How to Talk About Love and Money

The key to the successful love relationship is to be able to get ahold of yourself, open the line of communication and how to talk about love and money.

In the romantic relationship, the issue of money matters is the number one reason for the relational breakdown and the decline of the love relationship, leading to a breakup, broken hearts, wounded people, dejection, and divorce.

Opposing points of view do not necessarily indicate an impasse.

When something presents itself to the relationship which is connected to the money issue, seek to be empathetic, to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, to understand, feel, or imagine what it might look like from his or her perspective, while compassionately expressing your point of view.

Even though how you feel about money is a closely guarded emotionally charged core value, do not be afraid to get to know what it is, in detail, and be willing to communicate and express the intimate details about how you feel about money to your partner in a safe environment. And don’t wait for a money crisis to do so. It may be too late at that point to have avoided a potential irreconcilable difference.

When reviewing your own money style, ask yourself if this way of thinking really serves you? Does it serve the relationship? Does it usher in the opportunity for abundance or a better life? Is your style of dealing with money restrictive or expansive?

Only you can determine what is the perfect way to feel about or deal with issues surrounding money. It will take some effort, work, digging deep within yourself, while learning about your partner’s money issues, too, and you can do this.

Once you have a handle on the issue, seek a way that you both can emerge from this as winners. For instance, if one of the partners wants to go on a vacation and the other wants to save money, keep talking. Even though it appears that these are on opposite ends of the spectrum, you can look for ways that you can take a vacation and save money at the same time: Win/win.

Don’t think of win/win as a compromise because it is not. It’s learning and growing through a potential challenge and emerging in a more elevated conclusion advancing your union further, while coming closer together.

Realizing and understanding that both parties bring to the relationship money values to which they are deeply connected. These are deep emotional connections which have developed over a lifetime, and truth be known, is more connected to familial influence or survival instincts, and may be rooted in a sense of lack.

The loving relationship can assist in the emergence of a truly independent and more advanced evolutionary approach to dealing with money issues which is a higher and more integrous concept of money and how to deal with it. Thanks to the relationship, if you can push through money issues and not walk (or run) away, you can develop your own independent money values, free from the past, while retaining the good stuff.

If you think about it, you can probably see the connection between how you feel about money and how your parents dealt with money issues, and depending on the age of your parents, when you were growing up and establishing your own money type, this probably had a huge influence on whether you became primarily a saver, or a spender.

It’s often a healthy idea for a couple to have three bank accounts, one for each partner, and a joint account representing the majority (say, 90%) of the joint income. This allows for each partner to maintain a degree of financial independence and freedom to exercise their own needs and desires without having to explain themselves every time they make an expenditure.

Remember, that when dealing with financial issues in a relationship, there really is no right or wrong way to approach money, just different ways, and they’re all okay. Don’t be too quick to judge your partner’s money type just because it varies from yours. It can often be helpful and advantageous for two different money types to be in a relationship together, bringing balance and harmony to the overall financial outlook of the couple.

Every couple is different, and their money solutions will vary. You have to figure out what works best for you and your relationship while expanding love and not letting it deteriorate.

It’s really all about trust. Trusting each other and yourselves.

What Kind of Car Do You Drive?

I hope you’ve picked it well, because your choice of car that you drive tells more about you than you may think.

its-all-about-your-car-luxury-sedan-mercedes-benz-jaguar-bmw-lexus

What does your car say about you?

It could mean,

You are a confident, well-balanced, trustworthy individual

If you drive a car that is not a burden and well within your means, congratulations, you are likely a confident, well-balanced, trustworthy individual and you’re in good company.

To qualify, your automobile will have a value of no more than ten percent of your annual gross income. If so, good job. You are driving a vehicle that is adequately suited for you, and may support the increasing of your income next year, or in the near future, thus raising your budget for an even nicer car.

This is the path of the confident self-supporter on track for increasing his or her personal wealth by not living beyond one’s means.

Financially, an automobile is far more than its adjusted value because there are many others costs of ownership which drive up the overhead for possessing such a vehicle. The monthly drain on your financial resources includes not just the car payment itself, but higher maintenance and insurance costs. And for whatever the reason (there are many ideas and conspiracies concerning) the nicer the car, the more parking tickets and traffic tickets you seem to attract, driving up the costs even more.

A local single mom who drives her kids to and from school in her new(er) Lexus who could afford the car payments, found herself not being able to afford much else. When the vehicle failed to work, the mom found herself fully swaddled in car payment with no reserves available to fix the now useless family ride. While she still had to make the payments, she could not afford to fix, nor replace it. Fortunately, she was able to raise enough money via crowd-source funding to have her car fixed after she and her family became stranded when it became inoperable.

What a disappointment, to have a nice vehicle that sits broken down in the driveway while you’re still paying the monthly freight of car payment and insurance.

That’s just one example of being upside down in your vehicle purchase, there are many stories including losing homes, families, job and investment opportunities due to possessing a car for which you are not well suited for, nor can adequately afford.

Nicer cars tend to attract not only the attention of law enforcement, but they attract other cars (either in accidents or in the driveway) and a sort of “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality, affecting your home, belongings and other creature comforts, adding even more financial and emotional stress to the purchase.

You might be surprised to find that almost three-quarters of all over $250,000-a-year income earners drive more modest consumer vehicles (Hondas, Toyotas, Fords and Volkswagens), leaving only twenty-five percent of them driving luxury vehicles that the rest of us covet.

Yet, nearly one out of every ten less than $100,000-a-year income earners are driving a luxury vehicle that is well beyond their means.

If you’re one of the unfortunate individuals who has fallen into the trap of being over-sold a luxury vehicle, it may indicate that you

Lack self-confidence, are easily swayed by what other people think or say and may likely to be headed for (or already up to your neck in) financial difficulties

Or alternatively,

A success and attention-seeking risk-taker, using the car as a status symbol, who aspires to become (or to persuade others to believe they are) a member of the nouveau riche

What Can I Do?

If you’re upside down in your vehicle, your best option is to get out from under it by selling it. Let it go and get something more moderate that is within your budget.

It’s probably not advisable to return it to a dealership, as that may not turn out the way you had planned.

If you really want that fancy car, no problem. You can use the money you’re saving every month, invest or grow it into raising your income to the point necessary to make your car choice make more sense, then finance it (or maybe even pay cash for it).

Personally, I don’t think its a good thing to try to judge (or categorize) a person by their appearance, source of income, their home or what they drive. Regardless, our society insists on doing so. (Which is good for business.)