Rejecting Love

Some people just have no capacity for love. It’s not that they have no love in them because every one of us comes pre-filled with unlimited love, yet still, there are those who cannot accept love or even receive love because they have, to varying degrees, limited their inner love center or shut it down completely.

You recognize these people building virtual walls around themselves to keep people from getting in. They are highly guarded, defensive about love, keepers of secrets, and avoid connection through social interaction. Even a simple compliment is quickly discounted by these otherwise well-meaning people, who may be quick to respond aggressively or in anger as they reject the idea of being complimented.

At one moment, he or she can seem perfectly normal and suddenly they transform into someone else in a sort of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde safety maneuver.

Our earliest experiences in life often dictate how you will respond to love throughout your life. It is highly likely that a person who rejects love did not grow up around a healthy love model in his or her young life.

In their tender, early years, those who reject love probably equated love with disappointment, rejection, and a barrage of other negative feelings which causes emotional pain and trauma triggered by even the thought of being vulnerable enough to give or receive love.

That’s why someone who has childhood trauma associated with love might react negatively or with hostility when approached with the idea of being loved as he or she sees love as a threat and may feel those same emotions tied to their unconscious childhood memories welling up inside them causing them to defensively reject an otherwise innocent loving gesture.

Those who are closest to them may find themselves being rejected, blamed for the way they are feeling or expressing themselves, accused of some imposed offense, or potential victims of abusive behavior when all they did was to offer caring love and support.

If you are one of those unfortunate recipients of an emotional upheaval, be aware that it has nothing to do with you. Only someone who is in a lot of suppressed emotional pain would respond to your love and affection that way.

Often these people are reacting to their life-long attempts to bury their negative feelings from childhood of loneliness, neglect, fear of abandonment, or abuse.

Their survival instinct kicks in as they subconsciously try to keep themselves from being hurt again, like they were in their youth, when someone they depended on, loved and trusted made them feel safe, loved and protected, only to found out that the people they love will let them down, betray, or hurt them.

There is also a conscious disconnect if someone feels as though they are unlovable, unworthy of being loved, or associates pain with love when someone else extends love to them. It’s like a short circuit happens in their brain, which challenges everything they “know” about life and their place in our society.

This feeling that being a victim of all the negative things which could happen when he or she is loved is triggered and this type of victimhood is very difficult to break-through.

A sense of mortality can present a problem with accepting love if they are obsessed with the idea of impending death. This can be triggered early in life when a loved one or a pet that was deeply loved suddenly dies. It could also happen later in life when an adult loses a loved-one unexpectedly.

These are the people who enter into a contract with their being to never love again so as to avoid the painful loss. They feel better about keeping close relationships at arm’s length or seeking a secluded life in isolation.

There are many other reasons which might find you face-to-face with someone who avoids or rejects love. In any case, those who are able to move on beyond their inclination to reject love are able to make a break-through by working with a coach, consultant, or counselor who can help them deal with the issues which threaten their ability to love and be loved.

And just as effectively, a love rejector can find their way by working through these issues and meet their inner child all on their own.

Even so, most importantly, when someone acts as though they are rejecting your love, know it is not about you, even if they blame you for their reaction. It is your responsibility to be compassionate and love them no matter what.

Do not try to fix them. Do not accuse them of being wrong or broken because they are not.

The object of your affection is only doing the best that he or she can with what they have.

Find new ways to love and support them which do not trigger his or her defense systems and love them unconditionally, if you dare.

God willing, one day he or she will awaken to true love and find a better way to love and be loved.

Love is all there is, everything else is an illusion.

Top 30 Minds Silenced

Kids who are different, kids who are “bad,” may be the most special kids of all, the hope for a brilliant future, if we could only let them flourish and grow into the potentially most amazing minds contributing to a wildly better world.

Some of the most amazing minds in history were rebellious or abused children, or kids who would have been labeled with certain “disabilities” in our modern day, and medicated into compliance, institutionalized, or potentially never survived long enough to make their contribution.

What is the price humanity is paying for attempting to control the quality of our children, so that they are easier to manage, control, more similar, or “normal?”

We put those unruly little curmudgeons into special classes, schools to train them to be more controllable, keep them in fear of persecution or prosecution for being “different”, develop new ways to subsidize their submitting themselves to veritable “invisibility”, or institutionalize them for noncompliance.

Drugging our children to turn them into compliant zombies does lighten the load on teachers and educational administrations, but at what cost?

What if we rolled back the clock and imposed this method or forsaking the uniquely individual child for the ease of managing larger numbers of compliant children en masse?

Then we would have missed out on the benefits we all enjoy due to the new ideas and thoughts that were bestowed upon us by the most amazing minds in our history.

For instance, take a look at these 30 minds, which would have been dumbed-down, drugged-out, or otherwise silenced by today’s standards:

Top 30 Minds Silenced

1. Alexander the Great
2. Hans Christian Andersen
3. Aristotle
4. Beethoven
5. Alexander Graham Bell
6. Andrew Carnegie
7. Lewis Carroll
8. Winston Churchill
9. Leonard Da Vinci
10. Charles Darwin
11. Emily Dickinson
12. Walt Disney
13. Thomas Edison
14. Albert Einstein
15. Henry Ford
16. Galileo
17. Vincent van Gogh
18. George Frederick Handel
19. Thomas Jefferson
20. John F. Kennedy
21. Abraham Lincoln
22. Michelangelo
23. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
24. Sir Isaac Newton
25. Norman Rockwell
26. Anna Eleanor Roosevelt
27. Nikola Tesla
28. George Washington
29. Orville and Wilbur Wright
30. Woodrow Wilson

To live in a world without the influence of just these 30, of some of the greatest minds of our time, would hardly be conceivable. Yet, minds, just like these, are being silenced every day as we medicate and segregate our children by modern methodologies.

The world we live in, today, is vastly different than the world we lived in, in the past. In many ways, this strange new world has presented us with unimaginable possibilities, especially when compared to the world where these 30 minds lived their lives.

While it is different and more advanced, what have we sacrificed for the benefit of those social engineers tasked with the management of the human race?

Do you feel like you are a more independent thinker?

And if you to think that you are an independent thinker, do you think that someone “out there” may have convinced you of those thoughts which you think are your own?

May those thought have been carefully placed there to more easily manage you?

Are we all just mice racing through a craftily constructed maze?

Might we be perpetuating this madness by imposing behavioral restrictions and segmentation of our children?

Are our rebellious children, or the ones who don’t fit in with their peers, potential geniuses?

I believe that even the most awkward of our children, the ones that face the greatest challenges, those who are diagnosed as, “disabled,” hold within their hearts and minds the keys to a greater world. A world so great, that there are others who may be afraid of it’s unfurling before us.

I live in this world, and in many ways, I play along… but I know that something grander lies just over the horizon, and a new day is dawning.

Just for Kids

If you’re a kid, and someone is trying to make you be something you know in your heart of hearts that you know you are not. Think about finding someone to talk to, who might be able to help you. Do not let anyone tell you that you are anything less than perfection, because the truth is: God doesn’t make junk.

You were made to be different, not just another face in the crowd. If you don’t fit in, great! That means you’re on the right path. You are special.

You are perfect, just the way you are. Maybe not perfect for the situation you are in, right now, but you, yourself are the perfect you. The most perfect that you could be at every moment of every day.

Will you make mistakes? Yes. Will you face challenges that sometimes feel like it’s just too much for you to handle? Yes. We all do. And we just keep on going. Just do the best you can with what you have. It’s all anyone of us can do.

Every step you take makes you better, stronger, more prepared for your bright future.

Don’t lose sight of who you really are. One day, when the time is right, your light will shine.

You are amazing. We are so blessed that you are here, and we can’t wait for all the great things you have (or will have) to share with us.

We love you, no matter what.