The Man Who Didn’t Believe in Love

There is a story told by don Miguel Ruiz in his book, The Mastery of Love about The Man Who Didn’t Believe in Love.

don Miguel Ruiz

The tale tells of a man who didn’t believe in love. By studying the love and relationships of others, even those long who professed to have longstanding, high-quality love affairs, deduced from the data he’d collected that there was no such thing as love.

He believed that love was like a drug which most people are addicted to. Once you’ve tasted of it, you must have more of it, and you might do just about anything to get it, even compromising your core beliefs, and denying your personal needs to get your addiction satisfied.

The man who didn’t believe in love gained the attention of many others whom he persuaded to subscribe to his point of view, “love does not exist.”

Then, one day, he finds a sad woman on a park bench, and asks her why she is so sad? She tells him she doesn’t believe in love, which piques his interest. She tells her story about how she once believed in love, married, went through all the motions to sacrifice everything for love. She took care of everyone, her husband, the kids, everyone but herself.

Now that the kids have all left the next, she and her husband discovered they had nothing in common. No love. Not even friendship remained. They divorced and went their own ways because nothing remained or survived their marriage.

She was left so terribly alone, with nothing to fall back on, because of her sacrificing everything for the relationship, as she awakened to the idea that there was no such thing as love and her life was wasted on forcing herself to propagate the idea of it.

This woman and the man who didn’t believe in love became friends. Their relationship was something special. Since they never believed in love, they became the best of friends, drawing ever closer together out of mutual respect for each other. They didn’t hold unreasonable expectations for each other, allowed each other to do whatever they wanted to do, together or apart, and they began to grow closer to each other trusting each other impeccably.

One day the man is walking through the park and he quickened by the thought that maybe love does exist, only maybe it’s not what everyone thinks it is. Maybe, just maybe, the relationship which he and this woman are sharing is love. It certainly feels more authentic and true than any other representation of love.

He and the woman are now living together, so he goes home to tell her of his epiphany, and she intimates that she had the same thought, only she was reluctant to say anything because he didn’t believe in love.

Then, one day, the man is walking alone at night with his heart so filled with love, looking up into the star-filled sky, a miracle happens. The most beautiful of all the stars descended. Floating down from its home in the sky the star sets itself gently into the hand of the man, then another miracle happens. The star’s light sends a beam into the heart of the man, and the man feels more love than ever before.

With his heart so full of love, the man rushes home to tell the woman of his miraculous discovery.

He tells the woman of the story, and so filled with love, excitement, and a yearning to share his love with the woman so she, too, can share in this experience. He places his star in her hands. Overcome by the magnificence of the star, still, the woman wonders if it could really be true?

In that moment of doubt, the star slips from her hands, falls to the ground, and is shattered into a million pieces.

Now there is a man who wanders the world who doesn’t believe in love, and a lonely old woman who had a chance to have all the love which could ever be imagined, if not for one moment of doubt.

If you’re wondering who was at fault, you should pick up a copy of don Miguel Ruiz’ book, The Mastery of Love.

Disingenuous Lovers

Disingenuous lovers include those who are insensitive, having little ability to possess or share the heartfelt love that you might have, and will also include partners who approach love from completely different perspectives, these are the survivors, manipulators, and predators, among others.

With all the attempts to try to find a suitable partner who can love you in the very same way that you can love him or her, still there can exist an incompatibility in the type and style of love and loving which you share. Sometimes you discover yourself unequally yoked with a disingenuous or fake love.

Probably the most difficult part of finding a vibrationally matched lover, one that approaches the idea of love in a way that is harmonious with you, is so elusive, sometimes we just give-in, compromise, and accept what is more attainable, then work out the details later in the relationship.

The earlier in your relationship that you are able to identify the energetic love vibration which is incompatible with you, the better. Regardless of when the identification becomes aware to you, and you or your partner take the action(s) necessary to lead to the relationship’s cessation, the process of disengagement and disconnection can be quite painful for either or both parties in the relationship which has become unmanageable.

Insensitive People

Those people who are less sensitive than the rest of us, may have limited capacity for love and the feelings which are associated with love and romantic relationships. While they are able to connect to another person, their ability to connect is somewhat limited, therefore they are not easily hurt when the relationship begins to uncouple or fall apart.

Insensitive people are not bad people, even though they can easily be demonized when the relationship begins to deteriorate, and they are not as moved emotionally as the other partner might be. It’s easy to assume they don’t care, are mean, or evil, even though their motives may be absent of malice. Lacking in capacity does not make them bad people, it’s just the way they are.

This type of coupling, the sensitive with the insensitive, is not uncommon as in the courting process, these opposites are generally attracted to each other. Insensitive people can change and become more sensitive over time, but the sensitive partner cannot change them (so give up on any expectation that you might be able make him or her more sensitive, this is a solo part of the journey for the insensitive).

Survivors

Survivors are those who will do or say anything in order to survive. This was a far more popular motivator in the acquisition of love and finding a suitable mate in our not too distant past. In a time when it was difficult for a single person of low or normal means there existed a great deal of importance focused on finding someone to cohabitate with or marry to prevent homelessness or being shunned by society.

Even though in modern times we embrace the idea of being able to survive (and sometimes thrive) as adult singles, there are still those who seek out a mate to enhance their ability to enjoy the basic necessities of life.

Manipulators

Manipulators take the idea of surviving to the next level. They desire not only to survive but to benefit greatly from their matchmaking efforts. They find suitable mates based on what they can bring to the relationship which is highly sought after by the manipulative love-seeker, who may also lean toward narcissism.

They have an uncanny ability to pour on the charm to persuade the object of their affection that he or she is indeed, “the one.” The answer to all your hopes and dreams in terms of love, and we all, regardless of our station in life, desire and long to be loved, therefore may fall victim to this type of manipulation in the courting process.

Predators

Predators are those who maliciously exploit the unsuspecting tender hearts to their benefit, using romance and the promise of love to defraud or abuse their love-prey for their own satisfaction. These are most likely the predatory sociopaths and psychopaths who are just out to exploit love-seekers for whatever they can get.

With the least ability to have compassion or feelings, they are especially gifted in their skills as users and abusers. They will only leave when your supply has been exhausted and you are no further use for them, or you have identified them, insulated and separated yourself from them.

Let ’em Go

Even though it can be painful and difficult to let the disingenuous lover go, let him or her go.

If your love is not recipricated and/or not a match for you, let him go. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship without love. Set yourself free and open for love.

Not to do so, is self-abuse and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Stay Open

Not to cast a dark could on your love seeking, because there are authentic genuine lovers who are perusing the landscape of people in search of you and your unique ability to love and be loved.

Stay open and aware that there are more people whom you are incompatible with than those with whom you are compatible with to varying degree in terms of your unique love vibration.

Don’t be in a hurry or try to rush things, as he or she may not be perfectly aligned with you at the moment. Your soul mate may be looking for you while in the process of working on his or her alignment, just as you are, in this moment.

When you are both a vibrational match, you will find yourselves looking into each other’s eyes.

Love’s Prayer for You

You are the most amazing person I’ve never met. You have an incredible story of life and love that has me and others sitting on the edge of our seats, just waiting to see what’s going to happen next. If your life were a book, it would be an encompassing page-turner. If a film, we are in awe of the life you’ve lived until this moment, and we are watching, waiting, and cheering you on from the aisles, knowing that you are going to let your heroic virtues envelop you, enabling you to rise and step into the fullness of your power and purpose.

You and your story are so encouraging and enlightening. You are an inspiration to all, and we know that as you embrace all that you are, it gives us all hope that we can do the same, no matter what challenges or obstacles we might face in life. You are our hero. But,

What if you’re not feeling it?

What if you’re at one of those uncomfortable (possibly most difficult) chapters in your life? You know you’ve come to this planet with a divine purpose, message, passion, and mission. You know you are called to live a better life, your best life, and to make the world a better place, but right now, from this scene of your life, you just cannot see it. It just seems like it’s just not possible from here.

Do not fear, for love is with you; do not be dismayed, for you are love.

Know You Are Loved

You are a product of the creator of all life on this planet. Everything that is tangible in this life is held together in perfect balance by the energy of pure love. Just the fact that you are here, reading these words if proof that you are loved and that your life has tremendous value.

Feel the Loving Embrace

If you would close your eyes and see from your heart, you could see the love all around you, swirling in perfect harmony in and through all things. If you are not feeling it from within, you can just reach out and call it to you, and wrap yourself in a thick blanket of pure love energy.

You can feel its warmth and you feel safe and secure wrapped in love’s loving embrace.

No Matter What’s Happening

You can be surrounded by chaos and not feeling emotionally stable. You might be frightened, unworthy, sad, lonely, even helpless, yet you are loved. You are love. And when you’re just not feeling it, all you have to do is to close your eyes and reach out and grab it.

Buried deep within your physical heart is a love generator which emits a powerful forcefield. As long as you heart beats, you can reach out and tune in to the love all around you. You can attune your built-in love generator with the love energy which surrounds and permeates all things and recharge your love energy from the unlimited source.

You Are Love

When you turn on your love generator and connect to the vast love energy, you have the unlimited supply of flowing through your body. You become love; a powerful love machine empowered to send this love to anyone or anything which comes to mind, just by the power of your thought.

Send Love to the World

Holding a visual image of someone or something in your mind and sending love to them delivers an instantaneous surge of love to that person, place, or thing. You can do this because you are love. Try a little sending love to the world.

Love’s Prayer for You

I pray you know you are loved.

You feel the love holding you in loving embrace.

No matter what is happening in life at this moment, know you are loved.

You are love.

Share a little love with the world if only from your heart in thought.

I love you.

Amen

God bless you and yours this holiday season.

~David M Masters

Love is the Best Thing

I’ve been loving with my whole heart long as I can remember. But just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are receiving it. That wherein lies the rub.

Loving is about as private and intimate emotion you can have, and as much as you love someone, the target of your affection may not have a clue how much you loved him or her.

If you think about that most pure moment of love when you’re holding and looking into the eyes of your newborn baby. There is no more pure moment of love’s welling up inside you at that moment. But though your baby senses your love, this little guy or gal has no clue.

Get used to this idea because you’re going to see it throughout your whole life. In most cases, it starts with your parents. If they had ANY IDEA how much you loved and adored them so much… Well, they don’t have any idea.

Then there’s your first best friend… I mean, really. Of course, you restrained yourself from using the word, “love,” as an expression of how you felt, but you know, deep inside, it was love, and he or she never knew how much he/she meant to you. Never.

And we’re just getting started.

There are your teachers; not all of them, mind you, but those few that have no idea how much they meant to you, impacted or changed your life in the most meaningful ways.

Followed by more friends, mentors, leaders, co-workers, and fringe people (I mean if could include anyone in the fringe areas of your life, like a service worker, store clerk, celebrities, or other folks) who would never know how much you love them. Even pets or other fauna or flora may never know your great love for them.

Not to mention romantic partners. At least in the romantic sense, it is considered acceptable to exchange your love openly with each other. And no matter how you try, even this person, whom you give all your love and devotion to with a reasonable expectation of a little somethin-somethin’ in return, still has no clue.

Even when empowered to share your deepest feelings of love with another, it’s nearly impossible to even come close to hint to the depth of your love, for it’s all next to impossible for anyone but you to know the expansiveness if your love.

Then there are your kids.

You love them so much. Everything they do is a miracle that brings a tear to your eye (maybe streams of sobbing love and prideful admiration) from that first step and the big potty to the Mother’s Day tea and the school play to prom and graduation and everything in between. It’s a non-stop tearful love fest, and it never stops.

There is no more amazing moment than seeing your son or daughter (or someone else that you love so much, could be the next generation of grandchildren or your friend’s accolades, or their sons and daughters doing well).

They just keep doing more things that couldn’t amaze you more, or make you more proud… They get higher education, find the love of their lives, their passion and purpose in life… and then…

“Baby fingers” by mrgreen09

They experience that resonance when they look into their own (or someone else’s) newborn’s eyes and that little guy or gal looks into their eyes with such amazement as those little fingers grasp your index finger, in that moment, the whole world stops.

And they know…

There is this incredible capacity that they have in their heart. It’s always been there, but maybe they’ve been too busy to notice it. Yet, at this one point in time and space, there is a love so unsurpassed, it could not have been imagined, until now.

And it’s only just beginning…

The Top 40 Reasons Love Does Not Exist

Many people don’t believe in love and believe that love doesn’t exist.

Prior to attending our Awakening to True Love Workshop, here are the top 40 reasons love does not exist:

1. If you fall in love with someone it is only based on your perception of that person at the time. It is unrealistic to think they could be like that in real life. When you find out, the love you had fades away.

2. Love is lust’s wanting to own and control someone else for regular source of sex supply.

3. Being in love is the same chemical reaction in humans as eating a volume of chocolate.

4. Love is a repackaging of a system that justifies manipulation and control to get what you want from someone else.

5. Love victimizes the person in a relationship that is weaker.

6. Love is an excuse used to encourage someone to play the martyr in the name of love.

7. People are selfish, so they use love to get what they need.

8. People who are in long-term relationships only survive because one of them gives up and gives in to make it last.

9. Love brings nothing but pain and disappointment.

10. Love can bring happiness but only for a while, then it fades and disappears altogether.

11. If you deeply love someone else, they will disrespect you and always be looking for someone else to make them feel good, no matter how hard you try.

12. If people could commit and keep their word, love could be possible, because they cannot, it is not.

13. My parents said they loved each other, got married, had us, were never happy and are divorced. There is no such thing as love.

14. Scientists have proven there is no such thing as love. It is a chemical reaction in the brain associated with the hormone called Oxytocin.

15. Since there is no concrete definition of love, what it is, what it means, two different people could not plausibly share the so called, “love.”

16. The feeling of love may last for a moment, but not for long, then it’s time to move on to the next one.

17. Long-lasting love isn’t anything more than a fairy tale told by fantasizing mothers to their daughters.

18. One’s ability to love changes with their moods, so there is no such thing as true love. You love when you feel good, not so much when you’re not feeling good.

19. Love requires trust. Since you cannot ever really trust anyone else, you can’t have love.

20. Look at the rate of divorce, it tells you love is not real.

21. People who are married for a long time fake it to make it.

22. I won’t ever love somebody, because I am honest. No one can love an honest person. If you want love, you must be a liar.

23. Back in the day they came up with the idea of love an marriage as a way to survive on the farm. Now, we know better.

24. If anyone could have loved me, I would believe. Since no one could do it, I don’t believe in it.

25. I believe I can love someone but cannot believe anyone can love me, like I can love them, so there is no love it if it is one-sided.

26. If you fall in love with someone, get ready to have your heart broken, lose everything and never believe in love again.

27. Being in love with someone is foolish and dangerous. Only an idiot would fall in love, and I’ve been an idiot more than once. Not doing it again.

28. Love is an outdated dream, that cannot be realized in modern times.

29. Men do not have a capacity or capability to love, so cross-sexual love is not possible.

30. The idea of love is inside your head and cannot be realized in real life. Love is an illusion.

31. You can love everyone, or no one, but you will never find “the one” you can love forever. That is ridiculous.

32. Love is not love, it is an addiction. You can’t help looking for love because you’re addicted to it, and you will never find enough of it to satisfy once an for all.

33. People fall in love with things that fade with the time and end up being in love with what doesn’t exist (or may have existed earlier).

34. If you’re saving your love for the perfect person, forget it no one is perfect.

35. Why does everyone even talk about love? It’s just a word you say, when you want to get laid.

36. Love implies commitment. No one can commit to anything in our disposable society today.

37. In humans, love is polyamorous. To expect monogamy from a species designed to enjoy multiple partners is just wrong.

38. True love is really only lust that morphs into friendship and may be survivable in the long run, if you’re willing to lower your expectations.

39. Love is a government imposed scam to create more taxpayers and consumers.

40. There is no such thing as love. If true love were possible, you wouldn’t be asking me that question, would you?

Why do you think love doesn’t exist?