You Can’t Do It Wrong

Looking back, second-guessing your decisions, regretting putting yourself in the place you’re in, making decisions based on fear, being too fearful to take action because of what’s happened in the past, feeling like you’ve made mistakes, but you can’t do it wrong.

You couldn’t do it wrong if you tried to. Sure, there is that fanciful part of you that thinks things would have worked out differently only if (fill in the blank with something you think didn’t turn out the way you intended or liked).

This plays out big-time in relationships. You desire love, the kind of love and affection you’re willing to give someone else. You find a suitable mate. Then you start second-guessing, “Is this the right one?” And start the onslaught of questions, like, “What if someone better comes along?” What if this person is not as they appear?

And if you’ve been through a few relationships, you may have been deeply embroiled in a relationship when something better did come along, and you were ill-equipped to take advantage of the opportunity. You may have thought of this as a failure, regretted your initial decision, or with a bit of self-deprecation, accused yourself of settling for less out of fear that something better might not come to you. When it does, you beat yourself up for making a hasty or wrong decision.

You can’t do it wrong

You get the chance to buy a marvelous home because you feel like it’s the right place, the right time, you have the wherewithal to do the financing, fear that a better time or opportunity might not come, so you strike when the iron is hot, then regret making a 30-year commitment when your heart was not in it. The regret makes you feel as though you’re imprisoned in your own home.

What if you can’t do it wrong?

What if you take a job when you feel like you could have waited it out a little longer for a better job, with better opportunities, and benefits? You might feel like you panicked, made a decision to take the job you have now out of fear, which has prevented you from being in the right place or right time to take advantage of something far better?

You didn’t do it wrong.

“But,” you say, “I know I did it wrong, and I would do it differently if given the chance.” You’re so close. All you have to do is leave off the I-know-I-did-it-wrong part. What came after proves this was part of the learning process. And you learned. There is probably no better way you could have learned that lesson. You won!

Fear of the unknown may keep you from making a decision or taking action, and guess what? It’s okay because,

You can’t do it wrong.

No matter what you do, or don’t do, it is perfect for you and your life.

Do we make mistakes?

No, not really. Every experience you encounter on this path of life is for your highest and best if you can extract the lesson, learn from it, and keep growing and expanding.

The key is to slow down and settle into your life, learning to let your heart guide the way. You have a built-in sacred guidance system, and all you need to do is to relax and trust your heart. It doesn’t mean you will never experience hardship.

It is the difficult times in life that empower you to grow and thrive in ways you could have never imagined because all the best things in life are waiting for you just beyond your comfort zone.

The alternative is to not relax, to allow yourself to give in to anxiety and struggle between the making of two this-or-that decisions. This struggle is fueled by fear, not love.

There is no judgment if this is the place you are at in your life, but how amazing it is, if you’re at the place to move into a new love-inspired place in your decision-making consciousness?

No more will you have to worry about making decisions, or fretting over decisions you’ve made in the past, for now, you are understanding that all things are in divine order, and,

You can’t do it wrong.

 

Make a T Chart

A great method for determining what is in your best interest, using a T chart is an easy way to logically evaluate the weighing of pros and cons in any situation when making a decision and taking any particular resulting action may have far reaching results and/or consequences.

I use this method with my clients as well as in my personal life. It’s a good way to keep your linear wits about you when your heart and/or feelings may not be reporting proper resonance in the particular moment in time (which is one of my personal weaknesses).

Using a T chart is easy and can make all the difference both in the short run and the long run.

The only tools you need to use a T chart is a piece of paper and a writing instrument for weighing out the pros and cons of any situation, challenge or obstacle that you face.

On your piece of paper, simply draw one line across the top and a vertical line down the middle forming a T. On one side of the page list all the positives and on the other side the negatives. This can be immensely valuable when considering any upcoming action or decision that you might be facing.

Let’s say you’re offered a good job with benefits in another city and state requiring relocation. You proceed by drawing your T and writing “My New Job” at the top. On the left list the positives, on the right the negatives (or switch up left and right, whatever feels best to you). By reviewing your resulting lists, side-by-side, you are able to see which way you should lean in your decision-making process.

You could apply this method to anything such as

  • What would be the best kind of pet for me?
  • Where should I plan my next vacation?
  • Who should I spend my time with?
  • Where should I live?
  • What occupation is best for me?
  • How should I invest my money?
  • What should I do when facing a challenge?
  • How should I handle distractions?

The T chart is not the end-all-be-all in decision-making, it is only a tool used to evaluate and weigh the pros and cons in any given circumstance. It can also be used in other ways.

I used this method to create my Soul Mate List, where I utilized a T chart to review previous relationships.

The first list was a T chart consisting of all the things I didn’t like about my past romantic relationships, which I listed on the left-hand column. Then on the other side, opposite the negative items, I re-framed the negative into a positive attribute. For instance, if in the left-hand column it said, “Can’t be trusted,” opposite the negative statement, I would notate the positive virtue on the other side, like, “Can always be trusted.”

Using a T chart in this way helped me to re-frame and focus on the attributes I sincerely desired, not the negative ones which would only bring me more of the same.

Saying Yes to your highest and best

I say yes to my highest and best inclusive law of attraction exclusive decision making
When one is on the path to achieving their highest and best, often the progress that is made is commensurate to the method used in reference to your yes and no responses.

Basically, there are two kinds of yes, in terms to how you respond to opportunities that present themselves at any given time. Likewise there are two ways to use the word no. Any time you say yes to something the decision is inclusive, that is to say that what you said yes to will be added or included in your life, while no is exclusive of excludes certain things from being present in your life.

I know some of you are saying, “You left out ‘maybe’.” Maybe is a decision to delay decision-making until later (which can be a smooth sleight-of-hand gesture, effectively allowing you to initiate a clearly negative response until a more convenient time). Nonetheless, “maybe,” is not a decision, it is a delay tactic, and may be warranted in the event more information is needed to make a more educated decision.

This expresses the importance of holding in your mind a clear idea of what exactly is your highest and best. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Where are you and where do you want to be? The law of attraction is the energy that closes the gap between what you want and where you are, it can also move you further away. Effectively managing your affirmative and negative responses can move you toward making your dreams come true expediently.

Any time you face a choice (we face hundreds, if not thousands, of choices every day) having a clear picture of what you want and where you want to be can be of the most importance, especially in decision-making. This is why we spend time clearly defining what you want, possibly utilizing T charts, early on in a coaching relationship.

Saying Yes to My Highest and Best

Given your options, you can make decisions based on your vision. It’s as easy as saying, “Yes,” to those things that move you closer to your ultimate goal or dream. This sounds easy, but often we find ourselves…

Saying No to what is my highest and best

What? Why would you do that? Because there exists within us subversive programming that resides in our unconscious that might lead us to believe that we are not derserving, not worthy, not educated enough, don’t have enough money… and the list of negative thoughts keep us from saying the proper response, which is, “Yes,” to those things that move us closer to what we want. Saying no to the things that would move you closer, creates more distance between where you are and where you’d like to be.

Saying Yes to what is not in our best interest

Then there is our tendency to say, “Yes,” to things that are clearly not in our best interest. It might feel better to have some temporary sense of feeling good, without thinking about the consequences or the effects of our affirmative reaction to something that will not move us closer to what we want. In fact, we may move even further away from what we ultimately want. (One extreme would be participating in addictions.)

Saying No to what is not in our best interest

Though it may take some bravery and courage, saying, “No,” to what is not in our best interest will keep us from falling back and moving us further from the life that we desire. Excluding things that are not in our best interest moves us closer to what we want. Saying no to the things that are not in our best interest is almost as effective as saying, “Yes,” to the things that are.

More Good than Bad

One of my clients uses what he calls the “More Good than Bad Rule,” in all of his decision-making. He possesses a brilliant analytical mind, reduces every decision to an equation, and his inclusive final answer is based on this: If a thing is more good than bad, it’s a yes.

On the other hand, if a thing is more bad than good, then it is an immediate no and exclusion.

He’s very effective at taking action of his negative decisions, which I disagree on. I will usually err on the side of inclusion rather than exclusion in business, which sometimes pays off. But I must admit his cut-throat style of eliminating anything more bad than good makes more sense in the long run (though may cause problems in the short-term).

The process that we use to influence our ability to effectively,

let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay

is a fluid process of growth and change.

How can you better wield your decision-making skills today?