Accepting Responsibility and Change

We all make decisions in the moment that affect the rest of our lives. These are those pivotal places in life which disrupt the current path of our lives, changing the direction, plan, and purpose of our lives completely.

There is nothing wrong with this. There is no wrong way to make a decision or take an action which changes the rest of your life forever, for no matter what you do, it is always divine in nature.

There is no need to second-guess or apologize for anything you say or do result in your ability to change your life. When the result causes a significant change of direction in your life, this is always for your highest and best.

Your life might be in need of a drastic change, and most likely whenever this massive readjustment takes place, you are not going to feel good about it. You may feel good about the change in the beginning, only to second-guess your decisions or actions later. You may discover that others (possibly even yourself) might try to make you feel guilty about making such a major adjustment.

Guilt is nothing that serves you, so reject the idea of it at every opportunity. You may have remorse because you would have rather something had gone or turned out differently than you expected but feeling guilty is a fear-based emotion which seeks to tear at your emotional fabric and intends to destroy your individuality.

You must find peace in accepting things as they are (what is accepting what is?), honoring regret without succumbing to remorse.

Maybe, if given the chance to do it over, you would have handled the details differently, but the truth of the matter is that things unfolded the way they did. You did the best you could in the moment that changed everything, and you did so perfectly. Want a do-over?

Yes, things changed, and this is the essence of a life full of opportunities for growth and change, increasing the possibilities exponentially throughout your life as it ripples throughout the lives of others.

These life choices, challenges, or changes in life circumstances enable us to grow and expand beyond that which would have been possible had we stayed in a sedimentary or dormant vibration.

People in your life may not have the same respect for growth and change, and they may try to intimidate or impose psychological pressure on you in an effort to persuade you to stay the same. There is a certain comfort in sameness, which hinders growth and supports mediocrity. You needn’t settle for mediocrity.

If you’ve chosen the pursuit of a life path which is open to change then opportunities to change will present themselves, and if your life is not changing, then you’re not doing it right.

You are not flawed, and you’re never doing it wrong, no matter what anyone says. You are simply making your own way and honoring your God-given right to do so.

It was never your intention to offend or hurt anyone in the process. If anyone was offended or hurt, you may regret your part in their pain, and vow to do it differently, better than the last time. This is part of your learning and growth process.

No one knows better than I, that even with the best intentions, the outcome did not unfold as I expected and people (even including myself) were hurt in the process. For this, I have profound regret, but my heart was pure. I accept responsibility for those things I cannot change, apologize when appropriate, and vow to learn and try to do better if ever I revisit a similar circumstance.

Your journey is one unlike any other, and we can’t wait to see you live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Make a T Chart

A great method for determining what is in your best interest, using a T chart is an easy way to logically evaluate the weighing of pros and cons in any situation when making a decision and taking any particular resulting action may have far reaching results and/or consequences.

I use this method with my clients as well as in my personal life. It’s a good way to keep your linear wits about you when your heart and/or feelings may not be reporting proper resonance in the particular moment in time (which is one of my personal weaknesses).

Using a T chart is easy and can make all the difference both in the short run and the long run.

The only tools you need to use a T chart is a piece of paper and a writing instrument for weighing out the pros and cons of any situation, challenge or obstacle that you face.

On your piece of paper, simply draw one line across the top and a vertical line down the middle forming a T. On one side of the page list all the positives and on the other side the negatives. This can be immensely valuable when considering any upcoming action or decision that you might be facing.

Let’s say you’re offered a good job with benefits in another city and state requiring relocation. You proceed by drawing your T and writing “My New Job” at the top. On the left list the positives, on the right the negatives (or switch up left and right, whatever feels best to you). By reviewing your resulting lists, side-by-side, you are able to see which way you should lean in your decision-making process.

You could apply this method to anything such as

  • What would be the best kind of pet for me?
  • Where should I plan my next vacation?
  • Who should I spend my time with?
  • Where should I live?
  • What occupation is best for me?
  • How should I invest my money?
  • What should I do when facing a challenge?
  • How should I handle distractions?

The T chart is not the end-all-be-all in decision-making, it is only a tool used to evaluate and weigh the pros and cons in any given circumstance. It can also be used in other ways.

I used this method to create my Soul Mate List, where I utilized a T chart to review previous relationships.

The first list was a T chart consisting of all the things I didn’t like about my past romantic relationships, which I listed on the left-hand column. Then on the other side, opposite the negative items, I re-framed the negative into a positive attribute. For instance, if in the left-hand column it said, “Can’t be trusted,” opposite the negative statement, I would notate the positive virtue on the other side, like, “Can always be trusted.”

Using a T chart in this way helped me to re-frame and focus on the attributes I sincerely desired, not the negative ones which would only bring me more of the same.