Difficult People and How to Handle Them

Learning to deal with difficult people is like learning a foreign language.  It’s well, shall we say, difficult? But as challenging as it is to develop fluency in conflict situations, it’s just as hard, if not harder, to learn to detach yourself emotionally from the outcome.

It helps to think about it this way: drama is a childhood phenomenon.  So whenever you are faced with hysteria, irrational thinking or out-of-control emotions, know that there is simply a child in the room – a fully-grown adult child, but a child nonetheless.

See, underneath difficult personalities there is an unhealthy, undeveloped, unsatisfied ego who is acting out. Since these egos are remnants of childhood, normal, rational thinking does not apply.  They live to ensnare you into their reality when something has happened to make them feel insecure.  But, it’s a time warp.  Do not go! If you do, you’ll end up mired in another person’s emotional environment that is rooted in the past.

Of course, not being privy to that past, you have no idea how the person is allowing his or her ego to distort the present.  All you can do is manage it from your perspective the best you can.  The key is to stay steady and not get drawn in.

Easier said than done, I know.

Chances are, if you’ve been in the workforce for any amount of time, you have crossed paths with some of these ego-laden “characters.”   Here are some things you can do to help manage the conversation and the person to whom you are trying to talk.

The Ticking Time Bombs

Think Tasmanian devil. These folks are volatile, inconsistent, and unpredictable. They fly off the handle easily and feel empowered by making others walk on eggshells. They stifle free dialogue by shutting other people down, and they kill the possibility of having productive conversations by breeding insecurity in their relationships.

  • The Tyrant rants and raves and makes no sense.
  • The Ogre is grumpy and unpleasant and snaps for no reason.
  • The Bully derives pleasure from pushing other people around.
  • The Loose Cannon is quiet and pent up but abusive when set off.

How to Deal:

Weather the storm. Remain calm no matter what.  If you ever heard a story about what to do should you find yourself face-to-face with a lion in the wilderness, you know your only chance at survival is to stare it down, eye-to-eye, and remain still until it is convinced by your lack of fear that you are not the perfect prey.

What to Say:

“Whoa, hold on,” and then don’t be afraid to ask the Ticking Time Bomb to simply stop. Request that he or she refrain from snapping, bullying, abusing, ranting, raving, etc. . .  State that you don’t do well under attack and that you would like the conversation to progress in a mutually respectful way.

Don’t make it harder than it has to be. On many occasions, I have said to people who felt the need to push me around, “Please don’t bully me. I don’t like it.” It works!

The Centers of the Universe

These people have a bad case of me, myself and I myopia. They only see themselves and have a distorted view of their own importance in the world. Communicating with them effectively is a challenge because they don’t listen, unless, of course, you are feeding their egos, which is more about them. They filter what they want to hear, taking what feeds their egos and rejecting anything that doesn’t fit into their delusion that the world revolves around them.

  • The Narcissist cannot tolerate being wrong and brings an unreasonable sense of entitlement to conversations and self-focus to relationships.
  • The Power Monger is interested in compensating for his or her own feelings of weakness and inferiority by acquiring power through status, people, and things to feel more important.
  • The Control Freak needs to control not only conversations but people, too, in order to feel good about him or herself.
  • The Intimidator wants to establish his or her superiority, often by instilling fear so that others won’t speak up.

How to Deal:

Don’t take the bait. Centers of the Universe will have you as twisted as they are in no time if you play into the game that they are playing with themselves. Stay on track and do not allow yourself to be reduced.

What to Say:

Nothing. Ignore the bravado, and don’t engage in their histrionics – just stick to the facts.

The Buzz Kills

These guys and gals are negativenegativenegative! They refuse to explore alternative possibilities or open their minds. They obstruct important dialogue from occurring because they are stuck in a world of small-mindedness.

  • The Naysayer says that everything won’t work and is not interested in anything new and/or improved.
  • The Know-It-All always has to be right and thinks he or she knows how things will turn out regardless of whether it’s true or not.
  • The Curmudgeon is ill-tempered, full of resentment, and stubborn.
  • The Ignoramus is not open to suggestions from others and is not open, period.

How to Deal:

Ask questions. Every time a Buzz Kill tries to put the kibosh on something, try to find out why he or she feels the need to choose failure over success before even trying.

What to Say:

“Why must you put a damper on everything?” Point out how their pessimism is grounded in nothing substantive and that whether they know it or not, they’re making everything harder than it has to be, including trying to have a conversation.

The Slippery Sly Ones

Watch out for this group. They are underground operators. They undermine healthy dialogue and erode trust by feigning authenticity and operating under false pretense.

  • The Dissembler conceals the facts and his or her true intentions.
  • The Skulk is evasive and shirks responsibility.
  • The Conniver schemes, lies, and cheats to get ahead, all the while making pretend to be on the same side you are on.
  • The Manipulator bends the truth, twists words, and hides his or her motives as a means to serve his or her own end.

How to Deal:

Call them out on it. You have to, because when the ego knows you see it, it has nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. By merely revealing your awareness of its presence, you will often shame that part of the Slippery Sly Ones into minding its manners.

What to Say:

“Something doesn’t add up here.” Or, you could say something like, “This does not feel kosher . . . or cool . . . or copacetic . . . or right.”  Remember, it is perfectly acceptable to tell someone what you think and how you feel.

The Suck-Ups

We’ve all known our fair share of these. It’s their insincerity that makes it so difficult to communicate with them. They’ll “yes” you to death in lieu of having a meaningful conversation.

  • The Blowhard is stuck on him or herself and full of useless self-serving jabber.
  • The Sycophant seeks favor by flattering people.
  • The Brownnoser is motivated by approval and goes out of his/her way to impress those he or she deems important.

How to Deal:

Make it clear that you would prefer not to have a conversation that consists only of agreement and accord.

What to Say:

“Please stop. . . .” Point out that they don’t need to work so hard to look good and that it is infringing on your ability to move forward with them in the conversation.

The Oblivious

This bunch is really out there. They exist in their own reality, which is unrecognizable to almost everyone else. The problem is that real issues aren’t addressed while they detract from the clarity needed for constructive conversations.

  • The Dreamer is not only not in reality, but in denial most of the time, too.
  • The Flake has trouble connecting what he or she says with what he or she does, and as a result, conversations with him/her seem as though they never happened.
  • The Drama Queen blows everything out of proportion and creates drama for attention.

How to Deal:

Have the conversation and cross your fingers that the Oblivious “get it.” Give it your best shot and document everything that is said because when it comes up again, the Obliviouswill have no idea what you’re talking about.

What to Say:

“Snap out of it.” You can ask them to try to step out of their own reality and face the facts as they are, but don’t hold your breath.  All you can do is try.

The Juveniles

These kids trapped in adult bodies are more draining than a marathon. They sap energy, waste time, and turn the workplace into a day-care center.

  • The Blamer never accepts responsibility for even the smallest, stupidest things and finds reasons to blame someone else.
  • The Whiner complains all the time about how everything but he or she is the problem.
  • The Excuser makes excuses for everything and is automatically defensive.
  • The Spoiled Brat pouts to get attention.
  • The Gossip stirs up trouble and wastes time being concerned with other people’s business.

How to Deal:

Point out specifically what is juvenile about their behavior. The best thing to do is express your amazement that such behavior exists in a professional, adult, work environment.

What to Say:

Tell them point-blank how unbecoming and inappropriate their behavior is.

The preceding is a reprint of an article featured in Psychology Today by  Author of Surviving Dreaded Conversations, Donna Flagg, who said it better than I could have. Stretch your mind and your body by visiting Donna’s site at Lastics.com

Are You a Being or a Bot In the Video Game of Life?

If we’re all living in one big video game, as Elon Musk believes, might it be helpful to know which people we interact with are “real?” (Real meaning that they are authentic beings hooked up to a machine, not unlike a virtual reality video game.) And might it be to your advantage to be able to identify those which are just computer-generated models or bots, which appear to be real, but are really “fake?” (Fake meaning there is no actual live being living the experience on the other side.)

Are You a Being or a Bot In the Video Game of Life?

The best players in the video game of life contend there are clues to whether a being with whom we interact in this virtual world (which seems very real) are connected beings or computer game simulations.

Characteristics of Real Beings

The characteristics of real beings living in this virtual reality world are different from those generated by the “system” which runs this massive simulated life experience. The people, like you and me, who are off-grid somewhere hooked up to the machinery for the experience share the following qualities:

They look out for others, possess a high degree of compassion, care more about their fellow man, and other participants in the game, such as animals, and the environment which shapes the world we live in. They want to contribute to making the game even better for other players.

In terms of influence, the real beings are less compelled to impress or seek approval from others. They’re fairly confident about who they are in this game and don’t need to be supported by others to have a sense of value for their lives. If their mission in life leads them to the stage, they do so in humility, if not reluctantly, and have no intrinsic need to be the center of attention.

Real players find comfort in quiet time, solitary moments, and relaxation to restore and recharge themselves and are humble because they really have nothing to prove.

If you’re real, you’re often found being that way. For instance, if you have a problem with someone, you can talk to that person face-to-face, express your concerns to see if you can work anything out, or make sense of something you don’t understand.

Integrity is important to the real players in the video game of life. They have a high sense of honor which has them wanting to be true to themselves and others. They will expend extra effort to keep their promises and to do the right thing, regardless of how they feel, or unforeseen circumstances. They are dependable and keep their word.

You will find real live life game players uplifting and acknowledge others for a job well done, or an enthusiastic effort, even if someone has fallen short of their intended mark. We understand everyone’s just doing the best they can (including ourselves), and applaud those why try their best.

The motivation for real beings is grounded in the greater good, so they often can be found helping and supporting others in the game of life. They desire to see and help as many other players as possible have the most success, joy, love, and living out the best game for them in this life, even if they get nothing in return for their support.

Characteristics of Game-Generated Bots

The computer/game-generated bots with whom we share the video game of life are just as real as we are, though they do not have a person connected to them, like us. They can be identified by the following characteristics:

They see themselves as being better than others (especially players hooked to the machine, like us). They lack respect for the players but tend to align themselves with sources of power to influence their standing within the game. Therefore, if you are in an influential position within the game, while you wield this power, they will feign support, alignment, friendship, love, and acceptance, to draw upon (and possibly drain) your power to improve their position in the game.

Bots are always looking for acceptance of others, seeking to validate their existence. They can be found exerting a great deal of effort to be accepted by others, and have no qualms about lying or being dishonest in their attempts to create value in their lives, essentially by “fooling” others (and themselves) into believing they are real.

Bots are anxious, unsettled, and are constantly on the lookout for ways to advance their position in the game, desirous to be in the spotlight. They will seek entertainment, excitement, and finding new ways to have access to others to extract life force and gain points in the game. In a meeting, if they are not in front of the room, or on stage, they will seek to get as close as possible or exert their superiority or excellence in some way. They find it difficult to relax but will pretend to relax with someone else, if they think it will potentially increase their position in the game.

Contrasting the humility of real players, bots find it necessary to brag and boast about their experiences, performance, achievements, possessions, or position. They believe this will attract “followers” in order to increase their value or influence.

Bots have no inclination to keep it real (because it’s not) and they have no problem talking behind others’ backs and spreading unsubstantiated rumors. Plus, they think the putting down of others, gives themselves an even greater sense of superiority.

The bots in the game of life are likely to tell you whatever you want to hear and make promises they never intend to keep. It’s hard to trust a bot due to their track record of not following through while possessing a litany of likely (or unlikely) excuses for not keeping their end of the bargain.

Bots could care less about what you’re doing but may look at recognizing or rewarding your efforts for a job well done as a way to manipulate you or persuade you to follow him or her. They are also prone to criticism or putting someone down for not doing better, especially if it makes them look or feel superior.

When a bot does something good, he or she has to announce it to the world. Since they are only motivated to advancing their position in the game, they will only do something to help someone else in the game, if it will add power or influence to their overall strategy and accumulate points. Otherwise, you’re on your own.

Non-compatibility in Relationships

What are you looking for in an authentic, loving, romantic partner?

You might be surprised to find out what you’re really looking for is the love that you feel like you didn’t receive from your (usually opposite sex) parent, and on a deeper level the love we seek is that akin to the love we felt prior to being born.

On the surface, a quick overview of your search for love and the people you align yourself with might have you thinking you’re always attracting the wrong kind or person, that people change after you get to know them better, and that you often discover that while you thought you had so much in common in the beginning, the two of you are complete opposites.

Your friends might try to console you with, “Not to worry. It’s just that your picker is broken,” reinforcing the idea that you unbeknownst to you are unconsciously selecting bad apples from the barrel.

But,

What if…?

What if everything is in divine order and the type of person you’re attracted is exactly the type of person you need in your life to complete your personal cycle of love, to heal from the love seeking you did as a child, and to evolve into a far greater lover, expanding your horizons and moving to the next level of enlightened love?

What if the people you’re attracting, who appear to be completely incompatible are actually the perfect person you need in your life to bring out the very best in you?

And if this were true, you would be the same for him or her, just as they are for you; the key to unlock your highest and best.

Emotional wounds from childhood leave you wanting the love you failed to receive in your youth in adulthood. You don’t know why you’re attracting someone similar to your parents but this is exactly what you need to make it right, heal those old wounds, to receive the love that you desire and deserve.

In this present age, we focus so much on compatibility, which is terribly convenient in exercising a relationship where the value of growth and change seems difficult or like too much work to bother with. The more alike you are, easier it is to get along, live together and appreciate each other.

It sounds like a dream come true compared to your past experiences where you’ve thought that you were with the wrong person and just could not find a way to make it work out for you or your partner, and if you could, the cost would just be too great.

True love, the love that comes from above, dwells within us but it is hidden beneath a cloud of bad feelings, let downs, and life experiences through which we could barely know it is there, if at all.

You try so hard to love in an authentic way, the way you long to be loved, but you feel unworthy, are confident that you will fall short, so you sabotage your relationship, allow it to fail, in an effort to keep yourself safe from exposing too much of yourself, as an act of self-preservation. This disengagement is a source of great anxiety within you.

Love’s connection with another person is a part of who we are. This connection one-to-another in an authentic intimate relationship is what we seek as we try to recapture the pure love we felt prior to birth. To be suddenly aware of the separation and unable to make it work, could leave one feeling as though true love is not possible.

If it is your destiny to find this evasive love, and if it is the only reason you have come here to live your life on this planet, then you might even think that life itself may not be worth living at all.

In this way, life and love are deeply embedded in us as humans. It is difficult to separate one from the other (though many of us choose to maintain this separation, ignoring the true love component our life’s work).

In human form, there is no way to manifest the original true connected love we experienced prior to birth but we can come very close if we are willing to learn and grow, leaving behind the shadows from our past and move on into the light of love.

Unless you settle for compatibility as your only criteria for selecting your life mate, you will continue to be offered the opportunity to meet the exact type of people who can assist you on this sacred journey of love and life.

Time and Memorial

Time goes on, and you love and you experience loss. It’s all a part of the grand design of this life’s experience. We attach ourselves to people who we admire or love. People who have greatly impacted our lives in ways they could never know or imagine.

These are the distant heroes of our lives. They are religious icons, celebrities, musicians, performance artists, artists, actors, business and wealth leaders, and a host of people who may be beyond arm’s length, yet they inspire us to do better, achieve more or build a fire inside us to offer something more to the world that has blessed us with this gift of life.

Then, when you least expect it, the person who has been such an inspiration to you, ends their physical journey on the very earth you may have shared with them. And you experience a sense of loss.

You may experience a great sense of loss and be affected in the most incredible way, as if you experienced the grief of the loss of a close friend or loved one, even though you may have never met this person face to face, or did not have a two-way long-term relationship. Still, you feel the pain of separation and realize that any hope of sharing an experience or creating something in the future with that person could never be.

Then, as you get older, you see your relatives and friends start to leave this physical plane, and you grieve their loss.

Then, on days, like today, we honor those who have lost their lives in military service. As honorable as this is, to volunteer for military service so that the rest of us can stay at home and enjoy the fruits of our American freedoms, is commendable, to say the least.

A few years ago, I had a son who volunteered for such a command in military service. I watched him take his vow of service, and I was as proud as a father could be. Even though he pledged to give his life in service if necessary, both he and I were certain that the odds were in his favor.

How could we have known that on the first 4th of July following his enlistment, he would be fatally wounded in a Taliban attack in Afghanistan?

We, his mother and I, talked to him on the phone the evening of July 3rd, and he was so alive… He called many friends and relatives that evening. Only a few hours later, there was the ominous knock on our door by a pair of full-dressed military officials delivering the news.

No parent should have to bury their own son or daughter, ever. In that moment, Aaron’s mother and I joined the families that lost a family while in military service as well as parents who would have to lay one of their children to rest.

It is the worst possible pain, yet even in the sacrifice of young PFC Aaron Fairbairn, he leaves behind a legacy that immortalizes his life, sacrifice and service among the many heroes who had fallen before him and those who will fall henceforth.

In our memories of all who are remembered for their deeds on earth, we honor them, celebrate their life and preserve their memory, extending the impact on our lives and the lives of others when we remember them. In this way we invite them to live in us and through us even though their days were numbered.

Sometimes, people you have loved so dearly, more dearly than you could ever dare to admit, suddenly leave, and any sense of loss that you might have may not be deemed socially acceptable. This is referred to as disenfranchised grief, and you are certainly entitled to your grief, though it may be a process of solitude, making your own way, in private, without the emotional support of family and friends.

But that’s okay. We all do the best we can with what we have.

Love, live and honor those who are no longer with us.

Celebrate their lives and add love, value, and longevity to their lives by extending in in your own.

Heal Your Life Symptoms

A

Abdominal Cramps: Fear. Stopping the process.
Abscess: Fermenting thoughts over hurts, slights and revenge.
Accidents: Inability to speak up for the self. Rebellion against authority. Belief in violence.
Aches: Longing for love. Longing to be held.
Acne: Not accepting the self. Dislike of the self.
Addictions: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love self.
Adrenal Problems: Defeatism. No longer caring for the self. Anxiety.
Alcoholism: Feeling of futility, guilt, inadequacy. Self-rejection.
Allergies: Denying your own power.
Alzheimer’s Disease: Refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and helplessness. Anger.
Amenorrhea: Not wanting to be a woman. Dislike of the self.
Anemia: “Yes-but” attitude. Lack of joy. Fear of life. Not feeling good enough.
Ankle: Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.
Anorexia: Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection.
Anxiety: Not trusting the flow and the process of life.
Apathy: Resistance to feeling. Deadening of the self. Fear.
Appetite, Excessive: Fear. Needing protection. Judging the emotions.
Arm: Represents the capacity and ability to hold the experiences of life.
Arteries: Carry the joy of life.
Arthritic Fingers: A desire to punish. Blame. Feeling victimized.
Arthritis: Feeling unloved. Criticism, resentment. – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Feeling victimized. Lack of love. Chronic bitterness. Resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Asthma: Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.
Athlete’s Foot: Frustration at not being accepted. Inability to move forward with ease.

B

Back Issues: Represents the support of life. Back Problems: – Rounded shoulders: Carrying the burdens of life. Helpless and hopeless. – Lower Back Pain: Fear of money or lack of financial support. – Mid-Back Pain: Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back!” – Upper Back Pain: Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. – Back Curvature: The inability to flow with the support of life. Fear and trying to hold on to old ideas. Not trusting life. Lack of integrity. No courage of convictions.
Bad Breath: Anger and revenge thoughts. Experiences backing up.
Balance, Loss of: Scattered thinking. Not centered.
Baldness: Fear. Tension. Trying to control everything.
Bedwetting: Fear of parent, usually the father.
Belching: Fear. Gulping life too quickly.
Bell’s Palsy: Extreme control over anger. Unwillingness to express feelings.
Bladder Problems: Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being “pissed off”.
Bleeding: Joy running out. Anger.
Blisters: Resistance. Lack of emotional protection.
Blood Pressure: – High: Longstanding emotional problem not solved. – Low: Lack of love as a child. Defeatism.
Body Odor: Fear. Dislike of the self. Fear of others.
Bones: Represent the structure of the universe. – Bone marrow: Represents deepest beliefs about the self. How you support and care for yourself. – Breaks: Rebelling against authority.
Brain: Represents the computer, the switchboard. – Tumor: Incorrect computerized beliefs. Stubborn. Refusing to change old patterns.
Breast: Represents mothering and nurturing and nourishment. – Cysts, Lumps: A refusal to nourish the self. Putting everyone else first. Over mothering. Overprotection. Overbearing attitudes.
Breath: Represents the ability to take in life. – Breathing Problems: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Getting stuck in childhood. Fear of taking in life fully. – Bronchitis: Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling.
Bruises: The little bumps in life. Self-punishment.
Bulimia: Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred.
Burns: Anger. Burning up. Incensed.
Bursitis: Repressed anger. Wanting to hit someone.

C

Calluses: Hardened concepts and ideas. Fear solidified.
Cancer: Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds.
Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.
Canker Sores: Festering words held back by the lips. Blame.
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Anger and frustration at life’s seeming injustices.
Cataracts: Inability to see ahead with joy. Dark future.
Cellulite: Stored anger and self-punishment.
Cerebral Palsy: A need to unite the family in an action of love.
Chills: Mental contraction, pulling away and in. Desire to retreat.
Cholesterol: Clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy.
Circulation: Represents the ability to feel and express the emotions in positive ways.
Colds: Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.
Colic: Mental irritation, impatience, annoyance in the surroundings.
Colitis: Insecurity. Represents the ease of letting go of that which is over.
Coma: Fear. Escaping something or someone.
Conjunctivitis: Anger and frustration at what you are looking at in life.
Constipation: Incomplete releasing. Holding on to garbage of the past. Guilt over the past. Sometimes stinginess.
Corns: Hardened areas of thought – stubborn holding on to the pain of the past.
Coughs: A desire to bark at the world. “Listen to me!”
Cramps: Tension. Fear. Gripping, holding on.
Crohn’s Disease: Fear. Worry. Not feeling good enough.
Crying: Tears are the river of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear.
Cuts: Punishment for not following your own rules.
Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.
Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”

D

Deafness: Rejection, stubbornness, isolation. What don’t you want to hear? “Don’t bother me.”
Depression: Anger you feel you do not have a right to have. Hopelessness.
Diabetes: Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.
Diarrhea: Fear. Rejection. Running off.
Dizziness: Flighty, scattered thinking. A refusal to look.
Dry eyes: Angry eyes. Refusing to see with love. Would rather die than forgive. Being spiteful.
Dysmenorrhea: Anger at the self. Hatred of the body or of women.

E

Ear: Represents the capacity to hear. – Ache: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Household arguing.
Eczema: Breath-taking antagonism. Mental eruptions.
Edema: What or who won’t you let go of?
Elbow: Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences.
Emphysema: Fear of taking in life. Not worthy of living.
Endometriosis: Insecurity, disappointment and frustration. Replacing self-love with sugar. Blamers.
Epilepsy: Sense of persecution. Rejection of life. A feeling of great struggle. Self-violence.
Epstein-Barr Virus: Pushing beyond one’s limits. Fear of not being good enough. Draining all inner support. Stress.
Eye: Represents the capacity to see clearly past, present, future. – Astigmatism: “I” trouble. Fear of really seeing the self. – Hyperopia: Fear of the present. – Myopia: Fear of the future.

F

Face: Represents what we show the world.
Fainting: Fear. Can’t cope. Blacking out.
Fat or Weight issues: Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment. – Arms: Anger at being denied love. – Belly: Anger at being denied nourishment. – Hips: Lumps of stubborn anger at the parents. – Thighs: Packed childhood anger. Often rage at the father.
Fatigue: Resistance, boredom. Lack of love for what one does.
Feet: Represent our understanding – of ourselves, of life, of others. – Foot Problems: Fear of the future and of not stepping forward in life.
Fever: Anger. Burning up.
Fibroid Tumors: Nursing a hurt from a partner. A blow to the feminine ego.
Fingers: Represent the details of life. – Thumb: Represents intellect and worry. – Index: Represents ego and fear. – Middle: Represents anger and sexuality. – Ring: Represents unions and grief. – Little: Represents the family and pretending.
Food Poisoning: Allowing others to take control. Feeling defenseless.
Frigidity: Fear. Denial of pleasure. A belief that sex is bad. Insensitive partners. Fear of father.
Fungus: Stagnating beliefs. Refusing to release the past. Letting the past rule today.

G

Gallstones: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride.
Gas: Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas.
Gastritis: Prolonged uncertainty. A feeling of doom.
Genitals: Represent the masculine and feminine principles. Worry about not being good enough.
Gland Problems: Represent holding stations. Self-staring activity. Holding yourself back.
Gout: The need to dominate. Impatience, anger.
Glaucoma: Stony unforgiveness. Pressure from longstanding hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.
Gray Hair: Stress. A belief in pressure and strain.
Growths: Nursing those old hurts. Building resentments.
Gum Problems: Inability to back up decisions. Indecisive about life.

H

Hands: Hold and handle. Clutch and grip. Grasping and letting go. Caressing. Pinching. All ways of dealing with experiences.
Hay Fever: Emotional congestion. Fear of the calendar. A belief in persecution. Guilt.
Headaches: Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear.
Heart: Represents the center of love and security. – Heart Attack: Squeezing all the joy out of the heart in favor of money or position. Feeling alone and scared. “I’m not good enough. I don’t do enough. I’ll never make it.” – Heart Problems: Longstanding emotional problems. Lack of joy. Hardening of the heart. Belief in strain and stress.
Heartburn: Fear. Fear. Fear. Clutching Fear.
Hemorrhoids: Fear of deadlines. Anger of the past. Afraid to let go. Feeling burdened.
Hepatitis: Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage.
Hernia: Ruptured relationships. Strain, burdens, incorrect creative expression.
Herpes Genitalis: Mass belief in sexual guilt and the need for punishment. Public shame. Belief in a punishing God. Rejection of the genitals.
Herpes Simplex: Bitter words left unspoken.
Hip: Carries the body in perfect balance. Major thrust in moving forward. Fear of going forward in major decisions. Nothing to move forward to.
Hives: Small, hidden fears. Mountains out of molehills.
Hodgkin’s Disease: Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no substance left to support itself. The joy of life is forgotten in the race of acceptance.
Hyperactivity: Fear. Feeling pressured and frantic.
Hyperventilation: Fear. Resisting change. Not trusting the process.
Hypoglycemia: Overwhelmed by the burdens in life.

I

Impotence: Sexual pressure, tension, guilt. Social beliefs. Spite against a previous mate. Fear of mother.
Incontinence: Emotional overflow. Years of controlling emotions.
Indigestion: Gut-level fear, dread, anxiety. Griping and grunting.
Infection: Irritation, anger, annoyance.
Inflammation: Fear. Seeing red. Inflamed thinking. Anger and frustration about conditions you are looking at in your life.
Influenza: Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.
Ingrown Toenail: Worry and guilt about your right to move forward.
Injuries: Anger at the self. Feeling guilty.
Insanity: Fleeing from the family. Escapism, withdrawal. Violent separation from life.
Insomnia: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Guilt.
Intestines: Represent assimilation and absorption.
Itching: Desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied. Remorse. Itching to get out or get away.

J

Jaundice: Internal and external prejudice. Unbalanced reason.
Jaw Problems: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

K

Kidney Problems: Criticism, disappointment, failure. Shame. Reacting like a child.
Kidney Stones: Lumps of undissolved anger.
Knee: Represents pride and ego. Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.

L

Laryngitis: So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.
Left Side of Body: Represents receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother.
Leg: Carry us forward in life.
Liver: Seat of anger and primitive emotions. Chronic complaining. Justifying fault-finding to deceive yourself. Feeling bad.
Lockjaw: Anger. A desire to control. A refusal to express feelings.
Lump in the Throat: Fear. Not trusting the process of life.
Lung: The ability to take in life. Depression. Grief. Not feeling worthy of living life fully.
Lupus: A giving up. Better to die than stand up for one’s self. Anger and punishment.
Lymph Problems: A warning that the mind needs to be recentered on the essentials of life. Love and joy.

M

Malaria: Out of balance with nature and with life.
Menopause Problems: Fear of no longer being wanted. Fear of aging. Self-rejection. Not feeling good enough.
Menstrual Problems: Rejection of one’s femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the genitals are sinful or dirty.
Migraine Headaches: Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life. Sexual fears.
Miscarriage: Fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.
Mononucleosis: Anger at not receiving love and appreciation. No longer caring for the self.
Motion Sickness: Fear. Bondage. Feeling of being trapped.
Mouth: Represents taking in of new ideas and nourishment. Set opinions. Closed mind. Incapacity to take in new ideas.
Multiple Sclerosis: Mental hardness, hard-heartedness, iron will, inflexibility.
Muscles: Resistance to new experiences. Muscles represent our ability to move in life.
Muscular Dystrophy: “It’s not worth growing up.”

N

Nails: Represent protection. – Nail Biting: Frustration. Eating away at the self. Spite of a parent.
Narcolepsy: Can’t cope. Extreme fear. Wanting to get away from it all. Not wanting to be here.
Nausea: Fear. Rejecting an idea or experience.
Neck: Represents flexibility. The ability to see what’s back there. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness, inflexibility. Unbending stubbornness.
Nephritis: Overreaction to disappointment and failure.
Nerves: Represent communication. Receptive reporters.
Nervous Breakdown: Self-centeredness. Jamming the channels of communication.
Nervousness: Fear, anxiety, struggle, rushing. Not trusting the process of life.
Neuralgia: Punishment for guilt. Anguish over communication.
Nodules: Resentment and frustration and hurt ego over career.
Nose: Represents self-recognition. – Nose Bleeds:A need for recobnition. Feeling unnoticed. Crying for love. – Runny Nose: Asking for help. Inner crying. – Stuffy Nose: Not recognizing the self-worth.
Numbness: Withholding love and consideration. Going dead mentally.

O

Osteomyelitis: Anger and frustration at the very structure of life. Feeling unsupported.
Osteoporosis: Feeling there is no support left in life. Mental pressures and tightness. Muscles can’t stretch. Loss of mental mobility.
Ovaries: Represent points of creation. Creativity.

PQ

Pain: Guilt. Guilt always seeks punishment.
Paralysis: Paralysing thoughts. Getting stuck. Terror leading to escape from a situation or person.
Pancreas: Represents the sweetness of life.
Pancreatitis: Rejection. Anger and frustration because life seems to have lost its sweetness.
Parasites: Giving power to others, letting them take over and life off of you.
Parkinson’s Disease: Fear and an intense desire to control everything and everyone.
Peptic Ulcer: Fear. A belief that you are not good enough. Anxious to please.
Phlebitis: Anger and frustration. Blaming others for the limitation and lack of joy in life.
Pimples: Small outbursts of anger.
Pituitary Gland: Represents the control center.
Pneumonia: Desperate. Tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal.
Poison Ivy: Allergy Feeling defenseless and open to attack.
Polio: Paralysing jealousy. A desire to stop someone.
Premenstrual Syndrome: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.
Prostate: Represents the masculine principle. Mental fears weaken the masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.
Psoriasis: Fear of being hurt. Deadening the senses of the self. Refusing to accept responsibility for our own feelings.

R

Rash: Irritation over delays. Immature way to get attention.
Right Side of Body: Giving out, letting go, masculine energy, men, the father.
Ringworm: Allowing others to get under your skin. Not feeling good enough or clean enough.

S

Scabies: Infected thinking. Allowing others to get under your skin.
Sciatica: Being hypocritical. Fear of money and of the future.
Scleroderma: Protecting the self from life. Not trusting yourself to be there and to take care of yourself.
Scratches: Feeling life tears at you, that life is a rip off.
Senility: Returning to the so-called safety of childhood. Demanding care and attention. A form of control of those around you. Escapism.
Shin: Represents the standards of life. Breaking down ideals.
Shingles: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and tension. Too sensitive.
Sinus Problems: Irritation to one person, someone close.
Skin: Protects our individuality. Anxiety, fear. Old, buried things. I am being threatened.
Slipped Disc: Feeling totally unsupported by life. Indecisive.
Snoring: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns.
Solar Plexus: Gut reactions. Center of our intuitive power.
Sores: Unexpressed anger that settles in.
Spleen: Obsessions. Being obsessed about things.
Sprains: Anger and resistance. Not wanting to move in a certain direction in life.
Sterility: Fear and resistance to the process of life or not needing to go through the parenting experience.
Stiffness: Rigid, stiff thinking.
Stomach: Holds nourishment. Digests ideas. Dread. Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.
Stroke: Giving up. Resistance. Rather die than change. Rejection of life.

Stuttering: Insecurity. Lack of self-expression. Not being allowed to cry.
Sty: Looking at life through angry eyes. Angry at someone.
Suicidal thoughts: See life only in black and white. Refusal to see another way out.

T

Teeth: Represent decisions. – Teeth Problems: Longstanding indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. – Root Canal: Can’t bite into anything anymore. Root beliefs being destroyed. – Impacted Wisdom Teeth: Not giving yourself mental space to create a firm foundation.
Throat: Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity. – Throat Problems: The inability to speak up for one’s self. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change. – Sore throat: Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self.
Thrush: Anger over making the wrong decisions.
Thymus Gland: Feeling attacked by life. They are out to get me.
Thyroid Gland: Humiliation. I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn. – Hyperthyroid: Rage at being left out.
Tics, Twitches: Fear. A feeling of being watched by others.
Tinnitus or Ringing in the Ears: Refusal to listen. Not hearing the inner voice. Stubbornness.
Toes: Represent the minor details of the future.
Tongue: Represents the ability to taste the pleasures of life with joy.
Tonsillitis: Fear. Repressed emotions. Stifled creativity.
Tuberculosis: Wasting away from selfishness. Possessive. Cruel thoughts. Revenge.

U

Urinary infections: Pissed off, usually at the opposite sex or a lover. Blaming others.
Uterus: Represents the home of creativity.

V

Vaginitis: Anger at a mate. Sexual guilt. Punishing the self.
Varicose Veins: Standing in a situation you hate. Discouragement. Feeling over-worked and overburdened.
Vitiligo: Feeling completely outside of things. Not belonging. Not one of the group.
Vomiting: Violent rejection of ideas. Fear of the new.

WXYZ

Warts: Little expressions of hate. Belief in ugliness. – Plantar Warts: Anger at the very basis of your understanding. Spreading frustration about the future.
Wrist: Represents movement and ease.

List of symptoms, compliments Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

August Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of August, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

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perception-interpretation-how-to-build-self-esteem-top-5-social-skills-how-do-you-feel-free-things-to-do-money-person

February Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of February, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

If you cant think of anything positive to say repeat these words I see what you meanThe Truth and Nothing but the Truth you can be or do anything you wantBe or Do Anything You Want When lightning strikes will yu be readyWhen Lightning Strikes Will You Be Ready?
When facing a desperate situation rise to the challenge change growthWhat Do You Do When Facing Difficulty? You already have everything you will ever need embrace it take actionThink You’re Not Good Enough? Who am I having an objective opinion about ones self is the first step of wisdomWho Are You?
Go with the flow life as a river raft trip personal spriritual professional businessGoing With the Flow Coaching Truth

February 2016 wrap up images