Disingenuous Lovers

Disingenuous lovers include those who are insensitive, having little ability to possess or share the heartfelt love that you might have, and will also include partners who approach love from completely different perspectives, these are the survivors, manipulators, and predators, among others.

With all the attempts to try to find a suitable partner who can love you in the very same way that you can love him or her, still there can exist an incompatibility in the type and style of love and loving which you share. Sometimes you discover yourself unequally yoked with a disingenuous or fake love.

Probably the most difficult part of finding a vibrationally matched lover, one that approaches the idea of love in a way that is harmonious with you, is so elusive, sometimes we just give-in, compromise, and accept what is more attainable, then work out the details later in the relationship.

The earlier in your relationship that you are able to identify the energetic love vibration which is incompatible with you, the better. Regardless of when the identification becomes aware to you, and you or your partner take the action(s) necessary to lead to the relationship’s cessation, the process of disengagement and disconnection can be quite painful for either or both parties in the relationship which has become unmanageable.

Insensitive People

Those people who are less sensitive than the rest of us, may have limited capacity for love and the feelings which are associated with love and romantic relationships. While they are able to connect to another person, their ability to connect is somewhat limited, therefore they are not easily hurt when the relationship begins to uncouple or fall apart.

Insensitive people are not bad people, even though they can easily be demonized when the relationship begins to deteriorate, and they are not as moved emotionally as the other partner might be. It’s easy to assume they don’t care, are mean, or evil, even though their motives may be absent of malice. Lacking in capacity does not make them bad people, it’s just the way they are.

This type of coupling, the sensitive with the insensitive, is not uncommon as in the courting process, these opposites are generally attracted to each other. Insensitive people can change and become more sensitive over time, but the sensitive partner cannot change them (so give up on any expectation that you might be able make him or her more sensitive, this is a solo part of the journey for the insensitive).

Survivors

Survivors are those who will do or say anything in order to survive. This was a far more popular motivator in the acquisition of love and finding a suitable mate in our not too distant past. In a time when it was difficult for a single person of low or normal means there existed a great deal of importance focused on finding someone to cohabitate with or marry to prevent homelessness or being shunned by society.

Even though in modern times we embrace the idea of being able to survive (and sometimes thrive) as adult singles, there are still those who seek out a mate to enhance their ability to enjoy the basic necessities of life.

Manipulators

Manipulators take the idea of surviving to the next level. They desire not only to survive but to benefit greatly from their matchmaking efforts. They find suitable mates based on what they can bring to the relationship which is highly sought after by the manipulative love-seeker, who may also lean toward narcissism.

They have an uncanny ability to pour on the charm to persuade the object of their affection that he or she is indeed, “the one.” The answer to all your hopes and dreams in terms of love, and we all, regardless of our station in life, desire and long to be loved, therefore may fall victim to this type of manipulation in the courting process.

Predators

Predators are those who maliciously exploit the unsuspecting tender hearts to their benefit, using romance and the promise of love to defraud or abuse their love-prey for their own satisfaction. These are most likely the predatory sociopaths and psychopaths who are just out to exploit love-seekers for whatever they can get.

With the least ability to have compassion or feelings, they are especially gifted in their skills as users and abusers. They will only leave when your supply has been exhausted and you are no further use for them, or you have identified them, insulated and separated yourself from them.

Let ’em Go

Even though it can be painful and difficult to let the disingenuous lover go, let him or her go.

If your love is not recipricated and/or not a match for you, let him go. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship without love. Set yourself free and open for love.

Not to do so, is self-abuse and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Stay Open

Not to cast a dark could on your love seeking, because there are authentic genuine lovers who are perusing the landscape of people in search of you and your unique ability to love and be loved.

Stay open and aware that there are more people whom you are incompatible with than those with whom you are compatible with to varying degree in terms of your unique love vibration.

Don’t be in a hurry or try to rush things, as he or she may not be perfectly aligned with you at the moment. Your soul mate may be looking for you while in the process of working on his or her alignment, just as you are, in this moment.

When you are both a vibrational match, you will find yourselves looking into each other’s eyes.

I Don’t Want to Fake Love Anymore

Every once and a while I meet with someone who says something like, “I’m just not feeling it anymore.” They’re with someone who they once felt like they were in love with but nowadays, they feel like they’re just going through the motions and faking it. They’re uncomfortable and say, “I don’t want to fake love anymore.”

When you feel like saying,

I don’t want to fake love anymore

What can you do?

First off, you must know that love is a modulating frequency which goes up and down, in a constant state of flux. Just like the tide, love has ebb and flow. Sometimes it goes out and the beach is dry, other times love comes rushing in, like a flood.

It’s common to reach a dry spell in your relationship, when you’re feeling like you’re engaged in a false love relationship. Sometimes it feels like you’re faking your love for your partner, sometimes you’re wondering if your partner is faking his or her affections toward you.

One thing you can do is to ask yourself, “What does love mean to me?”

You’re entitled to have and hold your own definition of love. If you choose to believe that love is only that exuberant feeling of passionate desire, then that is your choice, and you will probably have a long line of successive relationships to capture and try to sustain that kind of love.

On the other hand, if you’re definition of love leans more toward longer-term relationships, you will recognize and honor love’s ebb and flow.

Let’s say you’re at your peak, you’re an Adonis or Aphrodite (which we all are, of course) and your partner has become slightly less desirable to you, no problem, there’s always someone waiting in the wings for their turn with you. Even so, you might consider the, “What if?”

What if something happened to you? What if you were in an accident, suffered disfiguring wounds (emotional or physical), lost your good looks, health, or fell ill? What then?

Would you want to be with someone who would stand by you no matter what because they love you, even if you’re not on your best game, even when times get rough? Or would you rather your partner seek out someone whom he or she felt was more desirable in that moment?

A wise lover gives the love he or she desires.

Can you prevent yourself from falsely loving someone else?

If you really want to love the person you’re with, then you just have to do it. Love your partner even when you’re not feeling it. Love is an energetic continuum of unlimited supply.

When you’re not feeling the love, fake it.

I know, you’re thinking I didn’t understand the question, but I did.

When you’re not feeling the love, engage in the activities, yes, go through the motions, acting as if you feel the love just as much as you did before. You can call it false love, or faking it, play-acting, or put any label on it you want, but something magical happens when you love someone in this manner…

Your efforts are rewarded with the feelings of love from the endless supply of love which permeates all things. Before you know it, as you act out your love in the absence of the feelings, the feelings begin to return.

If you keep doing those things that you did when you felt deeply in love, the feelings return and then some, opening the doors to new possibilities as you pass through thresholds leading to even greater love.

Or, you could just go find someone else and see where that leads you.

If you don’t want to fake love anymore, just go through the motions (not because you hate having to do it, but) because you love your partner, and the feelings will come back, and even more.