Your Relationship is in Trouble What Can You Do?

It’s not uncommon for a couple to run into problems in a relationship because you really are two different people trying to live as a unified pair and it’s nearly impossible to pull that off without some inconsistency, suspicion, or misstep, for, after all, this is life, and very rarely are we able to move through life without challenge.

Challenges arrive in life to give us opportunities for growth. Without growth, we become mediocre and stagnant. While that may work for some who find survival and barely getting by as acceptable, you find yourself wanting more.

A little conflict opens opportunities for inviting something more into your life, and great conflict, even more.

Of course, no one is blaming you, but to respect your partner and the relationship you share will go a long way toward a bright future you can powerfully share together without allowing the fire of your shared flame to go out.

If your relationship is in trouble, what can you do?

Establish trust. When relationships get rocky, it normally is d to a deterioration of trust. Whether there has been an actual betrayal or not, one or both of the parties in this relationship is experiencing a lack of trust.

To build or rebuild trust, just try to be normal, reestablishing routine. You still want to allow room to grow and change but if you’re changing it up too much, too often, you may find your partner responding to red flags which do not actually exist, raising unfounded suspicions.

Try sticking to a predictable schedule so that your partner knows what to expect. This will make him or her feel more secure, but still, allow a little space for informed spontaneity. Switch it up a little bit every once and a while, just to breathe new life with a little unexpected joy into your relationship.

When you’re feeling awkward in your relationship, be open and honest about it. Otherwise, it will look like you’re covering something up (and you are, your feeling awkward, for whatever reason), and your uneasiness will be infectious. When your partner is left in the dark, it allows his or her imagination to go to some dark places. Be honest open, and invite the light of life to illuminate who you really are, including your quirks and inconsistencies, and don’t be afraid to share and ask, “What are your thoughts on this?”

Be congruent. Make sure you and how you present yourself is in alignment with what you really mean. Often, we find ourselves just going with the flow to avoid any potential conflict, but if your partner starts to pick up on your mixed energies, these could be misinterpreted as potential problem areas.

Being open and honest about who you are (I mean the real person you are beneath all your persona and façade) engenders trust. Being uniquely you, naked, afraid, needy, expressive, overreactive, and vulnerable is the biggest power move you can make in taking your relationship to the next level. Be you, and share all of you with your partner. When you’re holding back, you throttle your relationship’s potential.

We all bring stuff into a relationship, our inconsistencies, insecurities, trauma, and emotional wounds from our past, and some of us have better communication skills than others. This is not a competition, but a cooperation. If you find yourself in a situation where you have tried to express yourself and it was received incorrectly don’t panic or get defensive. Just try to be understanding and willing to restate what you were trying to say in a way that might be better interpreted by your partner.

If you are keeping secrets from your partner, you can expect trust to erode. I know, there are a million reasons to justify keeping secrets from your partner, just be aware that this energy will affect the relationship, and your partner will be aware that something is not right, even if you’ve been so careful to cover it up that he or she will not be able to figure out what’s really going on. You might be able to sustain a relationship long term while keeping secrets which are never disclosed but be aware that such a relationship will never achieve its highest potential.

As you move through life together, times change, you change, your expectations, needs, and desires change. Be open and loving about what you need, want, or expect.

Sometimes, you might feel like if there’s something that you want from your partner, you think that giving it to your partner will make him or her want to give it back to you. If you aren’t open about your intention and just expecting your partner to “get it,” don’t be surprised when he or she just thinks you’re being weird.

Be willing to put yourself “out there” enough to say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’d feel better about where we are and where we’re going if I could have a little more,” (fill in the blank). Of course, your partner might respond with, “Oh yeah, well I could use a little more…” No problem. This is an opportunity to get it out on the table and negotiate. Maybe there’s a way you can both get what you want.

Decline with dignity. If you find yourself giving in to things that do not resonate with you, start saying, “no,” to the things which do not serve you or do not make your heart sing. Keeping in mind also that it can be exciting to share something new, outside of your wheelhouse, just to mix things up.

If your partner is going through a self-destructive phase, you are under no obligation to participate. If you’ve come to the point that you cannot tolerate it, and you refuse to go down with your partner’s boat, there is no crime in getting off the boat. Just as long as you are open about removing yourself from the situation, which may include the relationship altogether. Then, be willing to walk away with your dignity intact.

When Someone Kicks You Out of Their Life

You were friends connected at a deeper level than other beings. You intrinsically shared the same vibration and trusted each other with your innermost thoughts, guarded feelings, and hidden desires. When someone kicks you out of their life, it leaves an indelible mark, a bruise on your heart, leaving you feeling as though you’ve been betrayed by your most trusted friend.

At some level, you may feel guilt from trusting too much or making such a big deal out of a relationship because intimate relationships, like this, are not protected by contract law, like a marital relationship. No, we have these intimate relationships with other people with no safety net, no way to execute retribution, to make them pay for their betrayal. No, when someone kicks you out of their life, they simply disappear, and you know they are gone.

If you have a pattern of fear of abandonment recurring in your life, the separation hurts you even more, and you feel even more guilty because you thought you were above that by now. Still the pain hits you in the chest and you fall to the floor (even if only metaphorically) as your heart aches. You are left feeling abandoned and betrayed by your friend.

To complicate things even more, you may be in a professional or social environment where you will be in the presence of the person who kicked you out of their life, the see them living their life with you clearly excluded from meaningful participation in it, as the hurt surges to the deepest part of you.

Losing a close friend can lead to grief which is followed by the 7 phases of grief. The loss of a friend who has kicked you out of their life is not unlike losing a loved one who has taken him or her self out of your life by dying, or even more accurate if they’ve intentionally committed suicide. Even though they are still alive, the loss is just as meaningful, and the grief process is a necessary process if you’re to have hope of getting your life back.

A normal person will use his or her imagination to try to figure out what is going on here, why would someone kick you out of their life? There is little or no value in second-guessing or imagining what could have been the cause of the separation or betrayal. This can be a self-destructive and potentially obsessive negative train of thought, which causes your immune system to steadily deteriorate not only while you engage in the thought process, but for eight hours after you’ve let go of the thoughts.

The sooner you can get to thoughts of genuine goodness and love the more faithful and true you will be to yourself, and when you use the power of your imagination to take you to places where love resides, you transport yourself to the vibrational state of love, no matter where you are, or what’s going on around you. In contrast to the effects of negative thought on your immune system, while you are in the frequency if love, your immune system is boosted, and the increase of your physiological fortitude continues for eight hours.

So, the best thing you can do is to remember the good times, remember them. And if they were really amazingly incredible, use your imagination to relive those moments, to love and cherish them, fully immersing yourself in the full emotion of it, and resist the temptation to devolve into haunting thoughts of betrayal or disapproval.

Feel gratitude for sharing those incredible moments with another person. If they are no longer fully participating in your life in the now, have gratitude for the tender moments you were blessed to share.

Finding new ways to raise your vibration to love and above, cherishing and celebrating your life in new ways, making and finding new friends, and loving life with everything you’ve got serves you best. And when someone kicks you out of their life, let them go. Their life might have been far greater with you in it, but they chose otherwise, and you will love-on regardless.

Love-on, my friend, love on.

Complexity in Romance

As you’re growing, changing, expanding, and evolving you may notice complexity in romance as your romantic relationships begin to don a new look and feel. As you are becoming more empowered and are filling your desire for love from within, your attention shifts because you no longer are as needy as you were before. You no longer seek love from outside yourself. Instead, you let your limitless love which wells up within you to overflow to others, which leads to complexity in romance due to your spiritual growth.

When you are looking for your soul mate or romantic interest, often you are in search of characteristics which would compliment your own, and – more importantly – you are likely to be looking for support for areas in your life which are lacking.

As you grow and change, you become more confident as the things which may have made you feel as though you needed support from someone else begin to resolve themselves. The areas of your life where you felt inadequacies are no longer threatening to you as your personal growth affects all areas of your life including emotional, physical, spiritual and financial.

If you were lacking in some of these key areas of life when you were looking for a suitable mate, it is likely you sought someone who could assist you in these areas. As you evolve into the higher version of yourself, you no longer seek fulfillment of these areas of life from your partner.

Does that mean love fades?

No. The love that you share with your partner could exponentially grow uninhibited by your need to seek fulfillment in him or her if you are headed in the same direction. On the other hand, it could lead to complexity in romance, as one of you grows and expands, the other one might not, or you could begin to grow in completely different ways, leading lives on diverging paths.

Romantic relationships are a key component in the process of growth. For instance, things are rarely conflict-free in a relationship between two people. When the opportunity for conflict presents itself, it is often an indicator of some inner work that needs to be addressed within yourself, even though it may feel as though your partner is wrong, or attacking you.

Once you start addressing romantic complexities in this way your growth and evolution accelerates as you are constantly finding your heart, body, mind, and soul in a perpetual state of metamorphosis. Instead of looking at ways to mitigate the damages, you are healing those overwhelming and/or delicately intimate areas of your life.

In this way, romantic partners provide us with a mirror which reflects to our consciousness those areas which need to be addressed further expanding your continued growth and evolution. There could come a time when your continued growth may not be impacted by this person anymore. If you are still in need of further inner growth, you may attract someone else in your life to work out your other life issues.

Ever notice how you (or someone else) might be attracting the same kind of person into your life over and over again? This is a clear indication that you have unresolved issues that you have not processed internally, yet. Until you have done so, you will always attract the type of person who will present these issues to you as if they were on a silver platter.

“It’s not me. It’s them!”

Sure, it looks like they’re at fault, but this is a bold indication that there is work in you centered around this area of life that needs to be addressed and dealt with until you can move to a higher vibrtational relationship.

Once this relationship has served its purpose, the romantic interest will fade, leaving you feeling more like pleasant roommates or brother and sister. If anger and resentment persists, this chapter has not reached its conclusion. Separation may be bitter and painful, and (sorry to say) more of the same is already on its way.

When you have healed and evolved to a certain degree of healthy advancement, only them can you truly exercise your free will when attracting and selecting a mate, otherwise, your seeking will be powered by lack and need for growth.

At some point you will begin to understand that relationships don’t happen to you, they are manifested from that deepest part of you which seeks to encourage your personal growth and expansion. You are never a victim, always the student.

You will never again cry out the question,

“Why is this happening to me?”

Because you will know you attracted this complexity in romance for your greatest good. When you find the lesson, apply the understanding, heal and grow through to the next level, you are genuinely grateful for the experience and are able to continue, no longer having to suffer the angst of that issue forthwith.

You are Healing Love

There is no one to blame for feeling as though you are in conflict, disrespected, or abused when complexity in romance arises. Once you understand the truth, you welcome these feelings as indicators of areas of life which need to be addressed before you can move on, and it’s all on you. You are the healing lover.

It’s then that you realize that everything is connected. Everything happens at the right time and everything is perfectly perfect. Now, you can sit back, relax, love and enjoy the show.

Want to learn more? Consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop.