The ability to cry due to emotional triggers is what separates us from the other lifeforms on this planet, it is an exclusive human gift to be revered. Tears can be an important tool in processing excessive emotions and are likely to appear (if you allow them to be released) in both times of extreme emotional pain or happiness. The enormous outpouring of emotions such as love, compassion, reverent appreciation, or loss can also trigger a tearful emotional release promoting better mental and physical health and well-being.

Even though societal constraints or upbringing may make a tearful expression seem uncomfortable or awkward, nothing could be better for you psychologically and physiologically. Crying is an effective transitional response between emotional overwhelm and a sense of calm, or peace, following a good cry.

Crying allows the release of pent up emotional storages, which are harmful to us as tears release toxins in the body, leading to better health and longevity.

Maybe it’s time you let a tear or two fall, or enjoy a thorough release and let all those emotions careen down your face. It’s okay.

Big Boys Should Cry

and you are blessed if you can.

Truth and Integrity

What is integrity? What is it? How does it work and what does it mean to different people in their quest for truth?

Integrity and what it means can look very different, depending on who you are. Integrity is remaining congruent with that greater part of you while maintaining an authentic representation of your self with respect to your journey.

There are very few (possibly no) universal truths on which we as the human race can all agree. Nevertheless, you and I maintain truths that are apparent to each of us, and even these are subject to change as we grow and change. Even two people can view the same incident and report what they’ve seen very differently, based on their perspective and their own life’s experience and language patterns. Unless they have some nefarious motivation their differences are not considered untrue. Just because you’re interpretation of something is different from someone else’s does not mean either one of you, or anyone else is a liar.

It’s highly unlikely that two people could possibly write the same report word for word regarding any incident witnessed due to the fact that we are different people and we all see things differently based on who we are. Our lives, experiences and what is meaningful to us varies immensely among our population, The onus is on you to determine what is truth to you. Certainly there are people who have researched and specialized in different disciplines, but it is up to you what to adopt as truth to you at any given time, remembering that this is always subject to change due to access to new information. Therefore, what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you today.

Being true and congruent with what you currently believe while honoring the right of others to have a contrasting belief is the integrous approach to evaluating truth. You are not responsible for what another person believes. There is no need to change what they believe, as it is up to each person to make their own way and discover their own truths along their own individual journeys.

Your personal vibration and your intuitive heart-mind connection will help you to determine what truth means to you in any given moment, understanding that truth is ever-evolving, there may be moments of uncertainty during the reevaluation process. The more in tune you are with your heart’s frequency vibration, the faster the evolvement of your truth. As your personal vibration continues to raise, so will your perception of higher truths. Temper this personal growth with tolerance, allowing others to do the best they can with what they have without judgment.

An integral portion of your life’s purpose is to observe, nurture and maintain your expanding vision of truth, utilizing your heart’s connection to source to help you discern advancements and their validity to your consciousness.

As you adopt new revelations you may be compelled to share your new insights with others. By all means do so. But do not insist that anyone else see things from your perspective. Let others take what they resonate with as they plant and care for it in their garden of truth. Allow others to let your other seeds of truth which they are not ready for to fall on the ground. You never know which seeds left unattended on the surface will germinate and grow on their own.

Our world and our connection to it is changing. The archaic institutions and systems of control (including our imposed belief systems) are losing their effectiveness and validity. New, expanding and evolutionary thought is the key to the sustainability of our future. You are an active part of this evolution which is taking place at this moment.

Your contribution to help in making the world a better place is discerning your own truth as it emerges and becomes refined in your heart and mind. Being congruent to this process of revelation in integrity is imperative to your ability to contribute.

None of us holds the entirety of all the truth. Each of us maintain our own specialty and only together can we achieve a better understanding of emerging truths, and when we unite in love, together we can achieve a higher vibration and evolutionary expansion affecting the whole world.

Flip the Switch

When you find yourself amidst a bad experience, drowning in a sea of despair, sinking in helpless solitude and it seems as if all hope is lost, flip the switch.

I’m not suggesting a lackluster or empty parroting of, “look at the bright side,” that would be disrespectful. I do not disrespect your pain, I honor it. And so should you. It is in these moments that we are transformed into a higher version of ourselves. Not to sound cliché, we grow and expand through the pain, where we meet an enlightened, newer version of our self on the other side of tragedy.

A Tale of Two Vics

Vic is a forty-year-old Cancer patient, who lost his wife. She died last year of advanced liver disease which was undiagnosed until in its final stages. He confronts his son who is also reeling from the loss of his mother and encourages the reluctant youth to find joy in life and go to the prom. The proud father finances his son’s tuxedo and is happy seeing his son embracing life as he and his date go to the prom. That was the last time Vic saw his son alive, as they were killed in an auto accident. After laying to rest both his wife and his son, Vic all but left his life, as he hid inside his home, until his lifeless body was found.

Another Cancer patient also named Vic, whose wife committed suicide following his diagnosis, following his son’s death, killed by a drunk driver, found a renewed sense of purpose, answered the call and started a local crisis line, created a parent-founded limousine service for local high school students, and travels the country giving hope to those whose lives have lost any sense of reason… and his Cancer is in remission.

One Vic is the victim, the other is the victor. You choose which Vic you will be, even if you cannot find a way to resonate with such a thought when embroiled in the passion of the moment.

When you are in the eye of the storm, it is unlikely that you can see a way out, and it appears there is little hope of the storm passing.

If you are faced with life circumstances that appear to be insurmountable, this is the calling forth of the hero who lies dormant within you. This is that critical moment in time, will you fall victim to the circumstance or rise and find a way through the challenge to emerge passionately victorious, a light to others who would otherwise be lost in the darkness of the deepest moments of life’s night.

All of us face these moments. What will you do? Will you collapse in sorrow, a victim of allowing the victim’s mentality to overwhelm and engulf you until there is nothing left, or will you answer the call and emerge victorious?

All you need is a few precious moments to gain enough perspective and composure to attain enough balance to launch your process of dealing with and overcoming the challenges. You can do this. You were born to face this moment and you were given all the tools necessary to deal with every obstacle you encounter in this life.

All you need you have and it is available to you now in this moment. Do not disrespect the bad things, instead flip the switch and find that small ember and nurse it into your barn-burning celebration.

If we embrace the bad things that we encounter throughout our life’s journey, and move on through the transformative movement, we can be the lighthouse to others lost in the storms of life.

You are the lighthouse.