Just Go with the Big Change

Sometimes in life things happen and you find yourself amidst a major change in your life, a natural disaster, an unexpected transfer, promotion, move, change in relationship status, health-related diagnosis, being a victim of a crime, loss of property, valuables, or investments, receiving a pink slip indicating the loss of your job, or any other variety of major challenges which could rock your world; just go with the big change.

I know, if you’re hanging out with me, you’re a mover and a shaker, you’ve got an incredible amount of things going on, running a pretty tight schedule. You’re growing, expanding, influencing others, and suddenly, without notice, you, too, get surprised by some major shift which could greatly affect your life.

Your first instinct is to resist, to try to push back or to try to control as much of the change as possible as details develop and are revealed to you. Yet, a better way to manage a big change is to find ways to

Let Go and Go with the Flow

You still have a lot of life to manage while all this change is going on, you know trying to micromanage the details would overwhelm you, so instead of trying to control all the details of the change which is unfolding before you, look at this as a divine invitation to further expand your being as you learn to let go and go with the flow.

Letting go of the details can be a frightening idea, especially if you’re like me; if I’m facing a change, I’m likely to start mapping things out, creating T-charts, To Do lists, flow charts and check lists, because, “How else you gonna get things done?”

If your life has a lot of control in it, and for high functioning deal makers, life- and world-changers, there’s a good chance there is a lot of control in your life, because that how you keep faithful to your cause, mission, and get things done.

But then, as you continue to grow and expand, your highest and best in its fullest degree needs no control, not by you anyway. I know, it sounds scary. It’s like you’re piloting a Boeing 787, and your instructions from the tower are to get up and take a seat in First Class and relax while God pilots the plane to its intended destination (which may not be the destination that was charted on your scheduled flight plan).

I recently found myself amidst a major change and I decided to apply the approach of,

Let Go and Let God

Letting go of my inclination to control all the details, just find myself in a particular flow or vibration, and let things unfold in a natural fashion. Very frightening indeed.

One of the advantages of letting go of all the details was that all the other details which I manage on a regular basis, which is a part of my mission and/or ministry, were uninterrupted by what would have been an unexpected and incredibly unsettling major change.

Already a huge advantage.

But then the most amazing things started to happen…

Opportunities appeared at just the right time and place. I mean, I could have never created a plan to create these things showing up, even with all my masterful coordination and doingness. It’s like something more divine was at work and whole series’ of life changes in other people and shifts and changes in environments taking place over months and years, all culminated in an incredible revelation, as everything just fell into place.

And my only job in terms of making all the adjustments necessary to accommodate this big change was to focus only on resisting resistance.

Resist Resistance

All I had to do was to resist resistance and allow things to fall into place, and they did; in ways I could have never imagined, far beyond any way I could have created the outcome with all my combined abilities and great concerted efforts.

Admidst by letting go and going with the flow, all I had to do is to when faced with a decision was to ask myself which option had the least resistance. In other words, to ask,

What’s Easiest?

Whatever appears to be the easiest option, with the least amount of resistance, led me to a higher vibration series of events or options.

The journey, which would have otherwise been tragic, became divinely orchestrated, simply unfolding before me, as if I’d been led, blindfolded, to my highest and best outcome, with little effort and without stress.

I challenge you, when you are next challenged with an unexpected major shift or change, rather than try to manage all the details of this life event, think about initiating a bit of letting go and letting the divine to unfold naturally, to see what happens.

Sounds scary?

Yes.

Worth it?

Indeed.

Don’t Take It Personal Intentional Allowance


Don’t Take It Personally

Okay, here I am on my journey, doing my thing and expecting other people to be doing their thing as I see it. Wait-a-minute… As I see it?

That’s the thing. You can’t interpret someone else’s doingness from your perspective. Truly not possible. You have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s life, just like no one has any idea about what’s going on inside your life inside your head, or have a clue of what it takes for you to accomplish any of the things that are noticeable by others.

Unrealistic Expectations

For me, it’s all about my unrealistic expectations, the impossible standard to which I hold myself accountable, which I am seriously reviewing at present. Because I hold myself to such (ridiculously) high standards, my expectation of others is to perform likewise without any consideration for what may be happening in anyone’s life or circumstance. This attitude permeates both my personal and professional life, as I maintain unreasonable expectations for those within my inner circle as well as clients and employees.

In the real world, when you have such a degree of expectation of any specific result, you are setting the stage for catastrophe, because rarely does anything happen or come into being, without some degree of chaos. This is a fact of life. Yes, things still happen, ideas materialize and projects come to fruition, but rarely without a hitch or challenge along the way.

When you have a specific expectation based on specific criteria and the verbal (or contractual) agreements of someone else you are setting the stage for failure. Even though everything might go according to plan, in many cases it will not. Now, you can militantly demand your expectation to be manifested – or else. You can unfriend, disenfranchise, excommunicate, or fire anyone who doesn’t comply one hundred percent, but you run the risk of being considered a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies.

Intentional Allowance

It’s a much more palatable process to embrace the idea of “intentional allowance.” That is to say, instead of having a specific detailed black and white expectation, think of reframing your expectation and transforming your expectation into an intention.
Instead of saying, “Okay, the four or you are selected for this project. I expect a delineated solution to the problem proposed presented in the conference room at 2:00 p.m.” period, offer up an intentional allowance alternative, such as, “I’d like you four to (it’s my intention that the four of you) examine this specific problem, and present me with your ideas for solution at 2:00 tomorrow in the conference room.” In the first scenario, you expect the outcome and if your expectations are not met, you can simply fire the participants (or any other unreasonable punishment for noncompliance). In the second scenario, you have stated your intention to arrive at solution and allowed them to do the best they can with what they have, and the result is what it is.

I totally get the ROI (return on investment) idea of running a militaristic operation being more cost effective when results are measured on simply results based on expenditure of time and/or financial outlay. On the other hand if you embrace the idea of intentional allowance, you allow someone to comfortably shine and express their ideas, options and input utilizing their unique inner strengths and abilities by offering them a safe space to exercise and deliver their creative best, in contrast to barking a do-this-or-else command (with its associated unrealistic expectation). Plus, when you’re empowering people to shine, the results can far exceed your expectations. It may take more time/investment but the return can be far greater if you intentionally allow things to come to life.

Don’t Take It Personally

I know, if someone doesn’t keep their word, you react as if they just poured battery acid all over your new car’s paint job, smashed out all the windows in your house and boiled your daughter’s bunny, “Aargh!” And all this angst over something that just simply is.

If someone does not do what they said they will do (in the manner you expected) it’s not the end of the world. Your stuff is about you, and someone else’s stuff is about them. Honor both sides of the human experience, as if we’re all doing the best we can with what we have, because we are.

Even though you are the most important person in the world (and indeed, you are, from your perspective) you must understand that to everyone else likewise, they are the most important person in the world (from their perspective). You can either demand they respect you more than they do themselves (sacrificing all) and beat them into submission or give them the opportunity to find the best results using all their resources in the way that works best for them.

All you really have to do is to relax your expectation by applying intentional allowance and turning your expected outcome into an intention and allow the people, situations, circumstances and challenges to emerge, unfold and naturally come to fruition in as peaceful atmosphere as possible.

So, it takes a bit of effort to try to teach the old-dog part of you a new trick. The effort of altering your ideas and concepts regarding your expectations and the need to penalize any misstep (applicable not only to others, but including yourself) and intentionally allowing a general result can take some practice and time.

Stop Self Deprecating

No more beating yourself up for holding yourself to our own unrealistic expectations. Allow for your own growth in the most natural way by letting yourself expand exponentially with better results.

I’m not saying to throw it all into the wind, rather turn your goals into intentions also. Stop self deprecating (or beating yourself up) for failure. Instead, review the data and look for a better way, readjust, re-position if necessary, and keep on keeping on.

Just like anything else, think about creating your new intentional allowance as an intention. Don’t expect you to adopt this new reframe instantly without faltering. Generally intend to “get there” by practicing over time and allow yourself to do the best you can with what you have.