Helping someone who hasn’t asked for it

I know you like to help people. You see someone struggling and you want to lend a hand to offer them support so they can have a better life. This is all good and shows you have a servant’s heart.

It’s a tough row to hoe when you’re helping someone who hasn’t asked for it.

The key is to be gentle when dealing with someone who hasn’t really asked for your help. You cannot assume where they are in their life’s journey and you cannot know what’s going on inside someone else’s head or heart.

You cannot want something more for someone else than they want it for themselves.

Just be humble and offer him or her a choice. As you are encouraging others, try to remain empathetic and let them know you’d like to have them as a part of your circle of friends, and let them opt in or out. Let it be their choice.

You can’t really help someone who doesn’t want your help.

Letting your inner love-guidance system lead you, invite them to play with you in your world. You could invite them to share a meal or attend an event with you, and see how they do.

You hear many stories of personal metamorphosis which started with someone taking notice of them and inviting them along to experience something new. All they need was that little nudge to engage more fully in the spectrum of life.

A person might reject your initial invitation because they have low-self esteem or is not feeling up-to-par or lacking in self-confidence. So, it might be a good idea to walk away after the first rejection but give him or her another opportunity or two.

If you can find out why they don’t want to join you, maybe you can address that issue, then move on. Otherwise, don’t make them feel as though you are pressuring them.

You can help them by offering helpful comments about your observations of their social interactions if they are open to it, remembering to be gentle and kind as you do so.

The best way to give someone advice is to model the behavior yourself, like, “Watch me. See how I do it.” Let them observe you, then encourage them, “Now, you try it.”

In social situations, you can do the heavy lifting by setting up introductions for them, like,”Hey, this is my friend Jason. He’s an expert in repurposing technology. He’s amazing at taking old tech and turning it into something amazing. Don’t you have some old technology collecting dust?” Then, let them take it from there, as you continue to mingle elsewhere.

If you notice him or her struggling, don’t rush to their rescue. Just make a note of it for review later, in private. You are not coddling anybody, just giving him or her an opportunity to find their own way.

Be careful not to criticize but offer support humbly. You can lightheartedly mention that maybe next time, he check for toilet paper attached to his shoe before he leaves the restroom, without intimidating.

If you’re going to confront them on a bigger issue, like, let’s say she is a Debbie Downer, you might have to do a little more coaching on the many ways they can have more positive interactions with others in social settings.

Always remember, no one is broken or wrong. Everyone is just doing the best they can with what they have. You can offer assistance if they are willing to do their part along the way.

If they are not willing to participate with you in kind, then bless them as they make their own way. You may not be the best match to assist them or maybe this is just not a good time for them.

God bless you for reaching out, the world is a better place because of you.

Encouraging Others

You can have a huge impact on someone’s life just by adopting the ministry of encouraging others. I try to encourage others by edifying them, lifting them up, and trying to help them see the world of possibilities which we are all surrounded by every day but rarely see.

People are so focused on the “just getting by” or making it through to another day that they miss the incredible opportunities to embrace the idea that life can be so much more than just the same ol’ same ol’ day-to-day drudgery.

You are a child of God and as such, you are entitled to all the good things this life has to offer. You know this to be true because regardless of life circumstances, social programming, some inner personal wounds, and maybe not feeling worthy, or due to a lack of self-esteem, you want something more out of life.

You have the desire to live a better life because deep inside you know you were destined to live a better life, you best life and maybe even be so enthusiastically living such an incredible life that you might like to serve the greater good and make the world a better place.

Maybe all you need is a little encouragement, and as you’re feeling better about living this life, you can feel that tug on your heart to reach out to encourage others who are feeling awkward about embracing all this life has to offer them.

Most people find it hard to believe that they can, in a sense, “have it all.” Even though, if encouraged to step back and take a wider view of the world, they can see so much more than they could previously. The slightest change of perspective could make all the difference.

Many people have had such a difficult time with their life’s journey they are unable to see their own amazing qualities, skills, and gifts, which make them so incredibly valuable, even priceless, to the greater community around them.

When you become aware of someone’s unique abilities, please take the time to compliment them on their specialness. It may be the only encouragement or recognition they get. Why? Because the world we live in today has left us all so frantically trying to manage our waking hours in such a flurry of activity that we (feel like we) don’t have the time to spend our limited time (or attention) on someone who would have little or nothing to offer us in return.

Certainly, we do have to focus on our own stuff as we’re growing, changing, and evolving into the better version of ourselves, but our growth must include the encouragement of others around us, otherwise, we would be just selfish narcissists.

Would it be too much to ask if you witnessed someone exercising their ability to do or say something that sets them aside from the rest of the pack to encourage them with a compliment? Even if all you say is something rudimentary, like, “Hey, that thing you just did was so cool.”

I meet a lot of people at various stages along their walk of life who report they contemplated, then decided to make massive, more positive changes, in their life due to the slightest encouragement of someone they barely knew. That life-changing person could be you.

Encourage others without being critical. Try not to follow a compliment with a “but.” You can gently encourage others to do better without discounting your original compliment.

There’s no need to point out someone’s shortcomings (most people beat themselves up enough already).

Celebrate someone when you see them doing something good or expressing their individual gifts.

Do encourage others to stretch themselves to reach higher by complimenting them helping them to recognize their strengths, abilities and consider the unlimited potential they have while supporting them to do even better.

Step back, and watch them grow.