Make Someone Love You

As much as you love someone, you can never love them enough to make them love you. Someone will either love you or they won’t. You will be able to trust them, or you won’t. They will either stay, or they will leave and no matter how much you love them, you cannot make someone love you back.

Since people have been exchanging love one to another, unrequited love has been an issue. It’s nothing new, and it’s not likely to change any day soon.

The False Accusation Breakup

There is a growing trend of demonization that is becoming more commonplace in the breakup process. When someone is secretly planning a breakup, they start collecting words and phrases uttered by you dating back to the origination of your relationship.

Data will likely include decisions you made or actions you’ve taken, which all can be spun into wild false accusations which would make others, possibly even yourself, question your capacity for love or sanity, which could be considered as abusive.

The false accusation breakup model is designed to hurt you and make you feel better about this person’s departure.

Until recently, this was a psychological tool utilized by psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists. Today, this is more common in our contemporary culture. When something invades popular culture, like this, there is little you can do about it, so until this method runs its course, try not to take it personally (though nothing could be more personal than a personal attack focused on you and your integrity).

Your attacker (the person breaking it off with you) has had plenty of time to prepare, and there is no way for you to compete or respond appropriately to each and every accusation, which will be voluminous.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of such an attack, your best move is just to listen, try not to let yourself be offended by all the accusations, and just let him or her air all their issues. Try to listen and interject with the, “Oh, I’m sorry,” or, “I didn’t realize that.”

The key is not to become offended or defensive about these exaggerated charges against you. This whole process is far less about you than it is meant to appear.

Your accuser has already left and has likely already made plans that do not include you. He or she has already left, and this particular act of demonizing you is his or her way of justifying their recent actions and final disconnection.

Any attempt to reason with someone who is unjustly rapid-firing a long list of false accusations will only delay the false accusation breakup performance and its ultimate outcome. So, just let them do what they have to do, and let them go.

Will it be painful? Yes, it will because you’ve been blindsided. You didn’t see this coming and it’s shocking when it happens. And because this break-up method is becoming more and more popular, you’re likely to encounter it more than once.

Remember that when someone is done with you, they are done. When they’ve initiated your crucifixion on their own, acting as accuser, judge, and jury. There is nothing you can do about it but delay the inevitable.

You cannot make someone love you, who has already left and disconnected from you. He or she may return later after they have put you through this and accomplished whatever it was that motivated them to do this to you.

If he or she returns, you have to seriously ask yourself if this is the kind of person you want to align yourself with. There is the likelihood that you will have to suffer this again in the future, and it will be worse the next time.

No one can make this decision for you. This is something you have to work out for yourself and whatever you decide will be right for you, because all things work out for good, even if it looks unlikely at the time.

So, see it for what it is, and let him or her say whatever is necessary to justify him-or-her-self. Let them go and remember,

You cannot make someone love you.

Disingenuous Lovers

Disingenuous lovers include those who are insensitive, having little ability to possess or share the heartfelt love that you might have, and will also include partners who approach love from completely different perspectives, these are the survivors, manipulators, and predators, among others.

With all the attempts to try to find a suitable partner who can love you in the very same way that you can love him or her, still there can exist an incompatibility in the type and style of love and loving which you share. Sometimes you discover yourself unequally yoked with a disingenuous or fake love.

Probably the most difficult part of finding a vibrationally matched lover, one that approaches the idea of love in a way that is harmonious with you, is so elusive, sometimes we just give-in, compromise, and accept what is more attainable, then work out the details later in the relationship.

The earlier in your relationship that you are able to identify the energetic love vibration which is incompatible with you, the better. Regardless of when the identification becomes aware to you, and you or your partner take the action(s) necessary to lead to the relationship’s cessation, the process of disengagement and disconnection can be quite painful for either or both parties in the relationship which has become unmanageable.

Insensitive People

Those people who are less sensitive than the rest of us, may have limited capacity for love and the feelings which are associated with love and romantic relationships. While they are able to connect to another person, their ability to connect is somewhat limited, therefore they are not easily hurt when the relationship begins to uncouple or fall apart.

Insensitive people are not bad people, even though they can easily be demonized when the relationship begins to deteriorate, and they are not as moved emotionally as the other partner might be. It’s easy to assume they don’t care, are mean, or evil, even though their motives may be absent of malice. Lacking in capacity does not make them bad people, it’s just the way they are.

This type of coupling, the sensitive with the insensitive, is not uncommon as in the courting process, these opposites are generally attracted to each other. Insensitive people can change and become more sensitive over time, but the sensitive partner cannot change them (so give up on any expectation that you might be able make him or her more sensitive, this is a solo part of the journey for the insensitive).

Survivors

Survivors are those who will do or say anything in order to survive. This was a far more popular motivator in the acquisition of love and finding a suitable mate in our not too distant past. In a time when it was difficult for a single person of low or normal means there existed a great deal of importance focused on finding someone to cohabitate with or marry to prevent homelessness or being shunned by society.

Even though in modern times we embrace the idea of being able to survive (and sometimes thrive) as adult singles, there are still those who seek out a mate to enhance their ability to enjoy the basic necessities of life.

Manipulators

Manipulators take the idea of surviving to the next level. They desire not only to survive but to benefit greatly from their matchmaking efforts. They find suitable mates based on what they can bring to the relationship which is highly sought after by the manipulative love-seeker, who may also lean toward narcissism.

They have an uncanny ability to pour on the charm to persuade the object of their affection that he or she is indeed, “the one.” The answer to all your hopes and dreams in terms of love, and we all, regardless of our station in life, desire and long to be loved, therefore may fall victim to this type of manipulation in the courting process.

Predators

Predators are those who maliciously exploit the unsuspecting tender hearts to their benefit, using romance and the promise of love to defraud or abuse their love-prey for their own satisfaction. These are most likely the predatory sociopaths and psychopaths who are just out to exploit love-seekers for whatever they can get.

With the least ability to have compassion or feelings, they are especially gifted in their skills as users and abusers. They will only leave when your supply has been exhausted and you are no further use for them, or you have identified them, insulated and separated yourself from them.

Let ’em Go

Even though it can be painful and difficult to let the disingenuous lover go, let him or her go.

If your love is not recipricated and/or not a match for you, let him go. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship without love. Set yourself free and open for love.

Not to do so, is self-abuse and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Stay Open

Not to cast a dark could on your love seeking, because there are authentic genuine lovers who are perusing the landscape of people in search of you and your unique ability to love and be loved.

Stay open and aware that there are more people whom you are incompatible with than those with whom you are compatible with to varying degree in terms of your unique love vibration.

Don’t be in a hurry or try to rush things, as he or she may not be perfectly aligned with you at the moment. Your soul mate may be looking for you while in the process of working on his or her alignment, just as you are, in this moment.

When you are both a vibrational match, you will find yourselves looking into each other’s eyes.

I Don’t Want to Fake Love Anymore

Every once and a while I meet with someone who says something like, “I’m just not feeling it anymore.” They’re with someone who they once felt like they were in love with but nowadays, they feel like they’re just going through the motions and faking it. They’re uncomfortable and say, “I don’t want to fake love anymore.”

When you feel like saying,

I don’t want to fake love anymore

What can you do?

First off, you must know that love is a modulating frequency which goes up and down, in a constant state of flux. Just like the tide, love has ebb and flow. Sometimes it goes out and the beach is dry, other times love comes rushing in, like a flood.

It’s common to reach a dry spell in your relationship, when you’re feeling like you’re engaged in a false love relationship. Sometimes it feels like you’re faking your love for your partner, sometimes you’re wondering if your partner is faking his or her affections toward you.

One thing you can do is to ask yourself, “What does love mean to me?”

You’re entitled to have and hold your own definition of love. If you choose to believe that love is only that exuberant feeling of passionate desire, then that is your choice, and you will probably have a long line of successive relationships to capture and try to sustain that kind of love.

On the other hand, if you’re definition of love leans more toward longer-term relationships, you will recognize and honor love’s ebb and flow.

Let’s say you’re at your peak, you’re an Adonis or Aphrodite (which we all are, of course) and your partner has become slightly less desirable to you, no problem, there’s always someone waiting in the wings for their turn with you. Even so, you might consider the, “What if?”

What if something happened to you? What if you were in an accident, suffered disfiguring wounds (emotional or physical), lost your good looks, health, or fell ill? What then?

Would you want to be with someone who would stand by you no matter what because they love you, even if you’re not on your best game, even when times get rough? Or would you rather your partner seek out someone whom he or she felt was more desirable in that moment?

A wise lover gives the love he or she desires.

Can you prevent yourself from falsely loving someone else?

If you really want to love the person you’re with, then you just have to do it. Love your partner even when you’re not feeling it. Love is an energetic continuum of unlimited supply.

When you’re not feeling the love, fake it.

I know, you’re thinking I didn’t understand the question, but I did.

When you’re not feeling the love, engage in the activities, yes, go through the motions, acting as if you feel the love just as much as you did before. You can call it false love, or faking it, play-acting, or put any label on it you want, but something magical happens when you love someone in this manner…

Your efforts are rewarded with the feelings of love from the endless supply of love which permeates all things. Before you know it, as you act out your love in the absence of the feelings, the feelings begin to return.

If you keep doing those things that you did when you felt deeply in love, the feelings return and then some, opening the doors to new possibilities as you pass through thresholds leading to even greater love.

Or, you could just go find someone else and see where that leads you.

If you don’t want to fake love anymore, just go through the motions (not because you hate having to do it, but) because you love your partner, and the feelings will come back, and even more.

Avoid False Love

Have you ever fallen in love with someone only to find out he or she was not everything you thought they were? Who hasn’t? Most of the time if you’ve discovered that someone is not appearing to be congruent with what you thought he or she was it’s on you. You gave his or her the benefit of the doubt and wanted to believe the best about him or her, so you turned a blind eye to inconsistencies in the beginning. Other times, something more sinister is at hand and you may find yourself a victim of false love. Is there a way to avoid false love?

When a relationship which has one or both partners engaged in false love, the relationship is unsustainable, and it will not end well. The false lover asserts, “everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn’t end.”

What attracted butterflies and roses, in the beginning, has turned to trash attracting flies and decay. This happens to most, if not all, of us, as we learn that some things are only for a season and if you’re able to keep your wits about you, you can extract the learning, let go as quickly as possible and continue on your journey more knowledgeable and powerful than you were before finding yourself in false love.

The false love can be on either side. It could be that your partner is the one feigning love to achieve his or her intended purpose. He or she may have led you along, only to accomplish what he or she needed to do. Then, when you outlived your usefulness, he or she moved on, leaving you holding the bag of confusion, wondering, “What’s happening,” “Where’d you go?” or, “What did I do wrong?”

What did you do wrong?

You didn’t do anything wrong, except for to love someone who you thought was authentically loving, just like you were. How were you to know you were just being played?

On the other hand, you may have been the one who engaged the false love in the relationship. If so, you probably know that you had entered the relationship with little or no intention of following through. You have to do what is best for you and if you are unable to have an authentic loving relationship, good luck to you, and I hope for you that you find the love within you to experience greater love for yourself and others, and have more love to share with the world. If this applies to you, the least you could do is to be more honest and open about what the limitations are which should be expected in this relationship early on. To suddenly disappear in a dramatic display of accusations of your partner’s unfounded transgressions out-of-the-blue, is rude and does not reflect on you well. If you think about it, you could do better.

How do you know you were in a false love relationship?

When one or both of you are having false love in your relationship, things go well but the good times are unsustainable because one or both of you lack the depth of real love. Real love empowers he or she who possess it the ability to work through issues (even if they are difficult issues) that may arise in the relationship, while the false lover can easily disregard circumstances and situations which may not be in the best interest of the relationship. Why? Because he or she who is in false love can always leave if things are not going his or her way.

If you are in a relationship with a false lover, you will probably notice your identity begin to fade into a long list of compromises in an attempt to support the relationship. This is because you are in real love. God bless you for your real love, though, as you may know by now, your real love is wasted on the false lover.

A false love relationship is like an emotional roller coaster, and you might find yourself on pins and needles, in a constant state of alert, so that you can avoid any pending drama which may show up and disrupt your life, like an atom bomb, at any moment in time.

When you really need a bit of help and support from a false lover, you will rarely find it, even if you’ve given and supported your partner immensely, you find out that you cannot expect the same in return. This massive inequality is probably the biggest reason you must avoid false love.

When you’re in a false love relationship, you may have intimacy, and the intimacy may be incredible, but it leaves you thinking that something’s missing. Well, you’re right. What’s missing is the key ingredient: Love. Without it, there is no real connection which is required for real intimacy.

Real, authentic, love is not false; it is true love. You know this because you’ve either had it, given it away or had a glimpse of it sometime in your life. In all of the ways love can be given, received, or communicated, the highest and best form of love is unconditional.

Unconditional love is selfless, honors others, does not disregard them, and makes you want the best for, and to please, someone else.

Whatever you do for someone else, if it is not rooted in true love, there is little or no love behind it, only a false love, whether you use the word(s) or not.

True love awaits anyone with the wherewithal to seek it, though the learning curve may be steep, the process is worth it.

True love is waiting for you.

Avoid false love.