When you’ve had a particularly hard life, it can get you down. As you go through life, you can get stuck seeing life from its seedy underbelly. This view can help keep you down, but you can raise your perspective and take a stroll along the bright side of life by getting ideas about how to be a nicer person.
If your vibrational set point is set at this lower perspective, even after visiting the good things life has to offer, you are likely to return to what you’re used to, your normal setting of this lower vibration.
In this lower vibration, it’s not uncommon to feel like a lone wolf, with the inability to trust other people, and you may even start to feel more comfortable, the less people you have around you, which could lead to isolation. In this state of mind, being somewhat of a hermit might feel better than putting yourself at risk of risking the plight of integrating with others.
One of the things you could do to raise your vibration would be to become a better person. I’m not saying you’re not a good person, you’re a fantastic person just the way you are. There’s no one else on this planet who is just like you. You are amazing. But, don’t let your vibration keep you down.
How to Be a Nicer Person
You could be a nicer person by reaching out to others and being a friendlier part of the human element as a whole. You do this by connecting to others. But how can you connect to the people whom you feel isolated from?
Decide to Be a Nicer Person
Once you’ve made the decision to become a nice person, you’ve got to let go of how you look at other people. You need to stop judging them. Everyone is just another person, just like you are. They use the bathroom and put their clothes on just like you do. You must be able to wrap your head around the idea that we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.
Stop judging and stereotyping individuals by their appearance, their clothes, accessories or the car they drive. You have no idea what is going on inside that person’s life. Get used to the idea that you cannot tell a book by its cover, and stop trying to.
Let go of the idea that everyone is out to get you. No one is out to get you, unless you invite those to come and get you by psychically emitting the magnetic field of victimization by thinking thoughts, like, “everyone’s out to get me.” In that case, they will answer your call. So, stop doing that.
When you change the way you think about the people around you, the people around you change. You will see other people, those who you might have seen as potential threats, becoming nicer people as you are becoming a nicer person. When you learn to be a nicer person and follow these steps, being a nicer person is contagious.
Here are some ideas to ponder when thinking about getting closer to other people.
Do Something Nice
In our topsy-turvy fast-paced world, it’s easy to be distracted an not to pay attention to what’s going on around us in the real world, especially since more and more of us are checking our communication devices more often.
Being aware of your surroundings, you may be able to see someone whom you could bless with a random act of kindness. Like if you see someone who is height challenged (short in stature) trying to reach something on a upper shelf in a grocery store, just the simple act of reaching for the item on their behalf, can be a special small act of kindness on your part.
Nice people are often in the field of niceness and you find them doing nice things for others. Their attention to their surroundings keeps them alert for opportunities to do something nice for someone else. At the supermarket you could, grab a shopping basket and offer it to someone, allow someone to go ahead of you in the checkout line, or offer someone your parking space.
The idea is, no matter where you are, if other people are around you, there are opportunities to reach out and make someone’s day a little bit better. That’s what nice people do.
Get to Know Someone Else
It’s easy to get lost in your own world, especially if you’ve been spending a while in it alone. But getting to know someone means reaching out, inviting someone to share about themselves, then listen, like nice people do.
It’s easy to fall into picking up on other’s keywords, then interjecting stories and experiences about ourselves. When you’ve invited someone to open up, and they’ve raised the courage to open up, your interruption to interject your own experience or point of view, will shut them down. Good luck trying to get them to open up again. You will never get below the surface for a truly meaningful connection with this person.
Shut Your Trap
The best way, to connect with someone, to get to know them better, is to refrain from interrupting them telling about themselves. Let them speak about themselves. We all want to be heard, and if you’re willing to let them speak, people sincerely desire someone to listen to them (so much so, that they are willing to pay their hard-earned cash an hour for someone to listen to them).
People long to connect to other people, and they shouldn’t have to pay someone to do it. We all should be able to “be there” for each other.
So the next time someone begins to open up about themselves, do not interrupt them by talking about yourself. Just listen. You may actively listen, to prove to him or her your mind is not elsewhere by not checking your phone while they are speaking, looking them in the eyes, and repeating key points to them, confirming they have your full attention.
And when they’re done, before giving in to the urge of talking about yourself, ask them, “Is there anything more about that?”
You’ll be surprised how that simple invitation will give the person the permission and empower them to let you in even deeper. Again, resist interjecting, and when they’re done, ask them again, “Is there anything else?”
When they offer up, “No. That’s all.” Now, you can talk about yourself. If you’re asked, “What do you think about that?” Simply answer, “I understand what it must’ve been like for you.”
Be careful not to judge what they’ve just told you, or offer them advice, unless they specifically ask for input or advice.
Walk a Mile in Their Shoes
The other thing you can do, when someone is telling you their story, is to imagine what it might have been to be that person, living out their life, doing the best they can with what they have and having to deal with life’s challenges.
What might be no big deal for you, might be a huge catastrophe for someone else. Imagine what it might feel like to be in that other person’s skin at that moment. What would you feel like if you were that person, in that moment in time?
This is empathy, feeling another person’s feelings, that draws us closer and creates an emotional connection between two people in conversation.
Now that you’re connecting with others, you will find you are on your way to living a better life, possibly your best life, and now you can help make the world a better place.