Unless you’re called to live the single life (as some people are), you are genetically designed and physically manifested as an individual who thrives as one-half of a romantic coupling with another. The benefits of this coupling are enhanced by joining together in the sacred bond of marriage.
Notably, there is a huge difference between the benefits of taking wedding vows for a good marriage between two people and the tragic toxicity of trying to manage a bad marriage.
In the best relationships, marriage is good medicine. There are at least 12 health benefits you can enjoy from being in a healthy love relationship with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be perfect by any means, just moderately meaningful, manageable, and positive for the most part.
On the other hand, even though you may enter a relationship with the best intentions, and pledged to be bonded for life, marriage can be very toxic, and thank God, if it is abusive or unmanageable, there is a way out.
If you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship this is a call to arms. You should look for insights within yourself, seek refuge, get out and be safe. No marriage or commitment to a relationship requires your being abused, ever. It only signifies your need to leave, learn, and move on.
For those of you who predisposed to looking for red flags in relationships, some early warning signs of relationships which could potentially go sideways on you might include keeping secrets or withholding (which is tantamount to lying).
Being dishonest, deceptive, sneaking around, and hiding things are signs of something deeper and darker which will show its hidden identity one day.
As you enter into a relationship, if you’re witnessing assertions of “this is yours” and “this is mine” attitude about a variety of things, be aware that this kind of division is counter-intuitive for genuine coupling where the focus should be on the “sharing” of most things.
While the yours-and-mine attitude is generally accepted as a healthy perspective, often supported by relationship professionals and the legal community, it fosters separateness and can be extremely problematic when fighting over what rightly belongs to whom in the process of dissolution which can be extremely traumatic and expensive.
If your mate is likely to spend time pointing out all your faults (or often accusing you of possessing his or her faults) it is highly unlikely that you will ever be good enough for this person, expect it only to get worse.
Conflict in a good relationship leads to resolution, while conflict in an unhealthy relationship demands compliance or sacrifice and often leads to chaos and abuse.
A mate who is unsupportive and selfish will not put forth the effort to put the work into making the relationship better, unless he or she is able to manipulate a relationship therapist or coach to support his or her agendas, as a method to manipulate and mold you for his or her benefit.
If you’re not the most important person in your partner’s life, his or her priorities are not in alignment with the goals of a healthy and happy relationship between two people. This is not to say that your partner should have a healthy independence and positive friends and social connections, only that you should be the most highly regarded person in their circle of influence.
A toxic partner will emphasize your missteps and hold grudges against you ad infinitum when forgiveness and creating a new normal is the order of the day in dealing with relationship shortfalls, loving through our imperfections, leading to a better healing day, moving positively into the future together.
Marriage is a celebration of the life of two people. It is a joining of two people co-creating a positive future together and upholds the sacred potential which surpasses the potential of either party without the other.
Toxic or abusive relationships indicate your need to look within to find why you might have attracted this life circumstance. Please look inside and find what lurks in the dark recesses of your soul because if you don’t, your next relationship will present you with the same problematic circumstances.
Only you have the power to stop this negative relationship cycle by doing the deep inner work and embracing all the love which resides inside of you. Only then, will you be able to move on in unconditional love, which is desperately waiting for you,