Red Flag Obsession

There’s so much advise, and when you’ve been the unfortunate victim of abuse or a romance-gone-bad, you can find a sense of safety by looking for red flags. Beware that you might fall victim to red flag obsession.

And if you aren’t able to come up with enough red flags, you can find all the red flags you could possibly imagine everywhere from newsstands and books to the over-anxious depths of the worldwide web.

When you start looking for red flags, out of fear, your fear will begin to see everything as a potential red flag. The same red flags which you embraced as a means to protect yourself can actually promote your own deterioration or destruction.

If you’re frightened, broken, or suffering from a broken heart, you probably shouldn’t be looking to put yourself at risk. You should avoid putting yourself in situations that could potentially be risky so that you don’t have to use red flags to help keep you safe.

If you are looking for red flags, you’re bound to potentially find them everywhere you look, keeping yourself in a perpetual state of panic. Not only will you find this exhausting, but the stress that comes from this will cause your immune system to fail, and this will cause your social network to break down.

It will be difficult for someone obsessively looking for red flags to trust others, it also engenders a feeling in others who may feel the negative energy of your troubled perspective to trust you, especially, if you’ve announced your propensity to be looking for red flags.

People don’t like to be judged unjustly and will think they are under your unrelenting microscopic examination. Few people would sign-up for such an interrogative approach to demonization and may find ways to avoid you and your red flag obsession.

And if you’re so inclined, you will probably assume that this person was guilty when they found a way to avoid further interaction with you.

Red flag obsession is a lonely business where you assume the role of the only righteous judge who is constantly judging all who access your social court and is akin to narcissism. You’re better than that.

Not all people are bad people. In fact, few of them are. There are far more good people in the world than predatory ones. But if you are looking for red flags, you will be able to take a small detail, and using your fear-fueled imagination, you can assume this is a potentially dangerous person.

Only bad people have to assert how good they are by constantly saying, “I’m a good person.” For the most part, a good person doesn’t need to assert their goodness. The people who have known this person for an extensive amount of time will know how “good” they are by witnessing their integrity over time.

A truly good person does not have to convince anyone of their goodness and they may feel it unreasonable, or at least awkward, having to prove their goodness or worthiness to anyone.

Rather than looking for the evil red flags, a healthier, wiser person might otherwise be looking for the good in others. And it’s not just enough to query them in a question and answer format-like interview.

Take your time and observe them over time. Don’t jump right in and put yourself at risk, though moving any relationship to a deeper level will have risk associated with it. The best and closest relationships involve a degree of vulnerability or risk.

Continue to be cautious, but not so cautious that it makes you paranoid about being at risk all the time, this is unhealthy red flag obsession.

If you’ve been bitten by the red flag bug, no problem. We all do the best we can with what we have. You don’t owe anyone an apology, you didn’t do anything wrong, but now you can start taking a more positive approach to getting to know others.

You’ll be surprised to find that once you start looking for the best (just like when you were looking for the worst) in others, you will find beauty and goodness everywhere you look. And you won’t have to worry about being at risk.

Just because you’re looking for the best in others doesn’t make you blind. You will see the inconsistencies in others and you can safely file the information away as you allow their reality to unfold naturally before you.

Fear is the Doorway

When you feel the fear of something your first instinct is to find safety and security from that which you fear or turn and run in the opposite direction of it. This instinctual reaction has allowed the human race to survive amidst predators and calamity over time. For those who are on a path of personal growth and expansion, fear is the doorway to all the best things in life.

We fear so many things, mostly those things unknown to us, and our instincts try to keep us safe from what we fear. Your inner voice will try to talk you out of anything because it’s scared that something bad might happen as the result of something you have little or no experience with.

It is far worse if you have had experience with a particular thing, circumstance, or situation which did not work out well in the past. You will pretty much do just about anything to avoid finding yourself in that situation again, and there’s nothing wrong with that. For most people safety and security is the best policy.

For those who dare to accept the challenge, they have come to realize that fear is the doorway which leads to all the best things in life. Fear is a signal and a sign that something amazing is waiting for you on the other side of fear.

Experience will educate you of the benefits of pushing through the fear to see what’s on the other side, and you will come to know that which awaits you may not be what you originally thought was on the other side of fear.

You may have had an originally idea about what pushing through the fear may yield you, only to find something far greater than you could have imagined was waiting for you as your reward for facing your fear and overcoming the very thing that frightened you.

It takes courage to face your fears and much more to actually take the action(s) necessary to overcome the fear which has overtaken you. You will need to rustle up some personal strength just to look your fear in the eye, feel good enough about yourself to put yourself at risk, with the determination and commitment to see this episode through to see what happens once you have conquered your fear.

Sometimes God or your guardian angel will be so frustrated with your hesitance to face your fear and enjoy what is waiting for you on the other side of fear, that they will conspire to set up circumstances and situations which you will not be able to avoid. Thereby forcing you to face your fears, as if to drag you through this transformative process kicking and screaming, in a devil-may-care let go or be dragged method of metamorphosis.

Always, when you find yourself the victor of overcoming your fear, you are blessed with the benefits of having not only surviving the process, but thriving in a new, more empowered version of life and yourself.
As you overcome fear, you inspire others who are also restrained by fear’s shackles. Your inspiration can be the fuel which enables others to reach out and dare to face their fears, just as hearing about or seeing someone face their fears may have been an inspiration for you to consider overcoming your fear(s).

This is part of the new evolution of human potential in a world which is manipulated and controlled by fear. Every day more of us are awakening to the lies we’ve been presented with and those which we’ve let keep us down.

Overcoming fear moves you into a higher vibration of power affecting not only your life, but the lives around you, your community, the community at large, affecting the entire planet.

Facing your fears, those things which are frightening, and doing what it takes to push through to the other side is the currency of living a better life, your best life, and making the world a better place.

Fear Disguised as Compassion

How many times has someone rained on your parade or tried to put the kibosh on your idea(s) or squash your dreams? It happens all the time, and usually includes, “I care about you so much,” or, “I’m just looking out for your best interests,” but it’s really only fear disguised as compassion.

They don’t really care about you, or else they’d be more supportive. Okay, that was harsh, maybe they do care about you, but they’ve let their fear override taking the higher road of loving and supporting you to achieve your highest and best.

Let’s face it, most people are governed by fear. It’s the way we’ve been taught to live life on this planet, in a constant state of fear. Fear from the government or the police, fear of not being accepted by others or doing good enough. This is how we are easily controlled and herded like sheep, in a constant state of fear… and if things get too good or comfortable, look out. Because something very frightening is about to happen to make sure you’re slapped back into the state of fear.

We project these fear(s) onto the people we supposedly care about and we do our best to cover it up to make it look like compassion, like we care so much about whoever it is we’re “trying to protect,” when really, we’re projecting our own fear onto him or her.

Maybe you’ve done this (I know I have). When my brother was deciding to make a particular life choice that would have huge impact on the remainder of his life, I did my best to dissuade him from pursuing this path, and to me, it really felt like compassion, or more, like I was trying to save him from making the most tragic decision of his life.

Why? Because I was truly afraid for him (but not really). The truth was, I had made a similar choice early on in my life, with hugely less than desirable results. I did not want the same thing to happen to him. But guess what? I wasn’t him.

He maintained his position and stayed true to what he felt was his calling and became hugely successful following this endeavor. In retrospect, I can look back and see, my compassionate concern had little or nothing to do with my brother’s decision and everything to do with my fear based on my experience. Nothing to do with my brother and everything to do with me.

Since then, I’ve realized that we’re all uniquely different and we all are doing the best we can with what we have. Two people can do exactly the same things, step-by-step, and have entirely different results. One could go through the experience with invaluable yet harsh lessons to be learned in preparation for his or her next phase of life, the other wildly successful.

Now, I am more cautious about cautioning others who are pursuing their dreams.

Since I’m in the dream business, I am constantly surrounded by people pursuing their dreams. So much so, that I am often surprised when I find myself in a public venue politely engaging in chit-chat and discover most people are not pursuing their dreams.

I forget, sometimes, that the rest of the world is so fearful, and they have given up on the hope that their dreams would ever come true, except for the hope of maybe winning the lottery, one day.

Most of them can recall a time when they were more optimistic about potential positive outcomes, had a dream, took a shot at it, and was either not supported, or failed, and just gave up on it, as if it was just some childish fantasy.

And as we know, misery loves company, so those who had a dream and walked away from it, fearing that it wouldn’t come true anyway, try to gather people “we care about” around us, and persuade them to feel the same way we do, in their best interests.

With the best intentions, we try to gently smash their dreams, because we fear they will suffer the same heartbreak that we did when we had a dream.

How dare we do that?

If you really cared about that person (you were trying to save from himself or herself) you would boldly support them in their pursuit of his or her dreams.

Shame on you (me, or anyone) for projecting my fear onto someone else.

Surely, you may share your experience with him or her, being careful not to communicate in any way that you might not be 100% supportive of their decision and effort to follow their dreams. Maybe you’re sharing your experience will help them avoid a potential pitfall as they go forward and seek to achieve their highest and best.

Therein is the redemption for your experience or failure. Every misstep or failure has a lesson in it. In most cases, the lesson is for you, but maybe, in this case, it was for that person who has raised the courage to go for their dream.

We all have our own individual paths to follow and journey to embark upon, celebrate those who have the drive to be true to themselves. Maybe they stumble and fall along the way. Support them, help them get up and back on their feet again. Be there for them, when they need a shoulder to lean on, but never say, “I told you so.” Instead, say,

“I love you and I will support you in whatever you decide to do, because I believe in you, and you will do what is right for you.”

If you really care about them, bless and support them for going for it no matter what.

Angry Much?

Every once and a while, you are likely to lose your grip, allow anger to overtake you and lead you into an emotional display that, depending on how you handle it, could have negative or positive ramifications.

While it’s easy to give in to your emotions when they well up inside of you, there are other alternatives that can give you control of anger, or any other emotions if you are proactive and inclined to do the work necessary to make yourself the master of your emotions.

People are always their weakest when they are angry.

Knowing what anger is, and what causes it to rise up inside you, is a good place to start when trying to tame this wildcat.

Anger is a fear-based negative emotion fueled by the stress hormone, “cortisol,” that could be triggered by nearly anything, such as, pressure from school or work, unexpected change, challenging life circumstances, feeling as though you’re being attacked (or lorded over) by other people, as well as underlying fears like feeling threatened, perception of impending pain, jealousy, disappointment, low self-esteem, fear of failure, or loss.

Giving in to the emotion of anger can actually have a detrimental effect on your physical, psychological and spiritual health. When you are enveloped by anger, your heart rate speeds up, blood pressure builds, stress hormones are released en masse which creates a toxic cocktail for your body and its associated systems.

Think early physiological deterioration, aging, and failing organ function, memory loss, acute minor motor skills, reaction time, just to name a few.

Getting a handle on your anger is one of the best ways to look younger, increase your quality of life and longevity.

Keeping a list handy where you can note when you are triggered to feel anger and what caused the emotion to make you start to feel angry would help to get an idea of when you might be most susceptible to a potentially volatile outburst.

When you’re experiencing a calm state of mind, and are willing to set aside a few minutes to do so, make a list of things that you can think of that make you angry.

To give you an idea, here’s a copy of a client’s list (used by permission):

• When I get an automated computer voice and a long list of numbered options when I call a business for assistance
• Dealing with impatient customers at work
• Having to deal with my mother-in-law (she doesn’t like me much)
• Crazy drivers on the highway during my commute
• Checking my stock values and finding they’ve decreased again

Here are some ideas that help keep the wild beast at bay when you’re feeling like your bubble of calm is about to burst

Chill out; literally. Grabbing something cold and refreshing, like a frozen drink (or a drink with a lot of ice), a slushee, shaved ice or ice cream can hit the spot, and the temperature jolt to your system can have a calming effect, reducing your potential angry outburst.

Take an exhilarating break by taking a walk, or a hike (subject to time and available access). This helps take care of your body, while cortisol (the stress hormone) subsides and is overrun by happy and healthy hormones, such as endorphins, endocannabinoids, dopamine, and serotonin.

If you’re in a private place, you can always crank up the tunes, dance to the music, or sing along as best you can to your favorite song(s).

Write a letter. You don’t have to send it, just write out your emotions, how this person, place or thing made you feel angry. If you’re keeping an anger diary, be sure to leave space for something good that happened today, also.

Do things differently. If you’re exposed to an activity regularly during your day which set off your anger response, alter your routine so as to avoid that particular trigger (like taking an alternative route to and from work, etc.).

These are just a few ideas to get you started on taking charge of your anger, placing you in the driver’s seat of your emotional storage facility.

Knowing what sets you off, and having some tools to interrupt your pattern can move you quickly toward a healthy, happier life, shaving years off your appearance and supporting your long and more satisfying life.

Whack Upside the Head

Ever wonder why your fears are often realized? Well, the answer is it’s all because of you, based on your fear, you’ve placed your fervent request that God give you a big ol’ whack upside the head. He does. So, enjoy your misery and suffering. You asked for it and you got it (sometimes in spades).

whack-upside-the-head

You refute, “No! That’s not true. I didn’t say I wanted that to happen. I prayed for it not to happen!” But it did anyway.

It doesn’t take rocket surgery to figure out – because you know this is true via the experience of Trial and Error, so I risk stating the obvious, though it may not have occurred to you, yet – that if you are fearful of a particular negative outcome, it will come to pass.

The more energy that you put into your fear, the more that which you fear is likely to be increased when you look it face-to-face, eye-to-eye. Why?

You were not designed to maintain yourself in a state of fear. You are designed to be the powerful, dominant life force on this planet. In fact, that’s why God made you in His image to represent His loving dominion and to fully enjoy all He has given to you. Even His Son insisted that you hold the very same miraculous powers within, if you only would allow yourself to believe and receive.

What?

Yes. You have all these God-like powers lying dormant within you, begging to be released empowering you to be the full representation of the Creator enjoying all this life has to offer.

You may doubt this, but your fear and realizing your fears in the actual 3D world we inhabit is proof of the awesome power that you wield.

For when you fear, you’ve effectively placed your order at the Drive-up window of the Universe and paid for your fears to be actualized. The price you pay is commensurate to the amount of energy with which you place your order. The more you fear or dislike something the more you’ve paid. You pull forward to the next window to receive your order, and you’re surprised when you get the whack upside the head, just as you ordered it.

But that’s NOT what I want!

You protested, that’s not what you wanted. So what do you think you should do about it?

How about stop placing your order for what you don’t want and start placing your order for the things in life that you do want?

a-whack-upside-the-head

Just as fear is the currency for placing and paying for what you don’t want, love is the currency representing the desires of your heart. To get what you want, you must stop fearing and start loving.

The powers that be do not want you to realize that you have this power, so they keep you in a state of fear with a constant barrage of presenting you with ideas, images and stories representing what you don’t want. By maintaining a base-line frequency of fear, you are powerless to fully engage your God-given love machine for full abundant manifestation. (This effectively reduces you to a drone to carry out the mandates of the system to support the “machine” which rules our planet.)

Regardless of their efforts to suppress our spiritual growth and enlightenment, we are beginning to awake to the idea that there is more to this life than we are programmed to believe possible.

Fear and Love cannot effectively occupy the same space within your heart and mind, so eliminating fear and replacing it with love and maintaining a state of love changes your overall vibrational frequency.

You can start by not focusing on that which you do not want and start spending every conscious effort dreaming, imagining and expressing gratitude for its receipt in advance. See what happens then.

Instead of getting the whack upside the head, you will notice the things that you’ve longed for will begin to come into view.

As you do this – and continue to love instead of fear – you will begin to see how fun enjoying all that this life has to offer can be.

Self Sabotage

You want it. You want it bad. You want it more than you’ve ever wanted it before. Your desire has brought you to look at it in the eye. Here you are face-to-face with that which you desire. It’s so close, you can sense it, see it, smell and taste it.

The planets are aligned, the moment is here. This is the right time and the right place to finally get that illusive thing you have longed for.

What do you do?

You might be surprised to discover that most (if not all) people will unwittingly do anything possible to prevent taking full advantage of the opportunity to have what they want. In fact, they may unconsciously disregard, disrespect and ultimately destroy the opportunity altogether.

self-sabotage

Self-sabotage

If you’ve done this – and I know you have – you are a self-saboteur. How do I know you have done this? Because everyone has committed self-sabotage at some point in their life. I don’t know one person who has not sabotaged themselves at some point (well, maybe one, but I believe he is in denial – and that’s okay).

Why would I sabotage myself?

This is something that happens deep inside your self – the you that you are in the core of your being – that subconscious part of you that desires to protect you from all things that may lead to disappointment.

Your subconscious is your oldest protection mechanism. It perfectly recalls every moment when you were disappointed, experienced distress, pain, or got your feelings hurt. In those moments, this deepest part of you vowed to protect you from ever feeling like that again.

This part of your being is also the keeper of your deepest fears and lack of self-esteem or sense of unworthiness.

Experience + Fear – Self esteem = Self Sabotage

When these ingredients are combined and activated, the toxic result is Self-sabotage.

With the best of intentions, your subconscious will do everything possible to avoid – or even push away – that which you so sincerely desire to preserve your state of being.

Unlike you conscious mind which might be able to rationalize, with Tennyson’s, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” your subconscious believes it is far better not to have had anything than to suffer the anxiety, disappointment, pain or sadness associated with loss.

Your subconscious is always ready to do battle with any tools available to prevent you from having what you truly desire – if there is a chance things might not ultimately work out, like you would have liked.

Your subconscious takes this so seriously that it believes it’s thwarting your possibility of happiness is self-preservation, a life-saving effort. It’s as if your life depends on avoiding this opportunity at all costs.

How Do I Stop Self-sabotage?

The answer to the question about, “What can I do about my tendency to self sabotage?” can be complex and when I work with someone on their propensity to sabotage themselves, it’s easy to see no two self saboteurs are alike. Nonetheless, the process always centers around the same base ingredients of the equation.

Experience, Fear and Self esteem

If you can recognize the experiences that are preventing you from moving forward, what your fears are and what they are based on and ways that you might lack self esteem or sense of unworthiness and resolve these underlying issues, then you can confidently destroy the self-sabotage defense mechanism, while retaining the wisdom associated with your life’s experience.

Short Cut to Freedom from Self Sabotage

You might think, “Oh, that sounds like a lot of work… Isn’t there something I can do now to avoid self sabotage?”

Yes, you can start with reprogramming your self-conscious by adding a layer of worthiness using your imagination and positive affirmations.

Create a Vision

Create a vision of yourself in your mind’s eye of you completely happy, having that which you desire, fully safe and secure in its fullest expression. The more elaborate the vision with all five senses fully engaged, the more effective it will be. Take five minutes in the morning (preferably the first five minutes of your awakenedness) and five minutes in the evening to take yourself to this place, imagining how great it will be.

Affirmations

Reciting positive affirmations is a good way to start reprogramming your self-conscious. Following are some ideas for affirmations that you can recite (more effective out loud, if possible and silently if more appropriate) which can effectively begin to become more believable or real the more you recite them:

I love and accept myself unconditionally.

I release any need for misery and suffering.

I let go of anything in my past that might be holding me back.

I have high self esteem and I respect myself.

I deserve all the best this life has to offer.

I think on these things: Love, Good health, Prosperity and Positive outcomes. As I do, more love, greater health, wealth and the best things in life come to me.

I love and respect every moment of my life and am so grateful for the blessing of living my best life as it continues to get even better.

And now that you know this, the next time your approached with an incredible opportunity?

Consider jumping into full immersion.

What if it doesn’t work out?

You will not have to be like so many whom I have visited in their last moment whose lives are full of regret for not taking action when they had the chance.

You might get your feelings hurt… and that’s okay… because

It might just be your greatest experience ever!

 

 

Give What You Want

If you really desire something to be ever present in our life, then give it away.

gratitude-vs-fear-give-what-you-want-to-abundantly-receive

There are many ways to get stuff, as in most areas in life, obtaining physical possession or emotional states includes a wide spectrum of possibilities but basically are obtained either by hoarding or giving.

Hoarding is fear-based promoting lack, and giving is gracious benevolence that promotes abundance.

Which sounds more appealing to you?

Fear or Gratitude

Fear

In a fear-based state of mind, the person who is acquiring any given thing, circumstance, state of mind or feeling is doing so from an energetic position of survival, and in a more aggressive campaign for any given thing, survival of the fittest. The extreme is likened to an act of war, where the goal is to conquer the enemy to obtain that which is sought.

In the battlefield of acquisition morality may be compromised in an effort to get what you want. Not unlike war-time. We raise our children not to kill. Later in life, they may find themselves in occupations where they are taught that killing is not only acceptable in certain circumstances, but if they are in a war-time occupation it becomes their job, to kill for their country.

The same is true for fear-based accumulation. To varying degrees (based on the individual) all bets are off. They are likely to do or say anything in an effort to obtain that which they seek. The more desperately they want it, the more desperate the measures they will take to get it.

You might think that this fear-based acquisition might represent only low income individuals. If so, be prepared to wrap your head around the idea that this style of acquisition permeates all income levels from the lowest to the wealthiest people on our planet.

In the fear-based system, the acquisition of that which is sought is not satisfying to the person who obtained it in this manner. While some satisfaction is obtained by getting what they wanted, it doesn’t last long, and they long for something else to get.

I am not offering any judgment on how someone acquires the stuff they want. It’s not good or bad, right or wrong, it just is what it is.

Gratitude

Then there are the people who are thankful for anything they receive and give freely with no expectations and they get everything they want in an abundant fashion, while the rest of us look on in utter amazement wondering, “How do they do it?”

They don’t work hard for anything, do not obsess over its absence, just believe they will have it and whatever it is they’re wanting finds its way to them.

They tend to be extremely generous, helping others, giving of themselves in a variety of ways to offer energetic assistance, contribute to the evolution of peace and/or a better world in some way.

Whether they are aware of it or not, they are participating in what we currently refer to as the Law of Attraction. Some people just do it naturally and the rest of us can learn how to live a life like this, although it will take some effort on our part if we are to move from fear-based acquisition to gracious abundance.

Reduced to its simplest form, I see the fear-based acquisition and gracious abundance not as good and bad, but more like the hard way or the easy way. To me it is easier to freely give, love and promote peace, kindness and a better world and enjoying all the things that come my way, than to fuss and fret about not having what I want, scrimping, saving or manipulating people or circumstances (including finances and financing) to get what I want.

If you are in the fear-based mindset, the scrimping, saving, financing sounds much more practical and easier than letting go enough to find joy in allowing what you want to come to you at the perfect time. To you, the concept of giving-and-allowing sounds impractical or ridiculous at first blush.

Think about it

This applies to all things, material things as well as emotional states.

In this respect it is true: you cannot buy love or happiness. Oh, you can achieve that state for a while via any means possible, but it does not satisfy as much as when that which you seek is obtained by giving of it freely, and receiving it in return.

What do you think?

Fear Disguised As

Fear is a chameleon, able to blend-in to any thought process it can find in your mind to stealthily thwart any opportunity for growth or change. Fear is the driving force of your soul’s dark side that has the ability to masquerade as other thought processes, keeping you from achieving your highest and best.

fear-disguised-as-other-emotions-prevent-advancement

Fear may disguise itself, like:

Fight or Flight

The fight or flight response is the most recognized form of fear in action. Certainly, flight is a fearful condition, but fear can masquerade itself as preparing you for battle. It can cause you to defend your position using disrespectful tactics, choosing (emotional) weapons of warfare to battle otherwise supportive or inconsequential people in your circle of influence. If necessary, fear can escalate your emotional state to anger or rage, compromising rational thought.

Worry

Often closely associated with fear, worry keeps you distracted with heavy negative thought processes that have little substance for reality. Based solely on fanciful thought-plays fear will have you second-guessing and running endless debilitating “what if” routines until your mind is moved to complacent inactivity, overwhelmed by fear.

Doubt

“I don’t know, doesn’t’ sound right to me,” is fear’s way to keep you from entertaining an otherwise potential opportunity to make a change in your current life’s path. When masqueraded as doubt, fear often looks very similar to the kind of intuitive hit that someone gets from the heart which seeks to preemptively protect you from an otherwise unhealthy or even dangerous situation. This is the fuel that powers skepticism.

Overwhelm

When you’re at a crossroads and are looking at alternatives and paths to research or pursue, fear will seek out and present and flood your mind with so many opportunities, that you mentally abort the entire idea from fatigue, making it possible to come to a rational conclusion or make a decision.

Procrastination

Whether as the result of overwhelm, or not, procrastination is fear’s tool that prevents you from being able to take action. Taking action is the key to moving you in any direction, keeping your life from becoming stagnant. Just thinking about moving in any direction causes fear to awaken and if it can convince you not to take action today – simply put it off ‘til tomorrow – it can keep you complacent as you reside yourself to only passively fantasize about any potential movement or change.

Perfectionism

How many times have you failed to complete a thing due to feeling as though it is not good enough? This is fear disguised as making sure everything is just right, based on your lack of self confidence or fear of not attaining a certain level of perfection. More often than not, your intense attention to detail interrupted by any other of fear’s interventions, will stay off any potential hope of completion.

Responsibility

Creating a lifestyle based on responsibility or a sense of duty is fear militaristically acting out as a subconscious drill sergeant keeping you in-line with your dedication to conformity in a diligent lock-step fashion, disguised as “doing the right thing.” In a sense making you believe that staying the same is the right manner of living and to veer off the existing path would not be practical.

Mockery

Making fun of other people or circumstances with sarcastic overtones is fear preventing you from seeing value in other people’s (society’s or the world’s) progress. Zooming-in and exploiting a mis-step or mishap due to the efforts of someone or something else to change or advance, is fear protecting you from any inclination to move forward, because you would not want to be mocked or made the fool for trying to do so yourself.

Self-righteousness

The idea of thinking that you’re safe and secure in your complacent circumstances is fear-based and thinking that you are far better off rigidly defending your current place in life can make you feel as though you are better off than others who have not dug and settled into their own life-long foxhole. You have a feeling of superiority and look down on others who are not like you. You may also see others as untrustworthy, adversarial and feel compelled to disrespect, bully them or put them down.

Being Victimized

Being victimized is fear’s “safe haven” for otherwise progressive individuals. If fear can convince you that you have suffered a horrible injustice and keep you in a state of feeling victimized by others life circumstances or the establishment, it has built for you a nearly inescapable prison, where you can find safety only within its bars.

Apathy

You’re basically bored or could care less about anything. Fear will keep you without concern for others, society, the world or anything that is, “not my problem.” This nonchalant lack of interest makes you lethargic and creates space within your mind, which will seek out meaningless activities or thoughts to keep you in a state of unconscious consciousness, unable to be affected by anything meaningful.

Unmotivated

Fear drains chemicals (primarily dopamine) from the brain to reduce fleeting surges that may have given us enough motivation to actually make some progress. Fear seeks to maintain the status quo and reducing dopamine levels will keep you unfocused, maybe even lazy and less able to follow-through on life-changing moves (no matter how small).

Exhaustion

Many of fear’s processes can keep you in a state of fatigue which can thwart and hope of possessing the wherewithal to see anything through to its logical conclusion.

Look Behind the Mask

If you look behind the mask and remove the costumes wielded by fear, you can see it for what it is. Once identified and exposed, you can seek measures to counter its effects if you so desire.

 

Fear of Loss

In life, personal and professional, business and in investments, being afraid to take risk will more often than not hinder your rate of return.

fear of loss investing safe investing conscious investing parable of the talents

I’ve participated in businesses partnerships and organizations that adhered to specific cues, circumstances and cues in their investments so as to reduce the risk of potential loss. This I refer to as the

IF, THEN, ELSE subroutine

It goes something, like this:

We agree to participate in this particular venture with minimal investment and effort. IF there are particular signs that a reasonable profit may be earned, THEN we will have a meeting to see if the signs warrant a further investment of attention and/or cash. ELSE we cut continue to monitor looking for other clues.

There can be many checks and balances running in separate IF, THEN, ELSE subroutines, endlessly cascading to prevent potential loss.

Under these conditions acceptable gains may be realized and losses can be minimized. The people who participate in arrangements, like this, are quite satisfied with mediocre returns on their investments and may be comfort to falling back on settling for a few points of return in a bank savings account, while they wait for their next safe investment opportunity.

While I have joined others in IF, THEN, ELSE agreements, “safe investing” is not my preference (off camera, I might refer to this as, “chicken shit investing”).

In my endeavors, I prefer an ALL IN approach, where I love the project with all my heart, am passionate, proactive, have a high degree of responsibility of success or failure and go full-steam ahead to create an excellent result. This is why entrepreneurship suites me well.
This requires a high degree of self-confidence and does not appeal much to the safe investor. The idea of risking everything for a potential unknown outcome is fraught with fear of danger.

Of course, courageous investing without proper due diligence is folly. That is why I prefer a more conscious approach before going ALL IN on any potential project. For instance, I must love the endeavor, be passionate about it and the project at hand must be in-line with the theme of my life’s journey. So these are some of the questions I might ask before going ALL IN:

  • Is there an opportunity to achieve long-term success?
  • Are there associated activities that will bring me a sense of fulfillment and joy?
  • Can I perform necessary tasks while maintaining a vibratory state of love?
  • While engaged, can I help others achieve their highest and best?
  • Can this project help to make the world a better place?

Of course everyone would have their own independent set of questions to review prior to engaging in a potential project, so yours would more adequately represent your specific life-theme and/or goals.

CONSCIOUS INVESTING takes a great many things into account before making the leap but does take self-confidence and the ability to overcome fear.

The powers managing the United States and our world promote a state of fear because fearful people are easy to manage (“protect”).

Unlike, Jesus, I’m not saying conscious investing is better than safe investing. In His parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) the investors who returned with a 100% rate of return were rewarded, while the safe investor was punished. I’m saying, “It is what it is,” and, “everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have,” without any judgment.

There’s no right way or wrong way, just different strokes for different folks.

Q: Can a safe investor become a conscious investor?

A: Yes, but the work starts within, like all meaningful work. Start with the heart, build self-confidence and overcome fear, while learning, remaining mindful and moving steadily toward your goal.

Q: Is it necessary to become a conscious investor, if I’m not?

A: No. You are not broken. Nothing is wrong with you. You are perfect just the way you are, and you are loved.

Anxiety Depression Fear

For the most part anxiety, depression and the myriad diagnoses and symptoms that accompany these maladies are all fear-based. Granted, fear is a necessary survival instinct that helps to keep us alive and enables us to have a heightened sense of awareness when danger is present or the need for self-protection is imminent. On the other hand, when fear gets out of balance, anxiety symptoms and depression symptoms escalate creating disorders that can greatly affect our lives.

The therapeutic treatment community is doing their very best to keep up with all these anxiety disorders that are increasing at an alarming rate within the various ranks of our society. Categorization and labeling of specific symptoms has helped mental health professionals to define certain disorders and drug experimentation has been helpful in mitigating the damages (or subduing the symptoms) so as to offer a sense of normalcy to those afflicted with these fear-based ailments.

anxiety depression agoraphobia ptsd ocd panic attack

Some of the most prominent classifications include General Anxiety Disorder and its shirt-tailed cousins, Agoraphobia, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Panic Disorder, Social Phobia (as well as all other types of phobias, like fear of enclosed spaces, heights, large bodies of water, spiders, snakes, etc…), Acute Stress Disorder, Substance Induced Disorder and a number of variation and combinations as unique as each individual patient.

Then there are the depression disorders, like Bipolar disorder, Manic depression, Melancholia, Major depressive disorder, Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), Clinical depression, Dysthymic disorder, Psychotic depression, Cyclothymic disorder and Unipolar depression plus an unlimited hodgepodge of mixed anxiety-depression to make things even more complicated.

Are You Anxious or Depressed?

With the growth of these fear-based disorders, chances are you suffer from some form of anxiety or depression (which all of us do to some degree), but either you or someone you know suffers from an above-normal anxiety or depression level and you know things are just not right.

What Can You Do About It?

First off, seek help; a qualified third-party to help you discover a proper diagnosis and some intermediary intervention, because left to itself increasing levels of anxiety and depression can lead to suicide, one of the most escalating causes of premature death in the United States today.

That said, as soon as you are able to get a grip, take time for introspection. Either alone or with the help of a counselor, you can find out what the source of your anxiety and/or depression is and deal with it.

Finding inner peace through meditation, mindfulness and disengaging the painful neurological connections in your brain by using tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) or other psychological pain interventions can be highly effective modalities in helping to achieve a safe emotional place of self-centered being.

You are the master of your own fate. Increase self-confidence and take control of your life. You can – even in the most challenging life circumstances – find peace, harmony and happiness from within, living an enthusiastic life, giving you the ability to achieve your highest and best.

When you allow yourself to suffer the symptoms of anxiety and/or depression, your personal vibration acts as a powerful magnet attracting more and more negative life circumstances. Don’t close yourself off from others. Only by centering yourself and living a happy life (though probably faking it, at first), get out in public, put on a smile, greet people (even if only the clerk at the store, at first) looking and acting as if you are happy, will eventually help you feel better.

Finding any way to make you feel better is doctor’s orders. If it feels good to spend time with friends, be out in nature or go to a comedy club, whatever… Do that; then do more and more of those things that make you feel good.

Practice stress reduction techniques, such as mindfulness meditation or aerobic exercise. Shift your focus to the positive emotions in your daily life. Work to identify meaning and purpose in your life. Get support from others. Go for a walk or run in a park.

You Can Do This

You can conquer anxiety and depression and ultimately live a stress-free and happy life, if you learn how to relieve stress and are ready to get back in the driver’s seat of your best life, create an alternate route and begin your new journey to the destination of your choice.

Do not let these feelings and inner voices devour you. You have all the tools necessary to deal with this and get you back on your feet.