Unconditional Love Makes You Angry

You’re not alone if the idea of unconditional love makes you angry.

You’ve been trained to desire unconditional love. You want to be loved for who you are, everything, the good, the bad, your adorable traits and the mistakes you have made and may make from this day forward. To feel as though you could be accepted and loved no matter what is what you long for.

You can look back on decisions and actions you’ve initiated in your past didn’t turn out the way you planned and may have turned out badly, possibly making you look and feel stupid. You know you could have done better if given a second chance. After all, your intentions were pure when you did it or allowed it to happen.

To be loved, regardless of the stupid things you’ve done in the past, not judged for those things you could have done better and understood as if anyone in the same situation might have done the same thing seems reasonable. And this is what you long for.

While this kind of unconditional love is what you desire, to imagine the offering of such a love to another feels like a preposterous proposition. This is when the idea of unconditional love makes you angry.

What? Love someone no matter what? Do you think I’ve learned nothing from all the pain I’ve endured throughout the course of my life? Have you lost your mind?

If I’ve learned anything, I know you can’t trust anyone, particularly someone you care about, and the more you care about them, the more they will hurt you, and the less you can trust them.

You have surrounded yourself with a protective forcefield in an effort to keep yourself safe from disappointment or risk of being hurt.

Congratulations. You’ve built for yourself and voluntarily checked-in to your hospital fortress where you can find the love you seek from within and heal, because life has been hard, and you need this time to focus on you, isolated from potential harm.

No one would blame you for feeling bad, sad, or mad while suffering from your wounds in your love hospital for recovery. While recovering from these wounds, of course, the idea of unconditional love makes you angry, anyone else in the same situation would feel the same way.

You are suffering from a form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), not unlike any other form of PTSD.

If it weren’t for the support of others in their own various stages of love wound recovery, you would be totally alone and isolated in your fortress hospital, and with others who have are also suffering from love’s wounds you develop a supportive camaraderie. This kind of support can prolong your healing as you feel more comfortable in treatment than taking the risk of re-engaging in life outside the walls.

Isn’t the idea of checking one’s self into an isolated healing environment to become well enough to leave the facility and start to live your life again? To not do so transforms your hospital into a prison of your own making to serve out our own self-imposed life sentence. You needn’t suffer the extreme self-abuse of exercising your own love death penalty.

You’re better than that.

You can heal. In fact, you may be far more healed than you believe yourself to be. How many completely healthy people are in hospitals or recovery programs far past their healing because it’s safer to be in the hospital than to face your fears outside in the real world?

It’s time to get up and ambulate. Get outside and exercise your ability to love.

You can still exercise love when the idea of unconditional love makes you angry. No need to push through to unconditional love, but to start loving a little at a time would be highly beneficial.

You might find it helpful to see others as just like you.

You understand yourself so well and you would never intentionally do anything to hurt anyone else, unless in that moment, you felt like you had no other choice, as you were in fully engulfed in the fight-or-flight response. You felt like you had no other option(s).

You don’t have to love what someone else does, but you can still love the person.

Isn’t that what you want?

That is not to say that you allow anyone to abuse you. You have the right and obligation to separate yourself from dangerous situations, but let those situations be an authentic potential risk to you, your body, your mind, or your spirit. Don’t let your fear-inspired imagination to override your ability to find potential danger everywhere you look.

Instead, look to understand and realize that the person with whom you are feeling conflict is looking back at you in the mirror. If you were that person, having lived the same life, you would have done the same thing.

You can feel compassion for that person (not feeling “sorry” for them because that insinuates your superiority), trying to understand what it might like to be like to have to feel as though you might feel like you have to live life, like that. It could make you sad, and even react in a less defensive manner.

Even if the idea of unconditional love makes you angry, don’t let it stop you. Find ways to exercise your love. Start with letting friends in a little deeper. Find a child to love. Make occasions for you to engage in activities that you love, and allow your activities to grow to include more people to participate in those things that you love in public.

Get up. Get out of your love hospital, even if only briefly at first, and one day you will find you no longer rely on your self-restraint and self-imposed love prison sentence.

You have complete control of your release date. You get to leave early based on your healing and good behavior if you want to.

Maybe today is the day.

Write down today’s date, mark it on the calendar, and walk out on your own accord.

Set yourself free.

The greatest love is waiting for you.

Emotional Release Method

Whether you’re suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), struggling with emotional pain from a recent/past relationship, or carrying some other type of heavy burden from another time in your past, this Emotional Release Method (ERM) can help alleviate or eliminate the pain from past trauma or drama in just a few minutes.

I’m all about delivering the best and quickest results for my clients and I use my Emotional Release Method for clients, others I love and care about, and myself, when I need to address negative emotional anchors related to trauma or drama.

The method is a meditative tap dance which releases the emotive connection to any event from your past that is causing you emotional pain and/or physiological discomfort. The pain associated with past trauma and drama can be debilitating and my Emotional Release Method can give you the relief you need to get back on your game.

While my ERM is effective for disconnecting the emotional ties to deep-rooted negative feelings, and sorrow associated with distressful heartbreak, stress, drama, or trauma, it does not treat any underlying issues which may need to be dealt with and may be a part of your personal deep work, but you will experience the emotional pain relief now.

Emotional Release Method

To learn my Emotional Release Method, I suggest that you get to a quiet, secluded space, where you can have a bit of privacy to practice my ERM. Get a place where you can sit comfortably without interruption for a few minutes. Once you know how to perform the Emotional Release Method you can do it anywhere, anytime you need emotional relief.

Before you start, reduce the definition of the source of your emotional pain to a single sentence and be as brutally honest and open with yourself about how you feel. For instance, “I hate it when my boss yells at me when I didn’t do anything wrong!” If your emotional discomfort were on a scale of 1 to 10, make sure that when you repeat your defining sentence that it evokes the highest level of emotional discomfort.

In this example, we will assume your sentence (I hate it when my boss yells at me when I didn’t do anything wrong!) rates a 10 on your emotional scale of upset. Now, we can begin applying the Emotional Release Method.

Sit quietly and calmly, place your hand’s open palm in the center of your chest. Take a deep cleansing breath and relax as much as you can. Pause. Take another deep cleansing breath and relax a little more. One more deep cleansing breath will get you to a place where you can initiate the Emotional Release Method.

Using the tips of three fingers, move them in a circle in the middle of your chest gently, round and round, visualizing your regular breaths are going in and out of your heart, as you tell yourself these words, repeat them after me:

“I love you.”
“I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you.”
“I am here for you.”
“I will never leave or forsake you.”
“I love you.”

Continue to visualize and feel your normal breathing as if it were going in and out of your heart.

You are going to gently and repeatedly tap four points on your face, in a sort of sign-of-the-cross fashion, starting with the forehead, followed by the chin, the bone on the outside side of your left eye, then the right.

Tapping on the center of your forehead, repeat your defining sentence, feeling as much negative emotion as you can when you speak the words. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Next, tapping on your chin, repeat the same words, feeling as much negative emotion as you can, associated with your word sequence. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now tapping on the left side of your left eye on the bone, repeat the sentence that represents your emotional upset. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Finally, the outside of the right eye, on the bone, tap as you repeat those words again. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Back to drawing a continuous circle around the area of your heart, breathe into your heart love and compassion, and breathe out anything that might be not good for you. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Hold your open-palmed hand over your heart and repeat these words:

“I love you.”
“I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you.”
“I am here for you.”
“I will never leave or forsake you.”
“I love you.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now repeat those words, the words that previously rated a 10 on your negative emotional scale. What number does it feel like now?

If it is not down to a 2 or 3, or gone altogether, then repeat the Emotional Release Method again. You will find the negative emotions released more and more every time you perform my ERM.

Now that you know how to apply the Emotional Release Method, you can do it anytime, anywhere when you need an emotional space and a sense of peace about anything that tries to slow your roll.

You are now taking control of your own emotional wellbeing.

Congratulations.

You are loved.

You are love.

Inner Child Tantrum

And then, totally unexpectedly, you burst into fight-or-flight, in an over-reactive defensive emotional outburst. After a moment, your state of mind relaxes enough to notice the expressions on the faces of the people witnessing your outburst; they must think you’re crazy. As you feel your emotions subside you’re wondering if you’re crazy, too. You know you were out of pocket, and can’t figure out what just happened.

Say, “Hello,” to your wounded inner child, who is throwing a tantrum.

Your inner child can break through and expose itself at any time, and usually expresses itself defensively, fearfully, frantically, or shamefully, in a way that is inconsistent with your normal adult state of being. Most of the time your inner child occupies the space in your mind and your heart but sometimes it breaks out in a way that encompasses your entire being.

Your inner child doesn’t always express itself negatively, it can also revel in joyous celebration in the best of times, but in most cases, your inner child hides in fear of being hurt due to wounds you may have suffered as a young child.

Since your youth you have grown into a strong adult and as you grew and matured your inner child fractured and found a safe place to reside inside you, so the more aware and physically demonstrable you could mature as you found your methods of interacting with your adult world in the most effective manner. Meanwhile, your inner child took the back seat.

Your inner child is content in hiding safely away deep inside you, but every once and a while gets it’s feelings hurt or feel threatened by something happening in your present and asserts itself, feeling its life is at risk or pitches a fit.

The inner child is always in a heightened state of awareness looking for potential threats. When something triggers it, he or she panics, initiating our instinctive reaction to either fight for life or flee in hopes of finding a safe retreat. In that moment your inner child has usurped your ability to cognitively manage your adult life. As you review the over-reaction, you can see there was no apparent threat, but your inner child perceived some detail that caused you to instinctively react as if there was a real threat.

When we are young, we find it hard to rationalize or make sense out of the injustices we suffer as a child. It isn’t long and we often realize that if we protest, we suffer negative consequences, so instead we learn to find ways to bottle up those fragile emotions and that part of ourselves which feels small and powerless fractionates from our conscious awareness and finds a safe place to hide inside of us. All that part of us wanted was to be accepted, loved, and protected, and even now, that’s all it really wants.

Therein lays the key to resolving the conflict between the adult rational part of you and your inner child.

You can give your inner child the love and acceptance he or she longs for and invite him or her to have an honored and safe place to live in your current world, where you can share life in harmony, no longer fractionated, safe and secure, with no need to hide.

Emotional Wounds

And emotional wound is a metaphor representing the result of traumatic events that have taken place at various times throughout your life. Just like a physical wound, if it is fresh, when you touch it, your pain centers will fire up and you will react to the pain. Left to themselves, emotional wounds may get infected with emotional poison, fester, spread.

Diagnosis

How can you tell if you’re infected disease? It’s easy. Has there ever been a time when someone said something to you and you over-reacted, experienced an emotional outburst, or acted irrationally? Have you ever thought about something that happened in your past that made you feel sad, hurt, depressed or angry? If you answered “Yes” to either or both of those questions: You have the emotional disease, and you are contagious.

The human psyches can only contain such pain so you must find a way to release the emotional pain. An effective way to relieve the pain of an infected emotional wound is to drain the emotional wound. Spewing the emotional poison to another person releases the pressure of the poison-filled emotional wound. Doing so, makes us feel a sense of relief because you’ve released the poison. But now that the poison has been transferred to someone else, it is infecting the recipient’s emotional wounds.

This unenlightened method of releasing emotional poison is to allow the emotional poison (negative energy and emotions) to build to such a degree as you have an emotional outburst, commonly irrationally striking out at someone nearby (often people who you trust the most). You feel better as the other person begins to feel worse. The other person has their own emotional wounds. The poison you’ve released to them, infects the latent emotional poison within them, and it’s not too long (may be immediate) that they strike back at you, or strike out at someone else.

This is the dysfunctional state of the negative energetic cycle which we are surrounded by every day. It’s no wonder the world is in the condition it is at the moment.

A more enlightened approach is to understand this idea of emotional wounds and their emotional poison. Once you realize what is taking place, you can find more effective ways to treat your own emotional wounds, release the emotional poison and heal them. With a bit of understanding and intentional effort, your emotional wounds could be healed once and for all.

You will find folks on a path to expanded consciousness becoming aware of this idea of emotional wounds, and what sets them apart from the mainstream population is that they are intensely combing through the tangles of their lives, finding their wounds and taking personal responsibility for their healing.

At present there is a worldwide epidemic of viral emotional poison triggering an unfathomable amount of emotional wounds that exists throughout the world.

You can be free of the emotional disease, no longer a carrier and immune.
Then, there is you. You are on this path of self awareness and you are seeking to uncover, treat and heal your emotional wounds. If you remain on this path and do the healing work on yourself, you could be completely free of the emotional disease altogether, and you will no longer be a carrier of the disease and develop immunity to it.

And you’re not alone. There is a growing number of individuals who are actively engaged in this personal work, and a growing number of those among the therapeutic and spiritual communities who are also supporting an expanding effort to treat emotional wounds, disinfect and heal them for good.

This concerted effort to individually and collectively spread the emotional healing will take time, but it’s getting better every day and the healing effects of it are already being felt across our nation and around the world.