How to Stop the Latent Abuse

You’ve been in an abusive relationship or a victim of abuse, and you’ve stopped the abuse. How do you stop the latent abuse? You found a way out, you were rescued, or you rescued yourself. Then you discover it didn’t stop the abuse. The abuse continues, it lingers. It digs at the deepest parts of you.

You’re like, “I’ve done all the work, I’m safe and free. Yet, it’s like I am still in the midst of it. Will I ever be free?”

This traumatic connection to your abuser allows the abuse to continue over time through an uncontrollable series of secondary emotional responses which are nearly, if not as, severe as when you actually were submitted to the abuse.

This latent abuse persists over time and can be more damaging than the abuse which triggers it because you may have only suffered the abuse once, but the latent abuse tarries and further abuses you over and over again.

This fits the definition of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When you suffer abuse at the hands of another, you are connected to that person. While you may be able to save yourself from the abuse by separating yourself from the abusive environment or situation, you are continually traumatized or re-abused by the thought of the abuse, or when triggered by anything remotely associated with the abuse.

If you are unable to cut the cord of this emotional connection to your abuser, he or she will have continued control over you for the rest of your life, causing you to suffer even more, even though he or she is not even there.

Most abusers do not take satisfaction over this continued abuse because they don’t even think about it, but if you’ve suffered at the hands of a psychopath, the continued abuse you suffer over time is their badge of honor. Psychopaths pride themselves in being able to continually hurt someone over a period of time, for life, even more so.

If you are the victim of latent abuse, the best advice to follow is to seek out a coach or counselor with some experience in helping others overcome the continued suffering of latent abuse or PTSD. This is serious business and there are hundreds of ways to deal with the lingering effect of latent trauma, some methods are more effective than others.

They key is to enable you to cut the cords which connect your abuser to you once and for all. When you suffer abuse at the hands of another, you are emotionally connected to the monster within your abuser. To truly be free, you must not only separate yourself from your abuse, but you must cut the emotional cord which connects you to the monster.

You can experience relief from latent trauma by using my Emotional Release Method (ERM). You don’t have to seek out professional help, and you can enjoy freedom from the emotional connection to your abuser. You will be able to recall the events from the past that traumatized you, without having to feel all the emotional pain associated with those memories.

Whatever method you use to cut the cord of emotional abuse, you will know you are truly free when you can recall the events without feeling the pain associated with the abuse. Then, and only then, will you be free to heal the emotional wounds and grow unencumbered by your abuser.

If you are like others who have suffered abuse in the past, you may ask yourself, “Why would I be subjected to such abuse?”

“Why?” is a disempowering question. Why stops all forward momentum for growth and can even put you in reverse (See: WHY = STOP + Reverse). Though, you might consider this:

No one is more qualified than you to reach out and help someone else from suffering this kind of abuse. In a sense, you’re being subject to this abuse has equipped you to help others who have suffered similar trauma.

This is a part of your journey.

Imagine turning all this latent trauma into a powerful weapon for good. Your experience can empower you to be a force for good, empowering others to change their lives, heal, grow, enjoy a better life, and make the world a better place.

How Dare You Disrespect Me

You know what I’m talking about. It happens every day in the lunchroom, on the court, in the office, in person, on the phone, or on social media, like Facebook, someone says, texts, or posts something that instantly takes you to fight-or-flight. Hurt or anger wells up inside you and you either say or shout,

“How dare you disrespect me!”

Your ego is riled up and in full force, posting up ready to fight, defending your honor over words that someone has uttered or typed which have offended you and possibly cut you so deep that you are crippled by the assault.

Whatever the reason, someone had the unmitigated gall to bully you, spewing at you their hurtful words. When words hurt you, the effects can be very real, as if you’ve been punched in the gut, hit it the face with a board, instantly suffered a knife wound from being stabbed in the back, or shot through the heart.

While people might accidentally step on a nerve or unintentionally say something that might offend you, believe it or not, there are actually people who might try to hurt you on purpose. This leaves you wanting to confront them and say, “You hurt me.”

They might suffer from deep, dark inner wounds, far hidden from visible or conscious view. This causes them to unconsciously project their fears onto people around them.

There is also a more conscious version of projection which projects their conscious inadequacies, things they know are problems in their own lives, but rather than deal with the issues themselves, they project them onto the people around them. This act offers them relief from feeling inadequate if they can convince themselves that someone (or everyone) else is worse than they are.

Then there are those who have to maintain a sense of superiority over others to make themselves feel better about themselves. If they do have a superiority complex, there’s a good chance they’re a little more adept at putting other people down and hurting their feelings than other individuals.

The stealthier verbal attackers are the ones who are passive-aggressive. They have the ability to disrespect or insult most anyone, without actually using specific words that can be addressed as being abusive, assaultive, or rude.

In these cases, the passive-aggressive might say something in a way that hurts your feelings, and when you respond negatively they reply with, “What?” Insisting they did not say anything (specific words that by themselves would not be assaultive) to hurt your feelings.

Someone with low self-esteem might be jealous of you and what you have. Someone who is jealous of you, your skills, talents, special abilities, station in life, or happiness, might like to strike out at you to hurt your feelings or even falsely accuse you of something to bring you down a peg or two. This offers him or her a bit of relief regarding their own life circumstances.

Everyone is just doing the best they can just to get through another day. There is so much struggle to have a good feeling about one’s self, that some of us (if not most of us) might get some sense of satisfaction by putting someone else down.

For some reason, our psyches are just set up that way. Either directly or indirectly disrespecting someone else for anything that would otherwise make us feel bad seems to be effective when we are very young and left unchecked it carries over into adulthood.

Then, of course, there is the psychopath who seeks to wreak havoc and leave a wake of emotional destruction wherever they go, but that’s a horse of a different color. In this case, see: How to Deal with a Psychopath.

Painful Separation and Moving On

You’ve bravely and courageously moved on leaving something previously integral to your life behind and you know you’re better off for it because it was weighing you down, holding you back. You know you’ve done the right thing, whether it was against your will or not.

Even so, your heart is aching and breaking because there was an incredible attachment to what went before, it had become a part of you. It’s as if you’ve walked away from a severed limb, as we feel the pain of a desperate wound, ever reminding you and causing you to second-guess, “Did I do the right thing?”

This is love and proof that you loved, and loved enough to create an attachment to this person, place, thing, activity, thought pattern, or belief. Of course, separation from something you loved and were attached to would be followed by a grieving process.

You have learned from the experience. You know you can live a better life as you grow and move on.

“But,” you interrupt the separation process, and you can, “What if” yourself ad infinitum, creating a spiraling whirlpool dragging you down into helplessness. You must always remind yourself, “This is for my highest and best good.” All things in this life are even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

Traumatic moments in life which lead to a massive change or repositioning always leads to some more grand opportunity and blessing, but you will be unable to see the open door calling you forth, if you are lost in the pain of separation.

Some things in life cannot be rationalized, explained, or have proper closure, especially if you are deeply connected to it at the time of separation. You cannot force any making sense of a thing without the proper context which does not come ‘til later. All things will be revealed later and you will realize the divinity of it all.

If you desire a better life you must move on from those things which do not serve you, no matter how much you love or enjoy them. You cannot hang onto abusive relationships, stay in jobs or careers which offer you no potential for increasing your satisfaction and enjoyment of life.

You need to place yourself in situations and circumstances which support your desire to grow and expand leading to more love and enjoyment in this life.

This is the nature of life. You grow, create attachments to where you are in life, and growth necessitates change. Change can be painful, but it is how we learn and keeps us from complacency and stagnation.

You may have a tendency to recoil to find safety in solitude. This is a natural response to separation from someone or something that you truly loved. To remain in seclusion is unhealthy and may lead to constant rumination and senseless self-abuse. It can leave you longing for the life you moved on from. Not good for you.

Deep inside your heart is all the power you would ever need to continue to love through the moving on process.

Remember, the change you seek, that different life begins with you. It is highly unlikely that you can change your partner, your friends, family, the government, your job, the weather, or the world as it is. You may be able to but doing so against the current is the hardest way to manifest change and is reserved for the fiercest of all warriors.

You can, on the other hand, change yourself and your life for the better at any moment in time.

The more loving, positive, and optimistic you can remain through any process of separation or change will increase the rapidness of the change process with an exponentially greater outcome due to your increased momentum.

Following separation, don’t grasp the first thing which appears to your awareness. Doing so will likely have you grabbing onto something that is too similar to that which you are trying to separate yourself from.

Allow yourself the time to heal and recalibrate, then choose your next step in the knowledge and faith that this is the best next step for you. Select that which is in support you’re your goals, dreams, and desires.

Place yourself in places and circumstances where you have the opportunity to express love. Always continue to love yourself, love yourself even more, and allow your love to spill over to those around you.

When things aren’t feeling right, look for the love inside of you.

All the love of God, the world, the universe, is inside you.

Regardless of what it feels like, you are love.

Feeling Bad About Negative Feelings

It’s okay to feel bad. Sometimes, the motivation to be positive or to consistently be a good influence on those around you can make you feel like you cannot allow your positive persona to be interrupted by feeling negative. If you do have negative feelings, you might like to cover it up or push it down, and for god’s sake don’t let anyone see your emotional falter because you wouldn’t want anyone to misinterpret any upset in your powerful baseline as weakness.

Are you a human being? Don’t you think others might be able to feel closer to you if you occasionally allow your humanity to show through? You are not a deity. You are a man or a woman making your own way through this life, just like anyone else. Yes, you want to remain positive, but you don’t want to separate yourself from the rest of humanity so much that you are no longer a member of the human race.

There are few cases in history where the attempt to do so wasn’t met with severe emotional conflict. A mentor of mine used to say, “Don’t become so spiritually-minded that you’re no earthly good.” Be in the world but not of the world. In essence being here but also maintaining a residence elsewhere simultaneously.

Here, amidst humanity, we all express a wide range of emotions, and you must find a way (or ways) to express these emotions. To not do so is a denial of the human condition, and your psychology and physiology will deteriorate, health will decline, and you may put yourself at risk of disease, psychotic breakdown, rapid aging, or a premature exit from the human condition altogether.

Yes, being positive and maintaining high vibrational states is preferred. St. Paul encourages us to fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. To think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8) which is integral to the maintenance of higher vibrations of the power of love.

You must also allow for the natural ebb and flow of life, especially if you intend to grow because the greatest growth spurts take place in the time of struggle, when things appear to not be going so well. You need both the good and the bad to move to the next level, sometimes more than others.

This complexity in life gives us the ability to enjoy all the richness this life has to offer. This contrast, as Esther Hicks says, “knowing what you don’t want helps you to know what you do want.” This is the balance of life, enabling you to know what it is that you want less of and what you desire more of in your life. You, then, can make the necessary adjustments in your life accordingly.

Your intention to remain so positive can keep you from seeing potential obstacles or danger. It is prudent to keep one foot on the ground, aware of your surroundings in the “real world” to avoid finding yourself in an undesirable predicament, or to find yourself falling into complacency.

Adversity leads you into growth, allowing you to come to increased clarity about what you want, empowering you to delineate specific goal for further advancement and achievement. In essence, being able to squeeze all the best juiciness out of all this life has to offer, all thanks to those less than desirable moments in this life.

A natural emotional response to not feeling right, or having negative emotions, might be to reject these feeling or to push them away but they are really an attention-getting pique to your awareness if instead, you start to look within, rather than to become defensive.

Since these feelings are in contrast to what you want, it is an exciting opportunity to break your positive flow, which is just comfortable enough that you can glide unaware of your surroundings, in a kind of sacred trance. This interruption can break your state or being just enough to look for new opportunities for potential alternative exploration, growth, or expansion.

The more you push against a thought with your consciousness, the more it expands in your unconscious mind, where the lower vibration undermines your ability to remain in higher vibrations in the background. This is why the Law of Attraction doesn’t care whether you want a thing or don’t want a thing. It is attracted to you whether you want it or not.

It’s like telling yourself not to think of a lemon. The more you resist a thought, the more apparent it becomes either consciously or unconsciously. This is also the nature of nightmares, where your unconscious mind runs rampant, unbridled by your conscious mind’s ability to squash your thoughts.

There is wisdom in inviting and allowing the negativity to flow over you, even to allow yourself to be fully engulfed by negative emotion for a predetermined period of time. In a sense surrendering to it in an effort to fully feel it. After fully expressed, you can examine the source, or look around for new opportunities which may be trying to expose themselves to your awareness.

In some cases, just letting it out and letting it go is all that is necessary.

Looking within yourself when your regular flow of life is interrupted by negative emotions might be the door through which you must pass to become aware of some lingering deep inner work longing to be addressed.

You might want to find or create a safe space or the company of another who will hold the sacred space for your expression of these negative emotions without fear of judgment.

Embrace the fullness of life, the good, the bad, and the potential for change, growth, exploration, and expansion.

An amazing journey lies ahead.

Love and the Past

We are all haunted by the demons which haunt us from our past. As much as we try to do our best to move forward to enjoy the best things in life, without victory over the past, the issues which we hold close to our hearts, those things which we have loved, lost, and hurt our feelings continue to haunt us.

Being a victim of the past disempowers us and gives the power we could potentially wield to those people, situations, and circumstances which overtake our attention, preventing us from enjoying to the fullest the best things this life has to offer. Left to themselves, this unresolved trauma can overtake you and ruin any possibility of having any hope of experiencing prolonged joy.

Relationships trigger these memories and the emotions connected to them, bringing them to the surface, even if we’re unaware of what’s happening. Unless you know this is what’s happening, it could have a negative impact on the relationship.

If you can look at this as a gift from God, as a way to bring our hidden emotional demons to the surface so we can deal with and exorcise them, then it will not seem so much like a curse or irrational pain on the loose.

Left unresolved, issues from your past will continue to appear affecting the lens through which you see life and all relationships. Therefore, if you have unresolved issues with a parent (could be anyone or any experience from your past) which you’ve pushed down way inside and may not even be conscious of, this will color intimate relationships as you are given the opportunity to deal with those issues which do not serve you.

Ignored opportunities will look as though you are overreacting to something that would otherwise be perceived as a minimal challenge, insignificant, or benign. Yet, here you are, all emotionally charged up, being ruled by the very thing which needs to be brought up and cleared.

We are all triggered and react in different ways when this opportunity presents itself.

This is God’s invitation for you to deal with and heal hidden or ignored trauma from the past. Without this natural mechanism of using relationships to allow unresolved issues from the past to appear, you would forever be a victim of the past.

God wants you to be free, to enjoy life, and have victory over the past.

To have victory over the past you must be brave and courageous to face the virtual demons of the past that haunt you.

It’s not enough to ignore the past and pretend that it just didn’t happen. This will only allow those issues to slowly eat away at you, robbing you of joy, promoting the deterioration of your immune system leading to disease and advanced aging, even premature mortality.

Some of the trauma from the past will have you seeing yourself vulnerable and a potential victim of abuse from those who are closest to you when no threat is actually present.

7 Phases of Love

You may also have feelings of fear, unworthiness, feeling as though you cannot be truly understood, disrespected, feeling as though you are being unjustly criticized, and the inability to trust other people. You are easily offended and are poised to defend yourself, always on the alert for some potential threat.

These are just a few of the signs that may be calling you to look within, especially if it appears to be a reaction which might be considered excessive based on the facts when viewed objectively.

When they appear, have the courage to look inside. The feelings you are experiencing may not have anything to do with your partner (though admittedly, it may feel like it at the time), it may be an unresolved issue from your past begging to be unearthed and set free.

Love brings these things to the surface, and love is the key that unlocks the trunk where all the things holding you back are contained within.

If you do not take the opportunity to deal with these issues, you are likely to project them on your partner and your potential for true love may not be recognized or available to you.

The good news is that love is never failing, and you will be presented with another opportunity to deal with these issues when the next opportunity for love arises.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Emotional Release Method

Whether you’re suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), struggling with emotional pain from a recent/past relationship, or carrying some other type of heavy burden from another time in your past, this Emotional Release Method (ERM) can help alleviate or eliminate the pain from past trauma or drama in just a few minutes.

I’m all about delivering the best and quickest results for my clients and I use my Emotional Release Method for clients, others I love and care about, and myself, when I need to address negative emotional anchors related to trauma or drama.

The method is a meditative tap dance which releases the emotive connection to any event from your past that is causing you emotional pain and/or physiological discomfort. The pain associated with past trauma and drama can be debilitating and my Emotional Release Method can give you the relief you need to get back on your game.

While my ERM is effective for disconnecting the emotional ties to deep-rooted negative feelings, and sorrow associated with distressful heartbreak, stress, drama, or trauma, it does not treat any underlying issues which may need to be dealt with and may be a part of your personal deep work, but you will experience the emotional pain relief now.

Emotional Release Method

To learn my Emotional Release Method, I suggest that you get to a quiet, secluded space, where you can have a bit of privacy to practice my ERM. Get a place where you can sit comfortably without interruption for a few minutes. Once you know how to perform the Emotional Release Method you can do it anywhere, anytime you need emotional relief.

Before you start, reduce the definition of the source of your emotional pain to a single sentence and be as brutally honest and open with yourself about how you feel. For instance, “I hate it when my boss yells at me when I didn’t do anything wrong!” If your emotional discomfort were on a scale of 1 to 10, make sure that when you repeat your defining sentence that it evokes the highest level of emotional discomfort.

In this example, we will assume your sentence (I hate it when my boss yells at me when I didn’t do anything wrong!) rates a 10 on your emotional scale of upset. Now, we can begin applying the Emotional Release Method.

Sit quietly and calmly, place your hand’s open palm in the center of your chest. Take a deep cleansing breath and relax as much as you can. Pause. Take another deep cleansing breath and relax a little more. One more deep cleansing breath will get you to a place where you can initiate the Emotional Release Method.

Using the tips of three fingers, move them in a circle in the middle of your chest gently, round and round, visualizing your regular breaths are going in and out of your heart, as you tell yourself these words, repeat them after me:

“I love you.”
“I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you.”
“I am here for you.”
“I will never leave or forsake you.”
“I love you.”

Continue to visualize and feel your normal breathing as if it were going in and out of your heart.

You are going to gently and repeatedly tap four points on your face, in a sort of sign-of-the-cross fashion, starting with the forehead, followed by the chin, the bone on the outside side of your left eye, then the right.

Tapping on the center of your forehead, repeat your defining sentence, feeling as much negative emotion as you can when you speak the words. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Next, tapping on your chin, repeat the same words, feeling as much negative emotion as you can, associated with your word sequence. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now tapping on the left side of your left eye on the bone, repeat the sentence that represents your emotional upset. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Finally, the outside of the right eye, on the bone, tap as you repeat those words again. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Back to drawing a continuous circle around the area of your heart, breathe into your heart love and compassion, and breathe out anything that might be not good for you. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Hold your open-palmed hand over your heart and repeat these words:

“I love you.”
“I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you.”
“I am here for you.”
“I will never leave or forsake you.”
“I love you.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now repeat those words, the words that previously rated a 10 on your negative emotional scale. What number does it feel like now?

If it is not down to a 2 or 3, or gone altogether, then repeat the Emotional Release Method again. You will find the negative emotions released more and more every time you perform my ERM.

Now that you know how to apply the Emotional Release Method, you can do it anytime, anywhere when you need an emotional space and a sense of peace about anything that tries to slow your roll.

You are now taking control of your own emotional wellbeing.

Congratulations.

You are loved.

You are love.

Big Boys Don’t Cry But They Should

Young boys are programmed not to show emotion as they are growing up, and this programming has been so effective that by the time they are adults, they have become rather emotionally numb and passé about things that might cause them to experience negative emotions, primarily sadness, as it signifies a lack of strength or weakness. To shed a tear is to expose your vulnerabilities, which is undignified, so we train our young men by instilling the mantra, “Big boys don’t cry.” And, for the most part, they comply.

The men in our world, at least 80 percent of them, don’t cry. They bottle up their sadness and lock it away inside to exude more strength, which is a virtue sought after by the opposing sex. This primal instinct makes men more appealing to women, who instinctively are attracted to signs of strength in a potential mate. This instinct hearkens back to a time in the early dawn of man and persisted until about a hundred years ago.

What happens when men withhold tears for years and possibly for a lifetime?

It’s no surprise that men who hide their emotions and pack them down into deep recesses of their mind are potentially walking powder kegs, that could explode at any moment, and many of them do. The explosive nature may express itself in extraordinary fits of rage, which can fuel a soldier to commit honorable acts of violence or create a domestic violence offender. To mitigate the growing pressure, these men may seek refuge in alcoholism or drug abuse to stave off pent up emotional outbursts.

Not crying comes at a great emotional cost and generally results in a shorter lifespan. Human beings who cry occasionally, live longer than their dry-eyed contemporaries.

In contrast to men, women cry more often and live longer than their male counterparts, but if they cry too much, they may find themselves at risk of being diagnosed with any of many neuroses, while women who do not cry might be considered as suffering from alexithymia.

Holding back one’s tears can be likened to willfully and slowly ingesting poison which will result in death, though abstaining from crying can be advantageous, especially in times of crisis. In emergent situations putting off the onset of tears can be hugely beneficial in crisis management and in such professions as military service and law enforcement. In these cases, an emotional release should be encouraged following the sounding of “all clear” or cessation of the crisis.

Refusing to cry and continuing to bottle up your emotions causes stress on the entire biological system and leads to a greater risk of heart disease and premature deterioration of brain function and health. Not crying will also make you more irritable and vulnerable to headaches, high blood pressure, and depression.

Crying is a good thing

The shedding of tears is an essential part of dealing with the wide variety of emotions that we all are blessed with. The ability to cry due to emotional triggers is what separates us from the other lifeforms on this planet, it is an exclusive human gift to be revered. Tears can be an important tool in processing excessive emotions and are likely to appear (if you allow them to be released) in both times of extreme emotional pain or happiness. The enormous outpouring of emotions such as love, compassion, reverent appreciation, or loss can also trigger a tearful emotional release promoting better mental and physical health and well-being.

Even though societal constraints or upbringing may make a tearful expression seem uncomfortable or awkward, nothing could be better for you psychologically and physiologically. Crying is an effective transitional response between emotional overwhelm and a sense of calm, or peace, following a good cry.

Crying allows the release of pent up emotional storages, which are harmful to us as tears release toxins in the body, leading to better health and longevity.

Maybe it’s time you let a tear or two fall, or enjoy a thorough release and let all those emotions careen down your face. It’s okay.

Big Boys Should Cry

and you are blessed if you can.

Pain Is A Gift

Life is fraught with pain. We will all experience pain in this life, but you get to choose whether the pain you experience will be long term suffering or healing pain.

You may be taken aback by the idea of choosing how you experience pain, if you are unfamiliar with the discipline of choice. You’re in good company because most people cannot wrap their head around the idea of choosing their pain.

Most people resign themselves to play the part of the victim and allow the forces around them to dictate when to be happy or sad, when to feel love or hate, when to feel good or bad.

If pain is inevitable (I don’t know if there’s any way to avoid pain) could you consider, if only for a moment, that you could make a conscious choice to have a perspective of fear which plays out as long term suffering, or from a perspective of love which uses the pain to heal, promote personal growth and the nurtures the advancement of your human potential.

When you assume the role of the victim, you allow something or someone else to have control over you and your emotions, and you can continue to give them this power over you over a prolonged term, even a lifetime, making you a slave to the pain.

Or, you can change your perspective by taking full responsibility for the pain (thus disarming the person or thing that was causing the pain) and look for the blessing.

While it may be hard to consider the idea that your pain can have blessing attached to it, this is an immutable reality.

All Pain Is a Gift

Better said, everything painful that you experience has within it a gift, a blessing. Something good and wonderful is waiting for you to discover it hidden within and masked by the pain. But you must diligently look for it to find it.

Pain is God’s way of saying, “Trust Me.”

If you surrender to the pain and focus on the circumstances outside, the landscape will be so cluttered that it would be impossible to see the forest for the trees.

But if you can take responsibility, possession, and ownership of the pain, you can gain the perspective necessary to find the hidden gift. And in many cases, once you are able to do this, you will find the pain may have kept you safe from something far worse,  possibly even saved your life.

You could spend a lifetime, punishing yourself, or someone or something else for some injustice. You see it all around you, people who are ever masking their pain, parading as a victim or self-medicating to mitigate the damages of being wronged. This is not only acceptable in the society which we live, but promoted as our slavery to pain enslaves us into addictions for profit.

The worse we feel about being victimized, the more we focus on abusing ourselves with alcohol, drugs, work, sex, hatred, anything that will give us a momentary sense of relief. Yet, try as we may, when the smoke clears, the lights go on, or the next day dawns, the pain remains. Unless you take action.

At the very least, do a search on YouTube for “Emotional Freedom Technique” (EFT). This is an effective method of breaking the neurological connection between the thought of the source of your pain and the physiological manifestation of the pain in your body.

You could visit an EFT practitioner to do the deep work, but you can easily find relief just by spending a few moments perusing YouTube, or if you have time, investigate via Google search.

This one simple technique is quick, easy and painless, freeing you from the evil grip the pain has on you. This can give you enough space to catch your breath, regain your equilibrium and exert your cognitive skills enough to start looking for the gift that is waiting to be uncovered.

Vow to never be enslaved by pain again. You are beginning to evolve into the more advanced form of yourself. Taking this action causes your life – even your DNA – to change.

You are awakening the new you trying to emerge, and all you have to do is to be open and proactive, allowing the transformation to take place naturally.

 

Emotional Wounds

An emotional wound is a metaphor representing the result of traumatic events that have taken place at various times throughout your life. Just like a physical wound, if it is fresh, when you touch it, your pain centers will fire up and you will react to the pain. Left to themselves, emotional wounds may get infected with emotional poison, fester, spread.

 

Diagnosis

How can you tell if you’re infected with the disease? It’s easy. Has there ever been a time when someone said something to you and you over-reacted, experienced an emotional outburst, or acted irrationally? Have you ever thought about something that happened in your past that made you feel sad, hurt, depressed or angry? If you answered “Yes” to either or both of those questions: You have the emotional disease, and you are contagious.

The human psyches can only contain such pain so you must find a way to release the emotional pain. An effective way to relieve the pain of an infected emotional wound is to drain the emotional wound. Spewing the emotional poison to another person releases the pressure of the poison-filled emotional wound. Doing so, makes us feel a sense of relief because you’ve released the poison. But now that the poison has been transferred to someone else, it is infecting the recipient’s emotional wounds.

This unenlightened method of releasing emotional poison is to allow the emotional poison (negative energy and emotions) to build to such a degree as you have an emotional outburst, commonly irrationally striking out at someone nearby (often people who you trust the most). You feel better as the other person begins to feel worse. The other person has their own emotional wounds. The poison you’ve released to them infects the latent emotional poison within them, and it’s not too long (may be immediate) that they strike back at you, or strike out at someone else.

This is the dysfunctional state of the negative energetic cycle which we are surrounded by every day. It’s no wonder the world is in the condition it is at the moment.

A more enlightened approach is to understand this idea of emotional wounds and their emotional poison. Once you realize what is taking place, you can find more effective ways to treat your own emotional wounds, release the emotional poison and heal them. With a bit of understanding and intentional effort, your emotional wounds could be healed once and for all.

You will find folks on a path to expanded consciousness becoming aware of this idea of emotional wounds, and what sets them apart from the mainstream population is that they are intensely combing through the tangles of their lives, finding their wounds and taking personal responsibility for their healing.

At present, there is a worldwide epidemic of viral emotional poison triggering an unfathomable amount of emotional wounds that exist throughout the world.

You can be free of the emotional disease, no longer a carrier and immune.
Then, there is you. You are on this path of self-awareness and you are seeking to uncover, treat and heal your emotional wounds. If you remain on this path and do the healing work on yourself, you could be completely free of the emotional disease altogether, and you will no longer be a carrier of the disease and develop immunity to it.

And you’re not alone. There is a growing number of individuals who are actively engaged in this personal work, and a growing number of those among the therapeutic and spiritual communities who are also supporting an expanding effort to treat emotional wounds, disinfect and heal them for good.

This concerted effort to individually and collectively spread the emotional healing will take time, but it’s getting better every day and the healing effects of it are already being felt across our nation and around the world.

Love Balloon Therapy

If you’re having a heavy negative emotional response to any person, memory, situation or circumstance – one that causes psychological or physiological pain or discomfort – you might consider initiating the Love Balloon Method for relief.

Used in my practice, the Love Balloon Method, is a simple guided meditation technique that relieves the stress and trauma of a challenging life event while retaining the lessons learned. The Love Balloon Method can be an effective therapeutic process in your life and/or practice.

Equipment Required

  • A Penny
  • A Balloon
  • A Pin (optional)

The only props needed for this process is a penny (or any other small object to be used as a focal point, such as a crystal or stone, etc) and an unused balloon. I use a penny due to its conductive properties and they are readily available, but you could use anything of a similar modest size. The balloon is used for its insulation quality and also as an active part of the emotional release process and the pin (or any sharp object) to pop the balloon when appropriate.

The Love Balloon Process

Relax

Relax in a comfortable position and focus on the person, memory, situation or circumstance causing your discomfort. You may find the emotional impact from this event or thing disrupting your life or day at unexpected times causing you to feel uneasy, anything from mildly uncomfortable – to – sick to your stomach or other pain in your body.

Close Your Eyes

For this moment in time, you are simply finding a peaceful place in your mind to relax prior to starting the process as you hold the penny in your left hand, palm up, between your thumb and middle finger. When you have achieved a reasonable state of calm and peace you are ready to move onto recalling the event.

Recall

Using your imagination – with your eyes closed – recall every detail about the object of your discomfort. Ramp up all the emotional impact that you can so that if on a scale of 1 – to – 10, your emotions would be as close to a ten as possible, as if you were as hurt, angry or uncomfortable as if it were happening, right now.

Watch TV

In your mind’s eye, shrink the scene down so that you see the event in its entirety as if it were on a television screen. Now step outside of the television screen, so you can clearly see all the events taking place from outside the TV. Outside the television you remain safe from the event(s) taking place. You can view the entire scene and while it may be uncomfortable to watch it play out before you, you are separated from the scene as it plays out before you.

From this vantage point, you have the remote control, and see how you can pause the scene, fast forward, rewind, , zoom in, zoom out, play in slow motion and adjust the sound of the scene. In fact, you will be surprised and/or amused at how much control you have other the entire scene. Try it now.

White Light, Love and Joy

Imagine a beam of white light beaming down from above, right down through the top of your head, passing through your head to your heart, filling your heart with the light of love and joy. Let this light flow full force and spread its glow throughout your whole body and overflow out through your feet and into the earth below.

Let the television turn and spin as it is engulfed by the heavy flow of love and joy to shrink and follow the flow to the area of your heart, where it spins in the heart’s vortex of light, love and joy.

Hand on Heart

Place your right hand on your heart, creating an overflow of light, love and joy recycled as it overflows from the heart, traveling through your right shoulder, through your arm, out your palm and in the area of your heart where the TV spins even more.

Charge the Penny

When you are ready, right hand still on your heart, send the TV and this incredible love, light, joy and energy down your left arm and see it flow into the penny. See the penny glow in white light while the TV is locked safely inside.

Open Your Eyes

Penny to Balloon

Take the balloon now with your right hand and stuff the penny with your event trapped inside into the balloon. The balloon is made of rubber which acts as an insulator. Safely tucked inside, you can feel the penny but cannot feel any of the emotion. Inside the balloon, it is just a penny.

Blow Up the Balloon

In the knowledge that the flow of light, love and joy, still flowing through the top of your head to your heart and overflowing out through your feet, breathe in and see your breath filling the area of your heart glowing with the light of love and joy. Use this love and joy infused breath to blow up the balloon.

Repeat inhaling into your heart and blowing as your exiting breath filled with light, love and joy continues to fill the love balloon.

Filled Love Balloon

Once the balloon is filled with all that light, love and joy, you can either pinch it or tie it off and sake the balloon. You can hear and feel your penny bouncing and rattling around inside. Imagine how silly and amusing your problems seem bouncing around inside the love balloon. Smile and increase your joy as it bounces around, even allow yourself to laugh at how funny this all is.

Release with Love

After you have amused yourself sufficiently and realize you are ready to finally let go of the emotional impact of the event. Honor the event by allowing your mind to be able to find the goodness, the lesson and learning from having lived through this event as you release all the emotional control this person, memory, situation or circumstance had over you in love.

If you are pinching the balloon, release it with the grand, flatulent sound of sudden deflating and laugh or even cheer as it is gone. Alternative, if you have tied the balloon, pop it and your problem explodes along with the balloon.

Celebrate Freedom

Celebrate by uttering a vocal, “Wa-hoo!” or some similar phrase that makes you feel good. Do a jig and dance around the room. You are now free from the emotional impact or abuse from this person, memory, situation or circumstance.

Wa-hoo!

I love the love balloon.